With A Rebel Yell, Mick's A Whore, Whore, Whore

Little Mick's last minute get out the vote campaign for his Whore of the Year candidacy has gone into overdrive. By simply ignoring the mountains of evidence of Charles Pickering's unsuitability for the position of federal appellate judge, Mick concludes "[t]he case against Pickering is weak."

How does Mick reach this conclusion? Dishonestly, of course.

In discussing the case, Mick cites a anti-Pickering article in The New Republic, written by Michael Crowley at the time of the first Pickering nomination. Mick then writes:

I was surprised at how little Crowley has on Pickering -- the piece reads as if he'd been fed tendentious arguments by the camp of Sen. John Edwards, when the Edwards folks were panicked by some respectable criticism of his Judiciary committee cross-examination of Pickering. ...

Crowley completely ignores what Byron York and the WSJ editorial page describe as Pickering's chief complaint in the cross-burning case -- that the government cut a lenient deal with the wrong guy, the ringleader who had the most racial animus. (Unnecessary ellipses by Mick, nothing omitted.)

But that's simply not true, as Mick would know if he had read the WSJ op-ed to which he links. The WSJ explains that all three defendants were offered deals, and the one who went to trial (Daniel Swan) rejected the government's deal.

Mick's "proof" of the lack of evidence against Pickering is the existence of two articles favorable to Pickering. Unfortunately for Mick, the incompetence and/or dishonesty of both York and WSJ editorial page is well-established, so Mick's proof is illusory. But let's leave those facts aside, and look at the defense Mick advances on behalf of Pickering. Mick says that Pickering's concerted efforts to reduce the sentence of one racist terrorist were inspired by the fact that Swan's co-terrorist received a light sentence via a "government deal."

Was Pickering really put out that "the government cut a deal with the wrong guy?" As Al Gore, Sr. said to Strom Thrumond, "Hell, No!" In fact, it was Pickering who approved the plea bargain with the juvenile defendant who Mick calls "the ringleader." Crowley writes that "[Pickering] repeatedly told senators that he had been unaware, when he accepted the two plea bargains, that one of the pleading defendants had previously fired a gun into the Polkeys' home. But the trial transcript shows a discussion of the fact that the defendant's plea itself included an admission of guilt for the shooting." (Emphasis added.)

The simple fact that Kaus, York and the WSJ omit is this: Pickering could have rejected the plea bargain and forced the "wrong guy" to go to trial for his crimes too. But he accepted the plea. (And, according to Crowley, lied to the U.S. Senate about the facts too.)

Once this fact is revealed, Mick's impassioned defense for Pickering collapses. Pickering called the government's demand for a 7 year sentence for Swan the "most egregious instance of disproportionate sentencing recommended by the government in any case pending before this court." But Pickering reached this conclusion by comparing Swan's sentence not to the crime Swan committed, but to the plea agreement he himself approved for the juvenile. If Swan's sentence was "disproportionate," it was because Pickering approved the too-lenient sentence for the juvenile in the first instance. Not much of a principled reason for setting a criminal sentence, and even less a principled criticism of mandatory sentencing laws.

Notwithstanding Mickey Kaus's clowning, Judge Pickering deserves an impartial hearing on the matter. To that end, I implore Judge Pickering to call Daniel Swan as a character witness at his forthcoming confirmation hearing.

Great Minds Update: Read the Horse's "MICKEY "MAUS" KAUS SWOONS OVER A SEG."

Bold Gold

Brent Bozell has started providing detailed summaries of the, um, best parts of t.v. shows, movies and pop music. For the sake of the children, of course.

I'd like to suggest that Brent start reviewing which pornos not to watch.

Poppy says, "Your mother's right, she's really up on things"/"Before we married, Mommy served in the WACS in the Philippines"

Paul Krugman schools Sully on the difference between a "president" and an "unelected tyrant:"

"Still, some U.S. politicians didn't seem to mind. In 1981 - that is, almost a decade after Marcos suspended the Philippine constitution - Vice President George Bush toasted him for his "adherence to democratic principles and the democratic process." In 1986, when Corazon Aquino led the "people power" revolution against Marcos, Ronald Reagan tried to persuade her to compromise with Marcos - who had murdered her husband. But Reagan, you see, admired Marcos for his wartime heroism and his strong stand against Communism."

(Via The Horse.)

Too Cool For Shul

The collection of freaks at the Moonie Times just keeps getting weirder. Witness Suzanne Fields, who opines that "Jews aren't cool":

George Bush reflects cowboy cool which comes naturally, compared to, say, the Democratic wannabees who want to fill his boots. Joe Lieberman is smart, but a yarmulke is not a ten-gallon hat. He's definitely not cool. (Jews rarely are.)

And how does Fields define "cool"?:

Cool as in confident without showing it, as in knowing without showing off, trendy with the nonchalance of understatement.

So, according to Fields, with rare exceptions, Jews are insecure, overstated show-offs.

I suppose one could argue that Fields' statement was meant to suggest that "cool" actually represents superficiality or trendiness, and thus it's a compliment to call Jews "uncool" (in other words, Jews are serious and substantive, not shallow). But Fields clearly admires all the people she describes as cool (the Bushes, Rummy) and despises all those she thinks aren't (all Democrats). So she clearly means "uncool" as an insult.

I don't know Fields, she could be Jewish for all I know. But why does she hate Jews?

No one is taking up the Mo Do Must Go campaign. No "Belafonte Awards," no ads in campus newspapers, no one calling MoDo a "race hustler" or "quota pimpette." I have overestimated my influence on right-wing opinion makers.

I am so disappointed.

The Hack Is Back

After wasting his special talents on auto show reviews, Little Mick is hack back and badder than ever. Today, Mick weighs in on the case of Charles Pickering, nominee for the federal appellate bench. And his opinions are based on "Byron York's persuasive brief for Pickering in the cross-burning case."

Ah, yes. When last we saw Byron York, he was peddling fraudulent affidavits on behalf of the Republican Party. So why should we believe York when he peddles, uncritically, Pickering's version of events? Don't ask Mickey, his mind's already made up.

Mick knows that "[t]he lobbying groups have to righteously oppose someone or they might as well go out of business." And how does he know that? Because it "seems" that way to him. What more proof do you need?

Talk Left has a good story (although it doesn't link the original source) about a New York City police officer and two firefighters who filed a wrongful termination suit against the city when they were dismissed "after wearing blackface during a Labor Day float [sic] and mocking the death of an African-American man in Texas." Then-Mayor Giuliani voiced the opinion that the men should be fired, even though the authority to fire the men rested with the Police and Fire Commissioners, and not Rudy. Apparently (although it is not entirely clear from the story) the men were fired after hearings before their respective commissioners, and the plaintiffs are arguing they didn't get due process because Rudy's statements made it impossible to get a fair hearing (since the commissioners report to Rudy). One of the plaintiffs' attorneys also suggested that Rudy's comments were designed to rehabilitate his own tarnished record on racial issues.

It's hard to have any sympathy for the plaintiffs. If participation in the parade was part of their official duties (or they were off-duty, but identifying themselves by their affiliation to the NYPD and FD), the city had every right to fire them. If they were acting completely as private citizens and not identifying themselves with their employer, their free speech argument might have some merit. Nevertheless, the views they expressed definitely call into question their ability to fulfill their most important job duty, to serve and protect all of the public. (They were essentially saying that a black crime victim deserved ridicule, not sympathy.) If there was cause to fire them, the fact that Rudy spoke out of place isn't particularly relevant. From what I've read (which is just the Talk Left comment), these guys don't deserve any damages, or reinstatement.

Update: Here's how the NYT reports it.

Weiner Nation

Scoobie Davis provides the invaluable service of exposing hate-radio's most litigious bigot, Michael "Savage" Weiner. Davis' cogent commentary can be read at Scoobie Davis Online and The Savage Nation: A Critical Analysis. It's a must-read.

Apart from its unrelenting racism and anti-gay bile (which far exceeds that of most wingnut talkers), the most noteworthy thing about Weiner's show is how incompetent Weiner is as a broadcaster. Although he fancies himself a humorist, he has absolutely no comedic timing. He can't improvise and often loses track of his thought in mid-sentence. And when he talks about himself, the self-pity is excruciating to hear. I rarely listen to him, but every time I do each of those elements is present. If you think the right can't sink any lower, you haven't listened to Weiner.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Bo Screws The Pooches Edition:

That long-simmering dispute between a suburban Philadelphia animal shelter and Kennedy Center trustee Bo Derek has reached the boiling point. [Para.] Yesterday Bill Smith, of Main Line Animal Rescue in Wayne, Pa., told us he and a group of Washington animal activists are busy organizing a rally in front of the Kennedy Center to demonstrate against Derek, a former Playboy model and actress who was appointed to the center's board by President Bush. In August 2001, Derek pocketed $21,402, including first-class airfare for two, to headline the shelter's September 2001 fundraiser, but canceled her trip after the 9/11 attacks and kept the money.

Derek, a Bush Republican, reportedly refused to comment.

I wonder how much Bo was paid to attend the minstrel show in 2000?

It's More About The Benjamin

"'A Reuters report of Eden's initial offer [to bequeath $125,000 to any woman who could kill him with sex] in August was published and broadcast around the world. He said it had led to a flood of e-mails to his office (ue_commerce@gmx.de) from women in countries ranging from the United States to Brazil and Russia.'

Does it comment on the state of modern womanhood? I would say so. I highly doubt that this kind of offer would have gotten this kind of response, say, 40 years ago." -- Young Master Benjamin (via TBogg; parenthetical added for clarity.)

"Sit down, Benny."

"Your mother and I want to talk to you about something."

"Yes, sir."

"We think you've reached an age where you're mature enough to understand certain, uh, things...."

"What is it, Father?"

"Son, it's about ... Nancy Reagan."

Earlier, I inadvertently failed to credit Mac Diva for letting me know about this important story. I apologize for the omission.

A Little Red Meat For My Right-Wing Readers

But Mr. Rove and his president have a new style of class warfare � the affluent afflicting the afflicted; the ruling class enacting policies to help itself, weaving a pashmina safety net so the well-off can buy more expensive stuff they don't need....

But at their convention in New York, they can produce a hip-hop show that camouflages their hip-G.O.P. policies. Just as they did in Philadelphia in 2000, when they put on a minstrel show for the Babbity white guys in the stands. -- Maureen Dowd, January 8, 2003

Where are the usual wingnuts?

If Crazy Davey plays his cards right, he can remodel his downstairs bathroom from this one.

Witt and Witlessness

"And let me use an example from 2000. During the debates, during the first debate, Al Gore said that he had gone down to Texas to go to a disaster site with James Lee Witt, the head of FEMA. It turned out he hadn�t. He had gone to 17 disasters with James Lee Witt, not that one. He went with the deputy of Witt. The press jumped all over him. It was as if James Lee Witt were the most popular man in America and Al Gore was lying to get some of that James Lee Witt magic to rub off on him." -- Al Franken, January 6

Chopper Bob Ehrlich isn't going to let a little prosecutorial bias get in the way of a popular state program like the death penalty. A University of Maryland report finds that Maryland prosecutors are more likely to seek the death penalty in cases where the alleged killer is black and the victim is white. Specifically, the report determined that "[b]lack offenders who kill blacks are significantly less likely to face the death penalty, while black offenders who kill whites are significantly more likely to face a death sentence than all other racial combinations."

The newly elected Republican Governor of Maryland nevertheless still intends to lift the moratorium on executions imposed by his predecessor. "I firmly believe that in some cases the ultimate sanction is appropriate, regardless of race," Mr. Ehrlich said yesterday.

Ehrlich's spokesperson, Shareese N. DeLeaver, used a more ... uh ... colorful metaphor on the question of racial bias: "Any kinks in the criminal justice system will be ironed out by the Ehrlich administration."

A summary of the UM report, as well as .pdf copies of the full report, here.

Michael Barone Explains Blogs

MR. MCLAUGHLIN: What's a blog?

MR. BARONE: A blog is a Web log. It's where you write up your things and put them out on the Internet. You may write as many as 20, 25 a day, as instapundit.com does.

He also displays his trademark ignorance on the Lott story. (About 5/8ths down.)

"Missed You At Bible Study"

So I was in the bookstore today and saw a copy of David Frum's book, "What I Saw Was Deevolution" ...um ... "The Right Man: The Surprise Presidency of George Bush" marked down to $13.00 (damaged). Having skimmed it for a good two minutes, I can offer the following review:

"Missed you at Bible study" is the first sentence of the book and reportedly the first thing Frum heard someone say at the White House.

The book has 286 pages, not including the index.

I'm not listed in the index.

Neither is Mickey Kaus.

Sully is mentioned at page 159, quoted as calling some Bush speechwriter named Fonte as Bush's "Catholic Ghostwriter." There's a bunch of stuff about Crazy Davey Horowitz in that chapter.

It's got wide margins.

There's a whole chapter on the "Axis of Evil" credit flap, with Frum whining about how Slate quoted his wife's forwarded e-mail. But he was already planning to leave, and Novak lied on CNN when he said Frum got shit-canned.

Roger's Rating: Zero stars.

UPDATED (1/8) with multiple changes and corrections. See the Comments section for the original text. (Hey, I said it was two minutes.)

Buzzflash links to the William Lind essay that California G.O.P. Vice Chairman Bill Back e-mailed to the party faithful. In the article, Lind imagines what would have happened if the Confederacy had won the Civil War.

Certainly Southerners would not be living under the iron rule of an all-powerful federal government, as we all do now. Northerners might not be, either; a Union defeat would have given states' rights a boost in both countries. The Tenth Amendment might still have the force of law even up north.

So at least part of North America would still stand for Western culture, Christianity and an appreciation of the differences between ladies and gentlemen. Decency might have taken its stand in Dixie, along with some other good things such as an appreciation for the merits of rural life.

Oh, and no Hitler or Communism, and no slavery either.

Plenty of inbred crackers like Lind and Back, though.

The Anal Retentive Prof

"An article on Nov. 28, 1994, about the science fiction writer Arthur C. Clarke and his home in Sri Lanka misstated the surname of a University of Tennessee law professor who nominated the writer that year for the Nobel Peace Prize, for his humanist approach to technology. The professor is Glenn Harlan Reynolds, not Roberts. A reader recently brought the error to The Times's attention." -- Corrections, New York Times, page A2, December 16, 2002

If, according to Confucius, "Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon and star," then George W. Bush has achieved black hole status.-- Jeffrey Kramer

Brilliant. And there's nine more.

Somebody give that man a blog.

Racial Profiling In Massachusetts

A series of articles in the Boston Globe reveals racial disparity in traffic stops by Massachusetts police. Police officers in that state have been required to record the race of individuals stopped and ticketed since 2000. The Globe reviewed the records and reports the following findings:

* Blacks and Hispanics are ticketed at about twice their share of the population. Although blacks account for 4.6 percent of the state's driving-age population, they receive 10.0 percent of tickets to state residents. Hispanics make up 5.6 percent of the population, but get 9.6 percent of tickets.

* Once a driver gets a ticket, a vehicle search is rare, occurring only every 60 tickets. But the search rate for black and Hispanic drivers is about 1 out of 40 tickets.... Blacks and Hispanics driving a new car are especially more often searched than whites in new cars.

* Once searched, more of the whites were apparently found with drugs. Officers are required to report drug charges on tickets, so the Registry can suspend driving privileges. In all, 16 percent of whites searched were charged with a drug offense, compared with 12 percent of blacks, 10 percent of Hispanics, 7 percent of Asians, 6 percent of American Indians, and 4 percent of Middle Easterners. The tickets don't detail what officers were looking for, or whether they found it, but they do show whether there was a drug charge.

Even assuming all the traffic stops were legitimate, that doesn't explain why African-Americans and Hispanics have their vehicles serarched at a higher rate or searched more often without cause.

Also interesting is the police resistance to collecting statistics on the races of persons stopped, even though they are legally required to do so. Most cops comply with the law, but one who opposes the requirement says: "Why should it be incumbent upon me to determine the race? Why do I have to guess? I don't guess your address, I don't guess your name, I don't guess your date of birth.''

What are the chances this officer never uses racial descriptions in the line of duty, except to describe persons who have volunteered that information to him? Go on, take a wild guess.

Double Penetration

Now that I've got your attention.

What do Andrew Sullivan and Mickey Kaus have in common?

Other than that.

According to columnist Bruce Bartlett, they're both penetrating writers. Bartlett writes of Sully:

My favorite [blog] is one written by Andrew Sullivan (andrewsullivan.com), a British conservative with a Ph.D. from Harvard....[Para.] ....Mr. Sullivan started out on the left. He was at onetime editor of the New Republic magazine, an important voice of American liberalism for more than 100 years.

Because he understands the left so well, Mr. Sullivan is particularly penetrating in his analysis of it, especially when it comes out of academia or the New York Times. In fact, his criticism of the latter on his web site cost him a job writing for the New York Times Magazine on direct orders of its executive editor, the extremely liberal and partisan Howell Raines.

Fortunately, Mr. Sullivan survived the loss of income by getting voluntary contributions from his readers. A recent fund-raising drive netted him almost $100,000 in $20 increments � a remarkable achievement and testament to his popularity. (Emphasis added.)

And of Little Mick:

Another site I check almost daily is written by Mickey Kaus and appears at slate.com. He is another former liberal who has drifted rightward, although not as much as Mr. Sullivan. Mr. Kaus sees himself as more of a New Democrat who is trying to save liberalism from its own excesses. Nevertheless, his insights are often penetrating.

Bartlett also opines that blogs can be unreliable, "[b]ut that is true of any medium that deals in time-sensitive information, including newspapers." You don't know how right you are, Bruce.

They All Look Alike To The Confederacy's Newspaper

The Moonie Times has confused Chicago Tribune columnist Clarence Page with Mod Squad actor Clarence Williams. Page's current column, attributed by the paper to "Clarence Williams," is here.

An honest mistake, I'm sure.

Bush League Tactics

This is weird. William Donahue of the Catholic League is criticizing a group for "mock[ing] gay priests" in a Philadelphia parade. A group planned to march in the parade with participants dressed as priests and altar boys, referencing the sexual abuse scandals in the Catholic Church. Says Donahue, quoting himself in his own press release:

�To mock gay priests in a major parade in a prominent city is disgraceful. That the government is hosting this assault on homosexual priests is even worse."

.... That�s because the City of Philadelphia is infinitely more interested in not offending the sensibilities of African Americans than it is gay priests. In short, the City has drawn a line that racists may not cross, but anti-Catholic and anti-gay bigots are welcome to do so."

As evidenced by his past writings, Donahue is no supporter of either gay rights or gay priests. Although he doesn't say it outright, Donahue's real point appears to be that all gay priests are sexual predators. Donahue might want to review the scriptures pertaining to false witness before he quotes himself again.

(Story via Best of the Blogs and Hit & Run.)

Roger's Bookbag

For those who consider Who Moved My Cheese? too intellectually demanding....

For those who think reading Truly Tasteless Jokes while evacuating their bowels is multitasking....

Here, via TBogg, is the perfect book for you:

"The Leadership Genius of George W. Bush: 10 Common Sense Lessons from the Commander-in-Chief"

Yes, George Bush is the latest hero in the genre that made extra-wide margins, bullet points and two-sentence paragraphs obscenely profitable.

I'm not going to bash Bush here, since he has nothing to do with the book. (Of course, he had nothing to do with A Charge to Keep either, but that's another poorly written story.) I'm going to bash the publisher of this worthy volume, John Wiley & Sons. The book hasn't even been printed yet, and it's already crap. Witness the dust jacket copy:

If, according to Abigail Adams, "great necessities call forth great leaders," then George W. Bush has displayed a natural ability to lead.

What?!? That makes no sense. None.

From owner of the Texas Rangers to President of the United States, these principles have propelled George W. Bush to the top and can do the same for you:

Incredible. Wiley & Sons should be ashamed to have its name on something so poorly written.

Lefty Radio

skippy the bush kangaroo has an interesting campaign to promote interest in the syndication of the Randi Rhodes radio show. I've never heard Rhodes, but she's a C-SPAN fan, skippy likes her, and she apparently slapped Ollie North around recently. What's not to like?

Talk radio in my area is a 10-hour block of Rush, Sean Hannity, Dr. Laura and Michael Savage. In other words, a sneak preview of hell. Pacifica has some pretty good hosts, like Larry Bensky and Amy Goodman, but nothing in the talk radio format. Talk of the Nation on NPR is incredibly bland.

For an often-uproarious weekly show with a mostly left point of view, try Harry Shearer's Le Show. No one bashes Larry King better. And the Apologies of the Week are hilarious.

Frum Here To The Remainder Bin

The big bombshell at the Drudge Report is that Chucklehead Canuck David Frum has written a book about his days as a Bush speechwriter. It's called "What I Saw Was Deevolution."

Seriously, it appears the biggest bombshell is that Frum "describes Bush as 'tart.'" Fascinating.

But which definition?

1. Having a sharp pungent taste; sour.

2. Sharp or bitter in tone or meaning; cutting.

3. A pastry shell with shallow sides, no top crust, and any of various fillings.

4. A prostitute.

5. A woman considered to be sexually promiscuous.

Egg Boy also reports that top Administration officials (read Karl Rove) are "infuriated" with Frum's "controversial" book. There is no question that this book will be nauseatingly obsequious to the Boy King in every respect, unless Frum is thinking of a career change to dishwasher. But if Drudge's characterization of the White House reaction is true, Rove is the biggest control freak to blight the landscape since the Reverend Jim Jones.

(Link via Atrios.)

Update: Drudge also reports that Frum says Bush is "not nice." Other stunning revelations from Frum: Bush is "not a woman," has "white skin" and "probably isn't a midget."

The Moonie Times' Mag On North Korea

Sully Mit Weinerschnitzel

Andrew Sullivan posts a comment in which he translates Paul Krugman from the German. I didn't know that Sully was bilingual. In the comment, he reads Krugman's answer to a Der Spiegel interviewer to mean "that president Bush is indistinguishable from an unelected tyrant," namely, Ferdinand Marcos. But Marcos was elected twice before declaring martial law. Marcos also was declared the winner of a third election, in 1986. The legitimacy of that election was questioned, as was the legitimacy of 2000 Presidential election in which Bush claimed victory. Looking at the identical point in their respective careers, Marcos actually had more legitimacy two years in than Bush has now.

Sully also takes seriously Krugman's comments about seeking asylumn in Germany. Apparently, the magazine's use of the parenthetical "(laughs)" wasn't enough of a clue for the sober-minded Sully to realize that Krugman was joking. Humourless git.

Which Simpsons Character Are You, John Ashcroft?

"So many of the foibles of 'The Simpsons' are projections of what happens in my life, and in our family. I see both the humor and the tragedy in everyday existences in the lives of Homer, Lisa, and Bart. Marge may be my favorite character. She is so pure in her life, she tolerates the nonsense and just stays right in there.

"Ned Flanders is another character I like. He seems naive, but keeps chugging on with his positive approach to life. Instead of being victimized by all of Homer's schemes and abuses, he ends up doing well, which confounds Homer. What's interesting to me about 'The Simpsons' is that it's about people of pure motive and perseverance who keep plowing ahead in spite of the lunacy that surrounds them." -- Attorney General John Ashcroft

Ashcroft then declared that Apu Nahasapeemapetilon was being detained indefinitely, without bail, for questioning as a material witness.

Back To The Future Of The G.O.P.

(From the Contra Costa Times; found via BuzzFlash)

A leading candidate in the upcoming race for chairman of the California Republican Party distributed an article suggesting the nation would have been better off if the South had won the Civil War.

The article was included in a 1999 e-mail newsletter that state GOP Vice Chairman Bill Back sent to party members. It was written by Bill Lind, director of the Center for Cultural Conservatism, an arm of the right-wing Free Congress Foundation.

"Given how bad things have gotten in the old U.S.A., it's not hard to believe that history might have taken a better turn," Lind wrote. "... The real damage to race relations in the South came not from slavery, but from Reconstruction, which would not have occurred if the South had won."

Back was "a very active leader in the George W. Bush for President Campaign," according to the California G.O.P. The Free Congress Foundation is the tool of Paul Weyrich, the self-described Founding President of the Heritage Foundation. Weyrich's contribution to the Lott controversy was the following:

"The news media read far more into the statements than what Lott meant, which was a simple statement to honor a veteran Senator whose hallmark was anti-Communism and had adjusted to the post-Civil Rights South."

Post-Civil Rights South? You wish, Paul.

Gods and Sods

The wingnuts who tried to make hay of Senator Robert Byrd's cameo as a Confederate general in the forthcoming film adaptation of Gods and Generals forgot to mention ... the rest of the story:

Two U.S. senators and one who recently retired have a few seconds of face time as Confederate officers in a Civil War movie that opens next month. [Para.] Sen. George Allen, R-Va.; Sen. Robert Byrd, D-W.Va.; and former Sen. Phil Gramm, R-Texas, are cast in "Gods and Generals." (Emphasis added.)

Guess that's the last we'll hear of that.

Backdoor Rush

Those unfortunate enough to listen to Rush Limbaugh on Friday heard the unfunny "entertainer" use the term "gang bang" no less than three times in less than 10 minutes, to describe the anticipated infighting between Democratic presidental hopefuls. Limbaugh also used the phrase "rip him a new one" in the same rambling monologue.

One can't help but wonder about Rush's fascination with vulgar slang describing forced sexual intercourse. One also can't help but wonder what kind of family values Rush's dittoheads actually hold.

Maggie's Funny Farm

Margaret Carlson is campaigning hard for Whore Of The Year. On today's Capital Gang, Carlson presented a fawning interview with Senator Fred Thompson, in which she grilled Thompson with such hard-hitting questions as "Why are you leaving us?" Carlson also bestowed the following undeserved honorifics on Thompson: moderate, reasonable, "the go-to guy for Democrats," independent, maverick.

Anyone with a brain larger than the size of a walnut will recall that Thompson was the chair of one of the most partisan
-- and worthless -- investigations in American political history: The Senate Governmental Affairs Committee campaign finance reform investigation. Thompson also was the champion of that discredited criminal and Richard Mellon Scaife employee, David Hale. It's obvious that Carlson pays more attention to Law and Order reruns than the national political scene she is paid to cover.

2003 Has Officially Begun

Forget the Stridex Medicated Pads Copper Bowl and Seurtan Nature's Laxative Rose Bowl, the offical kick-off of the New Year is the Return of Media Whores Online.

And be sure to cast your vote for Whore of the Year 2002. I already have.

And a huge thank you to MWO for the link. All I can say is: Erstwhile? I always use a quondam.

Lott Must Go

The lynching of Trent Lott continues. Senate Republicans are so eager to distance themselves from the long-suffering Mississippian that they've condemned him to assume the position of Chair of the Senate Rules and Administration Committee. It's almost too much for a Southern, Christian conservative to bear.

(Also note the Moonie Times once again repeats the lie that Great-Uncle Cracker (aka Strom Thurmond) has "apologized for his views on segregation.")

Dick of the Year, 2002

From Benjamin Shapiro, aged 18 and 3 months:

Now here's a bright entrepreneur who knows what women want. Rolf Eden, a Berlin playboy, 72, is offering $125,000 to any woman who will kill him while having sex. Talk about politically incorrect! Check out his comment on feminists: "If they're outraged, the leader, if she's young and beautiful, she should come here and I'll change her mind very fast."

No question, this guy is a pig, but this story really points out the state of modern womanhood.

Got that, modern women? Benjamin says you're all whores!

(Link via TBogg.)

Earlier today, Roger Ailes was named as the recipient of a Sandy Koufax Award for the Best New Blog by readers of P.L.A. - A Journal of Politics, Law and Autism.

I would like to sincerely thank everyone who voted for this blog, as well as everyone who participates here or just reads and enjoys the site. I would like to insincerely thank the many wingnuts and the ever-growing ranks of their lackeys in the press for constantly making asses of themselves, thereby making my job so much easier. And, of course, I would like to thank Media Whores Online, the original inspiration for whatever the hell it is I do here.

Each of the nominees kick ass in their own way:

Wampum Blog

Nitpicker

Pennsylvania Gazette

Musings & Meanderings

Left In The West

Parting Shot

They may lag behind in president-shaped-dildo reportage and gratuitous virgin-bashing, but they more than make up for it with their commitment, passion and intellect.

Check out Seeing the Forest, if only for Mrs. IssuesGuy's Christmas card. And then stay and read all the other good stuff.

p.s. Don't just click on the Christmas card here, which would defeat the entire purpose of this post.

Willey Blows, McCaslin Swallows

It's Two-fer Tubesteak Thursday at Roger Ailes.

Vibrator enthusiast John McCaslin's corrections column also contains this item:

Clinton "Sexgate" whistleblower Kathleen E. Willey has just granted an interview to WABC radio in New York on the heels of Time Magazine naming FBI agent Coleen Rowley, ex-Enron employee Sherron Watkins and WorldCom worker Cynthia Cooper "Persons of the Year."

"I found it very interesting that all of a sudden we're looking at the 'Persons of the Year' and there are three female whistleblowers," Mrs. Willey told the station's "Batchelor & Alexander Show," as reported by the Internet site newsmax.com.

"I guess that if you blow the whistle against somebody that Time magazine doesn't like, it's OK to be a whistleblower," she said. "[Time magazine] really, really trashed me. Their writers were just brutal to me and about me."

And who else "trashed" Willey? Well, that would Willey herself, according to non-dildo-endorsing Independent Counsel Robert Ray, who came to the generous conclusion that Willey was an "unreliable witness."

But kudos to WABC for its coup in scoring an exclusive interview with media-shy Willey.

Moonie Times Columnist Flogs Dildo, Gets Caught With Pants Down

You've got to love the one-track minds of the morons at the Moonie Times. On January 1, Times columnist John McCaslin reported that Ken Starr had not only endorsed, but also had fondled, a novelty dildo shaped like President Clinton:

Of course, care should be taken when using any massager, especially this one. Slick Willie is a toy, a novelty massager, and should be treated as such.

Who would buy such a toy?

Lobbyists and politicians alike, we're told, have purchased Slick Willie massagers to soothe their, um, political kinks.

"I wish he'd been this forthright and entertaining during the impeachment trial," says Kenneth W. Starr, former independent counsel, who's handled the "monument."

Apparently Starr called the paper to deny the phallus fingering, and McCaslin has beat a retreat, blaming unnamed "editors" for his own error:

Owing to an editing error, a statement made by "a former Starr prosecutor," as was originally written, was incorrectly attributed to Mr. Starr.

Open mouth, insert dildo.

McCaslin remains more dense than a slab of rubber, since the statement he refers to is a patently-obvious gag quote on the website of the company flogging the item. McCaslin doesn't explain how an editing error caused him to state that Starr has "handled the 'monument,'" since no such statement appears on the company's site.

But it's not about sex.

More Bad Right-Wing Writing About the Clash

What is it about the Clash that makes crap right-wing writers write even crappier than usual? First Little Mick and now "the Mugger":

In the numerous obits that were printed last week, left-wingers claimed Strummer as their sole possession but that�s nonsense. One of the best rock critics in the punk/new-wave era was John Buckley (nephew of William F. Buckley), who wrote for the Soho News and later worked for Jack Kemp. Songs like "Something About England," "Somebody Got Murdered," "White Man in Hammersmith Palais," "I�m So Bored with the U.S.A," "Career Opportunities," "Train in Vain," "Straight to Hell," "Janie Jones," "London Calling" and "Spanish Bombs" were often political, but rock �n� roll usually transcends partisanship. Nation readers must�ve been shocked to learn that Strummer, at least in middle age, was a regular reader of the Tory Daily Telegraph, but the band�s frontman was never predictable.

Follow that? Left-wingers claimed that Strummer was a left-winger, but in truth William Buckley's nephew wrote about punk music and later worked for Jack Kemp.

"Songs like 'Something About England,' 'Somebody Got Murdered,' [etc.] ... were often political...." When were they not political - every other weekend? Bank holidays?

And Joe read the Daily Telegraph. Sorry, Russ, reading right-wing drivel doesn't make you a right-winger. As any one of your ten readers will tell you.

Answers to the Roger Ailes Year-In-Review Quiz

(Pretend they're upside down)

1) c. 2) c. 3) b. 4) a. 5) a. 6) a, probably. 7) a. - Franklin; b. - Billy. 8) c. 9) f. 10) e. 11) e. 12) c. 13) a. 14) d. 15) c.

Score:

15 Correct: You are a true American.
1-14 Correct: You are not.

How Real Reporters Do It

While the American press is full of sanctimonious apologists for power, their Brit counterparts have a healthy disrespect for authority and, apparently, everyone else. The following may (or may not) explain why certain U.K. newspapers are livelier and better written than their counterparts in the States.

The undisputed winners are those Observer staff, led by editor Roger Alton, who spent two days at a country house hotel in July pondering the question: where do we go from here? The assembled hacks quickly came up with the answer: straight to the bar. After many comradely exchanges � �you�re fucking pissed, you wanker!� � news editor Andy Malone punched business editor Frank Kane, who fell on to a fire grate and fractured several ribs. Malone himself then keeled over, dead drunk, injuring his leg.

A �team-building� football match the next morning degenerated into a riot of wild tackling and mud-wrestling, and left acting review editor Tim Adams with a broken nose. �Fuck fuck fuck,� Alton muttered despairingly on returning to the office. �What the fuck�s happening to this paper?�

Andy and Frank are the kind of guys I'd love to see invited to Sally Quinn dinner parties.

The Majesty of the Marketplace, Part II

The other great tax-cut tome is Wealth and Poverty, written by George Gilder in 1981. Gilder's reputation, too, has gone south recently. After winning acclaim as a tax-cut zealot, Gilder abruptly became a telecommunications autodidact. During the 1990s boom he made a fortune as a new economy evangelist--he earned up to six figures for a single speech, and his newsletter, "Gilder Technology Report," often caused stocks he recommended to jump as much as 50 percent....

The technology crash caused most of the companies Gilder extolled in his newsletter to lose virtually all their value.... Gilder had to abandon the Spectator and, according to Wired, is now broke and has a lien against his home--giving the phrase "Wealth and Poverty" an unanticipated poignancy. -- Jonathan Chiat, "Get Lucky"

Mine, Mine, Mine!

The president responded abruptly when a reporter suggested that war was inevitable.

"You say we're headed to war in Iraq. I don't know why you suggested that," he said. "I'm the person who gets to decide, not you."

Meet Your Liberal Media

This is CNN.

This too.

The day this is enacted is the day we meet Ben Shapiro's new boyfriend.

But... But ... He Called Them Evil!!

"The Bushies told the North Koreans that they either had to shape up or we'd take them out. Now the North Koreans have called our bluff. And the administration -- as signalled by Powell's comments over the weekend -- has caved, enunciating a policy which is now substantially more dovish than the Clinton policy.

"Tough talk sounds great until your opponent calls your bluff and everybody sees there's nothing behind the trash talk. Then you look foolish. That's where we are right now with North Korea." -- Joshua Micah Marshall

The Unfunny Papers

Political cartoonist Doug Marlette has made an offending statement of Trent Lott proportions, and is digging himself in deeper. He recently published a cartoon entitled "What Would Mohammed Drive?" which depicts and Arab man driving a Ryder truck with a nuclear warhead on board.

Rather than acknowledge the offensive nature of his cartoon, Marlette brags about his ability to "piss people off." He also claims his cartoon -- an alleged take-off on the "What Would Jesus Drive?" ad campaign -- is "an attack on the distortion of their [Muslims'] religion by murderous fanatics and zealots." Unfortunately for Marlette, that's just not true. There's nothing in the cartoon which even hints at the premise that the man depicted is a fanatic "distorting" the Muslim faith. The only suggestion is that Mohammed, a Muslim prophet, would drive a truck bomb, just as the ad campaign suggested Jesus Christ would drive an eco-friendly vehicle.

Marlette also excuses his cartoon by saying that he has "outraged fundamentalist Christians by skewering Jerry Falwell, Roman Catholics by needling the Pope, and Jews by criticizing Israel." But those aren't equivalents. The Christian equivalent would be a depiction of Jesus -- or even the Pope or Falwell -- molesting a child or drowning children in the bathtub. Or, to use Marlette's image, a pastor or rabbi at the wheel of a Ryder truck loaded with fertilizer and headed toward Oklahoma City. I doubt we'll see those cartoons from Marlette.

Marlette finally falls back on the argument that his critics are humorless and therefore he is the victim of intolerance. He should just admit that his cartoon isn't funny and doesn't convey the message he claims it does.

Sully Gets It

Somehow, Sully gets it right in this excellent little Paglia-esque riff:

TOP TEN WINNERS OF 2002:...

9. Roger Ailes, for kicking media ass.

Perfect. Of course, Andy's referring to Roger Ailes' clarifying and uplifting expose of the Hate-Americans-First crowd over at the decadent Moonie Times. Unless he's just sucking up in the vain (and narcissistic) hope of getting some telly time.

Inexplicably, Sully left off the hyperlink.

In return, I'd like to given Sully the 2002 Pruden Award. For kissing media asses, natch.

The Majesty of the Marketplace

"IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

Dear Free-Market.Net members and supporters,

We regret to announce that we have suspended operations. The Henry Hazlitt Foundation, our non-profit corporation, has always been a small organization, 'living on the edge,' and 2002 just hit our funding too hard for us to recover." -- free-market.net

They Are The N.R.A.

In Southampton, Pa., Daniel Strouss, 19, was charged in an alleged revenge-shooting months after the victim, a friend of his, purportedly gave him a "wedgie" at a concert. In Gary, Ind., Stephen D. Walker, 22, was charged with shooting a longtime friend during an argument over which of the two was the better friend. In Godley, Tex., a 20-year-old man was fatally shot as he was wrestling for a gun with a 21-year-old man. Police said the two had been aggressively debating which of the two was more likely to get to Heaven. --Washington Post, Dec. 29

Toe Suckers For Trent

Dick Morris, the human foot-in-mouth disease, equates a self-inflicted job demotion with terrorism:

Ousted because he spoke well of Strom Thurmond, who broke with Truman over anti-lynching legislation, [Lott] now swings from a tree in Washington.

Wingnut Loser of the Week

The aptly-named Brian Doltzer is a poor man's Ben Shapiro. Here's Doltzer, the protege of Biblical prophesy nut Hal Lindsey, adding his own special insights to some warmed over (and debunked) Gore-bashing:

Is it possible that Gore�s inability to keep his facts straight is due to his misunderstanding of biblical scripture? After all, it was Al Gore who claimed that the story of Cain and Abel was intended to warn us about the great danger pollution poses. [Para.] In Gore�s own book, Earth in the Balance, he states that �the first instance of �pollution� in the Bible occurs when Cain slays Abel.� Though he did not lie about anything regarding Cain and Abel, I find it somewhat odd that the media didn�t have a field day with Gore�s interpretation of Genesis chapter four and his failed attempt in divinity school....

Where was the media when Al Gore failed to identify George Washington and Benjamin Franklyn while at Monticello? (Perhaps the media was too busy salivating over the pop quiz given to George Bush by a reporter regarding the leaders of India, Pakistan, Chechnya, and Taiwan, of which Bush answered correctly only one. Of these six people, how many can you identify? Pervez Musharraf, Atal Bihari Vajpayee, Aslan Maskhadov, Chen Shui-bian, George Washington, and Benjamin Franklyn.)

Someone Raptured this boy's brain and forgot to tell him.

Ship Of Fools

[T]he former president George Bush senior and former first lady Barbara, as well as their son Jeb, the Governor of Florida, and a host of minor relations and a hefty security detail are aboard the good ship Disney Wonder bound from Fort Canaveral to the Bahamas....

No comment was available from the 41st president but his son Jeb was brushing aside the medical risks. "I'm not worried at all about the health issue; I'm more worried about just being on a boat, getting along without e-mail and stuff," he said with a laugh.

Thursday night's departure of the Disney Wonder was delayed for an hour because two unidentified Bush granddaughters were late. President George W Bush's daughters Jenna and Barbara were listed on the ship's manifest, although it was not immediately known if they were the latecomers on what a spokeswoman described as a "much-deserved and needed personal family vacation". The President has flown to his ranch in Texas for a two-week break with his wife, Laura.

Although the sickness plaguing the cruise industry is far from life-threatening, it is most unpleasant. The symptoms include acute stomach pains, diarrhoea and vomiting, and can last up to a week.

The Bush clan, it is claimed, will not be enjoying any special privileges, apart from the secret service entourage. The family will be eating in the main dining room with others of the 2,500 passengers, and no part of the vessel will be sealed off.

Poppy and the grandaughters were looking for a place where they'd have an excuse for vomiting in public. The "minor relations" include Neil, Marvin and Doro. Meanwhile, Noelle was left at home, a severe blow to the Bahamian economy.

[deleted upon further consideration]

No More Bigots In The G.O.P.

Having removed the last vestiges of bigotry from its ranks by demoting Trent Lott, the Party of Lincoln was shocked to find intolerance within the faithful in Jesse Helms' home state.

The Web site of a North Carolina county Republican organization today removed a link to another site with anti-Islamic statements after receiving criticism from a Muslim group.

The Guilford County Republican Party's site, guilfordgop.org, includes the usual color photographs of Senator-elect Elizabeth Dole and President Bush, and election information and meeting schedules. But among its links was one to a site called IslamExposed.com, which describes Islam as "one of the greatest evils on our planet."

"This false religion is nothing more than a barbaric occult invented by savages for savages," the site said.

Update (12/29) (via Atrios): Mark A.R. Kleiman and MWO scooped the Times by two months. Somehow, it's all Howell Raines' fault.

Postal Fraud Uncovered

From Eleanor Clift, via Atrios:

To underscore that he�s not a captive of Washington, President Bush�s Christmas card this year is postmarked Crawford, Texas, although the return address reads, �The White House, Washington, D.C. 20500.� But the record 1.7 million cards the Bushes sent were too much to handle for the Crawford post office, which is a two-person operation. To accommodate Bush�s down-home image, the post office arranged for the cards to be stamped in Austin, where a special dye was ordered to authenticate the Crawford postmark. Bush, who spent Christmas at Camp David, is apparently the first president to insist on an out-of-town postmark.

From 18 U.S.C. Sec. 503:

Whoever forges or counterfeits any postmarking stamp, or impression thereof with intent to make it appear that such impression is a genuine postmark, or makes or knowingly uses or sells, or possesses with intent to use or sell, any forged or counterfeited postmarking stamp, die, plate, or engraving, or such impression thereof, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than five years, or both.

Tayloring His Resume To Fit This Year's Fascism

One of Ken Starr's most useful idiots is at it again, currying favor with the politically powerful and hopelessly corrupt. In a recent edition of National Journal (and Atlantic online), Stuart Taylor Jr. sings the praises of that "brainy [and] technologically adept" criminal John Poindexter and Poindexter's Total Information Awareness program. Taylor praises Poindexter as a "a well-meaning patriot cursed with abysmal judgment...."

Just how patriotic is Poindexter? Well, in 1990, he was convicted by a jury of five felonies: one count of conspiring to obstruct official inquiries and proceedings, two counts of obstructing Congress, and two counts of false statements to Congress. He destroyed documents and computer records concerning his illegal Iran-Contra activities. He first claimed that he was acting without the President's authority, but then claimed at his criminal trial that he was following orders.
His activities were summarized by Independent Counsel Lawrence Walsh as follows:

-- Count One ... Poindexter conspired with North and Secord to obstruct congressional inquiries of Iran- and contra-related matters, to make false statements to Congress, and to falsify, remove and destroy official documents.

-- Count Two ... Poindexter obstructed Congress in 1986 when it was investigating media allegations that North was raising funds and providing military aid to the contras. In letters to three committees, Poindexter answered questions by repeating denials McFarlane made before Congress in 1985 of North's involvement in contra-support activities, even though Poindexter knew the denials to be false. He set up a meeting with the House Intelligence Committee in August 1986 in which he knew North would have to give false testimony, and afterward congratulated North on his performance.

-- Count Three ... Poindexter obstructed Congress in November 1986 by participating with North in the preparation of false chronologies of the secret U.S. arms sales to Iran and by making false statements to the House and Senate intelligence committees. Specifically, Poindexter falsely asserted that no U.S. official knew before January 1986 that HAWK missiles had been shipped to Iran in November 1985. The indictment stated that North as early as November 20, 1985, told Poindexter about the shipment in advance and advised him of it again after the fact in late 1985.

-- Counts Four and Five ... Poindexter made false statements about the HAWK shipment to the House and Senate intelligence committees on November 21, 1986. As in Count Three, the false statement charges were based on North's informing Poindexter about the shipment in 1985.

Now, that's patriotism.

Taylor, who is equal parts moron and hysteric, concludes that Poindexter's TIA is a great idea because: "I, for one, am a lot less worried about the government snooping through my credit card bills and psychiatric records than about being anthraxed in the subway or killed by a nuclear explosion in my downtown Washington office." Of course, if Taylor has no objections to the government reviewing his private information, he can easily drop it in a FedEx mailer and send it over to Johnno anytime he wants. What Taylor is really less worried about is the government snooping through everyone else's credit card bills and psychiatric records. Hysterical amnesia has caused Stu to forgot not only the crimes of Iran-Contra but also those of Watergate, the Hoover FBI and the Starr OIC.

What's missing from the article by the National Journal's Legal Affairs columnist (and a Harvard Law School grad)? That's right: any discussion of the role of the judicial branch of government. Poindexter's plan -- which Taylor endorses -- completely bypasses judicial oversight and constitutional requirement of probable cause. Stu either has forgotten about the Fourth Amendment, or is willing to piss it away in order to hand over power to criminals like Poindexter.

When last we saw Taylor, he was entertaining job offers from the corrupt Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr while simultaneously reporting on Starr's activities for the National Journal. (As one commentator put it, Taylor "turned down [the] Starr job offer to be his official spokesman [and] decided to remain unofficial.") There may be a job as Poindexter's official flack in Stu's future -- if there isn't one already.

Someone recently asked in the comments why I dislike Mickey Kaus -- is it because he used to be a Democrat? One reason is that he isn't much of a writer or, at least, he doesn't put any effort into his writing. For example:

Pareles also misses the most important, and highly relevant, geopolitical incident in which The Clash figures: The playing of the band's "Rock the Casbah" as the first song on U.S. Armed Forces radio in Saudi Arabia during the buildup to 1991's Operation Desert Storm -- this despite a lot of talk about the need not to offend delicate Saudi sensibilities. At the time, I remember thinking that the choice of this song --which seems to mock Wahabi repression and features the somewhat provocative line, "Drop your bombs between the minarets/Down the Casbah way" -- represented much of what's good about Americans. It was a big "F--- Y--" to Saudi censors, as in "You want us to defend your country, well you can't tell us what music to listen to, buddy!" Now I'm not so sure if gratuitously irritating strict Islamic moralists -- as if there really was no room for a culture without Britney Spears in a free, democratic world -- was such a brilliant idea.

The premise of the post -- that Kaus gives a shit about the Clash -- is a dubious one to begin with. But look at this mess as a work of writing.

"At the time, I remember thinking..." is wrong. (Are you reminiscing about reminiscing, Mick, or remembering something at the same time you're thinking it? No.) "At the time, I thought" or "I remember thinking at the time" is the proper way to express the concept.

And what's with "F--- Y--"? Even if Kaus had a legitimate reason not to write "fuck," is there any reason to censor "you" as well?

Look at the last sentence. What does it mean? 9/11 was blowback from the decision to broadcast "Rock the Casbah" to U.S. troops in Saudi Arabia? Censorship of pop music you don't like is consistent with freedom and democracy? Saudi Arabia is a free, democratic country? Kaus may think he's making a point, but his sentence is so muddled that it's entirely meaningless.

Update (12/28): Somebody get this fool an editor. Here's his latest effort at sentence construction: "Trying to balancing the budget by cutting Medicare -- aggressive!"

Update II (12/29): Kaus re-writes again! Wee Mickey has again changed a comment without noting the fact. He's modified a second to last paragraph to add a fifth option to his closing query. The added option is option (c); (d) also has been modified. But he doesn't bother to change "Trying to balancing." Another good reason to loathe Mick? You, the reader make the call!

"First Cloned Human Being Born: 'We Call Her Eve!' Says Scientist"

One can only imagine Peggy Noonan's reaction if this is confirmed.

Update (12/27): According to the local news this morning, the child has been named Eve.

The Poll That Wasn't Was There

Liberal Oasis cites a December 17-18 Time/CNN Poll which shows Bush's approval ratings at their lowest since September 2001. Liberal Oasis reports that the poll's not online, and skepticism about the existence of the poll has been voiced in some quarters. But CNN's site does reference a poll which confirms at least one of the numbers quoted by Liberal Oasis (Bush's trustworthiness rating). The CNN link also notes that only 54 percent of respondents approve of Bush's handling of foreign affairs and only 44 percent can stomach the Bush economy.

So why isn't the whole poll online? And why is CNN leading with the approval of Bush's advisers rather than the criticism of Bush himself?

(Story via Tom Spencer at Thinking It Through. CNN link also noted here.)

Alberto "Funeralgate" Gonzales White House's Top Pick To Replace Rehnquist

That's one Hispanic person Rehnquist won't be able to stop from voting.

Sleeping With The Enemy

Former HUD Secretary and failed Democratic primary candidate Andrew Cuomo is writing a "What Went Wrong For The Democrats" book for Random House, Newsday reports. Cuomo is soliciting contributions for the book from Peggy Noonan and J.C. Watts, in addition to Democrats. He is also quoted as stating "[w]e didn't have a philosophy. ... We had a critique of the Republicans, but we didn't have a Democratic vision."

Sounds like Cuomo's got J.F.K. Jr. disease: putting self-promotion above principle. Why would any sane Democrat solicit advice from a lunatic whose last bit of advice for the Democrats was "to get a good psychologist and a good holy man or woman...." (To add slander to insult, Nooner was claiming to speak for Paul Wellstone, one week after his death.)

If Andrew can't find a vision for the Democratic party, he might want to try this one:

[T]he first principle of our Democratic commitment ...[i]s the politics of inclusion, the solemn obligation to create opportunity for all our people. Not just the fit and the fortunate....[Para.] All the people, from wherever. No matter how recently. Of whatever color, of whatever creed, of whatever sex, of whatever sexual orientation, all of them equal members of the American family, and the neediest of them deserving the most help from the rest of us. That is the fundamental Democratic predicate. Surrender that Democratic principle and we might just as well tear the donkeys from our lapels, pin elephants on instead, and retreat to elegant estates behind ivy-covered walls, where, when they detect a callus on their palms, they conclude it's time to put down their polo mallet.

Sound familiar, Andy? Your pals Peg and J.C. call it "class warfare." Others call it economic justice.

I'll Take Sansovino's Loggetta For $200

For those interested in an actual test of knowledge, try the 2002 King William's College General Knowledge Paper.

Reading it through once, I was only able to answer ten questions with certainty. According to the Guardian, the average score on the paper is two (when it was last scored), which I guess means I'm brighter than the average upper-class spotty 16-year-old enrolled in English private school.

Year-in-Review Quiz

Test your recollection of the past year's events with this general knowledge quiz. You have one hour to complete the quiz. Please use a sharpened number 2 pencil -- to taunt Bill Frist.

1. Which of the following did Newsweek's Howard Fineman not write about George W. Bush in 2002:

a) "He�s the Texas Ranger of the World, and wants everyone to know it. He�s the guy with the silver badge, issuing warnings to the cattle rustlers."

b) "After questions were raised last week about ('What He Knew'), his numbers went UP, as the American people basically shouted, 'Leave him alone!' Why? For one, he�s done a good job so far as war commander, making the right decisions in the days and months after 9/11. ...[M]ost everyone else (including some Democrats) thinks he�s a straight-shooter and, more important, a rare and precious type to have found his way into the Oval Office: a regular guy with regular guy values and instincts."

c) "I'd put my integrity into a blind trust for Bush, but I don't really have any."

2. According to the FEC, what percentage of campaign contributions (including soft money, individual and PAC contributions) did Enron give to Republicans in the 2002 election cycle:

a) 50 percent

b) 78 percent

c) 94 percent

d) 110 percent, according to Arthur Andersen

3. In June 2002, George Bush said the following to Army Secretary Thomas White:

a) "Afghanstan. Iraq. What's the difference? They all look the same from here."

b) "As long as they're hitting you on Enron, they're not hitting me. That's your job. You're the lightning rod for this administration."

c) "Karl knows where your children live."

4. According to the United States Department of Labor Bureau of Labor Statistics, the most dangerous job in the United States is:

a) Truck driver

b) Firefighter

c) Meat packer

d) Altar boy, Boston Archdiocese

5. Who said in 2002: "My most enduring image of Ken Starr was formed in the men's room outside his office on the afternoon of Jan. 15, 1998."

a) Michael Isikoff

b) Robert Ray

c) Ted Olson

d) Lucianne Goldberg

6. Which corporation is responsible for the biggest domestic fraud uncovered in the past eighteen months?

a) Enron

b) Global Crossing

c) WorldCom

d) Random House, parent company of the publisher of Slander: Liberal Lies About The American Right

7. Match the Reverend Graham to the bigoted comment (Your choices are Billy and Franklin):

a) "The Arabs will not be happy until every Jew is dead. They hate the state of Israel. They all hate the Jews."

b) "This stranglehold [by the Jews] has got to be broken or the country's going down the drain."

8. Which is of the following is not an Andrew Sullivan comment regarding Bush's 2002 State of the Union Address:

a) "He understands that the danger is still enormous; that the risks still huge; the price of failure unthinkable."

b) "Also surprising and perhaps important: Iran was mentioned before Iraq. For those of you who remember, this is a re-emphasis I've been arguing for for a while. It was extremely encouraging to see it in the speech."

c) "This is the Bush who started a 'stickball' team at college and christened it 'the Nads,' so as to ensure that the chants from the stands would be 'Go Nads! Go Nads!'"

9. Conservative commentators found highly significant the religious beliefs of which criminal newsmaker(s) from the year 2002:

a) Andrea Yates

b) Fred J. Neulander

c) John Allen Muhammed

d) Irv Rubin

e) Clayton Lee Waagner

f) c. but not a., b., d. or e.

10. Which of the following Washington Times writers is not an apologist for the Confederacy, racial segregation and/or "scientific" theories of racial inferiority:

a) Robert Stacy McCain

b) Wes Pruden

c) Paul Craig Roberts

d) Andrew Sullivan

e) None of the above

11. According to an unnamed "expert" quoted on CNN, Osama bin Laden is:

a) Alive

b) Dead

c) Both a. and b.

d) Neither a. nor b.

e) Either a. or b., but not both

12. Which of these did Peggy Noonan not say in print in 2002:

a) "I have received not hundreds but thousands of the most personal and obscene denunciations; I have received death threats; I have been threatened with blackmail; I have been informed that I do not deserve to live."

b) "My friend sent the story because once, in conversation, I had told him I feared cloning was the key, that the big headline I feared is 'First Cloned Human Being Born: "We Call Him Adam!" Says Scientist.' I had told my friend I thought there would be few happy headlines after that one. Because, as the bible says and Sam Ervin quoted, God is not mocked."

c) "I don't care what any of you say, Ronald Reagan is the father of my son. Do you hear me?"

13. In a written statement issued in December, Trent Lott gave the following reason for withdrawing from his position as Republican Senate Majority Leader:

a) "In the interest of pursuing the best possible agenda for the future of our country...."

b) So he wouldn't have to celebrate Kwanzaa.

c) Karl Rove threatened to tell Lott's home state supporters that Lott's toupee included mixed-race hair.

14. In December 2002, Mickey Kaus revealed in Slate that blogger Atrios is actually:

a) Sid Blumenthal

b) Maggie Gyllenhaal

c) Thor Heyerdahl

d) Ten times the reporter and writer that Kaus is

15. George W. Bush's most formidible opponent in the year 2002 was:

a) Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle

b) Iraqi President Saddam Hussein

c) Mr. Salty

Roger Ailes will not be publishing on December 24 or 25.

Tomorrow night, I'm going to be haunted by three spirits. Then, on Wednesday morning, I'll run to the window, open it, and shout out "What's to-day?" to an urchin or ragamuffin loitering below. So I'm pretty booked.

Beginning on Thursday, however, there'll be more year-end crap than you can shake a stick at, including a "Year-in-Review Quiz." And a longer-than-usual comment, "America's Hitler."

God bless us, every one!

Death or Glory

"'N' every gimmick hungry yob digging gold from rock 'n' roll
Grabs the mike to tell us he'll die before he's sold
But I believe in this, and it's been tested by research
That he who fucks nuns will later join the church"

-- Joe Strummer and Mick Jones

Anyone having trouble coming up with enough candidates for Pandagon's Most Annoying Conservatives List should browse the Hardball transcripts page. In the last five shows, Tweety's guests included:

Bill Bennett, Peggy Noonan, Pat Buchanan, Bob Dornan (twice), John Fund, Armstrong Williams, David Gergen, Mike Barnicle, Janet Parshall, Christopher Shays, Laura Ingraham, Joe Scarborough (twice), Mitch McConnell, J.C. Watts, Cliff May, Terry Jeffrey, Arlen Specter, Howard Fineman (twice), Frank Luntz and Pat Caddell.

That's twenty right there; twenty-one counting Matthews himself.

Only a lunatic like Mona Charen could think that MSNBC is part of the "liberal media."

Buffalo Chickenhawk Wings

Here's Pumpkinhead's smear:

MR. RUSSERT: Cardinal McCarrick, you have a particularly delicate role as a member of the clergy, balancing support for our men and women in the armed service and also the morality of war. The Catholic bishops had a statement in November suggesting we still had not met the threshold in terms of Iraq. How do you wrestle with that? Supporting, being patriotic, and yet, the moral consequences of war. (Italics added.)

For Russert, patriotism and support for members of the armed services are in direct opposition to concerns for the moral consequences of war. Russert can't concieve that opposition to a future war against Iraq is patriotic and/or supportive of U.S. troops. Funnily enough, it doesn't appear that Little Russ wrestled much with these issues in his own life.

A Waksal And A Wake

Maybe I'm reading this wrong, but it kinda looks like Sam Waksal was doing both Martha and her daughter.

Advantage: Kausfiles!

Senator Lott has adopted Mickey Kaus's theory: It's all Sid Blumenthal's fault.

Well done, Mick!

Shoplifters Have All The Fun

"The most commonly stolen items in Britain last year were razor blades, cosmetics, lingerie, whisky, condoms, magazines, designer clothes, shoes, smoked salmon and radios." -- The Observer

Meet-y, Beaty, Tim and Bouncy

I only caught the latter half of G.E. Pumpkinhead's "Thoughts For The Holidays" program, but from the tone of the program it certainly looks like only one of the eleven questions below was even touched upon by Little Russ (as Maureen O. calls him). In full Bushlick mode, Tim asked Cardinal McCarrick how the U.S. Bishops "balanced patriotism" with criticism of the War against Iraq. (I will post the exact quote when the transcript becomes available.)

Yes, Pumpkinhead's "thought" for the holidays is that opposition to the Bush Administration's foreign policy is unpatriotic.

Update (12/23): The transcript indicates that Pumpkinhead did allude to the priest molestation scandal. Cardinal McCarrick interposed a Trent Lott defense, saying that the Church "handed the ammunition" to its critics. To be fair to McCarrick, I'm not aware of any molestation cover-ups in McCarrick's jurisdiction.

Bob Novak's red sweater vest is the first sign that the dreaded "Year In Review" season is already upon us. Atrios alerts us that Pumpkinhead's annual Xmas-week snooze-fest with Laura Bush, Rudy Giuliani and Cardinal Theodore McCarrick will be broadcast on tomorrow's "Meet the Press."

Let's see how many of the following topics will be covered on the program:

1. Pedophile priests.

2. Giuliani's support for abortion rights.

3. The U.S. Bishops' opposition to a war against Iraq.

4. Giuliani's adultery.

5. Laura Bush's (alleged) support for abortion rights.

6. The U.S. Bishops' opposition to the death penalty.

7. Rudy and Judy's 15-officer NYPD security detail.

8. George Bush's failure to deliver to New York City the federal relief funds promised after 9/11.

9. Trent Lott's (and George Bush's) support for the anti-Catholic BJU.

That should fill an hour's worth of conversation.

Anything I've left out?

NPR, the so-called news organization and alleged alternative to all-wingnut AM radio, missed the Lott story almost completely. But every day this week, on All Things Considered, it had time (eight minutes plus) for a "radio comedy" called "I'd Rather Eat Pants." Yes, it was even less funny than it sounds, if that is possible. Not surprisingly, Susan Stamberg was involved. NPR is becoming, more than ever, Nothing Particularly Relevant.

Chickenhawk Down

Pat Buchanan is called on his avoidance of service during Vietnam, and loses it.

BUCHANAN: Dan you aren�t the only guy that went through this experience in one way or another. And not everybody that didn�t come to your conclusion that we ought to sabotage the war was wrong.
ELLSBERG: Pat you didn�t know many people in Vietnam.
BUCHANAN: A lot of my friends from high school were still there.
ELLSBERG: You didn�t manage to make it did you?
BUCHANAN: No, I was in the White House, that�s right.
ELLSBERG: Pardon me.
BUCHANAN: You made it and you turned on the guys over there.
ELLSBERG: It was your bad football knee, if I�m not mistaken.
PRESS: Let�s just say...
ELLSBERG: (UNINTELLIGIBLE) At 30, we�re getting a little personal here. I�ll just mention I�m the man at this table, and I don�t know about you Bill, who exposed himself to communist shot and shell in Vietnam using my former Marine background, my belief in the war, which was not unlike yours at the time, led me to Vietnam to do what I could to win it. My conclusions as to whether we could win it were gained in rice patties in Vietnam, not where you...
BUCHANAN: You helped to lose it.
ELLSBERG: By the way you weren�t in the White House during those years. You were draft age and you didn�t manage to...
BUCHANAN: That�s bull shit.
PRESS: We�ve got to go for some breaking-Daniel Ellsberg.
ELLSBERG: If I�m wrong...
BUCHANAN: You�re wrong.

It's much overdue (which I can blame in part on Blogger), but a big thank you is definitely in order.

This is the nicest thing anyone has ever said about Roger Ailes.

(Which is not meant to discourage anyone who has something even nicer to say.)

The drinks are on me, James.

Christmas With The Crackers

In the latest of its attempts to rehabilitate the traitorous South, the Moonie Times brings us a holiday tale of "the Confederates in Virginia manag[ing] to have some jolly times at Christmas even with a war under way."

I can picture Wes Pruden at home, reading this narrative to his grandchildren in front of a blazing Yule Cross.

Lies Of The Moonie Times

The lying scumbags at Amerikkka's Paper are at it again. The vile Ellen Sorokin rewrites some wire copy with this lead:

People who live in Third World countries might have a better view of the United States if Americans followed Osama bin Laden's example of being "a good neighbor so people there have a different vision of us," said U.S. Sen. Patty Murray, Washington Democrat.

Of course, what Murray actually said, in a speech to high school students, was that providing economic aid to poor nations would "cost a lot of money," but "war is expensive, too. Your generation ought to be thinking about whether we should be better neighbors out in other countries so that they have a different vision of us. It is a debate I think we ought to have."

Nothing about following bin Laden's example, or about bin Laden being a "good neighbor."

Has there ever been a newspaper so corrupt and despicable?

Helen Thomas Slaps The Talking Penis, And The Press Whores Too

The issue [of Rove's orders to dump Lott] surfaced at a White House briefing yesterday morning, when Fleischer complained to the assembled reporters about "assertions that are not backed up."

"Just because they're not backed up doesn't mean they're not true," cracked CBS's Bill Plante.

"Well, that's a heck of a standard for thorough, probing journalism," Fleischer said.

"Taking your word for it is not a standard either," retorted columnist Helen Thomas.

Segregation Bad, Public Education Worse?

Nooner's latest drivel contains a cryptic comment:

Some of us have put our reputations in jeopardy by supporting programs like the school liberation movement because we want to help people who don't have much and need a break. Or we've put ourselves in jeopardy by opposing racial preferences, or any number of other programs, for the very reason that we believe completely in our hearts and minds that all races are equal and no one should be judged by the color of his skin. And then some guy comes along and speaks the old code of yesteryear and seems to reinforce the idea that those who hold conservative positions are really, at heart, racist. We are indignant, and we have been for a long time.

In the Lott scandal our indignation reached critical mass. A lot of conservatives, many of them 50 and under, decided enough is enough, let's end this, let a new party be born. And by the way, in the particular case of Trent Lott, it didn't start yesterday. Stanley Crouch just surprised me by sending me a column he wrote almost four years ago for the New York Daily News. It was about a Lott appearance before the Council of Conservative Citizens, a white-supremacist group. I said it was springtime and it's time to throw out the garbage, and Mr. Lott should go. Go to the archives of conservative journals and see what they've been writing and thinking for a long time about race. This is a good time to get real conservative thinking out there and known for what it is.

I probably will be the seven thousandth person to point out the contradiction between Peggy's "long time" "indignation" at conservative racism and her "surprise" at learning of Lott's ties to the CCC. If prolific Peg's indignation at conservative racism is so longstanding, I guess she will have no trouble pointing us to previous examples of such moral outrage.

What's really interesting here Nooner's reference to the "school liberation movement." At first, I took it to mean that old crock of crap, "school choice" aka vouchers. In this column, Nooner refers to the school liberation movement as "the most hopeful proposal of our time to make government schools better." As an example, she cites "people like Teddy Forstmann [who] cough[ed] up their own money to make $100 million in voucher scholarships available for kids, the ambitious disadvantaged...." Now, a program involving a rich guy giving money to disadvantaged grade school children to attend private schools is the exact opposite of "vouchers," which involves taxpayer subsidies of private schools. And, of course, there is nothing whatsoever controversial about a wealthy private citizen giving his or her own money to help poor kids pay for private school. So, Nooner either (a) is blowing smoke up our collective asses about "the jeopardy to her reputation," (b) is delusional about the same, (c) or means something other than Forstmann's program when she refers to the school liberation movement.

Now, Peg has already made the case that she is both delusional and deceptive, but let me suggest a possible alternative. The term "school liberation movement" is used by groups which advocate the abolition of all public schools and all taxpayer funding of public schools. Marshall Fritz, the founder of the Alliance for the Separation of Church and State, describes the movement as follows:

Our job in the "School Liberation Movement" is to restore the conviction that parents must determine and provide for the education of their children. This means infusing into the American soul the belief that we must separate schools from politics. It means infusing this as deeply as we now hold that chattel slavery is wrong.

A search of the site does not reveal Nooner as one who signed the petition supporting Fritz's movement. (Many of the usual wingnuts -- including Randall Terry, Joseph Sobran, Marvin Olasky and Tim LaHaye -- are.) But Google searches of the phrase "school liberation movement" lead only to Fritz's organization and back to Nooner's column itself.

Peg complains about Lott speaking in code. But what code is Peg speaking in when she refers to the school liberation movement?

Update (12/22): penalcolony has a critical (in both good senses) analysis of my comment here.

Norah! Norah! Norah!

A petty little tail-gunner goes down in flames.

Lott Must Go

Why, look, he's still there.

And so the little P.R. exercise of the right has concluded. The man so vile he could not lead the Republicans -- but is perfectly qualified to serve with them and vote with them -- has surrendered his leadership position. Problem solved. Closure. The Republican Party is racist no more.

My opinions are not meant to disparage anyone who criticized Lott or who was offended by his statements. That criticism is well deserved. But Lott's racist views were well known for years. So if you didn't condemn Lott during the first century of Strom Thumond's life, you're a little too late to the party now. Particular credit is due to those on the left who emphasized (and in some instances unearthed) Lott's past transgressions, aborting Lott's attempts to pass off his recent remarks as offhand or unthinking comments. My criticism is for those in the Republican Party and on the right who think taking away Lott's leadership title changes anything. It doesn't.

And Senator Lott will remain in the Senate until his one-hundredth birthday, should he choose to do so and should he live so long.

Blogger's archive feature has disappeared in part (look right), making it impossible to link to certain items on on other blogs. I will be linking again when service has been restored.

Meanwhile, "blog" and "Blogger" are the only words listed here which Roger Ailes will be using from this glossary, except in cases of severe ridicule.

Well, I guess I will keep using "wankers" as well, but only in its original usage. (And along with appropriate modifiers, "chronic," "pathetic," "spotty," &c.)

(Found via the immensely talented Quiddity Quack.)

Domino's introduces its newest pizza, the "Justice Thomas with everything."

Lichter? He Drooled All Over 'Er

Poor Chickenhawk Kelly. He never saw it coming.

Rest in Peace, Chickenhawk

Update: More piling on.

Update II (12/21): Now fortified with a direct link to TBogg's comments.

Personal Responsibility At Its Finest

David Keene has severe emotional problems.

He was institutionalized numerous times, beginning at age 8.

He has poor emotional control.

He has an exaggerated belief that he is in danger.

So, of course, his parents did what any loving parent would do: Gave him a BMW and a gun.

Oh, and his fiance claims she was trying to grab the gun from him -- which he was brandishing while driving -- and it "accidentally" went off.

Sounds like they haven't quite settled on a defense yet.

David's daddy happens to be the president of the American Conservative Union. And Daddy has just named another mentally-disturbed individual with poor emotional control and poorer weapons-handling abilities to the ACU's "21st Century Chair for Privacy and Freedom." Yes, it's Former Congressman Bob Barr.