2008 Bad Sex Award
It's early days, but I think we have the winner:
"I hadn't yet come to grips with the notion of giving up Popeyes when Obama -- slender, chewing Nicorette and perfectly groomed in his crisp white shirt -- came upon me. I was splattered with so much red sauce it could have been a scene from 'Saw IV.'"
More like Carrie, I'd suspect. Or Bride of Chucky.