Political Coverage Is Best Left To The Professionals

Yes, everyone makes mistakes, including your humble correspondent. And yes, it's just an e-mail press release. But the following doesn't give one much confidence in the professionalism of The Mouse Network, whose credibility is already undermined each day by the existence of The Note:

Washington, DC/ Carson City, NV – ABC News, ABC News Now and C-SPAN will produce the AFSCME forum in Carson City, Nevada on February 22, 2007 at 3:00pm EST, moderated by George Stephanopoulos.

ABC News Now will offer it live via the pool switch feed in Washington, DC. C-SPAN will carry the forum live on cable nationwide.

Candidates confirmed to attend, as of publication, in order of appearance at the forum:

(as determined by lottery)

United States Senator Chris Dodd, D-CT
United States Senator Hillary Clinton, D-NY
Former Iowa Governor Tom Vilsack, D-IA
Former United States Senator John Edwards, D-NC
New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson, D-NM
United States Senator Joe Biden, D-DE
United States Congressman Bob Kucinich, D-OH
Former United States Senator Mike Gravel, D-AK

I probably won't get credentialed after this. Oh well.

Update: ABC also sent out a correction that "THE FORUM IS ON WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 21st--- NOT FEBRUARY 22nd."

F.U., R.I.P.

The Sex Lives of The Saints

It's time for an upgrade. St. John McCain has earned the title of The Virgin Johnny.

After all, who has done more to promote the virtues of abstinence than the co-star of Wedding Crashers?

Dog's Balls

So much for the myth of the liberal school librarian:

Yet there it is on the first page of "The Higher Power of Lucky," by Susan Patron, this year's winner of the Newbery Medal, the most prestigious award in children's literature. The book's heroine, a scrappy 10-year-old orphan named Lucky Trimble, hears the word through a hole in a wall when another character says he saw a rattlesnake bite his dog, Roy, on the scrotum.

"Scrotum sounded to Lucky like something green that comes up when you have the flu and cough too much," the book continues. "It sounded medical and secret, but also important."

The inclusion of the word has shocked some school librarians, who have pledged to ban the book from elementary schools, and re-opened the debate over what constitutes acceptable content in children's books. The controversy was first reported by Publishers Weekly, a trade magazine.

I suppose now they'll defrock Laura Bush for telling a joke about her husband and another horse's dick.

One of the censorious librarians approached the scrotum from this angle:

Ms. Nilsson, reached at Sunnyside Elementary School in Durango, Colo., said she had heard from dozens of librarians who agreed with her stance. "I don't want to start an issue about censorship,” she said. “But you won't find men's genitalia in quality literature."

"At least not for children," she added.

On the upside, this will keep The Bible out of the hands of the kiddies.

Doctor, It Hurts When I Do This

From the apparently editorless front page of the New York Times On The Web:

Ugandans have flocked to see "The Last King of Scotland," which depicts an era they would like to forget.

I should've worn shorts today. It was almost uncomfortable.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Shut Down The Blood Alcohol Count Edition

Is lawlessness heredity? Is the daughter of someone drunk with power the child of an alcoholic? Will a sitting Supreme Court justice pervert the court of justice for his own family, or does he only do that for his party?

Following the example of the men her father installed as President and Vice President in violation of the law, the adult daughter of Nino "Fat Hands" Scalia has been arrested for Driving While Tinsleyed and child endangerment:

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia's daughter was arrested on drunken driving charges Monday night in Wheaton, police said.

Ann S. Banaszewski, a Wheaton resident, was arrested Monday around 7:30 p.m. at the intersection of Gamon Road and Longfellow Drive after someone reported seeing a possible drunken driver near the McDonald's at 2030 S. Naperville Road, according to a police press release.

Banaszewski's three children were also in the car, a 1996 Ford Ecoline van. At her request, the children were dropped off by police at a family friend's home, Wheaton Deputy Police Chief Tom Meloni said.

In addition to the drunken driving charge, Banaszewski was charged with endangering the life of a child. She was processed on both charges at the Wheaton Police Department and was released on a recognizance bond.

Meloni would not reveal the children's age, but said all three were under 17 years.

Banaszewski has hired a top shyster to file all sorts of motions Fat Tony would ordinarily sneer at. But I doubt Tony gives a rat's ass about his female offspring.

(Story via Martini Republic)

Marty In His Pants

Marty Peretz's marbles continue to clatter loudly on the floor in the virtual pages of The New Republic.

In this edition of The Spine, Peretz takes his arch-enemy, imaginary Nazi collaborator George Soros, to task over JetBlue's failure to deplane passengers during an ice storm:

I don't mean to be picking on George Soros. Particularly because it's not exactly his fault. But it's his money behind Jet Blue, and he must have had some say in the management....

The worst was a flight scheduled to take off for Aruba at 8:10 am. Let's say most of them boarded at 7:45. They were finally taken off the plane at 6:30 pm. In captivity: 10 1/2 hours. Passengers on other flights that had arrived but didn't disembark prisoners for eight to nine and a half hours [sic/wtF?].

They were also starving. The only "refreshments" served on Jet Blue are water, soda and crackers.

For the last few days I've been counseling Soros to get out of the foreign policy business. Maybe he'd due [sic] well to get out of the airplane business, as well. Jet Blue is not good for his reputation. Actually, pretty much like foreign policy.

Soros is a minority shareholder (9.7 percent) in JetBlue, not an operational manager or executive. He has nothing to do with the daily operation of the airline; nor do the owners of the other 91.3 percent (except for employees receiving stock as compensation). Only a lunatic would imagine that's how any airline is run.

Using the same analogy, you could make a (much better) case that Marty is personally responsible for every piece of crap in TNR written or edited by Andrew Sullivan, Lee Siegel, Fred Barnes, Stephen Glass and Ruth Shalit. Perhaps Peretz would dew/deux/dü well to get out of the magazine business, if TNR's former readers don't make that decision for him first.

But you've got to hand it to Marty for his use of rhetoric: "prisoners," "captivity" and "starving." Not subtle, but it gets his message across.

Meanwhile, what the hell is up with this post? Peretz wrote a piece for the McCarthyite Wall Street Journal in which he used the term "Democrat Party" to slander Dems. After he was called on it, he claimed that the phrase "crept" its way into his piece and "It was clearly not my intention for this construction to appear in the article." What Spinnin' Marty doesn't say is that he didn't write the words, or that someone at the WSJ changed his words. The only way for the words to creep in was for the creep to write them. Or maybe Marty could blame his stenographer.

(And you've got to love the sensible progressives who subscribe to TNR and thus have the keys to Marty's chat room: "Michelle Malkin is wrong to describe Joe McCarthy as some sort of saint. At best, he was a very flawed man who dared to take the Democrat(ic) Party traitors to task.")

A commenter reviews Faux News Channel's The Half-Hour News Hour:

I actually thought the "BO" magazine joke [about Senator Obama] was funny. The only funny bit. People here didn't seem to get it though. It's making fun of Oprah's "O" mag, and making a pun at the same time.

Of course, we all know Joel Surnow's favorite mag is Every Day with James Earl Ray.

(Comment at 2/15, 3:35 p.m.)

What The Last Post Was About

Howard Kurtz has a storyline and he's sticking to it: The media is giving Senator Barack Obama a free ride. The corollary and equally bogus claim from the Putz is that Willard "Muff" Romney is under attack by the biased press:

The press seems downright excited at the prospect of the first female president.

The idea of the first black president has journalists all but giddy.


But the first Mormon president? Whoa! That's a different matter.

The skeptical tone toward Mitt Romney's announcement has been impossible to miss. And the major reason is his religion.

"Will Mormon faith hurt bid for White House?" said USA Today's front-page headline on the day that the former Massachusetts governor announced.

Try to imagine a headline that said, "Will Jewish faith hurt bid for White House?"

I'll take that challenge.

Hmmm.... here's a query from the Putz's CNN colleague Paula Zahn, speaking to Holy Joe Lieberman immediately following his campaign announcement in 2003: "Do you believe the United States is ready for a Jewish president?"

Give me a hard one, Howie.

And let's not pretend that the media didn't run the exact same story about African-American and women presidents, and continue to do so, over and over again.

Now, try to imagine that Kurtz wrote an honest media criticism column.

Question For Willard

Q. "Do you hold your oath of office above your allegiance to Warren Jeffs?"

Rector-Johnson? I Didn't Know She Had A Johnson

This is all kinds of creepy and ten varieties of stupid. Patrick "F" Fagan, another right-wing sex obsessive at National Review, offers the following:

Meanwhile, their non-virgin sisters who married after they had given their virginity to someone other than their husbands were all by no means doomed to divorce, but the data indicate the majority was [sic]. From Steve Nock's research on Virginia divorces, we know that roughly two thirds were initiated by the wives. Extrapolating from Rector-Johnson's research I bet most of the wives in Nock's sample did not come to their husbands as virgins, but before marriage were already used to rejection and rejecting and to moving on to another man. This is just a hypothesis and it may be proved wrong, but checking it out will make for a very interesting study.

Apart from the sheer illiteracy of this statement -- I believe Fagan means to write the "most of the wives in Nock's sample who initiated divorces," but he's not clear -- there's the utter stupidity of the paragraph. Why is only the wife's virginity relevant to the success of the marriage? Why is the identity of the spouse initiating divorce relevant to the cause of the divorce? A wife initiating the divorce could be doing so because the husband was unfaithful -- or a hundred other reasons not involving her wanting to have sex with another man (or a woman). And many an unfaithful spouse has no interest in leaving the marriage. The identity of the spouse initiating the divorce tells us nothing about why the marriage ended.

Of course, the creepy part is that Fagan is "very interested" in studying the virginity history and sex lives of married and divorced women. Beware of phone calls from heavy breathing researchers at The Heritage Foundation.

(On the other hand, National Review has seen fit to sell advertisements accompanying Fagan's article which promise "A complete and informative guide on the art of cheating to perfection" and "Learn[ing] how to have the ultimate discreet love affair." It's nice to see free market conservatism trump "family values" conservatism for a change.)

The Prattle of York-Clown

Politc-ho Mike Allen tells us that Byron York's crayon scribblings on the Scooter Libby trial are a "must read." And if you have an interest in flaccid reasoning, York's column has much to recommend it.

The floppy-haired twit believes that it's a defense to a charge of perjury that, althuogh you repeatedly lied about material facts under oath, the prosecutor asked other questions which you answered correctly. It doesn't work that way, Yorkie, and if Libby's defense attorneys have to make such an argument to the jury, Scooter might as well turn in his belt and shoelaces right now.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Ossified Limited Hang Out Edition

Another Grand Old Pervert from Pennsylvania:

(CBS/AP) A former U.S. congressman from Pennsylvania was accused Wednesday of exposing himself to at least two women at a Florida beach resort.

Joseph M. McDade, 75, was issued a summons on a charge of "exposure of sexual organs," a misdemeanor that carries up to a year in jail and a $1,000 fine.

...

McDade was seen "masturbating on the beach and by the pool area of the hotel" by three witnesses on one day last month, according to police reports.

The Naples (Fla.) News reports that three police complainants detailed similar scenarios. The first witness said she saw McDade masturbating 10 to 15 feet away from her. The second said McDade followed his wife from the beach while masturbating, while the third said McDade watched her leave her lawn chair at the beach, and proceeded to follow her while masturbating, according to reports.

The third witness "thought Mr. McDade was a mental patient," according to reports.

McDade, a Republican, served in the House of Representatives from 1963 to 1999. He did not seek re-election in 1998.

Mac Dade-y has had other brushes with John Law: "He was the longest-serving Republican in the House when he was indicted in 1992 on charges he accepted gifts from defense companies in exchange for helping them win lucrative contracts." McDade, a graduate of Notre Dame, still works as a lobbyist. His clients include "Lockheed Martin Corp., Teledyne, General Dynamics, Northrop Grumman Corp. and Raytheon, among many others."

It remains to be seen whether McDade is still able to secure votes on a handshake.

If more people read this blog, there would be fewer dumbfucks in the world.

Or at least fewer obvious dumbfucks.

(It's) Slammer Time

Can it be? Will Scooter's defense team close its case without calling the witness that pretend lawyer Glenn Reynolds believes is the key to Scooter's freedom? On Sunday's Reliable Republicans, Glenn perfessed as only a great legal mind can:

I'm really kind of curious as to why we're not hearing from Andrea Mitchell, who I gather the defense wants to bring out but for some reason the prosecutor has been resisting that. And I'm a little hazy on exactly why the prosecution is resisting that.

Well, I Am Curious (Glenn) is a little bit hazy on anything law-related. But the defense will reportedly rest today without calling Ms. Mitchell.

And, in a crushing blow for A.Q. Strata, the defense won't be calling Dick Armitage for his blockbuster testimony that absolutely everyone knew about Valerie Plame and her covert status.

Why, oh, why won't Libby's defense team listen to wingnuttia's finest legal minds? It's like they want to lose.

Who's The Bigger Dumbfuck, Frank Gaffney, Jnr. or A.J. Strata?

When a wingnut quotes Abraham Lincoln, the quote is almost certain to be bogus.

Frank Gaffney Jnr. starts today's column in the Moonie Times with the following:

Congressmen who willfully take actions during wartime that damage morale and undermine the military are saboteurs and should be arrested, exiled, or hanged.

-- President Abraham Lincoln

Gullible chuzzlewit A.J. Strata then humps the "wonderful quote" like a mad dog, asking "Now who is going to argue with Abraham Lincoln?" and stating "Alliances and connections to our brothers in the South were not a big surprise or limited, so Lincoln's comments must be seen in his desire TO END the war quickly to stop the bloodshed." (Whatever the fuck that means.)

But, of course, Lincoln didn't speak or write like a third-rate blogger with his pants around his ankles after watching 24. The quote is entirely fabricated, and it originated in another Moonie rag, Insight. And these morons didn't even spend the two seconds needed to confirm the quote is bogus.

But the facts don't really matter to these types. They lied to start the war, they lie to keep the war going and they'll still be lying after the war is ended.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Twofer Tuesday Edition

SAN DIEGO – Poway defense contractor Brent Wilkes and former high-ranking CIA official Kyle "Dusty" Foggo, childhood friends from San Diego who got entangled in the Randy "Duke" Cunningham corruption scandal, were indicted Tuesday by a federal grand jury.

U.S. Attorney Carol Lam announced the indictments at an afternoon press conference, called the charges against the two men "breathtaking in scope."

The jury returned 11 counts against Foggo and Wilkes that include conspiracy, wire fraud, conflict of interest and money laundering. It charges Foggo with using his seniority and influence within the CIA to direct the awarding of contracts to Wilkes, his lifelong friend.

A second indictment, which included 26 counts, names Wilkes and New York-based mortgage banker John T. Michael, who co-owned a mortgage company that provided loans to Cunningham. It charges Wilkes with conspiracy, wire fraud, bribery of a public official and money laundering.

...

Court documents allege that Wilkes provided more than $700,000 to Cunningham in exchange for the former congressman corruptly influencing the appropriation of funds and the execution of government contracts to benefit Wilkes' company, Poway-based ADCS Inc.

Michael, 35, is charged with a single charge of obstructing justice, accused of trying to influence and impede a federal grand jury investigation by providing misleading and false testimony regarding Wilkes' role in paying off the $500,000 second mortgage on Cunningham's Rancho Santa Fe home.

...

The indictment alleges that Wilkes paid bribes to Cunningham in the form of cash, checks, lavish meals, trips, lodging, corporate jet travel, boats and prostitution.

The indictment says that on two occasions Wilkes provided prostitutes for himself and the congressman on two consecutive evenings on a lavish Hawaiian trip.

...

Foggo accepted tens of thousands of dollars in meals, gifts and vacations, and a standing offer of a senior executive position with ADCS. Foggo disclosed none of this to the CIA, according to the indictment.

...

Wilkes was a big contributor to Republican lawmakers who developed a series of businesses that specialized in landing federal contracts, with ADCS as his flagship.

Corruption, war profiteering and whores. Foggo and Wilkes are the embodiment of today's G.O.P.

Rape For Thee, But Not For Me

Does Professor Steven Bainbridge care about prison rape, or just about prison rape when the victim is a privileged endomorph like himself?

Linking to blogger citing an Ezra Klein post on the subject, Bainbridge states that prison rape is

an issue on which I have been writing for some time, as it is an important factor in evaluating the accelerating criminalization of agency costs.

In other words, prison rape should be considered in determining to whether prosecute CEOs, because a corporate head who's merely negligent or greedy but didn't defraud shareholders might be convicted and thereafter raped. Bainbridge also bemoans the fact that "when it comes to corporate executives, many people seem to see prison rape as an appropriate sanction."

Perhaps the Professor is equally concerned about the rape of dope dealers or burglars or of those falsely accused of crimes who are convicted because they can't afford competent counsel or they're a victim of corrupt cops. But I haven't seen that post. (The other posts the Prof links to criticize the prosecution of executives rather than the proliferation of prison rape.)

What I have seen is this:

Put bluntly, Dennis Kozlowski faces spending the rest of his life worrying about prison rape.

If we were confident that prosecutors could tell the difference between corporate criminality and mere bad corporate governance, and we were confident that prosecutors would content themselves with going after only the former, we might not care if the Kozlowskis of the world spent their days looking over their shoulders (so to speak). Yet, as the Kozlowski story illustrates, it's very hard to tell the difference between criminality and bad governance.

Indeed, as corporate law has long recognized, it can be difficult to tell the difference between good and bad corporate governance. As corporate law also has long recognized, there are serious costs associated with imposing high sanctions on executives.

So Bainbridge isn't really concerned with prison rape itself as much as the indirect economic consequences caused by risk-averse CEOs who place their own interest in not being raped ahead of the bottom line. And if you're not a top exec, whether guilty or innocent, don't hold your breath waiting for the Professor to champion your cause.

The Hack Strikes Back

From deep in the bowels of his online column (keep scrolling down), the Howie the Hack strikes back:

By the way, the Air Pelosi story seems to have crashed of its own weight. Once I found out that the House sergeant-at-arms had requested her plane--and I don't know why she didn't get that out right away--I agreed with Tony Snow that the whole thing was "silly." For those who wonder why I quoted two new and obscure bloggers as criticizing the speaker--along with David Frum, who kind of defended her--I often try to look for average bloggers in their pajamas (or dorm rooms or wherever) rather than just stick with the top 100. That doesn't give them the same weight as Instapundit or Kos or Power Line or the HuffPost, but it's another way of taking the cyberpulse.

Oh, really?

You say that:

Once I found out that the House sergeant-at-arms had requested her plane -- and I don't know why she didn't get that out right away -- I agreed with Tony Snow that the whole thing was "silly."

Maybe you should read your own hackery, How. Because on Friday morning, you wrote:

Pelosi has gone on the offensive, saying that Pentagon officials leaked the dispute for partisan reasons and that the negotiating was done not by her but by the House sergeant-at-arms. The flap made the network newscasts last night, although Tony Snow pointedly declined to pile on, calling the story "silly."

I don't see any agreement with Snow there, Howie. After you already knew that the Sergeant-at-Arms had requested the plane, and after Pelosi had gotten that fact out. (The Sergeant-at-Arms' statement had been out at least 14 hours by the time Howie's column went online.)

It's hard out there for ho, what with the internets and all. But just keep on lyin', and we'll keep on calling you on your lies.

It's funny because it's true.

(Thanks to Liars for Bush for the link.)

The Psychotic Method

Professor Ann Althouse invents a revolutionary pedagogical technique.

I fear Ann's employment as the Larouche '08 campaign blogger is now in jeopardy.

Shut Up, Memory

Can't get your expert witness's testimony into evidence at trial? Well, then just get it into the Washington Post and hope for the best.

I have no trouble with a newspaper reporting on events of relevance to an ongoing trial, even if those matters are inadmissible at trial. It's up to the judge to ensure that jurors don't read extraneous material and up to the jurors to follow the court's instructions. But perhaps the Post's readers should be told that the court found the defense's purported expert memory testimony to be a waste of time after the prosecutor demolished the expert's credibility. Perhaps Linton Weeks just forget that.

Why We'll Never Have A President Named Jack, Bill, Dick, Jerry, Jimmy or Abe

The rest home for aging male Beltway dead-enders known as "The Politico" is taking the G.O.P.'s anti-Obama talking points out for a test drive, and putting them in the mouths of nameless "Democratic" blowhards:

Even his name offers fodder for the critics. When he was growing up, his family, friends and teachers called him "Barry." Then as a young man, he started insisting on "Barack," explaining in a memoir published in 1995 that his grandfather was a Muslim and that it means "blessed" in Arabic. His dad, who was Kenyan, had gone by "Barry" -- probably trying to fit in when he came to the States, his son figured.

What's in a name? A way for Mike Allen to pad a particularly pathetic -- and phony -- tale of Democratic infighting and dirty tricks. Somehow Abe Lincoln and Dick Nixon managed to overcome the earth-shattering relevation that their family and friends had nicknames for them, but they nevertheless chose to use their given name in professional matters.

Apart from such stupidity, the entire piece is a fraud. The title promises to take the reader "Inside the Coming Effort to Dismantle A Candidate," but the article doesn't even try to do that. The piece quotes nameless "top Democrat[s]," "Democratic strategists" and jes' plain ol' "Democrats"1 who aren't sure Obama can go the distance, and it maps out Obama's perceived weaknesses (with no new revelations). Yet the piece contains not one word about an actual effort or plan by an actual Dem rival to attack Obama on the grounds outlined in the piece. In other words, not one inside detail. Perhaps any or all of the Democratic candidates have $12 million budgeted for a series of Barry-centric attack ads2, but, if they do, you won't learn about that -- or any other actual Dem's strategy in Allen's piece.

More significantly, the piece contains not one word about the real and ongoing campaign by the G.O.P. media to portray Obama as an anti-American, radical Muslim indoctrinated at a madrassa and a phony Christian. The effort isn't coming; it has already started. Only Allen pretends not to notice.

1 Genuine Democrats who bear no resemblance whatsoever to Joe Lieberman toady Marshall Wittman, Pat Caddell and Mickey Kaus, respectively. Really.

2 My suggestion: Still shots of Obama, Dave Barry, Barry Sadler, Barry Manilow and .... dissolve to ... Barry Goldwater. Ominous VO: "Can America trust its future to a President to named ... Barry?" If you're a Republican, replace Goldwater with Barry Bonds and Marion Barry, and film in black and white.

Update: Feck! Via Atrios, I see someone has stolen my patented and wholly original idea of making fun of hacks. And backing up their ridicule with linguistic research, just to make me look lazy. These Berkeley profs. will make my life miserable until the day I die.

Howie Kurtz, G.O.P. Bitch

Writing about the fraudulent Pelosi air travel story, fraudulent journalist Howard Kurtz spins for his masters:

Here's some typical blog reaction. Radiant Times:

"With all the fuss about global warming nowadays, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is complaining that she cannot have a huge jet to traipse across the country with her immediate family and political supporters. Does she realize what a huge government jet would cost the taxpayers? Maybe not, and maybe she does not care - who knows?"

Political Retch:

"What has happened to the democrats, now they want Pelosi to be treated like a queen? She and her band of freaks are starting to sound less and less like the peoples' choice to lead the country. If the plane isn't big enough then don't go to California, or better yet pay your own damn fare on a commercial jet. Silly [rhymes with witch]!"

How typical is this "blog reaction?"

Well, Political Retch is a blog with one -- that's one -- post. The one Kurtz quotes. The blog apparently didn't exist until yesterday morning at 8:38 a.m. If you do a Google search with "Politcal Retch" in quotes, it doesn't even show up. Yet Howie the Putz somehow managed to find the blog and promote it with no trouble whatsoever. The Lord works in mysterious ways.

And Howie manages to sanitize "Bobby G.'s" quote to make it more palatable for his G.O.P base. The Putz removes the word "bitch" from the post so the author looks like less of a bigoted cretin, and also removes the even more moronic middle of the post without using ellipses.

The other blogger, Radiant Times, is "a choral director specializing in working with singers with changing voices" who began blogging on February 1, 2007 and currently has a total of 93 pages visits, 30 of which are from today.

So, according to the Putz, "typical blogger reaction" to the Pelosi slander is uniformly negative, and comes from bloggers who have blogged a total of 9 days. For Kurtz, the typical bloggers -- and the only bloggers worth quoting -- are ones who spout uninformed right-wing opinion, not ones that actually searched for the facts and challenged the fabrications of the Moonie Times.

That's why you can't spell Howie without [colloquial abbreviation for a prostitute].

Spread Too Thin

I worry that our cable networks lack sufficient resources to cover both the death of Anna Nicole Smith and the diaper-wearing astronaut story at the same time.

Jean Jeane

James Wolcott catches the Depends crew mangling Ambassador Kirkpatrick's name in an ostensible tribute to the stone cold warrior.

It's not the first time and, barring the end of wingnut welfare as we know it, it won't be the last.

The value of torture.

The spiritual forbears of Abu Gonzales and John Yoo show us how it's done.

Tom Hilton says it all.

If you can't stand the speech, get the fuck out of the blogosphere.

Dear Ms. Kakutani,

Yes, Dinesh D'Souza is a dishonest, shrill little troll.

However, the title of the August 6, 2001 Presidential Daily Briefing is "Bin Laden Determined To Attack Inside The U.S." Don't give Bush a pass he doesn't deserve.

Tri-Corner Hacks

I've got to admit that the almost-never right Sully Joe got this one right:

Mickey Kaus accuses Joe Klein of having it both ways on the Iraq war. I'd say that's better than having no coherent position on the war at all, except fathomless bitchiness toward anyone who ever had the balls to take a stand. But that's Mickey - circling the drain of his own irrelevance. And bitchily attacking anyone who's trying honestly to do better.

Except that's not a drain, and we don't call it "circling" here in the United States. And Klein's as worthless as Kaus, except in writing skills. But those are minor quibbles.

The latest ploy from the hairless hack (Kaus, not Sullivan, or Klein) was to wonder who would suffer politically if the surge succeeded. Kaus's fantasy was that Dems (and Chuck Hagel, who took Kaus's spot in Vietnam) would suffer. Of course, no concern was expressed for those who have suffered pre-surge or those who would suffer because of the surge.

Here are the answers to the 2006 Roger Ailes Year-In-Review Quiz:

Part I -- Grand Old Police Blotter: The Year In Republicrime

a. Bob Ney -- 6. Conspiracy, making false statements

b. Chad Castagana -- 2. Terrorist threats

c. Jeff Skilling -- 4. Fraud, conspiracy, false statements and insider trading

d. Ted Haggard -- 7. Solicitation, methamphetamine use

e. Jack Abramoff -- 8. Bribery

f. Bruce Tinsley -- 5. Drunk driving, public intoxication

g. Bernard Kerik -- 10. Ethics violations (accepting/failing to disclose gifts)

h. Tom Noe -- 1. Embezzlement

i. Ann Coulter -- 3. Voting illegally

j. Randy "Duke" Cunningham -- 9. Fraud

Part II -- Who Said It?

1. "Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know - fiction!" Steven Colbert

2. "And he [Jack Abramoff] had made substantial campaign contributions to both major parties." Deborah Howell

3. "i always use lotion and the hand" Rep. Mark Foley (R-FL)

4. "Voters know it's hard to do a risky thing like define marriage as a legal entity that can take place only between an adult human male and an adult human female." Peggy Noonan

5. "You may end up with a different math but you are entitled to your math and I'm entitled to the math." Karl Rove

6. "Considering that all of this happened almost eight years ago, and that there are no files or notes that I've kept from that brief stint, it is simply my word against the liberal blogosphere on these examples. It becomes a matter of who you believe." Ben Domenech

7. "As the hobbits are going up Mount Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else." Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA)

8. "And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a big truck. It's a series of tubes." Sen. Ted Stevens (R-AK)

9. "I'm not Lee Siegel, you imbecile. If you knew who I was you and your n + 1 buddies would crap in your pants." Lee Siegel

10. "I didn't kiss him back." Sen. Joseph Lieberman (I-CT)

Part III -- Multiple Guess

1. Which one of the following moronic statements by a blogger is fake:

c. "All women with large breasts are sluts." -- Ann Althouse

2. Which of the following Senators voted for the cloture motion which allowed the nomination of Samuel Alito to go to a vote of the full Senate?

a. Robert Byrd (D-VW)
b. Joe Lieberman (D-CT)
c. Maria Cantwell (D-OR) (D-WA)
d. Mary Landrieu (D-LA)
e. All of the above

3. On his low-rated radio show, Matt Drudge offered the following defense of Congressman Mark Foley (R-FL):

b. "The kids are egging the Congressman on."

4. Which of the following drunks sought treatment before his high-profile scandal in 2006?

a. Charles Kennedy (Lib Dem -- Ross, Skye and Lochaber)

5. Which of the following Presidential hopefuls supported Bush's invasion of Iraq? (Choose all applicable names):

a. Sen. Joseph Biden
b. Sen. Hillary Clinton
c. Sen. Chris Dodd
d. Sen. John Edwards

6. The biggest loser, percentage-wise, in the November 2006 elections was:

b. Sen. Rick Santorum

7. The following author/s and book were featured on Meet the Press with Tim Russert:

a. Markos Moulitsas Zuniga, co-author, Crashing the Gates

8. Which 2008 G.O.P. presidential hopeful once said "Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno."

d. Sen. John McCain

9. In the November 2006 election, the Democrats gained how many seats in the U.S. House of Representatives?

d. 31

10. As of December 2006, the cost of Bush's invasion of Iraq is:

a. At least 354 billion dollars in U.S. expenditures
b. At least 3,000 U.S. soldiers' lives
c. At least 52,000 Iraqi civilian lives
d. Not one second of George Bush's sleep
e. All of the above

Part IV -- Dr. Phil In The Blank

1. "I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense."

2. Willard Mitt Romney.

3. Backdating options (2006-2007 business scandal)

4. "This fellow here, over here with the yellow shirt, macaca, or whatever his name is."

5. "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp."

6. Saparmurat Niyazov, also known as Turkmanbashi

7. Loans for Peerages scandal

8. Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid

9. "What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?"

10. "John McCain, what a maverick! Somebody find out what fork he used on his salad, because I guarantee you it wasn't a salad fork."

Part V -- WTF?

1. Dubai Ports World

2. Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act

3. Borat: Cultural Learnings of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

4. Open Source Media (Open Sores Media or Herpes L. Simonplex II will also be accepted)

5. International Atomic Energy Agency

6. Voice-over internet protocol

7. Six Party Talks

8. Iraq Study Group

9. Whiny-ass titty baby

10. American Israel Public Affairs Committee

Programming Notes

Having spent the last twenty minutes trying to sign into Blogger (a common occurrence with the "new" Blogger), please note:

1. The answers to the Year-In-Review Quiz will be posted tomorrow; and

2. Yes, Tom DeLay was House Majority Leader. I'm a moron.

Oh, and: Blogger sucks.

Roger's Super Bowl Prediction

I confidently predict that I won't be watching the Super Bowl this year. I haven't seen an entire Super Bowl since XX, when Mike Singletary and Sweetness led the Chicago Bears in 46-10 rout of the New England Pats. My interest that year was primarily in someone else who was attending the same viewing party, and only Tony Eason's 0 for 6 completions kept me from being the biggest loser of January 26, 1986.

I don't even know which network it's on this year. So I'll probably spend the time writing scathing letters to my HMO or (finally) posting the results of the 2006 Year-in-Review Quiz.

Not In This Dick's Armey

How low has Tom DeLay, the tiny toxic Texan, sunk? Well, now even Dick Armey thinks he's a scumbag:

I have my own understandings and feelings about Tom DeLay. ... I don't believe he's a good person, and I don't believe he ... should have been in public office.

Thanks a wad, Dick, for letting us know before DeLay became Speaker of the House.

(Link via Talking Points Memo.)

It's Not About The Putz

Yesterday, Howard Kurtz wrote about Judy Fucking-Miller's appearance under subpoena at United States v. Libby trial on Monday:

"The last person Judith Miller probably wanted to see yesterday was me."

Let's see. Prosecutor who imprisoned Miller for violating the law vs. annoying, egomanical yutz with a bad rug. Who would Miller rather not see?

And another question: Who's paying malpractice artist Bob Bennett since the New York Times canned Miller? A competent reporter would find out, but the Putz was too busy having daydreams of grandeur to do any reporting. The greasy-wigged hack must have been covering arrivals for the TV Guide Channel, because he spent the entire day at the trial and didn't report a second of the proceedings in the column.

The Sound Of One Hannity Clapping

In the New York Times, Alessandra Stanley critiques Sean Hannity's first televised visit to a whorehouse, which I alluded to last Sunday:

Underneath the flag-waving swagger, Mr. Hannity’s show is riddled with leftist subliminal suggestion and degrading, un-American images of violence and pornography. Last Sunday Mr. Hannity toured the Bunny Ranch brothel in Nevada and stood over two prostitutes lolling on a bed in skimpy lingerie, their hands placed between their legs, and asked them if they believed in God.

"Every week we will bring you a different side of the country you love," Mr. Hannity promised on the show's premiere on Jan. 7. Mostly, however, he seems to be exposing the worst excesses of godless capitalism.

...

But the Bunny Ranch visit was the last straw. While Mr. Hannity, who attended Roman Catholic parochial school, interviews scantily clad prostitutes, ostensibly urging them to quit and go to law school, the camera slowly moves from prostitute to prostitute, lasciviously lingering over the one with the largest, most exposed breasts.

"Is it all about the money?" he asks one young woman. "Yes," she replies patiently. "Any job is about the money."

The show was taped several weeks ago, but the prostitutes are still trying to wash the Hannity off of themselves.

I almost feel sorry for the other Roger Ailes. Neil Cavuto and John Gibson have been in his office every day, pitching specials on the peep show industry and begging for rolls of quarters.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Operation Moonshark Edition

The Reverend Sun Myung Moon, convicted tax criminal and the man Wes Pruden and Fran Coombs call both "God" and "Daddy," has been caught violating United States law again, according to Moon's co-conspirator, the Reverend Kevin Thompson:

The pastor of the Bay Area Family Church in San Leandro [Thompson] confessed to investigators almost immediately after he was caught, telling them that he and a few of his congregants had been hauling baby leopard sharks out of San Francisco Bay for more than fifteen years. Pet dealers from around the world paid handsomely for the beautiful and exotic fish and sold them to people for their home aquariums. One of Thompson's followers estimated they had hooked more than six thousand shark pups in all; the feds pegged the street value of the local church's operation at $1.2 million.

From the get-go, however, Special Agent Roy Torres of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration uncovered evidence that the shark ring extended beyond Thompson. Among his more telling discoveries was the close tie between the pastor and True World Foods, the nation's largest supplier of sushi-grade fish. Moon's followers launched True World in the 1980s after the church leader issued a series of lectures, extolling the virtues of fishing. While Moon's followers call him "True Father," he calls himself "King of the Ocean."

....


None of this circumstantial evidence, most of which Torres detailed in federal court records, established a direct link between Thompson's sharks and the King of the Ocean. But the pastor voluntarily made that link himself. In a 2003 sermon captured on audiotape, Thompson said he personally informed the True Father about the shark enterprise. "When I had the chance to tell our founder Reverend Moon about it ... he told me, you know, 'You need twenty boats out there fishing!'" he boasted. "He had this big plan drawn out, you know." Thompson, a Brit who speaks with a Scottish accent, also said he had to convince the excited Moon not to expand the operation, apparently out of fear that it would attract notice.

With this evidence, if the Feds decline to issue a warrant for Moon's arrest and demand extradition, the only rational conclusion is that the Bush Administration had given the edict not to pursue the messianic malefactor. But I'm not holding my breath. It wouldn't be the first time wingnut welfare trumped American justice.

The incriminating audio is here.

(Thanks to my reader for the tip.)

We Want Pre Nupt

Marty "The Wedding Singer" Peretz's fascination with the financial side of marriage surfaces once again:

Why doesn't Jane just retire from the business of giving the American people moral advice? She could live on the millions in royalties from her 23 exercise videos and God only knows how much Ted Turner gave her in alimony.

It's $80 million, Marty. But you don't have to call me G-d.

I Fart Huckabees

Who said this blog isn't classy?

It was a television moment that will long be remembered, Mike Huckabee's appearance on Press the Meat. Let's go to the videotape:

TIM RUSSERT (R-NY): ....But first, the 2008 race for the White House has begun. Sixteen candidates have already formed presidential committees. And this morning, it’s decision time for our guest, the former Republican governor of Arkansas, Mike Huckabee. Governor, welcome.

FMR. GOV. MIKE HUCKABEE (R-AR): Thank you very much, Tim.

MR. RUSSERT: Are you running for president of the United States?

GOV. HUCKABEE: No, Tim. I'm not.

MR. RUSSERT: Why?

GOV. HUCKABEE: Why what?

MR. RUSSERT: Why are you running for president?

GOV. HUCKABEE: I'm not running for president.

MR. RUSSERT: What?

GOV. HUCKABEE: I'm said, I'm not running for president.

MR. RUSSERT: You're not running... That's not what it says here. What the [bleep] are you doing here then? I cancelled a fluff for the Vice President for you.

GOV. HUCKABEE: So, Tim, how does it feel to be a material witness in a criminal trial?

MR. RUSSERT: (head visibly swelling) Jaisus, Mary and Joseph! Get your [bleeping] ass off my set! Who the Christ Almighty booked this [bleep]ing [bleep]? Who the [bleep] is next week's guest, Tom [bleep]ing Tancredo? That fecking Mormon [bleep]er?!? Jaisus Haitch Christmas on a cracker. Cut the camera. Saints [bleep]ing Preserve Us!

Okay, not exactly.

The reality was worse:

MR. RUSSERT: Let me ask you about a controversial aspect of your governorship. Wayne Dumond...

GOV. HUCKABEE: Yes.

MR. RUSSERT: ...a rapist who was convicted, sentenced in Arkansas, the parole board voted not to parole him in September of -- in August of '96. You announced that you were going to commute his sentence, and then the parole board reversed course and agreed to parole him, and you supported their decision to parole. He was, was freed, left the state, killed and raped someone else in Missouri. Do you regret supporting that parole?

GOV. HUCKABEE: You know, looking back, certainly I wish that I had known more than I knew, but here's what I knew: I never commuted his sentence; his sentence was commuted by my predecessor. When he was parole elibigle, he had not yet made parole. And I supported that he was parole-eligible. Later, the parole board did, in fact, give him their parole, supervised.

MR. RUSSERT: Did you talk to the parole board?

GOV. HUCKABEE: I did. But it wasn't about Wayne Dumond. I went there, even though there are some tabloid reports that tried to make it that I did, I went there to get acquainted with them because I hadn't appointed any of them. Out of all...

MR. RUSSERT: You never mentioned Wayne Dumond?

GOV. HUCKABEE: No, they brought it up to me. And, of course...

MR. RUSSERT: So you did talk to the board about him?

GOV. HUCKABEE: Only thing I said was this: They asked me did I think that he should be paroled, or something to that effect, and I simply said, "I think that his case has got to be given, you know, a serious look." What he apparently did when he left was horrible, Tim. But, you know, the issue is, he is a person who did a horrible thing before and after. I think all of us regret and have deep, deep, painful thoughts that someone could do something like this.

Now that's stupid even for a Republican.

Two other television highlights from today: Sean Hannity's America stops at a whorehouse, this time with a camera crew (no link); and "Doctor" Frank Luntz on After Words, expounding on how nasty blogs are, "especially those on the left." Hey, Frank. Fuck you and the toupee that rid in on you.

Scooter Libby is a real mensch:

[Cathie Martin] recounted a senior staff meeting at the White House in which Stephen J. Hadley, the deputy national security adviser, expressed anger after receiving a query from Andrea Mitchell of NBC. Ms. Mitchell had heard that the White House was blaming the C.I.A. for causing the president to inaccurately say in his State of the Union address that the British government had confirmed Iraq's efforts to buy uranium in Africa.

Ms. Martin made it clear earlier on Thursday that it was Mr. Libby who had gone out of his way to take on the task of speaking to Ms. Mitchell about that issue.

But at the July meeting in the White House, she said, Mr. Hadley made a point of turning around and looking directly at her as if to signify he knew she was Ms. Mitchell's source.

Ms. Martin was asked by Patrick J. Fitzgerald, the prosecutor, whether she was, in fact, the source.

"No," she said.

Mr. Fitzgerald asked what Mr. Libby was doing when Mr. Hadley was all but accusing her.

"He was looking down at the floor," she said.

And All The Crow You Can Eat

Perhaps I was too hasty in bashing Marty Peretz. I fear I've blown my big chance to snag a coveted dogsboy slot at TNR:

REPORTER-RESEARCHER

THE NEW REPUBLIC is looking for reporter-researchers for the 2007-2008 internship program. Job duties include reporting, research, and fact-checking for TNR and TNR Online stories, formatting articles and blog posts for the Web, and occasional clerical tasks. Reporter-researchers get to work with writers, editors, and have an open invitation to pitch magazine or Web articles. Political journalism experience is preferred (but not imperative); fluency with LexisNexis and other search techniques is mandatory. The yearlong job begins in late summer 2007 and pays $264 (plus substantial overtime) per week with health insurance.

If I suggest replacing "fluency with LexisNexis" to "proficiency with LexisNexis," can I have an editor's job?

On the other hand, it's nice to see TNR fill Peter Beinart's job while he's serving in Iraq.

Desperate Housewives

Marty "The Wedding Singer" Peretz is getting quite catty. Last night, the Harvard hairless hissed:

John Forbes Kerry is not running for president, and that's because no one was following him in his race. Well, maybe Teresa. But maybe not.

No such trouble for Marty. When he's kept, he stays kept!

Well, I certainly didn't vote for failure, but there he was on my radio, giving the State of the Union Address.

Write Your Own Joke

Current top "Latest News" headline on CNN.com:

CNN Hummer: $1.25M for charity

Howard Kurtz, Illiterate Hack

Howard Kurtz has a problem with the First Amendment. He's never read it.

On this morning's Reliable Republicans, Kurtz interviewed Mike Stark of Calling All Wingnuts about Spocko's brilliant campaign to expose KSFO's brand of bargain-basement bigotry to unsuspecting ad buyers. At one point, Kurtz said to Stark, as a statement not a question,

"but you seem to have a problem with the First Amendment."

Yes, a media critic who doesn't understand the First Amendement. Of course, Stark, a citizen holding no political office, couldn't violate the First Amendment if he tried. And Stark didn't call upon the government to silence KKKSFO. But for Kurtz, the mere act of criticizing the haters who call for the murder of Nancy Pelosi, Bill Keller and millions of Muslims is not an act of free speech but a violation of the constitution.

To be fair, Howie did select Fred Flintstone to provide the counterpoint to Stark. But since Howie was making all the points Fred couldn't manage to spit out, Fred was superfluous.

(Link to transcript when it becomes available.)

Update: Link added above. The exact quote was "you seem to have a problem with the First Amendment," not "It seems to me that you have a problem with the First Amendment." Same thing.

Hope Is Not A Platform

I didn't an e-mail from his staff, but since Senator Sam Brownback (R-KS) also announced his Presidential candidacy today, I thought I'd give him some of the spotlight too. Here's Sam on Iraq:

After my recent trip to Iraq, I am even more convinced that the situation there is precarious, but hopeful. I see hope in the Iraqi people. I believe this hope will be the foundation of a new Iraqi society. Much remains to be done, and I think we need a plan to turn this country over to its citizens. I will continue to work with the leaders in our country, as well as leaders in Iraq, to find a solution that protects the future of Iraq, and the pride and dignity of its citizens.

Profound. If the G.O.P. nomination eludes Sam's grasp, there's always the Miss America Pageant.

Socks and The Nazi

TNR sock monster sprezzatura has reemerged in the pages of The New York Times Book Review, penning a long-ass review of Norman Mailer's novel The Sex Life of Adolf H.. Scenes from Mailer's opus deemed worthy of analysis include the following:

After (unforgettably described) sex with Adolf's future father, Alois Schicklgruber, Hitler's future mother, Klara Poelzl, experiences a guilt that is "as heavy as a waterlogged tree."

In a travesty of nature and procreation, the young Adolf Hitler likes to masturbate on leaves.

Somewhere along the line, Dieter remarks on "that curious human nature, which forces its way into existence between the hazards of urine and excrement, yet will later dream each night of a noble life." Inter faeces et urinam, another of this novel’s themes, is a further twist on "nakedness" and on mortal helplessness.

.... Adolf, whose onanistic sessions are like "being shot out of his own cannon."

In the midst of the review, sprezzatura returns to a favorite theme:

Ours is an age of mockery and sarcasm, when even irony is belittled for being secretly sincere about its lack of conviction.

Mockery, sockery! If you write about Hitler beating off as lit-ra-chure, you've got to expect to some snark.

The Power Broker

Top Democratic Presidential hopefuls are personally having their staffers vie for the Roger Ailes endorsement in the all-important Roger Ailes Primary. They know this blog can deliver more than 1,200 of the smartest and most civic-minded blog readers on a daily basis. (1,201 to be precise.)

Here's a personal invitation I recieved just this morning from my close personal friend, Peter Daou:

I wanted to personally invite you to visit hillaryclinton.com and view Sen. Clinton's announcement that she will form an exploratory committee to run for President. And I'd like to invite you to join the senator for a live conversation with America – an unprecedented series of video webcasts beginning Monday, January 22nd at 7pm EST for three nights. We are also asking people to submit posts in preparation for the upcoming launch of the official campaign blog – one entry will be selected as our first guest post.

As you may know, I've been communicating with bloggers and online activists on behalf of Sen. Clinton since last summer and I'd like to extend an invitation to you to contact me directly with any feedback, questions, comments, criticisms, compliments, or anything else you'd like to tell the campaign as we move forward.

I can be reached here: [gmail address removed to prevent spamming]

I'd also like to say that I'm excited to be working with several colleagues who you may be familiar with: Judd Legum (who will be the campaign's research director), Crystal Patterson, and Jesse Berney.

I look forward to hearing from you…

Best,


Peter

P.S. Please feel free to pass this along to fellow bloggers.

The ball's in your court, Senator Dodd.

Racist Profiling

Wide-load bigot Jonah Goldberg is so filled with hate that he can't be bothered with the facts:

Re: The Flying Imams: [Jonah Goldberg]

My apologies. Earlier this morning — pre-coffee - I posted about how the Flying Imams would get a refund. I was wrong entirely and utterly, misreading the article and the email in which it was forwarded. It was a different group of Muslims, on a different airline. Rather than foment more confusion, I took the post down. Again, I regret the stupidity on my part.

Hate is the default setting on Goldberg's dessicated brain. The Los Angeles Times must be very proud.

If anyone's got a copy of the deleted post, let me know. It must have been quite vile for the pantload to run from it so fast.

Here's the story the pantload couldn't bother to read. Different continent, different destination, different circumstances, different date, different everything. But to Goldberg, they all look alike.

Value Subtracted

The flip-flopping Tool, Scott Johnson, was for the slander before he was against it.

Scott "Not Asssocket" Johnson is counselling caution concerning Neal Sher's smear of former President Jimmy Carter. (See below.) "No story should be accepted based on Sher's word alone," declares the newly-prudent prat.

Which is funny, considering Johnson was pimping "Sher's invaluable recollection" based on Sher's word alone just two weeks ago. The price of a Sher has fallen almost faster than Powerline's credibility.

Warren Bass on Dickless D'Souza:

D'Souza, the author of the bestselling Illiberal Education, has no particular expertise on terrorism, which may explain why he writes twice that there are U.S. troops in Mecca (someone should probably alert Bob Gates) or why he thinks that President Reagan's 1986 airstrikes on Libya "convinced Qadafi to retire from the terrorism trade," despite the bombing of Pan Am 103 by Libyan agents two years later. But D'Souza's inexperience doesn't explain why he so badly misreads bin Ladenist ideology, despite the peppering of jihadist quotes that he uses to lend the book a sense of authority.

Is there any amount of incompetence of dishonesty which will deny a book contract to a right-winger? The publisher of this crap isn't WorldNutDaily or some Scaife whorehouse, it's Doubleday.

Radio Kills

Jennifer Strange, a mother of three from suburban Rancho Cordova, died last Friday of apparent water intoxication just hours after a failed bid to win a Nintendo Wii video-game system for her kids in a promotion dubbed "Hold Your Pee for a Wii."

...

A tape of the program, known as the "Morning Rave" on KDND-FM (107.9) "The End," reveals that the potential fatal effects of drinking too much water were raised during the course of the contest, with one on-air host mentioning the 2005 death of a college student during a hazing ritual in Chico. A listener also called in to advise against the stunt.

Strange -- one of 20 contestants -- initially joked lightheartedly with the show hosts as she and the rest chugged bottled water. But as the hours wore on, it came down to Strange and one other woman for the grand prize, and she admitted to having a splitting headache and feeling wobbly. Strange quipped on air that "it looks like I'm pregnant again."

...

A preliminary review by the coroner found she likely died of water intoxication, also called hyperhydration. People who drink too much water too fast can dilute their bodily fluids, creating potentially deadly shifts in their electrolyte levels.

...

Officials at Entercom Communications Corp., the station's Philadelphia-based owner, fired 10 people from KDND on Tuesday, including station manager Steve Weed, promotions chief Robin Pechota, producer Liz Diaz and the five on-air personalities involved in the show -- Adam Cox, Steve Maney, Patricia Sweet, Matt Carter and Pete Inzerillo. None returned calls for comment.

Alberto Gonzales has already offered them jobs at Bush Justice.

Here's some of the wacky radio banter soon to be known as Exhibit "A":

Female caller named Eva: "I want to say that, um, that those people that are drinking all that water can get sick and possibly die from water intoxication." DJ: "We're aware of that." DJ: "They signed releases, so we're not responsible. It's OK."

Sher and Smear Alike

Various wingnuts are drooling over the allegation in this article claiming that then-former President Carter allegedly requested leniency for a Nazi war criminal living in the United States.

Here's what we know about the accuser:

Now, the 56-year-old [Neal] Sher is unemployed. And, on Aug. 28, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit stripped him of his D.C. law license. The move comes roughly one year after Sher conceded he had made "unauthorized reimbursements" of travel expenses from the International Commission on Holocaust Era Insurance Claims, where he served as its chief of staff. He resigned from that position in June 2002.

...

In 1998, several European insurance companies reached an agreement with Holocaust survivor groups, state insurance commissioners and the Israeli government to pay the families of Holocaust victims, who had earlier been denied insurance benefits. The insurance companies pledged millions of dollars, and the International Commission on Holocaust Era Insurance Claims was created to help evaluate claims and disburse the money. Sher was hired as its chief of staff.

The commission came under fire early on for taking too long to process claims and for its refusal to make its finances public. In May 2001, the Los Angeles Times, citing internal commission documents, claimed that the commission had spent $30 million on salaries and outreach efforts, while paying out just $3 million. Later that year, a House committee held hearings at which Rep. Henry Waxman, D-Calif., threatened to subpoena commission records. Commission Chairman Eagleburger, however, maintained that Congress had no authority over the group.

...

Two and a half months after the divorce was filed, The Baltimore Sun published a lengthy investigative article on the commission's expenditures. The article, which relied upon internal commission documents, reported that Sher had claimed to spend $136,653 in travel expenses in 1999. The article stated that the airfare alone for trips to Rome and Berlin often was $5,000 or more per trip. The article also noted that Sher had quit the commission just a few weeks prior to the article's publication.

Some details about what happened between Sher and the commission are still unclear. Eagleburger, in his statement to Legal Times, said that Sher was placed on administrative leave after admitting to the improper travel expense reimbursements. The commission's outside counsel, Thomas Howard of the D.C. office of Ballard Spahr Andrews & Ingersoll, conducted an internal investigation. Howard's findings were then reviewed by one-time FBI director and former federal Judge William Webster III of the D.C. office of Milbank, Tweed, Hadley & McCloy. Sher paid back the commission, including the money it cost for the group to conduct the inquiry, and quietly resigned. According to Eagleburger, Webster recommended that no further action be taken.

Let's look closer:

However, the respondent [Neal Sher] admitted in his affidavit of consent to disbarment, which was annexed to the petitioner's notice pursuant to 22 NYCRR 691.3, that on 20 occasions between August 1999 and March 2002, while serving as the chief of staff and chief counsel to the ICHEIC, he filed claims for reimbursement which contained deliberately inflated statements regarding expenses incurred for air travel. The respondent admitted retaining $106,426.53. This sum was the difference in the price of coach class airfares that he actually purchased, as opposed to business class fares that he submitted as claims for reimbursements and which he was authorized to purchase, but did not.

...

Based on the evidence adduced, the motion and cross motion are granted to the extent that the Special Referee's report is confirmed. Notwithstanding the mitigation advanced by the respondent and the remorse expressed, he is guilty of serious professional misconduct which involves dishonesty, fraud, deceit, and misrepresentation. This misconduct warrants a one-year suspension.

Stealing from a Holocaust survivors' compensation fund. Dishonesty, fraud, deceit and misrepresentation.

Being a wingnut means never having to say you're a gullible dipshit.

Republican Idol

It looks like there's a three-way race for the quintessential Alan Keyes podium at the G.O.P. presidential debates:

Nobody seems very sure why Rep. Tom Tancredo (R-Colo.), the anti-immigration crusader, has thrown his hat in the ring for the presidency. No one believes he can win. A key lesson of 2006 is that the immigration issue is not an automatic winner for Republicans, and Tancredo is also not expected to raise the kind of money needed for a serious race. Many also believed that he would stay out after Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-Calif.) announced his candidacy, since that put an immigration hawk in the race. But in fact, Duncan's presence in the race had less effect on Tancredo than the decision of libertarian Rep. Ron Paul (R-Tex.) to seek the nomination.

Tancredo got in anyway. He won't have the immigration issue to himself, but as long as he stays in, he may have to himself the anti-Bush mantle in the GOP primary. It is not expected that any of the other candidates (except maybe Paul) will denounce Bush for the GOP's decline, as Tancredo did Tuesday in an appearance on Tucker Carlson's afternoon program.

Of course, the inclusion of these loons will allow the G.O.P. and its media allies to claim that the party's more-polished loons, Willard Romney and John of Arc, are middle-of-the-roaders. But these chumps don't even have the amusement potential of Steve Forbes or Gary Bauer. Come back, George Allen, your party needs you.

(Quote from Novakula, click here at your own risk.)

Some Gave None

At last, someone has discovered the substantial personal price that "Doctor" Condoleezza Rice has made in re: Iraq. Debb Saunders has the details:

Actually, Rice is paying a personal price. She has not lost a son, but Rice has had to live with whatever policy mistakes she helped make, and she has put her life at risk when visiting Iraq.

Kind of like those doctors who kill so many patients they have to live with added malpractice premiums. Of course, Condi gets to live with the mistakes she made, while those on the recieving end of Condi's mistakes don't have that burden at all. They should be thanking Condi, those decomposing ingrates.

The rest of Debb's column contains not only the usual clownish distortion of Boxer's remarks, but also manufactures an entire new army of strawmen which have nothing to do with Boxer's remarks. Saunders quotes Faux journalist David Assman, who criticizes those who call U.S. soliders "kids" (which Boxer didn't do), a solider's mother who says Boxer doesn't speak for her (which Boxer didn't claim to do) and the mother of a deceased solider who's pissed off she doesn't get as much teevee time as Cindy Sheehan.

Soup Nazis

When I first heard the rumors about Hot Soup and its high-minded malarkey, I thought they must have been some alcohol-induced hallucination. Which was odd, because I haven't taken a drink in years.

But apparently Hot Soup exists. Julia has the details on Hot Soup's Gerald Ford Challenge(TM), which reads as follows:

In honor of Gerald Ford, his decency, and the tremendous sacrifices he made to heal this country at a time of division, I pledge to spend 2007 working towards a similar depolarization – by cooperating with peers from opposing camps, by putting my countrymen's needs before my party's, and by making sacrifices if necessary. We stand stronger when united, and I pledge to lead my country by good example, just as I have been led by Gerald Ford's good example. I pledge to spend 2007 working towards that strong unity, and I dedicate that work to Gerald Ford's memory.

I don't have any great dislike for Ford, but the legacy of Gerald Ford is not a legacy of putting his countrymen's needs before his party's or making sacrifices. The Nixon pardon was what the Republican Party needed, not what the country needed, no matter how many thousands of Beltway monkeys type that line for a thousand years. Ford may have sacrificed his own chance to be elected President (which were non-existent at best before he was named V.P.), but his pardon immunized the Republican Party from the disclosure that its corruption was party-wide and deep, and not localized to the White House.

As for Hot Soup, I don't need a bunch of p.r. firm whores to tell me how to think about America. Those clowns wouldn't know sacrifice if it was rammed up their expense-account-padded fat asses.

Right now on Hot Soup (no link for you!) such unity-minded, self-abnegating non-partisans as Newt Gingrich and Mary Matalin are addressing the pressing issue of what they would do if Bill Gates gave them $10 billion dollars. (Playing along, Newtie and the Beast don't mention their dream of a privately-funded nuclear annihilation of Teheran.) For the Soup Nazis, partisanship is a character deficit exclusive to those you don't break cocktail weenies with.

Slander

Today on Press The Meat, Pumpkinhead Russert repeated the slander that Joe Lieberman (Me-CT) is a Democrat.

Lieberman repeated the slander that anyone who opposes the escalation is a 9/11-terrorist-loving loser. Oh, and he's supporting the escalation for his children and his grandchilden, apparently because they're too busy to do it themselves.

Three Generations of Imbeciles Are Enough

Jason Zengerle doesn't just wax moronic when he's defending Joek Lein. Here's Jay-Zzzz's fascinating blog scoop of today's date:

Lest debate over the surge cause Congress to take its eye off the truly important things, Republican Senator Kit Bond of Missouri introduced S.247 yesterday. Its title:

A bill to designate the United States courthouse located at 555 Independence Street, Cape Girardeau, Missouri, as the "Rush Hudson Limbaugh, Sr. United States Courthouse".

Rush Limbaugh Courthouse?! Evidently Rush Jr--the one of reptilian radio fame--was born to a prominent Missouri lawyer who practiced until his death, at 104, in 1996. But still: the Rush Limbaugh Courthouse?! Please don't tell me Hannity's father was a lawyer, too.

Evidently not. Rush Jnr. was the father of Rush III, the one of hate radio, boner pill and pain pill abuse fame. If Rush Snr., born in 1891, was the father of Big Pharma, born in 1951, then there was some sick shit going down in Cape Girardeau a half-decade ago, namely, a 60-year old man was impregnating his son's wife.

On the other hand, that could explain everything.

Including Fredo.

Update: At the risk of engendering phoney baloney outrage, I'll hazard that the chances of a Rush Limbaugh IV are fat and none.

Spikey Mikey Rides Again

Lucianne's lapdog, Mike Isikoff, hasn't been paying much attention to politics the last seven months or so. Today*, he and Mark Hosenball write:

Jan. 11, 2007 - Sen. Joe Lieberman, the only Democrat to endorse President Bush's new plan for Iraq, has quietly backed away from his pre-election demands that the White House turn over potentially embarrassing documents relating to its handling of the Hurricane Katrina disaster in New Orleans.

Later in the article:

Still, Lieberman’s more accommodating position is likely get more attention, especially because of the Connecticut Democrat's increasingly close relationship with the White House.

Maybe Spikey's been bamboozled by the Bushit Moose, who he quotes in the article:

Wittmann says Lieberman is trying to take on the role that Henry (Scoop) Jackson played in the 1960s and 1970s -- a tough "national security" Senate Democrat who was willing to cross party lines to work closely with Republican presidents like Richard Nixon and Gerald Ford. "That's the tradition he is following," Wittmann said.

The article is important because it shows that Lieberman lied to Connecticut voters about holding Bush accountable for his monumental mishandling of Katrina. Also significant is the statement from Lieberman's flack that Holy Joe "answers only to the people who elected him to office and to his own conscience." Shorter Joe: Fuck you, Connecticut.

* The article is dated January 11, but was purportedly "Updated: 36 minutes ago."

Roger's Medical Corner

Good news for everyone but Mickey Kaus. Senator Tim Johnson (D-SD) is continuing to recover from his recent brain hemorrhage:

WASHINGTON — Sen. Tim Johnson has been transferred out of intensive care and has said some words, his doctor said Thursday, nearly a month after the South Dakota Democrat suffered a brain hemorrhage.

An MRI on Wednesday showed the speech centers in the senator's brain were spared injury in the initial hemorrhage Dec. 13, said Johnson's neurosurgeon, Dr. Vivek Deshmukh.

"This is confirmed by the fact that he is following commands and has started to say words," Deshmukh said in a written statement released by Johnson's office.

Things To Do In Denver When You're Dem

The New York Times is reporting that Howard Dean has selected Denver as the site of the 2008 Democratic Party Convention.

The Republican convention will be held in either Salt Lake City or up George Bush's ass, depending on whether Willard Romney or John McCain is the nominee.

This is good news for us West Coast rappers, even though Dean passed over the most appropriate choice, San Francisco. The 3,000 mile trip and thin air will render the Beltway pundits more disoriented than usual. Me, I'm already polishing up my resume to snag one of those all-access blogger credentials.

Surge Overkill

Meanwhile, here's how seriously the right takes the escalation:

Joementum! [Kathryn Jean Lopez]

Senator Lieberman was the only senator who gets mentioned in the president's speech. If this surge works he can take credit and run for president as a third-party candidate.

As much as I love kicking Joe Lieberman around, I don't think it's worth the inevitable costs of escalation just to provide me with easy targets.

And Joe would never run as an independent; a McCain co-presidency is the only job he'll consider.

Chesty Morons

That about sums up JoeK lein and Jason Zengerle, the big swinging tits of the Serious, Responsible Democrat Brigade.

Of course, it all started with JoeK strapping on the posing pouch and posing this poser:

And so a challenge to those who slagged me in their comments. Can you honestly say the following:

Even though I disagree with this escalation, I am hoping that General Petraeus succeeds in calming down Baghdad.

That was fun.

Now let's try these -- agree or disagree?

Even though I disagree with this escalation, I am hoping that General Petraeus succeeds in calming down Baghdad at the cost of 3,000 more American lives.

Even though I disagree with this escalation, I am hoping that General Petraeus succeeds in calming down Baghdad at the cost of 40,000 more Iraqi lives.

Even though I disagree with this escalation, I am hoping that General Petraeus succeeds in calming down Baghdad, even if it means redeploying troops from Afghanistan.

Even though I disagree with this escalation, I am hoping that General Petraeus succeeds in calming down Baghdad at a cost of another $300 billion and the consequences to the U.S. economy which will result.

Start playing in the real world, JoeK. The "unserious" Democrats and lefties to whom you ascribe impure thoughts and motives are not rejecting a new Garden of Eden in order to deny Bush a victory lap, they're opposing the real-life consequences of a real war strategy. Even if you assume the Bush Administration could actually implement a strategy successfully (and why would you?) and that this strategy in particular could succeed, you can't pretend the strategy won't have substantial costs.

Now let's try this one -- agree or disagree?

Even though I disagree with this escalation, I am hoping that General Petraeus succeeds so my irrational hatred of the anti-war left is vindicated, at least in my overheated imagination.

Well, do you, punk?

Is the Scooter Libby Legal Defense Trust trying to bamboozle visitors to its website into thinking that Dick Cheney is making a personal plea for contributions to Scooter's defense fund?

At the top of the Trust's petition webpage, you see the following quote:

Scooter Libby is one of the most capable and and talented individuals I have ever known -- Vice President Dick Cheney

(Not the kind of guy who would make a mistake under oath, is that what you're saying, Dick?)

Beneath the quote is a bar with various site links ("Home," "About the Trust," etc.). Immediately beneath that, the text continues:

For five years, Scooter Libby served in the White House as one of the finest public servants. Recent press revelations regarding the CIA leak investigation have once again reminded us of the grave injustice done to my friend, Scooter. We now know who disclosed the identity of Valerie Plame. We now know that Scooter had nothing to do with it. And we now know that the special prosecutor has known this all along, but asked the true leaker to keep quiet.

Please sign the petition below and show your support of Scooter Libby.

The latter paragraphs aren't attributed to anyone, although they're written in personal, first person terms ("my friend," "we know"). Of course, when you sign the "petition," you're transferred to a page requesting contributions.

I'd bet a great many people reading that page would think the entire text is a personal solicitation from Dead-Soul Dick. Hell, it could be for all I know. So is Dick actually panhandling for the sleazy smear merchant, or is the Trust simply trying to swindle the chumps with a misleading text?

p.s. -- What ever you do, don't sign the petition as Mike Hunt or Judy Miller or Joe Lieberman. Show some creativity!

p.p.s. -- Even death hasn't diminished Jeane Kirkpatrick's support for Scooter.

p.p.p.s. -- If you feel like you need a shower after viewing the Trust's Advisory Board, this might be your best disinfectant.

Rice Farmer?

Is Condi going back to Stanford, where it doesn't matter how much she lies and fucks things up? The Provost spot is filled, but I hear there's an opening for tree mascot.

(via TPM)

Hack Offs

Last night, Johnny Assrocket was screeching hysterically about how Time Magazine's Blog-of-the-Year had been hacked, resulting in the destruction of a day's worth of his pearls of wisdom. The righteous ass vowed to "criminally prosecute[]" the evildoers responsible. He also simperingly gave "[t]hanks to the many readers who have expressed their concern," and urged his readers to congregate at the Powertools News bulletin board so they could "heap abuse on the moron who hacked us."

At the bulletin board, various toolsuckers postulated that "some moonbat from Democratic Underground is responsible," that "someone who could do something like this could do a huge amount of damage to infrastructure, if they were given guidance on what to hit," and that "it takes some degree of intellect to hack a site like Power Line." It was also suggested that the hack was a testament to the popularity and influence of the Tools.

You're already ahead of me.

Yes, the moron was Paul.

Fortunately, Paul confessed before Assrocket could blame the hack on the AP, or House Democrats or Dan Rather. Stupidty got you into this mess, John, but stupidity can't get you out.

Time For Another Edition Of Inbred Hillbilly Law School

Glenn Greenwald (of the American Conservative!) has a fact-filled post about the Never-Right Wing of the blogosphere.

Meanwhile, inbred Republican Glenn Reynolds engages yet again in his habit of linking without thinking.

January 05, 2007

PELOSI'S APPROVAL RATING: lower than Bush's? You wouldn't know that from the press coverage.

UPDATE: Eugene Volokh notes that things aren't quite as close as they appear. He's right to note that, and I should have followed the links myself. I'm guessing, though, that these numbers would be getting a lot more press attention anyway if the party affiliations were reversed.

Damn that nasty "MSM" for downplaying imaginary facts. Why must they conspire to ignore Reynolds' sad delusions?

P.S. Mark Kleiman has the details, not just the gratuitous insults.

Wingnut Welfare Reform

Is Wesley Pruden being shipped off involuntarily to the Old Lynchers' Home? This Washington Post online column says the second-generation bigot is slated to be shit-Klanned before summer:

A widely respected former reporter for the [Moonie] Times, George Archibald, has come forward with a detailed look at the power struggle within the paper's newsroom. Archibald portrays the battle as one "between Washington Times Corp. CEO Dong Monn [sic] (Douglas) Joo, who is the Reverend Moon's Korean translator in many venues and has been his go-fer for many years, and the reverend's youngest son, Preston Moon, an MBA graduate of Harvard, who has been anointed by his father as corporate successor."

Archibald sees editorial control of the paper shifting this coming spring: He says Preston Moon's plan is to "oust Joo as CEO of The Washington Times Corp., force [longtime editor in chief Wesley] Pruden's retirement no later that the 25th anniversary of The Washington Times on May 17, 2007, and hire a successor to Pruden as TWT editor-in-chief...."

I guess Preston doesn't like seeing his family's millions being flushed down a literal toilet. If true, this means one less right-wing subsidy for Francis the Talking Kluxer and his vile wife, Klanette. That would be a crying shame.

The two scroungy-bearded faces of Michael Ledeen.

I guess Simone changed her mind about that job of fucking up Tehran.

Mikey better get busy forging more documents if he really wants a new war.

Are photo editors just choosing different shots, or has Mickey Kaus changed his appearance? I can't figure it out. In this picture for example, he seems almost unrecognizable, based on the photos I've seen previously. But some old photos of him look similar. ... 4:40 P.M.

Triumph Of The Wingnutosphere

Many wingnuts with immense holes in their pathetic little souls have just been reamed a new one:

BAGHDAD, Iraq - The Interior Ministry acknowledged Thursday that an Iraqi police officer whose existence had been denied by the Iraqis and the U.S. military is in fact an active member of the force, and said he now faces arrest for speaking to the media.

Ministry spokesman Brig. Abdul-Karim Khalaf, who had previously denied there was any such police employee as Capt. Jamil Hussein, said in an interview that Hussein is an officer assigned to the Khadra police station, as had been reported by The Associated Press.

The captain, whose full name is Jamil Gholaiem Hussein, was one of the sources for an AP story in late November about the burning and shooting of six people during a sectarian attack at a Sunni mosque.

On the bright side, you can't lose credibility when you never had any.

I'd hate to be the spouse or small child of one of our wingnut friends tonight. There isn't enough Placidyl in the world, or in William Rehnquist's corpse for that matter, to quell those looneys' rage right now.

Grand Old Police Blotter: No Honor Among Theives Edition

Some GOPer has stolen a play from George Will's play-stealing playbook and stolen Rudy Guiliani's playbook. And Rudy's calling it a crime:

A Giuliani spokeswoman, Sunny Mindel, said yesterday that the document belonged to a staff member and did not reflect official strategy, but "simply someone's ideas which were committed to paper over three months ago." Ms. Mindel said the document was apparently stolen from a piece of luggage during a Giuliani political trip last fall, then photocopied and replaced in the luggage. Ms. Mindel said she did not know if her office would seek a criminal investigation of the alleged theft.

The public disclosure of the document is potentially damaging for Mr. Giuliani, not least because since 9/11, he has built a business as a private consultant on security issues while creating an image as a political leader capable of combating terrorism. Indeed, an adviser to one of his possible rivals in 2008, Senator John McCain of Arizona, half-joked yesterday that it was interesting that Mr. Giuliani's businesses included security consulting.

This theft should be prosecuted and the thief sentenced to prison, whether the crime was committed by a representative of John McCain, a staffer of Willard Romney or Duncan Hunter himself.

Coward Kurtz Licks His Master's Ass

CNN rent boy Howard Putz swallows hard for his patron on the subject of its "Where's Obama" graphic:

It was an embarrassing mistake, but obviously an inadvertent mistake made by some staffer in the control room.

And why is it obvious that the slander was an "inadvertent mistake?" Howad doesn't say, and surely he doesn't know. This wasn't just a Chyron at the bottom of the screen, but an integrated part of a full-screen graphic with a photograph of bin Laden. But Kuntz is too busy covering his employer's ass to bother with the truth, and too lazy to search for it.

I doubt the Putz would be so sanguine about a graphic of President Lush.

Sacrifice Watch

If Bush in fact makes "sacrifice" the theme of his foolish escalation of the Iraq debacle, I'm going to start a regular feature highlighting the sacrifices made -- or not made -- by the debacle's supporters. If their Commander-in-Chief invokes the duty to sacrifice, how can they reject the call?

I'll start, I think, with these folks.

He Didn't Say It

Republican Midget Mickey Kaus, still working off of Mel Martinez' 2005 talking points, fantasizes about Tim Noah's testicles:

He said it: Only Slate's Tim Noah, however, has had the balls to prematurely speculate about a partisan Schiavo do-si-do in which Tom DeLay suddenly realizes that 'quality of life' is what counts, while Democrats discover that maybe the Schiavo conservatives had a point. ... 2:35 P.M.

In fact, if you click on the link, Noah says nothing about Democrats, or partisans, or a do-si-do at all. What Noah says is:

I heartily endorse DeLay's good wishes. But the political scenarist in me can't suppress curiosity about whether, in the awful event that Johnson should end up on life support, DeLay would once again support legislation blocking any attempts to remove the feeding tube. "It is more than just Terry Schiavo," he told Time magazine in March 2005. Is it, though? Even with a Senate majority hanging in the balance? DeLay probably isn't such a partisan monster that he'd reverse field entirely and declare publicly that the man has suffered enough. More likely, DeLay would hold his tongue, "out of respect for the family," and quietly tell himself that Paris is worth a mass. (The latest news on Johnson's condition is hopeful, thank God, so DeLay is probably off the hook.)

The slaphead Kaus lacks the balls to attribute his own premature ejaculations to himself. No wonder Tom DeLay has Kaus on his blogroll.

And exactly what point did conservatives have, Kaus?

(Link via Robert Farley at Lawyers, Guns and Money.)