Grand Old Police Blotter: Guilty, Guilty, Guilty Edition

Update:  Convicted criminal Dinesh D'Souza is guilty.

Update II:  D'Souza says he deeply regrets getting caught.

Update III:  10 to 16 months sounds about right. Expect D'Souza to postpone his World Victimization Tour until after sentencing.

Update IV: PoliticHO/AP are claiming that "His plea agreement calls for a sentence of 10 to 16 months in prison." That's almost certainly incorrect. That's a possible sentence, but not an agreed one.

Update V: Wingnut wankers are whimpering that the law D'Souza violated was unconstitutional. Maybe they should should have tipped Brafman off to that brilliant defense before his client entered his plea. [/sarcasm]

D'Souza's Going D'own

Judgment day has arrived for D'Bag D'Souza, and signs are he's looking to d'eal:

A federal court hearing has been scheduled for Tuesday morning in which the conservative author and filmmaker Dinesh D’Souza is expected to plead guilty to a charge stemming from campaign finance violations, according to a notice sent out by the government....

Decisions to plead guilty are subject to change at the last minute, and a defendant like Mr. D’Souza could decide instead to go to trial. The judge, Richard M. Berman, was to oversee jury selection on Tuesday morning, and opening arguments were expected to take place that day.

I hate it when the Feds coddle criminals like D'Bag. He has no defense. Literally. (Repeat: Literally. His own shyster said so.)

The judge also denied a request by D'Souza, a prominent critic of President Barack Obama, to seek the production of evidence that would support his claim the prosecution was in retaliation for his political activities.

"The court concludes the defendant has respectfully submitted no evidence he was selectively prosecuted," Berman said.

Any deal by which D'Souza avoids prison time is a miscarriage of justice. 

(For a laughable and poorly written counterpoint, see Rev. Moon's shriveled organ.)

The Benghazi Beer Koozie Collection

Collect all eight!  Trade them with your friends!

Featuring lifelike portraits of the Heroes of Benghazi -- Nakoula Basseley Nakoula, Reince Priebus, Lara Logan, Larry Klayman, Lindsey Graham, Dylan Davies and Jon Karl -- each handsome "kooz" is insulated from criticism and holds a 12 ounce can of Pale Fail or Boehner Beer.

And coming soon: The Heroes(tm) will appear on beanbag ashtrays, crocheted toilet roll koozies, and all-weather lawn jockeys.

Lame Change

Having lost all credibility with the hiring of Megan McArdle, Bloomberg Media has decided to double down on the crapitude with its latest hires:

John Heilemann and Mark Halperin, political journalists known for their detailed, gossip-filled books on the past two presidential campaigns, will join Bloomberg in the coming days to start a new site that will focus on American politics and policy.

The new project, Bloomberg Politics, is part of a broader strategy put in place by Justin B. Smith, who was appointed chief executive of Bloomberg Media Group last summer after serving as president of Atlantic Media.

Mr. Heilemann and Mr. Halperin, who are the authors of the best sellers “Game Change” and “Double Down,” are the “epitome of the type of quality journalistic talent that moves seamlessly between different kinds of platforms,” Mr. Smith said in an interview.

They will anchor a daily television program that will also stream online, as well as write news articles and take part in live events. A start date for the site has yet to be set, but will most likely be months away.

I thought these clowns existed to make Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski appear less cretinous, and Mike Allen and Howie Kurtz less conflicted.  To complete the loaf-rolling, BM is also hiring "Jonathan Allen, a former White House bureau chief for Politico, ... as the new Washington bureau chief."

L'Chaim

Remember last December, when I was bitching about some medical problems in an extremely vague manner?

That was some riveting blogging.  I'm not going to do that again, so continue reading!

The good news is that my condition has improved considerably.  The procedure I had was successful, and the condition which necessitated the procedure has been beaten back to a draw.  In the long run, we're all fucked.  But not today.

For everyone who offered their good wishes and/or advice, I remain grateful. Thank you again.

Old Folks At Home

Not all old folks are Bundy-Sterling Republican jackasses. From the Florida Sun-Senitinel, Rick Scott goes out for a photo-op and meets constituents who refuse to be bamboozled:

[Harvey] Eisen told the governor he wasn’t sure “if, as you say,” there are Obamacare-inspired cuts to Medicare. But even if there are, that would be OK. “I can’t expect that me as a senior citizen are going to get preferential treatment when other programs are also being cut.”

Ruthlyn Rubin, 66, of Boca Raton, told the governor that people who are too young for Medicare need the health coverage they get from Obamacare. If young people don’t have insurance, she said, everyone else ends up paying for their care when they get sick or injured and end up in the hospital.

Eventually, Rubin said, Obamacare will become more popular. “People were appalled at Social Security. They were appalled at Medicare when it came out. I think these major changes take some people aback. But I think we have to be careful not to just rely on the fact that we’re seniors and have an entitlement to certain things,” she said.

“We’re all just sitting here taking it for granted that because we have Medicare we don’t want to lose one part of it. That’s wrong to me. I think we have to spread it around. This is the United States of America. It’s not the United States of senior citizens,” Rubin said from her spot two seats away from the governor.

Most of old people aren't the greedy geezers of the Teabaggest Generation. There's plenty who aren't buying what the scam artists are selling. And if Scott doesn't fire his event coordinator over this, I'll give him credit for actually listening to what his constituents think.

On This Day In History

April 29, 2014:  Wingnuts do an about-face and argue that apartheid is a bad thing.

(Of course, they will deny throwing St. Ronnie and Dead-Dick Dick under the bus. IOKIYAWSA!)

Customers Who Liked "Monster Hunters International" Also Bought "I Married A Solipsist" By Glenn and Helen Reynolds

Glenn Reynolds, Three-Legged Chair of Inbred Peckerwood Studies at the University of Tennesee, cries that science fiction has been politicized, and that wingnut writers of the genre have been "punished" in some unspecified way for being wingnuts. He cites that case of one Larry Correia, "the author of numerous highly successful science fiction books like Monster Hunter Intetnational and Hard Magic," and a man I neither know or care anything about.  Unless I misread the column, Mr. Correia's punishment did not involve anything that prevents him from selling enough books to become highly successful.

Instacracker fulfills a large part of his contractual obligation to USA Today by pasting a large blockquote from Larry's blog, in which Lar blubbers that people spread "libel and slander" about him by saying... well, it doesn't matter, take Lar's word for it.  And, if that wasn't enough, Lar was also sabotaged, maligned and politicked against something awful. Instacracker also suggests that Lar will probably lose a popularity contest at some fan convention because he isn't the most popular author nominated. You'd think a man who pretends to be an international monster hunter for a living would be a bit more stoic about the chance he won't make prom king.  

But, wait, there's no more!  If people can't be nice to Lar, then science fiction is ruined forever. End of story.

If I was a cynic, I'd think 'Cracker was just using his USA Today column to get more Amazon referral fees.  

P.S.  Those parsing the text will note that I "punished" Professor Peckerwood above by suggesting he is an inbred peckerwood.  Or did I "punish" inbred peckerwoods?  Either way, 'Cracker's got yet another column about wingnut victimization, if he wants it.

Rod, God and a Wad

Rod Van Dreherwinkle has slept through the last 20-plus years of the Religious Right.  No points for guessing the subject of Rod's bother:

It’s just witless, red-meat blathering, delivered in that nasal whine of hers that makes it sound like she’s chewing wads of tinfoil.

Yes, yes it is. 

But one bit of blather has Dreher in a dither:

OK, stop. Not only is this woman, putatively a Christian, praising torture, but she is comparing it to a holy sacrament of the Christian faith. It’s disgusting — but even more disgusting, those NRA members, many of whom are no doubt Christians, cheered wildly for her.

Someone should tell Rod about a little site called National Review Online.  That site is lousy with he-men Christians who praise torture and certain of its practitioners.  And I'm not talking about the crazed commenters. 

There's A Koch-Sucker Bore Every Minute

The Obama economy has quite a few winners:

Out of the $37.5 million spent so far by the PACs of six major tea party organizations, less than $7 million has been devoted to directly helping candidates, according to the analysis, which was based on campaign finance data provided by the Sunlight Foundation.

The dearth of election spending has left many favored tea party candidates exposed before a series of pivotal GOP primaries next month in North Carolina, Nebraska, Idaho and Kentucky.
Roughly half of the money — nearly $18 million — has gone to pay for fundraising and direct mail, largely provided by Washington-area firms. Meanwhile, tea party leaders and their family members have been paid hundreds of thousands of dollars in consulting fees, while their groups have doled out large sums for airfare, a retirement plan and even interior decorating.

The 'bagmen are advancing some unique defenses:

Adam Brandon, executive vice president of FreedomWorks, said that much of the group’s super PAC funds go toward training activists to make phone calls and walk door-to-door — expenditures that are not categorized as campaign-related but that pay off politically.

Most of us learned how to make phone calls and walk before kindergarten. I understand it's a little harder for the fundies and Bundys.

Here's a heartwarming rags-to-riches tale for the suckers:

[Jenny Beth] Martin, the super PAC’s chairwoman, oversees all its expenditures, according to Broughton, meaning she sets her own $15,000 monthly fee for strategic consulting — payments that have totaled $120,000 since July.

She also draws a salary as president of the Tea Party Patriots’ nonprofit arm — getting more than $272,000 in the 2012 fiscal year, according to the group’s most recent tax filing.

Her twin salaries put her on track to make more than $450,000 this year, a dramatic change in lifestyle for the tea party activist, who had filed for bankruptcy in 2008 and then cleaned homes for a period of time to bring in extra money.

Outrageous! We can only pray that the Roberts Court will put an end to such unconstitutional disclosure laws.

Fear and loathing is now the fastest growing market sector. 

'Baggers like to say that The Tea Party has no leaders.  But it has plenty of bleeders.  But those chumps can only be bled dry once, and then the astroturf wars will begin in earnest.

Ka-BLM! Blood in the Face, Right in the Face

Poor Sean Hannity, Best Bud o'Bundy.

Now Cliven B. is only good to him as the victim of a BLM sniper.

Of course, Sean is willing to make that sacrifice.

Bundy/Palin 2016

Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather.

Next up: Charles Murray and Andrew Sullivan co-sign a petition deploring the Feds' attempt to punish Cliven's right to speak.

Joseph And The Amazing Soon-to-Be Convicted Felon In An Orange Jumpsut

Another right-wing criminal betrayed by his mistress's husband:

Prosecutors also said they had obtained a copy of a recording made surreptitiously last October by the husband of a woman Mr. D’Souza was involved with romantically around the time of the donations, when Mr. D’Souza was separated from his wife. In making the recording, the husband was not acting at the government’s direction, prosecutors said. The woman, Denise Joseph, was one of the alleged straw donors.

Ms. Joseph was recorded as saying that Mr. D’Souza had told her that if he were charged he might plead guilty, but would initially plead not guilty because that “gives him a window of opportunity to get his story out there,” the government said. Ms. Joseph had no comment, her lawyer said.

D'Souza was last seen hanging around the Bundy ranch, looking for sheep other than his current supporters. I suspect the four-legged livestock will put up more of a fight.

Coalition of the Butthurt

So let's see how many of the signaturies of this open wanker letter sign a similar letter condemning the termination of an employee based on sexual orientation (and the laws which allow it). Better yet, how about signing one every time it occurs?

You know, if it's about principle and it's not just a circle-jerk of privileged blowhards worried about being called on their crap.

(Though it is nice to see Sully and Charles Murray back together again.  It's almost like they never parted.)

Grand Old Police Blotter: Another Ill Eagle Arrested In Florida Edition

Florida Republican Dane Eagle is staggering in the footsteps of his old man:

Court documents show Tallahassee Police first spotted Eagle (R-Cape Coral) pulling out of a Taco Bell on West Tennessee Street. He then made a U-turn in his black SUV, and police said he nearly hit a curb outside Papa John's before running a stoplight. After pulling him over, the officer reported a strong odor of alcohol coming from the vehicle, and his eyes were bloodshot and watery. Eagle told the officer he thought the stoplight was yellow.

Documents also show that Eagle told the police officer he did not drink alcohol that night, but he stumbled when exiting his vehicle. The odor, Eagle said, was because friends who were drinking at a bar earlier had ridden in his car.

...

Eagle's arrest marks the second Southwest Florida Republican politician to run afoul of the law in recent months. Former U.S. Rep. Trey Radel resigned in January following a stint in rehab sparked by his cocaine arrest in October.

Eagle's father, Greg Eagle, pleaded guilty in 2013 to charges of bank fraud, mail fraud and wire fraud. The elder Eagle was a significant contributor to Florida Republican causes and campaigns. Dane Eagle was not named in the investigation of his father's finances.

Time for some Floridian Teabaggers to arm themselves and spread Eagle's message of the Constitutional right to graze public curbs while shitfaced (If you're a Republican).

Praying For Waco Is Not A Metaphor

These are depraved individuals who lust for blood for their own personal and political benefit.

 

Praying For Waco

The wingnuts are beseeching the Almighty that Cliven Bundy, the most famous Republican Bundy since Ted, dies in a hail of bullets.  The coffers of the G.O.P. must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of "patriots." 

Cliven has the advantage that he's not a pedophile, although that wouldn't stop the G.O.P. from lionizing him anyway.

Not to Mention the Two Full Columns of Situation Wanted: Trollop Solicitations in the Territorial Enterprise

James Dobson is feeling neglected as he ponders the site of the 2016 Republican Convention:

“The GOP is supposedly interested in reaching out to conservatives and evangelicals. Maybe that’s just a front, but if they really mean it this is not the way to do it,” Dobson said Tuesday. “Even though Vegas has tried to shore itself up and call itself family-friendly, it’s still a metaphor for decadence. There’s still 64 pages of escort services in the yellow pages. … You can’t have it both ways.”

I'm fairly certain you can have it all kinds of ways, Dobby. Just keep dialing.

Uberkill

Continuing with OCD-like laser-like precision into my investigation of Vox advertorials, it appears that the uncredited photo of Uber bike messengers pissing on a wall which accompanies Matt Yglesias's "story" on UberRUSH was supplied by Uber itself, as shown on this CNBC story which credits the photo.

So why no credit?  Some of Yglesias' stories have photo credits; others, like the one on Uber, don't.  Here's an story where Yglesias whines at length about how Amtrak boarding procedures inconvenience him, illustrated with numerous credited photos, including credits for Yglesias himself and his dad.  But he gives no hat tip to the "logistics" company whose product he's pimping.

The lesson is: If you're going to post content that reads like poorly-written ad copy, make it clear whether you meant to write a story or an ad.

Deutschmarks Uber Inhalt

Updated below

Vox has one-upped Talking Points Memo by putting a big name, Matt Yglesias, in charge of writing advertorials.  Read as Matt gushes in turgid prose over Uber:

Uber functions right now as, in effect, a taxi dispatch company though you also hear words like "ridesharing" tossed around. But they are about to dip their toes in the water of a different business — messenger services and deliveries.

          ...

Messenger services just in part of Manhattan is clearly a pretty small line of business. But it's an important sign about where the company is heading. They are known to the world as a car dispatch service, but they like to describe themselves as specializing in "urban logistics." Last December they staged this Christmas tree delivery marketing stunt [link removed - RA], that I said was likely a precursor to a broader move into delivery. And now you're seeing a version of that come to fruition with Uber Rush.

The ability to dispatch vehicles to arbitrary locations and efficiently route them through a city has a lot of potential applications beyond just taxis. Ultimately the company would like to make a much bigger push into the broader world of delivery and logistics, and this is the toe in those waters.

You think I'm joking.  

About the advertorial bit.  (Not the turgid prose bit.)

I'm not.  

Check out that li'l gray bar at the bottom of Matt's prose. The one with the tiny print in slightly darker gray. Which you probably ignored, even if you made it all the way past the giant promo photo and down to the bottom of the "story," because the "story" is identified as a "Top Story," and not as ad, on the homepage. Same here.

You'd think Uber would insist that its promoter not write like a summer intern for an Indiana congressman assigned to crank out the constituent newsletter.  Or maybe that's part of the plan.  

Vox wants to help people understand the news  Just maybe not completely.

Update:  It appears the l'il' gray "Advertisement" bar appears beneath all of the "Top Stories," even the ones without the uncredited publicity photos, press release headline and purely promotional tone. And none of those pages have clearly recognizable ads beneath the bar either. But if Yglesias' article is not meant as an ad, then what the hell is it?  (Besides even more hilarious.)

Republican Family Values: Fuck A Duck Edition

A Godly man -- a man last seen wagging his Willie in the U.S. Capitol building -- has developed a taste for 'Cock:

"There's no doubt I've fallen short and I'm asking for forgiveness. I'm asking for forgiveness from God, my wife, my kids, my staff, and my constituents who elected me to serve," [Vance] McAllister said in a statement. "Trust is something I know has to be earned whether you're a husband, a father, or a congressman. I promise to do everything I can to earn back the trust of everyone I've disappointed."

He went on: "From day one, I've always tried to be an honest man. I ran for Congress to make a difference and not to just be another politician. I don't want to make a political statement on this, I would just simply like to say that I'm very sorry for what I've done.

"While I realize I serve the public, I would appreciate the privacy given to my children as we get through this," McAllister added. He and his wife Kelly have five children.

The 'Cock in quo is Melissa Peacock, a married staffer who's got Vance in her pants. Needless to say, Mrs. Peacock has already gotten the knife in the conservatory, while Duckfucker Vance continues to be a Teabag hero. In Louisana, a wingnut legislator can do no wrong, provided the 'Cock he fondles isn't attached to a penis. You can Depend on it.

Even A Loon With A Poodle Toupee Is Right Twice A Decade

Dick Cheney is a war criminal.

Let's see if the poodle has been neutered by his Presidential ambitions, or if he will continue to squeak the truth on at least one subject.

Benghaziiiii!!!!!!

Dana Milbank on the Benghazi clown show nineteen months on.

Only the mentally ill now care about this freakfest.

When Chris Christie Occupies A Territory, He Really Occupies A Territory

The bigger they are, the harder they fail:

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie apologized to casino magnate Sheldon Adelson, a major GOP donor, for referring to the “occupied territories” in a speech to the Republican Jewish Coalition.

Christie met with Adelson privately on Saturday afternoon in Adelson’s Las Vegas office in the hotel which hosted the RJC meeting, Politico reported, citing an unnamed source.

During his speech on Saturday, Christie spoke of his family’s trip to Israel in 2012. “I took a helicopter ride from the occupied territories across and just felt personally how extraordinary that was to understand, the military risk that Israel faces every day,” he reportedly said.

Several news outlets reported that the crowd of Jewish Republicans at Christie’s speech noticeably gasped at Christie’s use of the loaded term.

Politico reported that the unnamed source, which it called “familiar with the conversation,” said that Christie made clear “that he misspoke when he referred to the ‘occupied territories.’ And he conveyed that he is an unwavering friend and committed supporter of Israel, and was sorry for any confusion that came across as a result of the misstatement.”

Big Pussy also personally apologized to Adelson for not referring to online gaming as "the Second Holocaust" during his speech.

Grand Old Police Blotter Meets Republican Family Values: Crossover Special Edition

From the heart of Cheney Country comes news of a Republican Priest:

RED LODGE — State Sen. Jason Priest pleaded not guilty Thursday to four criminal charges, including an allegation that he attacked his wife, who states in court records that her husband’s abuse has been going on since before he took office four years ago.

Priest, 45, appeared before Judge Blair Jones in Carbon County District Court and denied a charge of felony assault on a minor and misdemeanor counts of partner or family member assault, assault and resisting arrest.

Those charges stem from an incident outside Priest’s home in Red Lodge on Feb. 1.

Prosecutors say the Republican senator threw his 4-year-old daughter, shoved his estranged wife, Anna Priest, and broke her boyfriend’s rib before struggling with a police officer who witnessed the incident and intervened.

Court records state that Priest’s daughter sustained a 1-inch bump after landing on her head, and that Jonathan Trapp, Anna Priest's boyfriend, was treated at a hospital for a broken rib.

Trapp and Anna Priest both filed for and received orders of protection against the senator in the days after the incident.

More here.

Priest's defense is apparently that his wife was acting like "white trash" in front of the children.  You just have to beat racial superiority into some people.

The alleged crime happened two months ago, and the defeaning chorus of wingnut bloggers' condemnation of Priest has slowly abated (hint: it's non-existent), but the case came up on Romenesko because the documents depicted brutality too heinous to post online. Now a one-inch bump doesn't sound like a serious injury for a four year old, so why is the paper which reported that detail refusing to link to the report? Well, according to the rag's incoherent editor, a child was involved, but, 

More importantly, I believe the court documents could paint Priest in a harsh light. And, just as much as I am a fervent supporter of the First Amendment, I am also a big believer in the due process that says it’s up to the courts to decide Priest’s innocence or guilt.

Priorities!

Well, throwing a small child across a room onto her head, shoving white trash an ex-spouse, breaking a guy's rib and resisting arrest tend to expose one to a harsh light.  Apparently the editor "routinely post[s] court documents online," but only when those docs portray the accused in a flattering light. 

Priest should be bathed in the harsh flourescent light of a maximum security prison, if convicted. The editor should just be flushed.

Perhaps the sanitzing editor is afraid of Tea Party thuggery. From 2010:

Jason Priest, a Republican legislative candidate for Senate District 30, was caught on video calling the voters of Red Lodge “insane.”

Speaking to a group of Tea Party followers, apparently unaware of a running camera, Priest said, “I live in Red Lodge where I’m that guy that nobody agrees with, and I don’t mind. I have to talk to them about things that are important to them in ways that aren’t offensive to them. That’s a good lesson to learn. I would rather tell them they’re insane… Is that camera on?”      

...

In that posting, Priest wrote, “Keynes was a big homo if he’s fondling your balls it probably means you’re getting a reach around which is way better than what Obama is giving America. We are all getting the dry thumb.”

Beat down good, reach around bad. By the time of trial, we can expect the white-trash defense to morph into the guardsman's defense.

Everybody's So Different, I Haven't Changed

Talking Points Memo has started publishing sponsored content. From this we learn that Scientology is much worse than Big PhRMA, hoo ha-wise. At Crooked Timber, P. O'Neill remembers in a comment when those disco hotspots still held some charm from us:

I know there’s going to be a Dylan goes electric vibe to all the complaining, but aren’t things getting a bit weird with all the bloggers we grew up on? … Ezra Klein now seeming to want his own version of Politico, TPM doing this Impact thing with lobby money and the first article being the developing country toilet thing that’s been done to death already, Nate Silver in whatever (hopefully) teething problems he’s got, and Slate collecting bloggers while simultaneously chasing some of those Daily Mail eyeballs with screaming headlines. Maybe when Josh Marshall gets some reader feedback he’ll see the light.

Of course, Roger Ailes has been compromised editorally since Jim Capozzola bought out its banner ad back in the day, so I'm reserving judgment until all the bids are in.

Although frankly, I'm surprised B Ph. didn't go for The Dish -- must be a why buy the cow scenario.

Christie Pays Law Firm $1 Million Dollars to Vindicate Himself

Just think how much they'll charge when he's indicted.

It's good to know that you can still pay someone a million dollars of public money to get a positive reference.

The report says it did not interview the staffers allegedly involved. New Jersey lawmakers and the U.S. Attorney's office in New Jersey are undertaking parallel investigations into the traffic tie-up.

The 344-page report said the two-month internal investigation involved 250,000 documents and 70 interviews, but excluded some of the main players in the scandal, such as Bridget Anne Kelly, the governor's former deputy chief of staff, and Bill Stepien, Christie's former campaign manager.

The internal report has no legal weight and is eyed with suspicion by many critics because it was ordered by Christie, who in January fired the staffers and denied any involvement.

"Governor Christie's account of these events rings true. It is corroborated by many witnesses, and he has conducted himself at every turn as someone who has nothing to hide," the report said.

Every time an account rings true, a morbidly obese angel gets his wings.  And you thought Johnnie Cochran, Robert Kardashian, Alan Dershowitz and Gerry Uelmen were the Dream Team!

Here's the real test of this report. Since the good burghers of New Jersey paid over a million for this report, they are Gibson, Dunn's client. Which means that Big Pussy cannot claim attorney-client privilege as to Gibson's communications or work product. Which means that the people are entitled to review every interview transcript, document, note, e-mail, communication between attorneys, billing statement, &c. in Gibson's clutches. And "how soon will those materials be turned over" should be the first and last question asked by reporters of the shysters in charge of Big Pussy's dog and pony show.

I won't hold my breath.

Another Tea Party Champ

The G.O.P. has found its ideal candidate  for California governor, especially since Robert "Mickey" Kaus is still pretending to be a Democrat:

[Glenn] Champ said the assault case "was just for picking up some underage prostitutes" and resulted in a 90-day jail sentence. He said he turned his life around after the incident.

"I found the Lord when I got arrested for picking up the prostitutes," Champ said. "I was like most people, ignorant in the darkness, in the very dark. I had no peace, had no love, had no joy. And now I do. Praise God for that…. I've grown considerably since I met Christ."

He called the voluntary manslaughter case a "tragic accident."

Ever notice how most people who find the Lord after just picking up underage prostitutes do it after they've been arrested?  The Lord must leave a card with His address on it in the back of squad cars.

This next bit of news will knock you over with a feather:

GLENN CHAMP’S political philosophy is a T.E.A. (tax enough already) partier. He believes in Biblical rights, constitution of our founding fathers state rights, liberty and Justice to use your gun rights!

From T.E.E.N. partier to T.E.A. partier.  What a short, strange trip.

Like Rush Limbaugh, Champ is a self-professed gift from God:

Q/A you may ask yourself why a man of God to be Governor of California?

God has heard your cries and sent a deliverer, “Champ”.

And God and "Champ" -- a "former G-man, welder, mechanic and contract firefighter" -- have had it with RINOs:

Feeling that it’s time to bring a fighter to the Republican Party and move away from lawyer candidates. Einstein said, “That if you keep using the same ingredients and expect different results - that is the definition of insanity” , like we have in the land of fruits and nuts.

On the other hand, the California G.O.P. knows better than the tea off the Tea Party, per the L.A. Times:

"We're not in the business of vetting candidates, and we don't pick winners and losers," [California Republican Party chairman Jim] Brulte said. "Republican voters should get to decide who runs against Jerry Brown."

So, no Brulte call is what you're saying, eh, Champ ... er ... Slugger? 

Update (11/23):  The story of Tea Party Predator Glenn Champ has not gotten much covered since your pal, Roger, broke cut-and-pasted with value added the story from the L.A. Times.  Rick Moran over at P.J. Tattler has also reported on linked to the story, but failed to inform his readers of Glenn's Tea Party bona fides.  Proving once again that your pal Roger is the only source for fearless and unbiased reporting on the internet, when he can get around it.  

Update 2 (11/23):  This will also come as no surprise.

Get Fucked

Meanwhile, in traditional marriage news:

LAS VEGAS — The wedding was a modest affair, held in a reception hall overlooking an artificial lake tucked behind a suburban strip. But just minutes after it ended, the bride and groom hurriedly scurried past dozens of protesters here who were chanting “Bigamist!” and “Shame on you!”

...

Meir Kin, the new husband, has been divorced for more than seven years, under California’s civil law. But he has refused to give his previous wife the document known as a “get,” as required by Orthodox Jewish law to end a marriage. In the eyes of religious authorities, the woman he married in 2000 is what is called an agunah — Hebrew for chained wife. Without the get, the woman, Lonna Kin, is forbidden under Jewish law to remarry.

Jewish law prohibits men from taking multiple wives. But Mr. Kin, according to several rabbis here, apparently relied on a legal loophole, which says that if a man can get the special permission of 100 rabbis to take a second wife, he is able to do so.

The article further reports that the git wil give his first wife a get in exchange for sole custody of their 12 year old son (who apparently was three when they split) and half a million dollars.

Yes, that does sound like blackmail, even if the only threat is religious bullshit.  

I don't know anythiung about this practice, but apparently it has led to circumstances where vicrims of such blackmail hired other rabbis to kick their husbands' asses.

I blame all of this on homosexuals.

Roll, Tide

Another legal victory for marriage equality, in a decision by a Reagan appointee from the Eastern District of Michigan:

In attempting to define this case as a challenge to “the will of the people,” Tr. 2/25/14 p. 40, state defendants lost sight of what this case is truly about: people. No court record of this proceeding could ever fully convey the personal sacrifice of these two plaintiffs who seek to ensure that the state may no longer impair the rights of their children and the thousands of others now being raised by same-sex couples. It is the Court’s fervent hope that these children will grow up “to understand the integrity and closeness of their own family and its concord with other families in their community and in their daily lives.” Windsor, 133 S. Ct. at 2694. Today’s decision is a step in that direction, and affirms the enduring principle that regardless of whoever finds favor in the eyes of the most recent majority, the guarantee of equal protection must prevail.

Bonus fun:

And the University of Texas took the extraordinary step of disavowing the testimony of sociology professor Mark Regnerus, who was a witness for Michigan.

See more here.

Back to the decision:

The Court finds Regnerus’s testimony entirely unbelievable and not worthy of serious consideration. The evidence adduced at trial demonstrated that his 2012 “study” was hastily concocted at the behest of a third-party funder, which found it “essential that the necessary data be gathered to settle the question in the forum of public debate about what kinds of family arrangement are best for society” and which “was confident that the traditional understanding of marriage will be vindicated by this study.” See Pls.’ Motion in limine to Exclude Testimony of Mark Regnerus, Ex. 9....

While Regnerus maintained that the funding source did not affect his impartiality as a researcher, the Court finds this testimony unbelievable. The funder clearly wanted a certain result, and Regnerus obliged. Additionally, the NFSS is flawed on its face, as it purported to study “a large, random sample of American young adults (ages 18-39) who were raised in different types of family arrangements” (emphasis added), but in fact it did not study this at all, as Regnerus equated being raised by a same-sex couple with having ever lived with a parent who had a “romantic relationship with someone of the same sex” for any length of time. Whatever Regnerus may have found in this “study,” he certainly cannot purport to have undertaken a scholarly research effort to compare the outcomes of children raised by same-sex couples with those of children raised by heterosexual couples. (pages 13-14.)

That's gonna leave a Mark ... unemployable.  

Stick A Fork In Him

Still, sadly, the rule of law in Florida is "only the first one is free."

To Replay The King

Spoiler alert

Why is this shocking at all?

MRC Killings

Jim Romensko reveals that Tim Graham is the Jeff Dunham to Brent Bozell's racist dummy: 

Two other people with ties to MRC confirmed that Graham is Bozell’s ghostwriter – and that Graham is not happy with the assignment.

“Tim just resents having to do it,” says a former employee.

Graham’s wife, too, is so angry about the arrangement that she refuses to attend Media Research Center events.

“She hates Bozell,” I’m told. 

I wouldn't put it past Timmy to tell Mrs. Graham that el-Brent forces him to watch MTV and Logo and The Real Housewives of New Jersey just so he can write Bozell's columns.   

I can understand why Timmy would want a bigger cut of the proceeds MRC makes off the rubes, but what person in his right mind would want to take credit for writing this:

Why can't leftists ever take responsibility for anything?

Since this band [Bad Religion] believes churches are a blight on society, it's unsurprising that 20 percent of their sales proceeds [for a Christmas CD] will go to suing the Catholic Church through the "Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests," a group as despicable as it is dishonest.

Yes, in el-Brent/Timmy's collective mind, there's nothing so despicable as rape victims, those lying little sluts.

Reagan Bull

Scott Walker has disqualified himself to hold any elective office, as revealed in his interview with John Hawkins of Right Wing News.

Walker is unfit to hold any office by virtue of allowing himself to be interviewed by John Hawkins of Right Wing News.

Update: Screamin' John Hawkins is throwing himself under the Walker bus on this one, according to Matt Lewis of The Daily Choler.  Further establishing my premise.  (No link to The Choler.)

Inbreeding Will Tell

Having devoured the last of Andy B.'s formidible corpse, the maggots are now going cannibalistic on each others' asses to keep themselves alive. The latest tale of Dolchstossing, according to The Daiily Choler, centers on unemployable shyster Ben Shapiro, who apparently was the last to latch onto Breitbart while the latter was nominally alive:

While Shapiro declined to talk for this piece, The Mirror is hearing numerous grumblings and stories of serious hardship about how difficult life is there since the death of their beloved leader Andrew Breitbart. Some current and former employees are pained by some of the things they see happening there, bizarre, inexplicable directives and childish grudges for example, and other things they say Breitbart never would have tolerated.

As many already know, Dana Loesch, who was one of Breitbart’s closest cohorts, filed a $75k lawsuit against the company in late 2012 because she claimed execs wouldn’t let her out of her contract and badmouthed her to other suitors interested in hiring her. She settled with Breitbart News in July of 2013. She now works for Glenn Beck over at TheBlaze.

Internally, the general feeling was that once Shapiro started TruthRevolt, the right-wing media watchdog site, that he’d be venturing over there full time and leaving Breitbart in the dust. But Breitbart has managed to keep him on in a limited capacity that allows him to go full-time at TruthRevolt as well as retain a position at Breitbart News.

(sic -- All shitty writing (c) Betsy Rothstein, 2014)


Yes, if there's anything the world needs, it's another shitty right-wing media watchdog site to compete with NewsBustards, mrc.org, Mediaite, Depends Media, Twanky and Breitbart.com's own Big Journaljism.  It seems Shapiro, like every hack on the right, wants to stay wrapped up in Breitbart's pelt while keeping Breitbart's gelt solely to himself. 

But how can Brietbart.com continue to work with Benjy when he gives TruthRevolt the exclusive on "NBC Commentator's Wardrobe Shows Support for LGBT"?  (Currently the most-viewed story on The Wide World of Splutter.)

One cannot help but picture The Virgin Ben and Joel Pollack storming off to their respective rooms, slamming their respective doors and wailing, "I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!" into their respective well-loved blue Snuggles -- all while speed-dialing Betsy Rothstein.

Warning: Link to The Daily Choler.

Update:  While the wingnutosphere provides 24/7 coverage of Benjy's butthurt, a promising real news website is launched.

Comedy Is Tragedy Plus Bad Taste

link

C(RED)it Fraud

With all the wingnut self-wetting about a Coca-Cola  commercial aired last night, most people seem to have overlooked the 800 millon pound convicted fraudster in the digital room:

(Reuters) - The U.S. government has raised the amount it is seeking in penalties from Bank of America Corp (BAC.N) to $2.1 billion after a jury found the bank was liable for fraud over defective mortgages sold by its Countrywide unit.

The request in a court filing late on Wednesday was based on gross revenue generated by the fraud, the government said. The Justice Department had previously asked for $863.6 million.

The initial request was based on gross losses it said government-sponsored mortgage finance companies Fannie Mae (FNMA.OB) and Freddie Mac (FMCC.OB) incurred on loans purchased from Countrywide Financial Corp in 2007 and 2008.

How about some free download cash for the victims of Bank of America, Bank of America?  You could buy 525 Super Bowl ads with the cash earned from homeowners you fucked over.

(Yes, I know civil liability isn't a criminal conviction. I speak rhetorically.)  

Roger Beats The Spread

My Super Bowl prediction -- that the Super Bowl wouldn't be worth watching -- was eerily prescient.

By Their Words Ye Shall Know Them

The Big Pussy Administration delivers the new standard for judging someone's credibility:

“He was publicly accused by his high school social studies teacher of deceptive behavior.”

We should give Big Pussy the benefit of the doubt and judge him by the same standard. 

Autoerotcorrect

A lot of people doing a Google search for "Althouse" are going to be terribly disappointed.

Unless they really really enjoy comments by blithering old male idiots.

Marty Peretz Walks Into A Bar .... Hearing

Somehow, this wasn't helpful:

Martin Peretz, who owned and managed The New Republic at the time of the fabrications, testified on Glass's behalf and had developed a charitable view of his misconduct by the time of the California State Bar hearing. He blamed himself and, even more, the magazine's editors for encouraging Glass to write zany, shocking articles and for failing to recognize the improbability of some of Glass's stories. He found the harm of the scandal to the magazine to be minimal. He had renewed social contact with Glass in the past few years and believed that Glass had been harshly treated. He would not rule out hiring Glass again as a journalist.  He explained that in his experience as a professor “[t]he most brilliant students plagiarize,” complaining to the Committee‟s counsel, “I actually find your pursuing him an act of stalking.”

Grand Old Police Blotter: D'Souza P'Alooza Edition

The Dinesh D'Souza stupidity spree just keeps getting better. Turns out the strawd'onors were not married to each other. One was "other woman" in D'Souza's life and pants, the other was an employee of D'Souza (and possibly of his employer, The King's College).  

That's right, D'Souza's bit on the side was "donating" dollars to D'Souza's college pal in the name of the husband she was cuckolding, according to Gawker:

On August 30, 2012, according to a quarterly report filed two months later, the Long campaign received a $10,000 donation under the name of [Denise Odie] Joseph’s husband. On the same day, the campaign received another $10,000 donation, under [personal assistant Tyler] Vawser’s name. Campaign finance law caps individual contributions at $5,000, so both donations were flagged by Long’s treasurer for “reattribution/redesignation.” (By then D’Souza and his wife Dixie had both contributed the maximum amount to Long’s campaign.)

Vawser’s $10,000 donation was never split up or refunded, according to subsequent FEC filings. But on October 22, 2012—a week after D’Souza’s affair with Joseph scandalized the evangelical community and D’Souza resigned his presidency at The King’s College—Long’s treasurer “reattributed” $5,000 of Louis Joseph’s original donation to Denise Joseph, leaving Louis with an identical $5,000 contribution. (It's not clear from the filings why Joseph received a post-election refund for $5,000—a perfectly legal amount of money.)

So while D'Souza was married, he gave his mistress $5K to give to third woman or he told his mistress to give the third woman $5K with a promise of repayment. In the name of her chump hubby.

Worse than D'Souza's scummy relationship is the fact that he involved his employee in his crimes.  

Jesus would totally do that.  

Let's Just Declare Intellectual Bankruptcy and Shut This Whole Thing Down

I hate to judge a book by its cover, but ...

Henry David Thoreau leaves the seclusion of Walden Pond to help investigate a series of murders in the first in B. B. Oak's fascinating new historical mystery series, set against the bucolic backdrop of 19th century New England.

Wha --

Angered by the injustice, Adam and his lovely cousin Julia Bell agree to assist Thoreau in investigating. Adam notes in his new friend all the makings of a great detective—an encyclopedic knowledge of the natural world, uncanny observational skills, a sharp instinct for detecting human foibles. As the case progresses, the mysteries only deepen and there is no mistaking the brutal slaying of a womanizing army captain as anything other than the coldest murder. Journeying from their tranquil village to Boston’s most disreputable district, they gradually uncover the monstrous truth -- even while a vicious killer prepares to end their inquiry for good.

In the sequel, "Frazer Is Killed," Thoreau teams up with his former lover, Union super-spy Emily Dickinson, in a race against time to discover the identity of the shadowy Southerner known only as "Booth."

The Albommies

I'm thinking of doing, when the NCAA b-ball tourney time comes around, a bracket with the 64 worst contemporary American popular fiction authors. The only problem will be narrowing it down.

Googlenacht

Steve M. reports on the Re-Rise of Fascism in Baghdad-by-the-Bay, complete with an attack on S.F.'s own Stalin (Danielle).

Grand Old Police Blotter: Long Dongs D'Souza Edition

The key prosecution witness in the felony campaign law violation case against ladies man Dinesh D'Souza is the beneficiary of his largess:

[Wendy] Long, an old friend of D'Souza's from their Dartmouth days, will testify against him at trial, prosecutor Carrie Cohen told Judge Richard Berman at the "Roots of Obama's Rage" author's arraignment.

Long "informed the government that Mr. D'Souza lied to her about the source of those donations," Cohen said.

She said D'Souza had exceeded campaign contribution limits by giving her cash through two of his married friends.

Here's where it gets interesting. 

"One worked with him and the other lived with him," Cohen said.

This isn't particularly clear.  Were the friends married to each other?  If so, why was one was living with D'Souza?  Where was the girlfriend Opie living?  Sounds kinky.

They each donated $10,000 to Long and behalf of themselves and their spouses — and then D'Souza repaid them in cash a "one or two days later," Cohen said.

Individual donations are supposed to be capped at $5,000. The two straw donors have given witness statements to the feds, and will also testify against D'Souza at trial, Cohen said.

The line to throw D'Souza under the bus is a long one. 

D'Souza's high-powered lawyer, Benjamin Brafman, said he wasn't challenging most of Cohen's facts — but he was challenging her conclusion that what his client did was criminal.

"There was no 'quid pro quo' in this case," Brafman said, and the director "did not act with any corrupt or criminal intent whatsoever."

"At worse, this was an act of misguided friendship by D'Souza," he said.

High-powered doesn't guarantee high value, it seems. Brafman's got nothing.

D’Souza was released on $500,000 bond.

Or 100 illegal campaign contributions bond, as D'Souza calls it.

Meanwhile, D'Souza's suckers supporters are busy dreaming up left-wing conspiracies to explain the prosecution. I'm sure they'll zip back up once they learn that D'Souza was gift-wrapped for the feds by a former law clerk for Clarence "Gin and Pubes" Thomas.

Between the legal fees and fines, D'Souza's supporters suckers are going to pay through the nose for this caper.  Shame they can do his prison time for him. 

Type 2 Diabetes Daddy Schools The B****es

Ted Nugent's opening act unveils the G.O.P.'s grand campaign to court women voters: 

The Democrat Party platform appeals to whores.  You're not a stupid whore, are you?

Update:  What he said. 

Grand Old Police Blotter: Long D'Ong D'Souza Edition

Whenever two or more are gathered in His name, it's a criminal conspiracy. Leading Christian criminal Dinesh D'Souza, last seen sexing up a woman other than his wife, has now been nailed as tthe ringleader of a criminal enterprise.

Federal prosecutors in Manhattan said that Mr. D’Souza encouraged others to give $20,000 to a Senate candidate and reimbursed them for the donations. Election law prohibits such arrangements and caps donations at $5,000 per donor to any one candidate.

The Senate candidate was not identified in the indictment. Mr. D’Souza donated to only one federal candidate in 2012, giving $5,000 toWendy Long, a New York Republican who lost her challenge to Senator Kirsten E. Gillibrand, a Democrat.

“Mr. D’Souza did not act with any corrupt or criminal intent whatsoever,” his lawyer, Benjamin Brafman, said in a statement. “He and the candidate have been friends since their college days, and at most, this was an act of misguided friendship by D’Souza.”

It's not a crime if you're friends, and the 5K re-payments to the strawdonors were just a coincidence. 

D'Souza and Long were last in the news together in their roles as the trustees of an anti-Semitic college newspaper.  If he's convicted, maybe he can join a Neo-Nazi prison gang.

It's Also Good News For John McCain

Meeeegan McArdle claims she won one of those debates where you "win" the debate by planting losers in the audience who will lie and claim they changed their position to your side in the course of two hours.  In truth, McArdle's side lost the debate, 59 to 32 percent.  But the libertarian half-wit claims victory by virtue of decreasing by 16 percent the total votes against her. (That's how Mitt Romney became our 46th President, dont'cha know?)

No doubt the McArdle trophy case is full of participation ribbons, stretched out of shape during McArdle's efforts to pry them from their bearers.

And then there's this:

My favorite moment from the debate, and I’m obviously biased, occurred when McArdle denied that she philosophically opposes national health insurance, prompting me to quote the headline of this 2009 McArdle column, “Why I Oppose National Health Care.”

Lying to achieve "victory," The oldest libertarian trick in The Fountainhead.   

Fear of Plowing

What the zipless fuck?

They largely ignored the well-heeled Upper East Side until nearly 5 inches fell — according to the city’s PlowNYC Web site — and by then, buses were stranded and people could barely cross the streets.

...

 “The Upper East Side did not vote for [de Blasio],” said lifelong resident Molly Jong Fast, daughter of famed novelist Erica Jong.

She said de Blasio “is trying to get us back.”

Not enough coddling for you, Molly?

A few inches of powder destroys one's self-consciousness, it seems:

But it’s hardly the Upper East Side she knew growing up, says Jong-Fast, who, though now married to an investment banker, prefers that people be “self-conscious about their wealth, especially in these times.” Dressed in black the other day, with no makeup, bangles or earrings, she looked more downtown than up.

Then again, she says, when she grew up — with bohemian-writer parents in a hot-pink townhouse on 94th Street — money wasn’t something you flaunted.

While they were upper-middle-class and sent little Molly to private school, they didn’t dispatch her there by limo, as some parents did.

“They liked to make fun of rich people,” she says of her mom, dad and stepdad. “Maybe they were jealous!”

Or maybe Mom wasn't scared of five inches.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Buy Your Own Bob Edition

The first Republican governor to be indicted in 2014 isn't the one regularly found in line at the Golden Corral's endless buffet. But he is just as insatiable:

Former Virginia governor Robert F. McDonnell and his wife Maureen were charged Tuesday with illegally accepting gifts, luxury vacations and large loans from a wealthy Richmond-area businessman who sought special treatment from state government.

Authorities alleged that McDonnell and his wife received gifts from executive Jonnie R. Williams again and again, lodging near constant requests for money, clothes, trips, golf accessories and private plane rides.
...

The two were charged with 14 felony counts, including wire fraud, conspiracy to commit wire fraud, obtaining property under color of their official office and conspiring to the do the same [sic].

They were also charged with making false statements to a federal credit union.

McDonnell was also charged with making a false statement to a financial institution, and Maureen McDonnell was charged with obstructing the investigation.

McDonnell denies he did anything illegal, in what appears to be a modified IOKIYAR defense. He also appears to blame the Bush recession for his troubles:

In addition to the Virginia Beach houses, purchased for $2 million in 2005 and 2006, the McDonnells also owned a $1 million home at the Wintergreen resort with his sisters and an $835,000 home outside Richmond. The first lady confided to friends that they were having trouble making mortgage payments on the homes and feared an embarrassing foreclosure that would likely become public.

Mrs. Governor Mo-Bob a former Washington Football Club cheerleader with "a long standing interest ... in wellness and diet" demonstrates a classic case of guilty knowledge which will make an ignorance of the law defense impossible.

She then engaged in a pattern of buying and selling the stock [in Star Scientific] that appeared as though it was intended to skirt state disclosure requirements, which require elected officials and their spouses to report stock holdings that exceed $10,000 in any one company.

She sold the shares for a loss in December 2011, just before the annual disclosure form was due in January, and then bought her shares back the following month, just days after the form was filed. In December 2012, with the disclosure form coming due again, she distributed the shares among her five adult children, meaning the couple once again did not have to reveal the holding when they filed in January.

If Va.'s disclosure laws actually allow such bullshittery, which seems doubtful, it's hard to believe they weren't designed with that specific purpose in mind.

Governor Bob would do well to cut a deal and throw Mrs. Mo-Bob under the Porsche Cayenne, before she does unto him.

Obscene as Cancer, Bitter As The Pud

Bill Kristol, a man who literally wouldn't give a second thought about you dying for his country, feels "we" have become too jaded about the glories of martial sacrifice.  Who're you gonna trust on this one, some Limey ponce who wrote poems, or the brains behind Dan Quayle, Alan Keyes and the invasion of Iraq?

Lest we forget: Not only Neo-Cons, but also the original Cons, were high on The Old Lie:

The phrase is located on the second monument of the Point Lookout Confederate Cemetery in Point Lookout, MD, and at the Confederate Cemetery in the Manassas National Battlefield Park.

A century of bitter disgust with Bill Kristol is too short.

Roger's Stolen Embedded Content Theatre

Swift Boat Veterans For Truth Clear John Kerry After Exhaustive 9-Year Investigation

When Howie Kurtz's Pants Are On Fire, His Ashburns

This kind of dishonesty makes Howard Kurtz uniquely qualified to host on Fox News.