Manifestos To Watch Out For
John Hinderaker: I Am John Dolt
Jonah Goldberg: I Am Bob Dough
Mickey Kaus: I Am Dil Do
John Hinderaker: I Am John Dolt
Jonah Goldberg: I Am Bob Dough
Mickey Kaus: I Am Dil Do
No, not Chris and Maggie's daddy-figure and yokel scene-chewer Fred Thompson. Tommy "Tommy" Thompson, former Wisconsin governor, has joined the ranks of his fellow losers, Duncan Hunter, Tom Tancredo, Ron Paul, Mike Huckabee and Willard "Muff" Romney, in the fight for five minutes of air time on basic cable.
During the "In Memorium" segement of ABC's This Week, Thompson's corpse said:
"Things are started to coalesce and I feel very, very optimistic about my future,"....
"I am the reliable conservative. My record shows that. All that people have to do is look at my record, and I am one individual that they can count on," Thompson said.
Thompson also revealed some of the planks in his
head platform. First, he plans to order Iraq's puppet government to act democratic:
He would have "a completely different Iraq strategy" from the president's. Thompson said he would "demand" that the Iraqi government vote as to whether it wanted the U.S. to remain in the country. If the answer were yes, "it immediately gives a degree of legitimacy." If the answer were no, "We would get out, absolutely. It's a duly elected government."
Thompson also vowed to nominate cabinet members who would place loyalty to himself above all else:
Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has made "terrible mistakes" in the handling of the fired federal prosecutors. "I would not have appointed Mr. Gonzales. I would have appointed somebody that was loyal to me," Thompson said.
Because Abu G. was running a rogue operation out of Justice, designed to bring down Bush and his administration.
In the most recent surveys, Thompson is polling at "who the fuck is that?" plus or minus five percent.
The Washington Post reveals how Republican sleazebag Bernie Kerik got the nod from Bush to head the Department of Homeland Security: Jeanine Pirro ordered Bush to hire him, in exchange for favors rendered.
In addition to charges involving false information and tax law, the U.S. attorney's office in New York City is also threatening to charge Kerik with conspiracy to commit illegal wiretapping in his dealings with the 2006 GOP candidate for New York attorney general, Jeanine F. Pirro, the sources said.
After Kerik left the Giuliani firm, Kerik arranged for two off-duty Giuliani firm employees to conduct surveillance on Pirro's husband. Pirro and Kerik also discussed bugging a boat where Pirro suspected her husband was having an extramarital affair. Kerik was heard on a wiretap telling Pirro that he did not want to do the bugging because it was illegal.
About a year earlier, Pirro, then the Westchester County district attorney, ordered the A&P supermarket chain to hire the Giuliani-Kerik security firm as part of a settlement agreement in a case involving underage alcohol sales. The security firm was ultimately paid $43,000, according to a knowledgeable source who spoke about the terms of the contract on the condition of anonymity.
I'm only surprised that Bush didn't tap Kerik to head the F.B.I., with those credentials.
But we now know that Guiliani isn't Bush's choice for his successor, since the U.S. attorneys in New York still have their jobs.
Meanwhile, TBogg has the funniest Kerik commentary ... ever.
The same Democrats who defended Janet Reno when she ordered the torching of the Koresh compound resulting in the death scores of Americans, including children, defended her for over seven years in office.
I will be surprised if any wingnut challenges Levin on his deranged slander. But it would be refreshing to see such integrity.
D'Kyle Sampson doesn't know much and forgot most of that, but he does know that Abu Gonzales lied about his involvement in the purge of U.S. Attorneys who refused to do Karl Rove's dirty work.
But Sampson provided new detail of Gonzales's involvement, testifying in response to questioning that he had at least five discussions with his boss about the project after Gonzales first approved the idea in early 2005 and that the attorney general was aware which prosecutors were under consideration for dismissal.
"I don't think the attorney general's statement that he was not involved in any discussions of U.S. attorney removals was accurate," Sampson said. "I remember discussing with him this process of asking certain U.S. attorneys to resign."
Meanwhile, the White House admitted that the heads of the Department of Justice acted as Karl Rove's personal whores:
White House spokeswoman Dana Perino also sought to play down the testimony, saying that the administration has never ruled out the possibility that Rove passed complaints about Iglesias on to Gonzales.
Sampson said he was aware of repeated complaints about Iglesias by Domenici, who called Gonzales and McNulty four times from late 2005 to 2006. Another key factor was complaints from the White House that Iglesias -- who was invited to train other prosecutors at two Justice Department seminars on voter fraud -- had not been aggressive enough in carrying out voter-fraud investigations.
"I do remember learning from the attorney general that he had heard complaints from Karl Rove," Sampson said.
Rove rightly fears unbiased and independent criminal prosecutors. And testifying under oath.
And every other "loyal Bushie" should fear what Rove will do to him or her to protect his own ass.
Perhaps she's confused the Fifth Amendment with the Eleventh Commandment.
Update (3:09 p.m.): Well, that was quick. Pat pulled the picture. I guess there is such a thing as bad publicity.
But rock 'n' roll never forgets.
Another entry in the recurring series, "Why Politico.com Can't Be Taken Seriously." Here's Mike Allen transcribing the White House talking points regarding Abugate:
Sampson is not gunning for anybody, according to friends. He believes that the issue has blown up because the Justice Department had an inadequate system for preparing officials to testify before Congress, the friends say. The Justice Department officials testified that the firings were based on performance rather than politics, an assertion called into question by e-mails the department later delivered to Capitol Hill.
The friends say Sampson, 37, does not plan to deliver bombshells, and say that Democrats looking for plots and schemes will be disappointed. Like other Republicans, Sampson will contend there was no underlying sin, just a botched response.
"He is not personally of the opinion now, based on what he knows, that anybody at the Department of Justice did anything intentionally wrong," said a friend familiar with Sampson's thinking.
Sampson is testifying voluntarily, sparing the committee from having to decide whether to subpoena him. "He doesn't feel that he has anything to hide," the friend said. "He doesn't feel that there's any aspect of this story that he can't explain publicly. He's hoping to contribute what he knows in the hope that getting the truth out, as fully as it can be gotten out, will ultimately help calm the situation rather than aggravate it."
Ah, yes. The truest friends are those who stand by you while refusing to acknowledge that they're standing by you.
But why is Mike Allen transcribing these anonymous comments as if they're newsworthy? More importantly, why is Allen refusing to identify these friends and their interests in the matter? If Sampson has nothing to hide, why are he and Allen hiding the names of Sampson's friends?
Perhaps recognizing that no one will buy his tale of "friends," Allen adds the suggestion of religious persecution to his fable:
Sampson -- a Utah native and father of three whose wife is a fellow graduate of Brigham Young University -- is the bishop of his Northern Virginia ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He told BYU Magazine in 2003, when he was in the White House counsel's office, that he often got home just in time to read to the children before bed.
Why, no man of devout religious faith and limited familial devotion could lie to Congress. Just ask Jack Abramoff.
Allen tops himself, however, when gets to spinning for Abu G.
Republicans sympathetic to Gonzales, while not knowing what he will contend, say that one case he could make to indignant lawmakers would be that the problem lies in the difference between what he said and what he meant: When he told the Senate Judiciary Committee in January that he "would never, ever make a change in a United States attorney position for political reasons or if it would, in any way, jeopardize an ongoing serious investigation," what he meant was that he would never fire someone for improper political reasons or to influence a case.
The Republicans say the argument would be that he was guilty of sloppy language, of being too categorical and of saying things he hadn't thought through carefully enough.
Please, please, please make that argument, Alberto. Preferably under oath.
But since it first went on the air in 1999, "The Sopranos" has had a complicated relationship with the Garden State. While many residents feel a sense of pride in the series, others, especially politicians, have complained that it plays to ugly stereotypes about Italians as thuggish criminals.
In 2000, James W. Treffinger, who was then the Essex County executive, banned the series from shooting there, saying it “stereotypes an ethnic group.” (Mr. Treffinger was later sentenced to 13 months in prison after being convicted of corruption.)
Who is Don Treffinger?
Mr. Treffinger, once a leading Republican politician in the state, was convicted on corruption charges growing out of his efforts to use his county post to propel himself to higher office.
But, wait, there's more!
James W. Treffinger, left, the former Essex County executive, his former campaign committee and a campaign staff member have agreed to pay $171,000 to settle an investigation by the Federal Election Commission, the commission announced yesterday. In May 2003, Mr. Treffinger pleaded guilty to corruption charges in Federal District Court on an unrelated matter. The election commission said Mr. Treffinger improperly used campaign funds to pay his legal fees. After negotiations with the commission, Mr. Treffinger, the staff member and the committee admitted accepting excessive contributions, the commission said.
Sounds like S.O.P. in the G.O.P. Wasn't Fredo DeLay doing something similar?
With the Republican Party it's not a stereotype, it's a platform.
Leave it to the Doughy Pantload to blame his failings on a little girl. After Tim Noah of Slate picked up on Goldberg's years of delays in publishing his first romance, Liberal Fascism: The Summer of My German Soldier, Goldberg posted this snippy retort:
But I will say this. He has absolutely no idea what he's talking about, which he basically admits. His assertion that the book's delayed for marketing reasons would be a flat-out lie if it weren't flat-out conjecture. As my wife, various friends and colleagues and sundry others can attest, the book is delayed because it's not done yet. The reasons for that have to do with any number of things (revisions, work distractions, my father's death, the birth of my child, etc etc) and, as far as I'm aware, marketing isn't even on the top ten. Noah, who hasn't read it, is invested in a theory and simply imagines facts to substantiate his usual sneering schtick.
After admitting that the book has been delayed because his earlier drafts were unpublishable dreck (requiring "revisions"), Goldberg uses his own child to excuse his dilatory ways. Only problem is, the blameless offspring was born months before Goldberg announced his intention to write the book. So the birth can't account for the years of delay identified by Goldberg's tormentors.
Of course, Goldberg also promised back in 2003 that "It'll be a big book." It's now a slim 272 pages, although for National Review Online readers, a book of stamps is a weighty tome.
In his response to Noah, Goldberg also simpers that his book "isn't what the Amazon description says." But the description of the book's contents on Amazon came verbatim from the publisher -- and is credited as such on other sites. So Goldberg's calling his own publisher a liar. I guess calling a Pantload publication "[i]mpeccably researched and persuasively argued" was too much even for Jonah's shovel to carry.
By the way, isn't knowingly using a false description of a product to sell merchandise, uh, what's the word I'm looking for ... oh, yeah ... fraud?
Look, I don't care if Goldberg or his ghost ever finish the book. The point is that Goldberg and his publisher represented the book would be out in 2005 and 2006 and etc., and solicited the advanced sale of copies based on those representations. If Goldberg lacks the competence or capacity to fulfill promises he made voluntarily, then he shouldn't bitch when people point out those facts.
I remember when using one of those seven-day pill dispensers was the step over the edge of the cliff.
This song used to crack me up.
Well, at least I don't have a pill splitter.
It's taking longer than expected for Jonah Goldberg's ghostwriter to finish his long awaited worstseller, I Heart Hitler: Without You, Adolf, I'm Nothing. Back in 2003, the Pantload's publisher was promising a 2005 release date. As 2005 passed, Goldberg promised a March 2007 release date, and then a September 11, 2007 (!) release date.
The dupes at Doubleday are now announcing a December 26, 2007 release date which, no doubt, will roll over to a 2008 date by the end of Spring.
Or maybe not. I searched the Doubleday website and could find nothing on Lucianne Jnr.'s manfesto. A page at the website of Doubleday's parent, Random House, refers to Goldberg and has a picture of the book's cover, but has no information about the Pantload's volume. And the Pantload's not one of the ten Goldbergs on the publisher's author roster.
At a promised 272 pages, this means that Goldberg hasn't managed to complete even a fifth of a page per day. Factoring in the huge margins, large type, bogus endnotes and eight to sixteen pages of red and black Crayola illustrations, it's probably closer to less than a tenth of a page. Of course, Goldberg's churned out much more than 272 pages worth of Corner Crap over the past four years (and that's not including his syndicated column and BSG slash fiction). So he's got no excuse for delivering his book 2 and 1/2 years late.
Either the publisher is refusing to publish Goldberg's steaming pile as written or Goldberg couldn't come up with enough examples of liberal fascism to fill a large pamphlet. Or both.
Meanwhile, it's appropriate that the current release date is the date known for returning unwanted crap in exchange for cash or store credit. And the start of Kwanzaa.
What we have to learn from others is how to flee greed, and how to flee greed in a way that does not sabotage the expansiveness of peoples' lives. Imagine a family of four living on $20,000 a year. The United States could do with a new immersion in egalitarianism. This is still said to be an animating idea of contemporary liberalism. But it's not at all clear to me how much this idea really does animate liberalism's high priests and priestesses, especially those from Hollywood.
Secondly, if Fitzgerald was persuaded that Libby had in fact leaked Plame's identity, why didn't he, in fact, take Libby to the grand jury and charge him with violating the secrecy provisions of the law? There are several reasons. One is that the applicability of those provisions are dubious. The second is that Plame seems to have led a rather public "secret" life, flashy, suggestive and also silly. Anyone one who outed Plame was outing a known character. And, then, there is the probity of Plame pushing her own husband--a low-level diplomat with no significant past and, even then, no promising future--for an intelligence and security task for which he had no qualifications. Yes, the ex-ambassador may have been quite known in Niger. And that is only one reason why he was so very wrong for the job at hand. Do you send a show-boater to dig for the movement of nuclear material? Is this not shameful? Is this not what we call nepotism, high-stakes nepotism?
Did Newt Gingrich appear on James Dobson's Sex Talk to lay the groundwork for a run for President, as some suspect, or was he just pimping his new audio release, Where I Left My D.N.A. In D.C.?
"Rediscovering God In America" takes listeners on a tour of historic American monuments, sights, and documents in Washington D.C.. From the White House to the Capitol to the Constitution, Newt Gingrich and his wife Callista explore America's past from their unique conservative and Christian viewpoints. Because of recent legal challenges to references of God in American government, AKA the conflict for separation of church and state [wtf? -R.A.], the Gingriches wrote this book as a "rebuttal to those who seek to write God out of American history." Through the country's relics, they claim, we can re-discover "our history as a nation under God." With what might seem like a normal sightseeing trip through our nation's capital, the audiobook aims to transcend it into something higher - a "profound...journey of discovery and renewal," touching the spritual as well as the historic.
I'd personally like to see Newt run for the Oval O., so I'll offer him a campaign slogan with historic echoes -- "Two Adulterers For The Price of One."
"If my boss was maniacally obsessed about a subject I'd never heard of before, I couldn't possibly be expected to remember where I'd heard about it, but, man, if anyone ever gave me head...."
And who could ever believe that Ari Fleischer would lie?
From The Smoking Gun:
MARCH 7 -- Federal prosecutors want to gag an indicted former Washington, D.C. madam who has recently threatened to go public with details about her former customers. In a motion filed Monday in U.S. District Court, investigators are seeking a protective order covering discovery material to be provided to Deborah Palfrey and her lawyers. Palfrey, 50, was indicted last week on racketeering and money laundering charges stemming from her operation of the Pamela Martin & Associates escort service, which closed last summer after 13 years in business. In their motion, a copy of which you'll find below, government lawyers claim that some discovery documents contain "personal information" about Palfrey's former johns and prostitutes that is "sensitive." The prosecution filing does not detail the nature of this confidential information, though the identity of Palfrey's D.C. customers would surely be cloaked if the protective order was signed by Judge Gladys Kessler. According to the prosecution motion, while Palfrey and her lawyers would be able to use the discovery material to help prepare a defense, they would not be allowed to disclose the documents to anyone else (nor use the material for any other purposes). Palfrey, whose assets were frozen late last year, has recently floated the idea of selling her escort business's phone records. She has also "made statements that could be considered veiled threats to cause embarrassment to former customers and employees," according to the motion. In connection with an asset forfeiture action, Palfrey has sought to depose political consultant Dick Morris, who she has identified as a former escort service client.If you want to serve that depo subpoena, Deb, just book a spot on the National Review Cruise. You'll find him in the ship's salon, getting pedicures with Kate O'Beirne.
Tiffany Midgeson has created a new standard for the application of criminal sanction:
I'm not a lawyer, so I have no idea what the odds are of any appeal by Libby being successful. But here's what I do know for a fact.
I know that nothing Scooter Libby did led to the publication of the name of CIA official Valerie Plame Wilson in Robert Novak's column - the event that began this legal fiasco.
I know that Scooter Libby, who is an old friend of mine, is suffering today. I know his wife, Harriet, is suffering. I know his children are in torment. And it breaks my heart.
Because if a criminal suffers when he's convicted of a crime, the crime didn't happen. And the immediate family deserve a veto on conviction, or at least the right to make a criminal impact statement, as it were.
These sentiments make sense coming from a man like Poddy, whose first and only accomplishment occurred that night, many years ago, when Norm and Midge got plastered, cried like babies and then did their duty for posterity. (And they weren't even psychic!) If you can't use your family to carry your worthless ass throughout your life, then what good are they?
While the rest of the Scooter Libby Fan Club is getting all the ink they want to spin their fables, Marty Peretz, who is a Founding Father of the Libby Legal Defense Trust, has remained silent as the grave. And it's not because his dictaphone is broken. Perhaps Marty is a shrewd investor after all.
In a touching bit of media incest, former NBC content provider and MSNBC regular Lawrence O'Donnell tells us that "Russert Convicted Libby."
Not in this reality.
Russert didn't convict Libby. Libby convicted Libby by telling a series of deliberate lies, under oath, in which Tim Russert made a guest appearance.
Patrick Fitzgerald presented the facts to the jury, with remarkable skill. But Libby convicted himself.
Russert wasn't even a credible witness in general, as Libby's attorneys were able to show. Perhaps that's why Libby chose Russert for a starring role in his perjured testimony. But the defense couldn't show that Russert lied about Libby, because there was no evidence he did.
Pumpkinhead's testimony was simply consistent with the other testimony and documentary evidence, so Libby convicted himself whether or not Pumpkinhead was believed by the jury. The uncontradicted evidence showed that Libby knew everything he claimed he learned from Russert before calling Russert, so whether Scooter and Fat Tim talked Plame was irrelevant.
I generally like O'Donnell, so I'll chalk this up to an early and ongoing St. Patrick's Day celebration between Larry and Chris Matthews.
The criminal apologists at National Review Online are working themselves into a frenzy, each trying to out-stupid the last. It's a thing of beauty.
While the lemon-puss cry-babyism of hairless troll doll Mark Levin is the most heartwarming, I'm giving best in show to historian Cliff May, for this gem:
Over the weekend, I talked with a former federal prosecutor. I said to him: "If Libby were going to lie, surely it would not be about a conversation with Tim Russert. Tim Russert is too famous and too credible. People would believe him, rather than Libby. Libby is smart enough to know that. So if Libby were going to invent a conversation, surely it would be a conversation with someone else -- almost anyone else. It makes no sense that Libby would lie about a conversation with Tim Russert and think he'd be believed and Russert would be disbelieved."
The former prosecutor replied: "Libby's lawyers would have better off making that argument than the arguments they did make."
Bolstering the credibility of the man whose testimony proves the prosecution's case -- it's an ingenious strategy alright. I bet Cliff also mused to his (mostly likely pretend) prosecutor pal that he couldn't understand why Libby didn't call Franklin Delano Roosevelt as a character witness.
You really owe it to yourself to visit The Corner, to witness the 500-Year Dumbassery.
There's only one thing missing from this little puffer on the deep personal toll the Libby verdict might conceivably take on Dicky-Ticker Dick:
On a personal level, friends of the vice president say the trial has been deeply painful for him. Mr. Libby and Mr. Cheney were all but inseparable -- Ms. Matalin has called the former aide "Cheney's Cheney" -- and often started their days by riding to work together. Mr. Libby accompanied the vice president almost everywhere he went, and Mr. Cheney made clear his high professional and personal regard for his aide, even playing host to a book party for him in 2002 at his official residence. Alan K. Simpson, a Republican former senator from Mr. Cheney's home state, Wyoming, said he saw Mr. Cheney over Christmas and asked how he was doing. He took the answer as a kind of oblique reference to the Libby case.
"He said, 'I'm fine, I'm O.K., I have people I trust around me — it's the same old stuff, Al,' " Mr. Simpson recalled.
Another friend of Mr. Cheney's, Vin Weber, a Republican former congressman, said the verdict had "got to be heartbreaking for the vice president." But Mr. Weber said he wished Mr. Cheney would explain himself.
"I don't think he has to do a long apologia," Mr. Weber said, "but I think he should say something, just to pierce the boil a little bit."
Missing is the fact that Simpson and Matalin are thick as thieves with the Scooter Libby Defense Fund. Knowing that little fact might put their fables in a whole new light.
Male-patterned male escort Mickey Kaus leaps to the defense of his fellow hater, Ann Coulter:
What do I think of Coulter's comment? I think a) she obviously wasn't saying John Edwards is gay; b) she equally obviously doesn't think Edwards is gay; c) she picked the word "f-----" because she wanted to make a joke about what that Grey's Anatomy star said that resulted in him going into rehab; d) hard as it is to believe, it seems as if she doesn't realize how offensive that word is to people -- she thinks it's a very strong, non-boring word that basically means someone with the effeminate traits stereotypically associated with homosexuals; e) it's worse than that, a toxic word that shouldn't have been used even in a joke--or anyway in that joke; f) she's not, in fact, a homophobe. She's not even really what Mike Kinsley would call a "closet tolerant" because I don't think she's in the closet about it. It's worth noting what she did not say in response to Nagourney, which is any suggestion that gays are sinners going to hell, etc.--i.e. what the stereotypical liberal would expect the stereotypical Christian conservative to say ...
Of course, this is all bullshit and Kaus knows it.
Whether Coulter thinks Senator Edwards is a "faggot" is irrelevant. She thinks gay men are legitimate targets for hate and ridicule, and chose the word because she knows exactly how much her audience of haters -- Kaus included -- despise gay men. It doesn't matter if Coulter thinks gay men are sinners, or lesser human beings, or simply an easy target for verbal abuse in front of a crowd that believes the first two. It's bigotry all the same.
And Kaus, whose archives are littered with his weasel-worded opinions about how it's entirely reasonable to be repulsed by homos, whole-heartedly endorses it.
Years ago, I read a book by Erving Goffman called The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life. As intriguing as its title, the book actually did a microsociological analysis of the deployment of different personalities and affects for different circumstances and needs. Well, Hillary Clinton is a case in extremis of the phenomenon. Hillary is the greatest makeover artist of the era. Her hair, her face, her names, her beliefs. And now, courtesy of Powerline, you can hear how she's made here [sic] voice over... or voice-over.
And Bob Somerby highlights another meeting.
Things are getting tough on the wingnut welfare rolls. Listen to Mister Ed's tale of woe, camping out CPAC in a rent-by-the-hour fleabag:
I got back this afternoon from my CPAC adventure, tired out and glad to be home, but happy with the weekend's work. I'll be grateful for my own bed after the rather unpleasant stay I had at the Washington Plaza Hotel in DC.
The place looks like a million bucks from the outside on Thomas Circle, but it looks like $1.50 on the inside. It has unique balconies that are shared for the entire floor, which means anyone can wander by your room. The balcony door only has a normal doorknob (the main room entrance is from the interior hallway), and mine fell off in my hand the first night I arrived. I asked twice the next morning for them to fix it, but when I got back to my room the next night, it was still broken. After listening to a bunch of foul-mouthed, loud lunatics on the balcony until 1 am, I got about four hours of sleep. I went down to the desk the next morning, this time with the doorknob in hand, and told them I expected to get a phone call when it got fixed.
After making several calls myself back to the hotel, they finally fixed it around 6 pm or so. They jammed it back onto the latch just tight enough so it wouldn't fall off again, rather than replacing the entire assembly, as they should have done. I won't stay there again, and neither should you.
It's tough out there for a welfare queen cum call-center manager.
Actually, I have no idea whether Mister Ed got free room and board for his banal blogging, but no one but a prize-winning chump would put up with such inferior accomodations on his own dime.