Monday, April 07, 2014

Republican Family Values: Fuck A Duck Edition

A Godly man -- a man last seen wagging his Willie in the U.S. Capitol building -- has developed a taste for 'Cock:
"There's no doubt I've fallen short and I'm asking for forgiveness. I'm asking for forgiveness from God, my wife, my kids, my staff, and my constituents who elected me to serve," [Vance] McAllister said in a statement. "Trust is something I know has to be earned whether you're a husband, a father, or a congressman. I promise to do everything I can to earn back the trust of everyone I've disappointed."

He went on: "From day one, I've always tried to be an honest man. I ran for Congress to make a difference and not to just be another politician. I don't want to make a political statement on this, I would just simply like to say that I'm very sorry for what I've done.
"While I realize I serve the public, I would appreciate the privacy given to my children as we get through this," McAllister added. He and his wife Kelly have five children.
The 'Cock in quo is Melissa Peacock, a married staffer who's got Vance in her pants. Needless to say, Mrs. Peacock has already gotten the knife in the conservatory, while Duckfucker Vance continues to be a Teabag hero. In Louisana, a wingnut legislator can do no wrong, provided the 'Cock he fondles isn't attached to a penis. You can Depend on it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

No problem. He was forgiven BEFORE he transgressed as is every pious congressman who is protected by JESUSSHIELD(tm).