"The Moose may re-emerge at any moment in a new venue."

Where will the Bullshit Moose turn up next?

As chair of Ralph Reed's legal defense fund?

A cross-country trip selling McCain/Lieberman '08 t-shirts out of the back of a panel van?

Chairman of the DLC?

My money's on senior editor at The New Republic, where he'll be assigned to spellcheck Marty Peretz's blog.

Rehab's also a possibility; Iraq and Iran are not.

Over at clownhall.com, Michael "The Oil Companies Are Anti-Semitic" Medved catches Homowood trying to cram gay down his protesting throat once again. When will those radical sodomites stop torturing Mikey's tender tonsils?

As in so many other recent films, there's a subtext that appears to plead for endorsement of gay identity. Mumbles (the voice of Elijah Wood) displeases his parents and the leaders of his community because he's born different, and makes an impassioned plea that he can't possibly change -- and they should accept him as he is.

This from a man who worships fundamentalist spank films.

And you've got to wonder about Medved's attempted play on the film's title: "Crappy Feet." Sounds like Mike's a closet corpophile.

The Pantload is finally about to commence work on his first coloring book, I Heart Hitler:

Help Wanted [Jonah Goldberg]

I'm gonna need a meticulous, smart, diligent intern/assistant type to help me with the house-cleaning on my manuscript. In particular, I need someone to help get my copious footnotes and the like in order. There will also be some serious research-related stuff to do as we head into galley mode. It would be best if he or she -- or conceivably it -- went to school or worked in the DC area so we could meet from time to time. I haven't thought through the money question, but you can be assured it won't be lavish. But what's filthy lucre compared to a glowing mention in the acknowledgements and my eternal gratitude? Anyway, anybody interested in said gig should send an email with appropriate info (resume, experience, dancing ability etc) to JonahResearch@aol.com.

I'm not kidding. The expected publication date of I Heart Hitler has been pushed back from March 20, 2007 to September 11, 2007. (An aniversary tie-in. How tasteful.) The Pantload's publisher was already pimping the slender tome as an all-but-finished product 13 months ago, in October 2005. Most of the folks who pre-ordered this pile have died of old age or stupidity by now.

Friedman Proves Keynes' Theory

Well, at least he avoided another one of those NR cruises.

Ahhhhhhhhhh Waaaaaaaaaaaaa Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu Voooooooooooo

Bush's selection of Memo Mel Martinez to head the RNC is a brilliant stroke. A series of hard-hitting ads featuring Bobby Schindler will ensure that the Republicans recapture Congress in '08.

And Michael Steele can always find some sort of position in the aptly-titled Senate Minority Whip Trent Lott's office.

Hanging Chad

That's what you do with terrorists, right?

A long time ago, somewhere on the internet, I referred to Timmy McVeigh as a Freeper with follow-through. According to reports, we now have Malk-Hata's Number 2 man in federal custody.

According to an FBI affidavit obtained by Radar, Chad Conrad Castagana, who was arrested Monday on suspicion of sending powder-filled envelopes to Keith Olbermann, Jon Stewart, Sumner Redstone, David Letterman, Pelosi, and New York Senator Charles Schumer, purchased a $15 money order made out to "Friends of Katherine Harris" last September at a Woodland Hills, Calif., post office while he was picking up the envelopes and stamps he employed to terrorize the liberal elite.

So hanging Chad would be an execution and a tribute to Katherine Harris, all in one.

Other reports suggest that Chad, aged 39, unemployed and still living in his parents' basement, is a poster to rightwing blogs and an enthusiastic fan of Michelle Malkin. (These things practically write themselves.) The FBI and Department of Homeland Security might want to check out Chad's e-mail and buddy lists while they're searching his computer. Of course, there's no conclusive evidence that Malkin gave financial support to Castagana or helped him come up with his more clever anti-Semetic slurs, but then again there was no evidence that Chaplain James Yee passed information to Muslim prisoners of war or that Joel Henry Hinrichs was a Muslim, so you never know.

It's good to see progress in the war on terror. Of course, Chad is innocent until proven guilty through a confession obtained by waterboarding, preferably performed by our Egyptian allies.