Texass

"One of the attractive things about the president is that he talks Texas," Mr. Bennett continued. "But what broke my heart is when he said, 'I need to be more sophisticated.' What is this, Kerry talk? Is he going to use 'elan' the next time he speaks?"

If anything breaks your heart, Bill, it's gonna be those five cheeseburgers you have for your post-breakfast snack.

Sunday, May 28
Sen. Chuck Hagel, R-NE, & House Judiciary Committee Chairman Rep. James Sensenbrenner, R-WI, on Immigration. Then a roundtable with David Broder, David Ignatius, Kate O'Beirne, Eugene Robinson.

Can't say fairer than that!

Senator Kerry Fights Back

Against the Swift Boat Liars:

"They lied and lied and lied about everything," Mr. Kerry says in an interview in his Senate office. "How many lies do you get to tell before someone calls you a liar? How many times can you be exposed in America today?"

Update: A rhetorical question. How many of those invoking
the presumption of innocence with respect to the November 2005 events in Haditha -- which allegedly involved the shooting of girls aged 1, 3 and 5, among others -- are the same douchebags who feigned outrage in response to the bullshit claim that Senator Kerry shot a fleeing, half-naked Vietnamese teenage boy in the back?

An Atrocity

Representative John Kline, a Minnesota Republican who is a retired Marine colonel, said that the allegations indicated that "this was not an accident. This was direct fire by marines at civilians." He added, "This was not an immediate response to an attack. This would be an atrocity."

Kind of like dropping thousands of bombs among civilians, but less telegenic.

Media Stories Howard Kurtz Can't Be Bothered With, Part The First

Whaddya waitin' for, Howie, a call from Karl Rove's publicist?

The Spew From Sully's Window

You can tell a lot about an idiot from the witlessness of his blog posts. Today, Sully quotes the following Q & A (from Crazy Davy's e-rag) with free market blow-up doll John Stossel:

Q: That puts you at odds with both liberals and conservatives. Which side hates you or dislikes you more -- liberals or conservatives? You are in favor of legalizing drugs, you're not against abortion -- things like that would annoy conservatives. But you're also in favor of free-market solutions to just about everything, from schools to buses.

STOSSEL: I think homosexuality is all right. And yet the conservatives will pay me a $40,000 speaking fee -- which goes to charity, by the way -- and invite me to their events and have me on their shows. But the liberals will have nothing to do with me.

Sully then pipes up:

You can tell a lot about a movement by whether it is mainly interested in finding converts or heretics. Neither side is blameless in this; but the lefties would be more convincing in their appeals for tolerance if they engaged in more of it themselves.

Gee, Sully, did you ever consider that "lefties" might take Stossel's self-promotion more seriously if he applied his purported myth-busting skills to, say, debunking Bill Bennett's statistical lies about the life expectancy of gay men, or bogus claims linking abortion to breast cancer (or about the risks of RU-486), or the Office of Drug Control Policy's scare tactics regarding marijuana? Somehow The Stosser and 20/20 never find the time to bust such fascist fairy tales.

As for the relative merits of the liberal and conservative "movements," I'd say you can tell a lot more about a movement by whether it's stupid enough to pay $40,000 to hear a speech by a journalistic fraud.

The New York Times has published National Review's list of Top 50 Right-Wing Rock Songs. Since the list will disappear behind the Times' pay wall in a day or two, I'll reproduce it here, without John J. Miller's insipid commentary (which can be summarized as: only economic libertarians and social fascists are conservatives):

1. "Won't Get Fooled Again," by The Who
2. "Taxman," by The Beatles
3. "Sympathy for the Devil," by The Rolling Stones
4. "Sweet Home Alabama," by Lynyrd Skynyrd
5. "Wouldn't It Be Nice," by The Beach Boys
6. "Gloria," by U2
7. "Revolution," by The Beatles
8. "Bodies," by The Sex Pistols
9. "Don't Tread on Me," by Metallica
10. "20th Century Man," by The Kinks
11. "The Trees," by Rush
12. "Neighborhood Bully," by Bob Dylan
13. "My City Was Gone," by The Pretenders
14. "Right Here, Right Now," by Jesus Jones
15. "I Fought the Law," by The Crickets
16. "Get Over It," by The Eagles
17. "Stay Together for the Kids," by Blink 182
18. "Cult of Personality," by Living Colour
19. "Kicks," by Paul Revere and the Raiders
20. "Rock the Casbah," by The Clash
21. "Heroes," by David Bowie
22. "Red Barchetta," by Rush
23. "Brick," by Ben Folds Five
24. "Der Kommissar," by After the Fire
26. "Capitalism," by Oingo Boingo
27. "Obvious Song," by Joe Jackson
28. "Janie's Got a Gun," by Aerosmith
29. "Rime of the Ancient Mariner," by Iron Maiden
30. "You Can't Be Too Strong," by Graham Parker
32. "Keep Your Hands to Yourself," by The Georgia Satellites
33. "You Can't Always Get What You Want," by The Rolling Stones
34. "Godzilla," by Blue Oyster Cult
35. "Who'll Stop the Rain," by Creedence Clearwater Revival
36. "Government Cheese," by The Rainmakers
37. "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down," by The Band
38. "I Can't Drive 55," by Sammy Hagar
39. "Property Line," by The Marshall Tucker Band
40. "Wake Up Little Susie," by The Everly Brothers
41. "The Icicle Melts," by The Cranberries
42. "Everybody's a Victim," by The Proclaimers
43. "Wonderful," by Everclear
44. "Two Sisters," by The Kinks
45. "Taxman, Mr. Thief," by Cheap Trick
46. "Wind of Change," by The Scorpions
47. "One," by Creed*
48. "Why Don't You Get a Job," by The Offspring
49. "Abortion," by Kid Rock*
50. "Stand By Your Man," by Tammy Wynette (or Motorhead)

John Derbyshire's top choices, "Fiddle About" and "Aqualung," placed at 51 and 52.

Votes for "Idiot Son of An Asshole" were not counted out of consideration for Jonah Goldberg, John Podhoretz and Chris Buckley.

Update (5/26): The Rude Pundit digs deeper.

* I hear Miller has a complete collection of Scott Stapp and Kid Rock's videos too.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Oh, Kenny Boy Edition

(To be sung in a heavily slurred "they've stolen me Lucky Charms" accent, or by Frank McCourt)

Oh Kenny Boy, the jury foreman's calling
Bush Pioneer, on trial and out on bail
The verdict's in; it says that you were lying
'Tis you, 'tis you must go and rot in jail

Six counts of fraud, six guilty verdicts
Your credibility less than Tony Snow's
Be sure to make new friends in the slammer
Oh Kenny Boy, convict, ex-CEO

And Bush will swear he doesn't know you
Those hundred thousands will not set you free
Your face time with Cheney all forgotten
'Cause Dick needs his own immunity

Your victims remain uncompensated
Your sentence will a hollow victory be
But forty years locked up with Jeffrey Skilling
Sounds a lot like life in hell to me

Dick Under Oath

The Associated Press is reporting that the prosecution intends to call Dicky Ticker Cheney as a witness in I. Lewis Libby perjury trial.

WASHINGTON - Vice President Dick Cheney could be called to testify in the perjury case against his former chief of staff, a special prosecutor said in a court filing Wednesday.

Special Counsel Patrick Fitzgerald suggested Cheney would be a logical government witness because he could authenticate notes he jotted on a July 6, 2003, New York Times opinion piece by a former U.S. ambassador critical of the Iraq war.

Fitzgerald said Cheney's "state of mind" is "directly relevant" to whether I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, the vice president's former top aide, lied to FBI agents and a federal grand jury about how he learned about CIA officer Valerie Plame's identity and what he subsequently told reporters.

I'd bet Dead Hand Dick can do a lot more than authenticate his own handwriting.

In a filing last week, Libby's lawyers said Fitzgerald would not call Cheney as a witness and would have a hard time getting the vice president's notes admitted into evidence.

I assume it would be fairly easy to get Dirty Dick's jottings into evidence without hauling his sour puss into court, but he'd be needed to supply other information, such as when the notes were made or (if disputed) what they meant. I'm guessing that the prosecution had planned to call Dick long before Libby's lawyers taunted the prosecution. I'd also guess the defense wants Dick to testify, mainly regarding matters of no relevance to the perjury charge. And I'm certain the witness stand is the last place that Dick wants to be.

Not Now, Howie

Howie Kurtz, Time Lord, seeks to cover his own shoddy reporting by manipulating the timeline:

"Wrong About Rove?

"By Howard Kurtz
Washington Post Staff Writer
Tuesday, May 23, 2006; 7:54 AM

"I reported yesterday (and if you missed it, start paying attention!) that the liberal Web site Truthout.org was standing by its claim that Karl Rove had been secretly indicted in the CIA leak case, despite strong denials by the White House aide's lawyer and spokesman.

"Why the Rove team would lie about information that, if true, was certain to come out soon was never quite clear. More than three dozen mainstream journalists checked on the Truthout report but could not confirm a word of it.

"Now Truthout has backed off, at least partially, from the story by reporter Jason Leopold, who has had some credibility problems in the past (as he acknowledges in a new book) but has also worked for such news outlets as the L.A. Times and Dow Jones.

"Marc Ash , the site's founder, writes: ...." (Emphasis added; link in original)

And the last thing you should want is readers who pay attention to what you write.

Loon Letters In The Sand

On yesterday's Your World with Neil Cavuto, The Eldery Git in the White Buck Shoes revealed that the terrorists' WMD of choice isn't suitcase nukes, it's the new Dixie Chicks CD:

Boone, who is also a columnist for WorldNetDaily, says what seemed like a momentary misstep by Maines now begins to look like a flaw in her character.

"If I were the president of Iran, if I were Osama bin Laden or any of the terrorist organizers and I could have my wish list totally," Boone said, "I couldn't ask for anything better than for America's entertainers to bash their president, denigrate him, make him seem like an idiot and a self-serving fool, and then have the media go along with it and promote it like crazy and try to undermine the whole war effort."

He continued, "We are at war, and you don't tell even a quarterback in a football game that he's nuts and you don't respect him. You try to pull for a win, and that's what we should be trying to do. ... You can disagree. You can express your disagreement, but don't attack the man who is your elected leader and say he's not owed any respect at all."

Charlie Daniels couldn't have said it more incoherently.

Don't Believe The Hype

The book sold over a half-million copies. Fans waited hours at signings. But it was the 60,000 people who sent letters and emails that opened Russert's eyes.

"People saw the book as an invitation to talk about their dad," he said. "They would say to me, 'You know, it was great learning about Big Russ. He's your guy. Let me tell you about Big Mike. Let me tell you about Big Irv. Let me tell you about Big Marty.' And they all had a story."

So Russert decided to publish the best stories in a second book: "Wisdom of Our Fathers -- Lessons and Letters from Daughters and Sons."

As Pumpkinhead himself tells it,

I didn't think I would write another book. But when I read the letters I received from readers, I realized I had no choice.

I received close to sixty thousand letters and e-emails, and I read them all.

Don't believe the hype. Here's what Tiny Tim said fourteen months ago:

Dear Reader,

Two years ago, I wrote a book about my father: Big Russ and Me: Father and Son, Lessons of Life. I have now decided to put together a new book in which a wide variety of sons and daughters will have a chance to write about their fathers. I would like to invite you to be part of this exciting new project, and to spread the word among your friends.

What am I looking for? Stories, lessons, advice or even a favorite saying that made your father special. Feel free to send me a vivid memory, a funny anecdote, or the story of your father's special accomplishment. Maybe he taught you an important lesson -- either with words or by example -- about work, love, kindness, friendship, integrity, faith, or anything else. You could also send me a letter of appreciation that you sent to your father, or a letter you wish you had written. It can even be a eulogy -- or anything else that seems appropriate. What I really care about is that you wrote it.

....I'm not looking for professional writing, but for stories and lessons that useful [sic], original, moving, inspiring, or just plain funny.

...

It would be easiest if you sent me an e-mail letter at MyDad@BigRussandMe.com in the form of a double-spaced Word document that comes as an attachment, but if you'd rather mail it the old-fashioned way, that's fine, too.

There will be no payment if your letter is used. Instead, I will be making a contribution to The Boys and Girls Club in the name of all the contributors. If I am able to use your letter, I will also be sending you an autographed copy of the book, which is scheduled for Father's Day, 2006....

Many thanks,

Tim Russert

So the outpouring was a wee bit less spontaneous than Tiny Tim would like you to think. At the time Tim already had his book planned (down to the publication date), he didn't have enough spontaneous correspondence to fill a slender volume.

Let's put another quote up on the screen:

I had expected that my book would appeal to readers in my home town of Buffalo, New York, but I didn't know whether the story of a young man coming of age in a blue-collar Irish-Catholic neighborhood, whose father was a truck driver and a sanitation man, would strike a cord [sic] with a wider audience. As soon as I discovered there were many Big Russes out there -- good, industrious, and patriotic men who has [sic] a lot in common with my dad, even if they didn't share his religion or his heritage. [sic] By writing a book about my father, I was affirming not only his life, but the lives of many other fathers as well.

I realized early on that the book was resonating far beyond what I had anticipated. Without intending to, I had given many readers an opportunity -- an invitation, really, to talk about their fathers. They had listened to my story, and now I was listening to theirs.

Didn't know? Unanticipated? Unintended invitation?!?

But didn't you tell Howie the Putz:

And that is essential to understanding why I ask what I ask and why I do what I do, and that this guy called Big Russ has been central to my life and that there are a lot of Big Russes in the country. And I think we're going to find out a whole lot more about that after this book comes out [this month].

Who knew America was full of people who think their fathers are good, industrious and patriotic men? Not Tim!

Faux ignorance is not your strong suit, Timmy.

Nor is writing.

I don't usually ask for research assistance from readers, but if someone could send me a copy of Pumpkinhead's book contracts in the form of a double-spaced Word document that comes as an attachment....

Excuse Them While They Piss Their Pants

From SodBusters:

Is Google Purging Conservative News Sites?

Posted by Noel Sheppard on May 22, 2006 - 09:37.

Something frighteningly ominous has been happening on the Internet lately: Google, without any prior explanation or notice, has been terminating its News relationship with conservative e-zines and web journals.

Not exactly Saw 2 as horror stories go. Next to this bit of tedious whinging is a depiction of the Google News logo with a menstrual red slash through it and the word "CENSORED" underneath in red letters.

The post goes on to assert that a bunch of rightwing sites whose ratio of half-witted bile to news is 10,000:1 have been determined by Google to be hate sites, and thus are no longer linked to by Google News. The Bad Sheppard ends with this soggy spot of chinless whimpering:

Moreover, to new media providers like e-zines and web journals, referrals from Google News can comprise 20 percent or more of their unique reads in a given day, which is the bread and butter for determining current and future ad revenue.

With that in mind, how much power does a company that disseminates almost half of the country's word search results command over the opinions of our growing population, and what protections exist against abuses of such overreaching power?

How does such a company put itself in the position of grand arbiter over what is and what is not "hate speech," or content otherwise objectionable?

Now here's the punchline:

Noel Sheppard is an economist, business owner, and a featured writer at the prestigious American Thinker. He is also a contributing writer to the Free Market Project and a contributing editor for NewsBusters. He welcomes your feedback at nsheppard@costlogic.com.

Pumpkinhead For The Prosecution

This article suggests that Tim Russert will be a key prosecution witness in the Government's case against Scooter Libby.

"I was very clear to say reporters are telling us that because in my mind I still didn't know it as a fact. I thought I was -- all I had was this information was coming in from reporters," Libby told the grand jury, according to the indictment.

The indictment said Russert never disclosed anything about Plame in his conversation with Libby. Instead, prosecutors say, Libby learned about Plame's CIA employment in June 2003 from Cheney, Undersecretary of State Marc Grossman and at least one senior CIA official, according to court papers.

At last week's court argument on pretrial motions, Fitzgerald said Libby had a "motive to lie" to the grand jury. By "attributing to a reporter" his information about Plame's CIA status and emphasizing that he was "passing on" scuttlebutt but "didn't know if it were true," the prosecutor said, Libby in his testimony was deliberately casting his actions as "a non-crime" in a way that "looks much more innocent than passing on what you know to be classified."

It would be most amusing if the White House's go-to-guy for the Sunday shows rolled over on Libby.

Ass of Base

In the Washington Post, Dick Vig says that conservatives were responsible for electing every President in the last 50-plus years, and that every Republican president/presidential candidate who lost in that period lost because he wasn't wingnutty enough:

In 1948, conservatives were unhappy with Thomas E. Dewey's liberal Republican "me too" campaign, and enough of them stayed home to give the election to Harry S. Truman. In 1960, conservatives were unhappy with Richard M. Nixon's negotiations with Nelson A. Rockefeller to divide the spoils of victory before victory was even achieved, and John F. Kennedy won.

...

In 1974, conservatives were unhappy with the corruption and Big Government policies of Nixon's White House and with President Gerald R. Ford's selection of Rockefeller as his vice president, and this led to major Republican losses in the congressional races that year. By 1976, conservatives were fed up with Ford's adoption of Rockefeller's agenda, and Jimmy Carter was elected with the backing of Christian conservatives.

In 1992, conservatives were so unhappy with President George H.W. Bush's open disdain for them that they staged an open rebellion, first with the candidacy of Patrick J. Buchanan and then with Ross Perot. The result was an incumbent president receiving a paltry 37 percent of the vote. In 1998, conservatives were demoralized by congressional Republicans' wild spending and their backing away from conservative ideas. The result was an unexpected loss of seats in the House and the resignation of Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-Ga.).

You're losing your touch, Dick. You forgot how Barry Goldwater sold out true Republican priniciples, and don't have the balls to mention that true conservative hero, George Wallace.