Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Extremist Makeover: House Edition

Did you know Catfood Commissioner-For-Life Paul Ryan is a compassionate conservative?  According to a trial balloon floated in the Republican organ PoliticHo, he is indeed!
Campaign sources tell us that within days of being named Romney’s running mate, Ryan began agitating to reach out to people living in disadvantaged, at-risk communities, arguing internally that Republicans are badly served when they seem to be talking only to rich white people and advancing an agenda that benefits primarily the well-off. He contended that the real victims of the war on poverty — the poor — don’t trust Republicans and might be less suspicious if they got the sense that the party cared about them or was sympathetic to their needs.
The response from Romney aides: Forget it. Romney advisers decreed that there was no obvious political constituency for those ideas that was winnable by Republicans and that it was off-message for a campaign preaching a broader economic message. With two weeks left in the campaign, Ryan finally gave a civil society speech at Cleveland State University, one of his favorite moments of the campaign. But the speech was too late and was drowned out.  
You'll recall that Sarah Palin-with-a-heart was so dedicated to the poor that he even offered to re-wash their dishes in the presence of the media.

Even PoliticHo (in the personages of stenographers Slappy Ho and VandeHo) has trouble keeping an older straight, white face telling this tale:

Ryan held his tongue as long as he was on the ticket but on Tuesday night will say what he has been wanting to say for months — but which, to be fair, he has seldom said during the course of his political career.
But the 'Ho assures us it must be true because don't worry your pretty little heads
Top Republicans tell us Ryan tried to push his ideas for a more creative “war on poverty” during the presidential campaign but was muzzled by nervous Nellies at Mitt Romney’s Boston headquarters who didn’t see an immediate political payoff. So Ryan seethed when the “47 percent” tape emerged, convinced that the impact was worse because the campaign had no record on issues relating to inclusion or poverty, exacerbating the out-of-touch image that the hidden camera cemented.
If only Mitt Romney had listened to these selfless sages who refuse to take credit for their brilliant strategy -- he assuredly would've won the under $50K voters as well.

Missing from this fantasy on ice is a response from Romney, his advisers, or his Nellies.  But dead men contradict no narratives.

Meanwhile Marco Rubio's setting in motion a plan that's sure to please: "Rubio’s Senate chief of staff is Cesar Conda, an expert policy mechanic who worked in the George W. Bush White House as an economic adviser to Vice President Dick Cheney."  A no-bid defense contract in every pot is the new trickle-down Laffer curve.


Montag said...

Washington seems now to be like Vietnam: "The bullshit piles up so fast in this place you need wings to stay above it."

First, it was the numerous stories about the Rmoneys being lost and forlorn after snatching defeat from the wallets of the billionaires. Now, we have the attempt to portray a creepy little Gollum like Ryan as Mother Theresa.

When, oh, when do these guys finally drown in their own pee?

aimai said...

Actually, Romney's campaign consultants have been spilling their little guts at the Harvard Kennedy School campaign thingy last week. There they detailed their "five point plan" for coming back from the 47 percenter comments. It will not surprise you that none of the five points was...on point, or mentioned the issue at all. one of them was "do well in debates" and another was "put Mitt behind a Podium, don't allow him to wander around shouting at people." So Ryan could have offered to dress up as a Hobo and go kiss hobo babies and the probably would have told him "we've got this: we are excuting our plan." But somehow I doubt that he offered to do anything at all with the poors. Because whatever you can say about Ryan he's not shy. he's an asshole, and he's quite confident in himself. So if he wanted to have made some kind of dent in that campaign--he would have done it.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Compassionate Conservatives? A Thousand Points of Light?

Oh, right. After "Moochers just want free stuff", the only message that can survive a GOP primary.

Anonymous said...

I'm curious what a creative war on poverty might entail. Or do we know it already? Cut food stamps, Medicaid, & unemployment insurance, impose minimum tax on low incomes to "broaden the tax base". Or simply cut taxes on the rich, so they'll hire more maids and gardeners.

Anonymous said...

If Paul Ryan could bulldoze the poor moochers out of existence without being charged with a crime, he would buy stock in Caterpillar and get to work.

Anonymous said...

I have no trouble believing that Ryan agitated for reaching out to the poor. Reaching out Asians and Hispanics, apparently, is telling them that they too can join with and receive the bounty of being American, including being accepted to the elite club of the GOP, by adopting American culture and dropping fe'rner ways and attitudes.

An analogous outreach to the poor would be to tell them they too can be rich, just stop being a taker, give up the Obama phone and become a producer. Ryan's gigantic tax cuts, really tax elimination, for the rich are really tax cuts to all the poor people who will become rich due to his outreach. It's worth pointing out that this is not just a reductio ad absurdum of Ryan's particular brand of Republican gimmickry. It is in fact the explicit case that he's making.

Anonymous said...

What a stupid post. Lots of sneering, name calling and tendentious assertions but no actual attempt to gather evidence and use it to build an argument.

What sort of people actually *read* such swill? It boggles the mind, and depresses.

Anonymous said...

What a stupid post. Lots of sneering, name calling and tendentious assertions but no actual attempt to gather evidence and use it to build an argument.

You must be new.

Montag said...

Not only new, but hasn't been paying attention for a loooonnnng time....

Anonymous said...
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