Monday, August 16, 2004


The G.O.P. has just announced its third set of convention speakers.

Let's just say the bench is not very deep:

Governor Mitt Romney: Utah carpetbagger and tax avoider.

Lt. Gov. Kerry Healey: Who? Who cares.

Brian Sandoval: Opponent of Bush's Yucca Mountain nuclear waste dumping plan. Has Bush thrown Bri a bone to ensure his silence?

Bernie "Cut and Run" Kerik: Spent a couple of months in Iraq, teaching policing skills, then split. Mission Accomplished!

Elaine Chao: close personal friend of Johnny Chung.

Rep. Paul Ryan (WI): Has the same last name sex-in-public freak, and kinda looks like him, but isn't.

Michael Reagan: The son Ronald Reagan forgot. Thirty years before he had an excuse. And who can blame Ronnie?

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