Tuesday, July 26, 2005

May Be The Stupidest Person Alive

We interrupt this interruption to consider Cliff May, who is working hard to beat Doughy Pantload, Tiffany Midgeson-Pantload and I.Q.-Lo. for the title of Most Cretinous Cornerite.

When last we met Cliff, he was telling us how President Franklin D. Roosevelt rose from the dead and reassumed his executive authority in order to commission an investigation into the attack on Pearl Harbor.

But Cliffie can top that, easy:

COVER STORIES [Cliff May]

[Pantload] pointed out in the Corner earlier that one neighbor, quoted in the Washington Times, had been told Valerie Plame was an economist.

But Joe Wilson's lawyer said in USA today that he thought she was an out of work consultant -- and though he was her very good friend he didn't know what kind of consultant. He wrote:

When I first met Joe and Valerie, I quickly got to the classic Washington question: What do you do? -- Valerie's answer was more than a little vague. She quickly said she was a consultant. As a fourth-generation Washingtonian, I have learned that when someone says, "I'm a consultant," that is a cue to back off, as it usually means the person is unemployed or "between engagements."

But in The Nation, David Corn wrote that Plame was "known to friends as an energy analyst for a private firm." The name of that firm came out later -- when reporters found that Plame had contributed to Al Gore's presidential primary campaign and had filled out a form identifying herself as an employee of Brewster-Jennings & Associates, which was quickly revealed to be a flimsy CIA front company.

And of course one of her former CIA supervisors said: "She was home for such a long time, she went to work every day at Langley, she was in an analytical type job, she was married to a high-profile diplomat with two kids. Most people who knew Valerie and her husband, I think, would have thought that she was an overt CIA employee."

Maybe there's a logical explanation for these different -- and mutually exclusive -- cover stories. If so, I'm sure someone will offer it. Or maybe the explanation is simpler: Maybe it demonstrates that Joe and Valerie weren't making a big effort -- just a little effort -- to keep her CIA connection secret.

Or maybe this is just an example of abysmally poor trade craft -- like having your shoe phone go off during a meeting with Goldfinger.
Yes, consultant, energy analyst and economist are mutually exclusive.

How could anyone think otherwise?

It's completely incredible.

It's physically and conceptually impossible.

The idea is insane.

It's inconceivable.

Barmy.

Batshit crazy.

Fucked in the haid.

Cliff May. Some say he's an odious dumbshit; some say he's a fraud; yet others say he's a twat. They're all correct.

See you next week.

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