Sunday, April 27, 2003

Chuckie's Last Stand

Yesterday, the N.R.A. put a rifle in the warm, live hands of a mentally incapacitated man, for old times' sake. And then they quickly took it away from him.

The National Rifle Association bid a loving farewell to actor Charlton Heston, who took the stage Saturday for the final time at the group's annual convention, and managed to briefly hold a rifle in the air, and muster up one more, "From my cold, dead hands!"

The homage to Heston put a surreal layer on this annual event, which brings together 50,000 gun owners -- nearly all of them white, and most of them ardent Republicans -- for a weekend of gadget shopping, networking and competing in everything from duck-calling championships to seats on the governing board.

Country singer Toby Keith sang Friday night. Florida Gov. Jeb Bush spoke Saturday night. There was even an NRA-sanctioned comedian, Bill Engvall, who quickly got the crowd on his side by saying what he thought of Natalie Maynes [sic] and Rosie O'Donnell for criticizing President George W. Bush.

"If you don't like the way this country runs, and you don't love who's running it, move," Engvall said.

The crowd roared its approval.

Now that's comedy!

Also on sale at the convention were bumper stickers reading "President Bush, Way to Go. Kick their Ass and Take their Gas." I'm sure they meant sarin and VX.

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