2010

Well, that could have gone better.

Grand Old Police Blotter: CPAC of Thieves Edition

CPAC's not just all about hatred of gays. It's a regular criminal family enterprise, if WorldNutDaily is to be believed:

Someone this week leaked a juicy story to WorldNetDaily indicating that $400,000 in donor funds had been embezzled from the American Conservative Union, an old-line conservative advocacy group that organizes the annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC). The premiere Republican political convention, CPAC is the testing ground for GOP presidential contenders that has been addressed by everyone from Ronald Reagan to Dick Cheney. ACU apparently disclosed the theft in its recent tax filings, noting that it had referred the case to the authorities. WND points out that the nonprofit group's bookkeeper was the ex-wife of ACU chairman David Keene, and that she had been fired earlier this year.

The story is an especially nasty hit on ACU by an organization that would normally be considered a friend. But not only did the conservative website best known for its regular "birther" updates break the news of the ACU scandal, but WND also took the opportunity to pile on Keene. WND dragged up a host of other scandals from the ACU's past, including the fact that Keene's son is serving a 10-year prison sentence for a road rage incident in Virginia in which he fired a gun at another motorist, narrowly missing his head. At the time, David Michael Keene was apparently working for his father at ACU. According to WND, the incident proved even more embarrassing for the elder Keene, who is a high ranking member of the National Rifle Association and currently poised to become its next president.

It's unusual for conservatives to air their dirty laundry like this, and it came during a serious internecine ideological battle in the conservative movement that's largely about gays. Over the past few weeks, CPAC organizers have been fighting over whether or not the gay conservative group GOProud should be allowed to participate in the conference. Last year, CPAC allowed GOProud a table in the exhibit hall, and social conservative groups went bezerk, threatening to boycott. During the conference, a speaker from the California Young Americans for Freedom gave a homophobic rant attacking CPAC for allowing GOProud a spot at the conference. This year, GOProud is looking to be more involved, and again the evangelicals are in a tizzy, threatening to boycott the conference and generally throwing bombs at ACU, which has been putting on the show since the early 1970s.

So David Keene's son is a convicted homocidal nutjob and his ex-wife's an alleged thief, according to WorldNutDaily. Of course, WorldNutDaily's usually full of shit, although the kid's shooting incident is a verifiable fact. This smells of a turf war, and I expect to see many more deserving casualties before the war is over.

The Failure of Integration

CPAC tried to force Concerned Women of America and the Family Research Council to shower with GOProud, and they're having none of it. They'll only shower with James Dobson.

All That and a Bag of Dicks

Andy Sullivan's milky loads wrangler, Patty Appel, has given up any hope of a career in journalism and has devoted his life to polishing Andy's toy trophies. Here, he's proffering a "Moore Award" to this post, which Patty would have written himself -- under Andy's signature -- if only he'd had the intelligence, wit and (Andy's artificial) testosterone necessary to craft such a masterpiece.

But being a subnormal dick is its own reward. Here's a glimpse at Patty's First and Only Life:

I get up around 8 am, check Memeorandum, and skim new items in my RSS reader until about 10 am. As I’m reading, I open around fifty posts in tabs for closer inspection. I then read through those tabs, delete most of them, and draft the best. According to Google Reader, I have 1,086 blogs in my RSS reader and have read 16,070 posts in the last 30 days. This is down from a high of about 32,000 posts during the height of the election. The blogs are sorted into different categories: politics, right partisans, left partisans, science, economics, pop culture, and so on. Depending upon the news of the day, I will focus on one folder or another. I’ll also look through the 450 or so e-mails that the Dish inbox gets everyday. I draft posts steadily until noon or 1 pm and break for lunch.

After lunch, I’ll take care of any other Dish related work I might have and then I return to reading. At this point, I will usually draft a half dozen posts for the weekend. We try to bank most of the weekend in advance, which requires finding posts and articles that will still feel fresh a couple of days down the road. Weekends consist of magazine articles, science writing, religion, out of the way pop culture items, and other fairly timeless posts. After that, I will check back in with the news of the day and will start blogging up the next morning. At 6 pm or 7 pm, I break for dinner. After dinner, I will usually return to the blog and finish scheduling posts for the next morning. Depending upon the tempo of the news, I work anywhere from ten to fourteen hours a day.

Now that's living!

If you're so inclined, you can congratulate Patty on his life's work by voting in his little contest and then leaving a comment for him on the results page. If you don't want Joe Miller to be the person most humiliated by write-in voting in 2010, that is.

The Other White Man's Burden

In a sense, of course, there's no better time to be a Christian than the first 25 days of December. But this is also the season when American Christians can feel most embattled. Their piety is overshadowed by materialist ticky-tack. Their great feast is compromised by Christmukkwanzaa multiculturalism. And the once-a-year churchgoers crowding the pews beside them are a reminder of how many Americans regard religion as just another form of midwinter entertainment, wedged in between “The Nutcracker” and “Miracle on 34th Street.”

Why, it's almost as if people don't have to believe the same things about Christianity or Christmas that Ross Douthat does. That can't be right.

White Man's Burden

Who besides Ben Smith of Politicho weeps for stale crackers?

Race is a hard issue for older conservative politicians from the Deep South seeking national office. The roots of Southern Republicanism are in the segregationist split from the Democratic Party, and so there's no presumption of innocence, and no second chance, as Trent Lott learned.

Mr. Smith appears to have forgotten that Trent Lott left the Senate because he wanted to set up shop as a lobbyist before the rules were ever-so-gently tweaked. He could look it up.

Mr. Lott continues to suffer for his sins here:

Patton Boggs LLP's acquisition of The Breaux Lott Leadership Group (BLLG) in July 2010 combines the nation's highest-revenue producing public policy law firm with one of the most recognizable strategic consulting and lobbying firms in public policy.

Don't Tell Either

Libertarian Fonzie and his toadys haven't weighed in on the DADT repeal either. Maybe they don't think federal regulation of sexual orientation implicates liberty cocerns, at least when the regulations don't interfere their patron's anal sex film empire. Or maybe they're still at Joe Manchin's Christmas party.

Don't Tell

We know how presidential hopeless Jim DeMint voted on the repeal of DADT, but what about the other hopefuls - Gingrich, Sharia Plain, Willard, Huckleberry (Mike, not Fred), &c? I haven't seen any reporting on this, but I'm confident the press is checking Palin's Twitter feed so they can republish her thoughts if and when she has any.

Post script: Huckleberry was agin repeal back in the day, when the military brass was still willing to cover his ample ass.

The Intellect of the Party

Newt Gingrich looks beyond the partition and takes the measure of a man:

"We have very different personalities and different styles," Gingrich told me recently. "You have to measure Boehner against other Boehners -- you can't measure him against me."

Sounds like he's describing the Republican presidential primaries. Or his strategy for defeating Sarah Palin in those primaries.

Because otherwise that makes no sense.

(Via Fire Megan McArdle.)

I'm Gay

The news media have confirmed it.

Update: Second source confirmation.

Lying Is The Reason for The Reason

Anyone surprised that Reason Magazine's standards of accuracy are even lower than John Stossel's:

And not one scintilla of digging to see if Cuba had actually banned the movie! In fact, just the opposite. The right wing press started to have a field day reporting a lie (Andy Levy of Fox -- twice -- Reason Magazine, Spectator and Hot Air, plus a slew of blogs).

Libertarians think you're stupid enough to believe anything they say.

The Hall of Shame

Lamar Alexander R TN
John Barrasso R WY
Robert F. Bennett R UT
Christopher S. Bond R MO
Sam Brownback R KS
Saxby Chambliss R GA
Tom Coburn R OK
Thad Cochran R MS
Bob Corker R TN
John Cornyn R TX
Michael D. Crapo R ID
Jim DeMint R SC
Michael B. Enzi R WY
Lindsey Graham R SC
Charles E. Grassley R IA
Kay Bailey Hutchison R TX
James M. Inhofe R OK
Johnny Isakson R GA
Mike Johanns R NE
Jon Kyl R AZ
George S. LeMieux R FL
Richard G. Lugar R IN
John McCain R AZ
Mitch McConnell R KY
Jim Risch R ID
Pat Roberts R KS
Jeff Sessions R AL
Richard C. Shelby R AL
John Thune R SD
David Vitter R LA
Roger Wicker R MS
Jim Bunning R KY
Judd Gregg R NH
Orrin G. Hatch R UT
Joe Manchin III D WV

And credit where credit is due to the hated Joe I. Lieberman. You're not all bad, Joe.

Rush Limbaugh, Rapist

Big Pharma drops his pants, does some major excavation work, and starts fantasizing about rape:

The election results were clear. If we were a woman, and the Congress were a man, we’re in the middle of being raped.... We said ‘no’ in November, i.e., the election. We have said no at every opportunity, and yet they continue.

Leaving aside his obscenity of a metaphor, Big Pharma's exactly wrong. The current members of Congress were elected for an entire term, which has not been completed. They weren't elected to a term of five years and ten months, or one year and ten months. None of the persons first elected in November 2010 were elected to do anything in November and December 2010. (And, of course, "we" voted for our own Representative and Senator, not for the entire Congress. And the Senate "we voted for" in 2010 has clear instructions to oppose Pigboy's platform.) It's Pigboy who wants to "rape" the voters who elected their Congresspersons to the current Congress.

Rush Limbaugh is the moral equivalent of Robert Chambers after he consumed two other Robert Chambers.

All-Libertarian Rejects

Even if you include her Holiday Gift Guides,this is the stupidest thing that Meegan MeCardle has said in the last year:

It takes a lot of social capital to get into Columbia.

Over at Stale, Little Lord Saletan asks, "If Heterosexuality is OK, Why Is Incest Wrong?"

Oh, wait. No, he doesn't.

Dickhead.

Goin' Labile

What is the deal with Cry-Baby Boehner? Guy has "needs rehab" all over him.

Matt Yglesias Explains It All For You

A “parking lot” is basically just an empty piece of land set aside for cars....

But what are these "cars" of which you basically just speak?

The rest of the post is just as bad, if not worse.

The Dream Police

Any time I start to feel bad about the suicide of Newsweek magazine, this cheers me up.

Shakedown

So what did the RNC give the Steele-Pelted Radical to make him go away?

A bargain, no matter what.

Win Ben Stein's Slavish Devotion

A moment later, Nixon returned to Jews: "The Jews are just a very aggressive and abrasive and obnoxious personality."

...

"The emigration of Jews from the Soviet Union is not an objective of American foreign policy," Mr. Kissinger said. "And if they put Jews into gas chambers in the Soviet Union, it is not an American concern. Maybe a humanitarian concern."

"I know," Nixon responded. "We can't blow up the world because of it."

...

"I didn’t notice many Jewish names coming back from Vietnam on any of those lists; I don’t know how the hell they avoid it," he said, adding: "If you look at the Canadian-Swedish contingent, they were very disproportionately Jewish. The deserters."

Is it any wonder Stein's a creationist?

Update (12/13): Marty Peretz, creationist.

Shorter Chris Hitch

I find this new crop of ignorant conservative conspiratorialists much less sexy than my dear friends Barbara, Ann and David, whose delusions more closely coincide with my own.

That "possibly" is a nice revisionist touch, Chris.

Media Matters uncovers Exhibit B that Fox News is a Republican Party operative (Exhibit A being the content of its "news" programming), and Howard Kurtz attempts damage control on behalf of Fox. Says Howard, who appears to lack any access to a television set:

The significance of the marching orders is that they were issued to the news division, which aims to be fair and balanced and is run separately from the opinion side, populated by the likes of Hannity and Glenn Beck.

Republishing a lie once a week won't make it true, Howie.

Howie also lovingly reprints this steamer from Fox News VP Bill Sammon:

"I have no idea what the Republicans were pushing or not. It's simply an accurate, fair, objective term."

That claim would be laughable from a journalist. From a bought-and-paid-for whore, it's just pathetic.

Two Palestinians Walk Into A Hail of Machine Gun Fire

TNR Society Exclusive: The 2010 Humor Issue
December 2, 2010 (The Humor Issue)
Dear TNR Society Subscriber:

This is not a joke.

We’re pleased to present you with the following Special TNR Society Digital Bonus Issue: The Humor Issue, an anthology of humorous pieces that have appeared in TNR over the ages. Yes, we have W.H Auden cracking wise. And better yet, he’s making funnies about Freud. This collection is my platonic ideal of winter break reading. There’s Michael Kinsley’s famous dead-pan attack on the New Yorker (and its fastidious fact-checking); the great Henry Fairlie’s rollicking broadside against Vanity Fair, as well as pieces by Woody Allen, Michael Lewis, and James Wolcott. I’m quite certain you will enjoy.

This special bonus issue comes with many thanks to you, our most valuable readers, for your support of our efforts every day, every year. We’re grateful for your continued engagement with us.

Happy Holidays,

Franklin Foer Editor

Wolcott's "Yada Yada Yada" almost makes this worth the price of admission. Three pieces by Frankie Foer means it's just a toss-off.

Update: We expect the 2011 Humor Issue will contain less Foer.

Happy Holidays

And Then There Were Sixty

Eleven months ago, I complied a list of 64 potential Republican presidential hopefuls. The list read like this:

ALEXANDER, Lamar!
ALLEN, George
ARMEY, Dick
BACHMANN, Michelle
BARBOUR, Haley
BECK, Glenn
BENNETT, Bill
BLACKBURN, Marsha
BLACKWELL, Kenneth J.
BOENHER, John
BROWN, Scott
BROWNBACK, Sam
BURTON, Dan
BUSH, George P.
BUSH, John Ellis
CANTOR, Eric
CAO, Ahn
CHENEY, Richard B.
CHENEY, Elizabeth
CHRISTIE, Chris
DELAY, Tom
DEMINT, Jim
DOBBS, Lou
DOBSON, Richard
DREIER, David
ENSIGN, John
ERICKSON, Eric
FIORINA, Carleton S.
FLAKE, Jeff
FRIST, Bill
GINGRICH, Newt
GRAHAM, Lindsey
GUILIANI, Rudolph
HUTCHINSON, Kay Bailey
LIEBERMAN, Joseph I.
HUCKABEE, Michael
JINDAL, Piyush
LIMBAUGH, Rush
KEYES, Alan
KYL, John
McCAIN, John Sidney
McCONNELL, Mitch
McDONNELL, Bob
PALIN, Sarah
PAUL, Ron
PAWLENTY, Tim
PENCE, Mike
PERKINS, Tony
PERRY, Rick
REED, Ralph
REYNOLDS, Glenn
ROBERTSON, Marion
ROMNEY, Willard
RYAN, Tim [bka Paul]
SANTORUM, Rick
SCARBOROUGH, Joe
SHELBY, Richard
STEELE, Michael
TANCREDO, Tom
THOMPSON, Fred
VITTER, David
WURZELBACHER, Samuel
WARREN, Rick

Scott Brown took himself off the list yesterday, when he announced his support for the repeal of DADT. (No, that wouldn't stop I, Lieberman from running.) Tom DeLay won't be visiting Iowa or New Hampshire or FOX News HQ any time soon, and Dick Cheney probably won't either. Carelton Fiorina will save her money. Everyone else is still a go.

Correct the Typo

So what does the Corner-reading crowd think of Twitter? Do you follow? Do you think it’s an advance or decline? Sometimes I wonder as I’m flirting with being a twit.

If you're stumped, this might help:

there is a three-legged dog outside the starbucks on the house side of the hill. in case the coffee doesn't work.
about 5 hours ago via web

You Dick

Dick Morris and Eileen McGann
Hillary Is Up to Her Old Tricks

If anyone knows old tricks, it's Dick Morris. Just ask his prostitute pals.

The Wikileaks documents show that Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton has, as Voltaire said about the Bourbon kings of France, learned nothing and forgotten nothing.

Which is why she's Secretary of State, Dick, and you're a bottom feeding toe sucker.

Among the things which Dick hasn't learned is the difference between Voltaire and Talleyrand.

So why is Dick pissing himself like his $20 date just pulled out a rolled-up newspaper? (This time?)

The Wikileaks documents show that you cannot only not teach an old dog new tricks, but you can't stop her from doing the ones she has always done.

The Wikileaks information indicates that Hillary -- and her predecessor, Condolleeza [sic] Rice -- instructed American diplomats to gather information about "office and organizational titles; names, position titles and other information on business cards; numbers of telephones, cell phones, pagers, and faxes," as well as "Internet and intranet 'handles'; Internet e-mail addresses, website identification-URLs; credit card account numbers; frequent-flier account numbers; work schedules, and other relevant biographical information."

Dick once put his name on a book promoting Condi as the next Republican President, and he can't be bothered to have whoever wrote his column spell her name correctly.

Of course, Dick has to explain why it was peachy for Condoll to datamine the private information of foreign diplomats, but beyond the pale for Secretary of State Clinton to do so. (And he can't just blame it on his impotence.) So he says that "Clinton, not Rice, has run for president and is presumed to continue to be interested in the job." You see, Hillary might use the e-mail addresses and credit card information of foreign diplomats in her 2016 election campaign, whereas Condoll would only use that information for shoe shopping, waterboarding and becoming Commissioner of the NFL.

Dick's whole career is built on Hillary hate; he's been doing it for decades now. So why isn't he any better at it?

Roger's Etymology Corner

This blog will be the homepage for the crusade to have "reckonized" reckonized as a legitimate word.

If the OED doesn't add reckonized to its pages by 2012, I will unfriend it on Facebook.

We're also starting a campaign to have anyone who uses "flustrated" involuntarily sterilized, using implements that are not. (Even if it is in some dictionaries.)

Reliable Sources

The Daily Mail reports:

A increasing amount of woman have apparently requesting information from the TSA, regarding if sanitary products are picked up by the body scanners and by all accounts it does.

How can anyone question the reliability of an article like this?

Thank You (Falletin Me Be Mice Elf Agin)

Without you I'm nothing.

Eh, you get the picture.

Hacky Thanksgiving

The Hack Thirty created by Alex Pareene reads like the freshman class of the Print Media wing of the Media Whores Online Hall of Fame. Although I can't improve on the list, I'd suggest an alternative lineup with some equally loathsome bloviators and a change in ranking for others:

1. Mickey Kaus

2. Howard Kurtz

3. Mark Halperin

4. Richard Cohen

5. Marty Peretz (tie)

5. Maureen Dowd (tie)

6. David S. Broder

7. Charles Krauthammer

8. Jonah Goldberg

9. William J. Bennett

10. Ross Douthat

11. John Fund

12. Thomas Friedman

13. Dick Morris

14. Thomas Sowell

15. Fred Barnes

16. Ben Stein

17. John Podhoretz

18. Michael Gerson

19. Cal Thomas

20. L. Brent Bozell

21. Bill Kristol

22. Peggy Noonan

23. Jon Meacham

24. Megan McArdle

25. Sally Quinn

26. Debra Saunders

27. David Brooks

28. Al Neuharth

29. Andrew Sullivan

30. George F. Will

Honorable mentions go to Pat Buchanan, John Stossel, Kathryn Jean Lopez, Robert Kagan, Rich Lowry, Mort Kondracke, Lanny Davis, Jeff Jacoby, Andrea Peyser and anyone who has written for Reason.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Justice DeLayed, Justice Not Denied Edition

For the sentence Tom DeLay is about to recieve, we thank you.

AUSTIN, Texas — Former U.S. House Majority Leader Tom DeLay — once one of the most powerful and feared Republicans in Congress — was convicted Wednesday on charges he illegally funneled corporate money to Texas candidates in 2002.

Jurors deliberated for 19 hours before returning guilty verdicts against DeLay on charges of money laundering and conspiracy to commit money laundering. He faces up to life in prison on the money laundering charge.

After the verdicts were read, DeLay hugged his daughter, Danielle, and his wife, Christine. His lead attorney, Dick DeGuerin, said they planned to appeal the verdict.

"This is an abuse of power. It's a miscarriage of justice, and I still maintain that I am innocent. The criminalization of politics undermines our very system and I'm very disappointed in the outcome," DeLay told reporters outside the courtroom. He remains free on bond, and his sentencing was tentatively set to begin on Dec. 20.

Climategate!

Reports of fraudulent scholarship on climate science were all true.

An influential [sic] 2006 congressional report [by Edward Wegman of George Mason University] that raised questions about the validity of global warming research was partly based on material copied from textbooks, Wikipedia and the writings of one of the scientists criticized in the report, plagiarism experts say.

Review of the 91-page report by three experts contacted by USA TODAY found repeated instances of passages lifted word for word and what appear to be thinly disguised paraphrases.

The charges of plagiarism don't negate one of the basic premises of the report — that climate scientists used poor statistics in two widely noted papers.

But the allegations come as some in Congress call for more investigations of climate scientists like the one that produced the Wegman report.

"It kind of undermines the credibility of your work criticizing others' integrity when you don't conform to the basic rules of scholarship," Virginia Tech plagiarism expert Skip Garner says.

Weg the Fraud offers a weak as water defense:

"We are not the bad guys and we have never intended that our Congressional testimony was intended to take intellectual credit for any aspect of paleoclimate reconstruction science or for any original research aspect of social network analysis."

Ed, that defense is so shitty it makes Star Wars (SDI) seem plausible in comparison.

John Lott, Jnr. is embarassed for you, dude.

Glenn Greenwald has a very dry sense of humor:

Will Joe Scarborough's multiple GOP donations lead Howie Kurtz to stop saying that MSNBC is a one-party network like Fox is?

After Howie's two-part job interview went so well?

Update (11/21): Mister Kurtz does not disappoint. On Reliable Soreasses this morning, he opined that Scarborough's infractions were not as bad as Olbermann's because Scarborough gave to candidates for state office. One could see the angels dancing on Howie's pinhead as he spoke those words.

What's the difference between the other Roger Ailes and the Hindenburg?

Most. Superfluous. Request. Ever.

Don't touch my junk

By Charles Krauthammer

Howard Kohr Porn

AIPAC claims that Rosen, who was director of foreign policy issues at the lobby and one of its most senior and well-known employees, had engaged in viewing pornography on AIPAC computers at the lobby's Washington offices. Partial transcripts of the lengthy videotaped deposition of Rosen, which were made public as part of AIPAC's motion, show Rosen admitted to surfing pornographic websites from work. But AIPAC's lawyers insisted on more details.

“Q: What type of pornography?
A: Sexual pornography.
Q: What type? Man on man, man on woman?
A: Anything. Anything that occurred to me.”

Rosen also added more details than, perhaps, the attorney for AIPAC had bargained for.

“I witnessed [AIPAC executive director] Howard Kohr viewing pornographic material, [Kohr's secretary] Annette Franzen viewing pornographic material, probably a dozen other members of the staff,” Rosen said in his deposition. He added that, according to a Nielsen survey, more than a quarter of Americans regularly view pornographic websites at their workplace.

Later in his deposition, the former lobbyist also said he had heard from directors at AIPAC about their visits to prostitutes and he claimed executive director Kohr had routinely used "locker room language" at the AIPAC offices.

How big is the Israel lobby? Depends on what they're looking at.

Bonus query: Do a quarter of Americans regularly have access to a computer at their workplace?

Joe Loserman

Weak teabagger Joe Miller enlists a racist scumbag
to fight his losing battle:

Conservative political consultant Floyd Brown, acting as what he called a "volunteer strategist" for Miller, said the campaign had opened a voter fraud hotline to collect reports he said were flowing in to conservative radio talk show programs claiming bullying of voters, threats of job losses and other forms of purported intimidation aimed at garnering votes for Murkowski.

"There have been serious allegations of voter fraud, voter intimidation, voter bullying," Brown told reporters at the large warehouse where counting of write-in ballots, 98% of them for Murkowski so far, was winding up its second day.

"We encourage people who have been bullied themselves, people who have been told they would lose their jobs ... to call and share their story," Brown said. "Let me just say that Joe Miller takes these allegations of fraud and voter intimidation very seriously."

Retroactive voter intimidation. The number to call is 1-800-356-6887, or 1-800-FKN-NUTS.

How bad is Jim "Third Worst Cartoonist Ever" Davis?

(CNN) -- Jim Davis, the creator of the widely-syndicated "Garfield" comic has issued an apology for an ill-timed strip that ran on Veterans Day.

The strip, which appeared in newspapers nationwide Thursday, shows a spider's thoughts as Garfield the cat is about to crush it with a rolled-up newspaper.

"If you squish me, I shall become famous!" reads the thought bubble in the strip's first panel.

"They will hold an annual day of remembrance in my honor, you fat slob," the spider continues, referring to the pudgy orange cat.

The last panel shows the spider dangling above a teacher's desk while he addresses a group of other spiders: "Does anyone here know why we celebrate 'National Stupid Day?'"

Davis called the strip's appearance on Veterans Day "the worst timing ever."

So bad that CNN's writer didn't get the "gag." The spider in the third panel is supposed to be a different spider, one which is referring to the spider from panels one and two as the reason for commemorating "National Stupid Day." But Davis' artist drew both spiders alike. Not that the joke would be better if he had executed it correctly, but still...

Davis says that particular strip was created over a year ago, presumably meaning he recited the idea into a dictaphone or e-mailed it to the people who actually make the strip in 2009. Of course, this means that if Davis dies tomorrow, this dreck will be running until the end of 2011.

The Beast With Three Hacks

Looks like Mickey Kaus and Howard Kurtz soon will be sucking up to the same boss, Tina Brown.

Maybe Tina will get Meghan McCain to edit them both. Couldn't hurt.

A Sincere Defense of American Exceptionalism

Reality TV star Kim Kardashian has her sights set on the world of finance - she's launching her own credit card in a bid to teach teens how to spend sensibly.

The wealthy socialite has lent her name to the Kardashian Prepaid MasterCard, which will let parents give their kids a small amount of credit so they can keep an eye on their finances.

A representative for Mobile Resource, which is launching the card, says, "Teens do not spend their money as their parents think they do. And, drugs are a huge problem in this country. I give my son a small amount of cash and track his spending on his card."

Kardashian will launch the card at a party at Pacha nightspot in New York on Tuesday night.

To be followed by the Lindsay Lohan adjustable-rate mortgage and the Montana Fishburne Capital One Personal Auto Loan.

Reaming Joe

Keith Olbermann:

I did not make them [the campaign donations] through a relative, friend, corporation, PAC, or any other intermediary, and I did not blame them on some kind of convenient ‘mistake’ by their recipients.

Now that's what I call a curb stomping.

The "Doctor" Is Out

Howie Kurtz's Charm City lickspittle, David Zurawik, is crapping himself over this bit of programming information. I'm sure Zurawik will be back online to splutter after he gets finished polishing Howie's toupees.

Favorite Zurawik quote: "Really, in all the seminars I had to take to earn a Ph.D. I never heard one person talk the ridiculous hotdog way O'Donnell and Maddow do on these videos -- and a lot of the folks in those seminar rooms were pretty smart. This isn't about intelligence." Really, it isn't, "Doctor" Zurawik. Really really. Zurawik's post sounds like it was written by an elderly, incontinent Holden Caulfield, but without the benefit of J.D. Salinger's talent.

Update: First link fixed.

Rogertainment Tonight

In showbiz news, Randy Quaid has inked a two-picture deal to star in the Jack Brickhouse biopics, Hey Hey and Back to the Warning Track.

The parts of Vince Lloyd and Lou Boudreau have not been cast.

Journalism At Its Finest

From PoliticHO:

But Alabama state campaign finance records show a $5,000 contribution in April from Scarborough, the former Republican congressman who now co-hosts an eponymous morning show on MSNBC and writes a weekly column for POLITICO, to Alabama state legislative candidate John Merrill, who said the two have been close friends since they attended the University of Alabama together.

That contribution should have been in the name of Scarborough’s wife, Susan Scarborough, according to Scarborough’s co-host on MSNBC’s Morning Joe, Mika Brzezinski, as well as John R. McGregor III, a representative from the Scarborough’s [sic] Pensacola, Fla., bank.

"The Scarborough's [sic] expect John Merrill will amend his campaign report to accurately reflect that reality," said Brzezinski. "If he does not, I will recommend they file an ethics complaint against him."

Brzezinski also challenged Merrill's recollection of having brought Scarborough to Tuscaloosa for an August 2009 fundraiser for the county Republican Party, which Merrill said "was unbelievably successful. We raised a ton of money that we used to help local candidates."

That event was "was billed as a tribute to Gov. Bob Riley on his retirement from politics," said Brzezinski, noting that Riley and Scarborough served together in Congress and asserting, "Any suggestion that Joe Scarborough went to the University event to raise money for a political party is false. Sadly, many politicians try to elevate their standing by exaggerating their connection to Joe. This is one of those cases."

Survey says - Brzezinski lies:

This year the dinner will honor Governor Bob Riley, who has brought positive recognition to the Republican Party and served our state with admiration and distinction. The Tuscaloosa County Republican Party is privileged to have the opportunity to honor a man of his character and integrity. All funds generated by the dinner are used by the Tuscaloosa County Republican Party to strengthen the Republican Party and help elect Republicans at the local, state, and national levels. We are certain The Fourth Annual Lincoln Reagan Dinner will be our most successful year yet.

When Joe was told that a Lincoln Reagan Dinner was a vehicle to raise money for the Republican Party, you could have knocked him over with a lying sack of shit.

Oh, and about that "on his retirement from politics" business?

Bob Riley is the present Governor of Alabama.

But wait, there's more:

But earlier in the day, Merrill, who cruised to an easy win this week, was under a very different impression when he spoke with POLITICO.

"We've been friends for 28 years and we stayed in touch all those years, when he was in Congress and when he got the show," Merrill said of Joe Scarborough. "When I announced, he told me he was going to help me and he wanted me to be successful,” Merrill said, recalling Scarborough's offering to lend his star power to the campaign.

Somebody needs to put an accurate script in front of Brzezinski. Because this making shit up business isn't working any better than Scarborough's hiding behind his wife.

Update (11/6): PoliticHO has corrected its (not it's) punctuation and made other changes to the linked article since this post was published, without noting that such changes were made. It is the practice of this blog to cut-and-paste directly from any source quoted in a post. Roger Ailes always quotes sources accurately, and is not responsible for the shitty writing on other websites.

What do Mickey Kaus and Carly Fiorina have in common?

They're both Republican losers.

Carly still has her hair though.

Welcome to the Era of the Weeping Boehner

Detovi

Don't let my horrific polling place experience stop you from voting.

The Onion elaborates:

Election Day Voting Tip: The new electronic voting machines are complicated, but don't worry. Octogenarians will be on hand to troubleshoot any technological problems you might have.

The Skullfucking Of Irony

Megan McArdle:

why can't spammers write coherently?

We get the opinion leaders we deserve.

Looks like the teabaggers are going to have to haul Ken Gladney out of the basement one more time.

Palin Around With Terrorists

So is Wan Juilliams an idiot or a bigot?

Answer: Both. He's a bigidiot.

Of course, what Wan said is 100 percent is true. He does get really really ascared whenever he sees someone wearing Muslim clothes. Which means he's also a nutcase, and infantile to boot.

There's more than a few folks in this country who are ascared of Wan, given his physical attributes -- and I'm not talking about his diminutive size. In the name of the First Amendment, I demand that NPR give one of those cowards Wan's gig, so that that man or woman may provide us with the benefit of his or her received wisdom.

Update: What James Wolcott said.

Guess We Know Who's Got The Long Dong In That Family

Justice Thomas looks pretty good for a man living on a diet of boiled bunny.

Bitter Hack In Endless Whine

In the middle of another pathetic attempt to get Ann Coulter into the sack, midget Mickey Kaus whines about how the New York Times didn't treat his Kaus Klown Kampaign with enough dignity:

When I ran for Senate recently, the "Sunday Styles" section did a piece on my effort that offered a similarly bogus, dismissive dorm-room theory on my motivations: I was having a "mid-life crisis." And here I thought I was running to oppose amnesty and card check!* But at least the Times' reporter for that piece, Janelle Brown, got her bogus theory out of the mouth of a bullshitting friend of mine.

Yes, it's the Times' fault that they quoted a "friend" of Kaus who didn't take his clowning any more serious than anyone else did. Meanwhile, the second place finisher in the Democratic U.S. Senate primary, who got more than twice the vote Kaus did, got no coverage at all from the Times. Kaus seems to think that the news value of his campaign was something other than "pathetic wanker with a lot of media friends makes an ass out of himself." As they say, sadly, no.

Reason Magazine's Man of the Year

Here's some background on libertarian martyr Johnny Irish:

The affidavit in the case is sealed but the Union Leader was provided with a copy and reported that the state is alleging a "lengthy history of domestic violence," between the couple, including incidents in March and August 2009 where Taylor reported that Irish assaulted her.

In addition, the Union Leader reports that Taylor is still legally married to another man and they had their two children taken from them in February 2009, after an official at Frisbie Memorial Hospital in Rochester spotted signs of abuse. A hearing was held last month to permanently terminate the couple's parental right. The results of that hearing are sealed.

The Union Leader also reported on Friday that Irish was convicted in 2003 of criminal threatening while a student at Winnacunnet High School after telling another student he was going to "create another Columbine."

Irish also underwent numerous court-ordered psychological evaluations and had several probation violations following his 2003 convictions, including possessing weapons, hanging out with criminals, violating curfew and threatening violence, according to the Union Leader.

For some inexplicable reason, the libertarians aren't in the least bit concerned with the two older children, the ones who aren't Irish's seed --either with their abuse or with big gubbamint terminating their parents' parental rights. Seems like your freedom matters to some libbaggers only if you're gun-lovin', state-hatin' criminal.

Perhaps this explains it:

According to an affidavit, a judge determined in 2009 that evidence pointed to Irish as "the main suspect" in an assault of his fiancee's oldest son, now 3. Taylor also has a 2-year-old son and is still married to the boys' father. The children were subsequently placed in a foster home in Farmington, Irish said.

The Social ETWN Network

A very fucking special review of The Social Network:

Justin Timberlake was born in 1981. Sean Parker, whom he portrays, in 1979. Jesse Eisenberg, who plays Zuckerberg, was born in 1983. Zuckerberg in 1984.

Chiara Luce Badano was born just seven years before Zuckerberg in Italy. Sept. 25 of this year, she was beatified. She was an athlete who wanted to be a flight attendant, but after she felt a sharp pain during a tennis game, it was discovered that she had cancer. Her subsequent pain became a service of love to those around her who were inspired by her faith and joy. She is said to have said to her mother: “I’m not asking Jesus to come and get me to bring me to Heaven anymore, because I still want to offer him my pain, to share his cross with him.”

“This is our time,” Timberlake as Parker declares in a now-famous nightclub scene in “The Social Network”. Something about that line struck me, I heard Luke recounting Christ: “This generation is an evil generation; it seeks a sign, but no sign will be given it … she came from the ends of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon, and there is something greater than Solomon here.”

This generation doesn’t have to be lost. So many don’t want to be. They’d love to be inundated with the good. Instead, frequently badly catechized, they get to college and are inundated with something else. And the technology that made Zuckerberg the youngest millionaire [sic] in history can be used in God’s service.

Why won't Jesus respond to my friend request!?!

If only Mark Zuckerberg hadn't been frequently badly catechized, he'd be a cancer-ridden flight attendant for God.

A Shonda For The Human

For those who like their bigotry larded with shtick, I give you the second-most loathsome Levin in wingnuttia:

"I was in the middle of eating a kosher pastrami sandwich,” Rabbi [Yehuda] Levin said. "While I was eating it, they come running and they say, 'Paladino became gay!' I said, 'What?" And then they showed me the statement. I almost choked on the kosher salami."

Insert Ed Koch joke here.

A Target Rich Environment

Just a short notice: Comments are finally coming to the Corner, tomorrow if all goes as planned. As always, we welcome your feedback.

We'll be the judge of that, Rich.

Grand Old Police Blotter Update: To Catch A Fox and Friends Predator Edition

It's beginning to look like Charles Leaf won't be resuming his career as mosque-basher anytime soon.

Leviticus, as Translated by Carl Paladino

Do not lie with a man as you do with your horse, that is an abomination.

Reliably Shitty

Howad Kurtz demonstrates his continued commitment to serious journalism by giving an entire segment of his CNN show to the Salahis, who, of course, are media owners and publishers as well as leading journalists and political figures.

Howie can't be bothered to educate himself about Martin Peretz because his pants are constantly down around his ankles.

Those enjoying R. Greg Mancow's essay, "I'm going to work less to fuck over my kids, but it's all Obama's fault," should enjoy James Fallows' "Wealthy Whiners" series at The Atlantic. The Harvard administrator owes Fallows an apology.

Update: Mancow's already working less -- he's recycling prose from his blog and selling it to the New York Times!

Live Free and Kill Your Child

I love it when the Reasonoids apologize for alleged child abusers on libertarian grounds. Seems they have learned nothing since they got in bed with child-rapist and murderer David Koresh and begged for his not-so-tender mercies.

Here's the 411 on the latest Reason poster children for gubmint tyranny:

According to the affidavit, a judge determined that Irish abused Taylor's two other children. She is still married to the father of those children, though Taylor said yesterday that her husband has refused to accept her divorce petition for the past two years.

The affidavit also says that the police in Rochester report a "lengthy history of domestic violence" between Taylor and Irish, and that she accused him of choking and hitting her on more than one occasion. According to the document, Irish failed to complete a domestic violence course as ordered by the state, and that a hearing was held last month to terminate Taylor's parental rights over her two older children.

Irish denies the allegations, which, according to the authorities, were in part made by the child's own mother. (They would say that!) If it's improper for a state to protect a defenseless child from someone who is accused by the child's own mother of brutality, then there's no fucking reason for any government whatsoever.

Reason assumes without evidence or investigation that the man is a victim of a big gubmint conspiracy, and then whines about being "misled" when some inconvenient truths come out, as if it has the moral obligation to take the anti-government view without knowing any of the facts.

The good news is, Reason has located its next Nick Gillespie:

"The family should be left to resolve it on their own," Biondolillo said. "Or private enterprise - private companies can contact the family and say, 'We heard you were hitting your kids. Can you stop that?'"

Brilliant! And not even the geniuses at Reason thought of that elegant, free-market solution. Surely the infant child could earn enough to buy her own gun in case she fails to persuade in the family's marketplace of ideas. Give Ms. Biondolillo some that Stagliano/Koch money, fast!

And here's some important information that Reason didn't think you (or it) needed to know before claiming victimhood:

Taylor says her two sons were removed from her care in 2009 because of abuse by a caretaker.

...

Child protection matters are confidential. But Lorraine Bartlett with the Division For Children Youth And Families said a child cannot be removed based on a parent's affiliation with an organization.

Damn that nanny state, refusing to admit that it the source of all evil!

Update (10/10): Its Koresh-sense tingling overtime, Reason also sniffed that the FBI brought bomb sniffing dogs "to the protest." In fact,

About the time of the protest, an FBI agent and a state bomb-sniffing dog team did a sweep on the hospital property in response to threats made to the hospital, said Kieran Ramsey, supervisory special agent to FBI officers in New Hampshire.

Ramsey declined to discuss the nature of the threats.

The hospital "felt that at the time the threats warranted some precautionary measures and getting law enforcement involved," he said.

The search of the hospital grounds turned up nothing, said Pamela Puleo, the hospital's vice president for community affairs. Staff were told of the search so as to allay any fears of visitors or patients, she said, and there have been no problems since.

"Things are pretty quiet as compared to (Friday)," Puleo said. "We worked hard to make sure everybody's feeling reassured and safe and calm."

The dry cleaning bills for removal of urine stains at Reason HQ must be astronomical.

Achtung, Alchy

Ann Alchouse, who has never allowed herself to be photographed wearing an Eva Braun costume in public, is outraged at the liberal media for reporting that RepublicBagger House candidate Rich Iott previously pranced around the fields of Ohio in an SS uniform. Alchouse outrage focuses on the fact that Atlantic reporter Joshua Green doesn't place one of Herr Iott's "defenses" -- the claim he has also dressed as an American doughboy and a Union solider -- high enough in his report to suit her tastes.

No, seriously.

Of course, Iott also fails to mention this defense in his own defense. But Ann's willing to call Green out for the dirty Simon Weisenthal reenactor that he is.

You see, Green hasn't done enough digging to find the exculpatory evidence and turn it over to Herr Iott, who is at a decided disadvantage in explaining his own acts. Alchouse wonders aloud, "Who decides, when war reenactments are done, which side somebody plays?" It would be sheer speculation to assume that a millionaire who has his own tailored SS uniform wasn't forced into the Nazi role by, say, a billionaire who called dibs on the role of a Nazi opponent. Surely he picked up his SS kit at the local Life Uniform outlet because the U.S. Paratrooper costume didn't come in 2XL. And if Herr Iott played a Minuteman twice for everytime he dressed as a Nazi, then Alchouse can't fault him for swinging both ways.

Of course, Alchouse can't refute the facts, and doesn't find any factual errors in Green's reporting. As noted, Green publicized a supposed "defense" by Iott that Iott hasn't bothered to publicize on his own website. It's the only way Alchouse would know abut it. Green also prints Iott's other defenses in paragraphs three, four, five, nine, ten and eleven of his article, so he has to be faulted for not prioritizing Iott's excuses according to Alchouse's peculiar tastes.

Alchouse sees lefty bias like some people see a giant pink rabbit -- if it doesn't appear on its own, she knows what to do to make it appear.

(If you're interested in some truly shitty reasoning, Alchouse's heavings are found here. I've "buried" it at the end of this post because you have already stopped reading, you mental defective, you.)

Grand Old Police Blotter: FOX and Friends Edition

MYFOXNY.COM - FOX 5 reporter Charles Leaf has been arrested. Leaf is charged with one count first degree aggravated sexual assault, one count second degree sexual assault and one count second degree endangering the welfare of a child.

Prosecutors say Leaf sexually abused a four year old girl, described as an acquaintance, at his home.

The Bergen County Prosecutor's Office says Leaf was arrested at his Wyckoff, N.J. home Thursday following an investigation by the Sex Crimes and Child Abuse Unit.

The 40-year-old Leaf was taken into custody without incident. He's being held on $250,000 bail in the Bergen County Jail. His arraignment is set for Nov. 4, 2010.

A station spokesperson says FOX 5 management is aware of the matter and is reviewing it.

Though not an employee of Fox News Channel, as noted by Gawker, Mr. Leaf featured prominently in the channel's efforts to peddle the "Ground Zero" mosque controversy to its pinhead viewers. Perhaps someone will ask Gretchen Carlson, Brian Kilmeade and the mentally-challenged weatherman their opinions on the appropriate distance between Ground Zero and an alleged child molestor.

At this time, of course, Mr. Leaf is not guilty of anything besides shitty reporting.

Carl Paladino is refusing to see Secretariat because it doesn't have an NC-17 rating.

Midget Mickey Kaus hates immigrants, but loves the people who hire them:

Even if the story damages Whitman -- and it's a bit hard to see what she did so wrong in a) hiring a maid she thought was legal and b) firing her when she found out she'd been deceived -- ...

Kaus is a true IOKIYARer. Because Meg's a Republican, Kaus can't even comprehend the possibility that her story's pure bullshit. No sane person believes Whitman's efforts to blame her husband -- what married couple wouldn't discuss a notice that a household employee (and a supposed close friend) was an undocumented worker? Kaus probably also believes his career success is due to merit.

The Beast With Two Hacks

Of his new role at The Daily Beast, [Howard] Kurtz said, “I've wanted to work with Tina Brown forever -- well, for a long time -- and I'm incredibly impressed by the energy and creativity of The Daily Beast staff. After a lifetime in newspapers, I'm ready for the challenge of fast-paced online journalism.”

Will the WaPo hire el-Brent Bozell to maintain Howie's high standards?

I guess "swamped starting a new blog" and "learning to post video" were Kurtz's euphemisms for fetching T-Brown's drycleaning.

P.S. to T-Brown: I don't imagine the WaPo will miss Kurtz, but swiping Howie's headshot from the Post might get their lawyers involved.

Actually, the headshots of Kurtz and Brown at the link would make a great "Seperated at Birth." The hairstyles are eerily similar.

The Standards of Howad Kurtz

I missed this whining defense by Howard "Howad" Kurtz of his refusal to inform himself about Marty Peretz' bigotry:

I've been criticized a few million times for things I have written and said. That's fair game.

Now I'm being slammed for something I didn't write or say.

I am, according to Columbia Journalism Review, remaining "silent." (Don't I have that Fifth Amendment right, like you see in the movies?)

My sin is that I have not denounced Marty Peretz. More on that in a moment.

The reason I have not weighed in is--boredom alert--I have been swamped. I cling to the old-fashioned belief that I ought to know what I'm talking about before I pop off. I put a lot of research, and thought, into what I write and say.

In recent weeks I've been swamped with launching and maintaining this real-time blog, including such mundane tasks as learning how to post video. I've also been traveling quite a bit. So I did not believe the world was breathlessly waiting to hear what I had to say about Peretz.

What the owner of the New Republic wrote, in a blog post, was this: "Frankly, Muslim life is cheap, especially for Muslims." And he questioned whether "these people" were worthy of First Amendment protection. I find those to be outrageous and unacceptable statements. You can say that about some Muslim terrorists, and you can criticize some Muslims for failing to speak out against violence, but how do you libel everyone who follows Islam?

...

I guess we live in a culture where everyone, including media critics, is supposed to have an instant response to everything that happens. But I'm going to resist that urge.

Note that Howad thinks it's just peachy to criticize Muslims for not speaking about violence they had nothing to do with -- for their "failure to write or say something" -- but it's beyond the pale to notice that Howad is failing to do his job, which involves pontificating on everyone else’s journalism, including that of the editor-in-chief of the New Republic.

No one can accuse Howad of having a double standard. He has no standards.

Howard's "not my job" defense is particularly pathetic when you compare his coverage of Rick Sanchez' bigotry to his coverage of Marty Peretz' bigotry -- the latter of which was only coverage about how mean everyone is to Howad.

And Howad's claim that he likes to think before speaking is belied not only by his Twatterings but, more significantly, by the fact that Peretz's bigotry has been on display for years and years, while Sanchez only spouted off two days ago. Kurtz had plenty of time to learn about Peretz' vile views if he had any interest in doing so. That being his job and all.

Howad's plea of ignorance as to Peretz' racism may or may not be true. In either case, the follow-up should be, "Then why should anyone give a fuck what Kurtz thinks about anything?"

Kurtz On O'Keefe

Greasy-wigged wingnut Howard Kurtz finally gets around to mentioning the latest capers of Breitbart Slim:

KURTZ: Time now for the "Media Monitor," our weekly look at the hits and errors in the news business.

Here's what I liked.

CNN's Abbie Boudreau, reporting a documentary on conservative activists, tried to arrange an interview with James O'Keefe. He, of course, the guy who dressed up as a pimp to run that undercover sting against ACORN, and then was arrested for infiltrating Senator Mary Landrieu's office.

Boudreau discovered from a woman working with O'Keefe that he was planning a hidden camera sting against her and CNN. The setting? A boat filled with sexual props such as dildos and fuzzy handcuffs.

Apparently this is the first time Howie the Putz has mentioned a dildo outside the presence of Jonah Goldberg.

More substantively: Of course, Howie can't avoid repeating the lie that Breitbart Slim dressed as a pimp while "running" his "sting" of ACORN. O'Keefe dressed as a pimp to promote his smear, not during his encounters with ACORN employees. No matter how hard he tries -- or doesn't -- Howie just can't quit rightwing scripts.

Hip Replacement Needed

In the course of a post calling Jerry Brown an "old coot," temporarily-employed hack Mickey Kaus writes:

Whitman: This person has no sense of humor. Makes George Deukmejian look like George Jessel! Seems annoyed she has to participate in this pointless democratic ritual when she could be in a boardroom with Mitt Romney. (You can see her thinking: "I guess I have to force a smile again.") I imagine the public employee unions might quickly cave to her demands just so they don't have to spend any more time in a room with her. Fails to hang Brown's disastrous appointment of Chief Justice Rose Bird firmly around his neck.

Yes, the most pressing issue of the 2010 Governor's race is Rose Bird, who was voted out of office 24 years ago. Kaus doesn't explain his hard-on for Bird. Perhaps he overheard Rose and Otto in the Supreme Court robing room, commiserating over Otto's shame in having such a worthless kid.

(Otto Kaus was also a Brown appointee; surprisingly, Midget Mick doesn't bash him for that as well.)

And how about that George Jessel zinger? Very relevant. I guess the midget wanted a more topical pop culture comparison than Fanny Brice or Theda Bara.

Roger's 4 Million Dollar Sweepstakes

Roger Ailes, the blog, is scheduled to receive its 4 millionth reader sometime in the next 60 days. To celebrate, and to artificially inflate its traffic, Roger Ailes will award a Grand Prize of one dollar (U.S.) to its four millionth visitor. Winner is responsible for proving that he or she is the four millionth visitor. In the event the four millionth visitor does not claim his or her prize within 30 days, the prize money will be rolled over into Roger's 5 Million Dollar and a Quarter Sweepstakes. Roger Ailes will also pay for postage to mail the prize anywhere in the United States. Void where prohibited.

Shoot. A 'bagger could have a pretty good time in Matt Drudge's crawlspace with all that stuff....

Conservative activist James O'Keefe apparently has been caught pilfering from his employer, Andrew Breitbart. Among the inventory of well-loved goods in O'Keefe's possession:

"condom jar, dildos, posters and paintings of naked women, fuzzy handcuffs" and a blindfold.

DNA testing will be required to determine ownership of the items. Initial reports make no mention of wetsuits or eggs.

Update: Matt Lewis notes the tragic dimensions of this event:

Sadly, O'Keefe's insistence on continuing his weird brand of performance art has probably cost him his chance to be considered the 21st-century version of Paul Weyrich or Phyllis Schlafly.

If, by "cost" you mean "assured," then I concur wholeheartedly.

Update No. 2: O'Keefe is still listed as a contributor to Andrew Breitbart's Big Journalism, although I hear that a spin-off, Andrew Breitbart's Big Dildo, is in the works.

New York Republican gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino has a love child.

Or as he calls her, My Little Pony.

Very Afraid

Howard "the Coward" Kurtz, who gave us saturation coverage of Helen Thomas' downfall, will decide what's media news and what's not:

Howard Kurtz, the media editor of the Washington Post, was among those journalists critical of Thomas, suggesting that she should "go home" to Lebanon and that she is a heroine to Hezbollah. Asked why the mainstream media has largely ignored Peretz's views over the years, Kurtz replied: "I'm afraid I just haven't focused on the subject."

When you spend all your time obsessing over Lindsay Lohan and Tiger Woods and moonlighting as Bob Woodward's p.r. flack, there's not a second to spare reporting substantive media stories that don't fit your right-wing agenda.

When Is A Terrorist Threat A "Gay Slur?"

When the Washington Post performs damage control for Saxby Chambliss.

That Ain't The Way to Have Fun

Someone at the American Broadcasting Corporation gets two thumbs up from Roger Ailes, the blog.

Safety School

For all those who couldn't get into Beck U. because you couldn't get a credit card, higher education is still available to you:

Speculative Scoop

I'm guessing that Doug McKelway is the Daily Choler's Wankerman (this churlish dick). Or at least based on him.

You heard it here first.

p.s. Of course you've never heard of him. He writes for the Daily Choler.

Any Paladino Fucks a Palomino

In an effort to contrast their candidate with disgraced former Governor Elliot Spitzer, the New York Republican Party has nominated an animal enthusiast who will run under the slogan "Whores No; Horses -- Fuck Yeah!"

A Tea Party darling, Paladino reportedly sent an e-mail depicting a horse having sex with a woman and another that included a pornographic video and the headline "Miss France 2008 F[***]ing." He also reportedly sent out an e-mail depicting President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama as a pimp and prostitute and one showing an airplane landing near black men with the caption "Holy Sh*t. run ni**ers, run!"

...

The Buffalo News reports that Paladino did not deny sending the e-mails at an event today. He called them "just another liberal Democrat blog smear."

There was an old man who swallowed a horse.

He's Republican candidate for Governor of New York — of course!

Update: Edited numerous times due to author's incompetency.

The Log Cabin Republicans Are About To Be Sued for Trademark Infringement

The “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy toward gay members of the military is unconstitutional, a federal judge in California ruled Thursday.

Judge Virginia A. Phillips of Federal District Court struck down the rule in an opinion issued late in the day. The policy was signed into law in 1993 as a compromise that would allow gay and lesbian soldiers to serve in the military.

The rule limits the military’s ability to ask about the sexual orientation of service members, and allows homosexuals to serve as long as they do not disclose their orientation and do not engage in homosexual acts.

The plaintiffs, challenged the law under the Fifth and First Amendments to the Constitution, and Judge Phillips agreed.

“The don’t ask, don’t tell act infringes the fundamental rights of United States service members in many ways,” she wrote. “In order to justify the encroachment on these rights, defendants faced the burden at trial of showing the don’t ask, don’t tell act was necessary to significantly further the government’s important interests in military readiness and unit cohesion. Defendants failed to meet that burden.”

...

The suit was brought by the Log Cabin Republicans, a conservative gay organization. The group’s executive director, R. Clarke Cooper, pronounced himself “delighted” with the ruling, which he called “not just a win for Log Cabin Republican service members but all American service members.”

Naturally, B. Arthur Blatt has already enlisted in the military is attacking the ruling. And he'll keep on doing so unless and until Sarah Palin tells him to stand down.

Burn In The U.S.A.

Here's what we do. We get a carton of Bibles without the title on the book cover, stamp 'em "The Koran" in goldleaf on the front, and send 'em down to Reverend Jones and his flock.

Maybe a foreign language version, so they can't tell in case one of  the books is opened accidentally.

Will Jindal Endorse Vitter? Depends.

Jindal flip-flops on his support for prostitute enthusiast David Vitter:

UPDATE: Melissa Sellers, a spokeswoman for Jindal, tells CNN the governor meant to convey he has not weighed in on the race yet, but may do so in the future.

(CNN) - Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal has finally answered a questioned asked of him for months: Will he endorse embattled Republican Sen. David Vitter's reelection bid?

The answer is no.

"Voters can make up their own minds," the Louisiana governor and fellow Republican told local television station WDSU.

Jindal added he doesn't like to get involved in federal races, though the station reports he has backed federal-office seekers in the past.

Ms. Sellers' explanation doesn't hold water. If Piyush had meant to say that he hadn't endorsed anyone yet, he would have said that. Don't piss on my leg and tell me that it's Senator Vitter, Bobby.

An Entire Career, Summarized

Christopher Ryan:

Wonderful as it would be if Ms. McArdle's opinion of our book were to change when/if she gets around to actually reading it, I'm not holding my breath because I don't think she's responding to the substance of the book at all; she's responding to what it makes her feel, which is something entirely different.

Yes. It's a paycheck.

Update: Ann Alchouse throws her morning wood onto Meeegan's bonfire of the inanities.

(Via Fire Meeegan via Sadly, Bonobo!)

How sleazy is Politico's Ben Smith?

Watch this:

A former aide to the McCain campaign got in touch with me this morning to cop to being the half-serious progenitor of a story which, embellished almost beyond recognition, appears in Vanity Fair's portrait today of Sarah Palin as monster.

Reports Vanity Fair:

Soon after her nomination, she brought up with McCain aides the subject of Bristol's out-of-wedlock pregnancy by Levi Johnston: "Would it be good for the campaign if they got married before the election?" she asked, and went on to wonder whether one weekend or another would be more advantageous for media coverage.

This anecdote first popped up in London's Sunday Times, a regular landing point for political anecdotes that the less credulous American press won't print without checking. From that story:

Inside John McCain's campaign the expectation is growing that there will be a popularity boosting pre-election wedding in Alaska between Bristol Palin, 17, and Levi Johnston, 18, her schoolmate and father of her baby. "It would be fantastic," said a McCain insider. "You would have every TV camera there. The entire country would be watching. It would shut down the race for a week."

The fantastic quote — and perhaps the clue that this one hadn't quite risen to the levels of the principals — is the guarantee that Levi would show: "“It’s a shotgun wedding. She kills things,” the source joked.

Smith assumes that Vanity Fair's version is a mistelling -- an embellishment -- of the Times story. (Weigel makes the same bonehead mistake.) But the Vanity Fair story recounts a discussion in which Palin speaks to McCain aides, and the Times article quotes an "insider" speculating to the press, off the record. Smith offers no evidence that Vanity Fair account came from his anonymous source, or that the two articles were referring to the same event.

There's no reason both things couldn't have happened -- Sharia making her statement to McCain campaign staffers while an entirely different staffer (or the same staffer who didn't want to attribute the source of his or her idea) blabbed his or her insipid thoughts to the Times. It's not only possible, it's plausible.

I don't care whether either story is true. The significance of the matter is that it demonstrates that Smith is a Palin fluffer who's willing to make unwarranted assumptions and slime other reporters in support of a fellow right-wing Republican. As far as can be determined from Smith's article, Smith didn't contact Vanity Fair to determine its source(s); he didn't contact Palin; he didn't even confirm that his source was also the Vanity Fair source. He just assumed his ass off. Smith strapped on the half-term Gubernatorial knee-pads and phonied up a bullshit defense.

At Politicho, that's par for the course.

As Seen On A Milk Carton

Could someone in the Los Angeles area please check up on Mickey Kaus? We don't want another Yolanda Schlessinger scenario.

Update: The midget hack has been spotted on Twitter. So he's only Yolanda Schlessinger from the neck down.

The fucking stupidest guy on the face of the earth finds a natural outlet for his abilities.

And the home of a lot of challengers for his title.

Finally someone speaks up for rightwing bloggers.

Elderly Teabagger Snark

When former Alaska governor Sarah Palin mentioned John McCain, Steve Richardson, 72, of Denver shouted, "John who?"

Richardson, who attended last year's 9/12 rally, said, "I just think McCain was a better airman than a politician."

Good one, Granddad!

el-Brent Bozell:

The pressure will only build for more and dirtier musical obscenity, just as almost every aspiring stand-up comedian finds it necessary to pepper his and her act with lots of curse words. Comedians can't just be funny as singers can't just sing.

What could be dirtier? Justin Bieber singing "Brent Bozell is a Syphilitic Cunt"?

I Are The Lord, Thou God

Not only is Beck's God not omniscient, It's illiterate:

Beck, who predicted that at least 100,000 people would show up, opened his comments with a joke: "I have just gotten word from the media that there is over 1,000 people here today."

Moron.

The B. Team

B. "Arthur" Blatt, your Freudian slip is showing:

In leading the War on Terror, W was the real enemies of gay people, those who threaten the lives of our fellows rather than those who attempt to block the state from granting us certain privileges.

Such as when W. threatened the lives of our fellows by blocking the state from granting patriotic men and women the right to serve in the military?

Read the post before Blatt does, changes it, and then denies changing it.

Of course, after he "corrects" it, it will still state that "those who attempt who attempt to block the state from granting us certain privileges" are not "the real enemies of gay people."

Wow. Ken Mehlman's gaydar is even worse than Arianna Huffington's.

A cynic might associate Mehlman's belated self-knowledge with a recent lack of Republican gigs.

I suspect he's more concerned about his secret Muslim identity: "Mehlman recently moved to Chelsea, a gay mecca in New York City."

In From The Back Door

For a Breitbart site it's a relatively small inaccuracy, but rather telling. Over at Big Girl's Blouse, Kristinne Taylor and Andrea Shea King "report" on a protest of an August 21 Jerry Brown fundraiser in Venice:

Also observing the scene was Andrew Breitbart, who was wearing inline skates, as well as prominent blogger Mickey Kaus of Slate, who heard the disturbance from his house across the street. He came out and observed, but did not join the protest.

Sadly, no. Kaus is no longer employed by Slate; the site has even removed Kausfiles from its blogroll.

You'd have thought Kaus' pal, Breitbart, would have corrected the error as soon as he got back from the roller disco and started scanning his sites for mentions of his own name.

Taylor and King may even be mistaken about the Kaus sighting, as Kaus hasn't blogged about the incident at his own moribund website. Surely Kaus' mad reporting skillz would have kicked in if such a momentous event happened so close to home that he wouldn't have to change into a clean sweatsuit to cover it.

Without Kaus' unique take on the event, readers are left with only this word picture from Taylor and King to memorialize the goings on:

Jerry Brown sneaked into the house from the back door while Melanie Morgan threw her body onto the sidewalk shouting, “Code Pink supports terrorists!” When not laying on the sidewalk, Morgan stood outside the back gate, “yelling through a screen at [Evans] while she sipped her white wine as Brown’s security guard watched from inside his SUV with the engine running for two hours.”

I feel sorry for the sidewalk.

(No link to Big Girl's Blouse.)

Fair Trade

Jimena Navarette for Mickey Kaus, Mark Krikorian, Kate O'Beirne and Peter Brimelow.

And Fonthip Watcharatrakul for the entire right-wing blogosphere.

Get A Room, Dan and Don

Just gonna stand there and hear me cry.

Don, that's pathetic even for someone like you. Please document when and where I have been asking you for links? If I hadn't seen your post, I'd have forgotten you existed. Man, that's pretty pathetic, dude. If you were mashed up in some broadly CC'd email I responded to who knows when, I never saw your name. And I know I don't approach you for links. So I guess your paper is cool with having poseurs and bald-faced liars on its paid staff? Shame on you, man. Produce the emails you are apparently referring to. Or, consider yourself called out as a pathetic liar.

That's all right, because I love the way you lie.

I thought better of it and removed it. Why stir things? This happened in minutes. Now Dan Riehl wants to raise a stink. Let him. The fact is he blew up at me in an email last November and then had the gall to send me some stuff to link. If he denies it, so be it. Readers know who he is by what he posts.

Bonus co-dependent comedy from Don: "As reader know, I am an editorial writer and columnist for the Charleston Daily Mail."

More Lies From Reason

How do you know when a libertarian is lying to you? When she uses symbols, orally or in writing, to communicate an idea.

Over at Libertarian Fonzie's diner, Tim Cavanaugh jocksniffs that a Los Angeles Times reporter is kicking sand in the eyes of an elderly bodybuilder:

So it's not Shane Goldmacher's opinion, just straight news, that the lame-duck governor of California is sending a "gubernatorial ransom note" and "holding the state hostage" in his budget negotiations, thus repeating a "shameful chapter in California's history" and alienating cooperative Democrats with his "ultimatums." It is furthermore objectively true that Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing this not just from an honest desire to fix Sacramento's chronic budgeting problems but out of personal pique, that he is trying to retrofit a "fiscal system that has bedeviled California -- and him -- for years."

So what does the article actually say:

Some have likened his wish list to a gubernatorial ransom note, being used to polish his tarnished fiscal legacy.

"This is a governor that holds the state hostage," said Assemblywoman Noreen Evans (D-Santa Rosa). "How irresponsible is that?"

The effects of the budget impasse are cascading across California.

State worker furloughs resumed Friday, forcing Department of Motor Vehicles branches to reschedule more than 15,600 appointments so they could close that day and again next Friday. An emergency fund to pay health clinics that serve the poor has run dry; the final payments go out Monday.

And state Controller John Chiang has warned that IOUs could be as little as two weeks away, repeating last year's "shameful chapter of California history."

Schwarzenegger says his final budget is a last chance to fix the state.

"I have two choices as governor, especially since this is my last year," Schwarzenegger told a group of Bay Area business leaders this month. "Do I want to go and just make everyone happy and … go along with them, or do I want to go and, you know, wage this battle?"

Two of the five quotes that Cavanaugh characterizes as the reporter's opinion are actually quotes from Arnie's critics, and they are clearly labelled as such. A third is the reporter's accurate characterization of the opponents' position. The fourth is an accurate characterization of Arnie's position, and the fifth isn't critical of Arnie. Arnie himself is quoted at least four times in the piece, and another Republican is quoted as well. Nothing in the article suggests Arnie's mindset or motives for his actions (except to quote Arnie's claim that his motivations were not personal). Cavanaugh identifies nothing in the article which is false.

With dishonesty like this, Cavanaugh could take his droolbucket over to NewsBusters and make a decent living. I can't imagine that Reason could make a competitive counteroffer, no matter how popular racist pornographic DVDs are.

Now This Is Ironic

Moldo: Even More Ignorant Than Usual

The elderly op-ed embarassment has gone from pushing igornant opinions to displaying more prominently her ignorance of the facts.

Let me be perfectly clear, Mr. Perfectly Unclear President: You cannot take such a stand on a matter of first principle and then take it back the next morning when, lo and behold, Harry Reid goes craven and the Republicans attack. What is so frightening about Fox News?

Leaving aside the issue of whether Obama took back his original statement (the answer is no), Moldo fucks up the timeline like it's Leon Wieseltier's septum:

August 16, 2010

President Obama's staunchest ally in the Senate broke with the president today over the controversial Islamic center planned for a site near Ground Zero, and said he is opposed to its construction.

The office of Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada issued a statement saying, "The First Amendment protects freedom of religion. Senator Reid respects that, but thinks that the mosque should be built some place else."

Reid's comments came just days after Obama told a White House gathering that Muslims had a right to build the mosque, and Republicans vowed to make the president's stand an issue in the November elections.

...

The president's statement on Friday that Muslims have a right to build an Islamic center two blocks from the site of the World Trade Center attack immediately prompted outraged reactions. The next day, Obama appeared to soften his stance by saying that he questioned the wisdom of the building the center so close to Ground Zero.

Moldo surely is no stranger to the concept of the lost weekend, but voluntary incapacity doesn't entitle one to her own facts. The New York Times badly needs to rehabilitate its opinion pages, even if they have to hire Dr. Drew Pinsky as an editor.

Later in her column, Moldo refers to Mayor Mike as a Republican. Perhaps her blackout began in 2007.

...except for Marty Peretz. Him, they couldn't give away.

Crazy Cat Lady Video

Campbell's Thick and Chunky

Ross Douchehat says:

The interplay of fertility, reproductive impulses and gender differences in heterosexual relationships is, for want of a better word, “thick.”

Heterosexual relationships are like Chunky Reese Witherspoon's ass. So thick you can eat them with a fork.

The "better" word that Douchehat wants to use is phallocentric -- as in this marriage is only big enough for one cock, and I'm the Dick.

But, really, who gives a fuck what Douchehat thinks? His wife surely didn't buy Ross's definition of thick -- given all the evidence to the contrary -- and neither will anyone else.

My beef here is with Ezra Klein's characterization of Douchehat:

And Ross Douthat, as humane and thoughtful a supporter of traditional marriage as you'll find....

If, by humble and thoughtful, you mean pompous and illogical.... The idea that Douthat's opposition to marriage equality is "support of traditional marriage" is laughable. The point is so obvious that it hardly needs repeating -- thoughtful supporters of heterosexual marriage can, and by definition do, support the rights of gay men and lesbians.

I'm agnostic on marriage, but I'm a holy roller on discrimination.

P.S. Yes, World-O-Crap was there first.

Zero At The Bonehead

Meegan McArdle does battle with the strawpersons inside her otherwise vacant skull:

I am hoping that at least one person will attempt to explain why we should support the mosque near Ground Zero, but not the gay bar next to the mosque near Ground Zero.

This from someone who desecrates "Ground Zero" by putting it on her resume. Sorry, Meegan, but no one wants to play in your delusional hollow head.

Marty Peretz is right. The Ground Zero mosque controversy is not about freedom of religion. Peretz is not arguing that Muslims should not be allowed to build a mosque in New York City, only that they not be allowed to build a mosque in locations where the structure might cause anger or grief to Christians or Jews. Certainly that is not too much to ask. Peretz recognizes the need to protect Muslims from the “dark places” of distraught Christians and Jews. Ideally, Muslims could live in special areas of our cities where they could freely assemble and worship together, thus avoiding any First Amendment concerns. These places could be identified by high ceremonial walls, with towering wide gates symbolizing the openness of Western culture. Of course, Muslims would remain free to visit any parts of the city they choose, within reason. And to avoid misunderstanding and conflict, the Muslims can keep the Christians and Jews locked out of their enclaves during Ramadan, and themselves safely locked inside during Christmas and Passover.

What do you have against compromise?