Monday, March 17, 2008

The Everending Story

Good news from the front, fellow Warriors on Christmas. John Gibson, Christian soldier, has fallen in battle. And not from enemy fire -- he collapsed under the weight of his lumpy albino head, which was carrying too many rocks for his emaciated frame.

Fox News Channel, tinkering for the first time in eight years with its popular early evening lineup, is replacing its 5 p.m. news broadcast, "The Big Story," with an election-theme program for the foreseeable future. The network confirmed this week that "America's Election HQ," a program that displaced "The Big Story" temporarily last month, would continue indefinitely. The program’s hosts, Bill Hemmer and Megyn Kelly, also anchor the network’s mid-morning newscast and are seen as rising stars on the channel. The change was first reported by the blog John Gibson, the longtime host of "The Big Story," will continue to have a role on television, the network said, although it appears that his future for now lies mostly on radio.

Victory is in sight. Christmas will not live to see another secular Winter Festival, mark my words.

It's too early to call it a trend, but with the cancellation of Tucker!, it can't be too early to send Glen Beck a gallon of Ancient Age with which to drown his sorrows. Just in case.

Meanwhile, Howie Kurtz thinks he's the perfect host to fill John Gibson's shoes, and submits this fluffgasmic audition tape to the powers at Fox News. Eliot Spitzer wishes he'd gotten that kind of full service.

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