Monday, August 18, 2008

Do I Offend?

Slacker that I am, not only have I not been credentialed to cover the DonkeyCon in Denver, I haven't offended that fat fuck Bill Donohue enough:

Over 120 blogs have been credentialed as members of the media for the Democratic National Convention; those who have received credentials are allowed to cover the Convention at the Pepsi Center. While most of them offer legitimate commentary, some do not.

Catholic League president Bill Donohue is protesting two of the blogs:

“The list of credentialed blogs include radical sites like The Daily Kos. Worse are blogs that feature anti-Catholic and obscene material. The two most offensive are Bitch Ph.D. and Towleroad.
Wait a second. My commentary is as illegitimate as Bill Donahue's 10 bastard children. Surely Bill should call for a boycott of my site as well.

Let's see when offends Friar Fuck:

"On the home page of Bitch Ph.D. there is a picture of two children: one of them is shown flashing his middle finger. Today's lead post, which was written August 17, is called "Jesus Christ." It begins with, "I'm a really crappy Catholic who hasn't been to mass in ages because most parishes around here 'will' insist on being aggressively anti-abortion….' The writer then objects to some children's toys on the grounds that they are more offensive than desecrating the Eucharist. The toys are actually balloons that have been made to depict Jesus in various poses, including a crucified Christ; one of these images shows Jesus with a penis. Several who commented on this image made patently obscene comments.

That's pretty bad. Everyone knows Jesus didn't have a penis.

I guess Bill really is Christ-like.

"Towleroad describes itself as 'A Site with Homosexual Tendencies.' Accordingly, it shows men in jock straps and underwear. It also has a post on Pope Benedict XVI that takes him to task for wearing a cape with ermine. Some of those who commented on this described the pope in a vile and profane way.

If the DNC bars Towleroad, they must also ban every publication and televison network which shows men in their underwear. Including the Sears catalog.

I demand that Bill Donahue immediately renounce and denounce me, that he spew me out of his mouth, and that he cancel that subscription to Manhole I bought him four years ago.

p.s. to Bill: You're seeing a penises and jockstraps where none exist. The "penis" is a balloon loincloth, and swim trunks are not underwear or a jockstrap. You clearly need more time in Pastor Ted's Reparative Group Therapy Encounter Workshops.

No comments: