Saturday, October 06, 2007

The Oral Tradition

The Lord thy God is a living God. Here, God speaks through the prophet Dick, son of Oral:

Richard Roberts is accused of illegal involvement in a local political campaign and lavish spending at donors' expense, including numerous home remodeling projects, use of the university jet for his daughter's senior trip to the Bahamas, and a red Mercedes convertible and a Lexus SUV for his wife, Lindsay.

She is accused of dropping tens of thousands of dollars on clothes, awarding nonacademic scholarships to friends of her children and sending scores of text messages on university-issued cell phones to people described in the lawsuit as "underage males."

At a chapel service this week on the 5,300-student campus known for its 60-foot-tall bronze sculpture of praying hands, Roberts said God told him: "We live in a litigious society. Anyone can get mad and file a lawsuit against another person whether they have a legitimate case or not. This lawsuit ... is about intimidation, blackmail and extortion."

God isn't a stickler for pronoun-antecedent agreement, it seems. And He's working for the U.S. Chamber of Commerce.

If that is You speaking, God, could You kindly drop the holy hammer on Bob Bork?

If you're wondering about the political party of the candidate Dick is charged with illegally assisting, you should read this blog more often.

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