Monday, June 26, 2006

Rush Limpdick

"Three parts Pfizer to one part 'Billysmack and I don't need God's talent"

Rusty "Big Pharma" Limbaugh, the masculine ideal of the rightwing blogosphere, was found smuggling a different brand of Blue Babies into the country in his private plane. Limpdick's attorney, Roy Black, admitted his criminal client didn't have a legal prescription for the contraband.

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. -- Rush Limbaugh was detained for more than three hours Monday at Palm Beach International Airport after authorities said they found a bottle of Viagra in his possession without a prescription.

U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement examined the 55-year-old radio commentator's luggage after his private plane landed at the airport around 2 p.m. from the Dominican Republic, said Paul Miller, spokesman for the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office.

ICE officials found a prescription bottle labeled as Viagra, a drug that treats erectile dysfunction, in his luggage, Miller said.

"The problem was that on the bottle itself was not his name, but the name of two Florida doctors," Miller said.

Limbaugh reached a deal last month with prosecutors who had accused the conservative talk-show host of illegally deceiving multiple doctors to receive overlapping painkiller prescriptions.

The matter Monday was referred to the sheriff's office, whose investigators interviewed Limbaugh.

"He said he had the Viagra in his possession for his use and that he did obtain it from his doctors," Miller said.

Investigators confiscated the drugs, and Limbaugh was released around 5:30 p.m. without being charged.

The sheriff's office plans to file a report with the state attorney's office.

"We believe there may be a second-degree misdemeanor violation, which is possession of certain drugs without a prescription, because the bottle does not have his name on it," Miller said.

As Atrios asks, why do you need Viagra for a trip to the Dominican Republic? It would be irresponsible not to speculate, as Peggy Noonan once said. But Limpdick has more attorneys than I do, so I won't even do that joke.

Congratulations to the fine men and women of the United States Immigration and Customs Service for exposing a drug criminal and securing our borders from a true threat to law-abiding Americans.

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