Sunday, May 29, 2011

Caption Contest

Governor Romney Claims Hackers Tweeted Photoshopped Picture From His Account.

Sharia Plain Seeks to Increase Her Base

Has the G.O.P. become a big tent party?

Rumor has it that Sharia Plain will launch her presidential campaign on June 22 at a public event in San Francisco.

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And by rumor, I mean something I just made up. Like Palin and her support for veterans. Dukakis looked more comfortable in that tank than does Palin trying to avoid direct physical contact with the woman operating that bike.

Bonus Comedy:

The NYT reports:

Ms. Palin climbed aboard a chopper, assisted by a member of the Rolling Thunder staff, but was unable to move because there were so many members of the press snapping photos. Organizers eventually brought in police, also on motorcycles, to clear a path.

After moving just a few feet, Ms. Palin got off the bike to sign autographs and talk with the crowd. At one point she could be heard discussing "the missing," a reference to the soldiers still missing in action — a key part of the Rolling Thunder cause.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Quittin' Ain't Defeat

Why is everyone (example here) pretending that a new straight-to-landfill film about Sharia Plain signals the Alaskan Dumbass' intention to run for President? The trigger for this speculation is a puffer at the right-wing Real Clear Politics site, which pimps the film with book report quality prose such as the following:

If [Palin] does decide to run, "The Undefeated" [sic] will be the key element to her initial coming-out party. The film's impending release -- and the frenzied media attention that it is sure to generate -- will serve as a vivid wake-up call that despite the many obstacles in front of her, Palin's entry into the race would turn the campaign on its head in an instant, just as it did in 2008.

Wait, where's the vivid snooze button? Ah... here it is:

Over the next hour, the crux of the narrative is taken over by Palin's Alaska backers, with former spokesperson Meg Stapleton and attorney Tom Van Flein leading the charge. Other more unfamiliar faces who uphold Palin's Alaska legacy include former Wasilla Deputy Mayor Judy Patrick, former gas pipeline adviser Marty Rutherford, longtime confidantes Kristan Cole and Judy Patrick, and former state Sen. Gene Therriault -- one of the few Alaska legislators who has remained vocal and consistent in his praise of Palin.

What, no spoiler alert?

Nothing generates electoral excitement like headshots and soundbites of and from a candidate's shyster, former mouthpiece and pipeline adviser.

And if that wasn't exciting enough:

As the documentary transitions to Palin's ascent to statewide office, it dramatizes the culture of corruption that permeated Alaska, with images of fat men smoking cigars in dark rooms and the infamous Suite 604 at the Baranof Hotel in Juneau, where the FBI secretly videotaped executives of the oil services company VECO in a corruption scandal that would shake the foundations of Alaska government just as Palin was making a name for herself as an ethics crusader.

I'm not sure why poorly-lit shots of Rush Limbaugh and a hotel room door would encourage anyone to vote for Palin (who didn't work for the FBI), particularly since Palin fled her office to avoid accountability while under investigation for ethics charges against her.

Apart from the crappiness of the film itself, the film isn't a Palin product. So why would it tell us about anything about Palin's plans? Palin didn't even bother to cooperate with the making of this magnum dopus, leaving the filmmaker to recycle audio from Palin's audiobook. (And we all know how riveting audiobook readings can be.)

Whether Palin runs is the guess of anyone who cares to guess about such things, but the fact that some deep-pocketed wingnut nobody decided to make a fanfic film about Palin last year, and is now promoting it, says nothing about Palin's present plans.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Porkfest at Tiffany's

Will Newt Gotrocks throw his wife under the bus to save his Presidential campaign? Depends on whether wife number four is already lined up, I suspect.

At the same time Tiffany & Co. was extending Callista (Bisek) Gingrich a virtual interest-free loan of tens of thousands of dollars, the diamond and silverware firm was spending big bucks to influence mining policy in Congress and in agencies over which the House Agriculture Committee - where she worked -had jurisdiction, official records show. ...According to her filings, Callista Gingrich listed debts to Tiffany of between $250,001 to $500,000 on a "revolving charge account" during 2005-2006. After she left in 2007, she was no longer required to report her finances.

The Washington Post' Glenn Kessler wrote that he was "puzzled" by Newt Gingrich's "claim that he had a 'standard, no-interest account' at Tiffany & Co."

"Would Tiffany really charge no interest for that period of time on that amount of money?" he asked.

Tiffany's standard credit card application, Kessler noted, states that customers pay 21 per cent interest on unpaid bills. If Newt and Calista Gingrich paid no interest on a $250,000 balance, it would amount to an interest-free loan of $50,000.

Of course, Newt may have been completely in the dark about his wife's indebtedness to Tiffany's, and just can't admit it. Perhaps, unbeknownst to Newt, Calista also had a Mercedes-Benz and a lot of pretty, pretty boys she calls friends. Some people just lie to their spouse.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

A Total Douchebag

The Daily Choler prints the truth!

Red State Editor-in-Chief and CNN contributor Erick Erickson is "a total douchebag," wrote Palin speechwriter and domestic policy adviser Rebecca Mansour in a May 22, 2010, message. "Greasy dumb ass with a talent for self-promotion. He threw himself in at the Gov's SC rally. Self-promotion."

But not the whole truth:

Other messages, including several TheDC has chosen not to publish....

They wouldn't want to start a precedent.

One has to wonder whether Mansour's assessment of Oly Olafson reflects Palin's viewpoint as well, given that "Mansour serves as Palin's domestic policy adviser and speechwriter. She is a gatekeeper, deciding who gets to see and talk to Palin, and who doesn't. Mansour also maintains Palin's online presence." It certainly sounds like the kind of language Palin would use. Or maybe Mansour has just mastered the obvious. In any event, this episode demonstrates the type of pinheads who Palin surrounds herself with.

You also gotta love the whining wingnuts (no links) who are shocked and dismayed that Tucker Faye Carlson would publish private communications. They have not mastered the obvious.

Libertarian Bedwetter Loses Frivolous Lawsuit

Three years ago, a bunch of wingnut welfare libertarians thought it would be fun to prance around the Jefferson Memorial late at night to celebrate their privileged existence. The U.S. Park Police told the dancing fools to bugger off, but the lead prancer thought the law didn't apply to her. The D.C. Circuit Court of Appeals has just advised her that she is full of shit.

At the time of the arrest, libertarian bloggers engaged in a group whine, and one of the very special libertarians crowed that "given that my friend's immediate social circle is largely composed of journalists, bloggers, and constitutional lawyers who sue the government for fun, I predict hilarity." You were right about that, Julian. The government's cost bill will be a real rib tickler.

And kudos to the Park Police for keeping pests out of our national monuments.

Monday, May 23, 2011

What's Missing From The FOX Narrative?

Hint: In other contexts, FOX can't say the word enough. In this context, FOX won't say it at all.

Calling Jim Hoft retarded is an insult to anyone suffering from mental disabilities.

(Warning: Link to a Dimbart site.)

Reliable Sources

Confidential to the New York Post: Here's how you source a charge of a politician engaging in smear tactics:

Although Palin promised to take the high road in politics, [Frank] Bailey was forced into “an ethical limbo dance” that included making up letters to newspaper editors and signing them with the names of supporters. On another occasion, Bailey and other staffers spent hours voting repeatedly to manipulate a television opinion poll on Palin’s decision to reject part of the federal government’s economic stimulus funding. Bailey also helped smear a neighbor who complained about excessive tourist traffic around the governor’s mansion. After hearing of the gripe, Palin sent her daughter Piper out to sell lemonade and then derided her neighbor for protesting children at play. Soon, the neighbor was portrayed on conservative blogs as “sick,” “unhinged” and “drug-addicted.” “By the time we finished with our politics of destruction, he surely regretted ever mentioning the governor’s name,” Bailey writes. “He learned firsthand why so few people were willing to speak out against Sarah Palin.”

Murdoch Plays the Rubes

Is the Obama campaign trying to dig up dirt on Gov. Kris Krispycreme? The Murdoch Post is pretending that it is:

President Obama's re-election campaign is trying to dig up dirt in the Garden State.

Despite New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie's repeated pronouncements that he will not seek the GOP presidential nomination, Obama operatives are compiling a dossier of what they call "opposition research" -- material that could be used to damage Christie if he changes his mind, The Post has learned.

The Obama campaign is trying to keep its efforts from public view, concerned they would only elevate Christie's already impressive standing within the Republican Party, sources said.

Sources say, the Post has learned. That's proof enough for the usual defects in the wingnutosphere, who take the Australian pornographer at his word. (No links to the morons.) These cretins are particularly incensed that Obama's actually conducting research, which makes them look bad when they simply make shit up about Obama without leaving the comfort of their triple-reinforced Barcoloungers.

Ailes Plays the Rubes

This article portrays the other Roger Ailes as a Republican kingmaker. Let's ask King Rudolph CMXI how that worked out for him.

I'm also suspicious of this set of quotes:

"He thinks things are going in a bad direction," another Republican close to Ailes told me. "Roger is worried about the future of the country. He thinks the election of Obama is a disaster. He thinks Palin is an idiot. He thinks she's stupid. He helped boost her up. People like Sarah Palin haven't elevated the conservative movement."

I'm sure some Republican said that, whether he/she believes it or not. But let me go out on a limb and suggest that Other Ailes thinks the election of Obama was a wonderful thing -- an endless source of phoney baloney controversy to keep his scared, elderly viewers glued to the Fox News Channel through the next commercial break. If Ailes had any interest in elevating the conservative movement, or in the direction of the country, he wouldn't program low-rent drivel and employ all the drivellers he's got on his payroll. The beginning and end of Ailes' interest is more interest in his bank accounts.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Herman Cain's First Major Foreign Policy Speech

"Right of return? No way in hell! It says right on the reciept, 'no refunds.' If I let people return my shitty pizza, I'd be bankrupt."

Grand Old Police Blotter: God, Guns and 'Nuts Edition

It's time to make the bail for a Maine Republican who thinks the law doesn't apply to lawmakers:

WATERVILLE -- A state representative from Garland was arrested Saturday morning for pointing a handgun at a man at point-blank range in a Dunkin' Donuts parking lot.

The legistlator, Republican Frederick L. Wintle, 58, faces a felony charge of criminal threatening with a dangerous weapon and a misdemeanor charge of carrying a concealed weapon for pulling a gun on Morning Sentinel photographer Michael Seamans, of Sidney, in a public area near a busy road.

Over the previous few days, people at the Legislature commented on Wintle's increasingly erratic behavior, and he was kicked out of the hotel at which he was staying in Augusta.

Saturday morning, Wintle started talking to Seamans about the infant that died this week at Mid-Maine Homeless Shelter on Ticonic Street and said he was looking for the mother's drug dealer, according to both Seamans and police.

News reports made no mention of drugs involved in the infant's death and did not reveal the family.

He then pulled a .22-caliber handgun out of his pants waistband and pointed it at Seamans in the Dunkin' Donuts parking lot on Kennedy Memorial Drive.

Apologists for Wintle say he's one of God's chosen legislators:

State Rep. Kenneth Ferdette, R-Newport, District 25, said Saturday he had visited Wintle at the Kennebec County Jail twice after Wintle's arrest Saturday morning. He said he and other friends were trying to arrange bail for his release.

Ferdette, an attorney, agreed that Wintle is a religious person.

"I would certainly characterize Fred as being someone who is religious -- I've attended church with him in Exeter, so he's certainly a religious individual," Ferdette said. "We think it's an unfortunate incident; right now we're just trying to get things sorted out and I have had conversations with different people regarding bail. Certainly we would anticipate that he'd be pleading not guilty."

Athens Selectman Charles Rotondi and his wife, Athens Town Clerk Tracey Rotondi, said Saturday they remember Wintle telling voters during the annual town meeting in March that God had led him to run for public office.

"He made those kinds of references a couple of times," Charles Rotondi said. "I remember that kind of rhetoric, but not word for word; I do remember that he was saying God had brought him to office."

Not guilty by reason of Jesus isn't a plea, Kenny boy.

Mitch Daniels is not running for President because he was raptured last evening.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

I fully endorse a Gingrich/Rove Republican presidential ticket in 2012.  Just think of the bumper sticker.

Newt/Turd '12

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

A Republican Sniffs Out Waste, Fraud and Abuse

"If my colleague from the great State of Louisiana can hold down a job," Sen. Coburn added, "why not this guy?"

Not everyone can find gainful employment as the bagman for a friend making hush money payments in the guise of severance pay, Senator Coburn.

Monday, May 02, 2011

Osama Bin Laden now sleeps with Tim McVeigh and David Koresh. And everyone else. Sorry, but that's how it works.

But it's still a good excuse for a party.
Moral: Don't fuck with a Kenyan.