Friday, November 23, 2007

Keepin' It Real

Some Harvard and Oxford educated twit, guest blogging for the ultra-authentic Nick Kristof, tells the Democrats that they're losing the authenticity gap 'cause they aren't listening to The Wolf and The Bull and The Eagle:

In just a few minutes a day, without leaving the comforts of coastal living, you too can learn about what matters most to those hard core Bush backers and new Huckabee zealots across Midwest and South by simply tuning your radio dial from NPR, soft jazz, or rock and roll oldies to your nearest country western station, the one that still boycotts the Dixie Chicks. Country music – not jazz, hip hop or blues – is the most authentic and popular form of music in America today.

That's right, modern country western music provides the most compelling and honest insights into life in rural, homespun America. Unlike previous caricatures of country music with its hillbilly stories of hard drinkin' and cheatin' hearts, modern hits often tell more complex stories of everyday struggles that resonate powerfully with many Americans.

Scan the hit charts of a recent country countdown. There is the song about a wife struggling to keep her young family together and her composure while her husband fights in Iraq. There is the catchy tune with a poignant verse about a man trying to be a better person in the midst of losing his job and hoping to find his life's purpose. Another twangy hit describes comforting family traditions passed down from father to son and the insights that come with the passing of time and the turn of generations. Then there is the one about reaching out and putting America's boot to the posteriors of the terrorist enemies of America.

None of that inauthentic, unpopular race music for Tex Campbell.

'Cause "country western is the best place to start to learn a little something about what it means to have a family, to struggle making ends meet, to own a gun or a pickup truck, to support our troops unquestioningly, to enlist in the military and fight our country's wars and to generally be very proud of what America stands for — and to profess confusion over just what all this fuss is about when it comes to our foreign policy choices." (And elementary school is the best place to learn to edit sentences.)

Yup, only in "country western" music can you learn "love is all that matters after all" and "a hundred years goes faster than you think." And how to keep your daughter from doing what the boys do, by any means necessary. Ma and Pa Kettle are sure'n to elect Mitt "The Varmintnator" Romney and Rudy "Family Man" Giuliani over them thar silver-spoon, family hatin' Democrats, if'n their broke-down pickup don't blow a flat on the way to the polls.

P.S. - Don't tell Tex about this.

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