RIP IT ALL TO SHREDS AND LET IT GO
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| Roger Ailes RIP IT ALL TO SHREDS AND LET IT GO |
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Saturday, July 26, 2008 Don't let the doorAll things must pass: Jeff Goldstein has left Protein Wisdom.
posted by Anthony Cartouche | | 7:36 PM
This news came as quite a shock to me, as I had no idea that Protein Wisdom was still in operation. So long, Jeff. You'll be missed. By Pablo, Dan Collins, and Doreen. I doubt that anyone else will give a shit. Disappointed This may be harsh, but I think that a fair percentage of this song is apropos for what Barack Obama said about Iran. Disappointed Promises Promises Old tired Worn out second hand sentences Disappointed a few people When friendship reared its ugly head Disappointed a few people Well, isn't that what friends are for What are friends for This erratic haphazard Fluttering This to-ing and fro-ing Like a confused moth The collusion Illusion And it's all ad infinitum posted by RonB | | 2:37 PM Again-Go Easy on Scottie I have maintained for some time that Scott McLellan, although a shill for the White House, has the potential to be a whistleblower-not a significant one, but it's important to hear a renegade staffer confirm what we suspected: On MSNBC’s Hardball last night, host Chris Matthews asked former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan if he saw “FOX television as a tool” to get the White House’s “message out” while he was in the Bush administration. “Certainly there were commentators and other, pundits at FOX News, that were useful to the White House,” replied McClellan, adding that they were given “talking points.” Making a distinction between journalists like Brit Hume and commentators like Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly, McClellan admitted that “certainly” the White House used Fox News talking heads as “spokespeople” with “a script”. McClellan later told MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann that “it was done frequently, especially on high-profile issues” and that Fox often gave the White House “its desired results.” Current Press Secretary Dana Perino would only tell Olbermann, “I’m not aware of that.”I mean, what's she going to say? "Hey-you got us. Any other gotchas out there?" What a load off that would be. She'd probably cry. 
posted by RonB | | 12:38 PM
Voila! Leave it to Johnny McCain to fuck logic by inferring that a) the surge is too complimacated for the plebes to understand and then b)Bush's executive order to offshore drill here is what caused the drop in gas prices. As Tom says: Isn’t this great? Do you realize what this means??? Just think of the incredible implications of McCain’s revelation. We don’t need to drill for oil any more!. All we have to do is say we’re going to, and — Presto! Lower prices! Even Peroxide Perino is a little mystified by his assertions: The White House didn't go that far. Presidential spokeswoman Dana Perino said the price drop also could reflect diminished demand. "I don't know if we fully deserve the credit," Perino said. Does McCain in his quieter moments wonder why that goddamn albatross is hung squarely around his neck?  Excellent timing of that shot, no?Weiner Update There have been consequences for Weiner regarding his suggestion that autistic kids just need their ass kicked a little. WHK AM/1420, the only Cleveland-area station carrying Savage's radio talk show, is break ing its contract with Savage's syndicator, Talk Radio Net work, said Mark Jaycox, who manages the Cleveland stations under the Salem Com munications corporate um brella. WHK is owned by Cali fornia-based Sa lem Communi cations. "This guy's a knucklehead, and I want to get rid of him," Jaycox said. Jaycox decided to yank Savage after receiving about two dozen calls and e-mails from parents of autistic children, who said they were hurt by the remarks. “I had one dad almost cry,” Jaycox said. How many near misses is this jagoff going to squeak by on before everyone realizes he's the Gordon Prothero of radio? Seroquel: Freud's Friend Anyone here on Seroquel? If you are, you're still asleep, probably. And, you had a fucked up dream again, which you most likely remember. Mine was a little fuzzy, but I clearly remember working at a supermarket, but for some reason I was wearing my sergeant stripes on my Army uniform. I got demoted(never happened) to Specialist to make room for some other guy to lead the produce section. This really bugged me, so I wrote a long essay on some arcane message about...something. We had a meeting, and while the floor manager read my essay, behind a wall was playing the Dead Kennedys really fucking loud. I have no idea why, probably listening to Lard yesterday. This is the second time that my old job has crept into my distorted ass dreams, and I don't know why I am still hung up on my experiences there. When I first strated on Seroquel, the dreams were super vivid, complicated, and long. The first one involved Ray Wise, and he was a born again Christian who was really getting on my nerves in some hotel I lived in. I pushed one of his minions and he fell down, causing a huge wound. I leapt across a thin ledge of vending machines to get to a pharmacy. Bernadette Peters was the pharmacist, looking quite leggy in a white lab coat. She gave me an ice pack for the dude. Next, I wound up in jail with Ed Asner, playing a game with lunchmeat as the, er, "pieces". You can read the unabridged version of these dreams here and here. I have Googled "seroquel dreams" and this is evidently a phenomenon. Most peoples' dreams are nightmares; mine are just bizarre. If you are on this fucked up drug, tell us about it. I certainly don't want to tell anyone else...namely my doctors. posted by RonB | | 7:30 AM Friday, July 25, 2008 Psst I have a confession to make. Is anyone familiar with the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler? Yeah, I was a member. I had to back off that crowd when they thought that the WTC memorial was in the shape of a fucking Muslim Red Crescent, seen here:  If you are wondering what I was thinking, I can't honestly tell you. I fell for the Fox News line; I was blinded by revenge and righteousness. This is an example of me having my head so far up my ass I tasted shit off my teeth. Anyway, if you are inclined, go have a little ruffhouse with my friends there. Misha has a respectable "hands off" approach to comments, so you can have a little fun, and he doesn't take himself very seriously. Tell him I said hi. Now I'm practically a socialist. Strange days. posted by RonB | | 9:35 PM Ca Plane (Aman)Pour Moi How clever of me to not notice! Fuck, I don't know what that means. Anyone? Did I even get that right? Strange and terrible memories from 120 Minutes. Anyway, archcon Nikolas Sarkozy has an "Oh merde" moment when Christiane Amanpour boxes him into a corner re his shorthand for black rioters in France as le scum: He's right about our treatment of blacks, though. UPDATE: I have neglected to provide readers with the necessary understanding of something called the Plastic Bertrand. Sonic Youth did a cool cover of this. Thanks to ifthethunderdontgetya for the tip. posted by RonB | | 4:39 PM Comics Time My old Amnesty Blogger Day pal Dugan doodles off this patch of crosshatch: 
posted by RonB | | 4:30 PM
Retroactive Reviews Sure, why not go back to yesteryear, when rock was king and poseurs died a horrible death at the hands of the consume-a-tariat. Sweet Jesus, what fuckin' decade am I talking about? Look. I don't know Duke Ellington from Doug Martsch. I have spent 20 years buying records and I am still as square as they come. I have not entered that phase yet where say, Killing Joke, free jazz, or Delta blues has any fascination for me-but I am enough of a rock dilettante to know what good shit is. I need to smoke more marijuana-and then even the Spice Girls will open new vistas as I go thru the smoke rings of my mind. Whatever. I just got Big Star's Third from Amazon. Took me a fucking month to get it, and when it arrived its jewel case was cracked off. Now I have three parts of the damned CD-how fitting. I have all three now, and I can safely say that the 'Mats were right when they said they couldn't go very far without a little Big Star. Big Star purists would agree with me, no doubt(doubtful) that Radio City was their peak. You could tell that Chilton was falling apart, and it showed in his arrangements. You can feel the band reeling best in "Life Is White", and I am a sucker for commercial suicide(see Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" for a good example. I bought it, I admit it. I cannot say that I have listened to all four sides. Until I get some fabulous dank, I imagine I will not). I don't care how manic I get(yo, bipolar in the house, say ho). So, on to Sister Lovers. It is vastly overrated. Most of the album is unfinished, save for "Thank You Friends", which some have interpreted as a backhanded compliment to all of his pals. I don't agree, I regard it as Alex's swan song. Well, not exactly-"Like Flies On Sherbet" has got to win Best Fucking Example Of A Shattered Ego Recording His Artistic Demise. Although he beat the Cramps to punkabilly, and wound up producing, strangely enough, the Cramps' first record. All things considered, it is a good album. It brims with Jerry Lee-like piano plunking, which Big Star always had in their arsenal. If you are depressed, you will grok this puppy. "Holocaust" is the record's nadir, where Chilton sings about dead parents and the like. You get an odd cover of the Velvet's "Femme Fatale", and some more of that echoey piano in "Jesus Christ". "Kangaroo" has shards of feedback roiling through it, which is Alex's first nod to punk/metal. Alex's thin, reedy, nasal voice seems to be crying out that he wish he could quit recording this travesty. Let me take this space to highly recommend "Set", otherwise titled "Loose Shoes Tight Pussy". Chilton is back in form, doing obscure covers in one take. Easily one of my favorite records. I can stop this whorship of nostalgia any time. I was but a twee lad in the seventies (thank whatever), so I don't claim to understand the ethos of the time. I did, however, cut my teeth on the Beatles "White Album"... fave song? You guessed it-Revolution #9. I interspersed this with "Cookie Monster's Greatest Hits" and "Big Bird Sings!" and of course, everyone had by decree to own Rumors, at least one Billy Joel album, Frampton Comes Alive, Boston, the Disco Duck single, and Rhapsody In Blue by the Big Apple Orchestra. Maybe, with the right pot, I will break out my "Superfriends" 45 case and go back to a happier time. posted by RonB | | 3:27 PM Night Sweats Ever go for more than a day without the internet? Christ, that was worse than quitting smoking. I have not quit yet. For those of you with an addictive personality, you understand. What's a gentleman without a vice or two? Not one you can trust. So I'm going to sit here with my Six Shilling Ale from Odell Brewing, pore over the news, take an antidepressant or ten, and get my feet wet again. I really hate that part when your balls first get wet. Ladies, ask your husband/significant other. There's a reason why we are the weaker sex. posted by RonB | | 3:22 PM We meet again, TrebekJosh Fruhlinger, also known as The Comics Curmudgeon, recently appeared on the television quiz show Jeopardy. He wrote about his experience here. I tried out for the show last month and am hoping to be called as a contestant. I'll let you know about it if I do. If I get on and win I might even buy you all a hot dog or something. (Cross-posted at Yazoo Street Scandal.) posted by Anthony Cartouche | | 10:03 AMThursday, July 24, 2008 No sale Born again virgin Dawn Eden attempts to make her case to the Australians and it is painfully obvious that they are not buying Awkward doesn't begin to describe it. posted by Kikuchiyo Jones | | 5:21 PM Folks: I've run into some money trouble lately, and that is the reason for my disappearance. For those of you that give two figs, I'll be back tomorrow with an avalanche of posts that I'm sure will ruffle some feathers(the number, that is). I see you are all in the other Johnsons' hands, so for that I am glad. We hope you are having as good a time reading us as much as we do writing. For three teeny bloggers, this has been a real blast, and I really think Roger is thee shiznit for allowing us to pollute/dilute his blog with vastly inferior snark. Stay classy, intertube surfers! RonB posted by RonB | | 5:15 PM Wednesday, July 23, 2008 Should we file this under #1? Dr. Melissa Clouthier explains the "Five Scariest Things About Barack Obama" and surprisingly not one of them is that he is, you know, one of, (looks both ways and speaking without moving lips)"a b-l-ck man": An evangelical, very religious conservative friend of mine wrote and asked me what scared me about Obama. Well, there’s more than a few things.Unmentioned is the fact that Barack Obama likely views people who pass themselves off as being a "doctor" when they are actually a chiropractor as being a bit disingenuous. But that's just Obama being all elitist and stuff. posted by Kikuchiyo Jones | | 8:23 PM A Little controversyWhat with damn near everybody in the world going nutzoid over Barry Blitt's illustration for the cover of last week's issue of the New Yorker, it's a fair bet that many people never got around to reading the articles and stories inside. And that's too bad, because they missed out on a wonderful, absorbing article by Jill Lepore about the circumstances surrounding the writing, publication, and reception of E.B. White's classic book "Stuart Little." Tuesday, July 22, 2008 McCain to media: Hey, look at me!As much as I admire Josh Marshall and his Talking Points Memo empire, it's safe to say that he is known more for his political acumen and news judgment than for his prose style. But every once in a while he knocks the ball out of the park: As you may know, the McCain campaign has just put out a web video called "Obama Love," a mash-up of clips of various TV commentators gushing over Obama. But let's remember we've all seen the McCain Love video. It's called watching the last dozen years of political television. Indeed, the political press's reckless and giddy love for McCain is so universally acknowledged that McCain himself has often joked about the press as his "base." So what do we have here but a candidate who can't brook the idea of not campaigning on a wave of press adulation? And now he's framing his whole candidacy around a campaign of strategic whining about the claim that the political press is treating his younger opponent like he's been treated for over a decade. He's got the preening and envy of a sore losing runner-up for prom queen. Monday, July 21, 2008 Tomorrow's spin today This wasn't supposed to happen: The White House expressed unhappiness Monday about Iraqi leaders' public backing for Barack Obama's troop withdrawal timetable. And it said that Baghdad may be trying to use the U.S. presidential election as leverage in talks about the future of American's military presence and obligations in the war. How do conservatives spin this?  posted by Kikuchiyo Jones | | 10:07 PM I don't blame the guyLooks like 41 wishes he could trade lives with the probable 44: There’s been plenty of second-guessing from Republican critics about Barack Obama's large-scale public events and speeches scheduled for his visit to Europe this week — but former President George H.W. Bush isn't one of them. I guess if your children included the man whose name is synonymous with "miserable failure" and a married man who had sex with Asian prostitutes while on "business trips," you'd be jealous of just about anyone.
posted by Anthony Cartouche | | 2:58 PM
Sunday, July 20, 2008 Why women become lesbians Without comment.... posted by Kikuchiyo Jones | | 8:52 PM Gramm Cracker Stupid fuck Phil Gramm gets ousted from the Tall Talk Express: News broke at roughly 7:20 p.m ET this evening (July 18, 2008) that John McCain's "economic guru," Phil - whiner - Gramm, stepped down. How many more? By the time November rolls around, it'll just be Johnny and his Robotron 9000 arm jewelry. posted by RonB | | 6:25 AM Awesome Another crimp in McCain's Depends: The clear endorsement of Senator Barack Obama by Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki Saturday morning came as a strong blow to the McCain campaign. McCain has claimed a superiority to Obama in matters of foreign policy as a major selling point to his candidacy for president, but that position is more difficult in the wake of al-Maliki's statement. After hearing of the announcement, a sometime adviser to the McCain campaign said in an email, "We're f**ked," according to Mark Ambinder of The Atlantic. Indeed, you are. Y'all let me know when the clips become a little indulgent. posted by RonB | | 6:07 AM I Just Threw Up A Little In My Mouth From the Weiner Nation: "I'll tell you what autism is. In 99 percent of the cases, it's a brat who hasn't been told to cut the act out. That's what autism is. What do you mean they scream and they're silent? They don't have a father around to tell them, 'Don't act like a moron. You'll get nowhere in life. Stop acting like a putz. Straighten up. Act like a man. Don't sit there crying and screaming, idiot.'" "[I]f I behaved like a fool, my father called me a fool. And he said to me, 'Don't behave like a fool.' The worst thing he said -- 'Don't behave like a fool. Don't be anybody's dummy. Don't sound like an idiot. Don't act like a girl. Don't cry.' That's what I was raised with. That's what you should raise your children with. Stop with the sensitivity training. You're turning your son into a girl, and you're turning your nation into a nation of losers and beaten men. That's why we have the politicians we have." "[W]hy was there an asthma epidemic amongst minority children? Because I'll tell you why: The children got extra welfare if they were disabled, and they got extra help in school. It was a money racket. Everyone went in and was told [fake cough], 'When the nurse looks at you, you go [fake cough], "I don't know, the dust got me." ' See, everyone had asthma from the minority community." Whew. That is one steaming pile of hate. But he has six thousand degrees! One of them is in botany, though-must be a fag. posted by RonB | | 6:02 AM Chavismo Comes To The Live Free Or Die State Free oil, that is: Two years ago, New Hampshire refused to accept heating oil from Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, the pro-Castro U.S. critic who once called President Bush “the devil.” But with fuel prices rising, well, free oil is free oil. With the state’s blessing, New Hampshire residents will be receiving some of the fuel this winter. Discussion time-what is your opinion of Hugo Chavez? I like the guy. He heads one of the few countries that ignore Bush prick-waving, and never misses an opportunity to jab a finger in Chimpster's eye. Another McCain Surrogate Opens His Big Fuggin' Trap Yo, John Boy-does this guy speak for you or himself? One of John McCain's fellow POW's in Vietnam defended the war in Iraq, saying, "The Muslims have said either we kneel or they're going to kill us.''In a phone call with reporters arranged by Republican Party of Florida, Colonel Bud Day added: "I don't intend to kneel and I don't advocate to anybody that we kneel, and John doesn't advocate to anybody that we kneel. Blubbity blibber, click, pting! What fucking alternate universe are this people coming from? How do you paint 1/4 of the world's population with a brush the size of a skyscraper? Perhaps the Superman universe? posted by RonB | | 5:22 AM Crazy Dan No wait, wrong Dan. Here's another Crazy Dan: Damn, dude, at least correct yourself. Someone correct him. Jesus. posted by RonB | | 5:16 AM |
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