Saturday, April 21, 2007

Captain of Idiocy

It's a good thing Mister Ed quit his job as manager at Hardee's to take up blogging full time. Even the most dedicated blogger can't spent eight hours behind the fry warmer and then come home to paraphrase entire articles from the right-wing press. Now that he's got the time to do research and investigation, the quality of the Cap'n's work shown remarkable improvement.

Here, Ed swallows whole the willfully gullible ramblings of Melanie Phillips in the Daily Mail, and reveals the uncontrovertible evidence that the Bush Administration covered up Saddam's massive stockpile of nuclear, biological and chemical weapons, and then allowed the Syrians to get their filthy mitts on the lot of it. He takes what Phillips acknowledges is unsubstantiated assertion and turns it into rock-solid fact:

Where did the material go? Unguarded, the sies [sic] got raided by Iraqi and Syrian forces, aided by Russian intel. The weapons material got shipped to Syria, in a location Garbauzt [sic] insists is known to American intelligence forces. The ironic result of the screw-up is that a terror-supporting nation has its hands on WMD, and could easily pass it to its radical-Islamist terror proxies, Hamas or Hezbollah.

And that is precisely why the Bush administration has not publicly made the case for WMD. In order to use this information, the Pentagon would have to admit that it fouled up so badly that it created the opportunity for terrorists to use Saddam's WMD. Democrats, who normally would have a field day pointing out the incompetence of the executive branch, can't use it because it would prove that George Bush was right about the WMD. Apparently, no one wants to acknowledge Garbautz's information about the existence and status of the WMD.

As Melanie Phillips says, it has proven to be the Axis of Embarrassment for both political parties. In the meantime, the truth has been hidden about the danger of Assad's grip on Saddam's weapons -- and, of course, his military partnership with Iran. Read the entire article.

Note that second paragraph. It's a clever, padded reworking of Phillips' conclusion:

The Republicans won't touch this because it would reveal the incompetence of the Bush administration in failing to neutralise the danger of Iraqi WMD. The Democrats won't touch it because it would show President Bush was right to invade Iraq in the first place. It is an axis of embarrassment.

Captain Queef simply adds language shifting blame from Bush Administration to the Pentagon to appease his rabid readers, and moves the axis of embarassment crack to the next paragraph. It's almost like this stuff writes itself.

And for Ed's first paragraph, it comes from here:

But we told them that if they didn't excavate these sites, others would.'

That, [Gaubatz] says, is precisely what happened. He subsequently learnt from Iraqi, CIA and British intelligence that the WMD buried in the four sites were excavated by Iraqis and Syrians, with help from the Russians, and moved to Syria. The location in Syria of this material, he says, is also known to these intelligence agencies. The worst-case scenario has now come about.

Unfortunately, Ed forgot to plagiarize the sentence buried at the end of the article, where Phillips acknowledges she doesn't know whether any of this shit is true (and, like the Cap'n, made no effort to find out).

One can envision the Captain in his Quarters, right next to the overflowing hamper, feverishly cutting and pasting his reasoned conclusions while firing up in another window to cover his tracks. This stuff must take him all day to rewrite. No wonder the burgers at Hardee's always seem warmed-over and stale.

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