Wednesday, January 31, 2007

The Sound Of One Hannity Clapping

In the New York Times, Alessandra Stanley critiques Sean Hannity's first televised visit to a whorehouse, which I alluded to last Sunday:

Underneath the flag-waving swagger, Mr. Hannity’s show is riddled with leftist subliminal suggestion and degrading, un-American images of violence and pornography. Last Sunday Mr. Hannity toured the Bunny Ranch brothel in Nevada and stood over two prostitutes lolling on a bed in skimpy lingerie, their hands placed between their legs, and asked them if they believed in God.

"Every week we will bring you a different side of the country you love," Mr. Hannity promised on the show's premiere on Jan. 7. Mostly, however, he seems to be exposing the worst excesses of godless capitalism.


But the Bunny Ranch visit was the last straw. While Mr. Hannity, who attended Roman Catholic parochial school, interviews scantily clad prostitutes, ostensibly urging them to quit and go to law school, the camera slowly moves from prostitute to prostitute, lasciviously lingering over the one with the largest, most exposed breasts.

"Is it all about the money?" he asks one young woman. "Yes," she replies patiently. "Any job is about the money."

The show was taped several weeks ago, but the prostitutes are still trying to wash the Hannity off of themselves.

I almost feel sorry for the other Roger Ailes. Neil Cavuto and John Gibson have been in his office every day, pitching specials on the peep show industry and begging for rolls of quarters.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Operation Moonshark Edition

The Reverend Sun Myung Moon, convicted tax criminal and the man Wes Pruden and Fran Coombs call both "God" and "Daddy," has been caught violating United States law again, according to Moon's co-conspirator, the Reverend Kevin Thompson:

The pastor of the Bay Area Family Church in San Leandro [Thompson] confessed to investigators almost immediately after he was caught, telling them that he and a few of his congregants had been hauling baby leopard sharks out of San Francisco Bay for more than fifteen years. Pet dealers from around the world paid handsomely for the beautiful and exotic fish and sold them to people for their home aquariums. One of Thompson's followers estimated they had hooked more than six thousand shark pups in all; the feds pegged the street value of the local church's operation at $1.2 million.

From the get-go, however, Special Agent Roy Torres of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration uncovered evidence that the shark ring extended beyond Thompson. Among his more telling discoveries was the close tie between the pastor and True World Foods, the nation's largest supplier of sushi-grade fish. Moon's followers launched True World in the 1980s after the church leader issued a series of lectures, extolling the virtues of fishing. While Moon's followers call him "True Father," he calls himself "King of the Ocean."


None of this circumstantial evidence, most of which Torres detailed in federal court records, established a direct link between Thompson's sharks and the King of the Ocean. But the pastor voluntarily made that link himself. In a 2003 sermon captured on audiotape, Thompson said he personally informed the True Father about the shark enterprise. "When I had the chance to tell our founder Reverend Moon about it ... he told me, you know, 'You need twenty boats out there fishing!'" he boasted. "He had this big plan drawn out, you know." Thompson, a Brit who speaks with a Scottish accent, also said he had to convince the excited Moon not to expand the operation, apparently out of fear that it would attract notice.

With this evidence, if the Feds decline to issue a warrant for Moon's arrest and demand extradition, the only rational conclusion is that the Bush Administration had given the edict not to pursue the messianic malefactor. But I'm not holding my breath. It wouldn't be the first time wingnut welfare trumped American justice.

The incriminating audio is here.

(Thanks to my reader for the tip.)

Sunday, January 28, 2007

We Want Pre Nupt

Marty "The Wedding Singer" Peretz's fascination with the financial side of marriage surfaces once again:

Why doesn't Jane just retire from the business of giving the American people moral advice? She could live on the millions in royalties from her 23 exercise videos and God only knows how much Ted Turner gave her in alimony.

It's $80 million, Marty. But you don't have to call me G-d.

I Fart Huckabees

Who said this blog isn't classy?

It was a television moment that will long be remembered, Mike Huckabee's appearance on Press the Meat. Let's go to the videotape:

TIM RUSSERT (R-NY): ....But first, the 2008 race for the White House has begun. Sixteen candidates have already formed presidential committees. And this morning, it’s decision time for our guest, the former Republican governor of Arkansas, Mike Huckabee. Governor, welcome.

FMR. GOV. MIKE HUCKABEE (R-AR): Thank you very much, Tim.

MR. RUSSERT: Are you running for president of the United States?

GOV. HUCKABEE: No, Tim. I'm not.


GOV. HUCKABEE: Why what?

MR. RUSSERT: Why are you running for president?

GOV. HUCKABEE: I'm not running for president.


GOV. HUCKABEE: I'm said, I'm not running for president.

MR. RUSSERT: You're not running... That's not what it says here. What the [bleep] are you doing here then? I cancelled a fluff for the Vice President for you.

GOV. HUCKABEE: So, Tim, how does it feel to be a material witness in a criminal trial?

MR. RUSSERT: (head visibly swelling) Jaisus, Mary and Joseph! Get your [bleeping] ass off my set! Who the Christ Almighty booked this [bleep]ing [bleep]? Who the [bleep] is next week's guest, Tom [bleep]ing Tancredo? That fecking Mormon [bleep]er?!? Jaisus Haitch Christmas on a cracker. Cut the camera. Saints [bleep]ing Preserve Us!

Okay, not exactly.

The reality was worse:

MR. RUSSERT: Let me ask you about a controversial aspect of your governorship. Wayne Dumond...


MR. RUSSERT: ...a rapist who was convicted, sentenced in Arkansas, the parole board voted not to parole him in September of -- in August of '96. You announced that you were going to commute his sentence, and then the parole board reversed course and agreed to parole him, and you supported their decision to parole. He was, was freed, left the state, killed and raped someone else in Missouri. Do you regret supporting that parole?

GOV. HUCKABEE: You know, looking back, certainly I wish that I had known more than I knew, but here's what I knew: I never commuted his sentence; his sentence was commuted by my predecessor. When he was parole elibigle, he had not yet made parole. And I supported that he was parole-eligible. Later, the parole board did, in fact, give him their parole, supervised.

MR. RUSSERT: Did you talk to the parole board?

GOV. HUCKABEE: I did. But it wasn't about Wayne Dumond. I went there, even though there are some tabloid reports that tried to make it that I did, I went there to get acquainted with them because I hadn't appointed any of them. Out of all...

MR. RUSSERT: You never mentioned Wayne Dumond?

GOV. HUCKABEE: No, they brought it up to me. And, of course...

MR. RUSSERT: So you did talk to the board about him?

GOV. HUCKABEE: Only thing I said was this: They asked me did I think that he should be paroled, or something to that effect, and I simply said, "I think that his case has got to be given, you know, a serious look." What he apparently did when he left was horrible, Tim. But, you know, the issue is, he is a person who did a horrible thing before and after. I think all of us regret and have deep, deep, painful thoughts that someone could do something like this.

Now that's stupid even for a Republican.

Two other television highlights from today: Sean Hannity's America stops at a whorehouse, this time with a camera crew (no link); and "Doctor" Frank Luntz on After Words, expounding on how nasty blogs are, "especially those on the left." Hey, Frank. Fuck you and the toupee that rid in on you.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Scooter Libby is a real mensch:

[Cathie Martin] recounted a senior staff meeting at the White House in which Stephen J. Hadley, the deputy national security adviser, expressed anger after receiving a query from Andrea Mitchell of NBC. Ms. Mitchell had heard that the White House was blaming the C.I.A. for causing the president to inaccurately say in his State of the Union address that the British government had confirmed Iraq's efforts to buy uranium in Africa.

Ms. Martin made it clear earlier on Thursday that it was Mr. Libby who had gone out of his way to take on the task of speaking to Ms. Mitchell about that issue.

But at the July meeting in the White House, she said, Mr. Hadley made a point of turning around and looking directly at her as if to signify he knew she was Ms. Mitchell's source.

Ms. Martin was asked by Patrick J. Fitzgerald, the prosecutor, whether she was, in fact, the source.

"No," she said.

Mr. Fitzgerald asked what Mr. Libby was doing when Mr. Hadley was all but accusing her.

"He was looking down at the floor," she said.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

And All The Crow You Can Eat

Perhaps I was too hasty in bashing Marty Peretz. I fear I've blown my big chance to snag a coveted dogsboy slot at TNR:


THE NEW REPUBLIC is looking for reporter-researchers for the 2007-2008 internship program. Job duties include reporting, research, and fact-checking for TNR and TNR Online stories, formatting articles and blog posts for the Web, and occasional clerical tasks. Reporter-researchers get to work with writers, editors, and have an open invitation to pitch magazine or Web articles. Political journalism experience is preferred (but not imperative); fluency with LexisNexis and other search techniques is mandatory. The yearlong job begins in late summer 2007 and pays $264 (plus substantial overtime) per week with health insurance.

If I suggest replacing "fluency with LexisNexis" to "proficiency with LexisNexis," can I have an editor's job?

On the other hand, it's nice to see TNR fill Peter Beinart's job while he's serving in Iraq.

Desperate Housewives

Marty "The Wedding Singer" Peretz is getting quite catty. Last night, the Harvard hairless hissed:

John Forbes Kerry is not running for president, and that's because no one was following him in his race. Well, maybe Teresa. But maybe not.

No such trouble for Marty. When he's kept, he stays kept!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Well, I certainly didn't vote for failure, but there he was on my radio, giving the State of the Union Address.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Write Your Own Joke

Current top "Latest News" headline on

CNN Hummer: $1.25M for charity

Howard Kurtz, Illiterate Hack

Howard Kurtz has a problem with the First Amendment. He's never read it.

On this morning's Reliable Republicans, Kurtz interviewed Mike Stark of Calling All Wingnuts about Spocko's brilliant campaign to expose KSFO's brand of bargain-basement bigotry to unsuspecting ad buyers. At one point, Kurtz said to Stark, as a statement not a question,

"but you seem to have a problem with the First Amendment."

Yes, a media critic who doesn't understand the First Amendement. Of course, Stark, a citizen holding no political office, couldn't violate the First Amendment if he tried. And Stark didn't call upon the government to silence KKKSFO. But for Kurtz, the mere act of criticizing the haters who call for the murder of Nancy Pelosi, Bill Keller and millions of Muslims is not an act of free speech but a violation of the constitution.

To be fair, Howie did select Fred Flintstone to provide the counterpoint to Stark. But since Howie was making all the points Fred couldn't manage to spit out, Fred was superfluous.

(Link to transcript when it becomes available.)

Update: Link added above. The exact quote was "you seem to have a problem with the First Amendment," not "It seems to me that you have a problem with the First Amendment." Same thing.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Hope Is Not A Platform

I didn't an e-mail from his staff, but since Senator Sam Brownback (R-KS) also announced his Presidential candidacy today, I thought I'd give him some of the spotlight too. Here's Sam on Iraq:

After my recent trip to Iraq, I am even more convinced that the situation there is precarious, but hopeful. I see hope in the Iraqi people. I believe this hope will be the foundation of a new Iraqi society. Much remains to be done, and I think we need a plan to turn this country over to its citizens. I will continue to work with the leaders in our country, as well as leaders in Iraq, to find a solution that protects the future of Iraq, and the pride and dignity of its citizens.

Profound. If the G.O.P. nomination eludes Sam's grasp, there's always the Miss America Pageant.

Socks and The Nazi

TNR sock monster sprezzatura has reemerged in the pages of The New York Times Book Review, penning a long-ass review of Norman Mailer's novel The Sex Life of Adolf H.. Scenes from Mailer's opus deemed worthy of analysis include the following:

After (unforgettably described) sex with Adolf's future father, Alois Schicklgruber, Hitler's future mother, Klara Poelzl, experiences a guilt that is "as heavy as a waterlogged tree."

In a travesty of nature and procreation, the young Adolf Hitler likes to masturbate on leaves.

Somewhere along the line, Dieter remarks on "that curious human nature, which forces its way into existence between the hazards of urine and excrement, yet will later dream each night of a noble life." Inter faeces et urinam, another of this novel’s themes, is a further twist on "nakedness" and on mortal helplessness.

.... Adolf, whose onanistic sessions are like "being shot out of his own cannon."

In the midst of the review, sprezzatura returns to a favorite theme:

Ours is an age of mockery and sarcasm, when even irony is belittled for being secretly sincere about its lack of conviction.

Mockery, sockery! If you write about Hitler beating off as lit-ra-chure, you've got to expect to some snark.

The Power Broker

Top Democratic Presidential hopefuls are personally having their staffers vie for the Roger Ailes endorsement in the all-important Roger Ailes Primary. They know this blog can deliver more than 1,200 of the smartest and most civic-minded blog readers on a daily basis. (1,201 to be precise.)

Here's a personal invitation I recieved just this morning from my close personal friend, Peter Daou:

I wanted to personally invite you to visit and view Sen. Clinton's announcement that she will form an exploratory committee to run for President. And I'd like to invite you to join the senator for a live conversation with America – an unprecedented series of video webcasts beginning Monday, January 22nd at 7pm EST for three nights. We are also asking people to submit posts in preparation for the upcoming launch of the official campaign blog – one entry will be selected as our first guest post.

As you may know, I've been communicating with bloggers and online activists on behalf of Sen. Clinton since last summer and I'd like to extend an invitation to you to contact me directly with any feedback, questions, comments, criticisms, compliments, or anything else you'd like to tell the campaign as we move forward.

I can be reached here: [gmail address removed to prevent spamming]

I'd also like to say that I'm excited to be working with several colleagues who you may be familiar with: Judd Legum (who will be the campaign's research director), Crystal Patterson, and Jesse Berney.

I look forward to hearing from you…



P.S. Please feel free to pass this along to fellow bloggers.

The ball's in your court, Senator Dodd.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Racist Profiling

Wide-load bigot Jonah Goldberg is so filled with hate that he can't be bothered with the facts:

Re: The Flying Imams: [Jonah Goldberg]

My apologies. Earlier this morning — pre-coffee - I posted about how the Flying Imams would get a refund. I was wrong entirely and utterly, misreading the article and the email in which it was forwarded. It was a different group of Muslims, on a different airline. Rather than foment more confusion, I took the post down. Again, I regret the stupidity on my part.

Hate is the default setting on Goldberg's dessicated brain. The Los Angeles Times must be very proud.

If anyone's got a copy of the deleted post, let me know. It must have been quite vile for the pantload to run from it so fast.

Here's the story the pantload couldn't bother to read. Different continent, different destination, different circumstances, different date, different everything. But to Goldberg, they all look alike.

Value Subtracted

The flip-flopping Tool, Scott Johnson, was for the slander before he was against it.

Scott "Not Asssocket" Johnson is counselling caution concerning Neal Sher's smear of former President Jimmy Carter. (See below.) "No story should be accepted based on Sher's word alone," declares the newly-prudent prat.

Which is funny, considering Johnson was pimping "Sher's invaluable recollection" based on Sher's word alone just two weeks ago. The price of a Sher has fallen almost faster than Powerline's credibility.

Warren Bass on Dickless D'Souza:

D'Souza, the author of the bestselling Illiberal Education, has no particular expertise on terrorism, which may explain why he writes twice that there are U.S. troops in Mecca (someone should probably alert Bob Gates) or why he thinks that President Reagan's 1986 airstrikes on Libya "convinced Qadafi to retire from the terrorism trade," despite the bombing of Pan Am 103 by Libyan agents two years later. But D'Souza's inexperience doesn't explain why he so badly misreads bin Ladenist ideology, despite the peppering of jihadist quotes that he uses to lend the book a sense of authority.

Is there any amount of incompetence of dishonesty which will deny a book contract to a right-winger? The publisher of this crap isn't WorldNutDaily or some Scaife whorehouse, it's Doubleday.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Radio Kills

Jennifer Strange, a mother of three from suburban Rancho Cordova, died last Friday of apparent water intoxication just hours after a failed bid to win a Nintendo Wii video-game system for her kids in a promotion dubbed "Hold Your Pee for a Wii."


A tape of the program, known as the "Morning Rave" on KDND-FM (107.9) "The End," reveals that the potential fatal effects of drinking too much water were raised during the course of the contest, with one on-air host mentioning the 2005 death of a college student during a hazing ritual in Chico. A listener also called in to advise against the stunt.

Strange -- one of 20 contestants -- initially joked lightheartedly with the show hosts as she and the rest chugged bottled water. But as the hours wore on, it came down to Strange and one other woman for the grand prize, and she admitted to having a splitting headache and feeling wobbly. Strange quipped on air that "it looks like I'm pregnant again."


A preliminary review by the coroner found she likely died of water intoxication, also called hyperhydration. People who drink too much water too fast can dilute their bodily fluids, creating potentially deadly shifts in their electrolyte levels.


Officials at Entercom Communications Corp., the station's Philadelphia-based owner, fired 10 people from KDND on Tuesday, including station manager Steve Weed, promotions chief Robin Pechota, producer Liz Diaz and the five on-air personalities involved in the show -- Adam Cox, Steve Maney, Patricia Sweet, Matt Carter and Pete Inzerillo. None returned calls for comment.

Alberto Gonzales has already offered them jobs at Bush Justice.

Here's some of the wacky radio banter soon to be known as Exhibit "A":

Female caller named Eva: "I want to say that, um, that those people that are drinking all that water can get sick and possibly die from water intoxication." DJ: "We're aware of that." DJ: "They signed releases, so we're not responsible. It's OK."

Sher and Smear Alike

Various wingnuts are drooling over the allegation in this article claiming that then-former President Carter allegedly requested leniency for a Nazi war criminal living in the United States.

Here's what we know about the accuser:

Now, the 56-year-old [Neal] Sher is unemployed. And, on Aug. 28, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit stripped him of his D.C. law license. The move comes roughly one year after Sher conceded he had made "unauthorized reimbursements" of travel expenses from the International Commission on Holocaust Era Insurance Claims, where he served as its chief of staff. He resigned from that position in June 2002.


In 1998, several European insurance companies reached an agreement with Holocaust survivor groups, state insurance commissioners and the Israeli government to pay the families of Holocaust victims, who had earlier been denied insurance benefits. The insurance companies pledged millions of dollars, and the International Commission on Holocaust Era Insurance Claims was created to help evaluate claims and disburse the money. Sher was hired as its chief of staff.

The commission came under fire early on for taking too long to process claims and for its refusal to make its finances public. In May 2001, the Los Angeles Times, citing internal commission documents, claimed that the commission had spent $30 million on salaries and outreach efforts, while paying out just $3 million. Later that year, a House committee held hearings at which Rep. Henry Waxman, D-Calif., threatened to subpoena commission records. Commission Chairman Eagleburger, however, maintained that Congress had no authority over the group.


Two and a half months after the divorce was filed, The Baltimore Sun published a lengthy investigative article on the commission's expenditures. The article, which relied upon internal commission documents, reported that Sher had claimed to spend $136,653 in travel expenses in 1999. The article stated that the airfare alone for trips to Rome and Berlin often was $5,000 or more per trip. The article also noted that Sher had quit the commission just a few weeks prior to the article's publication.

Some details about what happened between Sher and the commission are still unclear. Eagleburger, in his statement to Legal Times, said that Sher was placed on administrative leave after admitting to the improper travel expense reimbursements. The commission's outside counsel, Thomas Howard of the D.C. office of Ballard Spahr Andrews & Ingersoll, conducted an internal investigation. Howard's findings were then reviewed by one-time FBI director and former federal Judge William Webster III of the D.C. office of Milbank, Tweed, Hadley & McCloy. Sher paid back the commission, including the money it cost for the group to conduct the inquiry, and quietly resigned. According to Eagleburger, Webster recommended that no further action be taken.

Let's look closer:

However, the respondent [Neal Sher] admitted in his affidavit of consent to disbarment, which was annexed to the petitioner's notice pursuant to 22 NYCRR 691.3, that on 20 occasions between August 1999 and March 2002, while serving as the chief of staff and chief counsel to the ICHEIC, he filed claims for reimbursement which contained deliberately inflated statements regarding expenses incurred for air travel. The respondent admitted retaining $106,426.53. This sum was the difference in the price of coach class airfares that he actually purchased, as opposed to business class fares that he submitted as claims for reimbursements and which he was authorized to purchase, but did not.


Based on the evidence adduced, the motion and cross motion are granted to the extent that the Special Referee's report is confirmed. Notwithstanding the mitigation advanced by the respondent and the remorse expressed, he is guilty of serious professional misconduct which involves dishonesty, fraud, deceit, and misrepresentation. This misconduct warrants a one-year suspension.

Stealing from a Holocaust survivors' compensation fund. Dishonesty, fraud, deceit and misrepresentation.

Being a wingnut means never having to say you're a gullible dipshit.

Republican Idol

It looks like there's a three-way race for the quintessential Alan Keyes podium at the G.O.P. presidential debates:

Nobody seems very sure why Rep. Tom Tancredo (R-Colo.), the anti-immigration crusader, has thrown his hat in the ring for the presidency. No one believes he can win. A key lesson of 2006 is that the immigration issue is not an automatic winner for Republicans, and Tancredo is also not expected to raise the kind of money needed for a serious race. Many also believed that he would stay out after Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-Calif.) announced his candidacy, since that put an immigration hawk in the race. But in fact, Duncan's presence in the race had less effect on Tancredo than the decision of libertarian Rep. Ron Paul (R-Tex.) to seek the nomination.

Tancredo got in anyway. He won't have the immigration issue to himself, but as long as he stays in, he may have to himself the anti-Bush mantle in the GOP primary. It is not expected that any of the other candidates (except maybe Paul) will denounce Bush for the GOP's decline, as Tancredo did Tuesday in an appearance on Tucker Carlson's afternoon program.

Of course, the inclusion of these loons will allow the G.O.P. and its media allies to claim that the party's more-polished loons, Willard Romney and John of Arc, are middle-of-the-roaders. But these chumps don't even have the amusement potential of Steve Forbes or Gary Bauer. Come back, George Allen, your party needs you.

(Quote from Novakula, click here at your own risk.)

Some Gave None

At last, someone has discovered the substantial personal price that "Doctor" Condoleezza Rice has made in re: Iraq. Debb Saunders has the details:

Actually, Rice is paying a personal price. She has not lost a son, but Rice has had to live with whatever policy mistakes she helped make, and she has put her life at risk when visiting Iraq.

Kind of like those doctors who kill so many patients they have to live with added malpractice premiums. Of course, Condi gets to live with the mistakes she made, while those on the recieving end of Condi's mistakes don't have that burden at all. They should be thanking Condi, those decomposing ingrates.

The rest of Debb's column contains not only the usual clownish distortion of Boxer's remarks, but also manufactures an entire new army of strawmen which have nothing to do with Boxer's remarks. Saunders quotes Faux journalist David Assman, who criticizes those who call U.S. soliders "kids" (which Boxer didn't do), a solider's mother who says Boxer doesn't speak for her (which Boxer didn't claim to do) and the mother of a deceased solider who's pissed off she doesn't get as much teevee time as Cindy Sheehan.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Soup Nazis

When I first heard the rumors about Hot Soup and its high-minded malarkey, I thought they must have been some alcohol-induced hallucination. Which was odd, because I haven't taken a drink in years.

But apparently Hot Soup exists. Julia has the details on Hot Soup's Gerald Ford Challenge(TM), which reads as follows:

In honor of Gerald Ford, his decency, and the tremendous sacrifices he made to heal this country at a time of division, I pledge to spend 2007 working towards a similar depolarization – by cooperating with peers from opposing camps, by putting my countrymen's needs before my party's, and by making sacrifices if necessary. We stand stronger when united, and I pledge to lead my country by good example, just as I have been led by Gerald Ford's good example. I pledge to spend 2007 working towards that strong unity, and I dedicate that work to Gerald Ford's memory.

I don't have any great dislike for Ford, but the legacy of Gerald Ford is not a legacy of putting his countrymen's needs before his party's or making sacrifices. The Nixon pardon was what the Republican Party needed, not what the country needed, no matter how many thousands of Beltway monkeys type that line for a thousand years. Ford may have sacrificed his own chance to be elected President (which were non-existent at best before he was named V.P.), but his pardon immunized the Republican Party from the disclosure that its corruption was party-wide and deep, and not localized to the White House.

As for Hot Soup, I don't need a bunch of p.r. firm whores to tell me how to think about America. Those clowns wouldn't know sacrifice if it was rammed up their expense-account-padded fat asses.

Right now on Hot Soup (no link for you!) such unity-minded, self-abnegating non-partisans as Newt Gingrich and Mary Matalin are addressing the pressing issue of what they would do if Bill Gates gave them $10 billion dollars. (Playing along, Newtie and the Beast don't mention their dream of a privately-funded nuclear annihilation of Teheran.) For the Soup Nazis, partisanship is a character deficit exclusive to those you don't break cocktail weenies with.


Today on Press The Meat, Pumpkinhead Russert repeated the slander that Joe Lieberman (Me-CT) is a Democrat.

Lieberman repeated the slander that anyone who opposes the escalation is a 9/11-terrorist-loving loser. Oh, and he's supporting the escalation for his children and his grandchilden, apparently because they're too busy to do it themselves.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Three Generations of Imbeciles Are Enough

Jason Zengerle doesn't just wax moronic when he's defending Joek Lein. Here's Jay-Zzzz's fascinating blog scoop of today's date:

Lest debate over the surge cause Congress to take its eye off the truly important things, Republican Senator Kit Bond of Missouri introduced S.247 yesterday. Its title:

A bill to designate the United States courthouse located at 555 Independence Street, Cape Girardeau, Missouri, as the "Rush Hudson Limbaugh, Sr. United States Courthouse".

Rush Limbaugh Courthouse?! Evidently Rush Jr--the one of reptilian radio fame--was born to a prominent Missouri lawyer who practiced until his death, at 104, in 1996. But still: the Rush Limbaugh Courthouse?! Please don't tell me Hannity's father was a lawyer, too.

Evidently not. Rush Jnr. was the father of Rush III, the one of hate radio, boner pill and pain pill abuse fame. If Rush Snr., born in 1891, was the father of Big Pharma, born in 1951, then there was some sick shit going down in Cape Girardeau a half-decade ago, namely, a 60-year old man was impregnating his son's wife.

On the other hand, that could explain everything.

Including Fredo.

Update: At the risk of engendering phoney baloney outrage, I'll hazard that the chances of a Rush Limbaugh IV are fat and none.

Spikey Mikey Rides Again

Lucianne's lapdog, Mike Isikoff, hasn't been paying much attention to politics the last seven months or so. Today*, he and Mark Hosenball write:

Jan. 11, 2007 - Sen. Joe Lieberman, the only Democrat to endorse President Bush's new plan for Iraq, has quietly backed away from his pre-election demands that the White House turn over potentially embarrassing documents relating to its handling of the Hurricane Katrina disaster in New Orleans.

Later in the article:

Still, Lieberman’s more accommodating position is likely get more attention, especially because of the Connecticut Democrat's increasingly close relationship with the White House.

Maybe Spikey's been bamboozled by the Bushit Moose, who he quotes in the article:

Wittmann says Lieberman is trying to take on the role that Henry (Scoop) Jackson played in the 1960s and 1970s -- a tough "national security" Senate Democrat who was willing to cross party lines to work closely with Republican presidents like Richard Nixon and Gerald Ford. "That's the tradition he is following," Wittmann said.

The article is important because it shows that Lieberman lied to Connecticut voters about holding Bush accountable for his monumental mishandling of Katrina. Also significant is the statement from Lieberman's flack that Holy Joe "answers only to the people who elected him to office and to his own conscience." Shorter Joe: Fuck you, Connecticut.

* The article is dated January 11, but was purportedly "Updated: 36 minutes ago."

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Roger's Medical Corner

Good news for everyone but Mickey Kaus. Senator Tim Johnson (D-SD) is continuing to recover from his recent brain hemorrhage:

WASHINGTON — Sen. Tim Johnson has been transferred out of intensive care and has said some words, his doctor said Thursday, nearly a month after the South Dakota Democrat suffered a brain hemorrhage.

An MRI on Wednesday showed the speech centers in the senator's brain were spared injury in the initial hemorrhage Dec. 13, said Johnson's neurosurgeon, Dr. Vivek Deshmukh.

"This is confirmed by the fact that he is following commands and has started to say words," Deshmukh said in a written statement released by Johnson's office.

Things To Do In Denver When You're Dem

The New York Times is reporting that Howard Dean has selected Denver as the site of the 2008 Democratic Party Convention.

The Republican convention will be held in either Salt Lake City or up George Bush's ass, depending on whether Willard Romney or John McCain is the nominee.

This is good news for us West Coast rappers, even though Dean passed over the most appropriate choice, San Francisco. The 3,000 mile trip and thin air will render the Beltway pundits more disoriented than usual. Me, I'm already polishing up my resume to snag one of those all-access blogger credentials.

Surge Overkill

Meanwhile, here's how seriously the right takes the escalation:

Joementum! [Kathryn Jean Lopez]

Senator Lieberman was the only senator who gets mentioned in the president's speech. If this surge works he can take credit and run for president as a third-party candidate.

As much as I love kicking Joe Lieberman around, I don't think it's worth the inevitable costs of escalation just to provide me with easy targets.

And Joe would never run as an independent; a McCain co-presidency is the only job he'll consider.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Chesty Morons

That about sums up JoeK lein and Jason Zengerle, the big swinging tits of the Serious, Responsible Democrat Brigade.

Of course, it all started with JoeK strapping on the posing pouch and posing this poser:

And so a challenge to those who slagged me in their comments. Can you honestly say the following:

Even though I disagree with this escalation, I am hoping that General Petraeus succeeds in calming down Baghdad.

That was fun.

Now let's try these -- agree or disagree?

Even though I disagree with this escalation, I am hoping that General Petraeus succeeds in calming down Baghdad at the cost of 3,000 more American lives.

Even though I disagree with this escalation, I am hoping that General Petraeus succeeds in calming down Baghdad at the cost of 40,000 more Iraqi lives.

Even though I disagree with this escalation, I am hoping that General Petraeus succeeds in calming down Baghdad, even if it means redeploying troops from Afghanistan.

Even though I disagree with this escalation, I am hoping that General Petraeus succeeds in calming down Baghdad at a cost of another $300 billion and the consequences to the U.S. economy which will result.

Start playing in the real world, JoeK. The "unserious" Democrats and lefties to whom you ascribe impure thoughts and motives are not rejecting a new Garden of Eden in order to deny Bush a victory lap, they're opposing the real-life consequences of a real war strategy. Even if you assume the Bush Administration could actually implement a strategy successfully (and why would you?) and that this strategy in particular could succeed, you can't pretend the strategy won't have substantial costs.

Now let's try this one -- agree or disagree?

Even though I disagree with this escalation, I am hoping that General Petraeus succeeds so my irrational hatred of the anti-war left is vindicated, at least in my overheated imagination.

Well, do you, punk?

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Is the Scooter Libby Legal Defense Trust trying to bamboozle visitors to its website into thinking that Dick Cheney is making a personal plea for contributions to Scooter's defense fund?

At the top of the Trust's petition webpage, you see the following quote:

Scooter Libby is one of the most capable and and talented individuals I have ever known -- Vice President Dick Cheney
(Not the kind of guy who would make a mistake under oath, is that what you're saying, Dick?)

Beneath the quote is a bar with various site links ("Home," "About the Trust," etc.). Immediately beneath that, the text continues:

For five years, Scooter Libby served in the White House as one of the finest public servants. Recent press revelations regarding the CIA leak investigation have once again reminded us of the grave injustice done to my friend, Scooter. We now know who disclosed the identity of Valerie Plame. We now know that Scooter had nothing to do with it. And we now know that the special prosecutor has known this all along, but asked the true leaker to keep quiet.

Please sign the petition below and show your support of Scooter Libby.

The latter paragraphs aren't attributed to anyone, although they're written in personal, first person terms ("my friend," "we know"). Of course, when you sign the "petition," you're transferred to a page requesting contributions.

I'd bet a great many people reading that page would think the entire text is a personal solicitation from Dead-Soul Dick. Hell, it could be for all I know. So is Dick actually panhandling for the sleazy smear merchant, or is the Trust simply trying to swindle the chumps with a misleading text?

p.s. -- What ever you do, don't sign the petition as Mike Hunt or Judy Miller or Joe Lieberman. Show some creativity!

p.p.s. -- Even death hasn't diminished Jeane Kirkpatrick's support for Scooter.

p.p.p.s. -- If you feel like you need a shower after viewing the Trust's Advisory Board, this might be your best disinfectant.

Rice Farmer?

Is Condi going back to Stanford, where it doesn't matter how much she lies and fucks things up? The Provost spot is filled, but I hear there's an opening for tree mascot.

(via TPM)

Hack Offs

Last night, Johnny Assrocket was screeching hysterically about how Time Magazine's Blog-of-the-Year had been hacked, resulting in the destruction of a day's worth of his pearls of wisdom. The righteous ass vowed to "criminally prosecute[]" the evildoers responsible. He also simperingly gave "[t]hanks to the many readers who have expressed their concern," and urged his readers to congregate at the Powertools News bulletin board so they could "heap abuse on the moron who hacked us."

At the bulletin board, various toolsuckers postulated that "some moonbat from Democratic Underground is responsible," that "someone who could do something like this could do a huge amount of damage to infrastructure, if they were given guidance on what to hit," and that "it takes some degree of intellect to hack a site like Power Line." It was also suggested that the hack was a testament to the popularity and influence of the Tools.

You're already ahead of me.

Yes, the moron was Paul.

Fortunately, Paul confessed before Assrocket could blame the hack on the AP, or House Democrats or Dan Rather. Stupidty got you into this mess, John, but stupidity can't get you out.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Time For Another Edition Of Inbred Hillbilly Law School

Glenn Greenwald (of the American Conservative!) has a fact-filled post about the Never-Right Wing of the blogosphere.

Meanwhile, inbred Republican Glenn Reynolds engages yet again in his habit of linking without thinking.

January 05, 2007

PELOSI'S APPROVAL RATING: lower than Bush's? You wouldn't know that from the press coverage.

UPDATE: Eugene Volokh notes that things aren't quite as close as they appear. He's right to note that, and I should have followed the links myself. I'm guessing, though, that these numbers would be getting a lot more press attention anyway if the party affiliations were reversed.

Damn that nasty "MSM" for downplaying imaginary facts. Why must they conspire to ignore Reynolds' sad delusions?

P.S. Mark Kleiman has the details, not just the gratuitous insults.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Wingnut Welfare Reform

Is Wesley Pruden being shipped off involuntarily to the Old Lynchers' Home? This Washington Post online column says the second-generation bigot is slated to be shit-Klanned before summer:

A widely respected former reporter for the [Moonie] Times, George Archibald, has come forward with a detailed look at the power struggle within the paper's newsroom. Archibald portrays the battle as one "between Washington Times Corp. CEO Dong Monn [sic] (Douglas) Joo, who is the Reverend Moon's Korean translator in many venues and has been his go-fer for many years, and the reverend's youngest son, Preston Moon, an MBA graduate of Harvard, who has been anointed by his father as corporate successor."

Archibald sees editorial control of the paper shifting this coming spring: He says Preston Moon's plan is to "oust Joo as CEO of The Washington Times Corp., force [longtime editor in chief Wesley] Pruden's retirement no later that the 25th anniversary of The Washington Times on May 17, 2007, and hire a successor to Pruden as TWT editor-in-chief...."

I guess Preston doesn't like seeing his family's millions being flushed down a literal toilet. If true, this means one less right-wing subsidy for Francis the Talking Kluxer and his vile wife, Klanette. That would be a crying shame.

The two scroungy-bearded faces of Michael Ledeen.

I guess Simone changed her mind about that job of fucking up Tehran.

Mikey better get busy forging more documents if he really wants a new war.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Are photo editors just choosing different shots, or has Mickey Kaus changed his appearance? I can't figure it out. In this picture for example, he seems almost unrecognizable, based on the photos I've seen previously. But some old photos of him look similar. ... 4:40 P.M.

Triumph Of The Wingnutosphere

Many wingnuts with immense holes in their pathetic little souls have just been reamed a new one:

BAGHDAD, Iraq - The Interior Ministry acknowledged Thursday that an Iraqi police officer whose existence had been denied by the Iraqis and the U.S. military is in fact an active member of the force, and said he now faces arrest for speaking to the media.

Ministry spokesman Brig. Abdul-Karim Khalaf, who had previously denied there was any such police employee as Capt. Jamil Hussein, said in an interview that Hussein is an officer assigned to the Khadra police station, as had been reported by The Associated Press.

The captain, whose full name is Jamil Gholaiem Hussein, was one of the sources for an AP story in late November about the burning and shooting of six people during a sectarian attack at a Sunni mosque.

On the bright side, you can't lose credibility when you never had any.

I'd hate to be the spouse or small child of one of our wingnut friends tonight. There isn't enough Placidyl in the world, or in William Rehnquist's corpse for that matter, to quell those looneys' rage right now.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Grand Old Police Blotter: No Honor Among Theives Edition

Some GOPer has stolen a play from George Will's play-stealing playbook and stolen Rudy Guiliani's playbook. And Rudy's calling it a crime:

A Giuliani spokeswoman, Sunny Mindel, said yesterday that the document belonged to a staff member and did not reflect official strategy, but "simply someone's ideas which were committed to paper over three months ago." Ms. Mindel said the document was apparently stolen from a piece of luggage during a Giuliani political trip last fall, then photocopied and replaced in the luggage. Ms. Mindel said she did not know if her office would seek a criminal investigation of the alleged theft.

The public disclosure of the document is potentially damaging for Mr. Giuliani, not least because since 9/11, he has built a business as a private consultant on security issues while creating an image as a political leader capable of combating terrorism. Indeed, an adviser to one of his possible rivals in 2008, Senator John McCain of Arizona, half-joked yesterday that it was interesting that Mr. Giuliani's businesses included security consulting.

This theft should be prosecuted and the thief sentenced to prison, whether the crime was committed by a representative of John McCain, a staffer of Willard Romney or Duncan Hunter himself.

Coward Kurtz Licks His Master's Ass

CNN rent boy Howard Putz swallows hard for his patron on the subject of its "Where's Obama" graphic:

It was an embarrassing mistake, but obviously an inadvertent mistake made by some staffer in the control room.

And why is it obvious that the slander was an "inadvertent mistake?" Howad doesn't say, and surely he doesn't know. This wasn't just a Chyron at the bottom of the screen, but an integrated part of a full-screen graphic with a photograph of bin Laden. But Kuntz is too busy covering his employer's ass to bother with the truth, and too lazy to search for it.

I doubt the Putz would be so sanguine about a graphic of President Lush.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Sacrifice Watch

If Bush in fact makes "sacrifice" the theme of his foolish escalation of the Iraq debacle, I'm going to start a regular feature highlighting the sacrifices made -- or not made -- by the debacle's supporters. If their Commander-in-Chief invokes the duty to sacrifice, how can they reject the call?

I'll start, I think, with these folks.

He Didn't Say It

Republican Midget Mickey Kaus, still working off of Mel Martinez' 2005 talking points, fantasizes about Tim Noah's testicles:

He said it: Only Slate's Tim Noah, however, has had the balls to prematurely speculate about a partisan Schiavo do-si-do in which Tom DeLay suddenly realizes that 'quality of life' is what counts, while Democrats discover that maybe the Schiavo conservatives had a point. ... 2:35 P.M.

In fact, if you click on the link, Noah says nothing about Democrats, or partisans, or a do-si-do at all. What Noah says is:

I heartily endorse DeLay's good wishes. But the political scenarist in me can't suppress curiosity about whether, in the awful event that Johnson should end up on life support, DeLay would once again support legislation blocking any attempts to remove the feeding tube. "It is more than just Terry Schiavo," he told Time magazine in March 2005. Is it, though? Even with a Senate majority hanging in the balance? DeLay probably isn't such a partisan monster that he'd reverse field entirely and declare publicly that the man has suffered enough. More likely, DeLay would hold his tongue, "out of respect for the family," and quietly tell himself that Paris is worth a mass. (The latest news on Johnson's condition is hopeful, thank God, so DeLay is probably off the hook.)
The slaphead Kaus lacks the balls to attribute his own premature ejaculations to himself. No wonder Tom DeLay has Kaus on his blogroll.

And exactly what point did conservatives have, Kaus?

(Link via Robert Farley at Lawyers, Guns and Money.)