Dick Morris has a fantasy even more bizarre -- but less expensive -- than the one where he's a french poodle caught piddling on his owner's slipper.
Bush's debate handicap: He simply knew too much
If President Bush had not clearly won the three debates in 2000 against so formidable a debater as Al Gore, one would be tempted to chalk up last week's inept performance to an innate lack of verbal skills. But Bush's forensic abilities were so amply on display four years ago that their disappearance last week is all the more puzzling.
The fault, one suspects, lies with the candidate's advisers and coaches, who clearly were not up to the task of preparing the president for the debates. It is a much more difficult task to prep a president than to get a challenger in shape to debate well. The president has a clear disadvantage: He knows too much.
But a president is sometimes muscle-bound and can't handle the arguments nimbly and articulately. He is blinded by knowing everything. When Kerry mentions Korea, for example, Bush probably recalls a thousand details that have been raised at a hundred meetings about how to deal with the reclusive and sullen regime.
As the debate turned to our relations with our allies, the president had to consider his personal relationships with a dozen foreign leaders, assessing each one and deciding how to address the issue broadly and publicly.
The president was also probably worried that his words could damage the American war effort. Asked, for example, about his failure to get United Nations approval for the war, Bush may have wanted to dwell on the corruption of our allies, each with their [sic] hand in the till reaping oil-for-food profits.
TONY BLAIR'S GOT HIS HAND IN THE TILL?
What about Poland?
It is the hand inside the Allawai puppet, or the little felt hand with the fingers drawn on?
You've been snorting too much Dr. Scholl's, Dick. The day that George Bush knows too much about anything is the day your tongue gets frozen to Satan's toe ring.