Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Autoerotcorrect

A lot of people doing a Google search for "Althouse" are going to be terribly disappointed.

Unless they really really enjoy comments by blithering old male idiots.

Monday, January 27, 2014

Marty Peretz Walks Into A Bar .... Hearing

Somehow, this wasn't helpful:
Martin Peretz, who owned and managed The New Republic at the time of the fabrications, testified on Glass's behalf and had developed a charitable view of his misconduct by the time of the California State Bar hearing. He blamed himself and, even more, the magazine's editors for encouraging Glass to write zany, shocking articles and for failing to recognize the improbability of some of Glass's stories. He found the harm of the scandal to the magazine to be minimal. He had renewed social contact with Glass in the past few years and believed that Glass had been harshly treated. He would not rule out hiring Glass again as a journalist.  He explained that in his experience as a professor “[t]he most brilliant students plagiarize,” complaining to the Committee‟s counsel, “I actually find your pursuing him an act of stalking.”

Grand Old Police Blotter: D'Souza P'Alooza Edition

The Dinesh D'Souza stupidity spree just keeps getting better. Turns out the strawd'onors were not married to each other. One was "other woman" in D'Souza's life and pants, the other was an employee of D'Souza (and possibly of his employer, The King's College).  

That's right, D'Souza's bit on the side was "donating" dollars to D'Souza's college pal in the name of the husband she was cuckolding, according to Gawker:
On August 30, 2012, according to a quarterly report filed two months later, the Long campaign received a $10,000 donation under the name of [Denise Odie] Joseph’s husband. On the same day, the campaign received another $10,000 donation, under [personal assistant Tyler] Vawser’s name. Campaign finance law caps individual contributions at $5,000, so both donations were flagged by Long’s treasurer for “reattribution/redesignation.” (By then D’Souza and his wife Dixie had both contributed the maximum amount to Long’s campaign.)
Vawser’s $10,000 donation was never split up or refunded, according to subsequent FEC filings. But on October 22, 2012—a week after D’Souza’s affair with Joseph scandalized the evangelical community and D’Souza resigned his presidency at The King’s College—Long’s treasurer “reattributed” $5,000 of Louis Joseph’s original donation to Denise Joseph, leaving Louis with an identical $5,000 contribution. (It's not clear from the filings why Joseph received a post-election refund for $5,000—a perfectly legal amount of money.)
So while D'Souza was married, he gave his mistress $5K to give to third woman or he told his mistress to give the third woman $5K with a promise of repayment. In the name of her chump hubby.

Worse than D'Souza's scummy relationship is the fact that he involved his employee in his crimes.  

Jesus would totally do that.  

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Let's Just Declare Intellectual Bankruptcy and Shut This Whole Thing Down

I hate to judge a book by its cover, but ...
Henry David Thoreau leaves the seclusion of Walden Pond to help investigate a series of murders in the first in B. B. Oak's fascinating new historical mystery series, set against the bucolic backdrop of 19th century New England.
Wha --
Angered by the injustice, Adam and his lovely cousin Julia Bell agree to assist Thoreau in investigating. Adam notes in his new friend all the makings of a great detective—an encyclopedic knowledge of the natural world, uncanny observational skills, a sharp instinct for detecting human foibles. As the case progresses, the mysteries only deepen and there is no mistaking the brutal slaying of a womanizing army captain as anything other than the coldest murder. Journeying from their tranquil village to Boston’s most disreputable district, they gradually uncover the monstrous truth -- even while a vicious killer prepares to end their inquiry for good.
In the sequel, "Frazer Is Killed," Thoreau teams up with his former lover, Union super-spy Emily Dickinson, in a race against time to discover the identity of the shadowy Southerner known only as "Booth."

The Albommies

I'm thinking of doing, when the NCAA b-ball tourney time comes around, a bracket with the 64 worst contemporary American popular fiction authors. The only problem will be narrowing it down.

Googlenacht

Steve M. reports on the Re-Rise of Fascism in Baghdad-by-the-Bay, complete with an attack on S.F.'s own Stalin (Danielle).

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Grand Old Police Blotter: Long Dongs D'Souza Edition

The key prosecution witness in the felony campaign law violation case against ladies man Dinesh D'Souza is the beneficiary of his largess:
[Wendy] Long, an old friend of D'Souza's from their Dartmouth days, will testify against him at trial, prosecutor Carrie Cohen told Judge Richard Berman at the "Roots of Obama's Rage" author's arraignment.
Long "informed the government that Mr. D'Souza lied to her about the source of those donations," Cohen said.
She said D'Souza had exceeded campaign contribution limits by giving her cash through two of his married friends.
Here's where it gets interesting. 
"One worked with him and the other lived with him," Cohen said.
This isn't particularly clear.  Were the friends married to each other?  If so, why was one was living with D'Souza?  Where was the girlfriend Opie living?  Sounds kinky.
They each donated $10,000 to Long and behalf of themselves and their spouses — and then D'Souza repaid them in cash a "one or two days later," Cohen said.
Individual donations are supposed to be capped at $5,000. The two straw donors have given witness statements to the feds, and will also testify against D'Souza at trial, Cohen said.
The line to throw D'Souza under the bus is a long one. 
D'Souza's high-powered lawyer, Benjamin Brafman, said he wasn't challenging most of Cohen's facts — but he was challenging her conclusion that what his client did was criminal.
"There was no 'quid pro quo' in this case," Brafman said, and the director "did not act with any corrupt or criminal intent whatsoever."
"At worse, this was an act of misguided friendship by D'Souza," he said.
High-powered doesn't guarantee high value, it seems. Brafman's got nothing.
D’Souza was released on $500,000 bond.
Or 100 illegal campaign contributions bond, as D'Souza calls it.

Meanwhile, D'Souza's suckers supporters are busy dreaming up left-wing conspiracies to explain the prosecution. I'm sure they'll zip back up once they learn that D'Souza was gift-wrapped for the feds by a former law clerk for Clarence "Gin and Pubes" Thomas.

Between the legal fees and fines, D'Souza's supporters suckers are going to pay through the nose for this caper.  Shame they can do his prison time for him. 

Friday, January 24, 2014

Type 2 Diabetes Daddy Schools The B****es

Ted Nugent's opening act unveils the G.O.P.'s grand campaign to court women voters
The Democrat Party platform appeals to whores.  You're not a stupid whore, are you?
Update:  What he said

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Grand Old Police Blotter: Long D'Ong D'Souza Edition

Whenever two or more are gathered in His name, it's a criminal conspiracy. Leading Christian criminal Dinesh D'Souza, last seen sexing up a woman other than his wife, has now been nailed as tthe ringleader of a criminal enterprise.
Federal prosecutors in Manhattan said that Mr. D’Souza encouraged others to give $20,000 to a Senate candidate and reimbursed them for the donations. Election law prohibits such arrangements and caps donations at $5,000 per donor to any one candidate.
The Senate candidate was not identified in the indictment. Mr. D’Souza donated to only one federal candidate in 2012, giving $5,000 toWendy Long, a New York Republican who lost her challenge to Senator Kirsten E. Gillibrand, a Democrat.
“Mr. D’Souza did not act with any corrupt or criminal intent whatsoever,” his lawyer, Benjamin Brafman, said in a statement. “He and the candidate have been friends since their college days, and at most, this was an act of misguided friendship by D’Souza.”
It's not a crime if you're friends, and the 5K re-payments to the strawdonors were just a coincidence. 

D'Souza and Long were last in the news together in their roles as the trustees of an anti-Semitic college newspaper.  If he's convicted, maybe he can join a Neo-Nazi prison gang.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

It's Also Good News For John McCain

Meeeegan McArdle claims she won one of those debates where you "win" the debate by planting losers in the audience who will lie and claim they changed their position to your side in the course of two hours.  In truth, McArdle's side lost the debate, 59 to 32 percent.  But the libertarian half-wit claims victory by virtue of decreasing by 16 percent the total votes against her. (That's how Mitt Romney became our 46th President, dont'cha know?)

No doubt the McArdle trophy case is full of participation ribbons, stretched out of shape during McArdle's efforts to pry them from their bearers.

And then there's this:
My favorite moment from the debate, and I’m obviously biased, occurred when McArdle denied that she philosophically opposes national health insurance, prompting me to quote the headline of this 2009 McArdle column, “Why I Oppose National Health Care.”
Lying to achieve "victory," The oldest libertarian trick in The Fountainhead.   

Fear of Plowing

What the zipless fuck?
They largely ignored the well-heeled Upper East Side until nearly 5 inches fell — according to the city’s PlowNYC Web site — and by then, buses were stranded and people could barely cross the streets.
...
 “The Upper East Side did not vote for [de Blasio],” said lifelong resident Molly Jong Fast, daughter of famed novelist Erica Jong.
She said de Blasio “is trying to get us back.”
Not enough coddling for you, Molly?

A few inches of powder destroys one's self-consciousness, it seems:
But it’s hardly the Upper East Side she knew growing up, says Jong-Fast, who, though now married to an investment banker, prefers that people be “self-conscious about their wealth, especially in these times.” Dressed in black the other day, with no makeup, bangles or earrings, she looked more downtown than up.
Then again, she says, when she grew up — with bohemian-writer parents in a hot-pink townhouse on 94th Street — money wasn’t something you flaunted.
While they were upper-middle-class and sent little Molly to private school, they didn’t dispatch her there by limo, as some parents did.
“They liked to make fun of rich people,” she says of her mom, dad and stepdad. “Maybe they were jealous!”
Or maybe Mom wasn't scared of five inches.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Grand Old Police Blotter: Buy Your Own Bob Edition

The first Republican governor to be indicted in 2014 isn't the one regularly found in line at the Golden Corral's endless buffet. But he is just as insatiable:
Former Virginia governor Robert F. McDonnell and his wife Maureen were charged Tuesday with illegally accepting gifts, luxury vacations and large loans from a wealthy Richmond-area businessman who sought special treatment from state government.
Authorities alleged that McDonnell and his wife received gifts from executive Jonnie R. Williams again and again, lodging near constant requests for money, clothes, trips, golf accessories and private plane rides.
...
The two were charged with 14 felony counts, including wire fraud, conspiracy to commit wire fraud, obtaining property under color of their official office and conspiring to the do the same [sic].
They were also charged with making false statements to a federal credit union.
McDonnell was also charged with making a false statement to a financial institution, and Maureen McDonnell was charged with obstructing the investigation.
McDonnell denies he did anything illegal, in what appears to be a modified IOKIYAR defense. He also appears to blame the Bush recession for his troubles:
In addition to the Virginia Beach houses, purchased for $2 million in 2005 and 2006, the McDonnells also owned a $1 million home at the Wintergreen resort with his sisters and an $835,000 home outside Richmond. The first lady confided to friends that they were having trouble making mortgage payments on the homes and feared an embarrassing foreclosure that would likely become public.
Mrs. Governor Mo-Bob a former Washington Football Club cheerleader with "a long standing interest ... in wellness and diet" demonstrates a classic case of guilty knowledge which will make an ignorance of the law defense impossible.
She then engaged in a pattern of buying and selling the stock [in Star Scientific] that appeared as though it was intended to skirt state disclosure requirements, which require elected officials and their spouses to report stock holdings that exceed $10,000 in any one company.
She sold the shares for a loss in December 2011, just before the annual disclosure form was due in January, and then bought her shares back the following month, just days after the form was filed. In December 2012, with the disclosure form coming due again, she distributed the shares among her five adult children, meaning the couple once again did not have to reveal the holding when they filed in January.
If Va.'s disclosure laws actually allow such bullshittery, which seems doubtful, it's hard to believe they weren't designed with that specific purpose in mind.

Governor Bob would do well to cut a deal and throw Mrs. Mo-Bob under the Porsche Cayenne, before she does unto him.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Obscene as Cancer, Bitter As The Pud

Bill Kristol, a man who literally wouldn't give a second thought about you dying for his country, feels "we" have become too jaded about the glories of martial sacrifice.  Who're you gonna trust on this one, some Limey ponce who wrote poems, or the brains behind Dan Quayle, Alan Keyes and the invasion of Iraq?

Lest we forget: Not only Neo-Cons, but also the original Cons, were high on The Old Lie:
The phrase is located on the second monument of the Point Lookout Confederate Cemetery in Point Lookout, MD, and at the Confederate Cemetery in the Manassas National Battlefield Park.

A century of bitter disgust with Bill Kristol is too short.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Affiants Unclear On The Concept

The New York Times has an article about a nutty blogger who was arrested for violation of a court order and resisting arrest, and has others claiming his imprisonment raises First Amendment concerns.  As described in the article, the court rulings seem questionable, even though the blogger is clearly a nut. 

My main interest in the article is this paragraph, which describes one Liberty Duke's efforts to deny the nutjob blogger's claim she had been impregnated by some dude:
His allegations are frequently salacious, including a recent assertion that a federal judge had appeared in a gay pornographic magazine and a theory that several suicides were actually a string of politically motivated murders. Starting in January 2013, Mr. Shuler, citing unidentified sources, began writing that Robert Riley Jr., the son of the former governor, had impregnated a lobbyist named Liberty Duke and secretly paid for an abortion. Both denied it, and Ms. Duke swore in an affidavit that they had never even been alone in the same room.
Someone explain the facts of life to Ms. Duke.

On the whole, the article doesn't reflect too well on bloggers.
In addition to the aforementioned nut, the article also references the National Bloggers Club, another dubious organization with a Jon Nicosia-like leader. (The article doesn't mention the leader's criminal history.)  A casual reader of the article might get the impression that all bloggers are dishonest, anti-social obsessives when, in reality, that only describes wingnut bloggers.

Friday, January 10, 2014

Incoherent Like the Wolff

Michael Wolff writes a column critical of Gabe Sherman for penning a book on (the other) Roger Ailes. He's not panning the book, because he couldn't get a review copy, or something. His criticisms appear to be that Sherman wrote the book even though Ailes denied Sherman's interview requests because Sherman's a liberal, and that Sherman enumerated the precise number of interviews he did, like Kitty Kelley does, rather than giving a ballpark estimate. Wolff suggests that an unauthorized bio is suspect ("without direct access to its subject, [the book] exists in a limbo of the speculative and questionable") because only the subject will tell you the God's honest truth about her or himself.

The column loses all coherence in the final paragraph:
Sherman, somewhat disingenuously, keeps saying that Ailes is a larger-than-life figure on the level of William Randolph Hearst. But Hearst's story, as told in Citizen Kane by Orson Welles, whom Hearst disdained and refused to speak to, has the key distinction of actually being fiction.
What the flying fuck does this mean? That Wm. Randolph Hearst is a fictional character in a story? That Orson Wells' Citizen Kane -- which Sherman wasn't comparing Ailes to -- is fiction? That Sherman shouldn't write an Ailes bio because Citizen Kane is fiction? That authors should only write fictional biographies of people they can't speak to?

And why is it somewhat disingenuous to keep saying that Ailes is a larger-than-life figure on the level of Hearst -- because Hearst is on a higher level of largeness? Because no one's made a fictional movie about an Ailes-like network president?

Rosebud wept.

Thursday, January 09, 2014

We Pray

that Governor Christie's victimization at the hands of disloyal underlings doesn't permanently harm his friendship with Morning Joe.

Lord, hear our prayer.

Wednesday, January 08, 2014

Governor Christie Responds to Controversy

The governor issued a five-sentence statement late Wednesday in response to the controversy:
"Holy underwear! Sheriff murdered! Innocent women and children blown to bits! We have to protect our phoney baloney jobs here, gentlemen! We must do something about this immediately! Immediately! Immediately! Harrumph! Harrumph! Harrumph!"
Wait. I'm told that was a rough transcript.

Try this one:
What I've seen today for the first time is unacceptable. I am outraged and deeply saddened to learn that not only was I misled by a member of my staff, but this completely inappropriate and unsanctioned conduct was made without my knowledge. One thing is clear: this type of behavior is unacceptable and I will not tolerate it because the people of New Jersey deserve better. This behavior is not representative of me or my Administration in any way, and people will be held responsible for their actions. Harrumph! Harrumph! Harrumph!"
And by "What I've seen today for the first time," Christie is referring to unfavorable press coverage.

The actions of the representatives of my Administration are not representative of my Administration, he added.

Be sure you've jotted that down correctly, media lapdogs.

Time for A Blog Name Change?

So as not to be confused with this scumbag.

Right-Wing Media Empires Run By Criminals Not Named Murdoch

The right-wing media news site Mediaite was forced to disclose Saturday that its top editor (who was working under an assumed name) was twice convicted for fraud and spent a number of years in the state pen.  The editor also stands accused of domestic abuse, and making specious criminal charges against a lover, who was acquitted of the charges. The man appears to be a mash-up of Jordan Belfort, Patrick Bateman and an idiot Steve Wozniak.

Nevertheless, he did his time, although it's not clear whether he paid restitution to his victims or feels any remorse. The only thing he's currently guilty of is managing a criminally stupid website.  But if there's more, you won't read about it on Mediaite.

Update (1/12):  Another site reports the dude liked to tell Mediaite underlings he was a doctor, and his partner was in "black ops."  More credible than anything else published on Mediaite.

Jerseystrongarm

One of Big Pussy's lieutenants is about to get whacked. The countdown until she disappears from BP's official website and BP lies that she went rogue will be measured in hours, not days.
Bridget Kelly, Governor Christie’s deputy chief of staff for legislative and intergovernmental affairs, uses her personal Gmail account to contact David Wildstein, one of two Christie appointees at the Port Authority. Her email contains one line: “Time for some traffic problems in Fort Lee.”
Wildstein replies one minute later with two words: “Got it,” according to emails obtained by The Record. 
That would be this thug
Bridget Anne Kelly, Deputy Chief of Staff for Legislative and Intergovernmental Affairs
Bridget Kelly currently serves as Deputy Chief of Staff for Legislative and Intergovernmental Affairs, a role she was named to by Governor Chris Christie in April 2013. Prior to assuming that role, she was Director of Intergovernmental & Legislative Affairs where she oversaw the day-to-day operations of the Christie Administration’s outreach efforts to elected officials at all levels of government, faith-based and community organizations and trade associations. Bridget joined the Christie Administration in 2010 as Director of Legislative Relations where she managed the Administration’s relationship with the 120-member Legislature and their legislative staff.
She first joined state government as a legislative aide to Assemblyman David C. Russo (R- Bergen, Essex, Passaic & Morris), eventually becoming Chief of Staff in 2002. Outside of state government, Bridget has been a member of a number of municipal boards and committees, as well as active in the local and county Republican organizations. She also has served on the Parent Faculty Board at her children’s school.
Bridget is a New Jersey native and graduated from Mount St. Mary’s University in Emmitsburg, MD with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Political Science. She currently lives in Ramsey with her four children.
Even FOX is barely downplaying the revelations, at least until Christie grovels before my namesake, Even Bigger Pussy.

Monday, January 06, 2014

Luntz Kan't Danz

America, you have crushed the spirit of squirrel-toupeed pollster Frank Luntz:
The crisis began, he says, after last year's presidential election, when Luntz became profoundly depressed. For more than a month, he tried to stay occupied, but nothing could keep his attention. Finally, six weeks after the election, during a meeting of his consulting company in Las Vegas, he fell apart. Leaving his employees behind, he flew back to his mansion in Los Angeles, where he stayed for three weeks, barely going outside or talking to anyone.
"I just gave up," Luntz says.
Luntz has a $6 million mansion in Los Angeles, a home in Virginia, an apartment in New York City, a condo on the Las Vegas Strip, an 85-inch teevee and a collection of vintage toys, all earned by telling Republicans what they want to hear. And he hates you.
The entitlement he now hears from the focus groups he convenes amounts, in his view, to a permanent poisoning of the electorate—one that cannot be undone. "We have now created a sense of dependency and a sense of entitlement that is so great that you had, on the day that he was elected, women thinking that Obama was going to pay their mortgage payment, and that's why they voted for him," he says. "And that, to me, is the end of what made this country so great."
Mitt ... er, Frank ... hates you fucking bastards more and more each time you show up to one of his focus groups, take his 40 bucks and drink his coffee, and don't tell him what he wants to sell to his network/skybox-owning SuperFriends.

Take a victory lap, America.

Will The Editors Of The New York Post Be Fired For Their Bigotry?

Asked no Howard Kurtz ever:
If anyone ever thought Kurtz was anything more that a wingnut Murdoch castrati, their delusions should end right now.

More here.

Liz Cheney Pulls Out

So Dick Cheney pulled the plug on Liz.  I always thought it would be the other way around.

Friday, January 03, 2014

The Inevitable Pindick Burns

David Brooks waxes nostalgic:
On my journeys to South Philly, I set a goal: I was going to spend $20 on an ounce. But although I asked my dealer for the most expensive shit he had -- Acapulco Gold, "panama red," or whatever — I always failed.

Wednesday, January 01, 2014

Tar Heels All Wounds

An early contender for the 2014 Renault Award:
The university provost, James W. Dean Jr., said in an interview that there had been no way to anticipate such behavior on a large scale in an institution that relies on the professionalism and basic good will of its employees.
"Universities for a very long time have been based on trust,” Mr. Dean said. “One of the ramifications of this is that now we can no longer operate on trust.”
College athletes being given unearned grades to maintain eligibility -- how could we have known?  It's not like UNC is running a business, where things like that could be expected.

Dean Deanie may have a stroke when someone tells him about "gifts from alumni."