Thursday, August 25, 2011

Teabagging Is The Religion of Peace

Oregon's own Andreas Brevik speaks:

"You look like Obama. You are a Muslim like him," a court document quotes Crawford as telling an officer after he was arrested on Dec. 14 for a charge unrelated to the firebombing. "Jihad goes both ways. Christians can jihad too."

Authorities would be wise to check his computer's bookmarks for links to Atlas Shrugged and the usual warbloggers.

I'm Not A Plumber. I'm Nothing You've Heard.

The G.O.P. is not so much determined to repeat past mistakes as it is to multiply them exponentially. They're intent on repeating the Delaware Miracle by tapping television superstar "Joe" "The Plumber" "Wurzelbacher" to run for Congress:

Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, the Ohio resident who rose to prominence during the 2008 presidential cycle as "Joe the Plumber" and later served as a war correspondent, is now considering a run for Congress - and national Republicans appear to be on board.

Wurzelbacher would challenge longtime Democratic Rep. Marcy Kaptur, who represents Ohio's 9th congressional district, an area that includes Toledo. Jon Stainbrook, chairman of the Lucas County Republican Party, told the Toledo Blade that there exists a "high-level interest in the national Republican Party" in a Wurzelbacher candidacy, adding: "We are encouraging Joe to run."

Run, Joe, Run!

Asked about a possible run, he told the Blade: "I think it's a very interesting idea. That's as much as I can say."

We know, Joe.

I Know I Am, But What Am I?

Timmy Carney of the Washington Rectal is so eager to portray the Obama Administration as racist that he inadvertently admits the obvious: That Confederacy apologists and birthers are racist:
And this theme of baseless insinuations of racism is emanating from Team Obama and the White House. Obama's press secretary Jay Carney referred to unnamed opponents "who wanted to secede from the union." The words "secede from the union" clearly invoke the Southern states' effort to preserve slavery in 1861.

Politifact has rated Carney's statement as "False," pointing out that Perry once jokingly referred to a supposed right of Texas to secede. He's repeatedly denied actually believing this. That didn't stop Carney. Facts rarely interfere with the Left's effort to tar conservatives as racist.

Robert Gibbs, Carney's predecessor and now an Obama campaign adviser, on TV last Tuesday joked that "Any day now, Rick Perry will ask to see the president's birth certificate

I could find no record of Perry ever insinuating that Obama wasn't born in the United States. Gibbs was trying to lump Perry in with a racially tinged line of attack on Obama that suggested he was really born in Kenya. By calling Perry a borderline birther, Gibbs was essentially calling Perry a racist."
Poor dumb fuck doesn't realize that he's supposed to say that Confederacy-humping is about heritage and the heroism of ancestors, and that questions remain! about the birth certificate. He's not supposed to admit that secessionists (which Perry is, despite Politifucked's protestations)and Teabirthers are in fact racist.

Timmy's going get a brutal beating at the next CPAC for disclosing the wingnuts' true nature.

Rumble In The Bunghole

The wingnutosphere reminds one to paraphrase that old saw about faculty politics -- the fighting is so vicious because the brains are so small:

In a strange rationale for the e-mail leak, Erickson says Riehl tried to blackmail him after a Redstate blogger criticized fellow right-wing blogger Michele Malkin for her opposition to Texas Governor Rick Perry's position on HPV vaccines. Erickson claims that Riehl promised to "burn Erick's integrity to the ground" if Redstate didn't retract the post attacking Malkin. Erickson says he refused. "I certainly wasn’t going to apologize for something... let alone be more or less blackmailed into an editorial position."

On the one hand, you could burn Erick Erickson's integrity to the ground with lukewarm tap water. On the other, an apology from Erickson is like the vice-presidency -- not worth a bucket of warm spit, yet too good for Sarah Palin.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Michael Rubbin: Let's You and Him Fight

Not to be confused with the more masculine Jennifer Rubbin, Commentary Magazine's Michael Rubbin demands that President Obama capture the man convicted of bombing Pan Am Flight 103, to show Obama's sincere about his regret that the Brits released the man:

Subsequent information showed that British officials facilitated Megrahi’s release in hope of receiving favor for British oil companies. Well, Megrahi is still alive, in a wheelchair but well enough to have been shown on Libyan television attending a pro-Qaddafi rally just last month. If Obama was sincere in his regret, perhaps the time is right to seize Megrahi and finally win justice for the American victims of Lockerbie.

This argument is intended to tarnish Obama's glow after killing Bin Laden, with the wingnuts offered up an endless parade of targets for Obama to (fail to) rub out. But my point is this: Why can Rubbin do his own rubbin'? There's nothing stopping Rubbin from entering Libya as a journalist and whacking (or capturing) Megrahi. Despite the fact that the color of his teeth match his necktie, Rubbin looks like he's healthly enough to take a 60 year old man in a wheelchair two falls out of three. Why do these wingnuts expect government to do everything for them?

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Another Reason We Adore Roy Edroso

Alicublog on Situational Cookie Ethics:

Maybe she's not the only one who's confused. I see Rush Limbaugh called Obama an Oreo. I remember when conservatives told us this was the worst thing you could say about a black guy. Considering it's one of their strong suits, isn't it amazing that they're actually fucking up at racism?

Update: Link fixed.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Coming this fall to the USA Network: Perry, Texas Traitor.

Starring Chuck Norris' toupee as Governor Rick Perry.

Catchphrase: "Dare to Secede."

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Welcome to Fantasy Island

I mean this seriously: What could go wrong? I can't think of a single thing.

Pay Pal founder and early Facebook investor Peter Thiel has given $1.25 million to an initiative to create floating libertarian countries in international waters, according to a profile of the billionaire in Details magazine.

Thiel has been a big backer of the Seasteading Institute, which seeks to build sovereign nations on oil rig-like platforms to occupy waters beyond the reach of law-of-the-sea treaties. The idea is for these countries to start from scratch--free from the laws, regulations, and moral codes of any existing place. Details says the experiment would be "a kind of floating petri dish for implementing policies that libertarians, stymied by indifference at the voting booths, have been unable to advance: no welfare, looser building codes, no minimum wage, and few restrictions on weapons."

Looser building codes? Few restrictions on weapons?


Also, Too: If this dumbass thinks $1.25M will get anywhere near the construction of a liveable platform in international waters, he's dumber than most other libertarians. (He and his Randian Supermen pals can't even time-share Ashton Kutcher's set trailer with that pittance.) Either he believes there's a couple hundred thousand more libertarian tools with $1M bills burning holes in their elasticized slacks, or he's planning on being very old when the thing gets built.

Also: Gilligan's Gulch definitely will not allow investor lawsuits.

Smack Her Bitch Up

The very Presidential Sharia Plain isn't satisified with the quality of service she receives from her media lapdogs:

Anyway, the Palin team pounced. Specifically inviting over reporter Kasie Hunt from Politico so she could hear the exchange, Palin called [Daily Caller stooge Alex] Pappas' cell phone and began berating him in a very scolding manner for writing a headline suggesting she supports Romney. Pappas didn't even know what she was talking about. When he tried to say that neither he nor his editors had written such a headline, she said she didn't have time for this, that she needed to go back to the "real people" at the State Fair, and hung up on him.

How did the Politicho stenographer cover this infantile outburst? Like this:

And when the Daily Caller wrote a story suggesting that she'd said she favored Romney, the Palin entourage was visibly angry. Todd Palin pulled the story up on his BlackBerry, and handed it to his wife — "those dang reporters!" she exclaimed. A few moments later, a Palin aide put the Caller reporter, Alex Pappas, on the phone with the former governor.

"So what you're saying is that I said that I support Mitt Romney?” she asked Pappas. "You need to be clear, otherwise people really lose faith in the state of journalists today."

At Politicho, nothing succeeds like suckcess.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Mormonism Is A Religion of Peace

Wingnuts in a Virginia school district are banning "A Study in Scarlet" from a sixth grade reading list for its anti-Mormon heresies. A Los Angeles Times article on the ban states:

You don't have to be a world-class detective to see that the book casts Mormons in a bad light, suggesting it's a religion whose adherents are willing to commit murder to protect their ideals.

Which makes it exactly like almost every other religion.

It would have been nice for the Times to point out that Doyle's depiction of Mormons was based on an historical event which involved Mormons murdering people. This is like banning a book for saying the Mormons were polygamists.

Meanwhile, the Ablemarle County School District replaced "A Study in Scarlet" with "The Adventure of the Three Gables" on the approved reading list. The District also banned "No Apologies: The Case for American Greatness" from its reading lists for casting Mormons as pathological liars who are willing to say anything to become President.

We Have A Winner

George Fwill, May 2011:

I think we know with reasonable certainty that standing up there on the west front of the Capitol on Jan. 20, 2013 will be one of three people: Obama, [Tim] Pawlenty and [Mitch] Daniels. I think that’s it.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

How Many Corn Dogs Can Michele Bachmann Chomp?

You've probably seen the unfortunate photo of Michele Bachmann with a corn dog in her mouth (Warning: NSFYGR), but there's also this:

Driving away on a golf cart with her husband Marcus beside her, Mrs Bachmann stopped to buy a foot-long corn dog -- a chicken and beef sausage in deep-fried batter. After applying mustard and allowing Mr Bachmann to take the first bite, she chomped into it with gusto.
In the photo, Bachmann's corndog isn't pre-bitten by Marcus and it doesn't have mustard on it. So she must have downed at least two feet of corndog (give or take Marcus' chomp) in very little time. And Tim Pawlenty says Bachmann hasn't accomplished anything.

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

Cruller? I Don't Even Know Her!

ROCKAWAY TOWNSHIP, N.J. (AP) — Police say there was more on the menu than Munchkins and lattes during the late shift at a Dunkin' Donuts in northern New Jersey.

A 29-year-old female is facing prostitution charges after police say she took breaks to provide sex in exchange for money.


Detective Sgt. Kyle Schwarzmann told The Daily Record of Parsippany he noticed that 29-year-old [name redacted] of Mine Hill would go out to cars and would spend 10 to 15 minutes in the vehicles.

Schwarzmann says Redmond was arrested after soliciting sex from an undercover officer.

No one at the Dunkin' Donuts wanted to comment. they were contemplating how many times they had ordered the glazed.