Monday, April 09, 2007

Conflict-of-Interest Kurtz Rides Again

Howard Kurtz can't be bothered with the Don Imus story. It's not in his column today, or his online "Extra" column. And it wasn't on his CNN media program, The Jonah Goldberg Show, this weekend. And somehow no one managed to mention Imus during Kurtz's weekly chat, in which Kurtz controls the questioning.

To be fair, Howie's all over the time-sensitive breaking news about Meredith Vieria.

A cynic might speculate that Howie's covering his own ass about his professional friendship with Imus and/or trying to ensure that his frequent appearances on the Imus show (most recently, March 19) don't stop coming.

A realist knows that's the case.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

The Ballad of Mitt Romney

(inspired by a true lie)

Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Mitt
Rich trustfundeer, and a Cranford School twit
He bought an M.B.A. from a second-rate b-school
Then Teddy kicked the ass of that lying wingnut tool
Patriarchist, he is -- old gold -- theocracy

Well Mitt will kiss your ass if you're a millionaire
But if you want the right to choose, the bastard just don't care
You're poor or gay or sick; to Mitt, you've got no right to be
He panders to the basest base that rules the G.O.P.
Dobson, that is -- Robertson -- Lopez

Well now it's time to say fuck off to Mitt and all his spin
'Cause here's how things are going down if Mitt should hap' to win:
You're all invited back again to eighteen fifty-three
To have a heaping helping of right-wing theocracy

(Banjo solo by Mike Huckabee)

Correction, Please

The New York Times continues its descent into sub-mediocrity:

Yesterday’s show also included an interview with Tim Russert, the host of NBC's "Meet the Press," one of a great number of political and media heavyweights who appear regularly on "Imus in the Morning." (The NBC spokeswoman said the statement expressing regret about the remarks reflected Mr. Russert's feelings about the matter as well.)

Both Senator Joseph I. Lieberman, Democrat of Connecticut, and Senator John McCain, Republican of Arizona, recently appeared on the show, and media figures including Frank Rich of The New York Times and Chris Matthews of MSNBC have also spent time with Mr. Imus. Senator Barack Obama, Democrat of Illinois, appeared on the show some time ago to promote his book "The Audacity of Hope."

A real journalist, and his editors, would know that Joe Lieberman is not a Democrat.

As to the point of the article, I think it's beyond the point where actual Democrats can justify their appearances on the Imus program. Yes, I'm talking to you, Senators Kerry and Dodd. As for Joe Lieberman and Tim Russert, I'm sure they feel right at home.

Drivin' That Train, High on Insane

The Straight Talk Choo-Choo has derailed yet again, spilling toxic chemicals and causing the evacuation of the tri-state area. And what does Casey McJones have to say for himself?

"Trust me to lie to you."

"Of course I am going to misspeak and I've done it on numerous occasions and I probably will do it in the future," says McCain. "I regret that when I divert attention to something I said from my message, but you know, that's just life," he tells Pelley, adding, "I'm happy, frankly, with the way I operate, otherwise it would be a lot less fun."

The topic, of course, is McCain's lie about life and death in Baghdad. As long as McCain had fun spouting off, well, that's all that matters.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Be Vewy, Vewy Qwiet, I'm Pandewing to Gun Nuts

Willard "Muff" Romney takes some more target practice with his toes:

His staff refused Friday to provide details about his hunting history, including whose gun he used, with whom he hunted and whether he hunted in Utah as a college student or as an adult. He does not own a firearm, despite claiming to earlier this year.

The former Massachusetts governor issued the statement Friday after The Associated Press asked wildlife officials in Michigan, Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Utah for any documentation verifying Romney had been a registered hunter.

...

Officials from Michigan, Massachusetts and New Hampshire, where a license is necessary to hunt such small game, said they could not immediately locate any license for Romney. An official in Utah said a change in state law last year blocked public access to license records.
Of the four states, Utah has the most liberal hunting regulations for small game. Jack rabbits can be hunted without a license and killed without limit, but cottontail rabbits and snowshoe hares require a license.

When he corrected his staff's statement during a news conference Thursday in Indianapolis, Romney said: "I've always been a rodent and rabbit hunter, small varmints, if you will." He added: "I began when I was 15 or so and I have hunted those kinds of varmints since then. More than two times."

Governor Fudd said he'd like to be able to give more details, but he's been bwainwashed.

Cracker, Please

When morning radio racist Don Imus made his latest bigoted comments, MSNBC just couldn't figure out how in the world his vile remarks found their way onto its channel.

While simulcast by MSNBC, 'Imus in the Morning' is not a production of the cable network and is produced by WFAN Radio. As Imus makes clear every day, his views are not those of MSNBC. We regret that his remarks were aired on MSNBC and apologize for these offensive comments."

Now we've gotten that settled, I guess MSNBC can fire these folks then:

IMUS IN THE MORNING

Credits for MSNBC

Tom Bowman
Executive Producer

Christy MacDonald
Producer

Rosanne Pilone
Associate Producer

Nope. No production there.

Oh, and pay no attention to the fact that the KKK-Man's show is broadcast from NBC television studios, or that MSNBC supplies all the technology and graphics for the program, or that NBC News "talent" and MSNBC staffers appear on the program every day. MSNBC's going to have those locks changed and make sure that Imus's photo is distributed to all security guards.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Manifestos To Watch Out For

John Hinderaker: I Am John Dolt

Jonah Goldberg: I Am Bob Dough

Mickey Kaus: I Am Dil Do

BREAKING NEWS: THOMPSON'S IN G.O.P. RACE

No, not Chris and Maggie's daddy-figure and yokel scene-chewer Fred Thompson. Tommy "Tommy" Thompson, former Wisconsin governor, has joined the ranks of his fellow losers, Duncan Hunter, Tom Tancredo, Ron Paul, Mike Huckabee and Willard "Muff" Romney, in the fight for five minutes of air time on basic cable.

During the "In Memorium" segement of ABC's This Week, Thompson's corpse said:

"Things are started to coalesce and I feel very, very optimistic about my future,"....

"I am the reliable conservative. My record shows that. All that people have to do is look at my record, and I am one individual that they can count on," Thompson said.

Thompson also revealed some of the planks in his head platform. First, he plans to order Iraq's puppet government to act democratic:

He would have "a completely different Iraq strategy" from the president's. Thompson said he would "demand" that the Iraqi government vote as to whether it wanted the U.S. to remain in the country. If the answer were yes, "it immediately gives a degree of legitimacy." If the answer were no, "We would get out, absolutely. It's a duly elected government."

Thompson also vowed to nominate cabinet members who would place loyalty to himself above all else:

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has made "terrible mistakes" in the handling of the fired federal prosecutors. "I would not have appointed Mr. Gonzales. I would have appointed somebody that was loyal to me," Thompson said.

Because Abu G. was running a rogue operation out of Justice, designed to bring down Bush and his administration.

In the most recent surveys, Thompson is polling at "who the fuck is that?" plus or minus five percent.

John McCain is right. The progress in Iraq is remarkable.

Straight Talk lives! For ever!

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Since we're on the subject, since C.J. is widely reported to be "anatomically correct," what do you think the sculptor used.

A Fudgsicle Pop? A Drumstick? A Jell-O Pudding Pop?

He is Reisen

So when do the wingnuts begin festooning their blogs with chocolate dongs and Swiss flags to denounce intolerance and defend artistic freedom?

I suspect the greatest offense was the artist's failure to use white chocolate.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Right-Hand Bag Man Edition

The Washington Post reveals how Republican sleazebag Bernie Kerik got the nod from Bush to head the Department of Homeland Security: Jeanine Pirro ordered Bush to hire him, in exchange for favors rendered.

In addition to charges involving false information and tax law, the U.S. attorney's office in New York City is also threatening to charge Kerik with conspiracy to commit illegal wiretapping in his dealings with the 2006 GOP candidate for New York attorney general, Jeanine F. Pirro, the sources said.

After Kerik left the Giuliani firm, Kerik arranged for two off-duty Giuliani firm employees to conduct surveillance on Pirro's husband. Pirro and Kerik also discussed bugging a boat where Pirro suspected her husband was having an extramarital affair. Kerik was heard on a wiretap telling Pirro that he did not want to do the bugging because it was illegal.

About a year earlier, Pirro, then the Westchester County district attorney, ordered the A&P supermarket chain to hire the Giuliani-Kerik security firm as part of a settlement agreement in a case involving underage alcohol sales. The security firm was ultimately paid $43,000, according to a knowledgeable source who spoke about the terms of the contract on the condition of anonymity.

I'm only surprised that Bush didn't tap Kerik to head the F.B.I., with those credentials.

But we now know that Guiliani isn't Bush's choice for his successor, since the U.S. attorneys in New York still have their jobs.

Meanwhile, TBogg has the funniest Kerik commentary ... ever.

Friday, March 30, 2007

I'm not a bit surprised that hairless troll doll Mark Levin would defend a pedophile and his followers, who murdered law enforcement agents and set fire to their own children without remorse.

I'm also not surprised that Levin would lie to do so.

That's just the kind of guy he is.

I'm not even surprised that National Review would happily publish Levin's slander.

Says Levin:

The same Democrats who defended Janet Reno when she ordered the torching of the Koresh compound resulting in the death scores of Americans, including children, defended her for over seven years in office.

I will be surprised if any wingnut challenges Levin on his deranged slander. But it would be refreshing to see such integrity.

Shorter A.A.

I don't need intoxicants to appear insane.

Abu Lied

D'Kyle Sampson doesn't know much and forgot most of that, but he does know that Abu Gonzales lied about his involvement in the purge of U.S. Attorneys who refused to do Karl Rove's dirty work.

But Sampson provided new detail of Gonzales's involvement, testifying in response to questioning that he had at least five discussions with his boss about the project after Gonzales first approved the idea in early 2005 and that the attorney general was aware which prosecutors were under consideration for dismissal.

"I don't think the attorney general's statement that he was not involved in any discussions of U.S. attorney removals was accurate," Sampson said. "I remember discussing with him this process of asking certain U.S. attorneys to resign."

Meanwhile, the White House admitted that the heads of the Department of Justice acted as Karl Rove's personal whores:

White House spokeswoman Dana Perino also sought to play down the testimony, saying that the administration has never ruled out the possibility that Rove passed complaints about Iglesias on to Gonzales.

...

Sampson said he was aware of repeated complaints about Iglesias by Domenici, who called Gonzales and McNulty four times from late 2005 to 2006. Another key factor was complaints from the White House that Iglesias -- who was invited to train other prosecutors at two Justice Department seminars on voter fraud -- had not been aggressive enough in carrying out voter-fraud investigations.

"I do remember learning from the attorney general that he had heard complaints from Karl Rove," Sampson said.

Rove rightly fears unbiased and independent criminal prosecutors. And testifying under oath.

And every other "loyal Bushie" should fear what Rove will do to him or her to protect his own ass.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Who Is Monica Goodling?

I can't be certain, but it seems the "senior counselor" to Abu Gonzales who invoked the Fifth is a law graduate of Pat Robertson's clown college, Regent University.

Perhaps she's confused the Fifth Amendment with the Eleventh Commandment.

Update (3:09 p.m.): Well, that was quick. Pat pulled the picture. I guess there is such a thing as bad publicity.

But rock 'n' roll never forgets.

Friends With Benefits

Another entry in the recurring series, "Why Politico.com Can't Be Taken Seriously." Here's Mike Allen transcribing the White House talking points regarding Abugate:

Sampson is not gunning for anybody, according to friends. He believes that the issue has blown up because the Justice Department had an inadequate system for preparing officials to testify before Congress, the friends say. The Justice Department officials testified that the firings were based on performance rather than politics, an assertion called into question by e-mails the department later delivered to Capitol Hill.

The friends say Sampson, 37, does not plan to deliver bombshells, and say that Democrats looking for plots and schemes will be disappointed. Like other Republicans, Sampson will contend there was no underlying sin, just a botched response.

"He is not personally of the opinion now, based on what he knows, that anybody at the Department of Justice did anything intentionally wrong," said a friend familiar with Sampson's thinking.

Sampson is testifying voluntarily, sparing the committee from having to decide whether to subpoena him. "He doesn't feel that he has anything to hide," the friend said. "He doesn't feel that there's any aspect of this story that he can't explain publicly. He's hoping to contribute what he knows in the hope that getting the truth out, as fully as it can be gotten out, will ultimately help calm the situation rather than aggravate it."

Ah, yes. The truest friends are those who stand by you while refusing to acknowledge that they're standing by you.

But why is Mike Allen transcribing these anonymous comments as if they're newsworthy? More importantly, why is Allen refusing to identify these friends and their interests in the matter? If Sampson has nothing to hide, why are he and Allen hiding the names of Sampson's friends?

Perhaps recognizing that no one will buy his tale of "friends," Allen adds the suggestion of religious persecution to his fable:

Sampson -- a Utah native and father of three whose wife is a fellow graduate of Brigham Young University -- is the bishop of his Northern Virginia ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He told BYU Magazine in 2003, when he was in the White House counsel's office, that he often got home just in time to read to the children before bed.

Why, no man of devout religious faith and limited familial devotion could lie to Congress. Just ask Jack Abramoff.

Allen tops himself, however, when gets to spinning for Abu G.

Republicans sympathetic to Gonzales, while not knowing what he will contend, say that one case he could make to indignant lawmakers would be that the problem lies in the difference between what he said and what he meant: When he told the Senate Judiciary Committee in January that he "would never, ever make a change in a United States attorney position for political reasons or if it would, in any way, jeopardize an ongoing serious investigation," what he meant was that he would never fire someone for improper political reasons or to influence a case.

The Republicans say the argument would be that he was guilty of sloppy language, of being too categorical and of saying things he hadn't thought through carefully enough.

Please, please, please make that argument, Alberto. Preferably under oath.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Grand Old Police Blotter: That'sa Greedy Greaseball Edition

This article provides a flashback to the conviction of minor hood in the Nation's largest criminal syndicate:

But since it first went on the air in 1999, "The Sopranos" has had a complicated relationship with the Garden State. While many residents feel a sense of pride in the series, others, especially politicians, have complained that it plays to ugly stereotypes about Italians as thuggish criminals.

In 2000, James W. Treffinger, who was then the Essex County executive, banned the series from shooting there, saying it “stereotypes an ethnic group.” (Mr. Treffinger was later sentenced to 13 months in prison after being convicted of corruption.)

Who is Don Treffinger?

Mr. Treffinger, once a leading Republican politician in the state, was convicted on corruption charges growing out of his efforts to use his county post to propel himself to higher office.

But, wait, there's more!

James W. Treffinger, left, the former Essex County executive, his former campaign committee and a campaign staff member have agreed to pay $171,000 to settle an investigation by the Federal Election Commission, the commission announced yesterday. In May 2003, Mr. Treffinger pleaded guilty to corruption charges in Federal District Court on an unrelated matter. The election commission said Mr. Treffinger improperly used campaign funds to pay his legal fees. After negotiations with the commission, Mr. Treffinger, the staff member and the committee admitted accepting excessive contributions, the commission said.

Sounds like S.O.P. in the G.O.P. Wasn't Fredo DeLay doing something similar?

With the Republican Party it's not a stereotype, it's a platform.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Screw that fake Hillary ad -- This is the real Bonzai Kitten!

Jonah and The Wail

Leave it to the Doughy Pantload to blame his failings on a little girl. After Tim Noah of Slate picked up on Goldberg's years of delays in publishing his first romance, Liberal Fascism: The Summer of My German Soldier, Goldberg posted this snippy retort:

But I will say this. He has absolutely no idea what he's talking about, which he basically admits. His assertion that the book's delayed for marketing reasons would be a flat-out lie if it weren't flat-out conjecture. As my wife, various friends and colleagues and sundry others can attest, the book is delayed because it's not done yet. The reasons for that have to do with any number of things (revisions, work distractions, my father's death, the birth of my child, etc etc) and, as far as I'm aware, marketing isn't even on the top ten. Noah, who hasn't read it, is invested in a theory and simply imagines facts to substantiate his usual sneering schtick.

After admitting that the book has been delayed because his earlier drafts were unpublishable dreck (requiring "revisions"), Goldberg uses his own child to excuse his dilatory ways. Only problem is, the blameless offspring was born months before Goldberg announced his intention to write the book. So the birth can't account for the years of delay identified by Goldberg's tormentors.

Of course, Goldberg also promised back in 2003 that "It'll be a big book." It's now a slim 272 pages, although for National Review Online readers, a book of stamps is a weighty tome.

In his response to Noah, Goldberg also simpers that his book "isn't what the Amazon description says." But the description of the book's contents on Amazon came verbatim from the publisher -- and is credited as such on other sites. So Goldberg's calling his own publisher a liar. I guess calling a Pantload publication "[i]mpeccably researched and persuasively argued" was too much even for Jonah's shovel to carry.

By the way, isn't knowingly using a false description of a product to sell merchandise, uh, what's the word I'm looking for ... oh, yeah ... fraud?

Look, I don't care if Goldberg or his ghost ever finish the book. The point is that Goldberg and his publisher represented the book would be out in 2005 and 2006 and etc., and solicited the advanced sale of copies based on those representations. If Goldberg lacks the competence or capacity to fulfill promises he made voluntarily, then he shouldn't bitch when people point out those facts.

Pull The Plug

I defy even Senator Doctor Frist to view this video and find evidence of brain activity.

And it also seems the proprietor of that site has the same problem with the concept of exclusivity as the Depends Media crowd.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Well, I don't hate my parents
I don't get drunk just to spite them
I've got my own reasons to drink now
Think I'll call my dad up and invite him.

I can sleep in till noon anytime I want
Though there's not many days that I do
Gotta get up and take on that world
When you're an adult
It's no cliche it's the truth.

I remember when using one of those seven-day pill dispensers was the step over the edge of the cliff.

I can't take any more illicit drugs
I can't afford any artificial joy
I'd sure look like a fool dead in a ditch somewhere
With a mind full of chemicals
Like some cheese-eating high school boy.

This song used to crack me up.

Sometimes my head hurts and sometimes my stomach hurts
And I guess it won't be long
Till I'm sitting in a room with a bunch of people whose necks and backs are aching
Whose sight and hearing's failing
Who just can't seem to get it up.

Well, at least I don't have a pill splitter.

Yet.

'Cause I'm an adult now
I'm an adult now
I've got the problems of an adult
On my head and on my shoulders
I'm an adult now.

Bloody. Hell.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Doughy D.O.A.

It's taking longer than expected for Jonah Goldberg's ghostwriter to finish his long awaited worstseller, I Heart Hitler: Without You, Adolf, I'm Nothing. Back in 2003, the Pantload's publisher was promising a 2005 release date. As 2005 passed, Goldberg promised a March 2007 release date, and then a September 11, 2007 (!) release date.

The dupes at Doubleday are now announcing a December 26, 2007 release date which, no doubt, will roll over to a 2008 date by the end of Spring.

Or maybe not. I searched the Doubleday website and could find nothing on Lucianne Jnr.'s manfesto. A page at the website of Doubleday's parent, Random House, refers to Goldberg and has a picture of the book's cover, but has no information about the Pantload's volume. And the Pantload's not one of the ten Goldbergs on the publisher's author roster.

At a promised 272 pages, this means that Goldberg hasn't managed to complete even a fifth of a page per day. Factoring in the huge margins, large type, bogus endnotes and eight to sixteen pages of red and black Crayola illustrations, it's probably closer to less than a tenth of a page. Of course, Goldberg's churned out much more than 272 pages worth of Corner Crap over the past four years (and that's not including his syndicated column and BSG slash fiction). So he's got no excuse for delivering his book 2 and 1/2 years late.

Either the publisher is refusing to publish Goldberg's steaming pile as written or Goldberg couldn't come up with enough examples of liberal fascism to fill a large pamphlet. Or both.

Meanwhile, it's appropriate that the current release date is the date known for returning unwanted crap in exchange for cash or store credit. And the start of Kwanzaa.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Sorry for the lack of posts. Under the weather.

Laughter is the best medicine without a 30 dollar co-pay, so, build up your immunities with these healing gems from Marty "The Wedding Singer" Peretz:

What we have to learn from others is how to flee greed, and how to flee greed in a way that does not sabotage the expansiveness of peoples' lives. Imagine a family of four living on $20,000 a year. The United States could do with a new immersion in egalitarianism. This is still said to be an animating idea of contemporary liberalism. But it's not at all clear to me how much this idea really does animate liberalism's high priests and priestesses, especially those from Hollywood.

And:

Secondly, if Fitzgerald was persuaded that Libby had in fact leaked Plame's identity, why didn't he, in fact, take Libby to the grand jury and charge him with violating the secrecy provisions of the law? There are several reasons. One is that the applicability of those provisions are dubious. The second is that Plame seems to have led a rather public "secret" life, flashy, suggestive and also silly. Anyone one who outed Plame was outing a known character. And, then, there is the probity of Plame pushing her own husband--a low-level diplomat with no significant past and, even then, no promising future--for an intelligence and security task for which he had no qualifications. Yes, the ex-ambassador may have been quite known in Niger. And that is only one reason why he was so very wrong for the job at hand. Do you send a show-boater to dig for the movement of nuclear material? Is this not shameful? Is this not what we call nepotism, high-stakes nepotism?