Die Zukunft der Großartigen Alten ParteiSay you're at Bronko's Restaurant and Lounge in Crown Point, Indiana, having a round with Hillary Clinton, and you want to consult with local attorney and Republican Congressional candidate Tony Zirkle. You just take North Main Street to East North Street, and head east on East North (which turns into East 109th at Broadway) for 4.7 miles. You're now at Tony's office.
Tony, who's had trouble drawing crowds to campaign events, recently made headlines when took his anti-porn crusade across state lines to a celebration of Adolf Hitler's birthday by the Illinois Nazi Party. Tony's not a Nazi himself, he was simply there to express "his concern about 'the targeting of young white women and for pornography and prostitution.'"
Which is not to say Tony's not an expert on the birthday boy. His expertise on the origins of fascism rivals Jonah Goldberg's, as this quote reveals:
WWII may never have happened had we not neglected pornography and prostitution in the Jewish community. Hitler would not have had his most powerful argument when he claimed that Jews cartelled 97% of all international prostitution. Let's not repeat history.
I'm not sure what that means, but it can't be good.
Tony seems to be a kindred spirit to fellow porn unenthusiast Kathryn Jean Lopez. (Zirkle's a Catholic too. This could be a match made in heaven.)
I imagine this story might lead to some ugly stereotyping of Indianans as bigots and boobs. But Tony, who hails from Tipton, is not just any Hoosier shyster. He graduated Andrews University with a B.A. in Economics and from Georgetown with a Bachelor of Science degree in Foreign Service, majoring in International Economics. He spent two years at the U.S. Naval Academy. In 1997, he graduated with a J.D. from the Indiana University School of Law at Bloomington, where he took courses in Federal Divorce Law (!) and Divorce Procedure. (Sadly, those courses are no longer offered.) In 2000, as a St. Joseph's County prosecutor, he won "the 'Make My Day Award' for the Record Number of Jury Trials and for Lack of Fear in the Courtroom."
In short, Tony is Indiana's finest.
(Story via about 500 other blogs.)