Moonie Times Columnist Flogs Dildo, Gets Caught With Pants Down

You've got to love the one-track minds of the morons at the Moonie Times. On January 1, Times columnist John McCaslin reported that Ken Starr had not only endorsed, but also had fondled, a novelty dildo shaped like President Clinton:

Of course, care should be taken when using any massager, especially this one. Slick Willie is a toy, a novelty massager, and should be treated as such.

Who would buy such a toy?

Lobbyists and politicians alike, we're told, have purchased Slick Willie massagers to soothe their, um, political kinks.

"I wish he'd been this forthright and entertaining during the impeachment trial," says Kenneth W. Starr, former independent counsel, who's handled the "monument."

Apparently Starr called the paper to deny the phallus fingering, and McCaslin has beat a retreat, blaming unnamed "editors" for his own error:

Owing to an editing error, a statement made by "a former Starr prosecutor," as was originally written, was incorrectly attributed to Mr. Starr.

Open mouth, insert dildo.

McCaslin remains more dense than a slab of rubber, since the statement he refers to is a patently-obvious gag quote on the website of the company flogging the item. McCaslin doesn't explain how an editing error caused him to state that Starr has "handled the 'monument,'" since no such statement appears on the company's site.

But it's not about sex.