Depends Ends

Roger el-Simon addresses the dupes troops:

I wrote a letter to the Pajamas Media network bloggers yesterday, some of whom took it a bit more personally than intended. We disbanded the ad network part of our business for a simple reason: it was losing money and we couldn't see how in the reasonable future that would change.

Actually that part of our business has been losing money from the beginning, so the people getting their quarterly checks from PJM were getting a form of stipend from us in the hopes that advertisers would start to cotton to blogs and we could possibly make a profit. Didn't happen. No wonder those people are kicking and screaming now that they are off the dole. I might too. (Emphasis added.)

Those of you who had "wingnut welfare" may collect your prizes. Line forms right here.

But exactly what "part of our business" at Depends hasn't been losing money from the start? There is no other part of the business. Perhaps Roger means the part of the business that resides in his bank account.

The questions remain: Who was willing to take losses for such a long time, and why? (I suppose it wasn't that long. November 2005 was when Pamela Oshry was flashing Instacracker at the swanky Depends launch party. Still, three years is a long time to flush money down the crapper and into the orifices of Rog-el and Chuck Johnson.)

P.S. to Rog-el, you might want to take this bit down asap. It's a target rich environment.

Update: Link fixed! This blog still not losing money!

Next

Not all wingnuts are looking to Cookie Puss, Big Pharma and Sharia Plain to save their souls. One New Righty at The Next Right recommends a mystery guest -- try to fit the description to the Saviour before clicking through:

Unpredictable, intellectual, policy-oriented, witty, with a brain the size of a planet. If there a better public intellectual for our day, I don't know who it is. In __________, I see the potential to transform the Right; to tear down the sacred cows and rebuild a much more coherent, effective movement.

Mister Gorbachev, tear down those cows!

To give you a hint, this wingnut also writes that "James Lileks or Mark Steyn, each of whom has the sharpest wit and the most devastating turn of phase [sic]." Adjust your expectations accordingly.

Spectacular Fail

I admit it. I was wrong. Spectacularly so.

Just three days ago, I offered the following economic analysis:

The fatal flaw in [Culture 11's] business model was the failure to line up a neocon sugar daddy who would subsidize bat shit if it spouted an anti-Arab, U.S. imperialist line.

Since then, the market for imperialist anti-Arab bat shit has collapsed spectacularly.

As Tom illustrates in the link above, the failure of Depends is already causing a ripple effect in the form of job losses among financially dependent bloggers. That couldn't come at a worse time, given that Starbucks is already laying off workers.

And, really, Rog-el, a professional writer putting out work like this?

In the last few months we have strengthened the PJTV lineup with shows covering Media Bias, Education Bias, Middle East Update, Sharia and Jihad, Powerline Report, Ask Dr. Helen, Hugh News, Poliwood, Conservatism 2.0, Economy and Finance, National Security, and others.

Shows covering Ask Dr. Helen and Hugh News? Now that's narrowcasting.

Does anyone else suspect that PJTV sent Sam Wurzelbacher to Israel with something more than 3x5 cards and miniature condoms in his luggage?

Congratulations, Cookie Puss!

And the Rancy goes to Michael "Cookie Puss" Steele, a man with paranoid delusions of having bigoted baked goods lobbed at his bonce.

As his first act as Chairman of the RNC, Steele is expected to call on himself to denounce and repudiate himself for his rare moments of honesty and lucidity:

"In Katrina, the president is at 30,000 feet in an airplane looking down at people dying, living on a bridge. And that disconnect, I think, sums up, for me at least, the frustration that Americans feel."

The response to Katrina was "a monumental failure," [Steele] continued. "We became so powerful in our ivory towers, in our gated communities. We forgot that there are poor people." The detachment remained after the storm, he said. "I could see that they weren't getting it, they weren't necessarily clued in. . . . For me, the seminal moment was the [Dubai] port decision.

... "For me to pretend I'm not a Republican would be a lie," he reasoned. But to run as a proud Republican? "That's going to be tough, it's going to be tough to do," he said. "If this race is about Republicans and Democrats, I lose."

Now that's party leadership I can believe in!

Ken Snackwell, the Hydrox of the leadership race, withdrew in early balloting and tossed his crumbling support to Cookie Puss. Stay tuned to see if Steele's other rivals, an assortment of crackers and mixed nuts, accuse the ex-Lt. Governor and serial fabulist of having the ballot box double stufed.

Your Moment of Zen

The voice and face of the Republican Party are a prescription drug addict and the common law in-law of a crank dealer.

C11 Was A Joke

Perhaps the finest mission statement since the launch of HotSoup:

Culture11 is just getting started. Over the next year we plan to grow our content offerings as well as provide you with even more interactive features that allow you to comment, contribute content and interact with others and connect communities around topics and causes you care about.

And then we plan to launch a line of New Coke and Crystal Pepsi-based wine coolers that the kids will just love.

The fatal flaw in C11's business model was the failure to line up a neocon sugar daddy who would subsidize bat shit if it spouted an anti-Arab, U.S. imperialist line. Namby-pamby wingnuttery from Megan McArdle-ultralites doesn't attract the high-dollar donors or the lily-white eyeballs of the Joe Droolbucket base. You gotta have hate!

I suspect Big Babywood isn't long for this worldwideweb either. How many variations on my career, which you've never heard of, wouldn't suck so hard if it wasn't for liberals can you read?

Fortunately, dear readers, due to low, low overhead and an appreciation for pacing, Roger Ailes will outlive a cockroach's herpes.

He's Lying As Hard As He Can

Who to replace William "Bill" Kristol on the Times' op-ed page?

John Podhoretz, natch.

The Times has traditions to uphold.

Kristol claims writing for the Times was "a lot of work." Well, of course it is.

What Part of "Breach of Contract" Don't You Understand?

All of it, if you're Pastor Brady Boyd, according to The Associated Press:

Brady Boyd, who succeeded Haggard as senior pastor of the 10,000-member New Life Church in Colorado Springs, told The Associated Press that the man came forward to church officials in late 2006 shortly after a Denver male prostitute claimed to have had a three-year cash-for-sex relationship with Haggard.

Boyd said an "overwhelming pool of evidence" pointed to an "inappropriate, consensual sexual relationship" that "went on for a long period of time ... it wasn't a one-time act." Boyd said the man was in his early 20s at the time. He said he was certain the man was of legal age when it began.

...

Boyd said the church reached a legal settlement to pay the man for counseling and college tuition, with one condition being that none of the parties involved discuss the matter publicly.

You're a freakin' genius, Brady boy. Way to flush that confidentiality clause down the crapper!

The Content of They're Character

Fox News must have threatened Wan Julliams with the same severance package it gave Alan Colmes, because Wan's working overtime on another Murdoch organ to inoculate his pale pals on the right against criticism:

Several seasons ago, when Philadelphia Eagle's black quarterback Donovan McNabb was struggling, radio commentator Rush Limbaugh said the media wanted a black quarterback to do well and gave Mr. McNabb "a lot of credit for the performance of this team that he didn't deserve." Mr. Limbaugh's sin was saying out loud what others had said privately.

There is a lot more at stake now, and to allow criticism of Mr. Obama only behind closed doors does no honor to the dreams and prayers of generations past: that race be put aside, and all people be judged honestly, openly, and on the basis of their performance.

I'm happy to judge Wan's performance as a journalist on his inability to punctuate correctly. And his ability to spout right-wing talking points on cue.

Meanwhile, a competent journalist measures performance:

In the five-plus years since Rush Limbaugh uttered those words, the Philadelphia Eagles' quarterback has:

-- Passed for 19,151 yards and thrown 155 touchdowns in 77 regular season games.
-- Has a 6-3 record in the NFL playoffs.
-- Reached the NFC title game three times.
-- Gone to one Super Bowl.

His teammates must be tired of carrying him all these years.

Not only that, McNabb's never bought drugs illegally from his maid, destroyed his own hearing, gotten his ass fired for displaying bigotry, gone on sex tours to the Third World or spent a lonely Friday night hand-washing the unmentionables of his ugly stepbrothers, Fred Barnes and Charles Krauthammer.

I'm off to find Wan's similar column chiding "the media" giving Geo. Bush "a free pass for screw-ups, lies or failure to keep a promise." Don't wait up for me.

If he shouts "Mein Furher, I can walk" right before the swearing in, that wouldn't surprise me:

US Vice President Dick Cheney pulled a muscle in his back while moving boxes and will be in a wheelchair for Tuesday's historic inauguration of incoming president Barack Obama, the White House said.

"Vice President Cheney pulled a muscle in his back today while moving boxes into his new house," White House spokeswoman Dana Perino said.

"Under his physician's recommendation, the vice president will be in a wheelchair for the next couple of days, including for tomorrow's inauguration."

How All Criminal Sagas End These Days

"It has been an awesome eight years," he went on. "The days are long, but the years are short. … If you ever want a nice meal, come and knock on our door in Dallas, Texas." He waved goodbye over the opening chords of "Don't Stop Believin'."

What happens when you leave blogging to the professionals:

Bruce Springsteen recently came back onstage, joined by 79-year-old folk singer Pete Seeger and a choir (the same one?), for a version of “This Land Is Your Land.”

Seeger is 89.

At least they didn't credit TLIYL to the Five Man Electrical Band.

Bienvenido al Cielo, Senor Boulet

Sometimes there's something worse than speaking ill of the dead. Witness Kathryn J. Lopez's eulogy of John Boulet:

He was such a generous person. A funny thing: He would send me his Ms. magazines so two of us didn’t give them subscription money as we sought to know the enemy! And, yes, John, I wouldn’t be surprised if I found out he always said a prayer for me when he put the magazine in the envelope.

I'll bet he did the same thing with Jonah Goldberg and his old copies of Swank.

America's Most Wanted

Think Progress ranks the worst members of the Bush Administration. I know it's a crowded field, but Johnny Asscrack and (especially) Condoleezza "Historical Document" Rice surely deserve higher rankings than Ari the Talking Penis and incompetent boob Michael Brown. Rice's criminality involved both acts of commission and omission; Asscrack's greatest acheivement is that he's not Abu Gonzales

And has everyone forgotten those career criminals, Johns Negroponte and Poindexter?

Update: Link fixed.

It Isn't Rich

Arlen Specter, who is missing out on a lucrative career as the cartoon voice of Richard Nixon, didn't lay a glove on Eric Holder, President-elect Obama's nominee for Attorney General. 90s nostalgia ain't what it used to be.

Joe Conason has an interesting take on the hearing and the subject of Arlen's obsession.

She Reminds Him Of His First Wife

Diaper David Vitter was the lone Senator on the Foreign Relations Committee to vote against Senator Clinton's Secretary of State appointment. Seems the only change Vitter supports involves a pro with a fresh nappy and a five and five ones.

Meet Your Liberal Media -- Failing Upward

Honesty and competence are no longer required to succeed in broadcasting, IYAR:

It's a moment President Bush has repeatedly called a mistake: Delivering a speech on board the USS Abraham Lincoln in the Spring of 2003 with a "Mission Accomplished" banner featured prominently behind him.

But the much-maligned photo-op wasn't the president's fault at all, according to former White House Communications Director Dan Bartlett.

Bartlett, currently a political analyst with CBS, said Tuesday he was the one who actually gave the final go-ahead of the event.

And when exactly, CNN, did Flight-Suit Prancer repeatedly call his favorite photo-op a mistake?

Is This The End of Depends Media?

G.I. Joe the Plumber is out to prove that Sharia Palin isn't the dullest knife in the G.O.P. cutlery drawer:

"I think media should be abolished from, uh, you know, reporting."

The kind folks at Depends Media got Joe his passport and his shots, and this is how he repays them? You're giving trained monkeys a bad name, Wurzelbacher.

Joe's For Jesus

If you have a loved one who died in Iraq or Afghanistan, he or she just didn't love Jesus enough, says Joe "the Plumber" Wurzelbacher. The illiquid plumber couldn't cut it in crapper repair, so he's got a new gig pestering Israelis for Depends Media.

"I get to go over there and let their 'Average Joes' share their story, what they think, how they feel, especially with world opinion, maybe get a real story out there," [Wurzelbacher] said.

"If given the opportunity to do some good however minute it may be, or could be something really good, you gotta take that chance. You have to do it," he added, heroically.

Is he scared that one of the Hamas rockets might have his name on it? Not really. After all, as he explained, he's a Christian so God will keep him safe.

"Being a Christian I'm pretty well protected by God I believe," he said.

JtP can convert a few of Israeli Joes to Christianity while he's on assignment, if only to save their lives. And when he gets back, he can baptize Roger L. Simon.

Roy Edroso tells you all you need to know about Depends Media Goes to The Movies aka Big Hollywood, the new website from Drudge piss-boy Andy Breitbart. I liked this bit from Andrew Dice Klavan:

Spider-Man 3, a pro-American, pro-responsibility film with deeply Christian overtones topped the box office in 2007.

I'm glad I missed that one.

Other bloggers at the site include U.S. Representative Thaddeus McCotter, the Virgin Ben, a screenwriter using a pseudonym, an extra from Enterprise and not-Assrocket. Expect posts from Kirk Cameron, Victoria Jackson and Mickey Kaus in the near future, and a 404 message to soon follow.

The Al Franken Sexennial

Congratulations to Senator-Elect Al Franken on his defeat of bent incumbent Nor Loserman.

P.S. to Nor: Election attorneys are not the lawyers you should be spending time with right now.

Power Concedes Nothing Without A Demand

(link)

While we're all feeling satisfied with ourselves today, it wouldn't hurt to remember the children who were brutalized in our own lifetimes, and honor their lives. And also to remember the terrorists of the time, and their sympathizers, many of whom are still with us.

Erick Fail

Over at VegetativeState, Oly Olafson takes the early lead in the race for the 2009 World's Stupidest Fucking Blogger Award (aka the Goldbergy). Says Oly:

Washington Post hires left-wing blogger. I guarantee they wouldn't hire someone from the right.

Well, we really don't need any reminder as to the liberal bias of the mainstream media, but I'll remind you anyway.

Greg Sargent was with the left-wing Talking Points Memo. Now he is with the Washington Post.

I'm sure Greg Sargent is good at what he does, but I'm also sure the Washington Post would not even consider hiring someone directly from the right-of-center blogosphere.

Not now, that's for damn sure.

After someone points out the 800-pound box turtle in the room, Oly yodel-simpers his response:

He was tossed quickly after lefty outrage — and let's be honest, it had more to do with the lefty outrage than later revelations. They weren't going to stand by him the minute the phones started wringing [sic!].

Yes, let's be honest. How does that go again?

On March 24 2006, RedState contributor Erick (Erickson) called the plagiarism allegations "lies" and said that "permissions obtained" were not reflected in the online record.

Or is it more like this?

Domenech said he needed to research the examples but that he never used material without attribution and had complained about a college editor improperly adding language to some of his articles.

Bonus fun, from Oly's comments: "Where does anyone get off insulting the CO-FOUNDER of a blog on his own blog?"

(Story via Memeorandum, and seen on many other blogs -- see here and here.)

Love Changes Everything

I've come back from my break a more passionate and sensitive Roger, open to life's transformative possibilities and with a deep appreciation of intimacy in all its forms. Some might call it mood-swingy.

To reflect my changed outlook on life, I offer you a true story of Love and the Power of the Internet.

Enjoy.

The Defense of Marriage Bankruptcy Act

Now here are some victims of the Bush Recession I can really feel for:

When Marci Needle and her husband began to contemplate divorce in June, they thought they had enough money to go their separate ways. They owned a million-dollar [sic] home near Atlanta and another in Jacksonville, Fla., as well as investment properties.

Now the market for both houses has crashed, and the couple are left arguing about whether the homes are worth what they owe on them, and whether there are any assets left to divide, Ms. Needle said.

"We're really trying very hard to be amicable, but it puts a strain on us," said Ms. Needle," the friction audible in her voice. I want him to buy me out. It's in everybody's interest to settle quickly. That would be my only income. It's been incredibly stressful."

That just tears me up. If the Needles can't make do with two "million dollar" homes and their investment properties, what hope is there for the rest of us.

(It seems to me the article should have mentioned that the Needles are real estate pros, just for context. Apparently the commercial real estate market in Jacksonville is in the crapper too, but you'd think Dave would let Marci keep her job as General Manager if he was so amicable.)

It used to be that an ailing economy was good for Big Divorce:

High-finance marriages are crumbling along with the economy, divorce lawyers say, and because of it, couples who are splitting up are paying closer attention to the timing of bonus payouts and other economic trends in the hope of achieving the best possible settlement.

"A lot of couples who have been living the good life have begun the process of re-evaluating their lives together," said Jacalyn F. Barnett, a Manhattan divorce lawyer. "In the past year, I have seen how the dramatic changes in our economy have had a dramatic effect on married people, especially those who have been used to earning high salaries, and many of those couples can no longer handle the stress."

But now people can't afford to lose the old ball-and-chain, and can't even just scram in the middle of the night and let the bank take over the maintenance. Perhaps God will send us a depression so that traditional marriage can be restored to its former glory.

From The Department of People In Hell Want Ice Water

This just in:

"Some Conservatives Fear Obama Advisers Lean Too Far Left"

Obama's Team Rankles the Right
To Some Conservatives, Advisers Are Alarmingly Liberal

By Carol D. Leonnig
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, January 2, 2009; Page A13

To some staunch conservatives watching President Bush relinquish the reins of power to President-elect Barack Obama, a few too many ardent liberals are now crashing the gates.

Some well-known Democratic activists are advising Obama on how to steer federal agencies, including a few whom conservative Republicans fought hard to keep out of power in the Clinton administration. They include Roberta Achtenberg, a gay activist whose confirmation as an assistant housing secretary was famously held up by then-Sen. Jesse Helms (N.C.), and Bill Lann Lee, who was hotly opposed by foes of affirmative action and temporarily blocked from the government's top civil rights job.

The article doesn't quote a single conservative currently criticizing Ms. Achtenberg for being too liberal or the Obama transition team for using Ms. Achtenberg as an adviser. It does quote Jesse Helms, who now exists in the form of worm excrement. Perhaps the author has a beef with Ms. Achtenberg. In any event, conservative whining about liberalism, real or imagined, is about as newsworthy as the sunrise.

Roger, on the other hand, fears that Carol D. Leonnig is a piss-poor writer:

Besides Achtenberg and Lee, other transition advisers' past positions are sending off flares in the ultra-conservative wing of the Republican Party. None of them responded to requests for comment.

Who failed to comment? The past positions? The flares in the ultra-conservative wing of the Republican Party? And precisely how did the past positions infiltrate the G.O.P. to send off flares from within that party?

Nothing Changes On New Year's Day

I see some sort of unpleasantness took place in the Middle East while I was away. Fortunately many virtual dicks were swung throughout the blogosphere, thus solving the problem before I might have to offer an opinion on the matter.

And speaking of virtual dicks, this post from Marty "The Wedding Singer" Peretz shows why his wife keeps him on an allowance:

One of the ways you can keep up with the world is read all of your e-mails. I don't think I have bad credit. I do not have mortgages on my places of residence. [Of that I have no doubt -- RA] And my payments are up-to-date on my American Express and Visa cards. Still I get solicitations such as the one below at least once or twice a week.


Secured Credit
A Credit Card for People with Bad Credit

New Millenium Bank
2 Wisconsin Circle, Suite 700
Chevy Chase, MD 20815
Attn: Customer Care


I wonder whether the New Millenium Bank has applied for bail-out relief. Bad credit? Why don't you go and borrow from the bank?

Secured credit credit cards, of course, advance the borrower "credit" in the amount of his or her cash deposit with the lender, and carry outrageous origination fees, interest rates etc. for the privilege. (See here for a relatively mild example, if you've been living off your spouse for over a decade.)

Peretz might as well inveigh against those risk-taking rent-to-own and payday loan financiers. Opinion journalism's answer to Marion Davies sure lives a sheltered life.

Next week, Marty complains, "I can get it up whenever I want, but the makers of h3rba1 V1a9ra won't let me be!"

Oh for a book and a shady crook...

Oh for a book and a shady crook...

Since Roger is otherwise detained and I still have a key to the place -

There are very good reasons why the Wall Street Journal employs Karl Rove. After all, he did mastermind the election of a virtual idiot into a spot somewhat higher than first runner up at American Idol. But I think that the WSJ had something other in mind than Rove writing fanfic about Incurious George, the man who put the 'brief' into briefing:

At year's end, I defeated the president, 110 books to 95. My trophy looks suspiciously like those given out at junior bowling finals. The president lamely insisted he'd lost because he'd been busy as Leader of the Free World.

Mr. Bush's 2006 reading list shows his literary tastes. The nonfiction ran from biographies of Abraham Lincoln, Andrew Carnegie, Mark Twain, Babe Ruth, King Leopold, William Jennings Bryan, Huey Long, LBJ and Genghis Khan to Andrew Roberts's "A History of the English Speaking Peoples Since 1900," James L. Swanson's "Manhunt," and Nathaniel Philbrick's "Mayflower." Besides eight Travis McGee novels by John D. MacDonald, Mr. Bush tackled Michael Crichton's "Next," Vince Flynn's "Executive Power," Stephen Hunter's "Point of Impact," and Albert Camus's "The Stranger," among others.

Fifty-eight of the books he read that year were nonfiction. Nearly half of his 2006 reading was history and biography, with another eight volumes on current events (mostly the Mideast) and six on sports.

To my surprise, the president demanded a rematch in 2007. Though the overall pace slowed, he once more came in second in our two-man race, reading 51 books to my 76.

I'm as willing as the next person to believe that Rove may have actually read 76 books; he doesn't exactly look like he spends his late evening hours at raves. But please don't try to tell me that George W. Bush reads nearly a book a week. The Sporting News, during baseball season, yes. "A History of the English Speaking Peoples Since 1900."? Please. That would be too ironic.

Rove should stick to giving tips on manipulating public opinion in order to destroy the Constitution inch by inch while emptying the Treasury into Dick Cheney's buddies pockets. When it comes to what is commonly called "polishing the turd", he should leave it to pros like John Hinderaker who can use his tongue purtier than a twenty-dollar whore.

It Must Be Love

Regrettably, I will be working full-time and more through the holidays. That depressing news is balanced out by an exciting upswing in my personal life. The first part is only temporary; the second, who knows? But for now, something's got to give. Although this blog will suffer in the short run, I am hopeful that it will continue to exist, and I will try to make it so.

A very happy and healthy year end to all my virtual friends. Thank you for reading, and for participating.

Heartwarming

The Altantic is publishing children's letters to Santa.

Jerry Falwell's Evil Twin

Note: Falwell was evil too, of course. But the one with the goatee always gets the title.

Going to the Show

That movie about The Anchoress and Professor Bainbridge looks pretty interesting. Has anyone seen the reviews?

Frankly, I'm more troubled by the eight years of bootlicking by the press.

Ho Ho Ho

Instacracker has had a series of hard-hitting posts on the Bush economy this past week (link and internal links omitted):

LOTS OF big electronics markdowns.

...

A BUNCH OF jewelry on sale, at Amazon.

...

CHRISTMAS DISCOUNTS on gourmet food.

...

A BUNCH OF bargain toys for Christmas and Hanukah. Lots more toy deals here.

...

TOP KIDS-AND-FAMILY DVDs OF 2008.

...

AMAZON PRIME IS on sale for Christmas, letting you get a year of free two-day shipping for $59. I've been an Amazon Prime user since it first started and I've loved it....

Whether "Professor" Reynolds is spreading for amazon.com for free or he's making money on the deal matters not to me. Product placement is as American as Hostess Fruit Pies, and if the 'Cracker's drooling groupies don't mind wasting their time (or are too stupid to find amazon on their own), far be it from me to complain. The triumphs of the blogsphere are that you don't have to label advertising as such, and any content-free whore can get rich or die trying. And its not like anyone takes the 'Cracker seriously anyway.

Satire Recognized In Great Britian

It's the law:

"The transparently false attribution is irony," said [Mr Justice] Tugendhat, in a 17-page judgment. "Irony is a figure of speech in which the intended meaning is the opposite of that expressed by the words used ... The attribution is literally false but no reasonable reader could be misled by it." The judge added: "Irony is not always a form of sarcasm or ridicule."

If anyone would know about ridicule, it'd be a guy named Tugendhat.

The only question remaining about the fire at Sharia Plain's church is when Instacracker will blame it on eco-terrorists.

You know, like when he falsely blamed these arson fires on eco-terrorists.

Context Is The Devil

I love NewsBusters, the website that can find conservative bias in the alphabet. There's so much stupidity on the site that I don't usually bother writing about it. But here's a perfect illustration from contributor Tom Blumer, who apparently has unlimited access to a computer at the halfway house.

Blumer chides an Associated Press reporter for mentioning a Focus on the Family presentation at Sharia Plain's wingnut church in an article about a suspected arson fire at the church. Key simpering point: "D'Oro had to work hard to get the Focus on the Family dig in. As would be expected, Greg Johnson's coverage at the local Frontiersman said nothing about the Sunday bulletin ad, nor did the lengthier coverage at the Anchorage Daily News. Of course not: It has no relevance to the story."

And here's the reference:

..... Palin, who was not at the church at the time of the fire, stopped by Saturday. Her spokesman, Bill McAllister, said in a statement that Palin told an assistant pastor she was sorry if the fire was connected to the "undeserved negative attention" the church has received since she became the vice presidential candidate Aug. 29.

"Whatever the motives of the arsonist, the governor has faith in the scriptural passage that what was intended for evil will in some way be used for good," McAllister said.

The 1,000-member evangelical church was the subject of intense scrutiny after Palin was named John McCain's running mate. Early in Palin's campaign, the church was criticized for promoting in a Sunday bulletin a Focus on the Family "Love Won Out Conference" in Anchorage. The conference promised to "help men and women dissatisfied with living homosexually understand that same-sex attractions can be overcome.

Do I need to spell out the relevance of the reference to anyone that was able to turn on a computer?

If I had been the A.P. reporter, I would have simply stated that "No evidence exists that the fire was the result of attention from Palin's campaign, and Palin and her spokesman are scumbags for portraying Palin as a victim." The reporter also could have pointed out plenty of other wingnut goings on at the church which came up in the campaign. But for Blumer to claim that the final paragraph was not necessary to put the Palin stooge's remark into context shows only that Blumer's road to mental recovery will be longer than the Al-Can Highway.

The Underground Internet

Tristam finds some blog triumphalism at its most offensive and stupid. The source is not a surprise.

Meet Your Liberal Media: Useless Idiots Edition

Bob Somerby is right to blast Morning Joe co-star and prize dullard Mika Brzezinski for recycling the lie that UAW workers earn $73.00 an hour. But he doesn't emphasize the source of Brzezinski's idiocy is the Brent Bozell e-rag CNS News, an organ with even less credibility than Brzezinski and her co-host, Joe Scarborough. Brzezinski is a lot like her heroine, Sarah Palin, in that she believes anything that's placed in front of her and she's told to read. And it's no suprise she's now appearing on the same wingnut radio station as Big Pharma, Hannity, Don Imacracker and hairless troll doll Mark LEVin.

A Moveable Dumbass

Over at the Kiddie Corner, Mark Hemmingway's stomach rumbles like a tsumani as he chortles over Rev. Jerry Wright's ignorance about the fundamental details of World War II. Shit Steyn also joins in the fun.

Yeah, Wright's almost as big a dumbass as the guy who said this:

President Roosevelt waited until after World War II to put in place a commission to investigate what mistakes led to Pearl Harbor. That was a wise move, but then Roosevelt did not face the kind of hyper-partisanship that plagues America these days.

The dumbass in question is Cliff May, and the dumbasses who published his dumbassery are the dumbasses at National Review. And the dumbassery is still displayed on NRO more than four years later. I'd send Hemmingway the link, but I suspect his pants are already saturated from amusement.

Time For Another Blagojevich Ethics Panel

Gov. Rod "the Blog" Blagojevich (D-IL) is trying to ruin my Grand Old Police Blotter schtick.

Thank God for Vito "Ed Grimley" Fossella (R-NY) and his .17 BAC. Kids, don't drink hand sanitizer and drive!

By the way, those who are attributing Joseph Cao's win in Louisiana to low African-American turnout can blow me. A little over a month ago, the pale Republicans in Alaska nearly returned convicted criminal Ted Stevens to the U.S. Senate. African-American turnout in Louisiana was low because African-American voters didn't support Jefferson, not because of apathy.

Congratulations to Ahn Cao, the newly elected representative from the Second District of Louisiana and the first Vietnamese-American elected to Congress. Cao ousted William Jefferson, so the Republicans will have a harder time playing the false equivalancy game every time one of their scumbag sitting congressmen is indicted. Cao sounds like a winger for the most part, and was a McCain supporter, but apparently he's not Vitter/Jindal clone. He's quoted in this article as saying, "Politics and religious life don't mix." He's got degrees in physics, philosophy and law, so he's evidently brighter than the rest of the droolers in his party, he can't run for President, and the Dems will get the seat back in two years, so he's the ideal Republican.

Do-Over Or Die

When pressed by Gibson, Bush declined to "speculate" on whether he would still have gone to war if he knew Hussein didn't have weapons of mass destruction.

"That is a do-over that I can't do," Bush said.

Sorry, Charley, but that's the wrong question. The correct question is, "Why did you go to war when you knew Hussein didn't have weapons of mass destruction?" Press that question, you enabling asshole.

The E-Nvisible Hand

Since I posted last Thursday, the life-sized and anatomically correct rectal thermometer at National Review Online has moved not a penny. The Corner's readers appear to be as bankrupt as the contributors. How long before the Cornerites are reduced to cannibalism as a means of cutting overhead?

Thanks

A nearly-belated Happy Thanksgiving to everyone, and a premature blessed Red Friday as well. Your patronage of this blog is greatly appreciated.

True, you haven't given me nearly $75K, as The Corner claims its readers have, but that just proves you're a lot smarter than the folks who read America's Shittiest Website sans self-awareness.And, for Buy Nothing Day, I've got a great list of suggestions for things not to buy. Apparently, the Welfare Queens in the Corner aren't so tapped that they can't blow that seventy-five kay on $400 DVD sets, papal indulgences and full-price hardcovers they'd be able to fish out of remainder bin in January. Oh, and the Wall Street Journal for that lucky homeschooled sixth-grader. The dot-matrix illustration of John Fund is an outstanding visual aid for those Stranger Danger lessons.

The New Yorker needs to fact check its cartoons.

Roger's Reader Participation

The New York Post is reporting than Ann Coulter's jaw is broken and has been wired shut.

It would be irresponsible for you not to speculate what led to this series of unfortunate events.

Of course, every cloud has its silver lining:

DON'T consume alcohol. Perhaps you were thinking that you could cheat, but there is a reason they put this on your recovery form. On your all-liquid diet, alcohol is a quick ticket to dehydration and you'll feel the effect within minutes. It will also send you running to the nearest restroom (if you're lucky enough to find one nearby!).

When one orifice closes ....

Mister Mustache Rides Again

From The Corner:

"I confess I had no desire to die in a Southeast Asian rice paddy" [Kathryn Jean Lopez]

Jack Bauer channelled John Bolton when dealing with that odious U.N. peacekeeper last night on 24: Redemption.

More 24 in January. Something to look forward to that month.

(Link edited for comedic effect, although the original is actually funnier)

The Rational Market

From the Financial Times:

Fox News Channel creator Roger Ailes renewed his contract with Rupert Murdoch's News Corp as a new US presidential administration brings a fresh opportunity for the cable news network to reclaim its heritage as America's alternative news source.

...

"Roger has done a remarkable job building Fox News into a force in journalism and built a great asset for News Corporation," Mr Murdoch said in a statement.

...

News Corp shares fell 11 per cent to $5.47 in New York yesterday.

Enlightenment From The World's Shittiest Editor at The World's Shittiest Website

Here are some classic koans from the world's shittiest failed nun?

What is the sound of one hand tossing:

Where Were We on Debate Night?!? [Kathryn Jean Lopez]

"Thank you, for being up on Election Night." So one high-powered Washington hand told me last night at a Federalist Society function. He's a Corner addict and he had suffered through some presidential-debate nights when he beloved Corner [sic] could not be reached.

Here's another riddle, posted about an hour before Lopez started yammering again:

Friday in Our Alternative-Reality America [Kathryn Jean Lopez]

I think everyone needs to take a week off. No more punditry. Just sleeping, reading, praying, normal living. I really want David Brooks to take the week off when he praises Eric Holder.

And my favorite:

Odd [Kathryn Jean Lopez]

Mike Huckabee did the Rachel Maddow show on his book before Laura Ingraham's.

If you meet Lopez's brain cell, kill it.

Blogging Is Heroic. The Rest Is Commentary.

Warner Fred Flinstone, last seen undressing his G.I. Joe doll, is upset that he wasn't consulted on a matter of usage:

Yahoo News featured an interesting short report issued by Agence France-Presse on November 20. In it we discover that a consortium of French, German and Hungarian mathematicians are claiming to have proven that Einstein's famous equation, e=mc2, is correct. The report is all good except for one very small aspect. They call the effort of these mathematicians "heroic" in contradiction to the root meaning of the word. Mathematics isn't "heroic" and it is a degradation of true heroics to say it is.

Unfortunately, while a small thing too casually used in the AFP report, it proves a sort of degradation of our language. [Like that last sentence -- RA] Not only that, but it further devalues real heroism, making the word mean less with each garbled usage.

Flintstone goes on for eleven more paragraphs, whinging that the word heroic is losing value faster than your 401(K) because of its application to pussy eggheads. He sighs, ungrammatically, that "[m]edical missionaries in third world nations risking their own safety and health to save the lives of people that have no access to modern medicine is even heroic." To Warner's mind, such as it is, "hero" should be applied only soliders, firefighters and the well-worn residents of his toychest.

I'm guessing Warner failed first year algebra, and can't bear to think that something he can't even fantasize about doing correctly might be heroic.

Steele-Pelted Radicals

I wholeheartedly encourage the RNC to name Michael Steele as its next chair. He is, after all, the man who, during his failed Senate bid, allowed his supporters to claim he was pelted with cookies back in the day. The RNC badly needs more ineffectual and uninspiring victims to lead it even farther into the wilderness. And it's nice of the media to forget that little fairy tale until Steele gets the nod.

Just call him "Double Stuf."

Girlie-man Rich Lowry has a competitor for Sharia Plain's affections, and he better butch up or he might be seeing starbursts from a rival's well-placed uppercut.

I like Sarah Palin, and I've heartily enjoyed her arrival on the national stage. As a career classroom teacher, I can see how smart she is -- and quite frankly, I think the people who don't see it are the stupid ones, wrapped in the fuzzy mummy-gauze of their own worn-out partisan dogma. So she doesn't speak the King's English -- big whoop! There is a powerful clarity of consciousness in her eyes. She uses language with the jumps, breaks and rippling momentum of a be-bop saxophonist.

We need to encourage thinking like this among the Republicans.

We've Run Out Of Space On The Internet

The problem with the new media is the limitations of the medium. Just ask "Doctor" Helen Smith of Depends Media.

In her latest column, "Dr." Helen asks the big questions:

"Is there no creativity today among those who lean right? If so, where can you find it?"

Which raises the further question, "If not, who?"

The good "Doctor" then conducts an exhaustive search for right-wing culture, relying primarily on a list of people with nothing better to do than participate in poorly produced podcasts:

That point made, there are many good places to read or learn more about conservative culture. I will give my suggestions and turn the floor over to others who can widen this selection. Science fiction is a good place to start (though I am not a big fan, many people are!). Try Robert Heinlein's books if you have not already done so. Starship Troopers and The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress are good places to start. Or try Venor Vinge works such as Singularity and Rainbow's End. (Here’s an interview my husband and I did with him here.) Orson Scott Card's books also might be of interest to you; as a layperson when it comes to science fiction, I enjoyed interviewing him about Empire, a fascinating thriller set in 2008 that tells the story of what will happen if the political polarization in America continues to divide this country on the issues. In terms of music, try John Ondrasik's (Five for Fighting) albums. (You can listen to music clips and our interview with him here.) John writes pro-American songs that I find very beautiful and may or may not be your cup of tea. What about Firefly by Tim Minear, who talks here about his work? There is so much more that I do not have room for.

Oh, I think five is plenty, "Doctor." There's no way you just simply ran out of examples. And you don't want to hog the internet when writers like V.D. Hanson, Annie Jacobsen ("Terror In the Skies, Part Eighty-Nine Hundred") and Roger Kimball are starving for electronic space to express themselves.

And now that you've exhausted that topic, you can get back to writing about how all men are p-whipped and white men are always the victim.

Memo to Ron Rosenbaum

Nobody give a shit what bearded git Jeff Jarvis says or thinks or does. He's an irrelevant Michael Malone-ish tosser.

But if you're looking for impotent old old media bashers to bash, you might want to start with this general assembly of assholes.

Rosh On Fraud

Mary-John Rosh-Lott, Jnr. is concerned about phony results in the Minnesota Senate race.

To many, it just seems like too much of a coincidence that Minnesota's one tight race just happens to be the race with the most "corrected" votes by far. But the real travesty will be to start letting election officials divine voter's intent. If you want to discourage people from voting, election fraud is one sure way of doing it.

And if you want to discourage people from taking you seriously, research fraud is one sure way of doing it.

Mary-John, you may remember, is the man who conducted a telephone survey for one of his gun-nut books and then, when questioned, couldn't find any record of the survey data, the persons surveyed or the students who purportedly conducted the survey. Apparently a flood at his office destroyed his computer, his backup data, all of the students who performed the survey and his ability to lie convincingly.

Anyone who would let Mary-John within 500 miles of an ethical or legal issue, let alone one involving fraudlent polling results, is either dumber than a box of Katherine Harris or as dishonest as Fox News.

Du Toit Rockhead City

Via alicublog, I see that Kim du Toit, the Personification of the Right-Wing Male, has hit the wall:

Since the defeat of yesterday, many people have been asking Kim if he will reconsider his decision to stop blogging. We need a break, Kim especially.

...

He's blogged every day for over seven years through the agony of gout and the depression of not being able to contribute to our financial requirements, never missing a day, never failing to respond to email questions about what gun to buy, or requests to help learn to shoot when he was barely able to drive to meet up at the range. It's time for others to step up and allow Kim a chance to sit down.

I hate to kick a guy when he's sitting down. So I'll let this guy do it instead:

Well, I'm not going to quit. Fuck that. One of the characteristics of the non-pussified man (and this should strike fear into the hearts of women and girly-men everywhere) is that he never quits just because the odds seem overwhelming. Omaha Beach, guys.

As far as I can tell from Mrs. du Toit's poorly-written essay, the dTs have financed two lap-band surgeries, a "last hurrah around the world with our kids," a non-refundable vacation and three college tuitions (apparently at private colleges) with $500 month blogging income and a tapped-out IRA, and have wound up $60,000 in debt. Apparently posting photographs of guns and old movie stars isn't the road to riches it once was. But the dTs have got a sound strategy for success which should have them back in the black in no time.

I wish them all the luck in the world.

Update: Julia says it better.

Rearranging Dick Chairs On The Titanic

The Love Boat is making another run, and washed-up matinee idols from the 50s are still the favorite deck chair fillers:

The bad news from USS NR this morning: Both Fred Thompson and Mitt Romney turned down the RNC chair job when I offered it to each this morning. (Aren't you glad to know it's mine to give away?) The good news: Mike Steele seems to be a frontrunner in the hearts of the crowd here.

Yes, Lieut. Gov. Steele is the perfect candidate to implement the G.O.P.'s 15 state strategy.

The Kiss II: Kiss the Mitch

Interesting that Holy Joe lackey Marshall "Bullshit Moose" Wittman runs to The Corner to snivel on behalf of his boss:

Just got off the phone with a Lieberman aide, trying to get to the bottom of what's going to happen with Joe Lieberman now that the election is over. There's been a lot of speculation he'll be stripped of his committee assigments.

According to the aide, Lieberman's met with Harry Reid and discussions were very friendly. Reid wanted him to step down from his post as chairman of Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs in exchange for heading a lesser committee. Lieberman reminded Reid of how loyal he's been to the Democrats in myriad of ways despite the obvious disagreements, and indicated that would be unnacceptable. Reid made it clear he would prefer that Lieberman would remain in the Democratic caucus, and Lieberman agreed. Talks are ongoing.

The aide made it clear that the Daily News report that Lieberman "begged" to keep his committee chairmanship is simply not true.

Further, the aide also said that Republican Minority Leader Mitch McConnell has also reached out to Lieberman. Though Lieberman would like to remain in the Democratic caucus, he's keeping his options open and nothing has been decided about his fate in the senate yet.

Wrong again, moosebreath. Joe the Traitor's fate has been decided. You're just waiting to learn what it is.

The Wasilla Hillbillies Strike Back

The wingnuts are starting their own Civil War, and fighting over who gets to be the Confederacy. But you'd think even the Hillbillies could choose a better leader than Oly Olafson of RedState.

You've got to love this cryptic threat/boast from Oly:

P.S. - Did I ever tell you how RedState was able to stock Gov. Palin's campaign plane with twenty of these?. We were glad to. And we were glad not to mention it at the time. We are rooting for Sarah Palin. Don't make us add you to our list. Do you really want to be next to Kathleen Parker in the leper colony?

Yumpin' Yimimy, Oly. You donated 20 friggin' coffee mugs to Sharia Plain's campaign. Anyone with such awesome power and influence is rightly to be feared.

It's not so much a circular firing squad as a circle jerk with shootin' irons.

Update: TBogg has already spotted Oly's mighty mug boast.

P.S. If I sent the Obama/Biden team a set of steak knives, could I call Joe Lieberman a V.D. sufferer?

Swimmin' Pools, Movie Stars

From Newsweek:

According to two knowledgeable sources, a vast majority of the clothes were bought by a wealthy donor, who was shocked when he got the bill. Palin also used low-level staffers to buy some of the clothes on their credit cards. The McCain campaign found out last week when the aides sought reimbursement. One aide estimated that she spent "tens of thousands" more than the reported $150,000, and that $20,000 to $40,000 went to buy clothes for her husband. Some articles of clothing have apparently been lost. An angry aide characterized the shopping spree as "Wasilla hillbillies looting Neiman Marcus from coast to coast," and said the truth will eventually come out when the Republican Party audits its books.

A Palin aide said: "Governor Palin was not directing staffers to put anything on their personal credit cards, and anything that staffers put on their credit cards has been reimbursed, like an expense. Nasty and false accusations following a defeat say more about the person who made them than they do about Governor Palin."

McCain himself rarely spoke to Palin during the campaign, and aides kept him in the dark about the details of her spending on clothes because they were sure he would be offended. Palin asked to speak along with McCain at his Arizona concession speech Tuesday night, but campaign strategist Steve Schmidt vetoed the request.

It's going to take a lot more than that to rehabilitate yourself, Johnny Boy.

How 'bout that Bradley effect?

Deader than Liddy Dole's dessicated soul, I'd say.

Harry Reid's moment of truth:

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid will likely meet later this week with Joe Lieberman to discuss whether the Democrat-turned-Independent will be stripped of his Senate committee chairmanship, a senior Democratic leadership aide tells CNN.

Lieberman currently chairs the Senate's Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee.

This aide says that Reid, who is calling the meeting, has not yet decided what to do.

Mr. Speaker, follow the advice of Colin Powell. Cut it off and kill it.

And then feed it to Marshall Wittman.

Change Is Not The Only Thing Coming

James Wolcott speculates about an Obama Boom:

I wonder how many babies are going to be created on this historic night, because it sounds awfully festive out on the Manhattan streets, as if a lot of happy people are going to get busy later to express their joy and perhaps wake up tomorrow morning in a spent daze, one of those Seth Rogen rom-com scenarios.

I suppose that's better than all those broken hips and emergency room treatments for chemically-induced priapism that would follow a McCain win.

In Case You Were Wondering

From August 5:

If voters approve a November ballot measure banning same-sex marriages in California, thousands of gay and lesbian weddings conducted since the state Supreme Court legalized the unions on May 15 will probably remain valid, Attorney General Jerry Brown said Monday.

The article says the issue will likely come up in the courts.

Biggest, Doughiest Pantload ... Ever

Now that McCain has lost, and Sarah Palin has time to reintroduce herself down the road, the anti-Palin conservatives will almost surely look foolish in retrospect.

Once a moron, always a moron. And that goes for Palin too.

Congratulations to Senator Ted Stevens

You truly are the future of the Republican Party.

Long Live The Revolution!

Long live the Socialist State!

Congratulations, Comrades Ayers, Wright and Khalidi. The streets of the wingnutosphere will run a pale brownish-green with tears and feces of neocons, fundies, phony Dems and libertarian putzes.

My Election Story

My polling place is three blocks from where I live. On the walk over, I saw four Obama/Biden signs. Unfortunately, two of the four were in the same yard as two Yes On 8 signs. I got to the polls at 6:56 a.m., and was eighth in line. I was the sixth voter to place my ballots in the machine. When I left there were about 20 voters in line. The number of voters was slightly up from 2004, when I voted at approximately the same time. No one was wearing campaign gear, and no one disclosed their votes on line. An eldery woman with a walker, but not a billy club, urged me and those in the queue to "Vote right," although she seemed too coherent to be a Republican. I neither wet my pants nor blogged hysterically about this outrageous vote tampering, which will certainly invalidate John McCain's claim of legitimacy, should he prevail.

Shorter Right-Wing Media and Blogosphere: We're All Ashley Todd Now

NO ON 8

The most fun you can have standing up, in a retirement home, with a felt tip marker and a flimsy plastic and aluminum stand.

Palin/Plumber '12

Some are incorrectly assuming that a Palin run for the Presidency in 2012 assumes a McCain loss next week. Not so. Starting in 2009, Vice President Palin can run against President McCain in the primaries without changing the tactics she's using now.

President McCain has met with our enemies and terrorists and is a socialist who's soft on baby killers, as his record in the past six months has shown. McCain and his presumptive second term veepee, Secretary of Defense Joe Lieberman, respond that they are disappointed to learn that Palin's an incompetent moron who's unready to lead. Palin secures the endorsement of Sam Wurzelbacher, who's outraged that McCain's policies have killed both his once thriving hypothetical business and the State of Israel. McCain tells party members he's not Palin, and Palin tells them she's not McCain. Both are the real outsider with a record of reforming the McCain Administration and battling the special interests to which their opponent persistently pander. Both are best equipped to the defeat the presumptive Democratic nominee, Mitt Romney. The candidates' chiefs of staff, John Hagee and Thomas Muthee, face off in a series of church hall debates hosted by Chief Justice Rick Warren.

The possibilities are endless.

Will Instacracker, who was all over Ashley Todd like white on false accusations against Obama supporters, cover this story involving two fellow gun enthusiasts from Tennesee?

A rant against the BATF is always a possibility, or maybe a meditation on anti-gun bias in the media.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Take His Hulk Tie And Shoelaces, He's Goin' Away

A corrupt Alaska Republican not named Palin makes the news today. The Duke Cunningham of the North is going to the federal pen:

The verdict was announced just after 4 p.m. in a packed courtroom in U.S. District Court in Washington. Stevens (R) sat quietly as the jury foreman said the panel had reached a unanimous decision and found Stevens guilty on all seven counts of filing false financial disclosure forms.

Jurors, who re-started their deliberations at 9:30 a.m. today when a juror was replaced by an alternate, were somber as they walked into the courtroom to deliver the verdict and did not look at Stevens. No sentencing date has been set, and Stevens's attorneys are expected to file motions seeking to have the verdict set aside.

Despite the guilty verdict, Stevens remains on the ballot in Alaska, where he is locked in a tight race with Anchorage Mayor Mark Begich.

...

Stevens was also accused of accepting other gifts, ranging from a $2,700 massage chair to a sled dog....

In the case of the chair, a friend testified he gave the Brookstone lounger to Stevens as a gift. But the senator sent him an e-mail at the time saying the chair was just a loan. Stevens asserted on the witness stand that the lounger was only a loan, even though it has been in his basement for seven years.

Seven years is a long time, as Senator Ted will soon find out. All that time just for acting like a typical Republican -- and getting caught.

How Can You Possibly Argue With Logic Like This?

Let's have a look at the evidence in question. First and foremost, the spring 1996 issue of New Party News, the leading publication of the New Party at the time, clearly claims that Barack Obama is a party member. If the New Party didn't actually have members, why would the chief party organ claim that it did? Again, logically, how can a political party exist without members?

Air-fuckin'-tight.

Katfight

Katty Parker wrote a column accusing Republicans who support Palin -- beginning with John McCain -- of thinking with their cocks. (Which would make their cocks as stupid as the rest of them.)

Katty J. Lopez raises her head from her Purina Editor Chow and hisses:

Because I know some of you are understandably and sensibly wondering WHY?: We're running our roster of syndicated columns through the election. Period. So that's why we published one today that is embarrassing and outrageous.

All this fight lacks for a happy ending a burlap sack and a river.

Dream On

Steve Benen:

There's been an ongoing "debate" (I use the word loosely) of late about Drudge's influence, and the [Ashley] Todd fiasco is likely to do some lasting harm to his credibility and judgment. It's about time.

About time? Remember Alexandra Polier? About time is a distant memory.

Eggs Drudge has no credibility, and he never has. His judgment isn't any worse than it always was. And he will continue "ruling [their] world" (to quote Halperin and Harris) because Drudge's influential groupies don't care a whit about accuracy or integrity or fairness. All they care about is the friction.

E! False Hollywood Story

Sideshow Bob is feeling put-upon:

"Are you kidding me? Of course it's true," Kelsey Grammer said when asked whether the town is hostile to conservatives. "I wish Hollywood was a two-party town, but it's not."

Grammer said he knows of a makeup trailer that sported a sign warning Republicans to keep out and of U.S. war veterans who keep their backgrounds a secret from their Hollywood co-workers because they hear them belittle the military.

He even said that, earlier in his career, his job was threatened by a prominent sitcom director who demanded he donate money to Barbara Boxer's U.S. Senate campaign. To keep his job, he gave $10,000 to Boxer and the Democrats.

Nowadays, Grammer is a bankable actor who is unafraid to speak his mind. His advice to less established industry players, though, is to shut up about politics -- "unless you think the way you are supposed to think," and that means liberal.

Interesting. Because back in 1992, an individual contributions of $10K to federal candidate were illegal. According to Newsmeat, Grammer only gave one thousand to Boxer's Senate run, on October 20, 1992. Big difference. Well, maybe the reporter got it wrong. Or maybe Grammer had a coke dealer named Boxer for Senate.

More interesting is the fact that ol' Kelse wrote the check during the last season of Cheers, just months before filming started on his own spin-off series, Frasier. Are we to believe that the unnamed teevee director had such pull he could get Grammer canned midway through filming of the last season of one of the most popular shows then airing, three years after Grammer had a deal with Paramount to star in his own television program, and while he was working with the three executive producers of Cheers to create the spin-off? For a one K contribution? I strongly suggest Sideshow Bob will never name that nefarious director, bankable though he may now be.

Kids, don't do drugs. They turn you into a Republican and a victim of your own imagination.

(Link found via Pandagon)

We All Scream For Mickey Kaus Making An Ass of HImself

How big of a moron do you have to be to be a friend of Mickey Kaus? At least as moronic as Kaus himself. The slaphead midget reproduces a tearful e-missive from one of his non-imaginary friends, which reads as follows:

OK. So depressed about this election that I had to go to Baskin-Robbins and just buy a pint of ice cream and some caramel cones for [my son].
And of course, of course, I get there trying to drown my sorrows, and the flavor of the month is
"Whirl of Change."
"Whirl of Change" with a little Democratic donkey sign.
It's like peanut nougat ice cream with chunks of chocolate enrobed in more chocolate.
And I think it's also some kind of horrific multiracial metaphor.
But anyway so "Whirl of Change." Flavor of the month at Baskin Robbins.

Boo frickin' hoo! Hearing this news, Kaus can't help but prance through a puddle of his own pretend victimhood. He whines, "Baskin-Robbins is doing its part!"

Sorry to ruin the pity party, Mickey, but you can go down to your local B-R parlor and suck on the "Straight Talk Express" until you're as blue in the face as a U.S. map come November 4.

In frozen confections, as in real life, Kaus is the biggest loser.

Update: (10/24): Kaus has now added the link to the Baskin-Robbins site as "Background," without noting that he made the change 4 or 5 days after the original post. Maybe he reads this site.

The link, of course, undermines the paranoid point of Kaus's post, which was that Baskin-Robbins was shoving Barry X into the faces of poor persecuted Republicans, who can't even enjoy a cone without facing pro-Democratic propaganda. Kaus's fellow right-winger has such a persecution complex he didn't notice that the company offered flavors for both candidates, which anyone with a two-digit i.q. could have guessed. His little pal's next e-mail will claim the soda jerk carved an X into his forehead with one of those little wooden spoons.

In any event, the real outrage here is the lack of treats honoring Bob Barr (a cafe au lait fudgesicle covered in whipped cream and fruit loops), Cynthia McKinney (mint chocolate chip) and Ralph Nader (something made of hummus and mohair).

Jammy Dodgers

Perpetual failed magazine intern Jammy Kirchick writes:

A not insignificant portion of liberals in this country believe that a small group of Jews, er, the "neocons," took control of the government following 9/11 to fight wars on behalf of Israel. Is not this slander as odious as the Internet rumors about Barack Obama?

Why, yes it is, Jammy. It's nice to see you admit you're a right-wing smear merchant.

No liberal believes that Bush, Cheney, Rummy, Condi, McCain et al. are Jews, and no liberal believes that those folks took control of the government following 9/11. They, and their war plans, were firmly in place before September 2001.

The existence of a few second-tier suck-ups in the Administration and some two-bit think tank wankers who sought to tie the Administration's delusions of conquest to the support of Israel doesn't make liberals conspiracy theorists or anti-semites.

It's telling that the only member of the "significant portion" of American leftists Jammy can name is the non-liberal (and Jewish) Joe Klein, who I won't bother to defend except to point out that he didn't espouse the beliefs Jammy attributes to the left. Jammy then cites a bunch of leftys who purportedly use "Nazi allegories to describe people and policies they don't like," which is hardly the m.o. of rabid anti-semites. Pick a smear and then stick with it, Jammy!

BoBo Brooks was discredited for publishing the same slander that Jammy now spouts, and BoBo was forced to eat his words. Perhaps Jammy's angling for a spot on the NYT editorial page come November, after MoDo and BoBo are institutionalized for "exhaustion."

No On 4 and 8

I may be preaching to an ever-diminishing choir of Californians who bother to check this site to see if I've posted anything in the last four days, but I hope you choristers will vote No on Proposition 8. Do you really want to live in the type of hellhole that makes Massachusetts and Connecticut look bastions of reason and tolerance?

Also deserving of a "No" vote is the much less well-known Proposition 4, which will restrict abortion rights in another big government power grab perpetrated by a bunch of dishonest right-wing scumbags who have no concern for the rights or safety of women.

My friends, the presidential election isn't the end of the fight; it's just the beginning. The landscape is littered with wingnuts and they must all be sent back to the rocks whence they crawled out.

Shorter Third Presidential Debate

What Part Of Choice, Rights and Freedom Don't You Understand?

Lisa Schiffren is a demented freak. From The Corner:

Teenagers Acting Better Than Their Elders [Lisa Schiffren]

I was going to e-mail this story about a town in Texas where the high-school kids voted a classmate with Down Syndrome homecoming queen to all of the people I know who have expressed horror or contempt for Sarah Palin for not aborting Trig. But that would have taken too long. ...

What Schiffren is saying is that she is personally acquainted with, and knows the e-mail addresses of, innumerable people who have expressed contempt for Palin for not having an abortion.

What she means to say is that the view she attributes to those innumerable people is a prevalent view.

What she means to insinuate is that the view she attributes to innumerable people is a prevalent view among those who support abortion rights, or among liberals.

The composition and accuracy of the post both explain why Schiffren was a speechwriter for Dan Quayle.

Defining Leadership Down

This morning on MSNBC, Andrea Mitchell described McCain's refusal to agree with his supporter that Senator Obama is an Arab an act of leadership.

I hear she also believes that Alan Greenspan is well-hung.

Sean Hannity and the Martinettes

Here's some unsurprising news about Sean Hannity's friend and source, Andy Martin:

A motion he filed in a 1983 bankruptcy case called the judge "a crooked, slimy Jew who has a history of lying and thieving common to members of his race."

In another motion, filed in 1983, Mr. Martin wrote, "I am able to understand how the Holocaust took place, and with every passing day feel less and less sorry that it did."

In an interview, Mr. Martin denied some statements against Jews attributed to him in court papers, blaming malicious judges for inserting them.

But in his "48 Hours" interview in 1993, he affirmed a different anti-Semitic part of the affidavit that included the line about the Holocaust, saying, "The record speaks for itself."

When asked Friday about an assertion in his court papers that "Jews, historically and in daily living, act through clans and in wolf pack syndrome," he said, "That one sort of rings a bell."

We all know exactly what Hannity is, but some people choose to look the other way. Take, for instance, Joe Lieberman, who continues to pal around with Hannity even after it was revealed that Hannity vouches for anti-Semitic lunatics.

Give The Barone His Bottle

The latest Republican pantywaist to squeal like a castrated pig is Michael Barone, who, according to urban legend was once inexplicably respected for something. Here's the latest snivel-fest, in which Barone channels the corpse of John Leo:

Actually, Obama supporters are doing a lot more than getting into people's faces. They seem determined to shut people up.

That's what Obama supporters, alerted by campaign emails, did when conservative Stanley Kurtz appeared on Milt Rosenberg's WGN radio program in Chicago. Kurtz had been researching Obama's relationship with unrepentant Weather Underground terrorist William Ayers in Chicago Annenberg Challenge papers in the Richard J. Daley Library in Chicago — papers that were closed off to him for some days, apparently at the behest of Obama supporters.

Obama fans jammed WGN's phone lines and sent in hundreds of protest emails. The message was clear to anyone who would follow Rosenberg's example. We will make trouble for you if you let anyone make the case against The One.

Those nasty, nasty Obama supporters, shutting people up by calling in to radio call-in programs and sending electronic mail messages. Such thuggery!

I'm certain that if I asked nicely, Barone's enablers, FOX News and U.S. News & World Report, would give me all the time and space I wanted to make rebut their fairy tales of the Thug Obama.

God, these Pukes are weak as water.

Dear Chris Buckley

You might want to stay away from the railings on that National Review post-election cruise. You've got a small child to not raise, after all.

Regards, Roger

Moosestepping

It's official. Sharia Plain treats the Alaska State Police as her own personal Moosetapo, existing solely to eliminate enemies of the Supreme Leader.

Or should I say, her own personal Todd-ler Youth?

Perhaps now the SCLM will cease its portrayal of Sharia is inarticulate but virtuous, and start reporting that she, like Bush, is both stupid and evil.

Shite Said Fred

Fred Barnes is cheesed off that last night's "town hall" "debate" didn't make time for any LaRouchies or Bible-humpers:

The candidates were queried on a narrow range of foreign, economic, health care, and environmental issues -- the stuff they talk about every day at rallies and fundraisers. These didn't come close to what voters at a real town hall meeting might have asked. There was no mention of abortion, immigration, moral values, same sex marriage, guns, their role models, their view of the presidency, or their religious faith.

There's just no pleasing our Freddy. Here's what he said about the Republican "You Tube" debate some 10 months ago:

But it was chiefly the questions and who asked them that made the debate so appalling. By my recollection, there were no questions on health care, the economy, trade, the S-chip children's health care issue, the "surge" in Iraq, the spending showdown between President Bush and Congress, terrorist surveillance, or the performance of the Democratic Congress.

For those keeping score, that would be a narrow range of foreign, economic and health care issues.

But wait, there's more. Back then, Fred bitched that

By my count, of the 30-plus questions, there were 6 on immigration, 3 on guns, 2 on abortion, 2 on gays, and one on whether the candidates believe every word in the Bible. These are exactly the issues, in the view of liberals and many in the media, on which Republicans look particularly unattractive.

That would be your abortion, your immigration, your moral values, your same sex marriage, your guns and your religious faith.

Barnes' real complaint, of course, is that the voters have rejected McCain/Palin on the economy, foreign policy, health care and the environment, and that the Republican ticket's only hope in hell is to demagogue "moral values" and pander to rabid-right fundies like Barnes himself. As we can see, however, had the debate focused on social issues, Barnes would wail that the proceedings were intended to make McCain look particularly unnattractive.

Barnes doesn't really care what the questions are. The only things he cares about are keeping the Republicans in power and keeping his Republican paychecks rolling in.

Point of Personal Privilege

Could everyone please stop saying game changer?

That phrase is working my last nerve like people who use the phrase working my last nerve.

Thank you for your consideration.

Diebold Goes To The Movies

Sadly, No! has uncovered the most disturbing election fraud since Baskin-Robbins made John McCain spumoni in its Elect Your Flavorite straw poll. But the victim is fighting back:

We have had heard from numerous people across the country that there has been some ticket fraud when buying a ticket for An American Carol this past weekend.

Please check your ticket. If you were in fact one of those people that were "mistakenly" sold a ticket for another movie please fill out the form below. Hold on to your ticket so we can have proof.

If you have noticed other irregularities with the theatres in your area please let us know in the comment section below. For instance, Rated R film rating (when in fact we are rated PG-13), posters not being up, not being listed on the marquee, image or focus problems, sound issues, etc.

Please email us a picture of your ticket stub to fraud@americancarol.com

We are investigating.

I urge every good American to submit his or her personal horror story to the filmmakers, who are investigating. Your ticket to any other movie is the proof that's needed to blow this thing wide open! Your $9.50 is gone -- don't let them take our democracy as well.

Track Marks

Marty Peretz and Margo Howard are asserting that Track Palin was given the choice between military service or jail for dealing drugs. Howie Kurtz is certain that the story that Track is a drug abuser is totally bogus. Of course, both, or neither, could be true.

Perhaps someone will ask Howie in his little chit-chat today.

Shorter Rich Lowry

"I just threw up a little bit in my pants."

Michael Berube has a fun post on the worst cover song ever. I have nothing to add to it.

An Even Bigger Hack Named Kurtz

I suspect the real reason Stanley Kurtz's various paranoid fantasies about Barry X aren't getting any traction is that ol' Stan sounds like a soccer mom. I heard him on an XM Radio broadcast of Fox News, being interviewed by Steve Douchie about Senator Obama's purported ties to ACORN (which is solely responsible for the New Great Depression!), and he sounded like a constipated and terminally offended middle-aged white woman, whinging on about some people from her church she couldn't stand.

And Kurtz's delusion that the media isn't covering his delusions is laughable, given the amount of time and space he's been given on/in every Rupert Murdoch outlet (the WSJ, Fox News and the New York Post) that wouldn't require him to pose with his tits out.

Update (10/5): A reader with perfect pitch passes on this suggestion for Stanley's sound-a-like. Well spotted!

Winners and Losers

The clear loser of last night's debate was John McCain. The event was a 90-minute demonstration that McCain is unfit to be President.

The clear winner was the American people of 33 days into the future. Except for those living in Alaska, who are just screwed.

White Social Pathology

Why do the leaders of the White community refuse to confront the social pathologies that harm their children?

"The father is notably absent from the minor child's life," despite the mom's efforts to try to get him involved, the suit says.

"As Jonathan gets older, he requires love, attention and a notable involvement in his life from his father," the suit says.

"It is in Jonathan's best interest and welfare for this court to impose a contact and access schedule on the father, so that Jonathan can establish a relationship with his father and extended paternal family."

Couldn't the father at least take Jonathan on a nice cruise, to meet his Aunt Kathryn and Uncle Mitt?

Black Hole Sun

That's what the investors said.

Hang my head
Drown my fear
'Til you all just
Disappear

But don't worry. Seth Lipsky has already found a new gig as the Viagra wrangler for Pajamas Media. It's demeaning, entry-level work of questionable legality, but someone's got to do it.

Defining Stupidity Down

If I was asked to pretend to be a wingnut and then asked what Supreme Court decision I disagreed with, I could foam at the mouth extemporaneously about Kelo v. New London or Lawrence v. Texas or Hamdam v. Rumsfeld or Regents v. Bakke. In my sleep.

Couric's questions to Sharia P. weren't softballs, they were friggin' Academy Award gift baskets.

By the way, the correct answer to the question is Bush v. Gore.

I just remembered I have a blog

I've been busy prepping Governor Palin for Thursday's debate, so I haven't had time to post. But I got an interesting e-mail from genuine anonymous member of the EMESSEM that I thought I'd share with you. The reader has kindly given permission to post this, without his name:

My name is [name withheld], owner and associate partner Eric Erickson Associates, a law firm located in Scotland.

I have a legitimate contract job offer for you, i want to know if you will like to help my client invest in your country and get paid for your services
without leaving or affecting your present job?

I represent Pojamarn Shinawatra , the wife of ousted Thailand Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra here in after shall be referred to as my client and it is on
her instruction that i am doing all that i am doing now.

We are looking for a foreign individual or a corporate body that can profitably invest $150M on real estates outside Asia.

Most importantly, you will be required to invest these funds on real estates preferably in your country of residence outside of Hong Kong.

My client is generously willing to pay you 10% of the contract sum for your partnership role and services rendered in this investment business transaction.

Trust me; this is once in a life time opportunity i bet you can't afford to miss.

If you prefer to be re-contacted for more express information, write back promptly i look forward to it.

I expect your correspondence as my response with more information on this investment proposal will be swift.

This confirms everything I suspected about the EMESSEM.