Here's some particularly fruity prose from his perfumed love letter to Judy Miller (or, as the New York Times would call it, his "uncoerced waiver"):

"Dear Judy, Your reporting, and you are missed. Like many Americans, I admire your principled stand. But, like many friends and readers, I would welcome you back among the rest of us, doing what you do best -- reporting."

Then, several paragraphs expressed his surprise that she has not acted on his voluntary offer of a year earlier to waive his rights to confidentiality, since it "served my best interests…this is the rare case where this 'source' will be better off if you testified." He dubbed this the "Miller corollary."

He closed the letter on this personal note (although he wasn't quite right on when autumn begins): "You went into jail in the summer. It is fall now. You will have stories to cover -- Iraqi elections and suicide bombers, biological threats and the Iranian nuclear program. Out West, where you vacation, the aspens will already be turning. They turn in clusters, because their roots connect them."

(Just like the Iraqi civilians who died in clusters, because our cluster bombs killed them.)

"Come back to work -- and life. Until then, you will remain in my thoughts and prayers."

Those last twelve months, well, it just kind of slipped my mind. You know how it is.

And someone should buy Irv a dictionary before he goes to prison.

Upon my death, before they light the funeral pyre, let it be said of me: "He was clad in inappropriate pants."

(Via Steve M.)

Only at the redesigned Clownhall.com.

You Asked For It

A comment by M.V.P. commenter EPT led me to this article in today's Wash. Po.:

This spring, Republicans and Democrats voiced outrage over the news that independent counsel David M. Barrett was still pursuing a decade-long, $21 million investigation into a crime long confessed and paid for. Without debate, the Senate unanimously agreed to strip Barrett of further funding for his inquiry on former housing secretary Henry G. Cisneros.

But, prodded by conservative commentators, House Republican leaders grew convinced that Democrats were trying to suppress embarrassing revelations about the Clinton administration. The Senate provision was ditched behind closed doors, and Barrett and his staff continue to work -- at a cost to taxpayers of nearly $2 million a year -- on an inquiry that seemingly ended 13 months ago.

...

It is not clear what Barrett's office is doing on a day-to-day basis, but the audit provided broad categories of expenditures. Barrett spent $464,009 on pay and benefits over six months; $24,014 on travel; $236,316 on rent, phone bills and utilities; $103,233 on contractors, mainly lawyers on retainer; and $74,178 on administrative services.

For those playing along at home, IC Barrett had only racked up 9 million at the time Cisneros pleaded guilty. But Cisneros paid $10,025 in fines, so we're only down $20,989,975.

So far.

The article also states that "Kenneth W. Starr's probe ... officially closed in March 2004." And I'd thought it had lost all functioning back in 2000.

One of these things is not like the others
One of these things just doesn't belong
Can you tell which thing is not like the others
By the time I finish my song?

(Photo by Osman Orval, Associated Press)

Grand Old Police Blotter: Administration Charged With Multiple Counts of Soliciting Prostituion Edition

Seems Rod Paige was violating the law when he went on the down low with Armstrong Williams:

WASHINGTON, Sept. 30 - Federal auditors said on Friday that the Bush administration violated the law by buying favorable news coverage of President Bush's education policies, by making payments to the conservative commentator Armstrong Williams and by hiring a public relations company to analyze media perceptions of the Republican Party.

In a blistering report, the investigators, from the Government Accountability Office, said the administration had disseminated "covert propaganda" in the United States, in violation of a statutory ban.

...

The Education Department said it had paid Ketchum $186,000 for services performed by Mr. Williams's company. But it could not provide transcripts of speeches, articles or records of other services invoiced by Mr. Williams, the report said.

Those responsible should be forced to pay restitution, particularly since Williams isn't returning the money. Perhaps through community service educating the victims of No Child Left Behind.

Reporters Committee to Protect Freedom of the Press to Bloggers: Drop Dead

The head of the Hacks' Special Pleading Club, chatting in the Washington Post's chatroom:

New York, N.Y.: This case raises many larger questions about journalistic shield laws. In an age of "blogs" and online reporting, should these laws extend to that type of publication? Who, precisely, is a "journalist"?

Lucy Dalglish [Fathead Director, RCPFP]: To quote Justice Potter Stewart, "I know a journalist when I see one."

Sorry for the flippant remark, but it's not that tough. I think there are many journalists who publish their work on the Internet, and they would be protected by the shield law that has been introduced in Congress.

There are several federl court cases out their (most notably the "Von Bulow" case) that, in general, journalists are people who collect news and information, do something to it editorially, and publish it to an audience. When deciding whether an Internet-based reporter is covered by the proposed shield law, a court will look to the frequency with which the person has been published. The current language talks about "periodicals" whether they are published in print or electronically. At the Reporters Committee, we frequently assist Internet-based journalists. (All typos in original)

As both regular readers of this site know, I enjoy bashing the "bloggers rule, Old Media sucks" assclownery of folks like F.M. "Jeff" Jarvis. Equally loathsome, however, is the idea that a privilege should be extended or withheld based on such standards as frequency of publication, whether one "does something to it editorially," or whether Lucy Dogleash "sees it."

Dogleash dodges, Scotty McLellan-style, the issue of whether bloggers would be entitled to the same protection as journalists under her fantasy law. But she makes a distinction between "journalists" and the unworthy sods who aren't entitled to her privilege. She also refers to "the frequency with which the person has been published," suggesting that self-publishers don't pass her cut. And she certainly doesn't say that bloggers are equally deserving of protection, which would be simple to type if that was her position.

Journalists, bloggers and the rest of this country's inhabitants should be in the same boat - either they are subject to subpoenas compelling their testimony under oath, or they aren't. After all, the Bill of Rights doesn't make any distinctions based on the identity of the speaker.

Miller's Out Post

At the certainty of blowing my own horn, I have to say that I predicted the New York Times' utterly dishonest spin on Judith F. Miller.

Here's what I said:

Perhaps J.F. Miller will claim her high-minded principle was that she couldn't go back and ask Libby for a waiver, because then her promise of confidentiality was something less than absolute.

Here's an op-ed from today's Times on Saint Jude:

Why, then, did she agree to testify yesterday? Could Ms. Miller have gotten the permission earlier? Why didn't she just pick up the phone and ask?

When a journalist guarantees confidentiality, it means that he or she is willing to go to jail rather than disclose the source's identity. We also believe it means that the journalist will not try to coerce the source into granting a waiver to that promise - even if her back is against the wall. If Ms. Miller's source had wanted to release her from her promise, he could have held a press conference and identified himself. And obviously, he could have picked up the phone. Ms. Miller believed - and we agree - that it was not her place to try to hound him into telling her that she did not need to keep her promise.

And here's what the Times reported:

Ms. Miller authorized her lawyers to seek further clarification from Mr. Libby's representatives in late August, after she had been in jail for more than a month.

Contacting a source to coerce a waiver: bad. Authorizing your lawyers to seek clarification of the granting a waiver: good.

And the angels dance away on Gail Collins' head.

Mr. Carroll is an object of national fascination in part because of his apparently pathological criminality, and in part because he represents a kind of Briton known as a chav. Chavs, whether rich or poor, tend to favor gaudy jewelry and expensive-but-tacky clothes with big logos and to behave in a way that others find coarse or obnoxious.

Male chavs wear tracksuits and baseball caps; female chavs pull their hair tightly back in buns or ponytails, a style known as a "council house facelift," from the term for public housing.

...

Chav behavior - outrageous spending sprees, drunken brawls, inappropriate public displays of affection, screaming matches with loved ones in bars, destruction of property, late-night stumbling and/or vomiting - provide celebrity magazines here with much of their material. Among British women, Coleen McLoughlin, the girlfriend of the soccer star Wayne Rooney, is seen as a celebrity chav.

Ms. McLoughlin - whose new house with Mr. Rooney reportedly includes its own spray-tanning booth - is rarely photographed without a variety of designer-store shopping bags and a thong showing above her pants....

Others in the greater chav universe are David and Victoria Beckham, who would hate to be considered chavs but who nonetheless wore matching purple outfits and sat on matching thrones at their wedding; and Jordan, a former topless model who recently traveled to her own wedding in a Cinderella-style carriage shaped like a pumpkin and pulled by six white horses.

It's good we don't have anything like this in the States.

During this season of treason, Scooter and the Boy Genius might want to cut their losses and see if they can get the Larry Franklin special.

A Defense Department analyst charged with passing government secrets to two employees of an influential pro-Israel lobbying group plans to plead guilty at a hearing next week, court officials announced yesterday.

Lawrence A. Franklin, 58, will enter his plea in U.S. District Court in Alexandria on Wednesday, the court said. Sources familiar with the case said Franklin is expected to plead guilty to conspiracy and possibly to other counts. He also is planning to resume his cooperation with prosecutors, they said.

...

Federal prosecutors declined to comment yesterday. Franklin's attorney, Plato Cacheris, said Franklin will appear in court Wednesday but declined to elaborate. "There will be some disposition,'' said Cacheris, who added that "the papers are not signed yet.''

The investigation has touched political and diplomatic hot buttons since it was publicly disclosed last year. Prosecutors say Franklin and the two former AIPAC employees, Steven J. Rosen and Keith Weissman, conspired to obtain and illegally pass on classified information to foreign officials and reporters over a five-year period.

Although no foreign government has been publicly named, U.S. government sources have identified Israel as the country at the center of the probe. The case has complicated relations between the United States and Israel, which are close allies, and angered many supporters of AIPAC, which is considered one of Washington's most influential lobbying organizations.

An Iran specialist, Franklin briefly cooperated with investigators in the summer of 2004 but has since stopped, his attorney has said. Franklin was first charged in May with disclosing classified information related to potential attacks on U.S. forces in Iraq. A subsequent indictment last month expanded the allegations to say that Franklin revealed national defense information to Rosen and Weissman.

Of course, Howie has no questions about the Administration's part in the tale.

Good boy, Howie.

Please Release Me, Let Me Go

According to people briefed in reality, the Miller's Tale in today's Times is a steaming pile of manure.

The discussions were at times strained, with Mr. Libby and Mr. Tate's [sic] asserting that they communicated their voluntary waiver to another lawyer for Ms. Miller, Floyd Abrams, more than year ago, according to those briefed on the case.

Other people involved in the case have said Ms. Miller did not understand that the waiver had been freely given and did not accept it until she had heard from Mr. Libby directly.

You can avoid incarceration -- or confirm your co-conspirator's source's true intention -- with a single phone call. What do you do?

Perhaps J.F. Miller will claim her high-minded principle was that she couldn't go back and ask Libby for a waiver, because then her promise of confidentiality was something less than absolute. (That is to say, meaningless.)

Oh, wait.

Ms. Miller authorized her lawyers to seek further clarification from Mr. Libby's representatives in late August, after she had been in jail for more than a month. Mr. Libby wrote to Ms. Miller in mid-September saying he believed that her lawyers understood during discussions last year that his waiver was voluntary.

One can only bear so many hip-hop videos and loads of prison laundry in service of the First Amendment.

So it comes down to this. It was all a big misunderstanding. Judy thought that that nice Scooter didn't want to take her to the dance, so she told her friend Floyd she wouldn't go with him anyway, even if he asked. And Scooter thought Judy was swell, so he just couldn't understand why Judy wouldn't want go with him. And each was too proud to approach the other, so they exchanged long, soulful glances in the hall for over a year, until Judy's other friend Billy approached Scooter's pal, Joey, and asked why Scooter was such a jerk. "Scooter's not the jerk -- Judy's the jerk, you big dope...."

And then they all went to the ice cream shoppe.

Except Floyd.

And felonies were committed and peoples' lives were ruined and many, many thousands of people died in the war that Judy and Scooter supported.

But our right to read fairy tales, like the one transcribed Messrs. Johnston and Jehl with no apparent shame, lives on.

Bait and Switch

Lefty bloggers are responsible for the elevation of hard-line reactionary Roy Blunt to the position of House Majority Leader. Who knew they were so powerful?

It's funny but it's not: Liberals whispered gleefully all morning yesterday about Dreier's squishiness -- and some outright screamed about it. What part of the Democratic agenda this was supposed to advance is unclear, as the group that stood to benefit the most rumors [sic] about Dreier were social conservatives. Who's to say if the background noise from the blogosphere helped the wingnut's [sic] successful campaign to bump Dreier -- a moderate on abortion, stem cells, and same-sex marriage -- for Missouri's Roy Blunt, to whom the Christian Coalition has given a 92 percent approval rating and who is a protege of noted gay rights advocate John Ashcroft. It certainly couldn't have hurt. Gaybaiting is an ugly way to win; it's an even uglier way to lose.

Murphy's Blog

Mike Murphy, the monkey in charge of Dennis Miller's CNBC abortion talk show, is back at the full-time job he never left, political consultant to Arnold Schwarzenegger. And he's blogging. Badly.

Today's topic? Thank you donors. A story: I was with a rich guy the other day who offered to give a million dollars to Arnold's reform campaign. I was a little too lost in the moment... thinking about Dr. Evil and the One Milllllllion Dollars phrase and all to really reflect on it at the time but I did have a quiet minute to think afterwards, and got all sappy and well, I just want to thank our donors. (No, you cynics, it is not because we consultants are making ton of money here. We are all working away on reform drone wages. Our political consultant union bosses would be shocked at our vig, believe me.)

Show us your 1099s, Mikey.

The guy with the million bucks didn't always had a million bucks. Once, he had nothing. But he hit the American Dream. He is giving
this reform campaign money -- and their are many others like him -- because he wants a better California. He doesn't want anything from the state or from you. He doesn't want to take your tax money and spend it on something that will him richer or more powerful. He doesn't want a special break or deal or something named after him. He just wants the next poor kid like him to go a decent school, learn something, and have the same shot at the top that he did. And he knows the system is broken, and when it is broken it is the people without much money who get hurt the worst. So he wants to give a million dollars to try to make things better.

So what's the guy's name? Mikey doesn't say.

It's not here, either.

Maybe Dennis Miller could donate some jokes to Murphy's blog. Or maybe he already has.

(Link via the new Speak Out California weblog.)

October Surprise

New York-based D.C. insiders Josh Marshall and Tiffany Midgeson are thinking alike.

Marshall:

House Majority Leader Indicted for Criminal Conspiracy.

Senate Majority Leader the target of an increasingly serious probe of potential insider trading.

Rumors of October Rove indictment in the Plame case.

Is this a problem yet?

Midgeson:

TRIFECTA ...

De Lay indicted. Frist under a cloud. What if something happens before the end of next month on Plame-gate? Hoo boy.

There's only one word for it: Rocktoberfest!

The Three Stooges

Roy Blunt of Missouri, David Dreier of California and Eric Cantor of Virginia are now fronting for the Bugchaser.

The front frontman is Roy Blunt:

The end result puts the House in the hands of Blunt - a 55-year-old Bible Belt conservative not unlike DeLay - rather than in those of a 53-year-old urban Californian who is a reliable conservative vote on economic issues but opposed banning same-sex marriages.

"Blunt is a standard partisan, more of a DeLay Jr. Dreier would have been a little bit daring for them, a little too thoughtful, too independent. ... It's not surprising they wouldn't quite want him to have the keys to the kingdom," said Jim Pinkerton, a former GOP White House aide who is now a fellow at the New America Foundation in Washington.

Smokin' Roy Blunt, of course, is the God-fearing family man who believes in the sanctity of marriage. As reported in the Columbia Daily Tribune:

In June 2002, the congressman announced that he and his wife, Roseann, were separating after 35 years of marriage. Sixteen months later, Blunt married Abigail Perlman, a lobbyist for the parent company of Philip Morris.

Blunt declined to talk about what led to his divorce, saying it was a personal matter and was "unfortunate."

Besides causing personal pain, the turmoil has taken a political toll. Last summer, The Washington Post reported that only hours after Blunt assumed the whip's job, he quietly tried to insert a provision benefiting Philip Morris into a bill creating a new Department of Homeland Security.

(Note to F.M. "Jeff" Jarvis: No matter how you try, that one wasn't the 9/11 Commission's fault either.)

Eric Cantor is the shill who tried, and failed, to enact the DeLay Rule. Blunt and Cantor are also friends of Abramoff.

Dreier, who was originally tapped for DeLay's position, lost out when radical right fundamentalists heard that he was a "friend of Powerline."

Hard to believe, but it's true:

I use to play a game in the 7th or 8th grade called the 7 degrees of Kevin Bacon .The object of this game was to link by association any one in the world to movie star Kevin Bacon in 7 steps or less .It was fun and simple to do.

Now I have become Kevin Bacon and some people are doing all they can to link me to what ever they can (many times fabricating it on computer as they go along.We used to call this cheating when I played the game).

Oh well, on with the game. I might as well play along now that I have a label who can I pass the title "racist hate site" on to ????????

This moron is a state legislator.

By the way, Stacey Campfield is 37, which means he was born in 1968 or 1969. The play Six Degrees of Separation, from which the name of the game is derived, is from 1990.

I'm not surprised that Campfield was in seventh or eighth grade at age 21. I am surprised he made it that far.

Update (9/29): General Christian and his commenters were already all over this before I spotted it.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Bugger All Edition

Justice catches up with the tiny Texan bugchaser:

"A Travis County grand jury today indicted U.S. House Majority Leader Tom DeLay on one count of criminal conspiracy, jeopardizing the Sugar Land Republican's leadership role as the second most powerful Texan in Washington, D.C.

"The charge, a state jail felony punishable by up to two years incarceration, stems from his role with his political committee, Texans for a Republican Majority, a now-defunct organization that already had been indicted on charges of illegally using corporate money during the 2002 legislative elections.

"...

"Delay's defense team will hold a press conference in Austin later this afternoon. The team includes defense attorneys Bill White and Steve Brittain of Austin and Dick DeGuerin of Houston."

Two years. It's a start. But let's fumigate the House first.

The Speed Driven Life

Remember that hour-long special on CNN about Rick Warren, whose book, The Purpose Driven Life, was credited as enabling Ashley Smith to convince the Atlanta courthouse killer to surrender? Will CNN now retract the story and give Smith's crank dealer an hour to promote his stimulant of the masses?

Ashley Smith, the woman who says she persuaded suspected courthouse gunman Brian Nichols to release her by talking about her faith, discloses in a new book that she gave him methamphetamine during the hostage ordeal.

...

In her book, "Unlikely Angel," released Tuesday, Smith says Nichols had her bound on her bed with masking tape and an extension cord. She says he asked for marijuana, but she did not have any, and she dug into her illegal stash of crystal meth.

I always wondered about that up at 2 a.m. to buy some smokes story.

Smith insists her ordeal was a miracle, with God giving her "one more chance." Modesty prevented Smith from saying that the killer's four victims didn't deserve another chance.

Heinie Licks Butt

Hindlicker "John" Assrocket once more demonstrates his special talent: Republican rimmer for the Bush Administration.

Unfortunately, I have a life and wasn't able to spend hours watching Brownie attempt to revise history. I do know -- and Hindlicker doesn't mention -- that Brown's appearance was before a panel of House Republicans since all but two Democrats avoided the sham hearing. (The two Democrats who appeared, from Mississippi and Lousiana, no doubt felt an obligation to confront Brownie on behalf of his victims.) So there were plenty of asses, but I doubt Brownie kicked any of them.

The clips I saw of Brown whining weren't too impressive either. Why do Republicans always play the victim card?

The Putz of Comedy

I'm already laughing:

The terrifyingly productive Howard Kurtz, "Reliable Sources" host for CNN and media maven at The Washington Post, is shopping a nearly finished satirical novel about the newsbiz, titled "Funny Is Money." Yesterday, Kurtz told me: "This is something I'm fooling around with in my spare time and we'll have to see what comes of it. The fun part is that people may recognize - or think they recognize - some major media figures." He added: "The great advantage of tackling a novel is that you don't have to bother with such annoying procedures as checking your facts."

Today at the site, firedoglake's Jane Hamsher takes on Dan Schorr, the latest eunuch-in-residence at the Temple of Saint Judy. Responding to Schorr's claim that Miller has been jailed for her principles, Jane states:

But I assume the "principle" Schorr is referring to is journalistic privilege. And to paint Judith Miller as some pure, willowy First Amendment martyr being broken on the wheel of a rigid justice department with no regard for civil rights can only be seriously entertained by those who are snapping bongloads with Curveball.

...

Further, Daniel, it wasn't just one judge who decided to send Judy to the slam. It was the decision of a three judge panel, and upheld without dissent by seven judges on the full federal appeals court in Washington. Since both Karl Rove and Scooter Libby have allegedly claimed that a reporter initially told them about Valerie Plame's identity, Fitzgerald is no doubt looking to find out what Judith Miller may have told them. What part of "journalistic privilege" allows reporters to refuse to answer questions about what they told other people? Please illuminate us, because enquiring minds want to know.

With contributions from Jane (and Harry Shearer), the Huffington Post may make it after all.

Meanwhile Bill Keller is still peddling the jumbo-sized mumbo:

At other papers, editors and reporters have detected greater hesitancy among some sources to disclose information. New York Times Executive Editor Bill Keller says he doesn't "think for a second this is going to be the death of anonymous source journalism." But several of his Washington reporters have noted signs of longtime sources becoming more anxious and more reluctant to speak freely on sensitive subjects. "At this point it's just anecdotal, but it's a worry," Keller says. "Some of it is just, 'I can't talk to you on the phone anymore,' and some of it is, 'I think I better lay low for a while.'"

As someone once said, the plural of anecdote is pile of crap.

Do The Math

Howie the Putz proudly polishes his diploma from the Donnie Luskin School of applied Innumeracy:

Excelsior Springs, Mo.: Hi Howard --

Yesterday CNN aired all through the afternoon that war supporters had 20,000 people show up for their rally. This was hours after the actual number of 400-500 people was reported by Associated Press and other news services including The Washington Post. At 3:40 p.m. eastern, Renae San Miguel said on CNN headline news -- "About 20,000 showed up in Washington today to voice support the Iraq war". This was a bold faced lie that mislead anyone watching. My question is how long can the media continue to do the right wings bidding before the nation realizes you are a mouthpiece for the administration?

Howard Kurtz: I think you're underestimating the difficulty of doing crowd estimates. The Post and other news outlets had the same problem at the antiwar demonstration the day before, when estimates like 100,000 and higher were floating around but the D.C. police chief refused to provide an official estimate.

Yes, it's hard to tell the difference between 400 people and 20,000. Almost as difficult as telling the difference between Kurtz and a journalist.

Gonzales Ruined Our Torture Party

Writing of Abu Gonazles, enabler for the Texan Torquemada, the Midget Kaus inadvertently spills the beans about his fellow reactionaries' thought processes:

The opposition to Gonzales among conservatives I know is not ideological. It is personal and almost visceral. They think he is a mediocrity and a whiny, gutless careerist! Also a classic overpromoted affirmative action hire.

How true. But then again, the instinctive conservative reaction to any person of color, regardless of that person's policy views, is that the person is an overpromoted affirmative action hire. The instinctive conservative reaction is always personal: only I -- and those who align themselves with me -- are worthy; everyone else is my enemy. And there's no room in their tiny minds for the thought that white men are responsible for Bush's miserable failures.

That is their reality; that is Kaus's reality.

Mickey Kaus, The New Milton Berle

Except much tinier.

Kaus, September 26:

P.S.: The joint Meet appearance by three NYT columnists seemed like a marketing gimmick. (Next they're going to be given away to audience members on Oprah!)

The Onion, September 21:

Oprah Stuns Audience With Free Man Giveaway

Comedy. It's just that easy.