Get Out The Vote

In an effort to maximize Democratic turnout nationwide on Tuesday, Roger Ailes promises that for each state that Senator Kerry wins, this blog will post, on consecutive days beginning November 3, at least three items per day. Good ones, too.

Note: This does not constitute payment for votes, since I am offering nothing of value.

Speaking seriously -- although my promise is serious -- I have no illusion this blog has changed anyone's mind, or will change anyone's mind. And, at this point, there are no more minds left to be changed. There are only ballots to be cast.

It's up to all of us now. Let's not let ourselves down.

We can win.

We have the power.

Another Faux Whore

"In one sign of the enormous stakes involved for the Kerry campaign, campaign officials reacted furiously to a discussion on Fox News on Friday night in which a guest commentator, David Johnson, a Republican political operative, said it 'looks like an endorsement by Osama bin Laden of John Kerry.'

A Fox commentator, Alan Colmes, interjected, 'I don't think he's going to have a Kerry-Edwards sticker in the cave.'

But the anchor, Neil Cavuto, replied: 'He's all but doing that. I thought I saw a button.'

Kerry aides quickly demanded a retraction by Fox, and one threatened to throw the network's producer off the campaign plane."

From 30,000 feet, I hope.

Say Anything

Can I get a whore?

KURTZ: President Bush and Senator Kerry facing off on the trail during the final days of this campaign about the story dominating headlines this past week. "The New York Times," in cooperation with "60 Minutes," reported Monday that U.S. troops had failed to secure 380 tons of high grade ammunition at an Iraqi facility called al Qa Qaa...

DAVID FRUM, NATIONAL REVIEW ONLINE: I think it is a phony story. Look, there may be some truth in it. It may ultimately prove to be a good story. But I think "The New York Times" and CBS were very driven by their desire to get this out before the election. And so they did not...

KURTZ: Do you seriously believe -- I mean, this came to them from a letter written by the Iraqi interim government a few days before the story. Do you seriously think they said, a-ha, we can use this and we can get Bush with this story?

FRUM: No, I think what happens is one step more removed. It is very much like what happened with the forged National Guard story. I think that there are certain circumstances where the natural skepticism of some people in the media, their natural, their normal desire to complete the job gets eroded by their passions.

So in the forged documents story, here was something that was a pretty obvious fake, and yet Dan Rather was fooled. He was fooled because he wanted to be fooled.

KURTZ: This story is not fake.

FRUM: This is not fake. ...

Pornographers For Bush/Cheney

It's a few days old, but this story from the Los Angeles Times might explain how Sinclair Broadcasting CEO John-David Smith got his interest in prostitutes, and how he got that Mercedes he approached them in.

Long before the company began its march toward its current media empire, David Smith in the mid-1970s was a partner in a company called Cine Processors, according to public records and an interview with one of his former partners.

David E. Williams, a co-partner in the business with Smith, said the Baltimore company turned out hundreds of copies of 8mm pornographic films at a property which was owned at the time, records show, by the Commercial Radio Institute, the company founded and headed by Smith's father, Julian.

Williams -- who eventually had a falling out with Smith over expenses, and money Williams says he was owed for medical bills stemming from an automobile accident while on company business -- said that Cine dealt exclusively in pornographic films. Repeated requests for comment from David Smith, now 54, went unanswered.

Mark Hyman: "No, no, no, we were never going to show Stolen Honor. It was Swollen Honor!"

A Programming Note

James Wolcott, blogger and author of the Roger-recommended Attack Poodles and Other Media Mutants, will be appearing on C-SPAN2 this afternoon/morning. Wolcott writes:

Sunday at noon eastern time, C-SPAN 2 will be running the 90 minute chat Jay Nordlinger and I had about 2004 political books, hosted by the lovely and gracious Connie Doeble. It was probably best that C-SPAN vetoed my fun suggestion that Mr. Nordlinger and I dress up in Crip and Blood colors, for it made for a more civil exchange of reckless accusations and witty observations, such as my calling Bernard Goldberg "a disgruntled gasbag."

This should cleanse the palete nicely after a bitter breakfast of Pumpkinhead, Wolf and Howie the Putz.

Update: This program aired live last Thursday, so you can watch it here as well.

p.s. Nordlinger looks like Karl Rove's double, sans Rove's double chins. Feed Nordlinger a few cheeseburgers and he can do Uncle Karl's jail time for him.

Almost Daylight

Don't forget to set your clock back one hour on October 31.

Don't forget to turn the clock forward 100 years on November 2.

Markos Moulitsas Zuniga of the Daily Kos suffers the ultimate insult.

Do Not Call

Like most sane people, I've been enjoying the absence of telemarketing messages on my voice mail and the absence of evening interruptions from phone solicitors. I can't recall the last time I've heard from a carpet cleaner, roofer or vacation-scam peddler.

In the past few weeks I've gotten no recorded calls from political campaigns, either, even though I recieved many right before the elections in 2000 and 2002. I understood that political campaigns/candidates were exempt from the Do Not Call Registry legislation. Have politicians taken the hint from the popularity of Do Not Call and voluntarily abandoned the practice so as not to annoy potential voters?

(You know, if I was an actual reporter instead of just a blogger, I could investigate this.)

O'Reilly Post-Mortem

In comments, Cybelle asks:

Bill and his lawyers are claiming that there was no "wrong doing". wtf? Sexually harassing an employee and threatening her _is_ "wrong doing". What world do these people live in? Or is that some kind of lawyer speak for "this is over"?

It's lawyer speak for you can buy anything for enough money.

Many settlement agreements in civil suits contain a boilerplate recital that the defendant does not admit liability, that the settlement is only the compromise of a disputed claim, that the defendant is merely "buying his/her/its peace." The defendant denies fault, but the plaintiff does not agree.

The O'Reilly settlement contains a statement that the parties assert there was "no wrongdoing whatsoever" by any of the parties, which also means that O'Reilly is admitting Mackris and her lawyer were not trying to extort money from him. Which, implicitly, at least, negates the assertion that O'Reilly didn't do anything wrong -- O'Reilly is admitting that Mackris had good reason to demand 60 million (or whatever amount) from him based on his conduct. Or, to put it another way, that every accusation in his complaint was false.

In reality, the "no wrongdoing" recital is meaningless language that O'Reilly purchased from Mackris, presumably at a (steep) additional cost. It allows him to go on his program and indirectly proclaim innocence, while claiming he can't say anything more because of a confidentiality provision in the settlement agreement (which he presumably also demanded). Mackris, feeling fully compensated -- and also knowing that O'Reilly can't smear her -- could not care less. Her attorneys don't mind: they get a nice cut of the settlement as well as O'Reilly's written acknowledgement that his claims against them were baseless.

The irony of this story is that we've finally found one of those frivolous lawsuits the right keeps bitching about. O'Reilly admits that his lawsuit against Mackris and his attorney has no merit -- they did nothing wrong. Perhaps the New York State Bar should look into whether Mr. O'Reilly's (and FOX's) attorneys knowingly filed meritless litigation, particularly since O'Reilly wasted judicial resources -- his motion hearings -- suing people who were guilty of "no wrongdoing." (Of course, that won't happen, because the courts love it when litigants settle voluntarily, and it's hard to imagine any third party who'd have a basis to bring a claim based on a meaningless recital in a private contract.)

O'Reilly claims he did what he did to "protect his family." It's heartwarming to see a man pay millions to deep-six tapes in which he is heard abusing an underling and/or himself -- for the sake of his children. Welcome to the All-Vibrate Zone.

Retired CBS News political correspondent (a veteran of eight presidential campaigns) and Bruce Springsteen fan, Eric Engberg, passes along this press release:

PRESS RELEASE FROM "E STREET VETERANS FOR TRUTH"

The decision by Mr. Bruce Springsteen of New Jersey to publicly support the Democratic presidential campaign requires that we rock n' roll veterans step forward to tell the truth about gross fabrications concerning Mr. Springsteen's alleged career in music. As "cool rocking daddies" who were present for all 42,528 performances of the famed "E Street Band," or at least in the same state where the concerts were held, we can assert without qualification that Bruce Springsteen never performed with us. Furthermore, there is even substantial doubt that he can sing at all. While the real E-Street Band toured the nation and recorded countless hit records and CD's, this Springsteen imposter was wasting time racing in the street, stranded in the jungle, looking for work in refineries and taking a piss at fortune's sweet kiss. There is ample documentary evidence to support our charge.

Although he has claimed for himself the title "Boss," members of our organization, who will soon be appearing on Hannity and Colmes and all 6,400 Sinclair Broadcasting Corp. TV stations, have signed affidavits stating that he is not a boss; rather he is unfit to command. Said one member of the E-Street veterans, "Has anyone ever seen him sing? I mean his lips move and noises come out, but can anyone document actual singing?

As they say on Fox, 'You decide.'"

END PRESS RELEASE

Bush has had his chance to kill or capture bin Laden. The closest he's come was in that fantasy in Peggy Noonan's column.

I have no doubt that Kerry can do what Bush can't. After all, Kerry shot in the back an unarmed fourteen year old who was wearing a loincloth. I wouldn't want to fuck with someone like that.

Hollow Weenies

Per Jim Rutenberg, I'm duty bound as a lefty blogger to engage in especially viscious personal attacks on the virtuous, scrupulously honest presstitutes. Accordingly, as a public service, I offer this list of souless ghouls you will see this weekend, vandalizing your community with rhetorical bags of flaming dog-shit.

This is what they look like without their costumes:

Bill Gertz: Sailor Moonie

Mickey Kaus: Kaus Hackula (of course)

Dick Morris: Spanky, the Naughty Little Puppy

Rush Limbaugh: Cletus, the Crack-Whore Yokel

Bill O'Reilly: Sperm-Vibe-Sponge-Pants

Tim Russert: Pumpkinhead (hollow version)

Matt Drudge: Egghead (cracked version)

William Safire: Roy Cohn

John Tierney: William B. Shockley

Jim Rutenberg: Matt Drudge

Thuggery doesn't pay, but thugs do

I may have underestimated O'Reilly's payout. Ten million is even more than Brent Bozell paid for sexually harassing slandering Vince McMahon's company.

But why is FOX News surpressing the details of this story? Clearly it's trying to influence the outcome of the election.

John Gorenfeld reveals that Bill Gertz, the Moonie Times reporter who wrote the bogus claim of Russian removal of the al QaQaa explosives, is a favorite of the maniacal Messiah, the Rev. S.M. Moon. Moon expresses his love for Gertz here:

America is the most powerful country in the world. But its powerful leaders listen to the Washington Times. A statement from the Times can affect them dramatically. The government of other nations also listen to the Washington Times. Who at the Washington Times is having the biggest impact? [Bill Gertz.] Bill Gertz. How old is he? He is young. He only graduated from high school, joined the Washington Times and became famous. If you are a high school teacher, you should raise such students. If you are a college professor, you should become the most famous one in history.

Now that even Rummy and the Pentagon are denying the Gertz/Shaw claim of Russian relocation of the missing munitions, It's clear that the Moonie Times is not a reliable source on the al QaQaa story. But then the Moonie rag has never been reliable on anything.

By the way, can we all acknowledge that anyone stupid enough to link to Drudge on a pro-Administration story is, like Drudge himself, wholly lacking in credibility. It's beyond comprehension why supposedly intelligent people -- professors, authors, attorneys, etc. -- are eager to trash their own reputations by endorsing the claims of a proven fraud.

1-888-FOXVIBE: Two Million Dollars And Ninety-Nine Cents For The First Twenty Minutes...

It's been a rough week for Roger in a couple of different ways, but at least I've never had to pay people I've accused of being blackmailers, and then admit they did nothing wrong.

(Yes, I know O'Reilly negotiated a confidentialty clause to keep his payment secret, and if he wants to deny making a payment, I'll be happy to print his documented denial.)

Two Years Before The Hacks

Like everyone else, I forgot this blog's second anniversary last week. Roger Ailes first published on October 23, 2002, with a post insulting Dick Morris. Since then, I've posted 2,676 times. And each post was a gem.

For those looking to buy gifts, it's cotton (traditional) or obligation sex (modern). (The third anniversary is leather, so you can be sure I'll be around for at least another year.)

My sincere thanks to everyone for reading. It's been my pleasure.

That story about Katherine Harris obstructing traffic down in Florida reminds me of something.

Ah, here it is.

It's True: Guiliani Blames The Troops

I also saw this on The Today Show just minutes ago.

And check out this link from Atrios too.

The Shaw-Wank Deception

Deputy undersecretary for making shit up John Shaw and Moonie Times wanker Bill Gertz are peddling the Bush ass-covering story that the Russians carted off the tons of HMX and DMX compounds from Iraq in March 2003. The Russians say "Nyet."

MOSCOW -- Russia angrily denied allegations Thursday that Russian forces had smuggled a cache of high explosives out of Iraq prior to the U.S. invasion in March 2003.

Defense Ministry spokesman Vyacheslav Sedov dismissed the allegations as "absurd" and "ridiculous."

"I can state officially that the Russian Defense Ministry and its structures couldn't have been involved in the disappearance of the explosives, because all Russian military experts left Iraq when the international sanctions were introduced during the 1991 Gulf War," he told The Associated Press.

So why the fuck is the Administration calling for an investigation if its Deputy Undersecretary for Defense already knows what happened?

Three strikes, and Bush is out.

Make Howie Cry

Cowboy fetishist Howard "the Duck" Fineman wants you (and me) to stop saying personal and nasty things about him. Today's New York Times quotes the wimpy slime as follows:

"Most of us now realize that this is a constant conversation, and I think that largely that part of it is good," said Howard Fineman, chief political correspondent for Newsweek. "Some of the stuff includes very personal and nasty things about people - they go after people's physical characteristics, they'll say somebody's ugly - and you just have to ignore that."

Still, he said, "I would be lying if I didn't say it could be hurtful."

No, Howard, you are withholding your opinion if you don't say something. You would be lying if you repeated your pro-Bush reporting.

My general policy is not to comment on physical appearance or personal matters unless the target engages in such tactics (such as Kaus), the matter is relevant (hypocrisy) or particularly funny (e.g., toupees). But I would be lying if I said I consistently followed that policy.