Sunday, May 11, 2008

Grand Old Police Blotter: Vito-80-Proof Majority Edition

Vito "Point One Seven" Fossella is a Republican rarity - someone who's both too vile for his fellow Republicans and heterosexual. But he's got his defenders as well:

Long Island congressman Peter King slammed fellow Republicans for "posturing" by pressuring his close friend Rep. Vito Fossella about resigning amid revelations of Fossella's drunken-driving arrest and secret love child.

"To me, it's putting a knife in the back of a good guy who's made a mistake," said King (R-Seaford).

Or running a stoplight while shitfaced, crushing a good guy with your car, backing up, running over him again, and then leaving the scene to avoid arrest. Damn posers!

Or maybe it's like putting the salami in your mistress in foreign lands on the taxpayer dime.

King, who said he'd been with Fossella "continually" in the past few days, said the two have not discussed how the scandal might tint Fossella's political future.

King said Republicans "who are supposed to be his friends" should be giving the Staten Island-Brooklyn Republican "the time and opportunity to make that decision" -- whether to resign, to serve out his term but leave afterward or to stay in office and seek another term -- "himself."

Fortunately, Fossella has true friends like Peter -- and Brian (almost certainly two different individuals):

The Daily News reports the congressman and his buddy got kicked out of a Washington, D.C., bar hours before Fossella's arrest. Waiters at the Logan Tavern tell the paper that both men were incapable of driving and that at one point, Fossella's pal—known only as "Brian"—passed out in front of the men's room.

(Brian and Peter. I guess that makes Vito Stewie.)

But Peter King wants Vito back in the House, where they can get drunk on power and piss on the Constitution.

Update (5/15): Finally (!) corrected.

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