Monday, October 22, 2007

They Call Me ... MISTER Dick

The Washington Post has tawdry tales of Dickie Mellon Scaife, the hourly patron saint of the American Spectator:

In December of that year [2005], Scannell followed Richard Scaife to nearby North Huntingdon, home of Doug's Motel, a place where the TVs are bolted to the furniture and rooms can be rented in three-hour increments, for $28. (It's now under new management and renamed the Huntingdon Inn. Head east on Route 8, then east on Route 30.) There, according to Scannell, Scaife spent a few hours with Tammy Sue Vasco.

Why a billionaire would shack up at Doug's Motel, of all places, is a mystery. Ditto his choice of companions. Vasco is a tall, blond 43-year-old mother who in 1993 was busted in a sting operation after showing up at a Sheraton hotel and offering to have sex with an undercover cop for $225, the Post-Gazette reported.

Social Register material she is not, but Vasco and Scaife seemed to have a relationship that went beyond the purely professional. The two usually met each other twice a week, for months, at the motel, says an employee of the motel. Scaife would show up in a chauffeured car, dressed in a suit, wearing cuff links, always bearing flowers. Vasco would be waiting in same room every time, Room 5 on the ground floor, facing the parking lot, said the employee. Mr. Dick, as he was known at the motel, would stay for two hours or so, then get back in the car, which had been waiting, and leave.

Will the wingnut welfare queens abandon Mister Dick in his hour of need (a pricy divorce), or will they follow in the (presumably metaphorical) kneepads of R. Emmett Tyrell and start renting Room 5 by the hour?

Update: Timmy -- not Tammy -- Graham of the MRC is already kneeling. He only wishes Dickie paid him $28 for three hours.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Shorter Meet the Press

Transcript for October 21, 2007:

MR. TIM RUSSERT: Our issues this Sunday: Barack Obama challenges Hillary Clinton on the Iraq war.

MR. RUSSERT: .... But first, the race for the White House heating up; the primaries and caucuses just 10 weeks away. Here to put it all in perspective, an extraordinary group of ladies.

Welcome, all.


MS. KATE O'BEIRNE: Thank you.



MS. SMITH: Well.

MS. WOODRUFF: (Unintelligible)

MS. SMITH: (Unintelligible).

MS. O’BEIRNE: (Unintelligible)

MS. WOODRUFF: But we’re not normal.

The thing speaks for itself.

In Days Of Old

The New York Times takes aim at an easy but deserving target, the medieval-themed restaurant:

Things were different then, said Rich Brostowski, 37, the bar manager at Lyndhurst, whose shoulder-length hair and eagerness to demonstrate fighting techniques suggest that he has not completely forgotten his 13-year tenure as a knight. Many of the knights in those early days, he said, read fantasy novels, studied period movies and joined role-playing groups like the Society for Creative Anachronism.

"To me a knight is here," Mr. Brostowski said, pointing to his head. "This place was never just a job for me. I am a knight. That's who I am."

Over the next 10 years the Lyndhurst castle came to have some of the longest-serving knights in the Medieval Times empire. "It was a tight-knit group," said Stephanie Keil, 23, who has been a serving wench for five years. "They were revered and respected and feared." (Later, revealing that she is engaged to Mr. Brostowski, Ms. Keil added with a smile: "I'm a lucky wench.")

Just wait 'til you find out the drawbridge is always down, Steph.

Around 2000, in a phase that a Lyndhurst manager referred to as "corporatization," the company, which is privately held, began tightly standardizing the fight choreography, so one knight could smoothly substitute for one another. (Injuries are not rare.) Personal battle flourishes were curtailed and, under the training of the new corporate head knight, all combat, Tino-style and otherwise, achieved conformity. The knights of Lyndhurst adapted. But eventually discontent arose among the ranks. Two of the castle’s most senior knights, like the disaffected barons of 13th-century England, drew up a list of grievances and began persuading the squires and the other knights to take on the actors' and stagehands' unions as their bargaining representatives.

But 'twas the advent of warblogging that took the hardest toll on the industry.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Achtung, Tikkun

TBogg has more on the latest attempts to rework Jonah Goldberg's fan fic tome, I Married A National Socialist, into acceptable form. The newest title of the book is "Liberal Fascism: The Secret History of the American Left, From Mussolini to the Politics of Meaning."

As one of TBogg's commenters notes, the new title suggests Jonah's decades of research uncovered the fact that Il Duce spent a number of years as a Peace Studies Professor in Madison, Wisconsin.

I suspect the next thing to be replaced is the cover. Expect an illustration of that infamous fascist, Michael Lerner, swinging from a meat hook by his heels.

Creep With A Video Camera

Steve M. at No More Mister Nice Blog notes that D.C. Lobbyist Rick Santorum is again exploiting his daughter for political purposes.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Thank God We Live In A Meritocracy

Commentary magazine has named its first female editor in its six decade history. (Not right away, mind you.) Congratulations, Tiffany!

We are delighted to announce that John Podhoretz has been named to succeed Neal Kozodoy in the position of COMMENTARY's Editor as of January 1, 2009.

Mr. Podhoretz will join the COMMENTARY staff this November. In the interim role of Editorial Director, he will assume particular responsibility for the development and expansion of our online editorial activities. Our blog, inaugurated less than a year ago, has become an important daily source of thought and opinion for readers around the world, and online operations will play an increasingly significant role in COMMENTARY's growth.

Mr. Podhoretz, who upon his accession in January 2009 will become the fourth Editor in COMMENTARY's six-decade history, brings long and varied experience as an editor, columnist, writer, and blogger. He has held executive positions at several publications, including the Weekly Standard, which he co-founded, Insight, and the New York Post. The author of three books about presidential politics, he is the lead political columnist of the New York Post, has served as the regular film critic of the Weekly Standard since its inception, and is a daily contributor to "The Corner," National Review’s group blog. He was a regular on CNN's "Reliable Sources" and is now a frequent on-screen contributor to the Fox News Channel. In government, he was a speechwriter to Ronald Reagan in 1988.

Mr. Podhoretz, forty-six, lives in New York with his wife and two daughters. He is the son of Norman and Midge Podhoretz.

Yes, Commentary's blog is quite impressive. So impressive that the magazine has forgotten it actually has three blogs.

But I digress. After years of being propped up by family friends Sun Myung Moon and Rupert Murdoch, our Tiff has finally struck out on her own. Leaving the nest at 46 is always big step, but we wish you only the best.

One piece of friendly advice: When you practice your formidable editing skills on such articles as "The Case For Bombing Iran," remember that a light touch works best. You're not a trained psychiatrist, and it's never too late to change the will.

Monday, October 15, 2007

The Enemy of His Enemy

I stand second to no man -- except Himmler, of course -- in my opposition to cruelty toward animals. That said, the question of whether or not Mickey Kaus blows goats is one best left to state regulators, the U.S.D.A. and the investigative unit of Cattle Fancy magazine.

I'm more disturbed -- but not surprised -- by Kaus's blowing of the white racist website, with which the hairless hack has found common ground in the loathing of immigrants. (Scroll down to October 13, 6:04 p.m.) That's not a one-off link, either. And Kaus recently shared the stage at the Hudson Institute with VD's intellectual midgets and fellow immigrant-haters.

Just remember, Mickey -- when push comes to shove, the VDARE folks aren't all that fond of your pale ass, either.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Who are the Values Voters?

In addition to some of the G.O.P. Presidential Candidates (but not Alan Keyes), guests scheduled to speak at the 2007 Value Voters Summit later this week include:

Roger Hedgecock:

In 1985 he was forced from office after being convicted on one count of conspiracy and 12 counts of perjury involving improper campaign contributions. Hedgecock failed to report over $350,000 in illegal contributions from Nancy Hoover, David Dominelli, and the J. David Company. The perjury charges were later overturned due to an erroneous jury instruction taking the issue of materiality, an element in every perjury charge, from the jury's domain as well as jury misconduct. Later, in a deal with prosecutors, Hedgecock pleaded guilty to misdemeanor money-laundering. After a year on probation, the charges were dismissed (the norm in California for first time misdemeanants).

Rabbi Daniel Lapin:

The Washington Post reported on October 16, 2005, that Toward Tradition received a $25,000 donation in 2000 from online gambling company eLottery, a lobbying client of Jack Abramoff and his employer, Preston Gates Ellis, despite Lapin's professed opposition to gambling. Some or all of the money received by Lapin was then transferred to a company run by the wife of Tony Rudy, an aide to Tom DeLay who was instrumental in killing an antigambling bill that eLottery and Abramoff were lobbying against. In a follow-up article published by the Washington Post on January 9, 2006, it was alleged that Toward Tradition was the "non-profit entity" referred to in Abramoff's plea agreement in relation to a $25,000 contribution made by Magazine Publishers of America which had hired Abramoff for a campaign against the postal rate increase. In March 2006, Tony Rudy pleaded guilty to one charge of conspiracy relating to the money his wife had received via Lapin.

And Tony Perkins:

Four years ago, Perkins addressed the Louisiana chapter of the Council of Conservative Citizens (CCC), America's premier white supremacist organization, the successor to the White Citizens Councils, which battled integration in the South. In 1996 Perkins paid former Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard David Duke $82,500 for his mailing list. At the time, Perkins was the campaign manager for a right-wing Republican candidate for the US Senate in Louisiana. The Federal Election Commission fined the campaign Perkins ran $3,000 for attempting to hide the money paid to Duke.

Also slated to appear are convicted Watergate conspirator Chuck Colson, family man Newt Gingrich. thumb-headed playboy John Fund and anti-Semitism apologist Ben Stein.

Attendees would be well advised to leave their wallets in their hotel rooms and their children in another state.

Insert Something About A Blogger Ethics Panel Here

Howie "the Putz" Kurtz spent the first segment of his CNN program this morning plugging his book, Canker Sores. To return the favor, Kurtz then ran a commercial for Time magazine in the guise of an interview:

KURTZ: Even on TV there was a lot of pundits talking about whether Giuliani or Romney had won that exchange, but again, not much on who was actually right or wrong. Mark Halperin, you mentioned the role of the new media. When you were at ABC News, you wrote something called "The Note," which was sort of an insider's guide to politics. Tomorrow you are going to debut a new Web page called "The Page" at

Tell us a little bit about that.

HALPERIN: Well, "The Page" is for people who want to know what's going on in the presidential race all the time, 24/7. We are updating it all the time. Time colleagues overseas as well. So while we sleep here on the East Coast, the site is being updated. The Web page is It has got everything, the best reporting from Time magazine but reporting from around the whole country, local papers, local television, national television, cable, all consolidated on one page.

So if you're interested any time in knowing what's going on in this race, "The Page" is where people are going to look, I think and I hope.

KURTZ: Just briefly, do you think we're drowning in information on the Internet? And are you trying to sort of organize it?

HALPERIN: Even my colleagues -- our colleagues who cover this day to day, even the campaigns, there is so much to read, there is so much good journalism being done, watching on television, listening on the radio. Our idea is to consolidate that, to aggregate it all in one place. So if you are busy and you can't read every paper or watch every TV show, "The Page" is the one place where it is all going to live all the time on one page.

Jaysus. The product placement is more subtle in a Rob Schneider movie.

Howie then went back to plugging his book.

Halperin, of course, is the former ABC News political director who proudly takes his marching orders from internet slander merchant Matt Drudge. (And yet he claimed today that he was interested in honesty. Imagine that.) Fortunately, Time doesn't have a reputation which can be tarnished.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Has There Ever Been A Bigger Group of Shits Than The '80s/Early '90s New Republic Crew?

Ezra Klein reminds us that before hairless hack Mickey Kaus started his blog, Letters to Human Events Forum, Kaus either had some integrity or, more likely, a justifiable loathing of Andy Sullivan.

Of course, Kaus tossed off his integrity a long time ago. Now, he's pretending to find a significant difference between "false," "untrue" and "made up." While covered in Vaseline.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Coarsening The Discourse Since 2002

Sometime this month, Roger Ailes the blog will celebrate the fifth anniversary of its very first post. Thanks to Blogger's latest "upgrade," which screwed up the archives, I'm not certain of the exact date. But it doesn't really matter. Who needs an excuse to drink reflect on this amazing milestone?

And to those who say this humble blog has had no impact on the vital issues of the day, I respond, "read 'em and weep":

COLBERT: Why are you making me think, Larry?

The book is -- the book is like the show. It's -- the show is an extension and an amplification of pundit shows.

KING: All pundit shows?

COLBERT: All pundit shows.

KING: So when they say you're just doing O'Reilly, that's wrong?

COLBERT: No, no, no, no.

KING: You do all pundits.

COLBERT: I'm also Hannity.

KING: Russert?

COLBERT: Well, Russert is less of a pundit and more of a pumpkin.


But Hitler Started It!

You've probably seen that the Doughy Pantload's publisher has pushed back the release date of the 'Load's masterpiece, Dearest Adolf: A Love Story. It now comes out on Elvis Presley's birthdate, (and will probably die on the toilet much soon than did the King).

Of more interest is the new publisher's description of the Pantload's tome:

Contrary to what most people think, the Nazis were ardent socialists (hence the term "National socialism"). They believed in free health care and guaranteed jobs. They confiscated inherited wealth and spent vast sums on public education. They purged the church from public policy, promoted a new form of pagan spirituality, and inserted the authority of the state into every nook and cranny of daily life. The Nazis declared war on smoking, supported abortion, euthanasia, and gun control. They loathed the free market, provided generous pensions for the elderly, and maintained a strict racial quota system in their universities [How Nazi is that!?! -- R.A.] — where campus speech codes were all the rage. The Nazis led the world in organic farming and alternative medicine. Hitler was a strict vegetarian, and Himmler was an animal rights activist.

The Nazis also hated homosexuals, atheists, women's equality, the right to privacy, contraception, diplomacy, immigrants, communism and the Soviet Union, and loved the military, nationalism, enhanced interrogation techniques, invading other countries and long walks on the beach. The Nazis conducted research into the causes of cancer, too. The party was controlled by of a bunch of white, Christian, heterosexual men. The party's American supporters hated Roosevelt, the New Deal and immigrants. And Hitler owned a dog and bored people senseless talking about it.

Wait, what were we talking about again?

We often forget, for example, that Mussolini and Hitler had many admirers in the United States.

Oh, no. I never forget a Bush.

Fascism was an international movement that appeared in different forms in different countries, depending on the vagaries of national culture and temperament. In Germany, fascism appeared as genocidal racist nationalism. In America, it took a "friendlier," more liberal form. The modern heirs of this "friendly fascist" tradition include the New York Times, the Democratic Party, the Ivy League professoriate, and the liberals of Hollywood. The quintessential Liberal Fascist isn't an SS storm trooper; it is a female grade school teacher with an education degree from Brown or Swarthmore.

Now it becomes clear. The 'Load is still licking his wounds from all the times he was shot down in his community college days, but he'll show those stuck-up bitches.

Apart from the blatant faslehoods in the publisher's synposis (undoubtedly derived from the 'Load's book), it seems the Pantload's argument boils down to "anything I don't like is fascism, and here's a reference to Hitler I found on the 'net which proves it." I'm sure the 'Load would claim his analysis is more nuanced, but his own publisher doesn't seem to agree.

Goldberg hasn't forgotten what fascism is; he never knew.

Update (10/13): As commenters have reminded me, I failed to include the abolition of labor unions, domestic spying, patriarchy and the nuclear family as Nazi "turn-ons." Thanks also to Alex of Martini Revolution, filling in at Crooks and Liars, for the link.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Segregation Now, Segregation Forever

I'm surprised that more hasn't been said about the GOP's Whites Only debate policy.

I hope Ambassador Keyes will abandon the party of segregation and join the Dobson Party.

Mickey Bates Is Back Again

Some say Mickey Kaus hasn't been able to achieve sexual fulfillment since he left his parents' home forty years ago, even though the Mainstream Media assiduously refuses to confirm those rumors. The hairless hack tried some thigh rubbing back in 2004, when his fellow deviant, Drudge, phoned him with a dirty story involving John Kerry. Impotence -- and the truth -- got the upper hand, however.

Undaunted, Kaus has pulled the wetsuits, nylon rope and Ann Coulter doll (as he calls it) out of the closet and is trying again, just three years later:

"The National Enquirer claims to have enough of the Edwards cheating-on-cancer-stricken-wife story, including 'bombshell' e-mails, to run with. ... P.S.: They 'met in a bar.' Sounds familiar! ... You read it here first. ... OK, you read it on HuffPo first. ... HuffPo 's Sam Stein now has lots of background material. ... P.P.S.: When I ask friends they split roughly 50/50 on whether, if true, this is a legitimate story. The MSM seems to be strenuously trying to not report it. Given how Edwards' campaign has tacitly and effectively used Elizabeth and her struggle, etc., I think if true it's scummy behavior on his part that Democratic primary voters should know about. His campaign is denying it. ..." (Emphasis in original.)

The idea of a man with hair and a loving marriage is eating Kaus alive. I'd suspect Kaus's smear was coordinated by his replacement mother figure, Ann Coulter, but the hairless hack is slimy enough to post it without explicit marching orders.

Update: p.s. to the hack: Big changes are expected of you. Better start preparing.

He Just Wants to Hear Some Rhythm

Why I love Eric Alterman:

"I know the statement is unsupportable by anyone, but in my own experience, not only is Springsteen the greatest performer in the history of rock 'n' roll, he's a better rock 'n' roll performer than anybody has ever been at anything."

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Search Engines for Dummies

Howard Kurtz actually wrote this shit:

That's right, what if people are actually gorging on the silly and salacious stuff that they tell pollsters they don't want in their media diet?

But how could we know if that was the case? Hmmm. Let me think!

Aha! How about their online searches? The purest expression of their inner id, their secret curiosity, their lust for certain knowledge?
I didn't come up with this idea but was struck by what Slate dug up in examining the online behavior of the masses. And let me just say, they're not looking for details on eligibility for S-CHIP:

" Wives matter: People want to get to know Elizabeth Kucinich. When you type 'dennis kucinich' into Google Suggest, you learn that more people are searching for 'dennis kucinich wife' than 'dennis kucinich for president.' What do they want to know about her? According to the suggestion results for her name, people are looking for 'pictures,' 'photos,' 'age,' 'hot,' and 'tongue.' (It's pierced.) The Republican field has a woman of choice, too: Three of the top 10 search queries after 'fred thompson' are wife-related. The query 'joe biden wife,' however, doesn't appear until the candidate's 10th result. Ouch.["]

This argument is patently dishonest.

If you go to Google Suggest and type in "dennis kucinic," you see that there are 1.98 million results for "Dennis Kucinich," 1.67 million for "Dennis Kucinich for President," 1.53 million for "Dennis Kucinich 2008" and .486 million for "Dennis Kucinich wife."

You also learn that Google Suggest doesn't tell you how many people are searching for any of those phrases.

If you then pull your head out of your ass, and go to Google Trends, you find that a considerably larger number of searches are performed for "Dennis Kucinich" than for "Dennis Kucinich wife." And, of course, you realize that most intelligent people searching for information on Kucinich's presidential run will simply type in Kucinich's name, rationally assuming that Dennis Kuchinch for President website will be the first hit.

This is what you get if you compare "Dennis Kucinch for President" to "Dennis Kucinich wife."

Yes, there are plenty of people who enjoy trivia, and would do so even if hacks like Howie didn't wallow in it for fun and profit. But there's no need to resort to dishonest search engine games to make the point.

Coming Next: Ass Shots On The Internet Again

Remember the days of Charles Murray and Camilia Paglia and Betsy McCaughey and Stephen Glass? It's no longer the 90s, but Andy Sullivan still hasn't given up his Clenis hatred, or his inability to distinguish fact from fiction:

But to argue that the Clintons were innocents - or didn't give their enemies enormous and needless ammunition - is far from the truth. Read Bernstein's book. Or "Primary Colors" again.

If you want the truth, read a novel written by a man who lied about writing that novel to protect his job.

(For more, read here.)

Tuesday, October 09, 2007


The story of Richard Roberts' chit-chat with the Almighty just got even better. Last night, CNN showed Roberts' speech/sermon in which he claimed that God assured him that the lawsuit against Oral Roberts University was a frivolous one. Roberts read God's pronouncement off a small sheet of paper, and pronounced litigious as LIT-A-GUS. It appeared for all the world that Roberts had never heard the word, even though God had spoken it to him.

Apparently omnipotence doesn't extend to either grammar or pronunciation.

Monday, October 08, 2007

Remainder of The Day

Amazingly, some people are easily amazed. Take Rachel Sklar:

There's been barely a whisper leading up to Howard Kurtz's new book, released tomorrow — it's been embargoed, hushed, and kept under wraps for months, it's title and cover even kept off Amazon. The book is called Reality Show: Inside The Last Great Television News War, and it chronicles the saga of the latest — and possibly last — generation of Big Three Anchors: Brian Williams, Charlie Gibson, and Katie Couric. Amazingly, Kurtz and his publishers were able to keep the details of the 480-page book from leaking — impressive considering the number of people he obviously spoke with across all three networks — and today is the first day that details from the book have been made available.

Perhaps that lack of excitement has something to do with the supremely uninteresting subject of the book: the Network Anchor Wars. Network nightly news is only of interest to the NewsBusters crowd, which monitors the shows to see if Charlie or Brian is slipping some Socialism into Granny's glass of warm milk. It's a fair guess that Kurtz makes the topic even more boring by reprinting the long and tedious gossip of middle-aged teevee executives and talent who are even more irrelevant than How himself.

And, frankly, who wants to read about dullards who think (or write) like this: "For Williams, it all went back to Sept. 11, 2001. As a citizen, he thought on that fateful day, thank God that Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld and Colin Powell were on the team." We already know that Brian's a talking wigstand. Do we need to know the styrofoam's infested with silverfish, too?

The good news is that Kurtz has a blog to promote his book, since How apparently doesn't rate the full plug-and-play treatment his employer lavishes on Boob Woodward. Stop by and welcome Howie to the neighborhood, if you're so inclined.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

A Critical Lens On The Putz

Here's a bit about the woman Howie Kurtz believes is an expert on media standards and ethics:

If her name seems familiar, however, it is not likely to do with any piece of commentary she may have written. In 1996, while attending Simon Fraser University near Vancouver, [Rachel] Marsden alleged the school's swim coach had raped her. In 1997, following an internal SFU inquiry, the coach, Liam Donnelly, was fired.

He was soon reinstated, however, after putting forward evidence that cast doubt upon Marsden's credibility. Marsden admitted to having frequently sent Donnelly gifts and sexually explicit e-mails. She claimed they were intended to draw him into a discussion of his alleged sexual harassment. According to Donnelly, Marsden had been stalking him for months.

It was a dark episode in SFU's history. The school's president resigned over it, citing depression.


About her work, then: Biographical information posted on various Web sites notes her "writing has appeared in Macleans magazine and the National Post.

That's a stretch. Marsden once had a letter to the editor published in the National Post. She once had a letter to the editor published in Macleans. And that's it.

Marsden's various biographies note she "has worked at BCTV News (Global TV’s national flagship station) in Vancouver." Technically, yes. Years ago, while pursuing a college degree in broadcast journalism, Marsden spent a month at BCTV as a volunteer student researcher.

Then there is the widely distributed claim that Marsden once worked with ABC Television News in New York City as an assistant to former anchor Connie Chung.

"Nobody by the name Rachel Marsden has ever been employed here," says an ABC News spokeswoman. "She might have been an intern, but she was not on our payroll. She is not in our data base."

Marsden ignored queries about her contributions to Macleans and the National Post. Regarding ABC News, Marsden wrote that her "official title was 'Production Assistant,' which included assisting then-anchor Connie Chung at one time."
Or, as the Putz described her on today's Reliable Sources program, "Rachel Marsden, columnist for The Toronto Sun."

The Putz also left out this tidbit from 2004 (via Wikipedia):

Ms. Marsden harassed the victim mainly by repeated telephone calls and e-mail messages. There are aggravating circumstances. By a trick, Ms. Marsden obtained copies of e-mails that the complainant was sending to other people and therefore had knowledge of how he was responding to her harassment. She used this information to involve some of these other people. She continued with her harassment even after she was aware that police were involved.


The consequences to Ms. Marsden for committing this offence have been significant. She was arrested and held in jail for over 24 hours before being released on strict conditions of bail. The police issued a press release concerning the charge and as a result Ms. Marsden received very considerable adverse publicity. It may be argued that Ms. Marsden seeks such attention but there is no question that it has come at a high cost. When her employer in Washington, D.C., learned of the charge, she lost her employment. In the future, prospective employers will likely be concerned about her lack of judgment and her irrational response in this matter.

Marsden was 27 when this went down, according to Judge Kitchen. Perhaps Howie's listeners might have found this information of some value when assessing Marsden's opinions on the instability of Britney Spears.

I'm only surprised Howie didn't give her a slot on the Clarence Thomas segment. Mike Medved seemed to lack experience on the topic.

The Thief of Bad Gags

The New York Times, which didn't want people reading Nick Kristof and David Brooks for free, is now running a blog stealing quoting verbatim previously televised gags from the employees of Jay Leno, Conan O'Brien, etc.

If the Writers Guild of America goes on strike, the paper will be reduced to quoting Maureen Dowd and Tom Friedman.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Things In Vanity Fair Even Better Than James Wolcott's Column

I'm thinking something like this for my Hallowe'en costume this year.

The Oral Tradition

The Lord thy God is a living God. Here, God speaks through the prophet Dick, son of Oral:

Richard Roberts is accused of illegal involvement in a local political campaign and lavish spending at donors' expense, including numerous home remodeling projects, use of the university jet for his daughter's senior trip to the Bahamas, and a red Mercedes convertible and a Lexus SUV for his wife, Lindsay.

She is accused of dropping tens of thousands of dollars on clothes, awarding nonacademic scholarships to friends of her children and sending scores of text messages on university-issued cell phones to people described in the lawsuit as "underage males."

At a chapel service this week on the 5,300-student campus known for its 60-foot-tall bronze sculpture of praying hands, Roberts said God told him: "We live in a litigious society. Anyone can get mad and file a lawsuit against another person whether they have a legitimate case or not. This lawsuit ... is about intimidation, blackmail and extortion."

God isn't a stickler for pronoun-antecedent agreement, it seems. And He's working for the U.S. Chamber of Commerce.

If that is You speaking, God, could You kindly drop the holy hammer on Bob Bork?

If you're wondering about the political party of the candidate Dick is charged with illegally assisting, you should read this blog more often.

Common Sense Is Missing

This seems a little bit tacky, particularly in a prepared statement:

RICHMOND, Va. (AP) -- U.S. Rep. Jo Ann Davis, a Republican who represented southeastern Virginia for seven years, died Saturday morning after a two-year battle with breast cancer, her office said.

Davis, 57, died at her home in Gloucester.

Davis was found to have breast cancer in 2005 and had a recurrence this year. Her health took a turn for the worse during the past week, her office said.

She became Virginia's first Republican woman elected to Congress in 2000, and she was a member of the House Armed Services Committee and the Foreign Affairs Committee.

"Her determination to fight the disease is an inspiration to all of us," President Bush said in a statement.

"She was a fine example of a public servant who worked hard to cut government waste to ensure the people's money was used wisely," Bush said. "Her common-sense values will be missed on Capitol Hill."

Condolences to Representative Davis's family.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007


Writing of Clarence Thomas, pretend seaman Special Ed complains that "the media has never gotten a grasp of the man under the robes."

Special Ed more than makes up for that failure this week, grasping the dull-witted pr0n enthusiast for all he is worth before rubbing out the following conclusion: "That the media and a good part of the nation could have missed this amazing and impressive man should anger and sadden the American populace. I will not ever forget the dichotomy between the public image of Clarence Thomas and the real human being I met tonight."

The rest of Special Ed's blog post is devoted to an explanation about how Thomas is charming in a roomful of sycophants, rather than the blubbering baby who cowers in the fetal position when confronted with the truth.

Meanwhile, Professor Anita Hill once again demonstrates that Thomas is a lying sack of shit:

In 1981, when Mr. Thomas approached me about working for him, I was an associate in good standing at a Washington law firm. In 1991, the partner in charge of associate development informed Mr. Thomas's mentor, Senator John Danforth of Missouri, that any assertions to the contrary were untrue. Yet, Mr. Thomas insists that I was "asked to leave" the firm.

It's worth noting, too, that Mr. Thomas hired me not once, but twice while he was in the Reagan administration — first at the Department of Education and then at the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. After two years of working directly for him, I left Washington and returned home to Oklahoma to begin my teaching career.

Special Ed is, of course, a chuzzlewit who believes what he's told whenever it fits his worldview. Especially when he's given table scraps from the grownups' table and the autograph of a sticky-handed sociopath.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Dickie Mellon-Scaife outs disgraced Senator Rick with this headline:


And that bud is ... Mitt Romney.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Newt Runs Away Again

I think we're all disappointed that Newt Gingrich has realized his highest and best purpose in life is to star on a VH1 dating show called Hee-Haw Honeys of Love run a bullshit think tank, and not to run for President.

Earlier today, the melon-headed cracker was quoted as saying:

"To give up and kill an organization we spent a year on and that had 2,000 sites around the country where people had now invested their time and effort just to look at whether or not you could run, I thought would be irresponsible."

Of course, it would have been just as irresponsible last week, when Newt was soliciting pledges of 30 million dollars for a possible Presidential bid. Just slipped his mind.

Now we're left with Huckleberry Fred and Alan Keyes as the comedic relief for the G.O.P. And Duncan Hunter and Ron Paul. And Mitt Romney and that 9/11 guy. And if we're really lucky, a third party run by James Dobson.

Kicking Tom Friedman In The Nuts In A Roomful of Nitrous Oxide = Good Satire

In Friedman World, the sole criteria of something's worth is how it affects Tom Friedman.

"Like all good satire, the story made me both laugh and cry..."
Or, as Tommy would paraphrase Mel Brooks, "Tragedy is when I get a gravy stain on my turtleneck. Comedy is when thousands of Iraqis have bombs dropped on them and die."

Tommy Boy doesn't both to explain why an Onion article mocking Rudy Guiliani's 9/11 self-promotion made him weep, but we may safely assume it wasn't due to any self-examination of Tommy's own role in whipping up support for a post-9/11 world police state.

I wonder what emotions Tommy displays when reading about the latest Friedman Unit.

Saturday, September 29, 2007

More About Matthew Shepard

Julia of Sisyphus Shrugged, David Neiwert and Scott Lemieux all have more on the ongoing Matthew Shepard bashing campaign by Andrews Breitbart and Sullivan.

A Challenge

I challenge former Vice President Al Gore to debate me on the topic: "Resolved: Bonner Cohen Is A Corporate Whore." If the Vice President refuses this challenge, the proposition must be resolved in the affirmative.

I also challenge the Vice President to pick up my laundry, drive me to the airport, and give me a no-interest loan so I can buy a Prius.

By the way, when Cohen writes for Schmuck Central Station, does that create a conflict of astroturf? Or at least an astroturf war? Who is Cohen's real master? For accounting purposes, does ExxonMobil make out the check to TCS, or directly to Cohen?

Friday, September 28, 2007

Nice Work

In the middle of National Review Online's Star Trek fanboy wankfest, wingnut welfare queen Mark Krikorian demonstrates the Christian compassion and respect for women that the right is famous for:

The late Gene Roddenberry's second wife, Majel Barrett (who played Nurse Chapel and Troi's mother and the voice of the ship's computer) stuck me as a professional widow, a la Coretta Scott King. And even then, more than 10 years ago, it was clear to me that George Takei (Sulu) was not the marrying kind.

Needless to say, Mrs. King's accomplishments far exceed those of Krikorian's career of racist teat-sucking. But to suggest that Mrs. King benefited from the assassination of her husband is beyond the pale even for such as pale hater as Krikorian.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Shepard Ain't Shit

Over at the Los Angeles Times, Drudge flunky Andrew Dimbart takes another belated whack at the Gay Right's favorite whipping boy, Matthew Shepard. Says Andy, "A street in West Hollywood still stands in [Shepard's] name despite ABC News reporting the story false: He was killed by crazed meth addicts for drugs and money -- not because he was gay."

This proclamation is Sully Joe's cue to chime in. Dimbart's "right," says Sully, though he later qualifies that claim by sniffing a whiff of "homophobia" in the killing, "even if it was grotesquely distorted as a pure hate crime by the usual suspects."

Let's see what ABC News actually reported: After the killing, Aaron McKinney's girlfriend claimed that McKinney beat Matthew Shepard to death when he became enraged after Shepard made a sexual advance. At trial, McKinney's defense attorneys sought to introduce evidence (assuredly with McKinney's cooperation and consent) that McKinney killed Shepard after a pass because McKinney had been sexually assaulted as a child. (And ABC omitted mention of a great deal of additional evidence and testimony that both killers targeted Shepard because he was a gay man.) McKinney's defense failed spectacularly. Six years after the assault, while rotting in prison, McKinney swore that all he wanted to do was beat up and rob Shepard, not commit a "hate crime." McKinney's girlfriend also changed her story, and a bunch of people claimed or speculated that McKinney was doing meth the week of the crime.

The usual suspects indeed. If a cold-blooded killer, his girlfriend and his appointed defense attorneys aren't the patresfamilias of the P.C. Gay Mafia, I don't know who is.

All ABC reported was that McKinney claimed he killed Matthew Shepard because Shepard was a predatory homosexual and, some four or five years after that story failed to earn him a sympathy verdict, started pedalling another sob story titled "The Crank Made Me Do It." Of course, Dimbart and Sullivan adopt McKinney's self-serving revisionist history because it fits their liberal-gays-want-special-rights fantasy, and not because version 2.0 is more credible than McKinney's original admission against interest.

The only grotesque distortion here is Sullivan's continuing attempt to smear political opponents based on a convienent recantation made long after the crime was committed. Were those who called attention to a hate crime in 1998 supposed to anticipate a lie told six years later? Meanwhile, Dimbart, who hasn't been beaten to a bloody pulp and left for dead, must continue to suffer the daily indignity of knowing that a street in his beloved town bears the name of a man who wasn't even man enough to fend off two armed attackers.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Another Fucking Nut Who Is Taken Seriously

Casting his lot with the Doughy Pantload and Marty Peretz (see post below), Ben Stein invokes fascism to prove he is a fucking moron:

[Stein] said he also believed the theory of evolution leads to racism and ultimately genocide, an idea common among creationist thinkers. If it were up to him, he said, the film would be called "From Darwin to Hitler."

And yet evolution is the only explanation for Stein's pathetic kissing of Richard Nixon's ass.

Stein's pattern of working for lying sacks continues with his present employer, Walt Ruloff:

Mr. Ruloff also cited Dr. Francis S. Collins, a geneticist who directs the National Human Genome Research Institute and whose book, "The Language of God: A Scientist Presents Evidence for Belief" (Simon & Schuster, 2006), explains how he came to embrace his Christian faith. Dr. Collins separates his religious beliefs from his scientific work only because "he is toeing the party line," Mr. Ruloff said.

That’s "just ludicrous," Dr. Collins said in a telephone interview. While many of his scientific colleagues are not religious and some are "a bit puzzled" by his faith, he said, "they are generally very respectful." He said that if the problem Mr. Ruloff describes existed, he is certain he would know about it.

Everybody Loves Fascism

Henceforth, fascism is whatever Marty "The Wedding Singer" Peretz says it is:

As everybody knows Columbia University hosted Mahmoud Ahmadinejad on campus Monday.

Now, the Hoover Institution, a historically conservative center at Stanford University where several Mensheviks lived out their lives, wants to appoint Donald Rumsfeld as a senior fellow. The first item I saw about this was on the editorial page of the WSJ. The editorial was called "Demon Rummy."

Of course, there is a petition going around demanding that he not be appointed because Rumsfeld is "fundamentally incompatible with the ethical values of truthfulness, tolerance, disinterested enquiry." Already 3,000 professors, students, and alumni have signed it.

So it's Ahmadinejad, yes; Rumsfeld, no. Both are actually instances of left-wing fascism.

Just try to find a logically consistent principle in that post.

Better yet, don't waste your time.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Run, Newt, Run

Crap author, deadbeat dad, friend of pro-Nazi historians and family man Newton Leroy "Newt" Gingrich is dipping a tubby toe into Presidential waters:

WALLACE: You've been flirting with the idea of running for president for months. And this week you said you want to see if you can get pledges of $30 million before deciding. How is that going to work?

GINGRICH: Well, I've said all along for the last year, I'm going to focus — I personally am focusing totally on doing American Solutions, having the workshops on Thursday and Saturday, reaching out across the whole country on a totally bipartisan basis.

Next Monday, Randy Evans, who's been my friend and adviser for many, many years, will hold a press briefing. Randy will spend the next three weeks checking with people around the country.

If he reports back that, in fact, we think the resources are there for a real race — remember, Governor Romney has been very successful legitimately as a businessman. He can write a $100 million check.

I mean, there's no point in getting into a fight with a guy who can drown you unless you at least have enough resources for a vote.

And so if we have enough resources, then close to that we'll face a very big decision in late October. If there aren't enough resources, I'm not for doing unrealistic things.

If you check in with me, Randy, I'm all for a Newt candidacy. There's plenty of room in the G.O.P. field for the white Alan Keyes. In fact, I'll pledge a considerable amount to a Gingrich candidacy. In a Newt's wedding vows sort of way, to be sure, but a pledge is a pledge.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

A Quarter For The First Five Minutes

If you couldn't find a parking space in the City last Friday, it was all Tom Hilton's fault.