Monday, July 19, 2010

NAACP calls on Teabaggers to expel racists from their ranks; Teabaggers expel a racist from their ranks.

That's what I call success.

Now why is there a debate, again?

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Listen to Reason

Ever wonder how Reason magazine keeps Nick Gillespie and his ilk in the lap of luxury? Follow the Fountainhead:

In December 2007, Bradley—using a fictitious name, credit card number, and address–ordered copies of Milk Nymphos and Storm Squirters 2: Target Practice from the website to a location inside the District of Columbia. John "Buttman" Stagliano, accused of filling Bradley’s order, now stands trial for obscenity charges in U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia.


Before starting the porn, court officials examined the IDs of everyone in attendance to verify that they were over the age of 18. Prosecutors briefly fumbled with the DVD system—the jury caught an extra scene of two women making out in cat costumes—before arriving at the main event. Milk Nymphos was screened on two large televisions, one on each side of the jury box. While it was certainly possible to catch the on-screen action from many angles in the public viewing area, it was clear that the material was intended for inspection by the jury, not the audience. This point was reinforced by Leon’s decision to play audio through Court-issued headsets, which members of the public were not provided. (Leon made a slight exception for the press, issuing two headsets to be shared among the several reporters present).

Without headsets, the public missed one of the most interesting aspects of the scene that the prosecution decided to show—the repeated use of racial slurs.

The 50-minute-long Milk Nymphos scene involves two white female performers, one black male performer, and a whole lot of milk entering and exiting various orifices. One of the female performers repeatedly refers to her male co-star as a “nigger,” declaring, for example, “Come on you nigger, fuck me in the ass,” and imploring the other female performer to “look in his eyes when you suck his nigger cock.”

Stagliano was acquitted. He should be free to make his movies -- "award winning movies," Reason constantly assures us -- without fear of prosecution. Gillespie should be free to watch them. Reason and Gillespie should be free to suck from Stagliano's teat, as they say.

You'll pardon me if I don't shake hands with them.

The All-Star Game

If CPAC or the Tea Party Express or the RedState FurriesFest could find just one blogger with the abilities of any member this panel, they'd still suck. These people are geniuses.

And Roy's Cher is pitch-perfect.

Shorter Barney Frank

"I knew prostitutes. Prostitutes were my friends. Senator, these women don't look like any prostutites I knew."

I'm Sure You Haven't, Mickey

Mickey the K is back from a well-deserved 10 day vacation, and he's stating the obvious:

I haven't heard of a lot of sympathy for low-wage illegals among lower-skilled or unemployed black workers. ...

I haven't heard much enthusiasm among Slate's editors for giving Kaus his old job back. Surely that means that Kaus' base isn't interested in publishing Kaus' insipid musings on Dick Morris' drippings, and not that I don't know any of Slate's editors, or how they think.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Goats Go To Hell

What happened to Mickey Kaus? He's still blogging at his fake campaign website blog, or he was nine days ago. His comments section infested with spammers and teabaggers.

Has the Washington Post Company made an economically and journalistically sound decision in deciding not to rehire Kaus? Is Kaus living off the largesse of his campaign supporters? If all else fails, I'm sure Andy Dimbart can find some sort of position for Mickey.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Shorter Nick Pistoff

"Let's you and him fight, by which I mean let's you let him beat your ass senseless."

And, in the Great White Tourist's fantasy, the "you" are all women.

MoDoin' Is Easy

His decision came after he consulted with his mom and formed a hoops cartel with his pals Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade. It's usually women who get accused of needing to go places (restaurant bathrooms) together.

And before she passed out, she started to type:

The next thing you know, the three LeBronte sisters will have their periods together, even though a basketball game is divided into quarters and a hockey match has periods.

Markos Twain

Wingnuts have a new old reason to hate Mark Twain, beyond the unfairness of the fact that he can say nigger and they can't:

Whether anguishing over American military interventions abroad or delivering jabs at Wall Street tycoons, this Twain is strikingly contemporary. Though the autobiography also contains its share of homespun tales, some of its observations about American life are so acerbic — at one point Twain refers to American soldiers as “uniformed assassins” — that his heirs and editors, as well as the writer himself, feared they would damage his reputation if not withheld.

“From the first, second, third and fourth editions all sound and sane expressions of opinion must be left out,” Twain instructed them in 1906. “There may be a market for that kind of wares a century from now. There is no hurry. Wait and see.”


Twain’s opposition to incipient imperialism and American military intervention in Cuba and the Philippines, for example, were well known even in his own time. But the uncensored autobiography makes it clear that those feelings ran very deep and includes remarks that, if made today in the context of Iraq or Afghanistan, would probably lead the right wing to question the patriotism of this most American of American writers.

In a passage removed by Paine, Twain excoriates “the iniquitous Cuban-Spanish War” and Gen. Leonard Wood’s “mephitic record” as governor general in Havana. In writing about an attack on a tribal group in the Philippines, Twain refers to American troops as “our uniformed assassins” and describes their killing of “six hundred helpless and weaponless savages” as “a long and happy picnic with nothing to do but sit in comfort and fire the Golden Rule into those people down there and imagine letters to write home to the admiring families, and pile glory upon glory.”

Of course, Twain's views on war and imperialism, if not these particular passages, were and are well known. And wingnuts happily and freely criticize wars they don't like, and American soliders who don't toe the wingnut line. (See, e.g., Northern Aggression, War of (1861-2010) and Kerry, John, war crimes of.) So the author of the article quoted above is giving wingnuts undeserved credit for intellectual consistency. They'll hate Twain because he's not the wordsmith Glenn Beck and Orson S. Card are.

Monday, July 05, 2010

Citizens United Meets McDonald v. Chicago

Headline from the front page:

Should BP nuke the leaking well?

Everybody Smokes In Hell

The wingnuts are pretending to wrestle with the moral dilemma of whether to pray for Chris Hitchens, their ally in conspicuous hatred of Islamic fundamentalists and Bill Clinton's dong. The 'nuts aren't specific as to whether they are praying for Chris' recovery from esophageal cancer or his willingness to accept the Lord Jesus as his personal saviour before he snuffs it.
Of course, Chris would say these people are fools.
Hitchens's next book, he says, will be about the Ten Commandments.

"There's a loophole in everything," Hitchens says. "You can always fool God. Many is the Muslim who says, 'We can't have wine. Would you like a glass of ]?' I think religion is theology with the questions left out."
Meanwhile, Hitch appears to be fooling himself on the question of whether he actually quit smoking. If only he had listened to Nanny Bloomberg.

Hitchens has managed to pack a lot of living into his time so far, as well he should, since he knows there's no pie in the sky by and by. And his diagnosis may allow him the opportunity to come out of his shell and tell us what he really thinks.

(Title stolen from John Ridley)

Howard Kurtz, Patient Zero

In the course of beating off charges by a Politico writer that Reliable Sources is the Hair Club for Beltway hacks, Howad Kurtz sing-songed that the greatest proof of his show's diversity is that

"No one else was putting Jonah Goldberg on the air when we started booking him years ago."

(See clip at 42 seconds in)

And now, years later, Fox News and the Fox Business Channel will point a camera at the 'Load when the bottom of the barrel has been sucked dry and inspected with a microscope to make sure no one else has been overlooked.

Kurtz is correct that Reliable Sources isn't limited to Beltway insiders -- it features hacks from both coasts of the United States who will suck up to Howad. The club is open to anyone willing to ignore Kurtz's glaring conflicts and pretend he is an honest broker. The fact that Kurtz thinks his crowning accomplishment is infecting the airwaves with a dissembling wingnut who owes his career to Beltway incest is only further proof that Kurtz isn't fit to line a birdcage.

Sunday, July 04, 2010

Will Glenn Reynolds be the first American to apply for an Iranian sex tourist visa?

Saturday, July 03, 2010

EXCLUSIVE: Moonie Times Prepares To Sack Hacks as Calls to Fire Illiterate Headline Writers Grow

EXCLUSIVE: GOP prepares as calls for Steele's resignation grows

More remedial English, less tossing off into the holy handkerchief, guys.

Know who would make a good RNC Chairman?

Erick Erickson.

B.U. Hoo

The main problem with Beck University is its zero tolerance alcohol policy.

The founder of B.U. is a drunk who can tolerate zero alcohol, and suffers from fetal alcohol syndrome because of his drinking.

And what's a university without drinking? Surely no one goes to Beck U. to get laid.

Friday, July 02, 2010

Tourist Season

K-Lo's pen pal takes a two-week tour of Old Europe, and runs into a bunch of his fellow Americans:

My friend and I went all over the place, exploring the greatest cities of Western Civilization, and while inspiring, I was also troubled by what I saw. The cathedrals, some of the most magnificent buildings I have ever seen and that I would be in awe to worship in every day, were largely empty, while the sex shops and government bureaucracy buildings were teeming with people.

You'd've thought sharia law had taken care of all that.

The Fourth of July

The world's most famous illiterate editor writes:

Independence Day [Kathryn Jean Lopez]

What is everyone doing (besides reading Rich's column)? Please e-mail — especially if you're in the military or otherwise serving, someone.

I hope you get to enjoy the weekend.

K-Lo is, of course, watching the 24-hour The Patriot marathon on TNT and FedEXing cans of lighter fluid to Mel Gibson.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Invisible Plane Is Now A Shapeshifting Prius

I wonder what Warner Fred Flintstone will say about this:

Given the hope that the character will one day have her own international film franchise (a feature has long been gestating at Warner Entertainment, DC's parent company), one test of the design was to imagine how it would look standing next to, say, Batman’s politically neutral ensemble. "The original costume was the American flag brought to life," Mr. Lee said. "This one is a little more universal."

Warner went crazier when G.I. Joe refused to waterboard the Hadji Singh action figure, and when Captain America dissed the teabaggers. This might really set him off, though I doubt he plays much with female dolls.

And this might be a little too Biblical for the fundies:

In the reimagining of her story, Wonder Woman, instead of growing up on Paradise Island with her mother, Queen Hippolyta, and her Amazon sisters, is smuggled out as a baby when unknown forces destroy her home and slaughter its inhabitants.

No word on which way Ms. Prince's lariat swings this time.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Hey Hey

Mr. Cub, Ernie Banks, participates in the Chicago Pride Parade.

Banks rode in a convertible with the Ricketts family, who bought the Cubs last fall and who made the team’s first official appearance in the parade.

Banks said he participated for the first time at the Ricketts’ behest and to thank the neighborhood Cubs fans.

"I know the area — Boystown — and they've all been very nice and friendly with me," Banks said. "I want to show that I have compassion for them.

"They know the game and have great respect for the players," he said.

The word compassion sounds a bit off in this context. But Ernie Banks was himself a victim of discrimination, having played the first part of his career in the Negro Leagues. And we all should be more compassionate.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Thoughts on The Weigel/Journolist Controversy

(My thoughts, in case you were wondering whose they were.)

1. Weigel shouldn't be surprised that statements he posted to the Journolist listserv were shared with non-members. In 2009, someone from the list shared postings with Mickey Fucking Kaus, for fuck's sake. It would be absurd to think that communications among the group would not reach the inboxes of bitter hacks such as Kaus, Tucker Faye Carlson and Jeffrey Goldberg.

2. Nothing Weigel wrote was particularly scathing or outrageous. Bryon York, Drudge, Big Pharma, etc. are deserving of far worse ribbing than anything Weigel wrote about them.

3. Nor was much of it particularly liberal. Weigel is a libertarian who didn't pretend that morons weren't morons for the sake of the team That job is already taken by Dr. and Mrs. Instracracker.

4. Now that WaPoCo has fired Wiegel, they can afford to pay Kaus again. Not that they should, but they surely will.

5. I don't know anything about the Journolist -- being neither a mover, a shaker or a midnight toker -- and don't much care. But how hard could it be to find out who the leaker(s) is/are? Eliminate everyone who doesn't think that leakees Kaus, Carlson and Goldberg are schmucks, and you've got a narrow field. I suppose the leaker could be someone who was silent on the schmuck question, or even someone who thinks they're schmucks but hates Klein/Weigel even more. But it's a good starting point.

6. Howard Kurtz is still a fucking right-wing hack. Writes Kurtz:

This is not the first time that has had problems covering the right. In 2006, conservative blogger Ben Domenech resigned three days after his debut, following a flurry of plagiarism allegations involving his previous work.

Allegations? Box Turtle Ben got caught redstate-handed, and lied about it. And Domenech wasn't "a problem covering the right," he was problem of the right.

7. Bottom line: WaPoCo is free to do whatever it likes with its dwindling resources and its dwindled credibility. Maybe they can clone Kurtz and Milbank and Gerson and Sally Quinn and Chas. Lane, who don't pretend (or succesfully pretend) to be reporters. Just makes my "job" easier.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Palin/McChrystal '12.

You will be reading that (somewhere other than here) in the next 24 minutes. It will be the leading wingnut wet dream by this time tomorrow.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Monday, June 21, 2010

Priests Are Fathers Too

K-Lo tweets twice: Priests are Fathers too

Why, yes, Kathryn, they are:

NEW YORK — A Mexican man said Monday he is the son of the founder of a once-influential Roman Catholic religious order, and accused his father of repeatedly molesting him.

In a lawsuit, Jose Raul Gonzalez, 30, accused the late Rev. Marcial Maciel of abuse beginning at age 7. Gonzalez said Maciel led a double life, explaining his long absences from the family by saying he was a CIA agent and oil executive.

Despite the power the Legionaries of Christ once held with Vatican officials, the Holy See recently concluded that Maciel, the order's founder, led a life that was "devoid of any scruples" and included molesting young boys.

Gonzalez said the abuse began when Maciel took him on trips in South America, England and elsewhere. Leaders of the Legion knew for decades that Maciel was a pedophile and did nothing to stop him, Gonzalez said in his legal claim against the group.

"He always said to us that he was an enemy of the lies, but he was the most liar, the biggest liar," said Gonzalez, at a news conference with his attorney, Jeff Anderson.

Jim Fair, a U.S. spokesman for the Legion, said he could not comment on the lawsuit, but Fair noted that the Legion has said that Gonzalez' paternity claim "apparently was true."

It would be a very good idea to keep minors off the National Review Cruise.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Nice Deep Sea Oil Platform You Have There, Miss. Be A Shame If Something Happened To It

I see your Native American genocide, Roy, and call you: Obama raped B.P. while shaking it down:

Let me be clear about something - BP must pay. They've created an environmental disaster (sorry, Mr. President, but it's probably not the biggest in American history - look up the dust bowl sometime) that will probably devastate economic and natural life in the Gulf of Mexico for years and years. I don't think $20 billion plus clean-up costs is too much to demand. It might in fact be too little. If BP cut corners on safety and if the cut corners greatly increased the probability of this disaster, it deserves every legal penalty we can throw at it. But let's not forget that a prostitute can be raped, church-going family men can commit rape, and you're more likely to get away with rape if everyone thinks the victim deserves it. A corporate vandal can be shaken down, our saintly president can probably manage a pretty good shakedown, and he's likely to get away with it if everyone thinks the victim deserves it.

Well played, James! You would make sweet, sweet love to BP while collecting its cash, whereas Obama is simply a cad and a brute who doesn't respect our Anglo cwhoreperations!

FOX News has just placed you into its speed dial. But you've got to add race hustler and poverty pimp to your repertoire if you want a spot on prime time.

Crazy Inspector General's Frivolous Lawsuit Tossed

Here's further proof that Gerald Walpin was unqualified to serve as Inspector General for the Corporation for National and Community Service -- his frivolous lawsuit against the United States was tossed by a U.S. District Judge.

In due course, we will learn that a U.S. Court of Appeals and the United States Supreme Court are in on the conspiracy against Mr. Walpin, at least if we keep our subscriptions to Wingnut News Daily and the Moonie Times current.

What do you call an oil company executive with no arms and no legs floating in the Gulf of Mexico?