'Twas Beauty killed the Painter of Light:
[Thomas] Kinkade, 54, was found by Pinto-Walsh dead in his bed the morning of April 6. The coroner determined he died of a lethal level of alcohol after a night of heavy drinking and popping Valium. In an interview with this newspaper shortly after his death, Kinkade's brother, Patrick, said that the artist had been an alcoholic, and while he had made an effort to remain sober for the previous few months, he relapsed. Patrick Kinkade also said his separation from his wife and four daughters two years earlier had taken their [sic] toll as well as criticism from the fine art world that his fairy-tale images of pastoral scenes and lampposts were kitsch.
Anything that I could say about this story would be in such poor taste that I could get rich selling it to Kinkade's fans.