Sunday, February 10, 2008

Congratulations to Mitt Romney, who has rebounded from his humiliation in the Republican primaries and has found work as the default avatar in the Talking Points Memo comments sections.

Saturday, February 09, 2008

The Further Adventures of Chuck and Muck

Earlier this week, various rightwing blowhards were confronted with their own impotence as the G.O.P. faithful said "Fuck You Very Much" to the blowhards' golden boy, Mitt Romney.

And now that the self-proclaimed opinion leaders have had McCain crammed down their throats, the Republican electorate delivers another pimp slap to Limbaugh, Hewitt, Malkin and the sundry slappees who infest The Corner.

In Republican contests on Saturday, Mike Huckabee won in Kansas, an embarrassing setback for Senator John McCain as he tries to rally the party around him as the nominee. The candidates were battling in Louisiana and Washington, where the results were too close to call. The Associated Press called the Louisiana race for Mr. Huckabee.


The results on the Republican side provided some surprise, particularly since Mr. Huckabee's showings in Kansas and Louisiana came as Mr. McCain seemed headed to the nomination.

Mr. Huckabee declared that the voters had been heard from. "They spoke with one voice," he said. "They said I am the authentic conservative in this race."

The Huckster was a shoo-in in Kansas, where he promised the voters that, if he was elected, God created the world in seven days.

A triumphant Pastor Mike even taunted both the non-fundie wing of the right-wing establishment and Quittin' Mittens:

Later, after the results from Kansas were in, [Huckabee] said Republican leaders "ought to be begging me" to stay in.

"It's an awfully weak party that can't handle competition," he said. "Competition breeds excellence."

And Republicans breed with their cousins. It's called the Southern Strategy.

If McCain wants to hold his lead, he needs to stop mingling with those CPAC city slickers and start handling snakes.

A Graceless Stunt

Professional umbrage taker Molena Charen goes into splutter overdrive upon learning of the vile antics of one Leon Fleisher, octenegarian and terror lover:

This is the most graceless stunt I've seen a while. Leon Fleisher, the conductor and pianist, received a Kennedy Center honor. As part of the weekend of festivities associated with this prestigious award, Fleisher was invited to attend a White House reception along with the four other honorees (Brian Wilson, Steve Martin, Diana Ross, and Martin Scorcese).

What crime against civility did Mr. Fleisher commit? Send the children away, and then read on:

In the end, I decided to attend wearing a peace symbol around my neck and a purple ribbon on my lapel, at once showing support for our young men and women in the armed services and calling for their earliest return home. My family did the same, as did a number of fellow attendees who, over the weekend's various events, asked me for ribbons of their own.

Molena sneers that the former lefty should have rejected the honor rather than wearing the offending symbols to a White House reception. Why? Because although "every American is fully within his rights to express his views on anything in the world," "to do it in this way, at this moment, is quite a shameful performance."

I say the shame is that the Kennedy Center required Fleisher to kiss the ring of the unelected dolt in order to recieve recognition for his accomplishments. Under those unfortunate circumstances, Fleisher hit just the right note.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

The Mitt Hits The Fan

Willard Romney, the man whose core beliefs consisted entirely of "I'm Mitt Romney, bitch" has pulled out of the Republican presidential race. Tiny prick that he is, we never realized he was in.

True to his character, Romney remained a shit to the bitter end:

"If I fight on in my campaign, all the way to the convention, I would forestall the launch of a national campaign and make it more likely that Senator Clinton or Obama would win. And in this time of war, I simply cannot let my campaign, be a part of aiding a surrender to terror," he said during the conference. Members of the audience shouted, "No!" as Mr. Romney spoke.

The Heart of Darkness

Mister Leonard Pierce reports from CPAC:

The only person of color on the panel, Niger Innis of the race-baiting Congress for Racial Equality, actually draws boos.

Those weren't boos, they were cheering for Booosh.

Oh wait, Booosh didn't show. Even he doesn't want to associate with these loons.

"Romney Pulling Out?"

Write your own punchline.

Update: The Cornerites are convinced Willard Muff the Second is going to pull out at CPAC. And just yesterday the NYT reported that Muffy was thinking about placing Rick Santorum underneath him ... on the ticket, that is. That was 50 million well spent, Muffy.

So now McCain and Huckabee will battle for the nonexistent soul of the Grand Old Party.

p.s. -- Could I put less effort into this blog? I'm going to start trying harder, I swear.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Shorter The Corner

"If John McCain holds any hope of capturing the Republican nomination, he must first come to CPAC and rim our asses while simultaneously waterboarding a Mexican. We're not bluffing."

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Seems my endorsement of No on 94 through 97 was as ineffectual as the presidential endorsements of the National Review, Hugh Hewitt and Special Ed.

(02-05) 23:35 PST SAN FRANCISCO -- As vote totals slowly trickled in Tuesday night, the tallies were favoring ballot measures that would allow four Southern California Indian tribes to more than double the number of slot machines they operate in exchange for millions of dollars of new payments to the state.

Propositions 94, 95, 96 and 97 - which would uphold gambling compacts negotiated by the governor and approved last year by the Legislature - were winning 57 percent of the vote, with about a quarter of the state's precincts reporting.

Of course, Willard got his ass kicked by a much larger margin, and by opponents he probably outspent 20 to 1.

Update: 20 to 1 was just a guess, but turns out to be just about right.

Tears Of A Clownhall

That sound you hear is A Mormon In The White House being thrown into the pulping machines.

The scream that follows will be that of the late Hugh Hewitt.

Update: The Corner page wouldn't load for the longest time. Naturally I feared another Jonestown. Turns out it's just my crummy computer.

This Room.... [Kathryn Jean Lopez]

needed the Utah win.

02/05 10:07 PM


Character Counts

When given the choice between a military veteran and an impotent junkie who caused his own deafness by abusing painkillers, the Cornerites will choose the limp-dicked draft dodger every time.

And military service is the new "identity politics." I kid you not. (Though the Yellow Elephant Brigade should award Hood a Distinguished Self-Service Cross for coming up with that one.)

And this, from the same link: "Typically, when someone tries to form and lead a coalition and can't seem to pull it off, the blame belongs to him, not to the audience he's trying to reach." No, he's not referring to Willard the Muff, or Big Pharma.

The Corner should be mighty entertaining tonight, and in the coming weeks.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Electability/Strong and Warm and Wild and Free

Can bloggers endorse Presidential candidates? Yes we can. But I don't imagine any of my 1,025 readers (on a good day) will be moved one way or another by my choice. You've probably got more interesting reasons for your vote than I do for mine.

My ballot will be cast on Tuesday for the candidate who has the best chance of winning in November. I think both Democratic candidates can win, so my vote is for the candidate who I think will win the most times out of a hundred.

Predicting that requires predicting numerous other variables, including who the Republican nominee will be. And guessing what kind of sleazy tricks and crimes the Republicans will think up in the coming months. It's a mug's game, for sure. But I could've told you the Giants would win the Super Bowl, if only you had asked.

P.S. Vote "No" on all those Indian casino propositions. The Editorial Voice has spoken!

Saturday, February 02, 2008

My Friends,

Could everybody chip in and get John McCain a new rhetorical crutch?

Friday, February 01, 2008

The Morality of a Sockpuppet

Self-awareness is not this guy's strong suit:

"By the time the Lonelygirl hoax was revealed, the country had long been reeling from a series of public betrayals. Enron officials had lied to their shareholders. A New York Times reporter named Jayson Blair had lied to his editors. James Frey had fabricated events in his best-selling, Oprah-endorsed memoir. Most consequentially, and outrageously, of all, President Bush had clearly lied to America and to the world about the existence of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, and also about a connection between Saddam Hussein and Al Qaeda. You might have expected an exasperated American public, or at least the American media and blogosphere, to be equally angered by the revelation that YouTube and MySpace had been infiltrated by dishonest and powerful vested interests."

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Rudy Can Fail

And so the Nation is not ready for a phony War on Terror hero with an authoritarian streak and a foreign policy designed by a couple of loons named Podhoretz. Rudy Giuliani is headed to the elephant graveyard, to lie down next to Huckleberry Fred. And just when I learned how to spell his last name.

That only leaves Huckleberry Jnr. and Rudy's Hair Club sponsor, St. John McCain, for the wingnuts to accuse of Crimes Against Big Business, Big Torture and Big Immigrant Hating.

Do I send the carton of razorblades to The Corner now, or do I wait 'til Super Tuesday?

Update (1/30): Roy has all the weeping and wailing.

Monday, January 28, 2008

The California Report

The February 2008 election campaign started more than two months ago, ushered in by television ads promoting the civic virtues of Indian casinos. Since the first of the year, Ron Paul enthusiasts started appearing on freeway overpasses and on street corners, but no one even bothers to give them a shove.

Last week a California-targeted Hillary Clinton commercial appeared in the local ad slot of a basic cable news channel. And this weekend I saw two Clinton supporters passing out literature in a mall and a lonely Mike Huckabee (!) yard sign posted at the end of an I-680 off ramp.

Of course, the major presidential candidates have all been to the Golden State for many months now, flying in to collect campaign cash from hi-tech crowd or the munitions industry. And bumper stickers -- mainly for Obama -- have been spotted here and there, although you're still more likely to see a Kerry/Edwards from '04 or a Bush bashing sticker than one supporting an '08 hopeful.

Frankly, the election seems like it's taking place in another country. But so has almost everything else for the last seven and a half years.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

I don't know what's most disturbing part of this story: The restriction on content by the FCC, the exchange rate of the American dollar or the reporter's use of the word "who" in the final paragraph:

US television network ABC may have to pay a fine of $1.4m (£ 707,000) for airing an episode of NYPD Blue which depicted female nudity.

The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) said the 2003 show had "multiple, close-up views" of a woman's buttocks before the US watershed.

The FCC deems "sexual or excretory activities" shown in an "offensive" way before 2200 as indecent.

ABC has rejected the claims, saying the buttocks are not a sexual organ.

The proposed penalty has been imposed on all 52 of ABC's stations who broadcast the episode.

Friday, January 25, 2008

G.E. -- We Bring Good Things To Mitt

Willard "Muff" Romney was handed an expensive gift by weapons contractor General Electric last evening. During the Republican debate on MSNBC, Tim Russert favored Muffy with the mother of all softballs, "How much do you hate the Clintons?" (aka "Are you prepared to run against both Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton?") Muffy, of course, gave the teeball a mighty whack and managed a solid single. The other candidates were left to cram their Clinton-bashing in answer to questions not concerning the loathsome couple.

But G.E.'s gift kept on giving. After the debate, Chris Matthews breathlessly declared Muffy's answer the unquestioned highlight of the debate. In a post-debate debriefing, Matthews asked Pumpkinhead about Muff's glorious "moment." Russert at first pretended not to understand which question-and-answer Matthews referred to, but then admitted, in a fit of laughter, that he was well aware Matthews meant Muff's Clinton-bashing response, and was only teasing the aged lech. This morning, MSNBC continues to feature Muffy's brilliant reply -- Deliverance Joe Scarbrough also considered the vacuous response a defining moment -- along with Pumpkinhead's gotcha question to McCain, the one which showed that McCain likely doesn't remember where he hid his Easter eggs.

So the G.E. Primary has ended, and Muff's their man. As the MSNBC all-Republican front continually crowed last night, all of the Floridian NBC affiliates save one carried the debate live, which was the least they could do considering all the advertising cash Muff's handed them. And that's varmint-feed compared to the payoff the G.E. gang will earn on munitions and medical appliances when Muff extends the occupation of Iraq another four years.

Monday, January 21, 2008

"Here is the true meaning and value of compassion and nonviolence, when it helps us to see the enemy's point of view, to hear his questions, to know his assessment of ourselves. For from his view we may indeed see the basic weaknesses of our own condition, and if we are mature, we may learn and grow and profit from the wisdom of the brothers who are called the opposition.


"A true revolution of values will soon cause us to question the fairness and justice of many of our past and present policies. On the one hand, we are called to play the Good Samaritan on life's roadside, but that will be only an initial act. One day we must come to see that the whole Jericho Road must be transformed so that men and women will not be constantly beaten and robbed as they make their journey on life's highway. True compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar. It comes to see that an edifice which produces beggars needs restructuring.


"America, the richest and most powerful nation in the world, can well lead the way in this revolution of values. There is nothing except a tragic death wish to prevent us from reordering our priorities so that the pursuit of peace will take precedence over the pursuit of war. There is nothing to keep us from molding a recalcitrant status quo with bruised hands until we have fashioned it into a brotherhood.

.... "War is not the answer." -- April 4, 1967

Saturday, January 19, 2008

We Tell Ourselves Stories In Order To Sell You Di-Tech

South Carolina redeemed itself by electing John McCain eight years after denying him the nomination in a particularly sleazy campaign that never really bothered us much before, the details of which we needn't bother you with. Everybody on the same page? Good.

Roger's Review Corner

Many people(1) have asked about my review of Liberal Fascism: Are You Proud Of Me Now, Mommy?, by Jonah Goldberg. I've finally gotten around to reserving a copy from the library and I'm ninth on the hold list. Given the speed at which Doughy Fatone's fans process information I should get my hands on the book -- and a gallon of hand sanitizer -- in or about July, just as the last unsold copies are returned to the publisher and pulped.

Meanwhile, it's good to see that Doubleday is making reparations for abetting Goldberg's intellectual fraud.

1 By which I mean no one.

Freddy's Dead

In just twelve short hours, Huckleberry Fred will be able to retire to the Hollywood Hills, where Mrs. Thompson or her replacement can devote her days to cleaning Fred's wrinkles.

The Great Right Hope is a deader than Dick Cheney's dick, Mike Huckabee's soul and Jonah Goldberg's brain. The endorsement from Big Pharma's brother, Fredo, was the last of the five hundred last nails in the coffin.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Hollywood Fascism

Jason Apuzzo's dream of advancing from part-time photo processor at Sam's Club to dayshift cook at Carl's Jr. is on the line:

I'm sitting here right now holding my breath over a job which could change my life — which everyday this damned strike goes on means one more day where any one of the millions of things that kill these deals could happen.

Where's my waiver? Why can't I work?

The same reason you couldn't work for the last 6 years before the writers went on strike. You have no talent.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Huckabee Speaks Out In Favor Of The Traditional Definition Of Slavery

Good old Mike Huckabee is wrapping himself in the Klan Kloth. It's nice to know that the cross before which the Reverend Huck kneels has the smell of gasoline and burning wood.

Don't tell John McWhorter. He will never believe this!

The Siegel of Leningrad

Hot on the heels of Liberal Fascism comes Liberal Stalinism, penned by that failed fathead, Lee Siegel. In his slender but pricy tome, Siegel makes the analogy historical:

The vindictiveness and disproportionate influence of the blogosphere is a particularly sore subject. Who is it that "rewrote history, made anonymous accusations, hired and elevated hacks and phonies, ruined reputations at will, and airbrushed suddenly unwanted associates out of documents and photographs"? Mr. Siegel's immediate answer is Stalin. But he alleges that the new power players of the blogosphere have appropriated similar powers.

Yes, and the narcissistic sockpuppet is the Jew of Liberal Stalinism.

(I exaggerate only slightly. The subtitle of Siegel's book is "Being Human in the Age of the Electronic Mob.")

Sprezzy's bill of particulars against the blogosphere includes this incoherent claim:

Better the old press than the new tyranny of bloggers. Their self-interest, he says, makes them more mainstream than any standard news source could possibly be.

But I'm exactly like The New York Times. No one would pay to read this shit on the web, so I give it away for free. What's in it for me?

p.s. It's always good to see the Gray Lady linking to hardcore porn sites.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Even saw the lights of the Goodyear Blimp/And it read Huckleberry's a pimp

The Wall Street Journal said that Tuesday was a good day for Fred Thompson:

Another winner yesterday was Fred Thompson, who is competitive in South Carolina and is running as the conservative who can unite the GOP's fractious wings. The former Tennessee Senator has laid out an impressive policy map, but he's suffered in early contests because his heart and energy didn't seem to be in the race. That has changed in recent weeks, especially with his pungent, quick-witted debate performances. If he can do better than Messrs. Romney and Huckabee among conservatives, he could surprise in the Palmetto State and give himself a genuine chance at the nomination.

None of that explains why Huckleberry was a winner on Tuesday. Perhaps he had "12 points behind Huckabee" in the office pool.

Black People Is Crazy

At last, kind words about Senator Hillary Clinton on the Wall Street Journal editorial page -- Hillary probably isn't a despicable racist. But this kind view is advanced to target people even more loathed by the WSJ editorial page -- uppity black folk who challenge what they percieve as racism.

In today's WSJ, James McWhorter wonders:

There are many people in our great land aggrieved over the idea that Hillary Clinton thinks Martin Luther King Jr. was not the hero of the civil rights movement....

Why do people like op-ed columnist Bob Herbert, South Carolina Rep. James Clyburn and countless black bloggers hear a grievous insult in her simple observation? The outcry is so disproportionate to the stimulus that one can barely help suspecting something outright irregular.

I think of a study published last year in the Journal of Black Psychology. It documented that the extent to which black Americans perceive their lives to be affected by racism correlates with symptoms of general paranoia disconnected from racial issues.

To be able to hold in one's mind the notion that Mrs. Clinton would attack King suggests a bone-deep hypersensitivity that overrides sequential reasoning.

Why do black people hear such things? Mental defectiveness is one possibility, and no doubt McWhorter's favorite explanation for all things African-American.

But maybe, just maybe, it's because the media repeatedly misrepresented Clinton's statement in a way which made it look bad. Or maybe its because they've heard McWhorter, the Journal and their ilk for years arguing that Clinton is a phony and a sociopath who, like all Dems, secretly despises African-Americans and cynically manipulates them to keep them on the liberal plantation, living in dependency. Or maybe because Clinton's supporters and staffers have been quoted (and sometimes misquoted) as saying some less-than-liberal things about Clinton's African-American opponent. Or maybe it's because, like a lot of white people who are doing the same thing (including many in the press), they prefer another candidate to Clinton or just hate Clinton and are looking for excuses to bash her.

Naw. Can't be any of those. Black people is crazy.

Because, after all,

This idea seems so illogical that the only way to understand it is to approach it as a puzzle. After all, why would a white person running for president in 2008 dismiss the legacy of King near his birthday, which is celebrated as a national holiday, and right before a primary in a state with a large black vote?

Yes, and why would a white person running for President in 2008 have voted against a national holiday honoring King? Why, indeed? It makes almost as much sense as a bunch of white people running for President in 2008 incessantly claiming that they are the reincarnation of a white person who was President in 1980s and who opposed a King holiday. Or a white person running for President in 2008 who published a racist newsletter in the 1990s. And why would white people running for President in 2008 fall all over themselves to welcome back a tired old racist disk jockey?

McWhorter is paranoid and lacks the ability to reason, but it has nothing to do with his race.

Grand Old Police Blotter: A Reagan Revolutionary Is Busted Edition

There is no God but mammon, and Saint Ronnie is his profit:

WASHINGTON - A former U.S. congressman and delegate to the United Nations was indicted Wednesday, accused of being part of a terrorist fundraising ring that allegedly sent more than $130,000 to an al-Qaida and Taliban supporter who has threatened U.S. and international troops in Afghanistan.

The former Republican congressman from Michigan, Mark Deli Siljander, was charged with money laundering, conspiracy and obstructing justice for allegedly lying about lobbying senators on behalf of an Islamic charity that authorities said was secretly sending funds to terrorists.

A 42-count indictment accuses the Islamic American Relief Agency of paying Siljander $50,000 for the lobbying — money that turned out to be stolen from the U.S. Agency for International Development.

Siljander, who served four years in the U.S. House of Representatives, was appointed by President Ronald Reagan to serve as a U.S. delegate to the United Nations for one year in 1987.

This report is sketchy at best. How does lying about lobbying senators involve money laundering, unless there were payments to or from the senators in question. And Bush Justice has tried and failed before in trying to tie Islamic charities to terrorism. But there's no denying a Reagan Republican would do anything for the right price.

Update: Debbie Schlussel is claiming that she worked for Siljander as "more than an intern." (No link to the nutcase.) Perhaps a permanent insanity defense is in the offing.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

"Want and Need"

In my inbox comes proof that I'm not a complete unknown:

Draft Bloomberg Committee Launches Petition

Petition widget available for bloggers to easily publish on their site

If you believe Mike Bloomberg should run for president, then now is the time to tell him!

America needs and deserves a president with vision and a proven track record of solving tough problems and delivering real results, a president who can bring America together through true leadership and fine character.

With a recession looming, we believe that Mayor Bloomberg, a proven successful businessman and public servant, is that leader to help us rebuild our country.

Join the Draft Bloomberg Committee on the ground floor by completing two important activities that will help bring Mayor Bloomberg into the presidential race:

Sign the petition to draft Mike Bloomberg: Add your name to the list and stay informed about our draft movement. Sign online now!

Publish the petition on your blog: The more voices we have shouting Mike's name, the more likely he will be to enter the race. Publish the petition on your blog!

About Us

The Draft Bloomberg Committee is a diverse group of Americans who believe that Mike Bloomberg is the best choice for president in 2008. Our reason for being is to gather America's voice--through, the petition, and other efforts--to show Mayor Bloomberg convincing evidence that we, the people of the United States of America, want and need him to run for president.

If you have questions or would like to help, please contact us at


Doug Bailey & Jerry Rafshoon
The Draft Bloomberg Committee

You have received this email because you write frequently about politics and we'd like to keep you informed about our progress. If you wish to unsubscribe, please use the "Unsubscribe" link below.
I guess it depends on what your definition of frequently is.

Yes, what this country needs in a time of recession is the leadership of an equity trader and head of a financial services software company, one who spent close to $75 million of his own money to become a friggin' mayor. Only Rich Uncle Pennybags can save us now. Perhaps he can sell us to the Tata Group.

As of this writing, only 774 diverse Americans have expressed the need for President Mike Bloomberg. Perhaps that's because the DraftBloomberg site looks like a scam to collect e-mail addresses. Though I'm sure that will change once they start spamming more bloggers.

This could be as big as the whole Draft Fred Thompson movement.

Where Is His Sense Of Outrage?

John McCain on the former Jerry Falwell:

"I join the students, faculty, and staff of Liberty University and Americans of all faiths in mourning the loss of Reverend Jerry Falwell. Dr. Falwell was a man of distinguished accomplishment who devoted his life to serving his faith and country. Our thoughts and prayers are with Dr. Falwell's family at this difficult time."

Jerry Falwell on Richard Cohen:

"Who will the Antichrist be? I don't know. Nobody else knows. Is he alive and here today? Probably. Because when he appears during the Tribulation period he will be a full-grown counterfeit of Christ. Of course, he'll be Jewish."

Richard Cohen on John McCain:

"Earlier this year a close friend of John McCain gave me fair warning: McCain was about to become much more conservative, and I would not like what was coming. He was right. I did not like McCain's speech at Jerry Falwell's Liberty University, and I think his support of intelligent design is -- sorry, John -- just plain brainless. But it is not the supposedly new McCain that bothers me...."

Where is his sense of outrage?

Apparently it's not the bigot you personally embrace, it's the bigot you have nothing to do with whom you must repudiate.

(More on "Doctor" Falwell here. Jerry's bigotry was anything but one-dimensional.)

Mitts Off!

Far be it from me to challenge the liberal blog orthodoxy, but a vote for Alan Keyes in Michigan would be much, much funnier.

Alan Keyes says: Count Every Vote!

Monday, January 14, 2008

Currently on the Opinion page of

Little attention is being paid to the toll that misogyny takes on society in general, and women and girls in particular. [Para.] Its forms are limitless.

Currently on the homepage of (lower right corner):

$19.99 Hillary Nutcracker
The Hillary Nutcracker; Great gift Stainless Steel Thighs

Green Tease

Citizen Ralph is playing his cards close to his vest. Perhaps he's waiting to see if Mayor Mike will offer him the V.P. slot.

Ralph Nader, the 2000 Green Party presidential nominee who has yet to announce his intentions for 2008, was scheduled to participate in Sunday's debate, but he did not. Nader showed up late for the event and addressed the crowd for about 10 minutes.

Or perhaps he's waiting for the outcome of the Democratic race.

They Say It's Your Birthday

Happy birthday to Eric Alterman, one of the two greatest bloggers born on this day. And so young looking!

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Answers to 2007 Year-In-Review News Quiz

(Open the title of each Part in a new window to view the full question)

Part I -- Dr. Phil In The Blank (1 pt. for quote, 1 bonus pt. for speaker)

1. Varmints (Muff Romney); 2. M-Fer (Bill O'Reilly); 3. 9/11 (Sen. Joseph Biden); 4. Dead (G.W. Bush); 5. Time, legal background (Joe Klein); 6. Karl (Kyle Sampson); 7. Wide (Larry Craig); 8. Homosexuals (Mahmoud Ahmadinejad); 9. Prick (Ann Althouse); 10. Tase me bro (Andrew Meyer)

Part II -- Who Said it? (1 pt. each)

1. Sam Brownback; 2. Muff Romney; 3. Mike Huckabee; 4. John McCain; 5. Tom Tancredo; 6. Ron Paul; 7. Duncan Hunter; 8. Rudolph Giuliani; 9. Alan Keyes; 10. Fredo Thompson; 11. Tommy Thompson; Bonus quote: Dick Nixon on Fredo Thompson

Part III -- Grand Old Police Blotter (1 pt. each)

1. Bob Allen --(d); 2. I. Lewis Libby -- (c) ; 3. George Ryan -- (m); 4. Thomas Ravenel -- (f); 5. Conrad Black -- (l); 6. Larry Craig -- (i); 7. David H. Brooks -- (g); 8. Michael Flory -- (j); 9. Jeff Neilsen -- (a); 10. Brent Wilkes -- (b); 11. Italia Federici -- (o); 12. J. Stephen Griles -- (h); 13. Bernard Kerik -- (k); 14. Glenn Murphy, Jnr. -- (n) ; 15. Kyle "Dusty" Foggo -- (e)

Part IV -- The Year In Right Wing Sex (1 pt. each)

1. Gary Aldridge -- (f); 2. David Vitter -- (d); 3. Richard Curtis -- (j); 4. Ted Haggard -- (e); 5. John Hinderaker -- (g); 6. Larry Craig -- (c); 7. Richard Mellon Scaife -- (i); 8. Bob Allen -- (a); 9. Mickey Kaus -- (h); 10. Randall L. Tobias -- (b)

Part V -- Multiple Guess (1 pt. each)

1. (d); 2. (e); 3. (c); 4. (a); 5. (a); 6. Rep. Nancy Pelosi -- free point; 7. (f); 8. (f); 9. (b); 10 (f)

Your score:

66 or above -- Your ability to use Google is quite impressive
56-65 points -- The year 2007 is a traumatic memory which will haunt you to your dying day
46-55 points -- See your doctor about the latest OCD treatments
36-45 points -- You have a life, yet you took this quiz anyway
26-35 points -- Mediocrity is nothing to be ashamed of
16-25 points -- Sub-mediocrity, on the other hand...
6-15 points -- Congratulations on finding the Internet!
5-0 points -- You've never heard of Larry Craig
Update (1/15): Many thanks to Digby of Hullabaloo for linking to the quiz -- and kudos for the impreessive score! And thanks to Roy Edroso at alicublog for the earlier link.