Friday, August 17, 2007

Grand Old Police Blotter: Dicktatorships and Double Entendres Edition

Our Republican friend Bob Blolaw Allen continues to manfully beat off charges that he'll pay for play. His latest claim is that he's a victim of a totalitarian police state:

Hours after state Rep. Bob Allen was unceremoniously stripped of his legislative-committee appointments Wednesday, he said he is perhaps "the most misunderstood guy on Earth."

In the weeks since his arrest July 11 on a charge that he offered to perform oral sex on an undercover police officer and pay him $20, he has made comments that offended two of Florida's largest minority groups -- Hispanics and blacks.

On Wednesday, he told newspapers he felt he was being considered guilty even before his first court date -- as would happen in a totalitarian government such as Cuba. Allen, R-Merritt Island, spent part of the day explaining he wasn't comparing House Speaker Marco Rubio, who made the committee assignments and is Cuban-American, to Cuban dictator Fidel Castro.

"Never was I trying to ever say Marco is the new Fidel. That's the most insulting thing you can tell anyone in Miami," Allen said. "I would have used North Korea if I thought more."

If you thought more, Bobby, you wouldn't be cruising with cash in the crapper.

Stripped of his legislative appointments. Man, that sucks.

In this case, the totalitarian regime is controlled by Republicans Charlie Crist ("the People's Governor!") and Rubio. Perhaps Allen and his fellow tearoom exiles should solicit CIA funding, overthrow the state and reinstall Jeb! as Presidente for Life.

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