The Mitt Hits The Fan

Willard Romney, the man whose core beliefs consisted entirely of "I'm Mitt Romney, bitch" has pulled out of the Republican presidential race. Tiny prick that he is, we never realized he was in.

True to his character, Romney remained a shit to the bitter end:

"If I fight on in my campaign, all the way to the convention, I would forestall the launch of a national campaign and make it more likely that Senator Clinton or Obama would win. And in this time of war, I simply cannot let my campaign, be a part of aiding a surrender to terror," he said during the conference. Members of the audience shouted, "No!" as Mr. Romney spoke.