Go Read Jesse Taylor

You can thank me later.

Same Card, Different Dick Deck

Hey, that scumbag messiah of wing-nut media is claiming to be the Ten of Diamonds. I am the one and only Ten of Diamonds in the wing-nut deck, you tax-cheating foreign wack-job!

Get your own fucking card, you wannabe loser!

(Thanks to mw.)

The Creepiest Place On Earth

Those who criticize the Disney Corp. for holding Gay Days at its facilities might want to worry a little more about the heterosexuals who frequent the parks. Witness the fractured fairy tale one Dick Baker, "King" of the Community Christian School in Largo, Florida.

The middle school-age girls told police they had been to Disney with Baker 20 times, 30 or 40 times. One girl said she had been 81 times. Sometimes they shared a room with him, but not a bed. Sometimes Baker, 52, was the only adult on the trip. He slept in Disney pajamas, one girl said.

There was no need to bring a swimsuit - Baker had a bag full of Disney suits that the girls could choose from so everyone would match. Detectives learned that he gave them matching dresses and took pictures of them wearing Tinkerbell and other costumes, complete with wands and crowns.

As the article points out, Disney Dick hasn't been charged with any crime. But I doubt he'll be asked to be Grand Marshall again.

(Thanks to a reader for the tip.)

Bennett Lied, Casinos Thrived

Or, The Death of Phony Outrage

The last nail has been driven into the super-sized coffin of William J. Bennett, and the dirt has been tamped down. Not even Bennett's pal Pumpkinhead Russert can resurrect the public career of the two-faced blowhard.

Here's Morals Fuhrer Bennett two months ago, denying large gambling losses:

"Over 10 years, I'd say I've come out pretty close to even."

And here's Bennett now:

"...William Bennett rejects reports that he lost $8 million at casinos over 10 years but acknowledged it was 'a lot of money.' ....

'It was a high level, was a lot of money," he said, and "counting up, has made a difference in our lives.'"

Don't worry, Bill. We never believed you anyway.

But while Bennett has given up gambling, he hasn't given up lying. Says Bill:

"'I'm not a hypocrite,' he said. 'I never got on the soapbox about gambling.'"

Oh, but you are hypocrite, big man.

"Our Founding Fathers understood that America would flourish when its citizens cherished certain ideals. Love of liberty and equality. Attention to the formation of good character. Respect for honesty. Faith. Pride in good work. These are principles that make America great."

"Though all children need to learn some of the same things (the importance of friendship or honesty, for instance), the fact remains that all children are different."

"Every social activity, every human enterprise requiring people to act in concert, is impeded when people aren't honest with one another."

"He has contempt for the truth and for the meaning of words....This remark was truly a Clintonism, a term that may well enter our popular vocabulary, meaning "to tell a fantastic lie in public, accompanied by the appearance of heartfelt sincerity."

I could go on and on and on, but you get the drift. To Billy B., the only real virtue is not getting caught.

Bill will end his career in obscurity, filing Michael Savage's weekend slot on MSNBC.

The Moonie Times Catechism

This is one of the things I hate about the Moonie Times. This article about the Senate Judiciary Committee vote on the Pryor nomination is factually accurate, as far as reporting on what was said during the hearing. But the lead paragraph doesn't contain a single true syllable:

A judicial confirmation hearing yesterday turned into a rancorous debate between Democrats and Republicans over whether it's possible for a devout Catholic to be confirmed to the federal bench.

The debate was about the Republicans' smear of Democratic members as anti-Catholic. Not one Senator spoke for or against the proposition that "it's possible for a devout Catholic to be confirmed to the federal bench." As the Democrats pointed out, it was Whorrin' Hatch who brought up Pryor's religious beliefs. I have no doubt that Hatch brought up the matter in order to appeal to right-wing Catholics, and also to shield Pryor from inquiry into his radical political and legal views.

The sentence is also a lie because, as Senator Richard Durbin, points out, Pryor is a true "cafeteria Catholic." Pryor opposes Church doctrine on the death penalty, and only follows doctrine when it concurs with his political positions.

But it's up to the Catholics to excommunicate Pryor; it's the Senate's job to reject his nomination.

Education Reform with John Lott

John Lott, Jnr says that teachers should be allowed to carry concealed guns on school property, to protect their charges from those who would do them harm. Which begs the question -- why can't the kids pack heat too?

There's no exception in the Second Amendment for the under-sixteens. Sixth-graders who want to bring weapons to school to kill their classmates won't be deterred by school rules prohibiting them from carrying guns, so why should law-abiding pupils be denied the right to defend themselves? Bullying will be a thing of the past, or at least diminish rapidly. And, without the right to even the odds, the kids will just be sitting ducks for any wackjob teacher who wants to pop a cap in their asses.

I'm sick of scholars like John Lott who interpret the Constitution as a "living document" in order to deny our most vulnerable citizens their constitutional rights.

The Old Cracker Barrel

Wesley Pruden, demonic spawn of racists and editor of the Moonie Times equates criticism of the Confederacy with "insult[ing] ... Southern whites"

"Then he [Kweisi Mfume] added a mocking insult of Southern whites, no longer welcome in what was only yesterday the party of (Thomas) Jefferson and (Andrew) Jackson: 'Your political capital is the equivalent of Confederate dollars.'"

Sorry, Klan-boy. The last two elected U.S. Presidents were Southern white Democrats. The only Southern whites not welcome in the Democratic party are you and your fellow racists.

NAACP = PLO

So says discredited Moonie Times writer Bill Sammon, in an opinion piece the Father's rag is passing off as a straight news story:

"President Bush's upcoming meeting with the Urban League, coupled with his snubbing of more-militant black groups, mirrors his outreach to moderate Palestinians while ignoring Yasser Arafat."

But you should read Mad Kane and Felbers' links anyway.

Nevertheless, I caught a few minutes of the panel on C-SPAN. It was kind of a strange set up, with Harold "Mr. Tina Evans" Brown and the four panelists sitting on stools and sort of shoved into a corner. Sid and Gary ably represented truth and justice. Unfortunately, I can't find it in C-SPAN's (very limited) archives, but it was definitely worth viewing.

Catholic Smear

Here's the wingnut Catholic crowd using its religious beliefs to smear non-Catholics, hell, anyone who disagrees with them:

The ads -- probably the toughest so far in the Senate's battle over President Bush's judicial nominations -- accuse "some in the U.S. Senate," apparently meaning Democrats, of opposing the appeals court nomination of Alabama Attorney General William H. Pryor Jr. because he is a devout Catholic.

The ads are being run by the Committee for Justice -- founded by C. Boyden Gray, a White House counsel in the administration of President George H.W. Bush, to help rally support for judicial nominees -- and the Ave Maria List, an organization of lay Catholics that works for the election of antiabortion candidates to Congress.

Apparently the wingnut Bible excludes the false witness bit.

Cap Weinberger: A Reassessment

Roger Ailes is a sensitive blog, and maybe it's been too hard on ol' Cappy Weinberger. After all, if he says that Saddam Hussein had "huge deposits" of WMDs, well, who would know better?

Regnery author and prolific wingnut Kenneth R. Timmerman lays out his case for Weinberger's knowledge of Saddam's arsenal:

Mr. Weinberger's ire over Pollard also had personal overtones. It was Mr. Weinberger who was the strongest promoter within the Reagan administration of the intelligence exchange between America and Iraq, which began as early as 1983, when the State Department removed Iraq from the list of terrorist nations. Besides providing the Israelis with satellite photographs of Iraqi weapons sites, Pollard says he also gave them evidence of the transfer to Iraq of U.S.-manufactured weapons -- a leak that made Mr. Weinberger furious, since he was the official who would have had to approve such a covert transfer.

Clearly, significant damage to national security was caused by the Reagan-era intelligence cooperation with Iraq. Western technology went toward improving Iraq's SCUD-B missiles that helped kill American soldiers and Israeli citizens during the war. U.S. intelligence techniques helped the Iraqis preserve strategic capabilities from Allied air strikes -- and perhaps also from United Nations inspectors, who continue to accuse Iraq of hiding stockpiles of biological agents and chemical weapons production equipment.

Could that explain why Weinberger's so interested in finding Saddam's remains?

Of course, you don't have to believe a wingnut to acknowledge the Reagan Administration's willingness to do business with Saddam, up close and personal. If anyone would know what weapons Saddam had, it would be Saddam's generous buds in the Reagan Administration.

Bork Again

Slouching weirdbeard Bobby Bork must've really wanted tix to that Mel Gibson screening.

Republican judicial martyr Robert Bork has converted to Catholicism, according to U.S. News & World Report's Paul Bedard. The foiled Supreme Court nominee, now 76 and a scholar at the American Enterprise Institute, was baptized a Catholic by a conservative priest and Opus Dei member, C. John McCloskey, at the Catholic Information Center chapel on K Street. The former Protestant's sponsors were National Review pundit Kate O'Beirne and United Press International chief John O'Sullivan. "If you get baptized at my age, all of your sins are forgiven. And that's very helpful," Bork said.

Then he flagellated himself and showed Bob Novak some racy videos of himself and the wife.

(Edited per comments.)

"Eggs-traordinary! Egg-citing!" -- Matt Drudge (Drudge Report)

"Dolphingasmic!" -- Peggy Noonan (Wall Street Journal)

"God-damned foreigners! They'll never succeed if they don't learn English!" -- Linda Chavez (federal lawbreaker)

"Why wasn't I invited? I even kissed the ass of his Hitler-loving dad! I wonder...." -- Michael Medved (Parents Televison Council)

(Via Atrios.)

(Link corrected.)

Try this one on for size, Mikey:

Bush, running down a street, screaming, covered in naplam, with an aircraft labeled "Truth" flying above.

Get it?

(Link via TBogg.)

Maybe He's Canadian

Read this.

Does it bear any resemblance to this: "But the unremitting loathing of the president in the prose, the sneers at anything he might say, the contempt for him that oozes out of every sentence."

Is Sully on crack?

Box of Rocks

Word on the street is that some publication called LA Magazine has a puffer on Mickey Kaus. I've never heard of the rag, so I don't know if it specializes in plastic surgery ads or escort ads. It surely can't be a respected publication if it wastes space profiling the author of this:

Slate's annual retreat is this weekend. They are probably going to try to make us think outside the box again, when all I want to do is curl up inside the box and go to sleep. ... Inside the box is the new outside the box!

Try thinking outside your ass, Kaus.

Lies of the Times

Well, I see Bill Keller hasn't done much to improve the accuracy of the New York Times:

"Ms. Coulter, 39...."

I can't wait to read the correction.

Cap Weinberger Proves The Existence Of Santa Claus

The pardoned Iran-Contra conspirator writes, in the Wall Street Journal:

"That we have not yet located huge deposits of weapons of mass destruction does not mean they do not or did not exist. After all, we have not yet found Saddam Hussein or his remains--but not even Democratic presidential candidates or the New York Times contend that he did not exist."

(Link via Sadly, No.)

Grand Old Police Blotter: The Ballad of Reading Crap Written in Gaol Edition

Perjurer and honorary Republican Lord Jeffrey Archer is being released from prison today, undoubtedly ready to inflict more of his shite novels on unsuspecting readers. Archer has already earned �10 million from the sale of his prison diaries, which fortunately don't contain any sex scenes. The Guardian reports:

Prisoner FF8282 has not been idle during his two years in jail. The disgraced Tory peer, author, fantasist and convicted liar also known as Jeffrey Archer has built up a fighting fund of investments stretching from a retail park in Cumbria to a luxury holiday complex in Majorca, an Observer investigation has discovered. When Archer is released from Hollesley Bay open prison in Suffolk tomorrow he will immediately tap into the �60 million fortune that has expanded in prison along with his waistline. The money will be used in the fight to clear his name, settle scores with old enemies and publicise his new favourite cause: prison reform.

Archer will make a short statement tomorrow before driving to his home in Grantchester, near Cambridge. It is likely to contain a strong expression of his commitment to prison reform following his first-hand experience. The Howard League for Penal Reform confirmed that Archer would be speaking at a conference held by the prison charity in September, if his parole conditions allow.

It appears Mary was unsuccessful in getting Lord Jeff a position in Iraq.

From "The White Man Unburdened"

The carrier was easily within helicopter range of San Diego but G.W. would not have been able to show himself in flight regalia, and so would not have been able to demonstrate how well he wore the uniform he had not honored. Jack Kennedy, a war hero, was always in civvies while he was commander in chief. So was General Eisenhower. George W. Bush, who might, if he had been entirely on his own, have made a world-class male model (since he never takes an awkward photograph), proceeded to tote the flight helmet and sport the flight suit. There he was for the photo-op looking like one more great guy among the great guys. Let us hope that our democracy will survive these nonstop foulings of the nest.

St. Andrew's Cross

Hey, Sully! Don't try that at home.

On second thought: Ah, go ahead.

People aren't buying him either.