Friday, October 29, 2004

Retired CBS News political correspondent (a veteran of eight presidential campaigns) and Bruce Springsteen fan, Eric Engberg, passes along this press release:


The decision by Mr. Bruce Springsteen of New Jersey to publicly support the Democratic presidential campaign requires that we rock n' roll veterans step forward to tell the truth about gross fabrications concerning Mr. Springsteen's alleged career in music. As "cool rocking daddies" who were present for all 42,528 performances of the famed "E Street Band," or at least in the same state where the concerts were held, we can assert without qualification that Bruce Springsteen never performed with us. Furthermore, there is even substantial doubt that he can sing at all. While the real E-Street Band toured the nation and recorded countless hit records and CD's, this Springsteen imposter was wasting time racing in the street, stranded in the jungle, looking for work in refineries and taking a piss at fortune's sweet kiss. There is ample documentary evidence to support our charge.

Although he has claimed for himself the title "Boss," members of our organization, who will soon be appearing on Hannity and Colmes and all 6,400 Sinclair Broadcasting Corp. TV stations, have signed affidavits stating that he is not a boss; rather he is unfit to command. Said one member of the E-Street veterans, "Has anyone ever seen him sing? I mean his lips move and noises come out, but can anyone document actual singing?

As they say on Fox, 'You decide.'"


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