Sunday, March 22, 2009
Goodbye, England's Roseca
Sad news from that septic'd isle:
Prime Minister Gordon Brown is leading tributes to reality TV star Jade Goody who has died of cancer at 27, praising her as a "courageous woman".
Goody died at home with her family in Upshire, Essex, in the early hours of Sunday after a high-profile battle with cervical cancer.
...
The prime minister said he was "deeply saddened" by the news.
"The whole country has admired her determination to provide a bright future for her children."
A fitting reminder that life is too short to waste time thinking about reality TV stars.
For those not familiar with Goody's ouevre, click here and here.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
But such levels of taxation could lead to the first real-life, real-time experiment which would settle a great debate of modern times. Disgruntled derivative traders and credit-default swappers and hedge fund managers left to survive on their salaries alone could take a hike and deprive society of their inestimable services until we parasites beg them to come back. And, in the meantime, we could muddle along as less talented schmucks fill the job slots of those who Go Galt.
In any event, it's time for libertarians to
I hope it's not a relapse.
Taking a break from picking lice from his hair, Corky Romano of Big Babywood squeals about oppression and suppression:
This brings me to the teleprompter gaffe. As of this writing, the video of the event with President Obama and Brian Cowen has not been released. By some reports, the video shows that Obama oftentimes has no idea what is on that teleprompter before he reads it and therefore, as he did on St. Patrick’s Day, ends up doing things like thanking himself for inviting everyone to the White House. An endearing gaffe between two national leaders or President Obama sincerely thanking President Obama for inviting everyone to the White House? The fact that the video has been suppressed may be very telling.
Where is the media on this story? Where are the demands for the video? Of course one would expect the AP, CNN, MSNBC, and others to ignore or play down this story, but FOX News? Bill O’Reilly? Ingraham? Hannity? Even Rush Limbaugh glossed over this story today, treating it as a humorous piece instead of a hard news story.
One wonders how Mr. Romano manages to feed and dress himself between such delusional thoughts.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Sex Lives of The Republicans
One successful foray ended on the guest bed of a high school friend's parents, with a girl who resembled a chunkier Reese Witherspoon drunkenly masticating my neck and cheeks. It had taken some time to reach this point--"Do most Harvard guys take so long to get what they want?" she had asked, pushing her tongue into my mouth. I wasn't sure what to say, but then I wasn't sure this was what I wanted. My throat was dry from too much vodka, and her breasts, spilling out of pink pajamas, threatened my ability to [sic?]. I was supposed to be excited, but I was bored and somewhat disgusted with myself, with her, with the whole business... and then whatever residual enthusiasm I felt for the venture dissipated, with shocking speed, as she nibbled at my ear and whispered--"You know, I'm on the pill..."
Funny definition of successful you've got there, mystery Republican!
Note how fast the mystery Republican managed to mention he was a Harvard "man" to the hook-up he'd plied with booze in order get her interested. Also of interest is the mystery Republican's attempt to have sex at the house of his friend's parents, with a young woman who either (1) was already staying at the house or (2) brought along pajamas for a date, despite the fact they'd never discussed contraception before. Either way, super classy!
The unintended point of this story is that this putz couldn't enjoy any schlub who would have his little member.
Mystery Republican's identity revealed here.
p.s. -- according to another site, the young woman's breasts threatened mystery Republican's ability "to breathe." Shame they didn't finish the job.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Stumble You Might Fall
The world's most inarticulate hillbillies issue a press release:
WASILLA, Alaska -- Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin, the teenage daughter of Gov. Sarah Palin, have broken off their engagement, he said Wednesday, about 2 1/2 months after the couple had a baby.One might assume that Levi's babymama is speaking of the no-account Johnston hoor who sold the story to the tabloids for hard currency. What she claims is false is anyone's guess. I 'spect the Palins and the Johnstons will grab their shootin' irons and commence to a-fussin' and a-feudin' 'til the last dawg dies.
Johnston, 19, told The Associated Press that he and 18-year-old Bristol Palin mutually decided "a while ago" to end their relationship. He declined to elaborate as he stood outside his family's home in Wasilla, about 40 miles north of Anchorage.
He also said some details of the breakup, rumors of which had been swirling on the Internet, were inaccurate.
Bristol Palin said in a statement issued through a spokeswoman for her mother's political action committee that she was "devastated."
"Unfortunately, my family has seen many people say and do many things to 'cash in' on the Palin name," she said. "Sometimes that greed clouds good judgment and the truth."
SarahPAC spokeswoman Meghan Stapleton did not immediately respond to requests for clarification.
And might I be so bold as to inquire what a political action committee is spending resources on something that could be more appropriately ddressed on Jerry Springer?
Monday, March 09, 2009
Minit Man
The Moonie Times has named Flounder to head its op-ed pages:
The Washington Times on Monday named Richard Miniter as editor of the editorial pages and vice president of opinion, the latest of a series of dramatic moves to boost the newspaper's global impact.From zero to anything would be a boost. I suspect that Minty will boost the paper's global impact by informing the Reverend's followers that they must now use the Times editorial pages instead of the traditional cloth Holy Handkerchief for ritual purposes, thus creating the same effect at both the beginning and end of the publishing process.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
A Bit of British Inbreeding
The British edition of the New York Post has published this bit of psycho babble, which limp dick wingnuts are already crowing about:
Like all good guests, Sarah Brown arrived bearing gifts for the children, Malia and Sasha. And they were really nice presents. A bit of thought had clearly gone into choosing them: Top Shop dresses (with matching necklaces) and a selection of books by British authors. Lovely.
...
In return Mrs Obama gave the Brown children, Fraser and John, two toy models of Marine One, the Presidential helicopter. Fair enough on the helicopter part, always a popular choice with small boys; but Marine One? It's not as though anyone needs reminding that Barack Obama is President or that he has his own helicopter. Short of giving the boys Action Man models of her own husband smiting the evil forces of neoconservatism, Mrs Obama's gesture could not have been more solipsistic or more inherently dismissive of Mrs Brown.
Not only did she demonstrate that she spent approximately three seconds contemplating the needs of the Brown boys (having an aide pop to the White House gift shop for a piece of merchandising does not imply a great deal of thought), she appeared to show a most uncharacteristic lapse of judgment.
Well, that's one way to look at it. Here's another.
As revealed by yesterday's Standard, the Browns showered gifts on the Obama children too, using the occasion to promote British exports.
Sarah Brown gave Sasha and Malia Obama an outfit each from Topshop, which has just opened its first American store in New York. She also picked six children's books by British authors which are shortly to be published in America.
In return, the Obamas gave the Browns two models of the presidential helicopter, Marine One, to take home to sons Fraser and John.
In the Ailes household, we have a name for people who compare the value of gifts exchanged. But I won't use that word here. And we have another word for assholes who manufacture outrage to promote their political agenda.
(Link added to first quote)
Stolberg to Obama: I'd Tap That
As someone who enjoys subtle puns and hidden innuendo in pithy headlines, I refuse to believe that Sherry Stolberg isn't making a lewd reference to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton:
Obama Taps Clinton Ideas but Not Clinton Herself
As others have pointed out, the Secretary of State has plenty of matters to occupy her time. But Sherry can't write the name Clinton uncoupled from a reference to fucking.
Listen to this psycho babble:
Mrs. Clinton's distance from the health care initiative, figuratively and literally — she will be in Brussels on Thursday when Mr. Obama begins his effort to overhaul the system with a high-profile gathering of experts — underscores how the Obama White House is grappling with the cloud that still lingers over the Clinton plan 15 years after it imploded.
Mr. Obama is at once trying to distance himself from the baggage Mrs. Clinton carries as the architect of that plan, while demonstrating that he has learned from it. He is drawing on the experiences of a host of aides who are Clinton veterans, notably Rahm Emanuel, the White House chief of staff. But he is not relying on Mrs. Clinton herself.
How clever of the President to sneak in a health care summit at the very moment Secretary Clinton wasn't looking. Or just maybe President Obama is at once trying to address the health care crisis, while demonstrating that he is trying to address the health care crisis.
The Times used to label made up shit as "News Analysis." No more. And it used to report on the substance of events, instead of putting on puppet shows of fairy tales.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Limp Teabags
While the teabaggers generously estimate attendance at last week's Bag-Ins as reaching into the "hundreds," it takes some clean fucking hippies to draw a real crowd:WASHINGTON — More than 2,000 clean-energy activists converged at a coal-fired power plant on Capitol Hill on Monday for a protest they billed as the largest display of civil disobedience on the climate crisis in U.S. history. Willing to be arrested for their cause, they encircled and blocked entrances to the plant, which powers the U.S. Capitol and House and Senate office buildings.
No doubt the wingnuts have some ready excuses, such as that the Bag-In was held on a weekday; there aren't ever any conservatives in D.C.; there was no promotion or celebrities involved; the evil media didn't count the fetuses and the pre-fertilized eggs in attendance; etc. But those excuses would be lies (except maybe the last one, as a lot of the men in attendance looked to be in their ninth month). The truth is, their constituency was out looking for jobs.
Sunday, March 01, 2009
This is outrageous.
Next thing you know, TPM Muckraker is going to start publishing stroke photos.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Plagiarizing Myself
Dobson Resigns as Chairman of Focus on the Family
Reverend Dobson is stepping down to spend more time with his family.
Specifically, more time with his son, in the shower.
(Note: Plagiarizing Myself means I originally wrote this in comments at Political Animal. No endorsement of the theft of intellectual property is intended or implied.)
Friday, February 27, 2009
Warbloggers Become Teabaggers
Having won the occupation of Iraq from their comfort of their doublewides and their tenured positions at inexplicably accredited law schools, the Fighting Keyboarders are now attempting to rewage the Revolutionary War, or at least their third-grade-homeschooler understanding of it.
In Our Nation's Capital, the Teabaggers failed to draw as many people as would Stuart Pankin with his R.V. full of shoe inserts. At a convention for parapalegics.
And a great portion of those attending the D.C. Teabag-In showed at the "protest" were simply paid whores, like Sam Putzelbacher, who was shoved back into his steamer trunk after some photographs were taken.
From Work to Wingnut Welfare
Debra Saunders is panicked that she may soon have to look for honest work. She wails:
Bloggers and e-mailers are crowing. If The Chronicle is shuttered, they'll be dancing a jig.
Many conservatives feel a warm glow at the possible demise of an institution that they believe to be failing because of liberal bias. On the far left, that same glow will satisfy those who think newspapers are not liberal enough.
The problem for Saunders is that the wingnuts who think the Chronic is a liberal rag think she's too liberal as well. (They know that the fact that Saunders' column appeared right next to a V.D. Hansen essay is just a trick to hide the paper's lefty agenda!)
If you lose the Chronic gig, Deb, you're out of luck. The right-wing media can find thousands of folks who are more red-eyed and spittle-flecked (and on the teevee, more telegenic) than you are. You could drop a nuclear bomb on the D.C. Omni Shoreham this weekend, and there'd still be plenty of cockroaches to beat you out of a job. Sure, you've smeared Al Gore in the past, but today's wingnut needs a steady diet of Obama is a communist-Muslim-alien-Negro and come to Jesus-or else, and you're no longer up to the task.
But don't worry. I'm sure Michael Savage needs someone to clip his lawn and his toenails. You won't even have to relocate.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Who Said Pro Wrestling Is Fake?
MINNEAPOLIS, (AP) -- The death of a 97-year-old man who was reportedly pushed by former pro wrestling star Verne Gagne has been called a homicide.
The coroner's report says Helmut Gutmann died of complications from a broken hip after he was pushed Jan. 26 at a nursing home in Bloomington.
While Wednesday's news release does not mention Gagne by name, Gutmann's wife and daughter have said the 83-year-old Gagne apparently threw Gutmann to the floor. At the time, both men suffered from dementia.
Where have you gone, Dick the Bruiser? The Aragon Brawlroom turns its lonely eyes to you....
Higher Ignorance
Between feedings, the Doughy Pantload attempts to invent a controversy in which President Obama questions the patriotism of the Load's fan base, high school dropouts. Sayeth the 'Load:
On the other hand, why is it okay to question the patriotism of high school drop-outs when it's just about the worst thing in the world to question the patriotism of people in other circumstances?
Later, the 'Load quotes with approval a dimwit who's fallen for Pantload's premise:
I missed the speech last night and you're the first to note his comment about dropping out of high school equalling a lack of patriotism. Personally, I dropped out of high school around thirty years ago and went on to serve 25 years on active duty in the U.S. Navy reaching the highest enlisted grade of Master Chief Petty Officer. Kind of odd to hear my actions were unpatriotic. Hmmm?
Let's see who else questions the patriotism of those without high school diplomas:
Question
Does an applicant have to have his/her GED or HS diploma in order to join the marines?
Answer
Hi Anthony,
In short, yes. High school diploma is preferred. Without either a HS diploma or a GED, the chances of enlistment are "nil," unless the applicant gets 15 or more college credits.
Even with a GED, the chances are not good (unless the applicant gets 15 or more college credits). The Marine Corps only accepts a maximum of 10 percent of their enlistments per year from GED-holders. 90 percent of all enlistees have either a high school diploma or at least 15 college credits.
For more information about the United States Military, feel free to visit my military information website at: http://usmilitary.about.com
Hope this helps!
Rod Powers
It does, Rod!
So the Marine Corps only allows service by those who have a high school diploma or its equivalent. Pantload, who blames the failure of his glorious military career on his sorry ass, would characterize this rejection of dropouts as questioning the dropouts' patriotism.
To be fair, the 'Load of the RingDings does undercut President Obama's suggestion that everyone with a high school diploma -- or a degree from Goucher College -- is not a complete and utter fucking moron of no value whatsoever to the country.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Iseman Gets Boned
Vicki Iseman, the lobbyist who believes that an accusation of having sex with John McCain is libel per se, has come up empty-handed in her suit against the New York Times. The NYT paid nothing. Ms. Iseman and/or her attorneys have eaten a large sum of attorneys fees and costs, while Iseman's shysters were left to write a 1000-word essay for the paper entitled "Why You'd Be Fucking Nuts to Hire Us."
Of course, the Times' story never said that McCain was boning Iseman, only that several of McCain's handlers were concerned he was boning her. It was the McCain campaign which suggested the article said so, in a desperate attempt to play the liberal-media victim card. It's a shame the litigation never got to the stage where McCain was questioned under oath about his PorkBusting. But someone sure wanted that settlement wrapped up quickly.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
And make people pay for this.
All for only five dollars a month.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Worst President (And Presidential Survey) Ever
Started this post yesterday, but technical difficulties ensued.
C-SPAN has published a survey of (putative) historians which places George W. Bush 36th out of 42 Presidents in terms of presidential leadership. The Unelected One finishes beneath Herbert Hoover but above Millard Filmore, the cartoon duck.
I'd imagine part of the reason Bush scored higher than 41st is the selection of "historians" which, upon closer observation, are "historians and professional observers of the presidency."
The survey of 65 included the votes of numerous right-wingers, such as AEI-affiliated hacks Steven Hayward and Walter Berns, gag writer Andrew Ferguson, Ronnie-humper Lou Cannon, outvoted Bush-is-no-Hoover apologist Alvin Feltzenberg, and professional Republicans/Nelson Rockefeller biographers Dick Norton Smith and Joseph Persico. The presence of Reagan Administration stooges, such as Hooveroid Annelise Anderson, also explains why Saint Ronnie ranked so highly. (Peggy Noonan must have been drying out when the survey made the rounds.)
The entire list has a let's - e-mail - everyone - on - our - guest - list - and - see - who - responds quality to it, and includes at least two misspelled participant names. All in all, the survey is a miserable failure, like the man who ranked 36th in it.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Can I Get A Waaaaahtness?
My favorite victim panel from CPAP 2009:
3:45 Targets of the Fairness Doctrine – Regency Ballroom
Joe Scarborough
Roger Hedgecock
Tucker Carlson
Tucker Carlson hasn't been such an unattractive target since he was hit on in that mens' room. Joe Scabro, meanwhile, is sucking the life out of shut-ins with cable and radio for five hours a day.
From the safe, familiar environment of a classroom, we watch countless parachutes drop from the sky and into the heart of America. Oh, no: invading Commies! Laugh if you want -- many do -- but Red Dawn has survived countless more acclaimed films because Father Time has always been our most reliable film critic.
Mr. Nolte is under the impression that there was some colossal cage match between movies and Red Dawn managed to bludgeon several more effette films to death. Or perhaps he's illiterate.
But Nolte's critique pales in comparison to this one from Michael Long: "Some have interpreted the film as a Cold War allegory because it features a menacing bear." Who knew The Great Outdoors was a parable of the great twilight struggle?
But What Was His Freeper Screen Name?
CPAC will be a little less crowded this year:
BELFAST, Maine — James G. Cummings, who police say was shot to death by his wife two months ago, allegedly had a cache of radioactive materials in his home suitable for building a "dirty bomb."
...
Also found was literature on how to build "dirty bombs" and information about cesium-137, strontium-90 and cobalt-60, radioactive materials. The FBI report also stated there was evidence linking James Cummings to white supremacist groups. This would seem to confirm observations by local tradesmen who worked at the Cummings home that he was an ardent admirer of Adolf Hitler and had a collection of Nazi memorabilia around the house, including a prominently displayed flag with swastika. Cummings claimed to have pieces of Hitler's personal silverware and place settings, painter Mike Robbins said a few days after the shooting.
An application for membership in the National Socialist Movement filled out by Cummings also was found in the residence, according to the report. Cummings’ wife, Amber B. Cummings, 31, told investigators that her husband spoke of "dirty bombs," according to the report, and mixed chemicals in her kitchen sink. She allegedly told police that Cummings subjected her to years of mental, physical and sexual abuse. She also said that Cummings was "very upset" when Barack Obama was elected president.
That's quite the common reaction, if the wingnutosphere is any indication. If any blog with the term Confederate, Patriot or Pundit has stopped publishing recently, the chances it will resume publication are looking pretty slim.
And before you suggest I exaggerate, I saw comments on the wingnut blogs in the last two days asserting that (1) blacks burned crosses themselves in order to initiate college race riots, and (2), with respect to Mr. Cummings, "Don't discount the planting of evidence in order to facilitate an agenda.... Yet, a White person is proud of being White and they're terrorists." (No links to the nuts.) And then there's Debbie Schlussel.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Depends Ends
Roger el-Simon addresses the dupes troops:
I wrote a letter to the Pajamas Media network bloggers yesterday, some of whom took it a bit more personally than intended. We disbanded the ad network part of our business for a simple reason: it was losing money and we couldn't see how in the reasonable future that would change.
Actually that part of our business has been losing money from the beginning, so the people getting their quarterly checks from PJM were getting a form of stipend from us in the hopes that advertisers would start to cotton to blogs and we could possibly make a profit. Didn't happen. No wonder those people are kicking and screaming now that they are off the dole. I might too. (Emphasis added.)
Those of you who had "wingnut welfare" may collect your prizes. Line forms right here.
But exactly what "part of our business" at Depends hasn't been losing money from the start? There is no other part of the business. Perhaps Roger means the part of the business that resides in his bank account.
The questions remain: Who was willing to take losses for such a long time, and why? (I suppose it wasn't that long. November 2005 was when Pamela Oshry was flashing Instacracker at the swanky Depends launch party. Still, three years is a long time to flush money down the crapper and into the orifices of Rog-el and Chuck Johnson.)
P.S. to Rog-el, you might want to take this bit down asap. It's a target rich environment.
Update: Link fixed! This blog still not losing money!
Next
Not all wingnuts are looking to Cookie Puss, Big Pharma and Sharia Plain to save their souls. One New Righty at The Next Right recommends a mystery guest -- try to fit the description to the Saviour before clicking through:
Unpredictable, intellectual, policy-oriented, witty, with a brain the size of a planet. If there a better public intellectual for our day, I don't know who it is. In __________, I see the potential to transform the Right; to tear down the sacred cows and rebuild a much more coherent, effective movement.
Mister Gorbachev, tear down those cows!
To give you a hint, this wingnut also writes that "James Lileks or Mark Steyn, each of whom has the sharpest wit and the most devastating turn of phase [sic]." Adjust your expectations accordingly.
Spectacular Fail
I admit it. I was wrong. Spectacularly so.
Just three days ago, I offered the following economic analysis:
The fatal flaw in [Culture 11's] business model was the failure to line up a neocon sugar daddy who would subsidize bat shit if it spouted an anti-Arab, U.S. imperialist line.
Since then, the market for imperialist anti-Arab bat shit has collapsed spectacularly.
As Tom illustrates in the link above, the failure of Depends is already causing a ripple effect in the form of job losses among financially dependent bloggers. That couldn't come at a worse time, given that Starbucks is already laying off workers.
And, really, Rog-el, a professional writer putting out work like this?
In the last few months we have strengthened the PJTV lineup with shows covering Media Bias, Education Bias, Middle East Update, Sharia and Jihad, Powerline Report, Ask Dr. Helen, Hugh News, Poliwood, Conservatism 2.0, Economy and Finance, National Security, and others.
Shows covering Ask Dr. Helen and Hugh News? Now that's narrowcasting.
Does anyone else suspect that PJTV sent Sam Wurzelbacher to Israel with something more than 3x5 cards and miniature condoms in his luggage?
Congratulations, Cookie Puss!
And the Rancy goes to Michael "Cookie Puss" Steele, a man with paranoid delusions of having bigoted baked goods lobbed at his bonce.
As his first act as Chairman of the RNC, Steele is expected to call on himself to denounce and repudiate himself for his rare moments of honesty and lucidity:
"In Katrina, the president is at 30,000 feet in an airplane looking down at people dying, living on a bridge. And that disconnect, I think, sums up, for me at least, the frustration that Americans feel."
The response to Katrina was "a monumental failure," [Steele] continued. "We became so powerful in our ivory towers, in our gated communities. We forgot that there are poor people." The detachment remained after the storm, he said. "I could see that they weren't getting it, they weren't necessarily clued in. . . . For me, the seminal moment was the [Dubai] port decision.
... "For me to pretend I'm not a Republican would be a lie," he reasoned. But to run as a proud Republican? "That's going to be tough, it's going to be tough to do," he said. "If this race is about Republicans and Democrats, I lose."
Now that's party leadership I can believe in!
Ken Snackwell, the Hydrox of the leadership race, withdrew in early balloting and tossed his crumbling support to Cookie Puss. Stay tuned to see if Steele's other rivals, an assortment of crackers and mixed nuts, accuse the ex-Lt. Governor and serial fabulist of having the ballot box double stufed.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
C11 Was A Joke
Perhaps the finest mission statement since the launch of HotSoup:
Culture11 is just getting started. Over the next year we plan to grow our content offerings as well as provide you with even more interactive features that allow you to comment, contribute content and interact with others and connect communities around topics and causes you care about.
And then we plan to launch a line of New Coke and Crystal Pepsi-based wine coolers that the kids will just love.
The fatal flaw in C11's business model was the failure to line up a neocon sugar daddy who would subsidize bat shit if it spouted an anti-Arab, U.S. imperialist line. Namby-pamby wingnuttery from Megan McArdle-ultralites doesn't attract the high-dollar donors or the lily-white eyeballs of the Joe Droolbucket base. You gotta have hate!
I suspect Big Babywood isn't long for this worldwideweb either. How many variations on my career, which you've never heard of, wouldn't suck so hard if it wasn't for liberals can you read?
Fortunately, dear readers, due to low, low overhead and an appreciation for pacing, Roger Ailes will outlive a cockroach's herpes.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Who to replace William "Bill" Kristol on the Times' op-ed page?
John Podhoretz, natch.
The Times has traditions to uphold.
Kristol claims writing for the Times was "a lot of work." Well, of course it is.
Friday, January 23, 2009
All of it, if you're Pastor Brady Boyd, according to The Associated Press:
Brady Boyd, who succeeded Haggard as senior pastor of the 10,000-member New Life Church in Colorado Springs, told The Associated Press that the man came forward to church officials in late 2006 shortly after a Denver male prostitute claimed to have had a three-year cash-for-sex relationship with Haggard.
Boyd said an "overwhelming pool of evidence" pointed to an "inappropriate, consensual sexual relationship" that "went on for a long period of time ... it wasn't a one-time act." Boyd said the man was in his early 20s at the time. He said he was certain the man was of legal age when it began.
...
Boyd said the church reached a legal settlement to pay the man for counseling and college tuition, with one condition being that none of the parties involved discuss the matter publicly.
You're a freakin' genius, Brady boy. Way to flush that confidentiality clause down the crapper!
The Content of They're Character
Fox News must have threatened Wan Julliams with the same severance package it gave Alan Colmes, because Wan's working overtime on another Murdoch organ to inoculate his pale pals on the right against criticism:
Several seasons ago, when Philadelphia Eagle's black quarterback Donovan McNabb was struggling, radio commentator Rush Limbaugh said the media wanted a black quarterback to do well and gave Mr. McNabb "a lot of credit for the performance of this team that he didn't deserve." Mr. Limbaugh's sin was saying out loud what others had said privately.I'm happy to judge Wan's performance as a journalist on his inability to punctuate correctly. And his ability to spout right-wing talking points on cue.
There is a lot more at stake now, and to allow criticism of Mr. Obama only behind closed doors does no honor to the dreams and prayers of generations past: that race be put aside, and all people be judged honestly, openly, and on the basis of their performance.
Meanwhile, a competent journalist measures performance:
In the five-plus years since Rush Limbaugh uttered those words, the Philadelphia Eagles' quarterback has:
-- Passed for 19,151 yards and thrown 155 touchdowns in 77 regular season games.
-- Has a 6-3 record in the NFL playoffs.
-- Reached the NFC title game three times.
-- Gone to one Super Bowl.
His teammates must be tired of carrying him all these years.
Not only that, McNabb's never bought drugs illegally from his maid, destroyed his own hearing, gotten his ass fired for displaying bigotry, gone on sex tours to the Third World or spent a lonely Friday night hand-washing the unmentionables of his ugly stepbrothers, Fred Barnes and Charles Krauthammer.
I'm off to find Wan's similar column chiding "the media" giving Geo. Bush "a free pass for screw-ups, lies or failure to keep a promise." Don't wait up for me.
Monday, January 19, 2009
US Vice President Dick Cheney pulled a muscle in his back while moving boxes and will be in a wheelchair for Tuesday's historic inauguration of incoming president Barack Obama, the White House said.
"Vice President Cheney pulled a muscle in his back today while moving boxes into his new house," White House spokeswoman Dana Perino said.
"Under his physician's recommendation, the vice president will be in a wheelchair for the next couple of days, including for tomorrow's inauguration."
How All Criminal Sagas End These Days
"It has been an awesome eight years," he went on. "The days are long, but the years are short. … If you ever want a nice meal, come and knock on our door in Dallas, Texas." He waved goodbye over the opening chords of "Don't Stop Believin'."
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Bruce Springsteen recently came back onstage, joined by 79-year-old folk singer Pete Seeger and a choir (the same one?), for a version of “This Land Is Your Land.”
Seeger is 89.
At least they didn't credit TLIYL to the Five Man Electrical Band.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Bienvenido al Cielo, Senor Boulet
Sometimes there's something worse than speaking ill of the dead. Witness Kathryn J. Lopez's eulogy of John Boulet:
He was such a generous person. A funny thing: He would send me his Ms. magazines so two of us didn’t give them subscription money as we sought to know the enemy! And, yes, John, I wouldn’t be surprised if I found out he always said a prayer for me when he put the magazine in the envelope.
I'll bet he did the same thing with Jonah Goldberg and his old copies of Swank.
America's Most Wanted
Think Progress ranks the worst members of the Bush Administration. I know it's a crowded field, but Johnny Asscrack and (especially) Condoleezza "Historical Document" Rice surely deserve higher rankings than Ari the Talking Penis and incompetent boob Michael Brown. Rice's criminality involved both acts of commission and omission; Asscrack's greatest acheivement is that he's not Abu Gonzales
And has everyone forgotten those career criminals, Johns Negroponte and Poindexter?
Update: Link fixed.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
It Isn't Rich
Arlen Specter, who is missing out on a lucrative career as the cartoon voice of Richard Nixon, didn't lay a glove on Eric Holder, President-elect Obama's nominee for Attorney General. 90s nostalgia ain't what it used to be.
Joe Conason has an interesting take on the hearing and the subject of Arlen's obsession.
Diaper David Vitter was the lone Senator on the Foreign Relations Committee to vote against Senator Clinton's Secretary of State appointment. Seems the only change Vitter supports involves a pro with a fresh nappy and a five and five ones.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Meet Your Liberal Media -- Failing Upward
Honesty and competence are no longer required to succeed in broadcasting, IYAR:
It's a moment President Bush has repeatedly called a mistake: Delivering a speech on board the USS Abraham Lincoln in the Spring of 2003 with a "Mission Accomplished" banner featured prominently behind him.
But the much-maligned photo-op wasn't the president's fault at all, according to former White House Communications Director Dan Bartlett.
Bartlett, currently a political analyst with CBS, said Tuesday he was the one who actually gave the final go-ahead of the event.
And when exactly, CNN, did Flight-Suit Prancer repeatedly call his favorite photo-op a mistake?
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Is This The End of Depends Media?
G.I. Joe the Plumber is out to prove that Sharia Palin isn't the dullest knife in the G.O.P. cutlery drawer:
"I think media should be abolished from, uh, you know, reporting."The kind folks at Depends Media got Joe his passport and his shots, and this is how he repays them? You're giving trained monkeys a bad name, Wurzelbacher.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Joe's For Jesus
If you have a loved one who died in Iraq or Afghanistan, he or she just didn't love Jesus enough, says Joe "the Plumber" Wurzelbacher. The illiquid plumber couldn't cut it in crapper repair, so he's got a new gig pestering Israelis for Depends Media."I get to go over there and let their 'Average Joes' share their story, what they think, how they feel, especially with world opinion, maybe get a real story out there," [Wurzelbacher] said.
"If given the opportunity to do some good however minute it may be, or could be something really good, you gotta take that chance. You have to do it," he added, heroically.
Is he scared that one of the Hamas rockets might have his name on it? Not really. After all, as he explained, he's a Christian so God will keep him safe.
"Being a Christian I'm pretty well protected by God I believe," he said.
JtP can convert a few of Israeli Joes to Christianity while he's on assignment, if only to save their lives. And when he gets back, he can baptize Roger L. Simon.
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Spider-Man 3, a pro-American, pro-responsibility film with deeply Christian overtones topped the box office in 2007.
I'm glad I missed that one.
Other bloggers at the site include U.S. Representative Thaddeus McCotter, the Virgin Ben, a screenwriter using a pseudonym, an extra from Enterprise and not-Assrocket. Expect posts from Kirk Cameron, Victoria Jackson and Mickey Kaus in the near future, and a 404 message to soon follow.
The Al Franken Sexennial
Congratulations to Senator-Elect Al Franken on his defeat of bent incumbent Nor Loserman.
P.S. to Nor: Election attorneys are not the lawyers you should be spending time with right now.
Monday, January 05, 2009
Power Concedes Nothing Without A Demand
(link)
While we're all feeling satisfied with ourselves today, it wouldn't hurt to remember the children who were brutalized in our own lifetimes, and honor their lives. And also to remember the terrorists of the time, and their sympathizers, many of whom are still with us.
Saturday, January 03, 2009
Over at VegetativeState, Oly Olafson takes the early lead in the race for the 2009 World's Stupidest Fucking Blogger Award (aka the Goldbergy). Says Oly:
Washington Post hires left-wing blogger. I guarantee they wouldn't hire someone from the right.
Well, we really don't need any reminder as to the liberal bias of the mainstream media, but I'll remind you anyway.
Greg Sargent was with the left-wing Talking Points Memo. Now he is with the Washington Post.
I'm sure Greg Sargent is good at what he does, but I'm also sure the Washington Post would not even consider hiring someone directly from the right-of-center blogosphere.
Not now, that's for damn sure.
After someone points out the 800-pound box turtle in the room, Oly yodel-simpers his response:
He was tossed quickly after lefty outrage — and let's be honest, it had more to do with the lefty outrage than later revelations. They weren't going to stand by him the minute the phones started wringing [sic!].Yes, let's be honest. How does that go again?
On March 24 2006, RedState contributor Erick (Erickson) called the plagiarism allegations "lies" and said that "permissions obtained" were not reflected in the online record.
Or is it more like this?
Domenech said he needed to research the examples but that he never used material without attribution and had complained about a college editor improperly adding language to some of his articles.
Bonus fun, from Oly's comments: "Where does anyone get off insulting the CO-FOUNDER of a blog on his own blog?"
(Story via Memeorandum, and seen on many other blogs -- see here and here.)
Friday, January 02, 2009
Love Changes Everything
I've come back from my break a more passionate and sensitive Roger, open to life's transformative possibilities and with a deep appreciation of intimacy in all its forms. Some might call it mood-swingy.
To reflect my changed outlook on life, I offer you a true story of Love and the Power of the Internet.
Enjoy.
The Defense of Marriage Bankruptcy Act
Now here are some victims of the Bush Recession I can really feel for:
When Marci Needle and her husband began to contemplate divorce in June, they thought they had enough money to go their separate ways. They owned a million-dollar [sic] home near Atlanta and another in Jacksonville, Fla., as well as investment properties.
Now the market for both houses has crashed, and the couple are left arguing about whether the homes are worth what they owe on them, and whether there are any assets left to divide, Ms. Needle said.
"We're really trying very hard to be amicable, but it puts a strain on us," said Ms. Needle," the friction audible in her voice. I want him to buy me out. It's in everybody's interest to settle quickly. That would be my only income. It's been incredibly stressful."
That just tears me up. If the Needles can't make do with two "million dollar" homes and their investment properties, what hope is there for the rest of us.
(It seems to me the article should have mentioned that the Needles are real estate pros, just for context. Apparently the commercial real estate market in Jacksonville is in the crapper too, but you'd think Dave would let Marci keep her job as General Manager if he was so amicable.)
It used to be that an ailing economy was good for Big Divorce:
High-finance marriages are crumbling along with the economy, divorce lawyers say, and because of it, couples who are splitting up are paying closer attention to the timing of bonus payouts and other economic trends in the hope of achieving the best possible settlement.
"A lot of couples who have been living the good life have begun the process of re-evaluating their lives together," said Jacalyn F. Barnett, a Manhattan divorce lawyer. "In the past year, I have seen how the dramatic changes in our economy have had a dramatic effect on married people, especially those who have been used to earning high salaries, and many of those couples can no longer handle the stress."
But now people can't afford to lose the old ball-and-chain, and can't even just scram in the middle of the night and let the bank take over the maintenance. Perhaps God will send us a depression so that traditional marriage can be restored to its former glory.
From The Department of People In Hell Want Ice Water
This just in:
"Some Conservatives Fear Obama Advisers Lean Too Far Left"
Obama's Team Rankles the Right
To Some Conservatives, Advisers Are Alarmingly Liberal
By Carol D. Leonnig
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, January 2, 2009; Page A13
To some staunch conservatives watching President Bush relinquish the reins of power to President-elect Barack Obama, a few too many ardent liberals are now crashing the gates.
Some well-known Democratic activists are advising Obama on how to steer federal agencies, including a few whom conservative Republicans fought hard to keep out of power in the Clinton administration. They include Roberta Achtenberg, a gay activist whose confirmation as an assistant housing secretary was famously held up by then-Sen. Jesse Helms (N.C.), and Bill Lann Lee, who was hotly opposed by foes of affirmative action and temporarily blocked from the government's top civil rights job.
The article doesn't quote a single conservative currently criticizing Ms. Achtenberg for being too liberal or the Obama transition team for using Ms. Achtenberg as an adviser. It does quote Jesse Helms, who now exists in the form of worm excrement. Perhaps the author has a beef with Ms. Achtenberg. In any event, conservative whining about liberalism, real or imagined, is about as newsworthy as the sunrise.
Roger, on the other hand, fears that Carol D. Leonnig is a piss-poor writer:
Besides Achtenberg and Lee, other transition advisers' past positions are sending off flares in the ultra-conservative wing of the Republican Party. None of them responded to requests for comment.Who failed to comment? The past positions? The flares in the ultra-conservative wing of the Republican Party? And precisely how did the past positions infiltrate the G.O.P. to send off flares from within that party?
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Nothing Changes On New Year's Day
I see some sort of unpleasantness took place in the Middle East while I was away. Fortunately many virtual dicks were swung throughout the blogosphere, thus solving the problem before I might have to offer an opinion on the matter.
And speaking of virtual dicks, this post from Marty "The Wedding Singer" Peretz shows why his wife keeps him on an allowance:
One of the ways you can keep up with the world is read all of your e-mails. I don't think I have bad credit. I do not have mortgages on my places of residence. [Of that I have no doubt -- RA] And my payments are up-to-date on my American Express and Visa cards. Still I get solicitations such as the one below at least once or twice a week.
Secured Credit
A Credit Card for People with Bad Credit
New Millenium Bank
2 Wisconsin Circle, Suite 700
Chevy Chase, MD 20815
Attn: Customer Care
I wonder whether the New Millenium Bank has applied for bail-out relief. Bad credit? Why don't you go and borrow from the bank?
Secured credit credit cards, of course, advance the borrower "credit" in the amount of his or her cash deposit with the lender, and carry outrageous origination fees, interest rates etc. for the privilege. (See here for a relatively mild example, if you've been living off your spouse for over a decade.)
Peretz might as well inveigh against those risk-taking rent-to-own and payday loan financiers. Opinion journalism's answer to Marion Davies sure lives a sheltered life.
Next week, Marty complains, "I can get it up whenever I want, but the makers of h3rba1 V1a9ra won't let me be!"
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Oh for a book and a shady crook...
Since Roger is otherwise detained and I still have a key to the place -
There are very good reasons why the Wall Street Journal employs Karl Rove. After all, he did mastermind the election of a virtual idiot into a spot somewhat higher than first runner up at American Idol. But I think that the WSJ had something other in mind than Rove writing fanfic about Incurious George, the man who put the 'brief' into briefing:
I'm as willing as the next person to believe that Rove may have actually read 76 books; he doesn't exactly look like he spends his late evening hours at raves. But please don't try to tell me that George W. Bush reads nearly a book a week. The Sporting News, during baseball season, yes. "A History of the English Speaking Peoples Since 1900."? Please. That would be too ironic.
At year's end, I defeated the president, 110 books to 95. My trophy looks suspiciously like those given out at junior bowling finals. The president lamely insisted he'd lost because he'd been busy as Leader of the Free World.
Mr. Bush's 2006 reading list shows his literary tastes. The nonfiction ran from biographies of Abraham Lincoln, Andrew Carnegie, Mark Twain, Babe Ruth, King Leopold, William Jennings Bryan, Huey Long, LBJ and Genghis Khan to Andrew Roberts's "A History of the English Speaking Peoples Since 1900," James L. Swanson's "Manhunt," and Nathaniel Philbrick's "Mayflower." Besides eight Travis McGee novels by John D. MacDonald, Mr. Bush tackled Michael Crichton's "Next," Vince Flynn's "Executive Power," Stephen Hunter's "Point of Impact," and Albert Camus's "The Stranger," among others.
Fifty-eight of the books he read that year were nonfiction. Nearly half of his 2006 reading was history and biography, with another eight volumes on current events (mostly the Mideast) and six on sports.
To my surprise, the president demanded a rematch in 2007. Though the overall pace slowed, he once more came in second in our two-man race, reading 51 books to my 76.
Rove should stick to giving tips on manipulating public opinion in order to destroy the Constitution inch by inch while emptying the Treasury into Dick Cheney's buddies pockets. When it comes to what is commonly called "polishing the turd", he should leave it to pros like John Hinderaker who can use his tongue purtier than a twenty-dollar whore.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
It Must Be Love
Regrettably, I will be working full-time and more through the holidays. That depressing news is balanced out by an exciting upswing in my personal life. The first part is only temporary; the second, who knows? But for now, something's got to give. Although this blog will suffer in the short run, I am hopeful that it will continue to exist, and I will try to make it so.
A very happy and healthy year end to all my virtual friends. Thank you for reading, and for participating.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Jerry Falwell's Evil Twin
Note: Falwell was evil too, of course. But the one with the goatee always gets the title.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Ho Ho Ho
Instacracker has had a series of hard-hitting posts on the Bush economy this past week (link and internal links omitted):
LOTS OF big electronics markdowns.
...
A BUNCH OF jewelry on sale, at Amazon.
...
CHRISTMAS DISCOUNTS on gourmet food.
...
A BUNCH OF bargain toys for Christmas and Hanukah. Lots more toy deals here.
...
TOP KIDS-AND-FAMILY DVDs OF 2008.
...
AMAZON PRIME IS on sale for Christmas, letting you get a year of free two-day shipping for $59. I've been an Amazon Prime user since it first started and I've loved it....
Whether "Professor" Reynolds is spreading for amazon.com for free or he's making money on the deal matters not to me. Product placement is as American as Hostess Fruit Pies, and if the 'Cracker's drooling groupies don't mind wasting their time (or are too stupid to find amazon on their own), far be it from me to complain. The triumphs of the blogsphere are that you don't have to label advertising as such, and any content-free whore can get rich or die trying. And its not like anyone takes the 'Cracker seriously anyway.
Satire Recognized In Great Britian
It's the law:
"The transparently false attribution is irony," said [Mr Justice] Tugendhat, in a 17-page judgment. "Irony is a figure of speech in which the intended meaning is the opposite of that expressed by the words used ... The attribution is literally false but no reasonable reader could be misled by it." The judge added: "Irony is not always a form of sarcasm or ridicule."
If anyone would know about ridicule, it'd be a guy named Tugendhat.
You know, like when he falsely blamed these arson fires on eco-terrorists.
Context Is The Devil
I love NewsBusters, the website that can find conservative bias in the alphabet. There's so much stupidity on the site that I don't usually bother writing about it. But here's a perfect illustration from contributor Tom Blumer, who apparently has unlimited access to a computer at the halfway house.
Blumer chides an Associated Press reporter for mentioning a Focus on the Family presentation at Sharia Plain's wingnut church in an article about a suspected arson fire at the church. Key simpering point: "D'Oro had to work hard to get the Focus on the Family dig in. As would be expected, Greg Johnson's coverage at the local Frontiersman said nothing about the Sunday bulletin ad, nor did the lengthier coverage at the Anchorage Daily News. Of course not: It has no relevance to the story."
And here's the reference:
..... Palin, who was not at the church at the time of the fire, stopped by Saturday. Her spokesman, Bill McAllister, said in a statement that Palin told an assistant pastor she was sorry if the fire was connected to the "undeserved negative attention" the church has received since she became the vice presidential candidate Aug. 29.
"Whatever the motives of the arsonist, the governor has faith in the scriptural passage that what was intended for evil will in some way be used for good," McAllister said.
The 1,000-member evangelical church was the subject of intense scrutiny after Palin was named John McCain's running mate. Early in Palin's campaign, the church was criticized for promoting in a Sunday bulletin a Focus on the Family "Love Won Out Conference" in Anchorage. The conference promised to "help men and women dissatisfied with living homosexually understand that same-sex attractions can be overcome.
Do I need to spell out the relevance of the reference to anyone that was able to turn on a computer?
If I had been the A.P. reporter, I would have simply stated that "No evidence exists that the fire was the result of attention from Palin's campaign, and Palin and her spokesman are scumbags for portraying Palin as a victim." The reporter also could have pointed out plenty of other wingnut goings on at the church which came up in the campaign. But for Blumer to claim that the final paragraph was not necessary to put the Palin stooge's remark into context shows only that Blumer's road to mental recovery will be longer than the Al-Can Highway.
The Underground Internet
Tristam finds some blog triumphalism at its most offensive and stupid. The source is not a surprise.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Meet Your Liberal Media: Useless Idiots Edition
Bob Somerby is right to blast Morning Joe co-star and prize dullard Mika Brzezinski for recycling the lie that UAW workers earn $73.00 an hour. But he doesn't emphasize the source of Brzezinski's idiocy is the Brent Bozell e-rag CNS News, an organ with even less credibility than Brzezinski and her co-host, Joe Scarborough. Brzezinski is a lot like her heroine, Sarah Palin, in that she believes anything that's placed in front of her and she's told to read. And it's no suprise she's now appearing on the same wingnut radio station as Big Pharma, Hannity, Don Imacracker and hairless troll doll Mark LEVin.
A Moveable Dumbass
Over at the Kiddie Corner, Mark Hemmingway's stomach rumbles like a tsumani as he chortles over Rev. Jerry Wright's ignorance about the fundamental details of World War II. Shit Steyn also joins in the fun.
Yeah, Wright's almost as big a dumbass as the guy who said this:
President Roosevelt waited until after World War II to put in place a commission to investigate what mistakes led to Pearl Harbor. That was a wise move, but then Roosevelt did not face the kind of hyper-partisanship that plagues America these days.
The dumbass in question is Cliff May, and the dumbasses who published his dumbassery are the dumbasses at National Review. And the dumbassery is still displayed on NRO more than four years later. I'd send Hemmingway the link, but I suspect his pants are already saturated from amusement.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Time For Another Blagojevich Ethics Panel
Gov. Rod "the Blog" Blagojevich (D-IL) is trying to ruin my Grand Old Police Blotter schtick.
Thank God for Vito "Ed Grimley" Fossella (R-NY) and his .17 BAC. Kids, don't drink hand sanitizer and drive!
By the way, those who are attributing Joseph Cao's win in Louisiana to low African-American turnout can blow me. A little over a month ago, the pale Republicans in Alaska nearly returned convicted criminal Ted Stevens to the U.S. Senate. African-American turnout in Louisiana was low because African-American voters didn't support Jefferson, not because of apathy.
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Monday, December 01, 2008
Do-Over Or Die
When pressed by Gibson, Bush declined to "speculate" on whether he would still have gone to war if he knew Hussein didn't have weapons of mass destruction.
"That is a do-over that I can't do," Bush said.
Sorry, Charley, but that's the wrong question. The correct question is, "Why did you go to war when you knew Hussein didn't have weapons of mass destruction?" Press that question, you enabling asshole.
The E-Nvisible Hand
Since I posted last Thursday, the life-sized and anatomically correct rectal thermometer at National Review Online has moved not a penny. The Corner's readers appear to be as bankrupt as the contributors. How long before the Cornerites are reduced to cannibalism as a means of cutting overhead?
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thanks
A nearly-belated Happy Thanksgiving to everyone, and a premature blessed Red Friday as well. Your patronage of this blog is greatly appreciated.
True, you haven't given me nearly $75K, as The Corner claims its readers have, but that just proves you're a lot smarter than the folks who read America's Shittiest Website sans self-awareness.
And, for Buy Nothing Day, I've got a great list of suggestions for things not to buy. Apparently, the Welfare Queens in the Corner aren't so tapped that they can't blow that seventy-five kay on $400 DVD sets, papal indulgences and full-price hardcovers they'd be able to fish out of remainder bin in January. Oh, and the Wall Street Journal for that lucky homeschooled sixth-grader. The dot-matrix illustration of John Fund is an outstanding visual aid for those Stranger Danger lessons.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Roger's Reader Participation
The New York Post is reporting than Ann Coulter's jaw is broken and has been wired shut.
It would be irresponsible for you not to speculate what led to this series of unfortunate events.
Of course, every cloud has its silver lining:
DON'T consume alcohol. Perhaps you were thinking that you could cheat, but there is a reason they put this on your recovery form. On your all-liquid diet, alcohol is a quick ticket to dehydration and you'll feel the effect within minutes. It will also send you running to the nearest restroom (if you're lucky enough to find one nearby!).
When one orifice closes ....
Monday, November 24, 2008
Mister Mustache Rides Again
From The Corner:
"I confess I had no desire to die in a Southeast Asian rice paddy" [Kathryn Jean Lopez]
Jack Bauer channelled John Bolton when dealing with that odious U.N. peacekeeper last night on 24: Redemption.
More 24 in January. Something to look forward to that month.
(Link edited for comedic effect, although the original is actually funnier)
Sunday, November 23, 2008
The Rational Market
From the Financial Times:
Fox News Channel creator Roger Ailes renewed his contract with Rupert Murdoch's News Corp as a new US presidential administration brings a fresh opportunity for the cable news network to reclaim its heritage as America's alternative news source.
...
"Roger has done a remarkable job building Fox News into a force in journalism and built a great asset for News Corporation," Mr Murdoch said in a statement.
...
News Corp shares fell 11 per cent to $5.47 in New York yesterday.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Here are some classic koans from the world's shittiest failed nun?
What is the sound of one hand tossing:
Where Were We on Debate Night?!? [Kathryn Jean Lopez]
"Thank you, for being up on Election Night." So one high-powered Washington hand told me last night at a Federalist Society function. He's a Corner addict and he had suffered through some presidential-debate nights when he beloved Corner [sic] could not be reached.
Here's another riddle, posted about an hour before Lopez started yammering again:
Friday in Our Alternative-Reality America [Kathryn Jean Lopez]
I think everyone needs to take a week off. No more punditry. Just sleeping, reading, praying, normal living. I really want David Brooks to take the week off when he praises Eric Holder.
And my favorite:
Odd [Kathryn Jean Lopez]
Mike Huckabee did the Rachel Maddow show on his book before Laura Ingraham's.
If you meet Lopez's brain cell, kill it.
Blogging Is Heroic. The Rest Is Commentary.
Warner Fred Flinstone, last seen undressing his G.I. Joe doll, is upset that he wasn't consulted on a matter of usage:
Yahoo News featured an interesting short report issued by Agence France-Presse on November 20. In it we discover that a consortium of French, German and Hungarian mathematicians are claiming to have proven that Einstein's famous equation, e=mc2, is correct. The report is all good except for one very small aspect. They call the effort of these mathematicians "heroic" in contradiction to the root meaning of the word. Mathematics isn't "heroic" and it is a degradation of true heroics to say it is.
Unfortunately, while a small thing too casually used in the AFP report, it proves a sort of degradation of our language. [Like that last sentence -- RA] Not only that, but it further devalues real heroism, making the word mean less with each garbled usage.
Flintstone goes on for eleven more paragraphs, whinging that the word heroic is losing value faster than your 401(K) because of its application to pussy eggheads. He sighs, ungrammatically, that "[m]edical missionaries in third world nations risking their own safety and health to save the lives of people that have no access to modern medicine is even heroic." To Warner's mind, such as it is, "hero" should be applied only soliders, firefighters and the well-worn residents of his toychest.
I'm guessing Warner failed first year algebra, and can't bear to think that something he can't even fantasize about doing correctly might be heroic.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Steele-Pelted Radicals
I wholeheartedly encourage the RNC to name Michael Steele as its next chair. He is, after all, the man who, during his failed Senate bid, allowed his supporters to claim he was pelted with cookies back in the day. The RNC badly needs more ineffectual and uninspiring victims to lead it even farther into the wilderness. And it's nice of the media to forget that little fairy tale until Steele gets the nod.
Just call him "Double Stuf."
Thursday, November 13, 2008
I like Sarah Palin, and I've heartily enjoyed her arrival on the national stage. As a career classroom teacher, I can see how smart she is -- and quite frankly, I think the people who don't see it are the stupid ones, wrapped in the fuzzy mummy-gauze of their own worn-out partisan dogma. So she doesn't speak the King's English -- big whoop! There is a powerful clarity of consciousness in her eyes. She uses language with the jumps, breaks and rippling momentum of a be-bop saxophonist.
We need to encourage thinking like this among the Republicans.
We've Run Out Of Space On The Internet
The problem with the new media is the limitations of the medium. Just ask "Doctor" Helen Smith of Depends Media.
In her latest column, "Dr." Helen asks the big questions:
"Is there no creativity today among those who lean right? If so, where can you find it?"
Which raises the further question, "If not, who?"
The good "Doctor" then conducts an exhaustive search for right-wing culture, relying primarily on a list of people with nothing better to do than participate in poorly produced podcasts:
That point made, there are many good places to read or learn more about conservative culture. I will give my suggestions and turn the floor over to others who can widen this selection. Science fiction is a good place to start (though I am not a big fan, many people are!). Try Robert Heinlein's books if you have not already done so. Starship Troopers and The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress are good places to start. Or try Venor Vinge works such as Singularity and Rainbow's End. (Here’s an interview my husband and I did with him here.) Orson Scott Card's books also might be of interest to you; as a layperson when it comes to science fiction, I enjoyed interviewing him about Empire, a fascinating thriller set in 2008 that tells the story of what will happen if the political polarization in America continues to divide this country on the issues. In terms of music, try John Ondrasik's (Five for Fighting) albums. (You can listen to music clips and our interview with him here.) John writes pro-American songs that I find very beautiful and may or may not be your cup of tea. What about Firefly by Tim Minear, who talks here about his work? There is so much more that I do not have room for.
Oh, I think five is plenty, "Doctor." There's no way you just simply ran out of examples. And you don't want to hog the internet when writers like V.D. Hanson, Annie Jacobsen ("Terror In the Skies, Part Eighty-Nine Hundred") and Roger Kimball are starving for electronic space to express themselves.
And now that you've exhausted that topic, you can get back to writing about how all men are p-whipped and white men are always the victim.
Memo to Ron Rosenbaum
Nobody give a shit what bearded git Jeff Jarvis says or thinks or does. He's an irrelevant Michael Malone-ish tosser.
But if you're looking for impotent old old media bashers to bash, you might want to start with this general assembly of assholes.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Rosh On Fraud
Mary-John Rosh-Lott, Jnr. is concerned about phony results in the Minnesota Senate race.
To many, it just seems like too much of a coincidence that Minnesota's one tight race just happens to be the race with the most "corrected" votes by far. But the real travesty will be to start letting election officials divine voter's intent. If you want to discourage people from voting, election fraud is one sure way of doing it.
And if you want to discourage people from taking you seriously, research fraud is one sure way of doing it.
Mary-John, you may remember, is the man who conducted a telephone survey for one of his gun-nut books and then, when questioned, couldn't find any record of the survey data, the persons surveyed or the students who purportedly conducted the survey. Apparently a flood at his office destroyed his computer, his backup data, all of the students who performed the survey and his ability to lie convincingly.
Anyone who would let Mary-John within 500 miles of an ethical or legal issue, let alone one involving fraudlent polling results, is either dumber than a box of Katherine Harris or as dishonest as Fox News.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Du Toit Rockhead City
Via alicublog, I see that Kim du Toit, the Personification of the Right-Wing Male, has hit the wall:
Since the defeat of yesterday, many people have been asking Kim if he will reconsider his decision to stop blogging. We need a break, Kim especially.
...
He's blogged every day for over seven years through the agony of gout and the depression of not being able to contribute to our financial requirements, never missing a day, never failing to respond to email questions about what gun to buy, or requests to help learn to shoot when he was barely able to drive to meet up at the range. It's time for others to step up and allow Kim a chance to sit down.
I hate to kick a guy when he's sitting down. So I'll let this guy do it instead:
Well, I'm not going to quit. Fuck that. One of the characteristics of the non-pussified man (and this should strike fear into the hearts of women and girly-men everywhere) is that he never quits just because the odds seem overwhelming. Omaha Beach, guys.
As far as I can tell from Mrs. du Toit's poorly-written essay, the dTs have financed two lap-band surgeries, a "last hurrah around the world with our kids," a non-refundable vacation and three college tuitions (apparently at private colleges) with $500 month blogging income and a tapped-out IRA, and have wound up $60,000 in debt. Apparently posting photographs of guns and old movie stars isn't the road to riches it once was. But the dTs have got a sound strategy for success which should have them back in the black in no time.
I wish them all the luck in the world.
Update: Julia says it better.
Rearranging Dick Chairs On The Titanic
The Love Boat is making another run, and washed-up matinee idols from the 50s are still the favorite deck chair fillers:
The bad news from USS NR this morning: Both Fred Thompson and Mitt Romney turned down the RNC chair job when I offered it to each this morning. (Aren't you glad to know it's mine to give away?) The good news: Mike Steele seems to be a frontrunner in the hearts of the crowd here.Yes, Lieut. Gov. Steele is the perfect candidate to implement the G.O.P.'s 15 state strategy.
Friday, November 07, 2008
The Kiss II: Kiss the Mitch
Interesting that Holy Joe lackey Marshall "Bullshit Moose" Wittman runs to The Corner to snivel on behalf of his boss:
Just got off the phone with a Lieberman aide, trying to get to the bottom of what's going to happen with Joe Lieberman now that the election is over. There's been a lot of speculation he'll be stripped of his committee assigments.
According to the aide, Lieberman's met with Harry Reid and discussions were very friendly. Reid wanted him to step down from his post as chairman of Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs in exchange for heading a lesser committee. Lieberman reminded Reid of how loyal he's been to the Democrats in myriad of ways despite the obvious disagreements, and indicated that would be unnacceptable. Reid made it clear he would prefer that Lieberman would remain in the Democratic caucus, and Lieberman agreed. Talks are ongoing.
The aide made it clear that the Daily News report that Lieberman "begged" to keep his committee chairmanship is simply not true.
Further, the aide also said that Republican Minority Leader Mitch McConnell has also reached out to Lieberman. Though Lieberman would like to remain in the Democratic caucus, he's keeping his options open and nothing has been decided about his fate in the senate yet.
Wrong again, moosebreath. Joe the Traitor's fate has been decided. You're just waiting to learn what it is.
Thursday, November 06, 2008
The Wasilla Hillbillies Strike Back
The wingnuts are starting their own Civil War, and fighting over who gets to be the Confederacy. But you'd think even the Hillbillies could choose a better leader than Oly Olafson of RedState.
You've got to love this cryptic threat/boast from Oly:
P.S. - Did I ever tell you how RedState was able to stock Gov. Palin's campaign plane with twenty of these?. We were glad to. And we were glad not to mention it at the time. We are rooting for Sarah Palin. Don't make us add you to our list. Do you really want to be next to Kathleen Parker in the leper colony?Yumpin' Yimimy, Oly. You donated 20 friggin' coffee mugs to Sharia Plain's campaign. Anyone with such awesome power and influence is rightly to be feared.
It's not so much a circular firing squad as a circle jerk with shootin' irons.
Update: TBogg has already spotted Oly's mighty mug boast.
P.S. If I sent the Obama/Biden team a set of steak knives, could I call Joe Lieberman a V.D. sufferer?
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Swimmin' Pools, Movie Stars
From Newsweek:
According to two knowledgeable sources, a vast majority of the clothes were bought by a wealthy donor, who was shocked when he got the bill. Palin also used low-level staffers to buy some of the clothes on their credit cards. The McCain campaign found out last week when the aides sought reimbursement. One aide estimated that she spent "tens of thousands" more than the reported $150,000, and that $20,000 to $40,000 went to buy clothes for her husband. Some articles of clothing have apparently been lost. An angry aide characterized the shopping spree as "Wasilla hillbillies looting Neiman Marcus from coast to coast," and said the truth will eventually come out when the Republican Party audits its books.It's going to take a lot more than that to rehabilitate yourself, Johnny Boy.
A Palin aide said: "Governor Palin was not directing staffers to put anything on their personal credit cards, and anything that staffers put on their credit cards has been reimbursed, like an expense. Nasty and false accusations following a defeat say more about the person who made them than they do about Governor Palin."
McCain himself rarely spoke to Palin during the campaign, and aides kept him in the dark about the details of her spending on clothes because they were sure he would be offended. Palin asked to speak along with McCain at his Arizona concession speech Tuesday night, but campaign strategist Steve Schmidt vetoed the request.
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid will likely meet later this week with Joe Lieberman to discuss whether the Democrat-turned-Independent will be stripped of his Senate committee chairmanship, a senior Democratic leadership aide tells CNN.Mr. Speaker, follow the advice of Colin Powell. Cut it off and kill it.
Lieberman currently chairs the Senate's Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee.
This aide says that Reid, who is calling the meeting, has not yet decided what to do.
And then feed it to Marshall Wittman.
James Wolcott speculates about an Obama Boom:
I wonder how many babies are going to be created on this historic night, because it sounds awfully festive out on the Manhattan streets, as if a lot of happy people are going to get busy later to express their joy and perhaps wake up tomorrow morning in a spent daze, one of those Seth Rogen rom-com scenarios.
I suppose that's better than all those broken hips and emergency room treatments for chemically-induced priapism that would follow a McCain win.
From August 5:
If voters approve a November ballot measure banning same-sex marriages in California, thousands of gay and lesbian weddings conducted since the state Supreme Court legalized the unions on May 15 will probably remain valid, Attorney General Jerry Brown said Monday.
The article says the issue will likely come up in the courts.
Biggest, Doughiest Pantload ... Ever
Now that McCain has lost, and Sarah Palin has time to reintroduce herself down the road, the anti-Palin conservatives will almost surely look foolish in retrospect.
Once a moron, always a moron. And that goes for Palin too.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
My Election Story
My polling place is three blocks from where I live. On the walk over, I saw four Obama/Biden signs. Unfortunately, two of the four were in the same yard as two Yes On 8 signs. I got to the polls at 6:56 a.m., and was eighth in line. I was the sixth voter to place my ballots in the machine. When I left there were about 20 voters in line. The number of voters was slightly up from 2004, when I voted at approximately the same time. No one was wearing campaign gear, and no one disclosed their votes on line. An eldery woman with a walker, but not a billy club, urged me and those in the queue to "Vote right," although she seemed too coherent to be a Republican. I neither wet my pants nor blogged hysterically about this outrageous vote tampering, which will certainly invalidate John McCain's claim of legitimacy, should he prevail.