Creepshow

Mark Kleiman asks:

If anyone can explain to me what's behind Mickey Kaus's characterization of Clark as "creepy," I'd be grateful. (Note that Kaus doesn't bother to try to justify it, he just asserts it as fact. Dec. 24.) I think it just means that Clark is exactly the kind of Democrat Kaus keeps telling people he wants to vote for, and if Kaus couldn't detect some character flaw he'd have to think about actually voting for a Democrat, which would make him very unhappy.

Anyone? Anyone? Mr. Geldof?

They can see no reasons
'Cause there are no reasons
What reason do you need to be shown?

Actually, I doubt even Chucky Krauthammer has enough training in abnormal psychology to explain Kaus.

For the record, I could only find two Kaus entries (here and here) at Slate where Kaus even approaches a substantive critique of General Clark's opinions or positions. And there's not much substance there, just references to others' criticisms of Clark. Maybe someone could squeeze a coherent thought out of Kaus's critique of "tough doves," but it's beyond me. And since Kaus never took a position on the Iraq war, it's hard to take his analysis of someone else's positions seriously.

There is, of course, nothing in any of Kaus's Clark commentary that would explain why Little Mick thinks General Clark is creepy.

But there is one article where Kaus snidely cheapshots Clark as another pol "unexpectedly discover[ing] Jewish roots," based on the fact that Clark discussed his Jewish heritage with The Forward in January 2003. The facts are that Clark's Jewish father died when he was four, and his non-Jewish mother remarried and raised him as a Baptist. Clark learned about his heritage and made contact with his late father's family when he was in his 20s. There's absolutely nothing to suggest that Clark has been disingenuous about his past or that he is using it for political advantage. The only creepy thing about the story is Kaus's use of it to belittle Clark.

How The Jews Stole Christmas

The loathsome John Derbyshire posted this letter from a reader without any criticism of its main argument:

A reader: "Well, I'm afraid your anti-mulitculturalist credentials _are_ slipping a bit. No one doubts that Hanukkah is a real holiday, and I am glad you enjoyed the Hanukkah ceremony at your friends' home. But one of the main reasons Christmas has been marginalized and even the word 'Christmas' is disappearing from public discourse is because Hanukkah has been elevated to a position out of all proportion to its traditionally minor significance. And the success Hanukkah has enjoyed in gaining public recognition has inspired the more recent success of Kwanzaa, Ramadan, and other winter festivals in gaining prominence in America, all at the expense of Christmas.

"It is rather easy making a distinction between Christmas and all these others. As I drove into work this morning, one of our local classical stations played 'Lift Up Your Head, O Ye Gates' from 'Messiah,' one of Torelli's Christmas concerti, John Henry Neale's translation of 'In Dulci Jubilo'--'Good Christian Men, Rejoice'--and a fantasia of carols by Ralph Vaughn Williams. Neither Hanukkah nor the other winter festivals have anything to match even this very tiny portion of all the great art inspired by or associated with Christmas. However, once we admit that Hanukkah should be treated as the equal of Christmas, despite the fact that its significance in Western culture is close to zero and its significance in traditional Judaism is minor, we really cannot complain about Kwanzaa or Ramadan. And this leads us, inevitably, to 'Happy Holidays' and 'winter concerts' featuring Kwanzaa songs. Merry Christmas!"

Yeah, you hardly ever hear about Christmas any more. Unless you turn on the radio or something. And Christmas would be so much better if those Jews just stopped cramming Hanukkah down our throats.

Smells Like Steno Sue

It took four Washington Post writers to compose a relatively short article on the status of the Plame investigation. One of them was "Steno" Sue Schmidt. It's my guess that Steno Sue's entire contribution was this bit:

Capitol Hill aides in both parties said Wilson had badly hurt his credibility with his apparently enthusiastic participation in a spread in the January issue of Vanity Fair that includes a glamorous photo of him and his wife outside the White House, a scarf and dark glasses shielding her. In another photo in the magazine, she shields her face with the front section of The Washington Post as he eats breakfast barefoot on their deck with the Washington Monument in the distance.

Wilson is quoted as saying he is "appalled at the apparent nonchalance shown by the president of the United States on this." The article includes Wilson's steamy account of his early romance with Plame. Congressional aides said the article bolstered the contention of Wilson's critics that no one had done more than him to draw attention to Plame, and that the couple had eagerly contributed to their celebrity.

Of course, Joseph Wilson's credibility is entirely irrelevant to the question of which Bush staffers violated the law by disclosing Valerie Plame's identity as political payback. Wilson has no personal knowledge of who committed the alleged crimes, so he is entirely irrelevant to the criminal charges.

What reeks of Steno Sue's dirty work is the reference to "Capitol Hill aides of both parties." Who gives a fuck what Capitol Hill aides think about Wilson? (Who gives a fuck what Capitol Hill aides think about anything, for that matter?) Their opinions are even less relevant that Wilson's credibility. It's obvious that the authors had to find a nameless Dem aide (if they in fact did) to justify their introduction of an irrelevant attack on Wilson.

Most importantly, Plame's participation in the Vanity Fair article is irrelevant because Plame's cover was already blown. Once the White House outed her, the damage was done, and anything that Plame (or Wilson) did subsequently doesn't change that fact.

Mickey, The Laziest Little Hack

Amidst the unreadable prose and lame hipster pose (Mick listens to college radio!), Mick manages to mangle the written language three times in one paragraph:

Deans's

doen't

anoynymous.

This half-assery wouldn't be so noticeable if Kaus wrote coherently. But he doesn't, so it is.

Merry Happy

Here's another Christmas/Hanukkah present for the good boys and girls who frequent this website:

Christmas stories read by Uncles Karl and Andy, plus an explanation of Hanukkah by OMB Director Josh Bolten.

Let's all work to make 2004 Uncle Karl's last storytime.

Happy Merry

My Christmas present to you: The 2003 King William's College General Knowledge Paper. Good luck!

(As a courtesy, please don't post any answers in the Comments section until after the New Year.)

It's Selling Like Shitcakes

Fool readers once, shame on you, fool ... uh... won't get fooled again.

Former CBS newsman Bernard Goldberg had a big, news-making best-seller with "Bias," which argued that the news media tilt left.

"Arrogance," his sequel, appears to have fallen short of expectations.

Warner, which announced a printing of 350,000 copies before publication last month, will offer retailers a credit on post-Christmas sales designed to cut the price in half, to $13.48.

....

Publishers typically do this to head off the return of many unsold copies.

Recent books already at 50% off in Barnes & Noble include a few on the Kennedys, such as Christopher Andersen's unauthorized 'Sweet Caroline,' and 'Red, White & Liberal' by Alan Colmes of Fox News Channel.

Guess the book buying public expects a little more for their money than a cut-and-paste job from Brent Bozell's website.

By the way, who is the "unidentified friend" who told Flush "that if he went to the authorities, they would target him, and his political enemies would use the information against him?" I sure hope it wasn't some corpulent propagandist who presides over a pretend news network. That's all I need.

Roger's Holiday Hints

Travelling this holiday season? If you want to carry a loaded firearm onto an airplane and travel unmolested, be sure to be a Republican lawmaker.

"I'm not the dead guy. I couldn't write this column if I was, now could I? Maybe people will stop confusing the two of us now."

E.I.B.'d

Well we all need someone we can score from
And when I need it, I can score from Wilma C.
Well, we all need someone who can bleed us
And when she wants it, well, here's some hush mon-ey

She said my drive-through drug store's always open
Baby, you can get your blues, but for a fee
And there'll always be a seller at the Denny's
When you need a little Coke and Oxy-C

Yeah, we all need someone to lay the blame on
When we refuse to take respon-sibil-ity
And we all need someone to make excuses
When we've lost that last small shred of cred-ibil-ity

I was dreaming of a White House invitation
And watchin' pornos with my good pal, Clarence T.
As I snorted in my dirty filthy mansion
I'm a jaded faded junky AM jockey
Just a hater working for the RNC

Well, we all need some Lorcet we can speed on
And I can always pay someone else to detox me
Take my back, take my hearing
Oh, baby, all I'm left with is my hypocrisy

We all need someone we can squeal on
Take my dealers, but please, please don't take me
Well, we all need something we can cut a deal on
I just hope I can still afford Roy Black's fee

Rush Limbaugh, Socialist

As an ardent believer in free markets, I am saddened and disgusted to hear Wilma Cline's alleged entrepreneurship denigrated as blackmail. As an American, Ms. Cline has an absolute right to profit from her intellectual property, including her life story. Denying Ms. Cline the opportunity for commercial expression enjoyed by Rudolph Giuliani, Hillary Clinton and Jack Welch is, in a word, socialism. If the facts are as portrayed, Ms. Cline, like many other memoirists, engaged in a competitive bidding process, and she was kind enough to offer her former employer the opportunity to bid on her work. Had I been previously employed at minimum wage to clean Rush's brimming crappers I doubt I would have been so generous.

To Limbaugh, who claims to champion capitalism, I say: if you wish to retain any credibility, you must immediately fire Roy Black and disavow Black's communist views. To Ms. Cline, I say: Let it bleed.

Reading The Interactive Bush Blog

I'm not sure what this means, but it sounds important.

Get involved today! When you sign up as a Bush Team Leader, you'll get your a personalized action center on GeorgeWBush.com where you can track your personal progress to build the President's team and spread his positive message. Sign up now!

Sounds even more exciting than selling Amway and joining the Unification Church. I've always wanted my own personalized action center.

And it says that the Bush site has its own chat rooms, but I can't find them.

For those playing along at home, Roger Ailes, the blog, will not be posting new material on December 24 and 25. There will, however, be plenty of fine content here beginning on December 26, including the Second Annual Year in Review Quiz and the First Annual Roger Ailes Person of the Year Award.

Plus, many, many fun surprises... depending on how easily you are surprised and/or amused.

For Your Consideration

After careful deliberation, we have concluded that there is only one piece of journalism this year which truly deserves the Michael Kelly Award. "The Children's Hour" by Bob Somerby represents "the fearless expression and pursuit of truth" that Kelly purportedly epitomized. Therefore, Roger Ailes nominates Bob Somerby for the 2003 Kelly.

Anyone who wishes to voice his or her support for this selection can contact Charles Green at cgreen@nationaljournal.com.

New Jack Idiocy

Jack Shafer has been taking the same drugs as Rush Limbaugh:

"Journalists pitching softballs to all the president's men would find themselves professionally ostracized."

That's not just stupid, it's Mickey Kaus stupid.

Reading The Increasingly Crappy Bush Blog

The Bush Blog inadvertently discloses the ongoing lack of the coordination between the Department of Homeland Security and the Department of Transportation:

Transportation Secretary Norman Mineta participates in a ceremony to sign a flight certificate allowing Santa Claus to engage in air travel on Christmas night.

But they're ready to blow his ass out of the sky if they catch him flying on Christmas Eve.

Question No. 1: Does El Flushbo have the balls to include this story in Monday's "Stack of Stuff"?

I say "no."

Question No. 2: Gary Condit has sued the National Enquirer for defamation. Does El Flushbo have the stones to sue the Enquirer?

I say "no."

Tomorrow's Krauthammer Today

"Wesley Clark is a violent sociopath."

A Real American Hero

Here's an article updating the story of a true American hero, and the real "Bush haters" who have attacked him:

[Tom] Connolly is a Portland lawyer who was all too happy to share Bush's 1976 OUI arrest in Kennebunkport when it came into his hands.

Afterward, Connolly was subjected to death threats, trash was dumped in his yard and he said he was assaulted _ twice.

...

Other things weren't so funny, like the death threats and the time a man hopped out of his pickup truck and knocked Connolly down. Another time, he was assaulted with a shopping cart in a supermarket, he said.

Through it all, the party activist who passed out "W is for wiener" buttons at the Democratic National Convention is unrepentant over his actions in disclosing the OUI arrest to reporters.

"I was Rush Limbaugh's 'Idiot of the Year.' I hope that goes in my obituary when I'm dead," he said.

Does this mean the National Enquirer and Wilma Cline will be this year's "Idiots of the Year"?

Meet Your Liberal Media

Oh, that liberal Washington Post, trying to embarass the G.O.P. by highlighting the Reagan/Bush ties to Saddam Hussein.

The Post rose to the occasion last Sunday when news of the capture of Saddam Hussein broke, putting the full range of its reporting resources into a superb Monday paper. Readers were appreciative. But some noted there was only the most glancing reference to U.S. help for Hussein in the 1980s near the end of a long piece about his history. And there was no reference to this in a graphic headlined "History of a Dictator" that stretched over two pages. The readers pointed out that London's Financial Times had a similar timeline with the following entries: "1981-88: US exports military equipment to Iraq. Dec. 1983: Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, US President Reagan's special envoy to the Middle East, visits Baghdad to pledge support for Saddam Hussein against Iran."

Don't want to spoil the fun with a few inconvenient facts.

Unelectable

Dammit! You punks have ruined Google for N.Z. Bear!

(Via Eschaton.)

A controversial choice indeed.