Snowblower

How does Tony Snow keep his lying mug off of C-SPAN? He eliminates the cameras.

In Howie the Putz's second, aptly-titled Snowblower in three weeks, Snow floats a trial ballon:

Some print reporters want the cameras out, saying the briefings have degenerated into high-decibel theater in the decade since the Clinton White House turned the sessions into a television show. But the networks like the ready availability of sound bites and many people have grown accustomed to watching the briefings on cable or, more recently, on the Internet.

"I'm agnostic on it," Snow says. He will discuss the issue with White House correspondents, and "if it's better with the cameras off, we'll probably do it. My guess is that you're not going to eliminate them entirely."

And the Putz doesn't disappoint: The Clinton Administration's decision to make press briefings more accessible to the public becomes "turn[ing] the sessions into a television show." Funny, my television doesn't get the Clinton Channel.

Heads Up

I've posted a review of the Sunday head shows over at firedoglake. Not an auspicious start; I've got to work out a lot of the kinks. 2 out of 10.

Thanks again to Jane for the venue.

A Serious Post

A year ago, I had a bit of fun at the expense of Dick Dasen Snr., a wealthy Montana businessman who spent millions to have sex with various poor/drug addicted women in Kalispell, MT. over a period of years. In 2003, Mr. Dasen's activities intersected with a murder when his DNA was found on a bedspread at a local Motel 6 where a 26-year-old woman, Darlene Wilcock, was found strangled. By all reports that I've seen, including this one, local law enforcement says that Dasen had nothing to do with the murder; he had just been a former occupant of the room where Ms. Wilcock was killed. (However, it was alleged that Dasen referenced Ms. Wilcock's death as a means to intimidate his own victims.)

It's been more than three years since Darlene Wilcock was murdered, and her killer or killers have not been found. There's some suggestion that police identified a suspect, but have don't have enough information for an arrest.

Ms. Wilcock's aunts have created a webpage at which they've posted a request for e-mails or other assistance from anyone who might know anything about the murder:

The family has put up fliers as they work to solve the murder. They've also written letters to "America's Most Wanted" about Darlene's case. But so far no interest has been shown from the show. There's also been little interest from the public on the Web site the family set up for Darlene in her memory and hoping that someone would read it and leave a tip on it. "Don't be afraid. IF IT HAS TO BE ANONYMOUS, it can be. Just anything, if you know something and aren't saying , just say it," said Darlene's mom, Marla Friske.

Now police are still taking tips on this case. If you have any information, call the Kalispell Police Department or go to NBCMontana.com news and click on the Wilcock Murder Fast Link. That will connect you with the family's website and you can leave a message there.

(Note: The NBC link is gone.)

Given this site's small readership, it seems doubtful anyone reading this will have any information. I'm posting this because I can't imagine the pain caused by the unresolved loss of a beloved family member. I hope that Ms. Wilcock's family will find answers to their questions and whatever justice is possible in an unjust world.

The Death of Irony

As National Taxpayers Union President Dr. John E. Berthoud told The Examiner, "You can't tax like Reagan while spending like Dean."

And the editorial's entitled "Conservatives Won't Be Fooled Again."

The Doctor Is An Idiot

This morning, I found myself in the uncomfortable position of partially agreeing with a Charles Quackhammer column. Like the bad doctor, I am not opposed to the death penalty in all cases (such as in the McVeigh and Eichmann cases cited by Dr. Q). I agree Moussaui should not be executed because he had nothing to do with 9/11. (Although, no, I don't want to live in the universe, with or without capital punishment, where Krauthammer's "moral order" is acheieved.)

But then Quacky redeems himself by concluding with this mentally disturbed remark:

Civilian court -- with civilian procedures, civilian juries and civilian sensibilities -- is not the place for those who make war upon us.

Of course, if we determine whether someone is making war on us before assigning him or her to a court, then we've reached a verdict before (or by) selecting the court. How exactly would this work? Would McVeigh, who brought down a federal building (and who many nuts believe had some connection to terrorists) get a military trial? Would Hinckley, who shot a president, get one because his crime might be a terrorist act? Does Krauthammer have a more sophisticated test for venue selection than standing the accused next to a paint chart? Maybe we waterboard the defendant and if he survives we give him a military trial.

And, no, Quackhammer, you don't have to worry about a twinkie defense for Khalid Shaikh Mohammed. Thanks to your pals in the Bush Administration, his life has been spared.

Bugsly Bugs Out

Perhaps they di'n't teach Lee "Bugsly" Siegel fact-checking at Dissent, The Nation and Radical History Review. Or maybe The New Republic has rehired Ruth Shalit under an assumed name.

Here's some "honest, non-fiction, fact-filled, truth-telling" from Bugs himself:

Another year, Don Imus was so insulting to Clinton that--this was before C-SPAN started broadcasting the dinners--the Clinton administration had to ask that the transcript not be released to the press.

Excuse me:

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- The head of a journalists' association has apologized to President and Mrs. Clinton for off-color remarks made about them at a "roasting" but rejected their request that a tape of the dinner not be shown on C-SPAN.

President Clinton and Hillary Rodham Clinton were guests of honor Thursday's at the Radio and Television Correspondents Association annual banquet. At the dinner, radio talk show host Don Imus made remarks about the first couple that the White House deemed tasteless.

Among other things, Imus called Clinton a "pot smoking weasel," joked about his alleged extramarital affairs and tweaked Mrs. Clinton about her financial troubles.

White House Press Secretary Mike McCurry, who also sat at the head table with the Clintons, said, "a large part of the entertainment, if that's what you call it ... was fairly tasteless." McCurry told C-SPAN that Imus's remarks were "beyond the pale" and asked the network to cancel plans to rebroadcast the dinner program Saturday.

Terry Murphy, chairman of the Radio and Television Correspondents Association and vice president of C-SPAN, sent Clinton a letter saying, "We regret putting you and the first lady in a position of having to endure embarrassment."

C-SPAN, however, declined to change plans to replay the program Saturday at 9 p.m. and midnight.

The cable network issues a statement Friday which said: "C-SPAN stands by its long-announced schedule to re-air the dinner on Saturday night, so that the general public can see what this fuss is all about."

Dumbass.

Oh, and Bugsy, I don't want your job or any "MSM" job. I hear TNR pay sucks (and I won't take blow in lieu of cash), and Bitter Has-Been doesn't add that much to a resume.

p.s. to Bugsly -- Imus appeared at a Radio and Television Correspondents' Dinner, not a White House Correspondents' Dinner.

You could look it up.

Thrive? Not so much.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Noe Pioneers! Edition

The Abramoff and Scanlon plea deals may be having an instructive effect -- inspiring other Republicans to finger their copartisans in exchange for less prison time. Bush Pioneer Tom Noe is willing to make a deal in order to see less time behind jail door No. 2:

Indicted coin dealer Thomas W. Noe wants to change his not-guilty pleas to federal campaign-finance charges to resolve the case, according to a court filing yesterday.

A Noe attorney and a federal prosecutor filed a joint request for a hearing "as soon as possible" to change Noe's plea to three charges that he illegally funneled $45,400 to President Bush's re-election campaign.

U.S. Attorney Greg White in Cleveland declined to comment, and Noe's attorneys could not be reached last night. But the filing suggests that Noe has agreed to accept responsibility and possibly cooperate in exchange for a reduced sentence.

Of course, Noe's guilt is so certain that prosecutors shouldn't consider a deal unless Noe starts giving up national and state Republicans who aren't even currently on their radar. If a deal is offered, sentencing should be deferred until the case against the last Republican is ironclad. You can't trust these remorseless bastards.

Remedial Writing

One thing overlooked about Howie Kurtz is his poor writing. His columns often are ungrammatical and unnecessarily wordy. They read as if he's dictating them (in his annoying sing-song voice) rather than typing them.

Today, HTP writes:

I will confess that the worst part about some attacking e-mails is not the "you are an idiot" genre, but the ones that assume you have an agenda, a sack full of ulterior motives and you're in bed with fill-in-the-blank.

With the help of an editor, we would get:

The worst attack e-mails are not those in the "you are an idiot" genre, but those that identify my agenda and mention Sheri Annis.

Another Cheney Hater

Will the civility-obsessed in the press corps and blogosphere set down their teacups, disengage their pinkies, and leap to their keyboards to cluck their disapproval of vulgarian fraud, Mary Cheney?

I look forward to their corrective epistles with all the sincere anticipation I can fake.

And a big "go fuck yourself" to America Online. I almost wish I was a subscriber so I could cancel my subscription.

Corner O' Crap

James Wolcott puts the ant-like intellects of NRO's Corner under the magnifying glass and waits for the clouds to part. Here's a couple of my favorites which didn't make the Wolcott cut. (No links, they were both posted today)

First, here's the Boy of Dough on the Man of Steel:

Superman! [Jonah Goldberg]

From a reader:

Please explain to me why brian singer must ruin every major comic book movie adaption, what x-men wasn't enough? Superman comes back and Lois Lane has another man's baby?!?!?! Have you seen the latest trailer ? Its like he is trying to piss off the core group of every comic book's fan base. I predict a flop (or rather a not particular notable success-$100M), its typically the core fans and families that make a movie a blockbuster, people whose kids demand to see it several times or the hard-core fans who see several times, well unless this is superman's kid and its handled very well, this movie is dead before it arrives. I saw the trailer and instead of cool special effects making me go I must see this, I could get beyond how f-ing annoyed I was with lois lan has another man's kid part.

Me: Personally, I think the trailer looks pretty good, and I'm more forgiving of the deviations from orthodoxy in the X-Men movies. The potentional for controversy over Lois's single mom status, however, could be interesting in that Lois Lane was once iconic as the American career woman. It might be an intriguing bit of social commentary that they made her unable or unwilling to keep the father around. As for whether it was smart commercially or advisable "artistically" who knows? I'm still going to see it.

Clearly Jonah's the go-to guy whenever a female comic book character steps out of line and displays some sexual autonomy. But I'm surprised there was no follow up by Kate O'Beirne condemning Lois Lane as an America-destroying slut.

Meanwhile, Rush Limbaugh Drag King K-Lo plugs some sort of anti-choice fun fair to be held in darkest Manhattan:

Party for Life [Kathryn Jean Lopez]

Congrats to the good people at the Midtown Pregnancy Support Center, who are celebrating their ten-year anniversary this Saturday night in Manhattan. Tickets aren't cheap but support important work and it promises to be a fun night -- good food, company, and music. Consider if you can and are so inclined. Invite can be seen here, tickets can be ordered here.

Full disclosure: They're also "honoring" yours truly there -- which I'd shy away from if I didn't consider it a mandate to spend Saturday night plugging you know what.

No, not that. Pornmumu's book.

That's the another thing about the Cornerdomites. They're always either plugging something, begging for something or blabbing about how someone sent them something. You could spend all day on Mission Street, in front of an actual mission, and not run across as many aggressive panhandlers (or such unpleasant ones). There's no other blog, right, left or center, where the participants so tirelessly yammer about crap they're trying to sell you.

Shame

That's the only possible explanation for NBC's failure to post today's Meet the Press transcript.

And you thought James Guckert was unconvincing as a straight man.

Nevertheless, Pumpkinhead's marching orders were received and executed to the letter.

Update (5/9): I agree with the Good Kaus about Rep. Pelosi's performance. If you're going to appear with Pumpkinhead, you need to know his bag of tricks and prepare accordingly. (Which is not to say I could do better, but I'm not trying to become Speaker of the House.) Second Update: And with the Good Somerby too.

Roger Recommends

The Dead End Kommandos

America's Back 40

The outdoors (available wherever doors open)

Shorter Caitlin Flanagan

"When they pistol-whipped Elizabeth Edwards on the floor of the 2004 Convention, that was the last straw for me."

(stolen from my comment at Eschaton; gotta go... time for wound care for my stigmata)

An American Tragedy

Can Xtreme Viagra be far behind?

Mourning Wood

In support of Michelle Malkin's latest crusade to rehabilitate the Confederacy, I suggest we circulate a petition in Malkin's honor seeking to have Leonard Wood's birthday (October 9) declared a national holiday.

After all, Wood heroically eliminated more Islamojihadofascists than any other American. What's not to love?

Grand Old Police Blotter: The Foggo Whore Edition

From the Wall Street Journal:

The agency also has been drawn into a federal investigation of bribery that has sent former Rep. Randall "Duke" Cunningham to prison. Just this past week, the CIA confirmed that its third-ranking official, a hand-picked appointee of Mr. Goss, had attended poker games at a hospitality suite set up by a defense contractor implicated in the bribing of former Rep. Cunningham. Friday, people with knowledge of the continuing Cunningham inquiry said the CIA official, Kyle "Dusty" Foggo, is under federal criminal investigation in connection with awarding agency contracts.

...

Mr. Foggo has been a close friend since junior high school with Poway, Calif., defense contractor Brent R. Wilkes. The criminal investigation centers on whether Mr. Foggo used his postings at the CIA to improperly steer contracts to Mr. Wilkes's companies.

Mr. Wilkes earlier this year was implicated in the charges filed against Mr. Cunningham, as an unindicted co-conspirator who allegedly had paid about $630,000 in bribes to Mr. Cunningham for help in obtaining federal contracts.

No charges have been filed against Mr. Wilkes, although federal prosecutors in San Diego are working to build a case against him, as well as Mr. Foggo, people with knowledge of the investigation said.

The FBI and federal prosecutors also are investigating evidence that Mr. Wilkes had given gifts to Mr. Foggo and paid for various services for him while Mr. Foggo was in a position to help him gain particular CIA contracts.

CIA spokesman Paul Gimigliano said Mr. Foggo "denies any improper gifts from Brent Wilkes."

The proper gifts from Brent Wilkes were just fabulous, however.

And how proper "those services" were.

The Party of Death

John Derbyshite pulls his thumb out of his Ann Coulter doll long enough to type this:

Speaking of Books ...

Would anyone care to open a book on any of the following:?

-- Appearance of the first FREE MOUSSAOUI! placards, T-shirst, baseball caps, etc.

-- Moussaoui's first lawsuit.

-- Moussaoui's first book contract.

"T-shirst." That's a real sidesplitter, you four-eyed racist git. I wonder where you came up with that idea?

Party of death indeed.

Roger's News Break

A weeping Patrick Kennedy (D-U.I.) announced this afternoon that he was seeking treatment for addiction. In a brief statement to reporters, Kennedy said, "My God, I'm no better than Rush Limbaugh, except that I didn't buy my pills illegally, from my maid. Does anyone have Roy Black's number? No? How about Nan Talese's?"

In response, former U.S. Representative Bill Janklow (R-SD) and First Lady Laura Bush issued a joint press release condemning reckless driving.

In other news, Dick Morris celebrated in anticipation of increased face time as the Fox News Channel's Senior Prostitution Analyst.

This Roger News Break was brought to you by Atree, the maker of Aleve.

Leaving To Do More Time With Duke Cunningham

Shouldn't someone with a five year plan stick around for more than a year?

CIA Director Porter Goss resigned unexpectedly Friday, leaving behind a spy agency still battling to recover from the scars of intelligence failures before America's worst terrorist attack and faulty information that formed the U.S. rationale for invading Iraq.

It was the latest move in a second-term shake-up of President Bush's team.

Making the announcement from the Oval Office, Bush called Goss' tenure one of transition.

"He has led ably," Bush said, Goss at his side. "He has a five-year plan to increase the analysts and operatives."

Bush also announced that Goss will be replaced by the Target security guard who caught Claude Allen shoplifting.

The Opposite of Cyber Sex

The New York Times has an article taking the piss out of Midget Mick and his hardcore video chat site. (The first hint is in the title.)

The author, Ginia Bellafante, caught Kaus and a cohort exchanging video views on the topic Ann Coulter: Hot or Nuts? Kaus took the Nut's side of the debate:

As it turned out, Mr. Kaus was reluctant to demonize Ms. Coulter, rejecting Mr. Wright's claim that any anatomization of her thinking would logically conclude that she was either (1) "dishonest" or (2) "stupid." Instead Mr. Kaus offered the counter-theory that she was a more or less sensible person whose zealotry often drove her to exaggerate.

Yes, a sensible untruthful zealot. Sounds familiar.

After noting that Mr. Kaus had been seen in Ms. Coulter's company, [Robert Wright] went on to intimate that maybe, possibly, Mr. Kaus thought she was pretty, that perhaps he had a crush.

That's out of line. Kaus is a one-Lucianne bigot lover.

Getting bored, the author decides to slap Kaus's head around a bit:

One of the many pleasures of bloggingheads.tv is watching two skilled rhetoricians who rarely let loose the clamps on their assiduously framed arguments. Were Mr. Wright and Mr. Kaus ever to conduct a debate about shampoo -- Prell, say, versus Herbal Essence -- they would apply the same legalistic reasoning they bring to discussions about Karl Rove or China.

In Kaus's case, it's also as theoretical a debate as one about sex.

But she doesn't stop there.

As it happens, some bloggers you want to see and some you don't. This is not to suggest that some look like George Clooney, while others have faces meant, well, for blogging.

But she'll suggest it anyway.

Mr. Wright is a liberal; Mr. Kaus a liberal undone by all that's wrong with contemporary liberalism.

Undone, unhinged, unlovely and uninteresting.

[Kaus] surmised that if we accepted the claim that homosexuality was genetically determined, why then couldn't we imagine that there might be a gene activating an aversion to homosexuality?

Sure. And another one to explain the universal aversion to Kaus.

Mr. Wright and Mr. Kaus talk to each other from their home offices, and to Mr. Kaus I would say: Your bookcase looks like it's about to fall over, and I am worried.

Huh? Clearly the bookcase is too far away to do ... Oh.

Never mind.

(Thanks to a reader for the link.)

More On B.S.

Bob Somerby continues on his detour from "speaking truth to power" (the Millionaire Pundit Class) in order to speak truth to the e-mail correspondents and commenters of progressive blogs. This time, Somerby joins in battle a commenter at Eschaton who suspected Richard Cohen of laughing at Don Imus's '96 address to the Radio and Television Correspondents' Dinner. Somerby accesses Lexis/Nexis and retrieves a "real time" column in which Cohen labeled as "boorish behavior" Imus's insinuations of infidelity in the presence of President and Mrs. Clinton. (Although, from the excerpt quoted by Somerby, it seems Cohen's prime beef against Imus was the latter's references to fornication, urination and menstruation on a radio program accessible by the children.)

I'm in complete agreement with Somerby that Cohen didn't find Imus's performance funny. But I'd venture a guess that the real reason for Cohen's displeasure was this particular quip:

"By the way, and this is really awful, if you're Peter Jennings and you're telling more Americans than anyone else what's going on in the world, shouldn't you at least have had a clue that your wife was over at Richard Cohen's house? (laughter, groans, boos) She wasn't at my house!"

Granted, King of Comedy Cohen wasn't exactly the butt of that zinger, but he probably didn't appreciate Imus drawing attention to that allegation before a ballroom full of his neighbors and a national cable audience.

Oh, and more than four months after the dinner isn't a "real time" response; it's a "hopefully, with the passage of time, most people will have forgotten that adultery crack about me and therefore no one will repeat it" response.

Far be it from me to tell anyone how to run his website, but sober reflection might help Bob to recognize that blog comments aren't biggest threat to civilization at this moment, and reassess his priorities accordingly.

Shorter Dick Cohen

"Do I know jokes? Hell, I am one."

Shorter Peggy Noonan

"Fuck John Paul the Great and the horse he rode in on."

My Suggestion, The Steely Daniels, Was Surprisingly Rejected

In a bit of a wacky cross-promotion (!) a minor league arena football franchise is renaming its team after a Biblical character who banged a Philistine hottie, got shaved by said hottie, lost all his strength and then killed himself. Fun for the entire family.

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. - For the first time in sports history, a professional franchise will wear Bible-themed jerseys during a game. On Friday, May 5th, the Birmingham Steeldogs arena football team, which plays in the arenafootball2 league (www.af2.com), will don jerseys with the name of Bible hero "SAMSON" embroidered on the front as they take on the Louisville Fire at the Birmingham-Jefferson Convention Complex. Specific Bible chapter and verse references will be created by combining the names and numerals on the backs of each player.

The jerseys have been produced to replicate the Steeldogs regular game jerseys. "Samson" replaces "Steeldogs" across the chest, in reference to the Old Testament hero renowned for his incredible strength. On the back of the jerseys, instead of having the player's last name, it will be replaced by a book of the Bible. The number on the jersey will correspond to a chapter and verse of that particular book.

For example, Steeldogs quarterback Ryan Hawk wears jersey number 12. On May 5, he'll still wear number 12, but the name on his back will change from "HAWK" to "JAMES", referencing the book of James, Chapter 1 Verse 2. The Bible-themed Steeldogs jerseys are the latest creations of Christian Throwback Jersey Company (www.christianthrowbackjerseys. com) of Birmingham.

The idea to wear the Christian jerseys during the game and auction them off with proceeds going to local non-profit ministries developed through a collaborative effort between Steeldogs Managing Partner Scott Myers and Brent High, President of Third Coast Sports.

...

The promotion is part of the first of three Barber's Dairy Faith Nights with the Steeldogs. Christian recording artists Audio Adrenaline will perform in a pre-game concert. Free Bibles will be handed out courtesy of Spiritual Outdoor Adventures (www.teamsoa.org). The Bibles will come in handy as those in attendance search to find the Bible references on the jerseys of each Birmingham player.

In 2004 High came up with the idea of giving away camouflaged Bibles and bobble head dolls of Biblical figures Moses, Samson and Noah as part of Faith Nights with the Nashville Sounds.

What, no John the Baptist bobblehead?

One can only hope that Louisville Fire renames its pleather-clad Wildfire "dance team" the Delilahs and equips each member with a six-pack and a FlowBee two hours before the kickoff.

(Thanks to a reader for the link)

I would never even contemplate dissing the incomparable and accomplished Jane Hamsher, but please don't stop sending the fruit baskets, Jane. They're doing wonders for my scurvy and rickets.

The Verdict

So Zacarias Moussaoui, a loathsome man who likely would have participated in the 9/11 attacks but didn't have much, if anything, to do with them, but claimed he did, will be in prison for the rest of his life. And he won't be executed either.

Watch the wingnutosphere for demands for jury reform, eludications of the President's Constitutional power to summarily execute criminal defendants regardless of judicial advisory opinions, Palovian droolings of the word dhimmitude and the home addresses and phone numbers of the jurors.

Never Again

Bob Somerby's analytical skills are often at their lowest ebb whenever he tries to play Bismark, The Honest Broker, and takes on the perceived perfidy of the liberal blogosphere. In addressing the Colbert appearance at the White House Press Cwhore dinner, Somerby quotes a reader e-mail posted at an (unnamed) liberal blog which compared the relative lack of press coverage of Colbert to the greater coverage of Don Imus' remarks at the 1996 Radio and Television Correspondents' Dinner. Somerby bravely advises the losers and rubes (that might be you) that the latter was a news story because "the press corps" "felt" Imus was rude to Clinton, citing the fact that "[t]he committee that organized the event has issued a formal apology to the president."

Leaving aside Somerby's conflation of the dinner's organizing committee with "the press corps," and of the issuance of an apology with sincere feeling, there's certainly no dearth of whiners who think Colbert was rude to Bush. (Including perhaps Somerby, who calls Colbert's material "inaapropriate" and thinks Colbert acted in bad faith because he signed a contract -- a contract, dammit! -- to do only funny and appropriate material.) More fundamentally, Somerby doesn't quote "the press corps" stating that they don't think Colbert was rude to Bush. Accordingly, Somerby doesn't make the case he claims to make: that the difference in coverage was due to "the press corps"' differing evaluations of the rudeness of the respective performances.

You become more and more like the others, Bob. Not we.

But the main point of this post is Somerby's quotation of this contemporaneous account of the '96 dinner:

"ABC's Cokie Roberts says she will never -- repeat, never -- be a guest on the Imus radio show again."

Of course, never is a long time when you've got a column to peddle. And no one actually expects you to follow through with a declaration of principle anyway.

But I'd guess what really got Cokie's peeve on ten years ago wasn't the Clinton Astroturf gags, but rather this direct hit:

"My favorite moment on World News Tonight was when Peter threw it to Cokie Roberts who we were told was standing outside the Capitol building, remember that when they chromo-keyed Cokie outside the Capitol."

There's nothing as funny as the truth.

And now Cokie can "never" appear on The Daily Show, as they stole one of her best bits.

Survey Says

A recent survey of Roger Ailes readers indicates that at least 98 percent of them are breathtakingly attractive, intellectually gifted, humble, sexually gifted, affluent, give generously to progessive politicians and causes and buy copious amounts of high-end electronics, books and novelty t-shirts and mugs. And are incapable of deception.

The other 2 percent come here after Googling "Roger Ailes" or "Jay Severin."

Internet marketers are tearing their hair transplants out over their inability to purchase advertising space on this blog.

Oh, and it was a scientific survey, too.

Roses For Peretz

A couple of years ago or so, I good-naturedly ribbed Kevin Drum for characterizing comparing ESPN's deletion of Greg Easterbrook's columns from its website to Stalin's deletion of fallen-from-favor party functionaries from Soviet texts. I pointed out that Stalin also expunged those individuals (and millions more) from the ranks of the living, while the Disney Corporation graciously spared Easterbrook's life. You could look it up (I tried, but I couldn't find it).

Anyway, over at The $9.97 Republic, and more specifically, on The Wank blog, crackpot Kremlinologist Gnome Scheiber tops that insipid analogy by a factor of four:

Various aggrieved bloggers have suggested the audience wasn't laughing because Colbert was too tough on the president and the press corps. I dunno.... I was sitting about ten feet from Ed Helms, Colbert's former "Daily Show" colleague, and kept glancing over to check his reaction. He cracked some smiles here and there. But I never saw him doubled over with laughter, not even close. My sense is that the blogosphere response is more evidence of a new Stalinist aesthetic on the left -- until recently more common on the right -- wherein the political content of a performance or work of art is actually more important than its entertainment value.

Don't tell anyone, 'cause it's still in the planning stage, but the next big netroots project is to install a 30-foot-tall bronze statute of Comrade Colbert in the town square of every occupied Red State. The Artist's and Blogger's Union has been mobilized to exterminate Trey Parker and Matt Stone. (Bruce Tinsley will be allowed to live, but will be relocated to Abu Ghraib and forced to increase his output to three strips a day.) Our plot to flood the market with hammer-and-sickle sportswear has succeeded beyond our wildest dreams. (That's been a long struggle -- Sully's been boring us with tales of his anti-Communist heroics in Cambridge Theater of Operations for, what, 30 years now?)

Now, I don't mean to suggest that Gnome is unfamiliar with brutally-enforced ideological conformity; far from it. And it would be cynical to suggest that the real point of Gnome's piece to was ensure his continued access to those "Bloomberg affairs" he adores so much that he ranks them. But you'd think he'd be smart enough to realize that criticism of a leader who (as Gnome admits) deliberately misused intelligence in order to wage war and consolidate power is the antithesis of Stalinism.

p.s. to the Gnome: Supporting a claim that you thought the War Against Iraq was a bad idea from "the get-go" by citing a piece dated July 11, 2005 is only going to make you sound as lazy and stupid as a White House reporter. Or just like a dumbass.

No Bad Writing Goes Impune

You'd think someone who spent twenty years as a press secretary and currently works as a paid shill would grasp the concept of proofreading:

"You all worship at Vince Cerf who has a clear financial interest in the outcome of this debate but you immediately castigate all of us who disagree and impune our motives."

The Democratic Party's gain is K Street's loss.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm late for services at Temple Vince Cerf.

And I Swear That I Don't Have A Gun, No I Don't Have A Gun

No, Rush, you weren't arrested. That wasn't a mug shot. This isn't a cup and you don't have to piss into it on demand.

Rush Limbaugh must submit to random drug tests under an agreement filed Monday that will dismiss a prescription fraud charge against the conservative commentator after 18 months if he complies with the terms.

He also must continue treatment for his acknowledged addiction to painkillers and he cannot own a gun.

Let's see.

If the police want to take my picture, I can just say no.

If they want my bodily fluids, sorry, can't have 'em.

They want me to undergo psychiatric treatment, too fucking bad.

If I want to own a gun, I'm golden.

No, Rush, you didn't win. You bargained away the Bill of Rights to keep your sorry ass out of jail.

News You Can't Use

From the front page of nytimes.com:

"A group of Columbia Business School students put together a comedy sketch about Federal Reserve Chairman Ben S. Bernanke."

Just Say No To Drugs

The abuse of hillbilly heroin and Ding Dongs takes its toll.

The New World Order

World O'Crap has moved to a new site. The direct link to the brand spankin' new W'OC blog is here.

Maybe this move will finally shame me into updating my blogroll.

News Junkies

Over at Butt Busters, the wide loads are hissy-bitching about entirely accurate reporting.

Tiny Tim Graham leads off with this:

The Washington Post showed its liberal colors Saturday morning by running this copy in their "Inside" text box. "Rush Limbaugh Arrested: The talk radio icon surrenders on a charge of committing fraud to obtain prescription drugs." The headline for the story on the front of the Style section was also suggestive: "Rush Limbaugh Turns Himself In On Fraud Charge In Rx Drug Probe." The online link was "Limbaugh Charged With Prescription Drug Fraud," accurate but incomplete.

A casual reader of headlines could easily conclude that Limbaugh was admitting guilt, with words like "surrenders" and "turns himself in." But it was a part of a deal with no admission of guilt. The story by Peter Whoriskey noted: "The agreement is not an admission of guilt to the charge." A less inflammatory set of headlines would have said "Prosecutors, Limbaugh Strike Deal."

Yes, the headlines are entirely accurate, but people who read only the headline might get an inaccurate impression due to a combination of their own laziness and their own stupidity.

Tiny Tim clearly knows his audience.

Meanwhile, on Friday night, Brent Baker posted obsessively about every teevee news story reporting the corpulent junkie's arrest. I understand Baker's date was left stranded at the swap meet while Baker stroked his remotes late into the evening.

p.s. to Brent: The Doughboy Junkie was not a winner, no matter how you spin it. The only winner is Roy Black - to the tune of $750,000 or more, I'd guess.

Next

From Duke Cunningham's alleged Neilsie-like affinity for free hookers, to Karl Rove's pre-indictment return engagement with the grand jury, to Mister Ed Morrisey's adopting a nickname used to identify cowards and predatory pedophiles, it's an embarassment of riches for left-wing bloggers.

Before getting started, let me list some topics I'm not particularly interested in:

1. The Duke University rape allegations

2. The Da Vinci Code (movie, book and/or trial)

3. Barry Bonds

4. Conferences of blogging law professors

5. Hate Air

6. What rightwing jackasses think about United 93

If I think of any more, I'll let you know.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Rush Limbaugh, Criminal Fraud Edition

Blue Baby Huey, a common criminal, has cut a deal (and not with his regular dealer):

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla., April 28 (AP)-- Rush Limbaugh was arrested today on prescription drug charges, with his attorney saying he has reached a deal with prosecutors that will eventually see the charges dismissed if he continues treatment for drug addiction.

Limbaugh turned himself in to authorities on a warrant issued by the State Attorney's Office, said Teri Barbera, a spokeswoman for the State Attorney's Office.

The conservative radio commentator came into the jail about 4 p.m. with his attorney, Roy Black, and left an hour later after posting $3,000 bail, Ms. Barbera said. The warrant was for fraud to conceal information to obtain prescriptions, Ms. Barbera said.

Mr. Black said his client and prosecutors had reached a settlement on a charge of doctor shopping filed today by the state attorney, which Mr. Black said will be dismissed in 18 months if Mr. Limbaugh complies with court guidelines.

As a primary condition of the dismissal, Mr. Limbaugh must continue to seek treatment from the doctor he has seen for the past two and a half years, Mr. Black said.

Whatever happened to law and order, respect for authority and the rule of law? Tens of thousands of law abiding immigrants come to our beautiful country and and obey our laws while native-born criminals like Big Pharma piss on penal code and those who respect the law.

I wonder if Tony Snow can be reached for comment.

(Sombrero tip: Urban Sombrero.)

The Pubic Interest

This is brilliant. Krazy Kounsellor Klayman is suing Judicial Watch, both for damages and to regain control of the organization. In the suit, Klayman immodestly avers:

"Klayman is a celebrity in the non-profit legal/political community. Klayman is widely recognized, both nationally and internationally, as the leading figure in the world of government and judicial oversight and pubic 'watchdog' groups." (Paragraph 97.)

Yes, you read that right. Krazy K admits to his voyeurism and/or porn addiction in his own lawsuit. It really was all about the Clenis for Klayman.

There's much, much more, including guest appearances by Jack Abramoff and the Tiny Toxic Texan (see Paragraphs 57 and 58) and Little Elian.

This lawsuit could be a motherlode of dirt on the Scaife/wingnut dirty tricks machine.

(Link via Slate)

Bush Hires Another Moonie Mouthpiece

I didn't realize Tony Ho's undistinguished career included work for the True Father at the Moonie Times. The man has already discredited himself.

Try To Believe He Said It

Snivelling snitch Chris Hitchens asks, "Why no special prosecutor for the latest CIA leak case?"

Perhaps because in Ms. McCarthy's case, there are no blatant conflicts of interest such as those created by the fact that Smilin' Johnny Asscrack put himself in charge of investigating his former campaign consultant, Karl Rove, and a slew of other Administration crooks and liars, such as Scooter Libby. In this case, Andy Card and Abu Gonzales aren't working hard to give the Administration extra time to delete incriminating emails and purge inculpatory files before commencing the investigation.

Could that be it, Chris?

Sleep it off, Hitch, before you ask any more asinine questions.

And take that filthy Clenis out of your gob, once and for all.

More Random Bitching

Usually at this time of the year, I make noises about traveling south to check out the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books, but end up not going. This year, I'm not going to even bother making the noises.

Here are the schedules: Saturday, Sunday

One of the bigger events is a talk "Doctor" Laura Schlessinger, introduced by "Ms." Tammy Bruce. In an auditorium. To call these individuals "authors" or their output "books" is to insult the good names of whoever writes the Truly Tasteless Jokes series.

And does anyone need to witness a conversation with strokebook mogul Larry Flynt? (Unless he's in conversation with "Doctor" Laura?)

Not even the rare public appearance by the reclusive Frank McCourt has whet my appetite.

Condoleeakker Rice

Here's a bit of cheery news you won't read at The Corner or on Depends Media -- Condi Rice is finally going to be placed under oath:

ALEXANDRIA, Va. -- Lawyers for two lobbyists accused of conspiring to obtain secret defense information said Friday that they intended to prove that senior administration officials, including Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, provided the lobbyists with some of the sensitive information.

Ratcheting up their defense against espionage charges, the lawyers, representing former employees of the American Israel Public Affairs Committee, got tentative clearance from U.S. District Judge T.S. Ellis III to subpoena Rice and three other officials in the case.

...

At a hearing Friday, Abbe Lowell, the lawyer for former AIPAC employee Steven J. Rosen, said the testimony of Rice and the other officials was necessary to show that they also had disclosed sensitive information and that some of the disclosures at the crux of the indictments might have been authorized.

Each of the officials "has real-life dealings with the defendants in this case. They'll explain what they told Dr. Rosen in detail," Lowell said. "Day One - Rice tells him certain information. Day Two - [someone else named in the indictment] tells him the same thing" or similar information.

Day Three: Condi is indicted for leaking confidential information to AIPAC.

Day Four: Wingnut blogosphere says leaking is okay again, except when it isn't.

Remember, Condi: It's never the war crimes, it's the coverup.

(Link via Political Animal.)

Win A Trip With Mike Kinsley

Michael Kinsley's got a funny column about the "Win A Trip With Nick Kristof" contest.

In the column, he also announces a new, less humorous contest, "Win Michael Kinsley's Smug Sense of Intellectual Superiority." The winner will join Mike on 2-week tour of Iraq, where Mike will have the opportunity to fix his intelligence around the horrific consequences of Bush's policy.

Send all entries to michaelkinsley@latimes.com.

Steno Sue and Mimeo Mike

Amazing. You can win a Pulitzer for reporting a story you don't know the first thing about:

From the April 19 edition of Q&A:

SCHMIDT: Well, that's, you know -- I think that some of the elected officials don't know how far this thing goes in their own parties, both Republican and Democrat. The Democrats have not been -- a few have been sort out there strident about it. But there's a deafening silence on the part of a lot of people, and that's because, actually, Abramoff had -- was giving a lot of money to Democrats, too.

Given that we've already been through this with Steno's vulgarian pal, Li'l Debbie Howl, this can't be passed off as a slip of the tongue. Not even Bush is that inarticulate.

Meanwhile, Michael Crowley is choking on the bile of his stunning ignorance:

It would seem the Pulitzer committee missed the memo from the liberal blogosphere that Washington Post reporter Susan Schmidt is a GOP-allied "stenographer." (But then, we always knew Rove and Mehlman are really behind the Pulitzers.) Congratulations to Schmidt and her colleagues James V. Grimaldi and R. Jeffrey Smith for a richly-deserved prize that should more than compensate for the stunning bile thrown at them (mostly Schmidt) of late.

UPDATE: I don't know whether it's hilarious or just tediously predictable that the Daily Kos post on the Pulitzers churlishly fails to mention the Washington Post reporters who helped to drum Tom DeLay out of Congress and may wind up contributing to actual jail sentences for various other GOP congressmen. (And if Schmidt's Pulitzer is just further evidence of the MSM's bankruptcy, then what are the Nick Kristof, Dana Priest, and James Risen awards doing in there? Give it up Schmidt-bashers: You've been routed. The bugle's playing "Taps.")

--Michael Crowley

Give it up, Schmidt-licker. The bugle's playing "Hacks."

Short Takes

I.

Question: How do you tell a wingnut blogger from a fanboy?

Answer: Why bother?

From some dimwit not worth linking to:

"What better way to reign [sic] in the White House Press Corps than to install Jack Bauer as Press Secretary? Let's see if David Gregory has the guts to ask Jack Bauer about 'sloppy seconds'. Imagine Jack Bauer trying to sit still while Helen Thomas goes on one of her diatribes."

Boy, if George Bush was Batman, Osama would be laughing out of the other side of his mouth!

II.

Speaking of Illiterates

Roger el-Simon's got loads of 'em working at his money laundering operation Depends Media blog. Witness the following:

"Eugene Volokh writes about public charter school in Nevada who is really unhappy over a cultural competition about memorizing and reciting great poems that one of its students is winning his way up. Yes, winning."

Yes, mentally handicapped.

III.

Tiffany Midgeson, Queen of The Junior Jumble

"SURI CRUISE [JPod]

That's the baby's name. Wonder how they came up with that unusual first name? Chop the C and the E off Cruise and do a little jumble with the letters. Tom Cruise is a FREAK."

And if you leave the P and TZ off of Tiffany, you've still got an Od Hore.

IV.

Brit Hume: Unstable Lunatic

Even Howie the Putz, in his latest Faux News puff'n'blow, acknowledges Hume is mentally unbalanced:

"[Hume] can be withering in his comments to young staffers, say those who know him, and has a strong temper, once throwing a pitcher of half-frozen orange juice against the wall. But, they say, his flashes of anger quickly pass."

p.s. to Howie the Putz: You should've asked Spume why he supposedly regrets being a gay-bashing bigot.

Rogerus Interruptus

I haven't been able to post for several days. I realized that my cotinued absence might make it appear as if I was still sick, which I'm not. I hope I didn't confuse anyone with that. Sometimes there are just too many things to do and not enough time. I haven't abandoned the blog; I just haven't had the time to write anything (or at least anything worth reading).

Will be back soonish.

Books from Bigots

Thomas Nelson, a purported Christian publisher, has published Donkey Cons, the work of Neo-Klan shitheel Robt. Stacy McCain. Here's how one peabrain, Jason Mattera, reviewed it on Amazon:

Impeccably researched, with over 600 notes, DONKEY CONS credibly proves its point that the Democrat Party is thoroughly corrupt and always has been. Beginning with fugitive, and former vice president Aaron Burr, this book details how the founders of what would become the Democrat Party were corrupt, then chronicles how that corruption became a trademark of the party in the ensuing centuries. McCain and Vincent argue that the fundamental difference between America's political parties is that when a Republican commits a crime he resigns in disgrace, but when a Democrat commits a crime, he never faces punishment and typically becomes a national icon of the party, to boot! Starting in the 1700s and finishing with the Abramoff scandal, DONKEY CONS exposes the Democrat Party's corruption, immorality, and hypocrisy.

Sorry, Jason. McCain's own paper, the Moonie Times, says the lying shit's full of himself on that one:

When recounting the scandal of Republican superlobbyist Jack Abramoff, the authors erroneously talk about the money that "Abramoff and friends' donated to Democratic Party committees. While Abramoff did tell others to give money to Democrats, he never contributed money himself to the party.

Who's McCain's source on that, Deborah Howell? With bald-faced lies like that, it sounds like McCain has footnoted 600 lies.

(By the way, Jason's such a little turd that Chinless Ed Gillespie wants him flushed.)

So far McCain's stooges have provided most of the Amazon reviews, but one person isn't drinking the KKKool-aid:

In any event, she [sic] omits discussion on the worst Mayor (GOP, Dick Murphy, San Diego, who bankrupted the city), worst US Rep (Duke Cunningham, GOP, also San Diego, highest bribes, now in leg irons in jail), worst Senator (Josephy McCarthy, GOP Wisconsin, a drunkard and deranged), worst cabinet member (Jospeh McFall, Teapot Dome scandal, sold US Oil Reserves during GOP Coolidge Administration), and Richard Nixon (GOP, Orange County, criminal) and soon to come, George W. Bush ( from where else, Texas).

From the blurb, it appears that McCain avoids discussing the truly shameful portion of the Democrats' past, namely, its history in the South as a whites-only party. (The party's transformation is undoubtedly what irks McKlan the most -- the party left him.)

It will be interesting to see whether this book gets any reviews in the legitmate press, and whether those reviews will address McCain's bigotry head-on. Equally interesting will be seeing who embraces the bigot from the right.

Fact Check Your Ass

Reason's Matt Welch on wingnuttia's favorite self-admitted slanderer (more fun here):

Michelle Malkin, to name one writer revered by warbloggers (her site recently won Best Blog in an annual poll organized by Right-WingNews.com), is to critical thinking what Ralph Nader is to libertarianism -- a very good example of the opposite. The basic scholarship of her 2004 book In Defense of Internment was cut to ribbons by Japanese-internment historian Eric L. Muller (see "Indefensible Internment," December 2004), yet many of the same people who once trumpeted bloggers' ability to "fact-check your ass" simply shrugged, continued treating Malkin as a trustworthy source, and saved their real journalism criticism for those partisan hacks at CBS News and The New York Times.

This just in -- Joel Henry Hinrichs still is not an Islamojihadofascist.

Welch also takes the pulse of an elderly, incontinent hack who remains (in Welch's column) nameless:

Indeed, someone did tap into Reynolds (and Malkin, and 70 other high-profile bloggers), in the $3.5 million, pro-War on Terror collective known as Pajamas Media. But rather than blaze some new trail, the company stumbled badly out of the gate late last year, with a site chock full of wretched grammar, incoherent design (including an embarrassing name change from "Open Source Media," after a different "Open Source Media" protested), and much wince-inducing wannabe-journalist jargon, such as "compiled by OSM staff in Barcelona."

This just in -- Larry Franklin still a convicted traitor.

Bug Out

Shorter Tom DeLay: "RAAAIIIIIDDDDD!!!!!"

I'm currently sick as a dog that's very sick.

Will return when I feel better.

Otherwise, send donations to Ned Lamont in lieu of flowers.

Coming Soon: Paul Mirengoff and John "Assrocket" Hindraker debate whether Fat Tony Scalia can be impeached for using a foreign obscenity rather than an American obscenity or a British common law obscenity in use at the time of the ratification of the U.S. Constitution.

A Loose Canon

The American Bar Association's Model Code of Judicial Conduct, Canon 1:

A. An independent and honorable judiciary is indispensable to justice in our society. A judge should participate in establishing, maintaining and enforcing high standards of conduct, and shall personally observe those standards so that the integrity and independence of the judiciary will be preserved. The provisions of this Code are to be construed and applied to further that objective.

Commentary:

Deference to the judgments and rulings of courts depends upon public confidence in the integrity and independence of judges. The integrity and independence of judges depends in turn upon their acting without fear or favor. A judiciary of integrity is one in which judges are known for their probity, fairness, honesty, uprightness, and soundness of character.

Honesty, uprightness and soundness of character:

Amid a growing national controversy about the gesture U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia made Sunday at the Cathedral of the Holy Cross, the freelance photographer who captured the moment has come forward with the picture.

"It's inaccurate and deceptive of him to say there was no vulgarity in the moment," said Peter Smith, the Boston University assistant photojournalism professor who made the shot.

...

Smith was working as a freelance photographer for the Boston archdiocese's weekly newspaper at a special Mass for lawyers Sunday when a Herald reporter asked the justice how he responds to critics who might question his impartiality as a judge given his public worship.

"The judge paused for a second, then looked directly into my lens and said, 'To my critics, I say, 'Vaffanculo,' " punctuating the comment by flicking his right hand out from under his chin, Smith said.

The Italian phrase means "(expletive) you."

And don't get me started on Canon 2 and Canon 4.

Follow the second link for a photograph of the un-American jurist making an obscene gesture with his repulsively fat fingers.

70 Months In The Hole

For Smilin' Jack, the Goodfather.

Win A Trip To Nick Kristof's Libel Trial

Who says there's no good news?

The United States Supreme Court refused to hear an appeal from The New York Times on Monday, allowing a libel suit by a former Army bioterrorism expert to go forward.

The suit, filed in 2003 by Steven J. Hatfill, accused Nicholas D. Kristof, an Op-Ed columnist for The Times, of implicating Dr. Hatfill in the unsolved anthrax attacks of 2001.

The suit was dismissed by a federal judge in Virginia in 2004. A divided three-judge panel of the United States Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit, in Richmond, Va., reinstated the case in July, and the full court, by a 6-to-6 vote, declined to rehear it in October.

...

The trial court will now consider whether the statements were false and whether The Times was at fault for publishing them.

TimesSelect as a risk management tool. It all makes sense now.

My slam on the supposedly great, creative lawyering of Abramoff's attorneys is this:

By arguing that a devout Jackoff was offended 25 years ago by the profanity in Red Scorpion, the prosecution can point to Jackoff's more recent obscenity- and racial slur-filled e-mails.

By arguing that a 5-year old Jackoff expressed compassion for the elderly, you bring in the fact that the present-day Jackoff lobbied in favor of sweatshops and sexual exploitation in the Commonwealth of the North Mariana Islands.

By deploying a platoon of Rabbis to vouch for Jackoff, you call to mind Jackoff's impassioned defense of anti-Semitic dictators ("they pay their bills on time") and his alleged tax fraud in claiming deductions for non-existent charitiable donations.

Perhaps the prosecution has already covered that territory, or the defense is anticipating that it will. And if Jackoff wants to pay for a fantasy testimonial rather than a defense, it's his stolen money. But no sane judge is going to buy remorse from a defendant who keeps telling him/her what a great guy he is.

Jeralyn Merritt calls the defense sentencing brief of Jack Abramoff's shysters "great, creative lawyering." It's well-written, for sure (particularly for lawyers representing a purportedly indigent defendant). But if I was the court, defense counsel's happy horseshit would make me want to throw the book at Abramoff with extra velocity.

Here's an excerpt from the brief (warning: .pdf file):

Unfortunately, Mrs. Abramoff's concerns about her children are not without foundation. Dr. Randi Ettner, a clinical psychologist who has been working with the children explains that "as Mr. Abramoff's difficulties escalated, and humiliation came daily with the morning news, [Levi] and the other four children began to suffer, as well. These young people are innocent victims of a steady barrage of ridicule, and they are being traumatized in subtle and obvious ways." (Dr. Ettner Ltr. of 3/13/06.) The toll of seeing their father vilified on a daily basis in the press, and the fear of the fate that awaits their family has depressed the Abramoff children's outlook on life. They are constantly reminded of their fate by the daily public assault on their father's name, including overhearing strangers' insensitivity and callousness when the word "Abramoff" is mentioned.

Whether it be a visit to the grocery store, where Mrs. Abramoff presents her credit card and receives queries as to whether she is related to the "evil lobbyist" by [sic] the same name, whether it be in front of the television for a respite from the onslaught only to hear George Clooney attack their father at the Golden Globe awards, or whether it is having to endure prying questions -- and sometimes outright taunts --of other children at school, the Abramoff family has had to endure pain most children cannot even imagine. (See, e.g., S. Abramoff Ltr.) How could proud parents endure knowing that one of their beloved sons feels such humiliation among his peers that he has sometimes claimed a different family name, just to avoid the awkward conversations that inevitably follow the mention of the word Abramoff? (D. Abramoff Ltr.)

For many of the children, this experience has shaken their confidence and even their faith. On a recent Sabbath dinner, when the Abramoff family was dining alone (which is unusual), the Abramoff children became visibly saddened when Mr. Abramoff expressed thanks to the Almighty for all they have received. As they tell the story, they wanted to know what they have to be thankful for. They explained that their life had been made a living hell, recounted what people were saying to them at school and what they had seen in the press. They reminded their father that he was going to jail. Seeing their parents devote every waking hour to charity and providing for so many; knowing that they themselves always shared their rooms, and often gave up their very beds for strangers in need; that their family was financially broken, that funds to allow them to attend college and start a life of their own were now gone; that one of their grandmothers had recently died and the others death may be quickly approaching; that their father was a crushed, broken man and no longer the dignified and elegant leader of his community -- they asked how could they possibly continue to praise G[o]d and thank Him for their bounty? What bounty?....

They explain that their father patiently listened to their justifiable complaints, and he explained that he understood how they felt and that the pain they are experiencing is not something anyone should be asked to endure, but Mr. Abramoff then reminded his children that they had a nice meal in front of them, a roof over their head and clothes on their backs. He told them they should be thankful they had each other and that they were all healthy. He explained that there are at least a billion people on this planet who would trade places with any one of them in a heart beat, and asked which of them would trade places this very night with kids their own
age, sitting, shivering, hungry, tired and confused -- children their ages who were sitting that night in the New Orleans Superdome, victims of Katrina. All their possessions gone. Their homes washed away. Members of their families missing. Nothing to eat. Nothing to wear. The stench of the Superdome shocking their system. Criminals roaming freely about them [, just like in their own home]. The Abramoff children explain that their father again asked, who would trade their lives for theirs?

The children understood, but after a pause one of them replied: "Yes, Dad, that is true. But it is also true that next year we might not have you here to teach us this lesson." At that point, the children explain that everyone in the family got choked up, everyone in the family began to cry. (Bracketed material added.)

Boo frickin' hoo. Maybe the lessons the little punks need to learn are that fraud has consequences, that their father is the sole reason for their suffering (not the media, or the public, or George Fucking Clooney) and that you can't always buy your way out of trouble no matter how many articulate lawyers you pay to lie for you.

Blogging As A Second Language

Although no one at all seems to care, Depends Media is still around.

A post today from "PJM in LA" has Roger el-Simon's writing written all over it:

During his review on Harvey C. Mansfield's Manliness, Yale at Horsefeathers recall a time when American society didn't have to think over masculinity too strenuously.

The post bears the illuminating title "Weight of the World."

Sadly, Depends doesn't have a permalinks to individual posts (a ridicule deterrent, undoubtedly); look for March 28 at 9:30 a.m. (Wrong! See comments.)

Other highlights from today's Depends: Cathy Seipp recaps her pissing match with various other half-wits in the comments at "Patterico's Pontifications," and "Confederate Yankee" bitches about how the New York Times wrote about a blogger without linking to the guy's blog. (Though the NYT does manage to spell the guy's name correctly, unlike Confederate Yankee at his own blog.)

As Dick Cheney would say, "the Old Media is in its last throes."

Update: Roger gets results! They've added an "s" to "recall." Otherwise, the sentence remains subliterate.

Flatliner

Anderson Cooper:

Yes, we pick it up right where you left it off, with Terri Schiavo, who died a year ago this Friday.

Now, whether she knew it or not, her story touched off a national conversation on death and dying, not to mention family and the law -- that conversation goes on.

Added: And Cooper's Comedy Corner doesn't end there. Oh no, my friends.

COOPER: .... They [the Schindlers] accused Michael Schiavo, living with another woman he later married and starting a new family, of abuse and neglect. But the odds were against them. Of five doctors appointed by the court to study Terri's case, only one insisted the diagnosis was wrong.

DR. WILLIAM HAMMESFAHR, NEUROLOGIST: She did respond to me, when I saw her. And, apparently, she still is responding to people. You know, she looks at you. She focuses on you.

(link.)

Cap Weinberger's Pardon Expires

The eulogy:

President Bush's pardon of Caspar Weinberger and other Iran-contra defendants undermines the principle that no man is above the law. It demonstrates that powerful people with powerful allies can commit serious crimes in high office -- deliberately abusing the public trust without consequence.

Weinberger, who faced four felony charges, deserved to be tried by a jury of citizens. Although it is the President's prerogative to grant pardons, it is every American's right that the criminal justice system be administered fairly, regardless of a person's rank and connections.

The Iran-contra cover-up, which has continued for more than six years, has now been completed with the pardon of Caspar Weinberger. We will make a full report on our findings to Congress and the public describing the details and extent of this cover-up.

Weinberger's early and deliberate decision to conceal and withhold extensive contemporaneous notes of the Iran-contra matter radically altered the official investigations and possibly forestalled timely impeachment proceedings against President Reagan and other officials. Weinberger's notes contain evidence of a conspiracy among the highest-ranking Reagan Administration officials to lie to Congress and the American public. Because the notes were withheld from investigators for years, many of the leads were impossible to follow, key witnesses had purportedly forgotten what was said and done, and statutes of limitation had expired.

Weinberger's concealment of notes is part of a disturbing pattern of deception and obstruction that permeated the highest levels of the Reagan and Bush Administrations. This office was informed only within the past two weeks, on December 11, 1992, that President Bush had failed to produce to investigators his own highly relevant contemporaneous notes, despite repeated requests for such documents. The production of these notes is still ongoing and will lead to appropriate action. In light of President Bush's own misconduct, we are gravely concerned about his decision to pardon others who lied to Congress and obstructed official investigations.

Howie The Putz Demands Affirmative Action

Howie has answered my open letter (not literally) by demanding affirmative action for conservatives, as a remedy for decades of discrimination:

A second major issue was whether hiring a conservative activist as a blogger was a reasonable stab at "balance" when there was no self-proclaimed liberal blogging away, as opposed to left-leaning journalists. I think that's a fair point, but I don't want to see washingtonpost.com or any other MSM outfit abandon efforts to include voices from the right.

And that brings me to the larger question: Do the hiring practices of big newspapers, magazines, networks and Web sites tilt toward people of the liberal persuasion, thereby requiring hand-wringing about intellectual diversity? ...

...

I hope that more people with conservative, free-market or libertarian viewpoints decide to go into mainstream journalism to balance those of more liberal persuasions. But we can't force that to happen if that's not their goal.

I hope that the hallucinogens Howie is taking are not habit forming.

Kurtz cites not a single instance of a supposedly liberal journalist writing straight news with a liberal slant. Nor does he identify any "left-leaning journalists" writing tainted news in the pages of the Post, or on the post dot com. Nor does he present any evidence of any paper hiring reporters based on their political bias.

(Kurtz does cite the idiots at RealClearPolitics, who assert that the Washington Post and New York Times regularly publish the sloppy seconds of The Washington Monthly and The New Republic. Why, yes. Charles Krauthammer, Michael Kelly, Midget Mickey Kaus, and Jimmy "the Turf" Glassman come immediately to mind.)

And he completely avoids mentioning the right-wing spew living large on the Post's editorial pages and opinion columns.

At bottom, Kurtz's argument is dishonest because he ignores all of the "MSM" outlets with openly right-wing agendas and/or right-wing hacks posing as reporters: the Wall Street Journal, Fox News, the New York Post and the rest of Murdoch empire, NBC/MSNBC, U.S. News and many more. By defining "the MSM" as including only the New York Times and WaPo -- and pretending those papers skew left -- Kurtz assumes a media bias that doesn't exist and then demands affirmative action for his pals on the right. A hacktacular display!

p.s. -- Stop bothering Kurtz about Red Sonja; he's bored silly already.

Update: Someone very close to Kurtz also wants to see more "right-leaning journalists" "join the mainstream press."

A couple of weeks ago, Jason Apuzzo famously asked in obscurity, where are the films for conservatives and those living in the Heartland?

Here they are, slappy.

As the Washington Post reminds us, Card was present at the culmination of the miserable failure's most miserable failure.

Largely invisible to the public, he is best known beyond the Beltway probably for his cameo role on Sept. 11, 2001, informing Bush that a second hijacked plane had struck the World Trade Center in New York. Bush at the time was reading a children's book to students in a Florida classroom. As the cameras recorded the moment, Card calmly approached Bush and whispered in his ear. "A second plane hit the second tower," Card told Bush, according to later accounts. "America is under attack."

Resignation is long overdue.

Card's, too.

Rearranging Dickheads On The Titanic

Andrew Card, the Miserable Failure's Chief of Staff, has resigned to spend more time with Claude Allen's family.

Katy Lied

Oh, what a surprise. Katherine "the Grate" Harris lied to Sean Hannity and the Fools Who Watch Faux:

Campaign spokeswoman Morgan Dobbs said Thursday that Harris will sell her existing assets rather than rely on money from her father, a bank executive who died in January.

"It is my understanding from her statements that she does not plan to use inherited money on the campaign -- rather, money from liquidating her personal assets, which she says total $10 million," Dobbs wrote in an e-mail to the Orlando Sentinel.

"I think I am being pretty clear."

However, Dobbs' explanation is at odds with the message Harris has been delivering for more than a week.
...

The announcement was the centerpiece of her appearance on Fox News, where Harris reaffirmed her commitment to the race.

"I'm going to take his legacy that he gave to me, everything I have, and I'm going to put it in this race," she told Sean Hannity. "I'm going to commit my legacy from my father -- $10 million."

A moment later, Hannity asked, "This is money from your father?"

"Yes," replied Harris.

Katy lied in 2000, repeatedly, and we've been suffering ever since.

Fossils On Parade

Meanwhile, on Press the Meat, Elizabeth Bumiller claims that "Bush was careful not to jump on the bandwagon" when that wife of an Army information officer claimed at the Bush West Virginia Loyalty Rally "it seems that our major media networks don't want to portray" the good news from Iraq.

Lizzie, there is more spontaneity in the audience of a Ron Popeil infomerical.

Beating The Dead Whores

Howie the Putz, 10:53 a.m. Eastern, live on Reliable Sources:

"Domenech denies plagiarizing." (paraphrase)

p.s. - It was nice to see Bill "Dice" Bennett acknowledging his ties to the leather community.

Update: Exact quote: "He has denied plagiarizing, but there are certainly a lot of instances that you and others have dug up."

Dear Howard Kurtz,

I look forward to your endless stream of chin-pulling articles and teevee appearances explaining how the hiring of unqualified conservatives is harming the Washington Post and the newspaper industry in general.

Please be sure to prattle on incessantly about "the perception, at least, of a double standard" at the Post for hiring a plainly unqualified white man.

Please wonder aloud, ad nauseam, if a "50 year old hack" who was African-American would have been given a job over a "promising young white" blogger.

Ask whether Mr. Domenech was an "affirmative-action hire" every chance you get.

These matters demand your full attention.

For the next three weeks, minimum.

Cordially yours,

Roger Ailes

The Confections of Stain Augustine, Part II

"I want to apologize to National Review Online, my friends and colleagues here at RedState, and to any others that have been affected over the past few days. I also want to apologize to my previous editors and writers whose work I used inappropriately and without attribution. There is no excuse for this - nor is there an excuse for any obfuscation in my earlier statement.

"I hope that nothing I've done as a teenager or in my professional life will reflect badly on the movement and principles I believe in.

"I'm deeply grateful for the love and encouragment of all those around me. And although I may not deserve such support, it makes it that much more humbling at a time like this. I'm a young man, and I hope that in time that I can earn a measure of the respect that you have given me.

"Regards,

"[Stain]"

"The principles I believe in."

I love that gag.

You didn't use the work of your previous editors without permission. You slandered them. You know, by falsely claiming that they inserted the work of others into your copy.

It's nice to see that you didn't apologize to the Post. It got what it deserved.

Now shut the fuck up until you apologize to the children of Dr. and Mrs. King, and their friends and supporters.

Phony Consolation Post

Don't feel bad, Benjy. You still have your job at Regnery. You're extremely well qualified for that job.

And just remember, you'll have to work very hard, for many years, to achieve anything half as sleazy as your fellow fabricator, Michelle Malkin:

On page 123 of my book, In Defense of Internment, I wrote that Aiko Herzig-Yoshinaga, a research associate for the Commission on Wartime Relocation and Internment of Civilians, "surreptitiously shared confidential documents with" attorney and now-retired law professor Peter Irons. In subsequent comments on my blog, I stated that Irons had been explicitly denied permission to copy the documents and had engaged in similar activities before. It has come to my attention that these statements are in error.

The disputed sentence in my book and my subsequent comments on my blog were based on the following passage in an article by Cal State Fullerton professor Thomas Fujita-Rony in the April 30, 2003, issue of Frontiers: A Journal Of Women Studies:

Irons was not allowed to copy any of the memos and letters he had found detailing this set of actions. The official responsible for screening records for public use was unavailable due to illness, and in the absence of clearance, permission to duplicate these vital documents was denied. Irons called Herzig-Yoshinaga, who, as a researcher for the commission, had the right to access any nonsecret document related to the CWRIC's work. She immediately copied all the documents, which provided proof for the first time of Justice Department misconduct in the cases that upheld the exercise of presidential war powers under the Constitution.

Although Fujita-Rony did not explicitly say that Herzig-Yoshinaga behaved "surreptitiously" or that the documents in question were "confidential," I believe these were reasonable inferences on my part given what he wrote. I clearly cited Fujita-Rony's article as my source in my book and on my blog. I did not contact Herzig-Yoshinaga or Irons directly. The passage, as Bruce Ramsey notes, was not central to the thesis of my book.

In response to inquiries from Irons and me, Fujita-Rony now says the passage he wrote in 2003, which he acknowledges he failed to footnote, is erroneous. He has written a letter of retraction to the editors at Frontiers. Here is his e-mail to me:

Dear Ms. Malkin:

I was in error. I am retracting the assertion that Professor Irons was at any time denied access to the archival materials in question. I am "attaching" and inserting below the text of the letter I am sending to the editors of Frontiers. I hope this will clarify matters.

Sincerely,

Thomas Y. Fujita-Rony

Accordingly, I am retracting my claim that Herzig-Yoshinaga "surreptitiously shared confidential documents with" Irons. I have made a note of this on the errata page of my book. Moreover, I am directing Regnery to excise the words "surreptitiously" and "confidential" from future editions of the book.

In addition, I retract the following statements which appeared on my blog:

August 24, 2004:

Contrary to [University of North Carolina law professor Eric] Muller's assertion that the papers shared were "publicly available documents sitting in publicly available files at archives open to the public," the article makes clear that Irons did not obtain permission to receive the papers he acquired from Herzig-Yoshinaga.

August 25, 2004:

As I noted, these records, however, had not been cleared for public use, and Iron's request to copy them had been explicitly denied. By the way, this was not the only time Irons engaged in these sort of shenanigans.

I apologize to Irons and Herzig-Yoshinaga for the errors [sic].

You only made a complete ass of yourself. Malkin smeared others while making a complete ass of herself.

And, now, a word from Jeff Gannon Jnr.

The Confections of Stain Augustine

By the way, Howie allows Red Sonja to signal his base that he was pissing in his readers' faces with his untruthful "Mea Culpa":

"I regret using the term because I think it's been way overblown," Domenech said. But he said King worked with organizations affiliated with communists in the 1950s and 1960s. Brady called it "a silly comment" but said he is satisfied with Domenech's admission of error.

I'm not sorry I made the statement; I'm sorry I got caught. And let me repeat my Klanish smear again, to show you I wasn't mistaken.

Howie To The Rescue!

Kurtz is on the kase, providing kover!

Late yesterday, the liberal Web sites Daily Kos and Atrios posted examples of what appeared to be instances of plagiarism from Domenech's writing at the William & Mary student paper. Three sentences of a 1999 Domenech review of a Martin Scorsese film were identical to a review in Salon magazine, and several sentences in Domenech's piece on a James Bond movie closely resembled one in the Internet Movie Database. Domenech said he needed to research the examples but that he never used material without attribution and had complained about a college editor improperly adding language to some of his articles.

Now, I'm not a journalist, much less a beloved media critic who rubs shoulders first-nicknames with the media elite on a daily basis. Far be it from me to suggest that Howie's appetite for fecal matter is endless.

But here's a suggestion for you, Howie: Get the name of that college editor, and ask her (or him) to respond to the suggestion that she repeatedly slid paragraphs into Bendover's reviews over 'Dover's protestations. Then, get on the blower to National Review and do the same thing.

Update: I give Howie my best advice, and he just ignores it. Pity.

Ben, Caught Stealing

Original lyrics by Ben Domenech:

I've been caught stealing
Once, when I was twenty-four
I enjoy stealing
It's just as simple as that
Well, it's just a simple fact
When I write something
I don't want to work for it
So I take your work, for free
Take your work for free
Hey, all right
If I get by, it's mine
Mine all mine

(Yes, I recycled this gag from my earlier Claude Allen post. Fitting, ain't it?)

Update (3/24): Roger Caught Stealing! I just noticed the title to this post is identical to the Sadly, No! post I linked to below. Caught red handed! I'm firing my ass from my lucrative blogger gig. Someone else will have to take over.

The Banality of Banality

From RedState.com:

We Must Attack.

It was Hannah Arendt who introduced us to the banality of evil. There was more to this thing called "evil" than grainy newsreel footage of delirious chanting of "Sieg Heil" or the "Internationale." Rage and hatred were not the first steps toward convincing seemingly normal people to go along with totalitarianism. First, repression had to seem normal. Domestic enemies were not hated -- they were dehumanized. In the eyes of their countrymen, their souls were emptied of any qualities extraneous to Political Man. They were the imperialist/capitalist running dog/Jew/Trotskyite -- and that was all.

In 2006 in America, we see perfect replicas of Stalin's drones at work in response to about the only decent thing said about the Domenech affair on Daily Kos. It is an exquisite performance right out of the two minutes hate.

Excuse me, but I've got to go chant "the 'Internationale.'" Be back later.

I'm back. I forgot to read the whole thing. Gavin M. has this quote from the full post:

Michelle. Hugh. Rush. Glenn. This is the moment. Where will you stand?

Wolverines!

Kurtz Kountdown Klock

Howie the Putz bragged about how he interrupted his honeymoon to report on the Jayson Blair plagiarism scandal.

So how long will it be until he reports on his own paper's resident plagiarist, Red Sonja Domenech?

The clock is ticking, Howie.

It ticks for you, too, National Review Online. Radish Pornmumu is objectively pro-plagiarist!

Bitch Set Himself Up

Red Sonja's already making excuses for calling Coretta Scott King a Communist.

You know, just like those bloodthirsty Commies in Bendover's favorite action fantasy, Red Dawn.

Taking a page from Debbie Howell, the little prick claims his slander was simply a "mistake."

Wrong.

What you said, you little prick, was wrong.

Despicable. Contempible. Inexcusable.

But it definitely was not a mistake.

It was a slander, although you conveniently waited until Mrs. King was dead to avoid the consequences publishing such a slander.

A mistake is when you do something inadvertently, without thinking. Your slander of Mrs. King was premediated, cold and calculated. You were showing off to your pale pals in the Right to White Life movement.

You'd do it again, you snivelling shit, if you didn't have a paycheck to protect.

You can run, but you can't lie convincingly.

The only question remaining is whether the Washington Post will continue to endorse your Klanish slanders.

For more on the white-hooded Red American, read Jane Hamsher and Steve Gilliard. And, per Gilliard's link to Howie the Putz, isn't it about time for Kurtz to convene a roundtable of Instacracker, Hindraker, Hugh Hewjass and Jeff Jarvis (for balance!) to condemn the treachery of the left blogosphere on this matter?

Excuses, Excuses

Regular blogging will resume tomorrow. My computer time has been limited.

There's an inevitable tension between posting to keep readers and posting things that are worth reading. There's always time to post things like this:

"I know it's not the war on terror, but face it, nothing is compelling American attention these days more than American Idol. So I will herewith make the following prediction two months before the final: The competition will come down to Chris Daughtry, Katharine McPhee and Mandisa. Chris will win and become a major star. Katharine will get a lead role on Broadway, and Mandisa will do just fine as well."

For me, however, less is more.

More or less.

I'll be back to bash Red Sonja, Warblogger Queen, tomorrow night.

Miserable Failure On Terrorism and Homeland Security

Nooners is half-right. Bush is a miserable failure both foreign and domestic.

The latest Newsweek poll:

His image as an effective leader in the war on terror is tarnished, with less than half the public (44 percent) approving of the way he's handling terrorism and homeland security. Despite a series of presidential speeches meant to bolster support for the war in Iraq, as well as the announcement of a major military offensive when the poll was getting under way, only 29 percent of the people questioned approved Bush's handling of the situation in Iraq. Fully 65 percent disapprove.

It seems Newsweak failed to ask about censure:

The NEWSWEEK poll shows that only 5 percent of Republicans would support impeaching Bush, while 94 percent would not. Among Democrats, almost half (49 percent) support impeachment, while 48 percent oppose it.

Dim Some

A.P. writer Jennifer Loven illuminates the rhetorical cheap trick used by the miserable failure:

WASHINGTON - "Some look at the challenges in Iraq and conclude that the war is lost and not worth another dime or another day," President Bush said recently.

Another time he said, "Some say that if you're Muslim you can't be free."

"There are some really decent people," the president said earlier this year, "who believe that the federal government ought to be the decider of health care ... for all people."

Of course, hardly anyone in mainstream political debate has made such assertions.

...

The device usually is code for Democrats or other White House opponents. In describing what they advocate, Bush often omits an important nuance or substitutes an extreme stance that bears little resemblance to their actual position.

He typically then says he "strongly disagrees" — conveniently knocking down a straw man of his own making.

All true, except that Bush is such an intellectual flyweight that he doesn't knock down the strawmen himself. His speechwriters do.

(Thanks to a reader for the tip.)

Peggy O'Furniture

What's drunk and sits in the back yard all night, trying in vain to write an intelligent column?

Peggy Noonan's Thursday column wasn't the result of celebrating St. Paddy's Day a day early; it's the consequence of celebrating St. Paddy's Day 2005 for twelve months too long.

Peg O' My Failing Liver managed to type the following sentence in an article charging that President Bush spends your tax money like a drunken Wall Street Journal columnist who took an unpaid leave of absence to work for the election of Bush years after his profligacy was known to anyone not living in an alcohol-induced coma:

"Yesterday USA Today ran a front-page story that seemed almost designed to give every conservative in America a Grand Klong, a fanciful medical condition that has been described as a great onrush of fecal matter to the heart."

Uh, Peg, I think you're thinking of a Dirty Santorum, or maybe one of John Yoo's favorite forms of torture.

Somewhere someone is collecting money on a bar bet, at your expense.

Let It Bleed

Does that include the legal defense fund?