Tuesday, January 06, 2004

I Hear And Obey, Oh Master

The Horse is reporting (scroll down to the last story) that weaselly NPR ombudsman, Jeffrey Dorkin, is accusing folks who've e-mailed in criticism of Wan Juilliams and M'hora Liasson of taking orders from Atrios.

I don't want to brag, but I've been reading Eschaton for well over a year and I've never even thought of buying that damn Buffy DVD. Now that's willpower!

I do have over 20 "Preznit Giv Me Turkee" beer steins, but I really wanted to buy those.

Update (1/7): Here's part of Dorkin's self-described mandate: "The Ombudsman is the public's representative to National Public Radio, empowered to respond to significant queries, comments and criticisms regarding NPR programming." So it's part of Dorkin's mandate to insult NPR's critics! (And here's his latest report to NPR managment, which suggests that his job duties are limited to counting e-mails.)

What's interesting is that Dorkin unprofessionally insulted Professor Little for raising a issue -- NPR reporters who moonlight as pundits -- which he wrote on at length less than two months earlier. On October 23, 2003, Dorkin wrote:

There is a danger whenever NPR reporters appear in other media that do not have the same standards of journalism. NPR risks its own reputation by lending its own legitimacy to any media that may practice a different standard of journalism....

NPR journalists should be speaking, as well as writing and appearing, in other media. It is good for NPR and for its journalists, but when they do it, they should maintain NPR standards.

Some inside NPR might construe this as restricting their ability to engage in outside work. NPR may need to reinforce with its journalists that they have a choice between outside punditry or inside reporting.

Of course, Dorkin was writing about supposedly liberal reporter Nina Totenberg at the time, and was responding, in servile fashion, to a "Media Alert" from Brent Bozell's group. (I haven't heard of any MRC e-mailers who were repeatedly abused by Dorkin.)

So why is the Dork so defensive and unwilling to listen when it comes to NPR employees whoring for Faux? Does he believe that Faux "practice[s] the [same] standard of journalism" as NPR? His e-mail responses certainly reflect the same standard of professionalism as Faux's.

A very important Daily Howler.

Of course, this isn't the first time that Bush supporters have tried to innoculate the Administration's foreign policy from criticism by smearing critics as anti-semites. Lucianne Jnr. did it last March, and Chris Hitchens made the same baseless claim in Slate In June. Dick Durata also notes this slimy tactic in the comments below.

Brooks's column is aptly named "The Era of Distortion." But it's Brooks who's telling the big lie.

Update: Links added, and corrected to reflect that the Hitchens article was published in June.

NewsMax shows us why Susan Estrich is up for a WOTY:
Geraldo, a liberal who was an ardent defender of the Clintons during the Whitewater scandal of the 90s, suggested a political motive for the prosecution of Limbaugh.

...

Geraldo also noted that the local prosecutor, Barry Krischer, has ties to Janet Reno and is a Democrat.

Geraldo's comments drew surprising support from a guest on his show: well-known liberal and Democratic pundit Susan Estrich.

"This one stinks, this one really stinks," Estrich told Geraldo about the Limbaugh investigation.

...

But Estrich believes politics, not simple justice, is motivating the prosecution of Limbaugh.

"I have been sitting here stewing about this Rush Limbaugh one for a long time. First of all this doctor shopping, how many senior citizens decide which doctor they like better? This notion they are going to get him for going to two doctors in the same thirty day period to dupe them into giving him a medication, this is an utterly ridiculous charge."
Two "liberal" Faux-Hos making excuses for their boss's close friend, Big Pharma. How gallant (and balanced).

Estrich, who reportedly attended law school, certainly knows the doctor shopping law doesn't criminalize visiting multiple doctors to choose one of them for treatment, but rather obtaining multiple prescriptions from multiple doctors at the same time. (And frankly, there aren't that many senior citizens who could afford all the drugs Limbaugh was purchasing, let alone treatment from multiple doctors at the same time.)

If Estrich wins this one, she'll certainly have to thank (the other) Roger Ailes in her acceptance speech.

American Dynasty

Why hasn't this book gotten the major publicity of such Bush-blowing books as Bush at War and The Right Man? It's ranked at 112 at amazon.com and it's hard to even find a review of it. This article says the book's got some information on the "profitable" Bush-Moon connection. Hopefully we'll hear more about American Dynasty in the coming days.

p.s. -- I wonder if this is the article that inspired the book.

Tom Tomorrow makes the case for Charles Quackhammer as WOTY.

The quack was at it again this weekend on Inside Washington, proclaiming that Dr. Howard Dean was just like one of the arrogant docs he "knew in medical school." On a related note, I've just discovered a new mental disorder: Krauthammer-IMAX Syndrome.

Fight the Power

Radical Chris Hitchens demonstrates his concern for the erosion of civil liberties in the Bush era by ... bitching about Mayor Bloomberg. In Hitchens' mind, the slow and painful destruction of constitutional rights in America most worthy of his time is not the detention of persons indefinitely, without bail, as material witnesses; or the deportation of foreign nationals without a hearing; or the designation of U.S. citizens as enemy combatants. No, it's the inability of drunks to light up a butt inside a New York bar.

Most of the examples of enforcement of the laws that Snitch cites, other than the smoking ban, seem abusive or unnecessary, although one suspects that Chris was silent until they came for the smokers. But they all involve fines of $200 or less, not even misdemeanors. Certainly Chris could find greater causes to champion. If he hadn't sold his soul to Dubya and the Crisco Kid, that is.

Of course, I haven't read Chris's article. Maybe the Bloomberg bit was a sidebar to a 10,000 word piece on the Ashcroft Justice Department. Would any journalist of integrity just pose for a few pictures sitting on a milk crate and the feeding the pigeons as a publicity stunt and call it a day? And would he do it just because his boss has a hard-on for the politician in question?

Chris also reports his move to New York City:

"New York City is now the domain of the snitch willing to drop a dime on a harmless fellow citizen."

(Editing courtesy of Nedra Pickler.)

Monday, January 05, 2004

Unforgiven

Here's Howie, who really really wants that WOTY. Question to Howie:

RE: Baltimore:
"For a brief time in their debate Sunday, Democrats seemed to be hewing to a New Year's resolution to stick more carefully to the facts on taxes, the budget and more. But old habits die hard."

[snip]

Howard Kurtz: I don't see that as biased at all. It's old-fashioned truth squadding -- what Dean said, what the facts are, what Dean's explanation is.

'But old habits die hard.' -- The message here is that Democrats are liars. That's not normal truth-squadding. That's buying into Republican spin about their opponents.

Howie's response:

Howard Kurtz: Forgive me for not seeing the spin. ....

Bonus whore points to Howie for saying "Politics ain't beanbag." As played by the Putz, it's teabag.

Whores of 2003

The Horse is back with a vengeance... and with 2003's crop of the creme de la whores. This year's contenders:

Tim Russert
Ted Koppel
Kathleen Parker
George Will
Charles Krauthammer
David Brooks
Howard Kurtz
Susan Estrich
Frank Luntz
Zell Miller

Right now, I'm leaning toward Pumpkinhead Russert, although the Putz, Estrich, Will and Luntz are still in the running. As always, a tough choice.

Sunday, January 04, 2004

Did Neil Bush Commit Perjury?

I'm no expert on sexually- transmitted diseases, but it sounds like Neil "Silverado" Bush may have been ... elongating the truth under oath. Atrios links to this deposition testimony from Neilsie's divorce case:

Brown: "Well, I'm sorry. How ... how many venereal diseases do you suffer from?"

Bush: "I've had one venereal disease."

Brown: "Which was?"

Bush: "Herpes." (Emphasis added.)

WebMD says:

There is no cure for genital herpes. After the primary outbreak, some people have just a few recurrent outbreaks over their lifetime, while others may have 4 to 6 outbreaks a year. Recurrent outbreaks are more likely if the cause is HSV-2 and generally are less severe and heal more quickly than the primary outbreak. Usually the number of outbreaks decreases after several years. While genital herpes is bothersome and may cause emotional distress, it usually does not cause serious health problems in healthy adults.

Now, Neilsie doesn't say he had genital herpes. Or maybe he's invented a cure for the disease. I'd hate to think that Neil Bush lied under oath.

(After composing this, I see that commenter Julius Civitatus already said the same thing. But it bears repeating. For the youngsters. Play safe, and don't fuck a Bush!)

The End of An Era

The Jennicam website has shut down, presumably due to an intense lack of interest. Who knew it was still operating? As "Adam" -- who doesn't appear to be a "troll" -- says at the BBC News site, "I'll really miss those five-gallon metal petrol containers."

The interesting part of the story is that PayPal recently refused to process payments for Ms. Ringley because of nudity on her site, which certainly was much more unwholesome than those penis enlarging pills and sex toys anyone can purchase on EBay.

Hmmm.... Now that this market niche has opened up, maybe Rogercam can fill the void.

Trolls, Ducks and Whores

Howard the Duck Fineman, cowboy fellatilist, senses trouble in the Dean campaign. Why? Because he has somehow confirmed the sincerity of anonymous posters at the Dean campaign website:

The murmurs of doubt are faint, barely audible above the background hum of the Internet cosmos, but they are worth listening to at the moment, for the doubters don't seem to be "trolls" --provocateurs in digital disguise -- and they express concerns about their favorite son, Dr. Howard Dean, in the bosom of his own blogosphere.
Fineman, who doesn't seem to be a journalist, goes on to quote suspected non-trolls "WVMicko," "Lancaster" and "irmaly." Now, whether the authors of these comments are Dean supporters, fake Dean supporters, trolls or RNC operatives, and whether they sincerely hold the views expressed, Fineman's entire exercise is meaningless. His only purpose was to put RNC spin in the mouths of supposed Dems. (I guess Pat Cadell, Zell Miller and Tammy Bruce were out of town for the holidays.)

Revolting as it may be, read the entire article. You just may learn who selected those anti-Dean quotes for the Duck.

p.s. to Fineman: Those hot barely legal co-eds you're cybering with -- they actually look a lot like your pal Karl too.

Friday, January 02, 2004

Nothing Changes On New Year's Day

Yes, 2003 has come and gone, and Clownhall is still a cesspit of bigotry. Today's Townhall.com homepage links to this lovely comment on Howard Dean's faith:

Howard Dean's comments place him squarely in the "Jesus of convenience" camp. His wife and children are Jewish. Cool. But I have to wonder: if Howie's faith in Jesus Christ is so important to him, why didn't he marry someone with the same faith? Why didn't he insist on raising his children in that faith? Say it with me, on three: because what faith Howard Dean has in Jesus isn't central to his life.

I wonder how the Jews linked by Clownhall (Krauthammer, Goldberg, Shapiro, et al.) feel about sharing their little corner of cyberspace with bigoted dickwads like Matt Grills.

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

Due to other obligations of your harried host, the venerable Roger Ailes Year in Review Quiz will not be presented this year. Too little time and not nearly enough Roger, I'm afraid. There's a possibility of a Thirteen Months' in Review Quiz at the end of January, but it's a slim one. My sincere apologies.

William Safire's Next Column

I hear Bill's trying to regain credibility.

Person Of The Year

The 2003 Roger Ailes Person of the Year is:

An entrepreneur.

A caregiver.

A compassionate conservative.

A champion of law and order.

She has been vilified by the powerful and the well-connected.

She has been targeted by the haters and the partisan hacks.

And she will be vindicated.

My friends, I give you the 2003 Roger Ailes Person of the Year:

Ms. Wilma Cline

Linking Without Thinking

It must be something in the blog. Daniel Drezner fills in for Sully Joe and immediately laspes into Sully's habit of linking without reading. Drezner asserts that this Los Angeles Times article is "trying to predict the 2004 election" by "roll[ing] out th[e] fact" that since 1960, "'the party in the White House lost when the unemployment rate deteriorated during the first half of the year.

In fact, the article doesn't try to predict the election. The article is about jobless rates. It cites the fact, and then cites an author of several books who says that it's not a coincidence that the President loses when unemployment increases before the election. But there's nothing in the article predicting the outcome of the 2004 election, or even suggesting the outcome in 2004 will follow past history. The Times article doesn't say it, and it doesn't quote the author as saying it either.

Next time, Daniel, "[r]ead the whole thing -- yes, even if you need to register." And don't pick up Sully's bad habits.

This, from a man who couldn't best Dick Cheney in a debate:

"I've got some news for Howard Dean ... The primary campaign is a warm-up compared to what George Bush and Karl Rove have waiting for him. . . . He's going to melt in a minute once the Republicans start going after him."

Melt? You mean, like this:

LIEBERMAN.... I think if you asked most people in America today that famous question that Ronald Reagan asked, "Are you better off today than you were eight years ago?" Most people would say yes. I'm pleased to see, Dick, from the newspapers that you're better off than you were eight years ago, too.

CHENEY: I can tell you, Joe, the government had absolutely nothing to do with it. (LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE)

MODERATOR: This question is to you.

LIEBERMAN: I can see my wife and I think she's saying, "I think he should go out into the private sector."

CHENEY: I'll help you do that, Joe.

Yeah, that's exactly what we need.
Receding Timelines

Little Mickey Kaus, who demonstrates his intellectual cred by referencing theorist "Milton-Friedman" (you know, of the Stanford Milton-Friedmans), blasts Senator Hillary Clinton for criticizing the administration's "artificial timeline" for leaving Iraq. He then says "[i]f the timeline needs to be pushed back, it can be pushed back." But doesn't that make the timeline artificial, in the sense of meaningless or false? Sure, every timeline is artificial in the sense that it's human-made. But certainly saying that a timeline with drop-dead date is okay because the drop-dead date can be changed at will is not an endorsement of the timeline.

Kaus is also perusing Free Republic for Michael Jackson commentary. You know, Kaus and "Hillary's Lovely Legs" have never been seen in the same room together.... or maybe they are always seen together.

The Bad Prose Zone or, Who's Licking Out For You?

A reminder that the nation's leading basic cable moralist is not only a sack of crap, but crap in the sack as well. And a bad writer:

"Ashley was now wearing only brief white panties. She had signaled her desire by removing her shirt and skirt, and by leaning back on the couch. She closed her eyes, concentrating on nothing but Shannon's tongue and lips. He gently teased her by licking the areas around her most sensitive erogenous zone."

Uh, wouldn't it be more effective to lick the erogenous zone, rather than the areas around it?

Sully: I Invented Blogging

Sunday, December 28, 2003

Hipster economist Bruce Bartlett, who, I repeat, is not the dead guy from the Wall Street Journal has published his annual blog recommendations. This year B.B. gives a plug to Max Sawicky and his blog MaxSpeak, saying that Max is "unafraid to represent a far left, almost Marxist, viewpoint" and a "good enough economist to be moved by the data, which is rare among ideologues." Although Bartlett claims to read MaxSpeak regularly, he manages to use the old link, and not the current one, which is here.

B.B. also links to Brad DeLong but, again, fails to link directly to Brad's blog. At least he's expanded his horizons from last year's trinity of tripe (Joe Sully, Little Mick and Egg Boy).

Words/Phrases of the Year

English is a vibrant and ever-changing language. This year, it has given us

Mayberry Machiavellians.

Hillbilly heroin.

Whistle ass.

(Of course, it's also given us the execrable "embedded," a euphamism for government propagandist.) Add your nominations for the word or phrase of 2003 in the Comments section below.

All Cretins Great and Small

Dr. Bill Frist on veterinary medicine:

The zoo has more than 2,600 specimens. The only thing most of them have in common is that they can be injured or sick, often because of old age, because animals in captivity usually live much longer than those in the wild. Not a single one can tell its caretakers what is wrong. In fact, nature teaches many animals to hide their infirmities from predators.

Shorter Dr. Frist: It's not my fault, the kittens never said "don't kill us."

Saturday, December 27, 2003

Creepshow

Mark Kleiman asks:

If anyone can explain to me what's behind Mickey Kaus's characterization of Clark as "creepy," I'd be grateful. (Note that Kaus doesn't bother to try to justify it, he just asserts it as fact. Dec. 24.) I think it just means that Clark is exactly the kind of Democrat Kaus keeps telling people he wants to vote for, and if Kaus couldn't detect some character flaw he'd have to think about actually voting for a Democrat, which would make him very unhappy.

Anyone? Anyone? Mr. Geldof?


They can see no reasons
'Cause there are no reasons
What reason do you need to be shown?

Actually, I doubt even Chucky Krauthammer has enough training in abnormal psychology to explain Kaus.

For the record, I could only find two Kaus entries (here and here) at Slate where Kaus even approaches a substantive critique of General Clark's opinions or positions. And there's not much substance there, just references to others' criticisms of Clark. Maybe someone could squeeze a coherent thought out of Kaus's critique of "tough doves," but it's beyond me. And since Kaus never took a position on the Iraq war, it's hard to take his analysis of someone else's positions seriously.

There is, of course, nothing in any of Kaus's Clark commentary that would explain why Little Mick thinks General Clark is creepy.

But there is one article where Kaus snidely cheapshots Clark as another pol "unexpectedly discover[ing] Jewish roots," based on the fact that Clark discussed his Jewish heritage with The Forward in January 2003. The facts are that Clark's Jewish father died when he was four, and his non-Jewish mother remarried and raised him as a Baptist. Clark learned about his heritage and made contact with his late father's family when he was in his 20s. There's absolutely nothing to suggest that Clark has been disingenuous about his past or that he is using it for political advantage. The only creepy thing about the story is Kaus's use of it to belittle Clark.

Friday, December 26, 2003

How The Jews Stole Christmas

The loathsome John Derbyshire posted this letter from a reader without any criticism of its main argument:

A reader: "Well, I'm afraid your anti-mulitculturalist credentials _are_ slipping a bit. No one doubts that Hanukkah is a real holiday, and I am glad you enjoyed the Hanukkah ceremony at your friends' home. But one of the main reasons Christmas has been marginalized and even the word 'Christmas' is disappearing from public discourse is because Hanukkah has been elevated to a position out of all proportion to its traditionally minor significance. And the success Hanukkah has enjoyed in gaining public recognition has inspired the more recent success of Kwanzaa, Ramadan, and other winter festivals in gaining prominence in America, all at the expense of Christmas.

"It is rather easy making a distinction between Christmas and all these others. As I drove into work this morning, one of our local classical stations played 'Lift Up Your Head, O Ye Gates' from 'Messiah,' one of Torelli's Christmas concerti, John Henry Neale's translation of 'In Dulci Jubilo'--'Good Christian Men, Rejoice'--and a fantasia of carols by Ralph Vaughn Williams. Neither Hanukkah nor the other winter festivals have anything to match even this very tiny portion of all the great art inspired by or associated with Christmas. However, once we admit that Hanukkah should be treated as the equal of Christmas, despite the fact that its significance in Western culture is close to zero and its significance in traditional Judaism is minor, we really cannot complain about Kwanzaa or Ramadan. And this leads us, inevitably, to 'Happy Holidays' and 'winter concerts' featuring Kwanzaa songs. Merry Christmas!"

Yeah, you hardly ever hear about Christmas any more. Unless you turn on the radio or something. And Christmas would be so much better if those Jews just stopped cramming Hanukkah down our throats.

Smells Like Steno Sue

It took four Washington Post writers to compose a relatively short article on the status of the Plame investigation. One of them was "Steno" Sue Schmidt. It's my guess that Steno Sue's entire contribution was this bit:

Capitol Hill aides in both parties said Wilson had badly hurt his credibility with his apparently enthusiastic participation in a spread in the January issue of Vanity Fair that includes a glamorous photo of him and his wife outside the White House, a scarf and dark glasses shielding her. In another photo in the magazine, she shields her face with the front section of The Washington Post as he eats breakfast barefoot on their deck with the Washington Monument in the distance.

Wilson is quoted as saying he is "appalled at the apparent nonchalance shown by the president of the United States on this." The article includes Wilson's steamy account of his early romance with Plame. Congressional aides said the article bolstered the contention of Wilson's critics that no one had done more than him to draw attention to Plame, and that the couple had eagerly contributed to their celebrity.

Of course, Joseph Wilson's credibility is entirely irrelevant to the question of which Bush staffers violated the law by disclosing Valerie Plame's identity as political payback. Wilson has no personal knowledge of who committed the alleged crimes, so he is entirely irrelevant to the criminal charges.

What reeks of Steno Sue's dirty work is the reference to "Capitol Hill aides of both parties." Who gives a fuck what Capitol Hill aides think about Wilson? (Who gives a fuck what Capitol Hill aides think about anything, for that matter?) Their opinions are even less relevant that Wilson's credibility. It's obvious that the authors had to find a nameless Dem aide (if they in fact did) to justify their introduction of an irrelevant attack on Wilson.

Most importantly, Plame's participation in the Vanity Fair article is irrelevant because Plame's cover was already blown. Once the White House outed her, the damage was done, and anything that Plame (or Wilson) did subsequently doesn't change that fact.

Mickey, The Laziest Little Hack

Amidst the unreadable prose and lame hipster pose (Mick listens to college radio!), Mick manages to mangle the written language three times in one paragraph:

Deans's

doen't

anoynymous.

This half-assery wouldn't be so noticeable if Kaus wrote coherently. But he doesn't, so it is.

Thursday, December 25, 2003

Merry Happy

Here's another Christmas/Hanukkah present for the good boys and girls who frequent this website:

Christmas stories read by Uncles Karl and Andy, plus an explanation of Hanukkah by OMB Director Josh Bolten.

Let's all work to make 2004 Uncle Karl's last storytime.

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Happy Merry

My Christmas present to you: The 2003 King William's College General Knowledge Paper. Good luck!

(As a courtesy, please don't post any answers in the Comments section until after the New Year.)

It's Selling Like Shitcakes

Fool readers once, shame on you, fool ... uh... won't get fooled again.

Former CBS newsman Bernard Goldberg had a big, news-making best-seller with "Bias," which argued that the news media tilt left.

"Arrogance," his sequel, appears to have fallen short of expectations.

Warner, which announced a printing of 350,000 copies before publication last month, will offer retailers a credit on post-Christmas sales designed to cut the price in half, to $13.48.

....

Publishers typically do this to head off the return of many unsold copies.

Recent books already at 50% off in Barnes & Noble include a few on the Kennedys, such as Christopher Andersen's unauthorized 'Sweet Caroline,' and 'Red, White & Liberal' by Alan Colmes of Fox News Channel.

Guess the book buying public expects a little more for their money than a cut-and-paste job from Brent Bozell's website.

Big Pharma says he's a victim of a vast left-wing conspiracy. Yeah, nice try.

By the way, who is the "unidentified friend" who told Flush "that if he went to the authorities, they would target him, and his political enemies would use the information against him?" I sure hope it wasn't some corpulent propagandist who presides over a pretend news network. That's all I need.

Roger's Holiday Hints

Travelling this holiday season? If you want to carry a loaded firearm onto an airplane and travel unmolested, be sure to be a Republican lawmaker.

Shorter Bruce Bartlett

"I'm not the dead guy. I couldn't write this column if I was, now could I? Maybe people will stop confusing the two of us now."

Monday, December 22, 2003

E.I.B.'d

Well we all need someone we can score from
And when I need it, I can score from Wilma C.
Well, we all need someone who can bleed us
And when she wants it, well, here's some hush mon-ey

She said my drive-through drug store's always open
Baby, you can get your blues, but for a fee
And there'll always be a seller at the Denny's
When you need a little Coke and Oxy-C

Yeah, we all need someone to lay the blame on
When we refuse to take respon-sibil-ity
And we all need someone to make excuses
When we've lost that last small shred of cred-ibil-ity

I was dreaming of a White House invitation
And watchin' pornos with my good pal, Clarence T.
As I snorted in my dirty filthy mansion
I'm a jaded faded junky AM jockey
Just a hater working for the RNC

Well, we all need some Lorcet we can speed on
And I can always pay someone else to detox me
Take my back, take my hearing
Oh, baby, all I'm left with is my hypocrisy

We all need someone we can squeal on
Take my dealers, but please, please don't take me
Well, we all need something we can cut a deal on
I just hope I can still afford Roy Black's fee

Rush Limbaugh, Socialist

As an ardent believer in free markets, I am saddened and disgusted to hear Wilma Cline's alleged entrepreneurship denigrated as blackmail. As an American, Ms. Cline has an absolute right to profit from her intellectual property, including her life story. Denying Ms. Cline the opportunity for commercial expression enjoyed by Rudolph Giuliani, Hillary Clinton and Jack Welch is, in a word, socialism. If the facts are as portrayed, Ms. Cline, like many other memoirists, engaged in a competitive bidding process, and she was kind enough to offer her former employer the opportunity to bid on her work. Had I been previously employed at minimum wage to clean Rush's brimming crappers I doubt I would have been so generous.

To Limbaugh, who claims to champion capitalism, I say: if you wish to retain any credibility, you must immediately fire Roy Black and disavow Black's communist views. To Ms. Cline, I say: Let it bleed.

Reading The Interactive Bush Blog

I'm not sure what this means, but it sounds important.

Get involved today! When you sign up as a Bush Team Leader, you'll get your a personalized action center on GeorgeWBush.com where you can track your personal progress to build the President's team and spread his positive message. Sign up now!

Sounds even more exciting than selling Amway and joining the Unification Church. I've always wanted my own personalized action center.

And it says that the Bush site has its own chat rooms, but I can't find them.

A Programming Note

For those playing along at home, Roger Ailes, the blog, will not be posting new material on December 24 and 25. There will, however, be plenty of fine content here beginning on December 26, including the Second Annual Year in Review Quiz and the First Annual Roger Ailes Person of the Year Award.

Plus, many, many fun surprises... depending on how easily you are surprised and/or amused.

For Your Consideration

After careful deliberation, we have concluded that there is only one piece of journalism this year which truly deserves the Michael Kelly Award. "The Children's Hour" by Bob Somerby represents "the fearless expression and pursuit of truth" that Kelly purportedly epitomized. Therefore, Roger Ailes nominates Bob Somerby for the 2003 Kelly.

Anyone who wishes to voice his or her support for this selection can contact Charles Green at cgreen@nationaljournal.com.

New Jack Idiocy

Jack Shafer has been taking the same drugs as Rush Limbaugh:

"Journalists pitching softballs to all the president's men would find themselves professionally ostracized."

That's not just stupid, it's Mickey Kaus stupid.

Sunday, December 21, 2003

WARNING: DO NOT USE MENORAH NEAR OPEN FLAME

Reading The Increasingly Crappy Bush Blog

The Bush Blog inadvertently discloses the ongoing lack of the coordination between the Department of Homeland Security and the Department of Transportation:

Transportation Secretary Norman Mineta participates in a ceremony to sign a flight certificate allowing Santa Claus to engage in air travel on Christmas night.

But they're ready to blow his ass out of the sky if they catch him flying on Christmas Eve.

Survey

Question No. 1: Does El Flushbo have the balls to include this story in Monday's "Stack of Stuff"?

I say "no."

Question No. 2: Gary Condit has sued the National Enquirer for defamation. Does El Flushbo have the stones to sue the Enquirer?

I say "no."

Tomorrow's Krauthammer Today

"Wesley Clark is a violent sociopath."

A Real American Hero

Here's an article updating the story of a true American hero, and the real "Bush haters" who have attacked him:

[Tom] Connolly is a Portland lawyer who was all too happy to share Bush's 1976 OUI arrest in Kennebunkport when it came into his hands.

Afterward, Connolly was subjected to death threats, trash was dumped in his yard and he said he was assaulted _ twice.

...

Other things weren't so funny, like the death threats and the time a man hopped out of his pickup truck and knocked Connolly down. Another time, he was assaulted with a shopping cart in a supermarket, he said.

Through it all, the party activist who passed out "W is for wiener" buttons at the Democratic National Convention is unrepentant over his actions in disclosing the OUI arrest to reporters.

"I was Rush Limbaugh's 'Idiot of the Year.' I hope that goes in my obituary when I'm dead," he said.

Does this mean the National Enquirer and Wilma Cline will be this year's "Idiots of the Year"?

Meet Your Liberal Media

Oh, that liberal Washington Post, trying to embarass the G.O.P. by highlighting the Reagan/Bush ties to Saddam Hussein.

The Post rose to the occasion last Sunday when news of the capture of Saddam Hussein broke, putting the full range of its reporting resources into a superb Monday paper. Readers were appreciative. But some noted there was only the most glancing reference to U.S. help for Hussein in the 1980s near the end of a long piece about his history. And there was no reference to this in a graphic headlined "History of a Dictator" that stretched over two pages. The readers pointed out that London's Financial Times had a similar timeline with the following entries: "1981-88: US exports military equipment to Iraq. Dec. 1983: Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, US President Reagan's special envoy to the Middle East, visits Baghdad to pledge support for Saddam Hussein against Iran."

Don't want to spoil the fun with a few inconvenient facts.

Unelectable

Dammit! You punks have ruined Google for N.Z. Bear!

(Via Eschaton.)

Congratulations to Boston Globe writer Charles Pierce for winning the coveted 2003 Bozo, an award more prestigious -- and more spittle-flecked -- than the Breindel Golden Needle and the Kelly-Glass Fiction Prize, combined.
Saint Nicholas, patron saint of Ben Shapiro.
Congratulations to Time magazine's Persons of the Year for 2003.

A controversial choice indeed.

Friday, December 19, 2003

Via TBogg, we learn that

"Public schools now teach every and all sexual acts, from anal sex to S&M sex."

Instead of grammar, it seems.

Not only that, the classes are taught by Bill Clinton!

Why, when I was a kid we had to walk five miles in the snow to just to learn anal sex from a prostitute.

Toothless Joe

Maybe Joe's going easy on him because he was courteous enough to phone Joe before breaking the law.

Or maybe Joe just wants a job on FOX.

More On Captain Yee

Here's an extremely well-sourced article by Bill Berkowitz at WorkingforChange.com, on the case (or lack thereof) against U.S. Army Chaplain, Captain James Yee.

Mr. Berkowitz discusses the parallels between the Yee case and the case of Wen Ho Lee. By the way, Lee's attorneys are attempting to take the deposition of Jeff Gerth, whose continued employment at the New York Times defies all reason. Gerth has refused to identify his sources, who may be employees of the FBI and/or Department of Energy.

And I never knew that Chas. Lindburgh had banged a German hatmaker and gave her three kinder. (I sure hope this doesn't lessen Armstrong Williams's opinion of Get Lucky Lindy.)

More on Cold Strom and his bendable buddy, Wretch Armstrong. According to Steve at No More Mister Nice Blog, rightwing radio slaphead Armstrong Williams recently condemned Jesse Jackson for fathering a child out of wedlock. Seems Reverend Jackson's extramarital paternity robbed him of all moral authority. At the same time, Armstrong was holding the secret of Ol' Strom's unacknowledged child.

Of course, Strom and Armstrong never had any moral authority to begin with, so at least they didn't lose anything.

More Blue v. Red State Idiocy

Here's a correction published today at Slate:

The Dec. 16 "Moneybox" column reversed the states' electoral colors, stating that the blue states are areas that supported President Bush in 2000, and that the red states were terrain hostile to Republicans. In fact, it's the blue coastal states that opposed Bush, and the red states that supported him.

Once again: There are no colors for the political parties. The Democratic Party is not the "blue party" and the Republican Party is not the "red party." It doesn't make a damn bit of difference which color is assigned to which party! It's completely arbitrary! And completely meaningless! Stop it!

The Right, Before Christmas

Here's a holiday treat for all. It's a reworking of the classic poem, The Night Before Christmas (written by Major Henry Livingstone, Jr., a Canuck, and not Clement Moore), as reworked by a delusional governor's wife.

"I am late," said Santa. "My last stop took hours, all that coal I delivered down The Courant's tall towers.

"They used to be good girls and boys," Santa said. "But the poison pen's power has gone to their head.

"And I have the same problem at the media stations, they've just simply forgotten good human relations.

"Their thirst and hunger for the day's biggest story has earned them black coal for their ill-gotten glory."

"Oh Santa," I said, "that is sad, I agree. They've acted like Grinches who have stolen our tree.

"They whipped themselves into a mad feeding frenzy. They've embarrassed our children and our Mama McKenzie.

"But this is the season of joy, peace and love, and forgiveness which comes from our Lord above.

"A time for compassion to give what we can, to lift up the spirits of our dear fellow man."

"Ho, ho, ho," went Santa. "I say that's the gist. Now why don't you tell me what is there on your list."

"Dear Santa, this year bring warmth to those cold, and safety each day to the young and the old.

"Bring our soldiers home safely without any hitches, and give evildoers a kick in the britches.

"Help the lonely find love, and the lost find their faith, take the drugs off our streets so our children can play.

"Give our teenagers wisdom and courage and health. Show them family and friends are the best kind of wealth.

"And last, but not least, for the man next to me, a new year that is peaceful and refreshingly free of rumors and hearsay that do nothing but smother the positive works we should do for each other.

"This man who has given you many years of his life, who has stood tall and strong throughout good times and strife.

"He has championed our cities, our schools, and our arts. He's made sure our children are ready and smart.

"He doesn't get bullied by big union bosses who picket and whine and dwell on their losses.

"He's the man with the plan for the good of our state and he won't let press twist and turn our state's fate.

"So please, Mr. Santa, won't you grant me this plea, and tackle this list that I have drawn up for me?"

Santa stood up and gave me his hand. "That's quite a tall order, but I'll do what I can. I'll spread Christmas cheer to each city and town, to each man, woman and child, and I won't let you down."

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight/"What's with all these lunatics on the far right?"

Put away the eggnog, Patty, and start planning for those conjugal visits.

Thursday, December 18, 2003

Dead Strom

Strom Thurmond's family has reluctantly acknowledged that a 22-year-old Strom impregnated a 16-year-old African-American minor who worked for his family, and that the pregnancy resulted in the birth of a daughter. Particularly amusing is Strom, Jr.'s acknowledgement of his half-sister, no doubt made through clenched teeth: "We have no reason to believe Ms. Williams was not telling the truth."

It's interesting that Strom's estate was only valued at $200,000, a substantial amount, yet very small for someone of Strom's position and fame. I'd like to think the estate is so small because most of the bastard's money went to his unacknowledged daughter, to buy her silence. I'd also like to think that Strom resented paying every penny, though he clearly owed his daughter much than he ever could have paid.

The most repulsive aspect of the whole story? As reported at Silver Rights, the fond recollection by Armstrong Williams (no known relation) of Strom and Armstrong joking in a vulgar manner about Strom's sexual exploits with the mother of his child.

Con Job

It's nice to see some real reporting on the substance of the Telegraph/Con Coughlin claim linking Mohammed Atta to Saddam Hussein. To date, we've only seen the usual right-wing circle jerk: repeating the claim with no independent effort whatsoever to confirm it. (Yes, that's means you, Safliar and Joe Sully.) Now, someone has done some reporting on the claim.

True, the reporter is Spikey Isikoff, Lucianne G.'s well-worn marital aid, but even a right-wing whore can be right twice a day.

The premise of the article is sound: the Telegraph claim that Atta was in Bagdhad for at least three days sometime between June 21, 2001 (the beginning of summer) and July 1, 2001 (when the phony memo was allegedly written) is belied by the federal government's proof of Atta's movements in the U.S. during that period.

Earlier this week, without the resources of Newsweak magazine, I was able dig up a timeline showing that Atta was otherwise occupied during at least half that period, June 27 to July 1. The timeline also shows that investigators were able determine when Atta did leave the country in 2001 -- both before and after, but not during, 6/21 to 7/1. Kudos to Newsweak for once challenging bullshit rather than publishing it as a cover story.

And here's a quote from Con Coughlin that would bring a tear to Spikey's eye:

Contacted by Newsweek, The Sunday Telegraph's Con Coughlin acknowledged that he could not prove the authenticity of the document. He said that while he got the memo about Mohammed Atta and Baghdad from a "senior" member of the Iraqi Governing Council who insisted it was "genuine," he and his newspaper had "no way of verifying it. It's our job as journalists to air these things and see what happens," he said.
Gee, Con, I sure hope some unnamed member of the Iraqi Governing Council doesn't stumble across some memos linking you to a paedophile ring.
The Trophy Is A Model Of A Dripping Liver

A new journalism award. Appropriately, the award recognizes not journalists who tell the truth, but rather those who "wrote what they thought was right."

This prize will be only slightly less prestigious than the Breindel Golden Needle.

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

A Question

If the wingnuts are so convinced of the veracity of the Telegraph's claim that Mohammed Atta trained for the September 11 attacks in Iraq with the knowledge and support of Saddam Hussein, where's their outrage at Bush's plan to turn Hussein over to the Iraqis for trial?

Bush made his comments in an interview with ABC News' Diane Sawyer, and the network released a transcript of the remarks.

Even while expressing his views, Bush said Saddam's punishment "will be decided not by the president of the United States but by the citizens of Iraq in one form or another."

He said he doesn't see a need for an American role in Saddam's trial, a process that Iraqis are "plenty capable of conducting."
American troops capture the man who, according to the true believers, was an accessory to the murder of thousands of Americans on U.S. soil, and Bush says, we don't want to try him, let the Iraqis decide his fate? And there's not a fucking peep from the wingnuts regarding this plan?!?

That silence speaks volumes about the difference between what wingnuts say and what they truly believe.

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Court TV

Jeralyn Merritt at Talk Left is reporting that the Iraqi Provisional Government's trial of Saddam Hussein may be televised. I look forward to the dignified cable coverage of this important event, which will no doubt include the following:

-- Nancy Grace bragging about how she never lost a war crimes trial in her career as a prosecutor, and pronouncing Saddam guilty by virtue of the fact he grew a beard.

-- Gloria Allred signing up Saddam's second wife as a client.

-- Rita Cosby petitioning Saddam for an exclusive interview, citing the support voiced for her by Uday and Qusay, and expressing her "deep concern about this possible violation of [his] freedom of speech" and her desire to make public his "many valuable insights."

-- Larry King, for the full hour, with an All-Star Panel of experts on international law, including Sylvia Browne, Linda Tripp's attorneys and that guy from JAG.

-- And Geraldo going to the rat hole in Adwar, to see if it's the one down which he pissed his credibility.

Shouldn't that be "an unleaded balloon?" I can't believe people missed Mark's ethanol joke. The denseness of some people is amazing.

A Whore On Hollywood Boulevard(s)

I speak of David Brooks -- the right's cheap knock-off of Faith "Popcorn" Plotkin -- who seeks to portray Howard Dean as a Hollywood liberal. Hear Brooks babble:

"Howard Dean is the only guy who goes to the Beverly Hills area for a gravitas implant. He went to the St. Regis Hotel, a mile from Rodeo Drive, to deliver a major foreign policy speech, and suddenly Dr. Angry turned into the Rev. Dull and Worthy."
A serious national candidate speaking on foreign policy only a mile from Rodeo Drive? Clearly it's unacceptable!

Why, none but a boob would speak of international affairs and national defense so close to a high-end retail shopping district. Any man who would do such a thing is unqualified to be president, and likely insane....

If you don't know where this set up is going by now, you've been in a coma for six months and you've never read this blog before.

Yes, that's right, on June 27, 2003, George Bush held an election fundraiser at the Century Plaza Hotel, which is a brisk 30-second walk away from the St. Regis. You'll recall that Bush's warmup act on that occasion was the washed- and sobered-up beer and satellite teevee pitchman, Dennis Miller. And Bush spoke at length on Iraq and Afghanistan to the assembled throng of Hollywood rightys who paid handsomely for the privilege of Bush's company.

And you thought the Times couldn't find anyone with less insight into politics than Maureen Dowd. Maybe Lazy Davey's job is part of Times' liberal plot to only publish conservatives who couldn't craft a solid argument if their lives depended on it.

...Does Your Conscience Bother You?

To those on the right who say that the left has shown insufficient glee at the capture of Saddam Hussein, and especially those who sing the praises of Saint Ronnie, I say: My hands have always been clean; don't expect me to applaud when you get a little blood out from underneath your fingernails.

Sunday, December 14, 2003

What Is To Be Done?

A brutal dictator who killed and tortured thousands of his country's citizens during the decades of his rule has been captured. What should be done?

Let's ask President Bush.

On second thought, let's not.

Grand Old Police Blotter: The Entire Fucking Connecticut G.O.P. Edition

"But the Republican governor [of Connecticut, , John G. Rowland] acknowledged last week that he did not pay for these improvements to his cottage. Instead, he relied on gifts -- of time and money -- from a prominent state contractor and several of his closest governmental aides. And he acknowledged that he lied when he claimed on Dec. 2 that he alone had paid for the improvements. ...

"Several prominent Rowland appointees have tripped into the political muck of late. Earlier this year, Rowland's former deputy chief of staff pleaded guilty to steering contracts in exchange for cash and gold coins, which he buried in his back yard. (That same former deputy helped pay for a water heater at Rowland's cottage).

"Another commissioner was forced to resign this year after evidence emerged that he had accepted gifts from businesses working with the state. And four years ago, the former state treasurer -- a Rowland appointee -- pleaded guilty to racketeering and money laundering.

"In fact, it has been a bad year for Connecticut politicians, as the former mayors of Bridgeport and Waterbury marched off to federal prison. In the latter case, federal prosecutors had investigated contract corruption in Waterbury when they discovered that Mayor Philip Giordano had forced two girls to perform oral sex at City Hall. This past June, a judge sentenced Giordano to 37 years in prison for the sex crimes."

The Post article quoted above fails to mention that girls Giordano abused were 8 and 10 years old.

Giordano should have plenty of friends visiting him soon, for extended periods of time.

Brian Linse at Ain't No Bad Dude has listed his choices for the worst and best movies. I'm pleased to say that I passed up all of the films on his worst list. And I'm even more pleasantly surprised to see Local Hero on his top ten list. It's a truly great movie: it has a near-perfect script, a brilliant cast, stunning locations, and one of the best all-original-music movie soundtracks ever. And Jenny Seagrove.

Are We Sure It's Him?

Let's see. Yeah, it's him.

I see there's some good news for the dollar and U.S. Treasuries this morning.

The malls will be packed today, no doubt.

On to Saudi Arabia!

Friday, December 12, 2003

The Bear Inanities

A man pretending to be a bear is outraged that certain lefty bloggers are sexually molesting Google. Or something.

Calling a certain unelectable doofus a "miserable failure" is just ruining Google for our furry friend.

"There is something fundamentally wrong about weblogs being used to such a purpose: in a medium which allows anyone to express their own ideas and logic, this isn't an argument: it's just a rude noise. Using your weblog to hack Google like this is like using a master's paintbrush to scrawl obscene graphiti [sic] on the bathroom wall. Sure, you can do it, but aren't there better uses for the instrument?"
You see, Google is "mapping the territory of the internet," so if you, for example, link to a certain unelectable politician using the phrase miserable failure, you are "gaming" Google's "system" and "messing with other people's stuff."

But if Google's task is mapping the territory of the internet, then lefty bloggers are only giving Google some more territory to map. If Google is engaged in mapping or reporting or some other objective objective, then bloggers -- or anyone else who publishes anything anywhere -- aren't "messing with" or "defacing" anything. They are creating content. The fact that they are aware of (or intend) certain consequences doesn't ruin Google or interfere with its functioning.

I'm not sure that metaphor works either. If Google is the shithouse, what difference does it make what kind of brush is used to deface it? Does it hurt the brush? Is it okay to use a Made-in-Korea brush from the Home Depot to deface Google? How about a Sharpie?

The bear should have left this particular dump in the woods.

Thursday, December 11, 2003

The Koufax Awards 2.0

It's the most wonderful time of the year. Yes, it's time for the 2003 Koufax Awards, honoring progressive bloggers.

Roger Ailes is in the running for two awards this year: "Biggest Sophomore Slump" and "Most Regretted Vote From Last Year." The awards are hosted by Mary Beth W. and Dwight Meredith, at Wampum. And I hear they'll be telecast on VH1 this year.

As Dwight says, "[The awards are] a chance to say a lot of nice things about a lot of people. We hope to help build and promote a feeling of community among lefty bloggers. This is supposed to be fun for us and for you." You can offer nominations until the end of December; the voting is in January.

Call Him Unelectable

He's lost before and he will lose again. He's -- that's right -- unelectable.
Clownhall.com: Where Bad Writing Meets Faulty Reasoning

Meet Trevor Boswell, Clownhall idiot du jour. Trev recently sat on his ass for an hour, eating Cheetos and watching the tube, and then pinched off the following:

Jennings stumps for socialism

December 10, 2003

Considering all the hysterics who go apoplectic at the mere hint of liberal media bias, Peter Jennings and ABC didn't do much to console the emotions of the media elite's chronically offended Monday night (Dec. 8) when they ran this so-called documentary: "How to Get Fat Without Really Trying."

In a nutshell, the ABC program blamed the federal government for "contributing to obesity by giving subsidies (to farmers) to create fattening food." This is obviously as ridiculous as blaming ice for figure skating injuries, but what was most astonishing (even for a mainstream media outlet) was its complete lack of objectivity.

Surely, ever since Michael Moore proved that documentaries don't necessarily need to be based in truth to be popular, it shouldn't come as a total shock that Jennings editorialized throughout his report. But shouldn't a primetime news broadcast at least hold out the possibility that there just might be more than one cause of our current obesity "epidemic?"

Yes, you read that right. That evil, evil man, Peter Jennings, is stumping for socialism by stating that government subsidies -- you know, the redistribution of wealth -- have negative consequences. What a clever bastard.

Later, Bothwell says:

If Jennings & Co. are so concerned about government farm subsidies making us fat, why not just call for their elimination?

Uh, but wouldn't that be, uh, editorializing? You know, Trev, the thing you were against a couple of paragraphs ago?

Bothwell then suspects that what ABC really wants is "government regulation of junk food commercials to kids under eighteen." Yes, it's a near certainty that ABC wants the government to force corporations to stop advertising sugar-laden chocolate-coated crap like this so it can broadcast more of Fidel Castro's speeches, live and uninterrupted.

Perhaps realizing that coherent thought is not his strong suit, Trev pulls out an old Clownhall favorite, Clinton's hummer:

Apparently, Bill Clinton can teach second graders about oral sex and Abercrombie and Fitch can market porn to ten-year-olds, but we're supposed to believe our kids will be warped ad infinitum if they go cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

Apparently.

Trev must have concentrated on oral sex in the second grade, because he sure as hell wasn't learning English. The only thing worse than the reasoning of this piece is the writing: "consoled the emotions," "in an increasingly senseless and litigious climate," "ABC practically used this program to throw its hat in the ring to advocate the Big Food lawsuits on the horizon." You get the drift.

The amazing thing is that Trevor is an instructor in English composition at a community college, according to a press release that's even more poorly written than his column. So much for standards.

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

More on John Lott's message board obsession from Tim Lambert. Now I don't have anything against people who use psuedonyms on message boards. No one would believe that "Washingtonian" on the Freeper board was actually a crap upscale D.C. monthly filled with advertisements for plastic surgeons and "escorts." But Washingtonian was claiming not to be John Lott.

The funniest part was Lott getting bitch-slapped by another Freeper named "Clinton Is Scum." And liking it.

And Lott's back peddling his shinola about Electiontheft 2000 to the faithful at National Review Online.

How The Righty Have Fallen

Whatever you think about National Review, you've got to feel a little saddened by the fact that it's been reduced to publishing a mathematician and the imbecile son of racist message board operator pretending to be dogs.

What do they do for an encore? Sniff each others' asses? Let Dick Morris's PayPal spank them with a rolled up issue of Commentary?

Ken Starr Bites A Big One

And so does Mitch McConnell.

More thoughtful analysis to follow.

Or you can crash your computer and download all 298 .pdf pages here.

Through The Looking Glass

Here's how the British tosser, Sully, reported the arrest of the Muslim chaplain at Guantanamo Bay on suspicion of espioniage:

"THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS: Here's how the British newspaper, the Independent, reported the arrest of the Muslim chaplain at Guantanamo Bay on suspicion of espionage. In this age of terrorism, everyone is innocent except the U.S. government. Notice especially the invocation of Lynne Stewart. " (Note: Independent link is now to a for-pay article.)

And here's the tosser today:

"THE FRAMING OF YEE: The case that Muslim military chaplain James Yee was a spy for Syria or anyone else has been falling apart. It's not even clear that the documents he was carrying - the original basis for the charge - were in any way classified. For this, he was put in solitary confinement for three months. Worse, the military - having failed to make their case - subsequently used their search warrant to reveal an extra-marital affair by Yee and are now prosecuting him under military law for this indiscretion. This is called framing someone. The trial has now been suspended because the prosecution cannot prove the classification of the documents in question. This seems to me to be a text-book case of military abuse of basic standards of fairness. A Muslim-American, who may well be completely innocent of all espionage charges, may now face years in jail for having an affair."

In this age of phony wars on terror, Sully shows no remorse for pissing on the presumption of innocence. A textbook case indeed.

Cheer Up, Joe

You lost the Gore endorsement, but you won the coveted Sully primary.

Of course, Sully is also endorsing Michael Jackson, too. But not for president.

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Senator Paul Simon, 1928-2003

I spoke too soon. Until today, the correlation between bow-tie wearers and stupidity was not 100 percent.

Rest in peace, Senator Simon.

Free Legal Advice Is Worth Every Cent

I doubt you'd take legal advice from me, Governor Predator, but if I were you I'd consider an "anti-SLAPP" motion to strike the Miller complaint.

But don't take my word for it -- ask your media consultant, Don Sipple.

Miller's Court

Forget Terminator vs. Predator. This is the real battle royale: Miller v. Predator and his Campaign Manager. While I have little admiration for the theatrics of publicity-hound attorney Gloria Allred, Rhonda Miller's choice of attorney is irrelevant to the merits of the suit. It looks like the Predator won't be putting his past misconduct behind him as quickly or cleanly as he would have liked.

(Link via Mark Kleiman, whose reaction was the same as mine.)

Thomas Sowell's Book Bag

Note: World O' Crap beat me to this one and is funnier to boot!

Of all the things to be thankful for at Christmas, not being on Thomas Sowell's gift list is the one for which I'm most grateful. Here's what you might get -- from Sowell's stack of review copies, no doubt -- if he likes you:

If you like big, blockbuster books on broad themes, then "Human Accomplishment" by Charles Murray is the book to read on that long trip or in installments at home. It shows how landmark performances in many fields tend to cluster at particular times and places and among particular groups. This book is a landmark performance itself.

If you like take-no-prisoners attacks against the political left, three new books of this sort are "Treason" by Ann Coulter, "Scam" by Jesse Lee Peterson and "When I Was a Kid, This Was a Free Country" by G. Gordon Liddy. These are books with devastating facts and penetrating analysis, as well as verbal fireworks.

And if the stores are sold out of these fine tomes, you can just throw battery acid in your loved ones' faces to celebrate the birth of Christ.

The Digital-Rectal Examination

Andrew Sullivan, quoting failed TV Guide filler writer Jeff Jarvis, resorts to the hoariest and most insipid of all virtue-of-blogging cliches, the digital-rectal examination:

"And we watch what we say because somebody's fact-checking our ass. And we take on the responsibilities that come with all that."

Oh, the burden. Heavy is the head that writes like a clown. It's like noblese oblige, but with a proctoscope.

Unfortunately for Sully, someone is checking his veracity. Seb at Sadly, No! informs us that the white man's burden isn't as burdensome as the white man wants us to think. Responding to Sully's claim of "tens of thousands" of words per month for his blog, Seb says:

Oh no no no no -- no no no! We shall limit our research to a single week of the Daily Dish (last week for no reason in particular.) Microsoft Word reports that it contained 7,603 words. A rough count shows that about half of that consists of quotes from articles, poseur alerts, and emails from Sullivan's other personalities readers. Once you count the part of the DailyDish Sullivan recycles into the WeeklyDish for the Washington Times, one is left with a couple of long posts on Reagan and AIDS or gay marriage, and a whole lot of linking to articles that argue the opposite of what Sullivan pretends they do. (i.e. sullivan, v. To base your argument on a source that actually argues the opposite what you claim it does. And yes, we coined that phrase!)

Now cough, Mr. Sullivan.

Monday, December 08, 2003

Howie the Putz loses a shitload of points by quoting with approval the dishonest Krauthammer column after admitting learning about Krauthammer's dishonesty in his online chat.

Update (12/9): Admitting was too generous.

The Blogsphere's Biggest Tool

There have been a lot of recent comments on the fascist fantasies of a cretinous Canadian named Adam Yoshida. When I read this guy, I just have to laugh.

Take this December 6 post from Yoshida, quoted in full here:

Schizophrenics for Dean

The perils of having too many supporters:

hope that you will see fit to visit this blog over the course of the campaign to hear the voice of the mentally ill, which is so often ignored in our society. As you will see, the voices of the mentally ill, from New York City to Los Angeles, are lined up behind Governor Howard Dean!

posted by Adam at 15:35 PM

Get it? Schizophrenics support Howard Dean! You'd have to be mentally ill to support Dean! Ahaha!

If you check out the linked site, you'll see the post quoted by Yoshida was created just 16 minutes before Yoshida's post. It takes an eagle eye to find new sites so quickly. And look! The author of the Schizophrenics for Dean site is also named Adam! What are the odds of that?

Without consulting my esteemed colleague, Doctor Krauthammer, I'm unable to identify the syndrome which best describes the kind of nut who would create a fake website and then mock the fictitious author of that website and the presidential candidate supported by the make-believe author. Or the one describing the jackass who thinks the nut "has some interesting observations" on anything.

But didn't another Harvard man start out this way?

(And don't tell me it's meant to be a gag. It's got to be funny to be a gag.)

Meanwhile, On JAG....

"What does it mean to have a sexual relationship?" Colonel Trimble asked. "We had sex together," she said, estimating that the couple had done so about 20 times, at his quarters and hers. She said that she knew he was married because he had told her.

Captain Yee's wife, Huda, who was born in Syria and wore a Muslim head covering today, left the courtroom and began sobbing on a bench. When she saw Lieutenant Wallace walk out shortly afterward, she pursued her with her daughter, Sarah, in her arms. "You happy now," Mrs. Yee shouted at Lieutenant Wallace. "Destroying a family?"

As she turned away, Lieutenant Wallace stepped toward her, lightly touched Mrs. Yee's arm and said: "You know what. You need to speak with HIM." Mrs. Yee responded with a mild epithet.

Yes, the Muslim serviceman who caused Mona Charen, Michelle Malkin, Frank Gaffney, Jnr. and John Leo to fear for their worthless lives stands accused of ... copulation in the first degree.

The real question: why is the military pursuing charges against Yee when it granted Wallace immunity for the same conduct?

More On The Politics of Personal Responsibility

From the Washington Post:

Janklow has long been an unapologetic speeder, as witnessed during a 1999 speech to the Legislature.

"Bill Janklow speeds when he drives -- shouldn't, but he does," Janklow said then. "When he gets the ticket he pays it, but if someone told me I was going to jail for two days for speeding, my driving habits would change."

In one well-known instance, two reporters were riding with Janklow when he made a 99-mph mad dash, through heavy smoke, down a mountain highway in the Black Hills during a raging forest fire in 2002. Janklow had tried to go faster, but the computer in his sport utility vehicle kept the engine from going past 99 mph.

Janklow received 12 speeding tickets from 1990 to October 1994. He was elected to a third term as governor a month later and never received another ticket in the state.

The jury was not allowed to hear about the tickets, but the prosecution was granted permission to present evidence of a close call at the same intersection where Scott died.

Jennifer Walters said a speeding white Cadillac ran the stop sign and missed their pickup by mere feet last December. She called 911 to report it and Moody County Deputy Sheriff Tony Aas said that about 10 minutes later he stopped the Cadillac. Janklow was the driver and he was doing 92 mph, though the officer locked his radar on at 86, he testified.

Walters said she did not pursue charges against Janklow because he was governor at the time. On the stand, Janklow denied running the stop sign.

Ten and ten should do it.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Speed Kills Edition

"FLANDREAU, S.D. -- A South Dakota jury has found Rep. Bill Janklow guilty of all charges against him in a manslaughter trial.

"The jury foreman read 'guilty' to each of the four counts: speeding, running a stop sign, reckless driving and second-degree manslaughter in the death of a motorcyclist.

"The last is a felony and carries a maximum penalty of up to 10 years in prison and a $10,000 fine."
What Would You Pay For Half-Assed Efforts Like These?

Apparently, it takes an enormous amount of work -- around the clock, day in, day out -- to pull boners like these (all from the last 24 hours):

advertizing

red-bloeded Englishmen and women

We have no idea at his point in history how this will or will not work out.

an Iraqi colonel who claims he was the3 source

And don't forget "95 percent of all our income comes from you. ....and you're our only means of support." (By the way, if you're reading this, Crackhammer, note the proper use of ellipses.)

Sorry, Andy. I expect a little more effort and pride of authorship for my Jacksons.

A Half-Point To Howie the Putz

Below, I wondered aloud whether any wingnuts would raise the issue of Charles Krauthammer's smear of Howard Dean. Well, one has, sort of.

In today's online chit-chat, Howie Kurtz actually permitted a participant to criticize Quackhammer's misrepresentation of Howard Dean's words. (See below.) Typically, however, Kurtz followed up with a weaselly non-response: It "would have been better" if Krauthammer hadn't lied. So kudos to Raleigh, N.C. (and Bob Somerby, who first raised the issue), and half-kudos to Howie.

(Of course, Howie then loses his half-point by suggesting that John Kerry was pandering to Rolling Stone readers by saying fuck.)

Raleigh, N.C.: Charles Krauthammer recently wrote in a column,

"Chris Matthews: Would you break up Fox?
Howard Dean: On ideological grounds, absolutely yes, but...I don�t want to answer whether I would break up Fox or not...what I�m going to do is appoint people to the FCC that believe democracy depends on getting information from all portions of the political spectrum, not just one."

This looks pretty awful, but those of us aware of the mendacity in modern journalism are drawn to the ellipsis. So we go to the online transcript and find,

MATTHEWS: Would you break up Fox?
(LAUGHTER)
MATTHEWS: I�m serious.
DEAN: I�m keeping a...
MATTHEWS: Would you break it up? Rupert Murdoch has �The Weekly Standard.� It has got a lot of other interests. It has got �The New York Post.� Would you break it up?
DEAN: On ideological grounds, absolutely yes, but...
(LAUGHTER)
MATTHEWS: No, seriously. As a public policy, would you bring industrial policy to bear and break up these conglomerations of power?
DEAN: I don�t want to answer whether I would break up Fox or not, because, obviously
(CROSSTALK)
MATTHEWS: Well, how about large media enterprises?
DEAN: Let me-yes, let me get...
(LAUGHTER)
DEAN: The answer to that is yes.
I would say that there is too much penetration by single corporations in media markets all over this country. We need locally-owned radio stations. There are only two or three radio stations left in the state of Vermont where you can get local news anymore. The rest of it is read and ripped from the AP.
MATTHEWS: So what are you going to do about it? You�re going to be president of the United States, what are you going to do?
DEAN: What I�m going to do is appoint people to the FCC that believe democracy depends on getting information from all portions of the political spectrum, not just one.

Now, when an op-ed writer uses the ellipsis to completely change the meaning of an exchange and (unintentionally ironically) calls into question someone else's mental stability, can you tell my why I should ever trust the writer again? Or why a presumably reputable paper (why, look here, WaPo Writer's Group!!) would employ him?

I just don't think should be my responsibility, as a reader, to fact check on that level.

Howard Kurtz: Some ellipses are justified, but it probably would have been better if the joking nature of the break-up-Fox answer had been mentioned.

Meanwhile, Bob Somerby has more on the disgraceful doctor Quackhammer.

Disgrace In Media Award Winner

Howie the Putz Kurtz continues his un-distinguished service for Bush Administration. Today, Kurtz turns over his column to Joe McQuaid of the Manchester Union-Leader, where McQuaid praises Bush and bashes most of the Democratic candidates. What a surprise. And this is newsworthy for what reason, Putz?

Truth In Media Award Winner

Reuters ruins the Freepers' playtime:

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A company that sells foot-tall "action figures" of President Bush has added a new "Top Gun" model sporting a fighter pilot's flight suit in time for Christmas.

The new doll comes with helmet and visor, goggles and oxygen tank, recalling the president's May 1 landing on the flight deck of a Navy aircraft carrier when he declared an end to major combat operations in Iraq.

Since then, 190 U.S. service personnel have been killed in action in Iraq.