Loozer-Palooza

From the party that brought you Chris Sibeni, here's Karl Brabenec, raison d'etre for the sadly still-born Karlpalooza '03.

The Orange County, New York Young Republican was to be feted at a 24th birthday party, dubbed Karlpalooza, to be held during the YR Convention in Boston in July 2003. The party was promoted on a flier circulated in Boston as involving "lots of beer, liquor and sex." The flier also included a counterintuitive request that Young Republicanettes "wear as little clothing as possible."

Regrettably, the blue-noses in the New York State Young Republicans got advance word of Tailhook 2003 and shut down the bash before Karl could get his freak on.

Subsequently, the flier made its way back to bucolic Orange County, putting Brabenec's county patronage job in jeopardy. Master B. denied he had prior knowledge of the flier, which he called "completely unacceptable and in bad taste."

Being familiar with the veracity of balding, oily Republicans named Karl, the Times-Record Herald investigated:

While Brabenec called the planned bash � to mark his 24th birthday � a "surprise," the event has been listed on the Young Republicans Web site for weeks with instructions to "call Karl" at his home number in Slate Hill.

And others who attended the convention in Boston, including former state Young Republicans Chairman Steve Neuhaus of Chester, said Brabenec was standing with Karalis and fellow YR member Joseph M. Petriello as they passed the party invitations among the crowd at Boston's posh Park Plaza hotel.

Hmm.... Asked for further comment, Karl demurred:

"I have no more comment," Brabenec said. "You have my statement."

The Orange County Young Republicans website, as linked by the OC Republican Committee, has also fallen silent. So has Karl's personal website, which has "moved servers."

Who is Young Master Brabenec? Was he one of the bourgeois rioters of Electiontheft 2000?:

Karl is a very caring individual and is always there to lend a helping hand. He went down to Florida last year for the whole presidential election fiasco and I know that he recently went down to volunteer at the World Trade Center site.

We know he's good at P.E., and a major ass-kisser.

Orange County Executive Edward Diana has hired Karl Brabenec, who last year ran for and lost the legislative seat Diana once held. Brabenec, 23, started last week as a staff assistant. The gig pays $38,789 a year....

"I've known Karl a long time," Diana said. "He was a student of mine at Minisink Valley High School. I feel he's highly qualified to serve in our office."

"He was my high school gym teacher," Brabenec said of Diana, a retired educator. "He inspired me as a teacher. He's sort of a role model for me."

And all the young hotties love him.

A few, like Orange County Young Republican Treasurer Laura Vance, who called the Times Herald-Record and a WTBQ talk show yesterday, came to Brabenec's defense. Vance said most of the criticism had come from political rivals, and she brushed off the Republican Women's comments.

"They're a bunch of old hags, and I'll tell them that to their face," Vance said. "I'm a woman, and I don't feel offended. The party never even went on. It's unfair to make a big deal of something back home that happened on someone's vacation."

Ms. Vance went on to describe the thong and see-through bra she had planned to wear to Karlpalooza. WARNING: The foregoing constitutes sarcasm and ridicule. Ms. Vance did not say she intended to wear anything to Karlpalooza.

Meanwhile, party-oriented Young Republicans of Orange County will have to make do with sex-free events like the $150.00 a plate "Brunch on the River" for Brabenec's boss. And Karl will have to make do with the stack of Glamours at his mom's house.