Clownhall.com: Where Bad Writing Meets Faulty Reasoning

Meet Trevor Boswell, Clownhall idiot du jour. Trev recently sat on his ass for an hour, eating Cheetos and watching the tube, and then pinched off the following:

Jennings stumps for socialism

December 10, 2003

Considering all the hysterics who go apoplectic at the mere hint of liberal media bias, Peter Jennings and ABC didn't do much to console the emotions of the media elite's chronically offended Monday night (Dec. 8) when they ran this so-called documentary: "How to Get Fat Without Really Trying."

In a nutshell, the ABC program blamed the federal government for "contributing to obesity by giving subsidies (to farmers) to create fattening food." This is obviously as ridiculous as blaming ice for figure skating injuries, but what was most astonishing (even for a mainstream media outlet) was its complete lack of objectivity.

Surely, ever since Michael Moore proved that documentaries don't necessarily need to be based in truth to be popular, it shouldn't come as a total shock that Jennings editorialized throughout his report. But shouldn't a primetime news broadcast at least hold out the possibility that there just might be more than one cause of our current obesity "epidemic?"

Yes, you read that right. That evil, evil man, Peter Jennings, is stumping for socialism by stating that government subsidies -- you know, the redistribution of wealth -- have negative consequences. What a clever bastard.

Later, Bothwell says:

If Jennings & Co. are so concerned about government farm subsidies making us fat, why not just call for their elimination?

Uh, but wouldn't that be, uh, editorializing? You know, Trev, the thing you were against a couple of paragraphs ago?

Bothwell then suspects that what ABC really wants is "government regulation of junk food commercials to kids under eighteen." Yes, it's a near certainty that ABC wants the government to force corporations to stop advertising sugar-laden chocolate-coated crap like this so it can broadcast more of Fidel Castro's speeches, live and uninterrupted.

Perhaps realizing that coherent thought is not his strong suit, Trev pulls out an old Clownhall favorite, Clinton's hummer:

Apparently, Bill Clinton can teach second graders about oral sex and Abercrombie and Fitch can market porn to ten-year-olds, but we're supposed to believe our kids will be warped ad infinitum if they go cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

Apparently.

Trev must have concentrated on oral sex in the second grade, because he sure as hell wasn't learning English. The only thing worse than the reasoning of this piece is the writing: "consoled the emotions," "in an increasingly senseless and litigious climate," "ABC practically used this program to throw its hat in the ring to advocate the Big Food lawsuits on the horizon." You get the drift.

The amazing thing is that Trevor is an instructor in English composition at a community college, according to a press release that's even more poorly written than his column. So much for standards.