The post references an article about the United Nations Population Fund delivering contraceptives to cyclone survivors in Myanmar. Lopez lifted her clever insult from the song "One Night in Bangkok" from the musical Chess, obviously unconcerned by the fact that Thailand and Myanmar are two different countries or that thousands of women and children from Myanmar are trafficked into Thailand for forced prostitution. If Lopez has seen one filthy godless fucking Asian, she's seen them all.

Bob Barr, The World's First Self-Assassinating Presidential Candidate

A quick flashback to August 2002, when the presumptive Libertarian nominee was demonstrating his proficiency with firearms:

(AP) An antique .38-caliber pistol accidentally discharged as it was being handled by U.S. Rep. Bob Barr during a reception in his honor. The bullet hit a glass door, and no one was hurt.

Georgia lobbyist Bruce Widener said Tuesday that he had removed the magazine from his 1908 Colt but did not clear the chamber before handing the weapon to Barr, a board member of the National Rifle Association.

Widener said "one of us hit the trigger" just as he gave Barr the gun during Friday's reception at Widener's home.

In his defense, Barr didn't almost kill himself with pretzel.

This goes a long way toward explaining why the Libertarian Party is so small.

Update: Lest I be accused of coronating Boob Barr and find myself embroiled in a bitter blog war among libertarians, I should mention that Mike Gravel and some other idiots are also seeking the Libertarian Party nomination. This fight could go all the way to the convention, which is being held this year in North America's largest truck stop men's room.

Howie Kurtz Confirms Cindy McCain's Criminal Record

From today's Ask the Putz Show, at washingtonpost.com:

Atlanta: Until last week, I thought the people who said they wouldn't vote for Sen. Obama because "he's a Muslim" were simply uninformed xenophobes. But on at least three occasions during the post-primary coverage (on NPR, ABC World News and CNN), when voters repeated the Muslim and flag rumors, they were left unchallenged by the reporter -- allowing those rumors to hang in the air and perhaps gain more traction. How do the media use the voices of regular people without becoming an echo chamber of misinformation?

Howard Kurtz: It's easy. Any time you mention an unfounded rumor, or quote someone as doing so, you have to say, clearly and unequivocally, that it's false. A failure to do so is a serious journalistic lapse, in my view.

...

New York: Perhaps not surprisingly, you've given Republican "bloggers" closely tied to the Republican Party a pass for their attacks on Michelle Obama, often even amplifying them. Are you willing to behave similarly if Democratic bloggers bring Cindy McCain into the fray? I'm not talking about her being rich here (that's no crime). I'm talking about real crimes -- her criminal record.

Howard Kurtz: My daily Web column is designed to give readers a taste of what commentators on the left and the right are saying, not for me to constantly debate those bloggers. Obama's GMA defense of his wife was all over cable news yesterday. But I have to say, while I don't like personal attacks on candidates' spouses, if a spouse goes on the campaign trail and then says something controversial -- like "first time I've been proud of my country" -- that is fair game. Spouses who don't want to be in the political crossfire can always choose not to campaign.

Did Howie say, clearly and unquivocally, that Cindy "Big Pharma" McCain doesn't have a criminal record? Not a syllable. The Putz has confirmed Cindy's lawbreaking activities.

For those who might protest that the Putz was simply answering questions: try harder. Howie's the one choosing the questions to answer -- which is why you never see questions pointing out his family ties to the G.O.P. or his constant Fox News-fluffing. (See the Editor's Note at the bottom of the page.) The Putz is, in fact, quoting the commenter from New York. Either the Putz is sitting on the real dirt on Cindy, or he's committed yet another serious journalistic lapse. My bet is on both.

Steyn and Levin, The World's Stupidest Bloggers

They're playing stupid over at The Corner again. How they manage to stay in character for years at a time, I'll never know.

Re: The New Internationalism? [Mark Steyn]

Yuval, that Obama quote on ceding U.S. thermostat sovereignty to the EU deserves to be savored in full:

"We can't drive our SUVs and eat as much as we want and keep our homes on 72 degrees at all times ... and then just expect that other countries are going to say OK," Obama said.

"That's not leadership. That's not going to happen," he added.

So "leadership" means finding out what other countries want from America and then doing it. Good luck with that.

05/19 02:37 PM

The New Internationalism? [Yuval Levin]

It looks like Barack Obama has figured out how to get 'them' to like us:

“We can't drive our SUVs and eat as much as we want and keep our homes on 72 degrees at all times ... and then just expect that other countries are going to say OK,” Obama said.

We can't? So at what temperature would other countries like me to keep my home, then, and how much should I eat?

There's a winning message.

What Shit Steyn and Mark Levin's even uglier brother or sister fail to comprehend -- either intentionally or due to heredity -- is that Senator Obama is explaining that citizens other countries will not see any reason to discontinue environmentally harmful practices if the United States does not lead by example. And that the American economy can prosper through the development of clean technologies that other countries will want to buy. The Senator's not going to take the extra batteries out of your dildoes, boys.

The Audacity of A Pulse

Meanwhile, Senator Obama is drawing the kinds of crowds McCain couldn't pull even with a previously-unreleased episode of Matlock on the Jumbotron, a 3:00 p.m. dinner special and a reunion of all the advisers he's shitcanned and lobbyists he's in bed with.

Fortunately, It's Not Funny

I don't watch "Saturday Night Live," but I'm not surprised at the kid glove treatment that Saint John got on the program:

Starring in two short skits on the season finale of "Saturday Night Live," John McCain reeled off a series of one-liners that generally earned little more than mild chuckles.

But it's a good bet he and his staff could not be more pleased with the exposure he got -- especially the chance to use humor to try to defuse one of the big questions shadowing his presidential candidacy.

After all, there are limits on direct contributions:

MICHAELS, LORNE MR.
NEW YORK , NY 10023
SNL/EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
John McCain (R)
President
JOHN MCCAIN 2008 INC. - $1,300
primary 05/11/07

MICHAELS, LORNE MR.
NEW YORK , NY 10023
SNL/EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
John McCain (R)
President
JOHN MCCAIN 2008 INC. - $1,000

Michaels, Lorne Mr.
New York, NY 10019
SNL/Executive Producer
STRAIGHT TALK AMERICA - $1,000
primary 10/19/06

MICHAELS, LORNE MR
NEW YORK, NY 10019
SNL
MCCAIN, JOHN S (R)
Senate - AZ
FRIENDS OF JOHN MCCAIN
Won
$1,000
general 10/30/04

Michaels, Lorne Mr.
New York, NY 10019
John McCain (R)
President
MCCAIN 2000 INC
Lost
$1,000
primary 02/29/00

Michaels has given mostly to Dems, but never in a race against Saint John. And, yes, I appreciate that the program goes easy on a lot of pols and celebs when they're making an appearance (or else they wouldn't show), but I haven't read about one McCain gag coming from the program, while the Dem-bashing gags make the news most every week.

The Big Wet One

I wish I had the adult undergarment concession for the right-wing blogosphere on this story:

BAGHDAD — The commander of United States troops in Baghdad asked local leaders and tribal sheiks this weekend for their forgiveness after the discovery that a soldier had used a Koran for target practice at a shooting range.

Responding to an episode ripe with the potential to stoke unrest, the commander, Maj. Gen. Jeffery Hammond, held a meeting Saturday with Iraqi leaders.

"I come before you here seeking your forgiveness," General Hammond said at the meeting, in remarks carried by CNN. "In the most humble manner, I look in your eyes today and I say, please forgive me and my soldiers."

General Hammond also read a letter of apology from the soldier, who was not identified. "I sincerely hope that my actions have not diminished the partnership that our two nations have developed together," the general read from the letter.

Another American officer kissed a Koran and gave it to the tribal leaders, according to news agency reports.

On the other hand, the American soldier was sent of Iraq, so we may see many more assassinated scriptures in the coming months. (And years, if Saint John has his way.)

June Weddings

The California Supreme Court is being accused of judicial activism by people who wouldn't recognize the California Constitution if it bit them on the ass.

I expect invitations to all my loyal readers' weddings, at the very least, if not a proposal or two. June 14 is wide open for me.

The only thing that would make this day better would be the announcement of a boycott of the Golden State by those who oppose the decision. Tennessee is quite lovely; you'll never know the difference.

The Ashtray State

The downside of tonight's election result is that Senator Clinton spent so much time in West Virginia that she surely has lung cancer by now.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Vito-80-Proof Majority Edition

Vito "Point One Seven" Fossella is a Republican rarity - someone who's both too vile for his fellow Republicans and heterosexual. But he's got his defenders as well:

Long Island congressman Peter King slammed fellow Republicans for "posturing" by pressuring his close friend Rep. Vito Fossella about resigning amid revelations of Fossella's drunken-driving arrest and secret love child.

"To me, it's putting a knife in the back of a good guy who's made a mistake," said King (R-Seaford).

Or running a stoplight while shitfaced, crushing a good guy with your car, backing up, running over him again, and then leaving the scene to avoid arrest. Damn posers!

Or maybe it's like putting the salami in your mistress in foreign lands on the taxpayer dime.

King, who said he'd been with Fossella "continually" in the past few days, said the two have not discussed how the scandal might tint Fossella's political future.

King said Republicans "who are supposed to be his friends" should be giving the Staten Island-Brooklyn Republican "the time and opportunity to make that decision" -- whether to resign, to serve out his term but leave afterward or to stay in office and seek another term -- "himself."

Fortunately, Fossella has true friends like Peter -- and Brian (almost certainly two different individuals):

The Daily News reports the congressman and his buddy got kicked out of a Washington, D.C., bar hours before Fossella's arrest. Waiters at the Logan Tavern tell the paper that both men were incapable of driving and that at one point, Fossella's pal—known only as "Brian"—passed out in front of the men's room.

(Brian and Peter. I guess that makes Vito Stewie.)

But Peter King wants Vito back in the House, where they can get drunk on power and piss on the Constitution.

Update (5/15): Finally (!) corrected.

The least that you can do for me
Is keep it to yourself
I'm so sorry I don't mean to shout
It's just that I can do without
The details of your days and nights and your thoughts and dreams
Maureen, Maureen, Maureen, Maureen, Maureen

-- Fountains of Wayne

The latest MoDo column has:

(a) Hillary hating
(b) Clenis jokes
(c) Numerous emasculation references
(d) Tedious descriptions of ancient Hepburn films
(e) No point
(f) All of the above

Friends Without Benefits

Kathy J. Lopez's crusade to make abstinence fun continues unabated:

I'm a big fan of programs that treat children like people, not animals. Programs that operate under the assumption that if you love them enough to challenge them, they often won't disappoint you. That even if they do, you've planted seeds and given them a compass that will flourish, or at least help, when they need it most. Yes, some teenagers will have sex. They're human like everyone else — only with overactive hormones. But there is great promise for kids who are given other options. Sex tends to be near everywhere — amplified and romanticized, free of consequences — in our culture and adults frequently don't help matters. Present young people with other possibilities — other than instant gratification — make them fun and inviting and constructive and you'll be surprised what you get out of creative, energetic youngsters.

What kid can't use a flourishing compass?

And what fun, constructive and gratification-delaying alternatives to sex does our Kath propose? Well, Rockin' with the Oldies, for one:

Since I had missed young Colin Powell and Bill Bennett singing "How Sweet It Is" in shades and leather bomber jackets in years past, I was glad to get the flashback during a brief video presentation during dinner. Having been a faithful Solid Gold viewer, I got a kick out of seeing that Marilyn McCoo has not aged a day since Ronald Reagan was president. She's still in her prime singing "One Less Bell to Answer."

It was a fun D.C. party unlike any others. Mike Pence, Jack Kemp, and, of course, Bill Bennett, were all spotted on the dance floor. Best Friends friends Alma Powell, Senator Mel Martinez, and Herb London of the Hudson Institute hung on until the very end last night, through the tireless Chuck Brown.

Who wouldn't prefer grampa singing karaoke to fornication?

But the Best Friends program isn't all In Da Club For Growth. It's also about mentoring. Jack Kemp teaches at-risk youth the fundamentals of football. Bill Bennett shows them how to shoot dice and trigger Type 2 diabetes. Colin Powell instructs them on how to lie to the United Nations and thereafter successfully avoid responsibility for doing so. Mike Pence encourages them join the military so they can act as human shields for him and John McCain when they tour Bagdhad.

And, yes, this is the fundraiser where Bill O'Reilly accused the program's beneficiaries of using their creativity and energy to steal their benefactors' hubcaps.