Birthday Wishes

Michael Crowley claims that John McCain didn't mention his 71st birthday, which was yesterday, on his website. (The website does mention McCain's year and date of birth in the "McCain Timeline," above of photo of him in an circa 1936 infant dress.)

But Saint John did mention it in at least two fundraising e-mails, ones ostensibly written by McCain's replacement wife, Cindy, and his 95 year-old mother, Roberta. The pitch was to contribute either $71 or $142 (or more!) to the Straight Talker in honor of his 71st birthday. Contributors also got the honor of "signing" an electronic birthday card to the aged Republican.

I didn't send the dough, of course. By so doing, I did get McCain what he really needs for his birthday -- an excuse to get out of the race.

Morass? We've Got All The Ass We Can Handle!

With President Bush hobbled by his own political difficulties, the party can hardly look to him to lead them out of the morass. "If we had a coach," said John Feehery, who was press secretary to Representative J. Dennis Hastert when Mr. Hastert was the House speaker, "the coach would take us in the locker room and scream at us."

Or at least make sure our wrestling singlets aren't riding up too much, and that our palms are nice and greasy.

When Libertarians Attempt Comedy

The set up:

Last night I was trying to explain the relative intellectual standings of various presidential economic advisors to a former philosophy student. This led me to try to compare various CEA heads to their equivalents in philosophic eminence, which didn't go very well since I don't actually know anything about philosophy.

It did, however, lead to a hilarious session in which we tried to imagine a Presidential Philosophy Advisor...

TBogg has nothing to worry about.

Update: The libertarian sense of humour (sic) doesn't include the ability to laugh at yourself. 10 of the 12 comments in the above link have been deleted for being off topic, or referring to an off topic comment. And don't even think about wishing someone had a chronic disease. It's not funny, dagnabit, and I can recognize teh funny!

The Memory Hole

Senator Larry Craig may not be gay, but he's definitely a moron (warning: wingnut site):

"There will come a day when there will not be a George W in the White House," Sen. Craig warned, after calling top conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh on Wednesday [in December 2005] to explain his position. "And tragically enough, and I hope never, it could be a Hillary Clinton."

Craig wondered aloud: "Who will be her attorney general, and what might he or she do to your liberties and mine? There's the question."

The Idaho Republican told Limbaugh: "You know, I've been here a little while, and I remember Janet Reno, and I remember Waco and Ruby Ridge."

"And I fear the day that we get a president, not this president, who has a very liberal attorney general and sees the opportunity, to leap through the holes that are crafted in the Patriot Act, that could tread on our civil liberties."

Ruby Ridge is, of course, in Idaho.

Craig's got a great future as a right wing blogger.

(Link via Reason Hit & Run.)

Welcome to the 2008 Republican National Conventon

Visitors to Minneapolis-St. Paul will be welcomed to the 2008 G.O.P. Convention by prominent signage throughout the airport:

Meanwhile, fellow Romnoid Hugh "Jass" Hewitt demands Senator Craig's resignation: "But even if I did believe him [Craig], this would make his judgment too flawed to be in the United States Senate in a time of war. He has to go."

And he's not talking about Iraq, folks!

Short List

Via e-mail, Richard "Dickie the Vig" Viguerie has a short list of replacements for future convict Abu Gonzales:

Chris Cox
Miguel Estrada
Jim Gilmore
Edith Jones
Ed Meese
Ted Olson
Priscilla Owen
Charles W. Pickering, Sr.
William H. Pryor Jr.
Rick Santorum

What, you were expecting Bruce Fein?

My list is a little different:

David Iglesias
Carol Lam
Kevin Ryan
John McKay
Paul Charlton
Daniel Bogden
Margaret Chiara
Todd Graves
Bud Cummins

Whether or not any of these individuals are qualified for the position is open to debate. Whether Abu or any of the people on Dickie the Vig's list are is not.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Craig's Lust Edition

Mitt Romney supporter and Idaho Senator Larry Craig is the latest Republican family man accused of soliciting sex in a men's room, despite pleading guilty to a disorderly conduct charge. Senator Craig claims saying that he was simply scared of several large Norweigian flight attendants in the vicinity of the crapper:

WASHINGTON, Aug. 27 — Senator Larry E. Craig, Republican of Idaho, pleaded guilty to a disorderly conduct charge earlier this month after his arrest in June by an undercover police officer in a men's bathroom at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport.

A second charge of interference with privacy against the 62-year-old senator was dismissed. Mr. Craig was fined more than $500 at the Aug. 8 proceedings and was placed on unsupervised probation for one year. His 10-day jail sentence was suspended, according to a copy of a court document in the case.

According to a police report obtained by Roll Call, the Capitol Hill newspaper that disclosed the episode and guilty plea today, a plainclothes police officer investigating complaints of sexual activity in the bathroom arrested the senator on June 11 after what the officer described as sexual advances made by Mr. Craig from an adjoining stall.

Roll Call reported that the officer said Mr. Craig tapped his foot as a signal to engage in lewd conduct, brushed his foot against the investigator's and waved his hand under the stall divider several times before the officer showed him his badge. After his arrest, the senator denied any sexual intent and in a statement issued this afternoon he attributed the matter to a misunderstanding.

Later the same day, Senator David Vitter (R-LA) was arrested in the same bathroom, charged with unauthorized use of a changing table.

The Republican Party is now the T Party.

Giving Roger A Bad Name

While I was away on whatever I was away on, G.O.P. mastermind Roger Stone reared his ugly little head again. Over a decade ago, Roger and his wife went cruising for partners in swingers' magazines:

And in 1996 he was forced to quit the Robert Dole presidential campaign after provocative photos of him and his wife appeared in "swinger" magazines.

The fact that the ads were paid for with his credit card undercut his denials that he had nothing to do with placing them.

That was back in the day, before the internet revolutionized group sex.

Roger next surfaced underneath James Baker, during the 2000 Presidential election recount, where the Republican vote total was as artificially inflated as Roger's endowment in his swinger's mag advertisements.

Currently, Stone, a friend of family man Rudy Guilani, was earning 20K a month working for New York State Senate Republicans, until he got fired for making a harassing phone call to the 83 year old father of N.Y. Governor Eliot Spitzer. Stone's current defense?

On Thursday, Stone offered yet another explanation: The call, he said, was made by a former stand-up comedian and master impressionist named Randy Credico.

"He's been on Letterman, he's been on Leno," says Stone. "He does an incredible [former senator Alfonse] D'Amato. He has made phone calls as me and the people he was calling thought it was me."

...

It's a tangled tale, but the upshot, Stone says, is this: "Credico became convinced that he should get paid for introducing me to Sharpton." He refused to do so, Stone continues, because, well, Credico is a cocaine addict and Stone knew that any money he gave the guy would "go up his nose."

A victim of circumstance, eh? Because that sounds a lot like Stone's defense to the swinger story:

An exhaustive investigation now indicates that a domestic employee who I discharged for substance abuse on the second time that we learned that he had a drug problem is the perpetrator who had access to my home, access to my computer, access to my password, access to my postage meter, access to my post-office box key.

How the domestic got the photo of Roger posing in a towel, well, that's another cock and bull story, I'm sure.

Shorter Aynl Rand

"If only we could torture people while they're in MRIs, all our problems would be solved!"

And just think of the profits for General Electric.

Jaysus. What the hell happened to The Atlantic?

Sully Joe, Douchehat and now this?

Cancel my non-existent subscription.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Dicktatorships and Double Entendres Edition

Our Republican friend Bob Blolaw Allen continues to manfully beat off charges that he'll pay for play. His latest claim is that he's a victim of a totalitarian police state:

Hours after state Rep. Bob Allen was unceremoniously stripped of his legislative-committee appointments Wednesday, he said he is perhaps "the most misunderstood guy on Earth."

In the weeks since his arrest July 11 on a charge that he offered to perform oral sex on an undercover police officer and pay him $20, he has made comments that offended two of Florida's largest minority groups -- Hispanics and blacks.

On Wednesday, he told newspapers he felt he was being considered guilty even before his first court date -- as would happen in a totalitarian government such as Cuba. Allen, R-Merritt Island, spent part of the day explaining he wasn't comparing House Speaker Marco Rubio, who made the committee assignments and is Cuban-American, to Cuban dictator Fidel Castro.

"Never was I trying to ever say Marco is the new Fidel. That's the most insulting thing you can tell anyone in Miami," Allen said. "I would have used North Korea if I thought more."

If you thought more, Bobby, you wouldn't be cruising with cash in the crapper.

Stripped of his legislative appointments. Man, that sucks.

In this case, the totalitarian regime is controlled by Republicans Charlie Crist ("the People's Governor!") and Rubio. Perhaps Allen and his fellow tearoom exiles should solicit CIA funding, overthrow the state and reinstall Jeb! as Presidente for Life.

Book It

At my local library, if you read 10 books over the summer, you get a free book, a discount coupon for pizza, some temporary tattoos and an inflatable penguin. You also have be under twelve to participate.

Don't tell George Bush. Bush was in a reading contest with Karl Rove last year, and he claims to have read a 110 books last year. The year before that, in 2005, Bush claimed he was reading 20 to 30 pages on a "good night." Assuming 30 pages a day for 365 days, Bush's books would have to average 100 pages for Bush to make it through 110 books in a year. An 800-page book would take him approximately 27 days to read at 30 ppd.

Truly Tasteless Jokes is 128 pages. For One More Day by Mitch Albom clocks in at 208. The Pimp Game: Instructional Guide is 97 pages. What the hell was Bush reading, Mad Libs? (Not these volumes, I'm guessing.)

The wingnuts used to claim that Bill Clinton's alleged cheating at golf spoke volumes about his character. Bush's pretend love of books would speak to his character, if only he had any.

Correction: On review, it seems Bush only claims to have read 94 books; Rove claims to have read 110. I'm still not buying it.

Wingnutpedia

HTML Mencken has the authoritative post on National Review girly-boy Rich Lowry.

Cheap Date

There's nothing a waiter or waitress hates more than a couple of addlepated geriatrics parking their tight asses in some prime real estate and nursing their free refills for a couple of hours:

When Fred Thompson makes his long-delayed entrance into the Republican presidential race, he will not tiptoe quietly. Instead, he will try to shake up the establishment candidates of both parties by depicting a nation in peril from fiscal and security threats -- and prescribing tough cures that he says others shrink from offering.

In a two-hour conversation over coffee at a restaurant near his Virginia headquarters, the former senator from Tennessee said that when he joins the battle next month, he "will take some risks that others are not willing to take, in terms of forcing a dialogue on our entitlement situation, our military situation and what it's going to cost" to ensure the nation's future.

I'm sure the two geezers left a buck fifty tip, expensed it, and congratulated themselves on leaving more than 20 percent.

But the real cheap date here is David Broder, who fills an entire column praising Huckleberry Fred without asking what tough cures Fred is actually proposing. "Forcing a dialogue" isn't a solution to anything; nor is road-testing empty rhetoric on a doddering establishmentarian. If the cracker's got cures, he should either spell them out ("p-r-i-v...") or stop posing.

Added: Broder, who pretends to be a reporter, claims that Huckleberry spent "most of the past few years on TV's 'Law and Order,' and starting a new family, with two children under 4." Of course, Fred spent a considerable amount of time in 2004-2006 in D.C., lobbying Congress on behalf of a reinsurance company which was trying to weasel out of paying asbestos claims. And collecting three-quarters of a million in the process. Perhaps Broder was too overwhelmed by Fred's man-scent to ask him about that risk-avoiding enterprise.

There are some things worse than death. If you've ever spent an evening with Marty Peretz, I'm sure you know what I mean.

Marty "The Wedding Singer" Peretz drops -- and fumbles -- some names while shopping for luggage in Paris:

I'm a Left Banker, the 6th to be precise. I recall some thirty-odd years ago suggesting to Woody Allen (and Diane Keaton) that we eat at some restaurant on this side of the river. (He was filming "Love and War" then.) And he said, "I never eat on the Left Bank. I once found a cockroach in the bath at the Pont-Royal." Ah, the travails of a Manhattanite. I won't tell you about our picking him and Diane up at their hotel (Plaza Athenee, as I recall) and going to the restaurant (Vivarois, then new to three fork cohort), in a Rolls Royce (his), except that Ed Zwick, fresh out of Harvard and a summer as a TNR intern, was with us. Working with Allen was his apprenticeship.

Marty, the Ugly American, also writes about how North African Muslims have ruined France, and cracks wise about John Edwards' hairdresser. Another 20 years of not subscribing to The New Republic and perhaps I'll be able to tour the Continent with my very own intern.

The Fairness Doctrine

Good news for disgraced plagiarist Mike Barnicle, Joe "Civility" Lieberman and boner-nosed mascot Howie Kurtz. The Beltway's favorite cracker and his pale male salon may be returning to the airwaves.

Some are predicting that the racist Imus will land at WABC, flagship station of radio racism and home of such klanjockeys as Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity.

It's nice to see that all shades of white bigotry are again welcome on our airwaves, just to keep our Beltway betters from becoming bored.

Cash Call

An e-mail in which John McCain mistakes me for an ATM:

Dear Roger,

Branch Rickey's decision to integrate the Brooklyn Dodgers. Ronald Reagan's prediction that the Soviet Union would fall. Gertrude Ederle's decision to swim the English Channel. Abraham Lincoln's decision to issue the Emancipation Proclamation.

These people all faced difficult decisions, or "hard calls," during their lives which are discussed in the latest book by John McCain being released today - Hard Call. Throughout John McCain's life, he has made many difficult decisions. Guided by his belief that at some point we will all be faced with difficult choices, John McCain has taken the time to reflect on the art of decision making, something that can make the difference in arriving at the right decision. Inspired by the decision-making process he personally goes through on a daily basis, he is releasing his latest book, Hard Call.

We have a special offer today for the Senator's most dedicated supporters. With your generous contribution of $250 or more, we will send you an exclusive autographed copy of Hard Call.

With a donation of $1,000 or more today, we'll send you the complete McCain book collection - all autographed by John McCain! You'll receive Hard Call, Character is Destiny, Why Courage Matters, Faith of My Fathers and Worth the Fighting For.

...

Our next Commander-in-Chief will need to make hard calls every day, and it is important to elect a man who has the experience and guts to make hard calls. We encourage each and every one of you to pick up a copy of Hard Call to read, learn, get inspired and join the discussion.

Sincerely,
The John McCain 2008 Team

John McCain's opposition to a holiday honoring a leading desegregationist, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

John McCain's meetings with the chair of the Federal Home Loan Bank Board to protect his criminal benefactor, Charles Keating.

John McCain issuing misrepresentations about the safety of Iraqis in Baghdad, in furtherance of immoral and bloody occupation.

John McCain's pandering to Jerry Falwell and other bigots of faith.

Will I be sending Saint John any money? That's not a hard call.

When To Stop Reading

"Paul Mirengoff has an interesting assessment of why the Tommy Thompson campaign failed."

Most people would stop at "Mirengoff" or, at the latest, "interesting," but you don't get the full comedic potential if you stop before the period.

By the way, Tossingoff's interesting assessment is that voters took a pass on Tommy T. because of his lack of charisma and "the discounting of, and indeed near-contempt for, experience gained in Washington." Of course, the Republican base hates the Department of Health and Human Services almost as much as it hates women and the non-white. And being called uncharismatic by the Tosser is like being called a sleazebag by Newt Gingrich or a delusional nutcase by Debbie Schlussel.

Turd Blossom Cuts-And-Runs

Karl Rove is leaving the White House to spend more time with Jeff Gannon his defense lawyers.

The architect of the most incompetent and corrupt Presidential administration in 100-plus years has completed his desecration of the White House, and plans to put his name on a book after his departure. The book will come out September 1, 2007, having already been written by the staff of the Washington Post.

A Bit Under The Weather

Tommy Thompson lousy, not Merv Griffin lousy.

Back soon.

Danny Boy

In today's Washington Post, Charles Krauthammer sneers at 24 year-old Army private Scott Thomas Beauchamp for serving in Iraq while having ambition or getting his facts wrong or pissing on George and Dick's Excellent Adventure, or something. He really hasn't settled on one point just yet.

Krauthammer pegs Beauchamp as a tool of the anti-war left, oblivious -- and perhaps willfully so -- of the fact that Beauchamp also wrote -- and TNR published -- an account in which members of a Shiite militia allegedly brutalized a young Iraqi boy who expressed pro-American sentiment.

Regardless of his questioned veracity, however, Private Beauchamp is fighting the terrorists over there so we don't have to fight them over here, as Krauthammer would have it. Which puts him in a different league than another young American, a self-proclaimed neocon, failed blogger and Harvard senior. Unlike Charles' pop-psychological caricature of Beauchamp, Daniel Krauthammer knows what he thinks about evil, and he's not afraid to stand up to it and call it names:

And on foreign policy, the area I think this is pattern is the clearest and most important, it takes strength to achieve peace. The great conflicts we faced with fascism and nazism were not won with peace talks or compromise or appeasement. They were won by standing up to evil, calling it by its name and fighting it until victory.

Sure, Danny Boy may act timorous when facing the gruesome realities of watching his father accept an award, but he'll fight Islamojihadofascism to the death or until he gets bored after eight blog posts, whichever comes first.

And when Danny recalls getting together with his buddies for chow, he'll certainly never forget which country he's in.

There's now a vacancy in the Baghdad Diarist position. Charles should encourage Danny to fill it, so the young non-appeaser can call evil by name and stand up to it while giving us the rosy scenario the anti-war left doesn't want us to learn. I might even subscribe to The New Republic to read that.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Long Island's Most Wanted Edition

Sadly, No! has the story of a post-9/11 G.O.P. supporter whose business and home were raided in connection with the investigation of a cop-killing.

If you only click on one link this year -- click on the link to Sadly, No!

And kudos to the New York Post for covering the story. I guess the liberal media is too cowed by Muslim extremists to report on this lawlessness.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Deja Vu All Over Again Edition

When I came across a story of a 30-something Young Republican leader from the Midwest sexually assaulting an incapacitated 22 year old, I thought I had already blogged that story a little over a week ago.

Turns out the story involves a different 30-something Young Republican leader from the Midwest who allegedly sexually assaulted an incapacitated 22 year old. Here's the story, as reported by an Indiana newspaper:

The chairman of the Clark County Republican Party, who last month was elected president of the Young Republican National Federation, has resigned both posts, apparently in the wake of a criminal investigation.

On Tuesday, Glenn Murphy Jr. e-mailed media a letter announcing his resignation from both positions, citing an unexpected business opportunity that would prohibit him from holding a partisan political office.

However, on Friday the Clark County Sheriff’s Department began investigating Murphy for alleged criminal deviate conduct — potentially a class B felony — after speaking with a 22-year-old man who claims that on July 31, Murphy performed an unwanted sex act on him while the man slept in a relative's Jeffersonville home.

Murphy, a 33-year-old Utica resident, has not been arrested nor has he been charged with a crime. Such police reports are generally confidential, but a copy of it has been posted on a politically focused Internet site and another was provided to a reporter with The Evening News and The Tribune on Tuesday evening.

Larry Wilder, Murphy's attorney, said Murphy is cooperating with police and Prosecutor Steve Stewart. Wilder said Murphy contends the sex act was consensual.

It's hard to keep track of these Young Republican leaders without a police lineup.

The main differences between Young Republican Flory and Young Republican Murphy are that Murphy hasn't entered a guilty plea and his alleged victim is a man. The latter fact, of course, should have no bearing on the punishment if Murphy is convicted.

A week ago, the "Team Murphy" website was celebrating Glenn's nomination to head the Young Republicans. Now, the website has gone silent. (The remainder Team Murphy seems to have survived Glenn's departure.)

Interestingly, Murphy's explanation for his departure was that he landed a political consulting opportunity which didn't allow him to be a partisan. It was as a political consultant that Glenn advised, "Remaining in control of both identity and message were the keys to an effective paid media campaign." Spin doctor, heal thyself.

As always, Republicans -- like all Americans -- are innocent until proven guilty.

Update (8/8): Other similarities to the Flory case, according to the police report (found here): The alleged assault took place at a Young Republican party at which alcohol was served and the complainant became intoxicated.

Similar allegations were made against Murphy nine years ago. Murphy's attorney says no action was taken on that occassion.

Also: In an abundance of caution, please note that the subject of this post is not the Glenn Murphy who was named the new chairman of Gap, Inc., and is a Canadian.

Open Arms

If an armed society is a polite society, Iraq should change its name to David-Fucking-Brodeeristan:

The Pentagon has lost track of about 190,000 AK-47 assault rifles and pistols given to Iraqi security forces in 2004 and 2005, according to a new government report, raising fears that some of those weapons have fallen into the hands of insurgents fighting U.S. forces in Iraq.

The author of the report from the Government Accountability Office says U.S. military officials do not know what happened to 30 percent of the weapons the United States distributed to Iraqi forces from 2004 through early this year as part of an effort to train and equip the troops. The highest previous estimate of unaccounted-for weapons was 14,000, in a report issued last year by the inspector general for Iraq reconstruction.

The United States has spent $19.2 billion trying to develop Iraqi security forces since 2003, the GAO said, including at least $2.8 billion to buy and deliver equipment. But the GAO said weapons distribution was haphazard and rushed and failed to follow established procedures, particularly from 2004 to 2005, when security training was led by Gen. David H. Petraeus, who now commands all U.S. forces in Iraq.

The Pentagon did not dispute the GAO findings, saying it has launched its own investigation and indicating it is working to improve tracking. Although controls have been tightened since 2005, the inability of the United States to track weapons with tools such as serial numbers makes it nearly impossible for the U.S. military to know whether it is battling an enemy equipped by American taxpayers.

Surely not David Petraeus, the man who can do no wrong according to all serious weenie munchers on both sides of the aisle!

Thank God the Bush Pentagon didn't do anything that would truly endanger American troops, like writing an article about troops engaged in petty acts of a crass or offensive nature.

And it seems perhaps the word Accountability is a misnomer:

The GAO is studying the financing and weapons sources of insurgent groups, but that report will not be made public. "All of that information is classified," said Joseph A. Christoff, the GAO's director of international affairs and trade.

I think it's safe to say that the insurgents already know who's financing them and supplying them with weapons. Perhaps it might help for us to know why the Administration hasn't manage to cut off those supplies -- for the sake of -- that's right -- accountability.

Never send a Moran to do an adult's job. From the Depends Media website:

At his opening day press conference for the annual YearlyKos Convention in Chicago, Kos told the assemblage: "There is no Jesse Jackson wing of the Democratic Party anymore. We are the center" and promised to help "cleanse" the party of those not sufficiently progressive.

Rick Moran was at the press conference for Pajamas Media and will be covering the YearlyKos Convention for PJM with videographer Andrew Marcus. Rick's first report follows.

UPDATE: Apparently Markos Zuniga did not use the word "cleanse." He said "cleaning the Democratic Party out" at his press conference in reference to Senator Joseph Lieberman. Pajamas Media apologizes for the inaccuracy and retracts that part of the story.

The "apparently" is a nice touch. "Apparently" wingnut welfare means never having to acknowledge you've been called on a lie. Because here's what Moran wrote:

And as Markos Moulitsas Zúniga, AKA "Kos," made crystal clear at a press conference this afternoon, the battle will not only be against Republicans, but also against Democrats who need to be "cleansed" from the party. Kos didn't name any names, saying we will find out "soon enough" which Democrats would be targeted for defeat in the primaries.

Joseph Lieberman: The Man With No Name.

What A Difference 39 Years Makes

Thank God I didn't go and nerd up the YearlyKos convention. Drik Hertzberg, who ranks fairly high on the Poindexter Scale himself, is surprised that he can tell the difference between YearlyKos and, say, ComicCon:

I admit that I was expecting this crowd to look weirder. Not hippie weirder, though I did expect a bit of that, but nerdy weirder. So I was surprised at how extraordinarily normal everyone looked. The left, if I may use that radioactive word, sure has changed since "my day," i.e., the nineteen-sixties and early seventies. The equivalent of the liberal blogosphere back then was the "underground press," the anarchic collection of weekly and irregularly published quasi-newspapers and para-magazines that served as bulletin boards and primal-scream outlets for the counterculture and the various antiwar and "liberation" movements.

I get the impression that Drik doesn't actually spend much time reading liberal blogs (though he claims he regularly reads some of the more establishment libs), which contain plenty of biographical information, personal anecdotes and photographs of their authors (present company excepted). He'd have been much less surprised had he pictured an alumni reunion or a convention of Cat Fancy readers instead of D&D dorks or tech-geeks.

Back in the day, chicks used to disrobe while Rik stuck it to The Man. But yesterday's gone.

No one naked around here. No chaos at YearlyKos. No "sweet smell of marijuana," as the straight papers used to refer to it. No demands for revolution. No denunciations of bourgeois democracy.

And women speakers, too; not just "groupies" and "camp followers."

I fear Hertzberg might feel more at home on a National Review cruise. He could even smoke a bowl with Bill Buckley and Rick Brookheiser.

At Lawyers, Guns and Money, D surveys the wankosphere's response to Interstate 35W bridge collapse:

And as you might expect, it took about 30 minutes before the mouth-breathers at Little Green Footballs were performing complex numerological calculations in hopes of uncovering a secret jihadist plot. Both Assrocket and Capn' Crunch noted ominously that bridges like this "just don't collapse" in the U.S.

We should all be grateful that wingnut bloggers don't hold engineering licenses.

My Itinerary

For those of you wondering, I won't be attending the YearlyKos festivities because of my prior to commitment to accept a Lifetime Achievement Award at the Adult Video News Awards Banquet.

I'm dedicating the award to Sean Hannity. He knows why.

The Lies of The Haters

After Chris Hitch and the New York Post finish elevating the guy who crapped on the Koran to the status of secular saint/First Amendment martyr, perhaps they can hold a fundraising barbecue for the anonymous freedom warriors who taught a valuable lesson to these treacherous Mohammedans:

SARASOTA COUNTY - Islamic activists are calling on the FBI to investigate a hate crime in which a Bosnian family's home was burned July 6 and spray-painted with anti-Muslim slurs.

Hasib Sejfovic, 43, walked through what was left of his Avila Avenue home Friday afternoon. He looked at the charred remains of his couch, and the kitchen he recently spent $15,000 remodeling.

Ahmed Bedier, executive director of the Council on American-Islamic Relations, followed Sejfovic with a camera, filming the words "Kill all Arabs" that had been spray-painted in red on the floor.

...

Sheriff's detectives and authorities from the state fire marshal's division are investigating the arson and vandalism as a hate crime.

...

A neighbor driving by saw the flames and called authorities about 9 p.m. July 6.

The Sejfovic family was out of town on vacation and came home to find the inside of their house destroyed and their garage sprayed with anti-Muslim graffiti.

"Maybe they looked at the last name on the box," Sejfovic said. "I don't know how they knew we were Muslim."

Sejfovic said his family left Bosnia in 2001 for a better life. They did not speak English or know anyone here. Sejfovic works in lawn maintenance, and his wife works at a local grocery store.

What the MSM doesn't want you to know is that Sejfovic and his family were masterminding a plot to rape Christian babies. It's a shame that our repressive government is attempting to silence the speech of American heroes in yet another example of political correctness run amok.

(Sorry. Instead of exaggerating for comedic effect, I've actually downplayed the kind of hysterical claims wingnut bloggers are spouting on the issue. Forgive my subtlety.)

And here are a couple of articles that put the lie to the claim that New York authorities are Islamofascist stooges who won't charge a hate crime when Christian property is vandalized:

Officials determined the fire was deliberately set by Caleb Uriah Lussier, 21, of Plymouth, Mass., a former student at Word of Life Bible Institute, located farther down Route 9. Lussier told police he also set a Dec. 28, 2005, fire that heavily damaged a church in Plymouth, according to Post-Star archives.

...

Lussier told police at the time of his arrest that he focused on the churches because he believed in strict interpretations of the Bible and he disagreed with the churches' teachings.

Lussier was indicted in May 2007 on 10 felony charges, including one count of arson, as well as burglary, criminal mischief and grand larceny. The indictment also included hate crime enhancements based on Lussier's comments.

And:

Three teens were arrested and charged for vandalizing a church in Frewsburg that occurred on July 4, 2007.

The New York State Police say the teens set fire to an American flag, a 10 Commandments sign and spray painted anti-religious slurs outside of the United Methodist Church in Frewsburg.

Two girls, 14 and 15, were charged with criminal mischief. A 16-year-old male was charged with criminal mischief, menacing and arson.

"The suspects not only burned the American flag but also spray painted slogans and symbols on the church which lead us to believe this is a hate crime," says Investigator Cindy Mullen of the New York State Police.

I'm sorry to beat a dead horse, but when the purportedly respectable Snitchens is granted space on Slate to opine without evidence that enhancements for crimes against Muslims result "simply out of fear, and because the fanatical believers in that particular holy book have proved time and again that they mean business when it comes to intimidation," someone needs to call the lying ginsack on his bullshit.

The War On Semantic Dumbfuckery

Sometimes I loathe myself because I haven't figured out how to get paid to say whatever dumbass shit comes into my head. Usually this happens when I read The Politico and its merry band of morons.

Here's Ben Smith, whose cranium is 100 percent birdseed:

Obama's speech: No mention of "war on terror"

Barack Obama was among those raising his hands in a recent debate to indicate that he believes there is a "war on terror," but his speech today -- and read the whole thing -- marks a really sharp departure from policies past, and seems to challenge Hillary either to come along or be pushed toward the White House.

One note: The phrase "war on terror" appears nowhere in the speech.

The closest he comes: "America is at war with terrorists who killed on our soil. We are not at war with Islam."

The inarticulate Smith appears to be saying that Barack Obama has made a sharp departure from his past positions because he said that America is at war with terrorists rather than engaged in a war on terror. (Of course, neither statement refers to "policies" -- or is a comment on or to Senator Clinton, for that matter.)

There's no contradiction between Senator Obama's implied endorsement of the meaningless shorthand phrase "war on terror" and the more precise statement that America is using military resources against those affilated with the 9/11 attackers. Are Obama's promises to use the military to "to track down, capture or kill terrorists around the world" and "ensure that our military becomes more stealth[y], agile, and lethal in its ability to capture or kill terrorists" -- in a speech entitled "The War We Need to Win," no less -- inconsistent with the concept of "war on/against terrorism." Is the senator required to spout the Bushite cliche verbatim, in every speech, in order to avoid the charge of a radical course correction? Apparently he is if Ben Smith's got nothing to say and space to fill. Smith's analysis is simply infantile.

So where do I go to get the lobotomy that will put me on the Politico payroll?

Meet Your Liberal Media: Wyatt to Lie Edition

Associated Press reporter Kristen Wyatt is either dissembling or has been played for a chump by the anti-choice crowd. She writes:

The 2005 fetal homicide was designed to penalize those who kill a pregnant woman or her viable fetus, but it includes a provision shielding pregnant women from prosecution for actions that result in their own fetus's death.

The exemption, meant to preserve the right to an abortion, hasn't been challenged in the courts, said Denise Burke, vice president and legal director of Americans United for Life, a Chicago-based group that seeks common ground on abortion issues.

In reality, while the common ground lie is peddled by Americans United for Life, the organization is active in efforts to overturn Roe v. Wade, in enacting legislation which violates Roe and the U.S. Constitution, and in peddling the bogus claim of a link between abortion and breast cancer. The group seeks to eliminate all reproductive choice and all rights to privacy -- to impose its will on the unwilling -- not to find common ground.

The most generous explanation for Wyatt's erroneous report is that she simply types up the tripe that is fed to her without question. I'm not feeling particularly generous.

The High Cost of Immorality

George Bush's lust for Hussein snuff films comes with a steep price tag:

WASHINGTON -- The war in Iraq could ultimately cost well over a trillion dollars -- at least double what has already been spent -- including the long-term costs of replacing damaged equipment, caring for wounded troops, and aiding the Iraqi government, according to a new government analysis.

...

At the time [March 2003], the White House and then-defense secretary Donald Rumsfeld predicted a quick, decisive victory and counted on Iraqi oil revenues to pay for the war. And when Lawrence Lindsey, one of Bush's top budget advisers, estimated in 2003 that the entire undertaking could cost as much as $200 billion, he was fired.

Even that estimate -- which the Bush administration described at the time as far too high -- was still well off the mark. The Congressional Budget Office estimates that as of June, up to $500 billion has been spent on combat operations in Iraq.