NEWSTWEAK Doesn't Regret That Its Reporter Is A Lying Sack

Craig Unger delivers a fatal blow to Spikey Isikoff, the son Lucianne Goldberg never had. Unger writes:

Michael Isikoff attacks Michael Moore's "Fahrenheit 9/11" by asserting that "Craig Unger appears, claiming that bin Laden family members were never interviewed by the FBI." The article then goes on to say that this assertion is false. Unfortunately for Isikoff, I make no such statement in the movie....

It would be one thing if Isikoff had simply made an honest error, but clearly that is not the case. When Isikoff called me for his article, I specifically told him that the evacuation process involved brief interviews of the bin Ladens which fell far short of the kind of intense criminal investigation that should have gotten underway after the murder of nearly 3,000 people. The worst crime in American history had just taken place two days earlier, and the FBI did not even bother to check the terror watch lists! Isikoff omitted all that. Instead, he attributes claims to me that are simply not in the movie.

And Newstweak offers this simpering response:

NEWSWEEK regrets that we did not include Michael Moore's reference to "little interviews" in our report.

NEWSTWEAK doesn't regret that Spikey made up a quote and attributed it to Unger.

NEWSTWEAK: Good Enough When The Truth Doesn't Matter.

Pistof: Bush Good, Liberals Bad

Self-loving twit Nick "Pistof" Kristof takes a break from his round-the-world crusade to purchase child prostitutes to lecture those nasty liberals who are "polarizing the political cesspool." (Oh, for those halcyon days of the non-polarized political cesspool!)

You see, it turns out that Bush wasn't lying about weapons of mass destruction because Bob Woodward quoted Bush as saying so. Bush wouldn't lie about whether he would lie, because that would make him a liar, and he's not that.

Sure, Bush does stretch the truth and exaggerate, but those aren't lies when Bush says them. And besides, the lies were only about a war with Iraq.

And look how hard Bush tried not to lie about his use of illegal drugs.

Further, Bush says things that aren't true all the time. But he's confused, delusional and inarticulate, so those aren't lies.

And he surrounds himself with liars, and they all tell lies to each other and deceive the public. But that doesn't make him a liar.

In summary: Bush is an illegal drug-using, dimwitted, dishonest, self-deluded zealot who got us into "a mess," that is, an unnecessary war which has caused thousands of deaths. Therefore, liberals are bad.

(Thanks to Trent for the link.)

The Infiniti And The Balsam Poplar

The bad news? Another worthless book. The good news? Maybe they're grooming a replacement for Brooks or MoDo. Or both.

Sounds About Right To Me

Very apt description:

"[H]unched, man, the corruption has completely hunched and gnarled him. His mouth is pulled totally over on one side of his face."

(Link via AMERICAblog)

COPA-U-Later

In comments, Basharov makes the important point that we should be grateful Clarence Thomas was on the side of angels in Asscrack v. ACLU, even if only out of self-abuseinterest.

The Child Online Protection Act (COPA) provides for a 50K fine for posting "material that is harmful to minors" for commercial purposes on the 'net. Material harmful to minors is defined as:

"any communication, picture, image, graphic image file, article, recording, writing, or other matter of any kind that is obscene or that--

"(A) the average person, applying contemporary community standards, would find, taking the material as a whole and with respect to minors, is designed to appeal to, or is designed to pander to, the prurient interest;

"(B) depicts, describes, or represents, in a manner patently offensive with respect to minors, an actual or simulated sexual act or sexual contact, an actual or simulated normal or perverted sexual act, or a lewd exhibition of the genitals or post-pubescent female breast; and

"(C) taken as a whole, lacks serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value for minors."

Just imagine this law enforced by a dimwitted goon like Michael Powell ... or John Ashcroft. With a vague limitation like "prurient" ("inordinately interested in matters of sex") a nutjob like Powell could find any website in violation of this statute. And applying "contemporary community standards" to the World Wide Web would lead to a group of inbred hillbilly cretins from Bob Barr's former Congressional district milking COPA like a cash cow.

Hell, this site takes an inordinate interest in the actual and simulated perverted sex acts of Republicans, uses the fuck word frequently, and lacks serious literary, artistic, political or scientific value for minors. But for the fact that I don't make any money doing this, I could get hit with a big fine under COPA.

Justice Breyer is completely whacked out on this one. He claims that the Starr Report "[is] not both (1) 'designed to appeal to, or . . . pander to, the prurient interest' of significant groups of minors and (2) lacking in 'serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value' for significant groups of minors." I can't think of anything more aptly characterized as such.

The Affiliated Association of Organized Councils

You may think this blog is a big joke, but do you get e-mails like this one?

Trade and Industry Associations have a long heritage of setting standards, representing groups with common interests, fostering commerce, and promoting volunteerism in America. They plow billions of dollars into the U.S. economy and have enormous reach, with nine out of ten adult Americans belonging to at least one association.

But in today's environment, associations face the same kinds of challenges and opportunities as corporations--increased demand for accountability and pressure to show return on investment to their members.

Our June Wirthlin Report, "Associations Today: Demonstrating Results in a Changing Climate," identifies both the challenges and solutions for successful leadership of today's associations. It includes insights and advice based on our years of experience counseling many of the nation's largest associations, plus practical suggestions from prominent association CEOs on how to enhance industry reputation through successful communication campaigns.

I'm so important that I don't belong to an association and they still send this to me.

But shouldn't Clarence have recused himself ... at least to the men's room?

A BLOGOSPHERE CHALLENGE: It's been extremely difficult to get a full transcript of Virtually Normal online. So here's a thought: why doesn't some enterprising blogger scan all the pages and post them on a website? Then it's a pretentious bore-a-thon. Oh, and after that, come over and clean my toilets too ...

Grand Old Police Blotter: Contributing To The Delinquency Of A Minor?

Is Peggy Noonan getting underaged boys liquored up? A vigilant reader (Leslie) in comments alerts us to the possibility, but I'll let Pegaloon speak for himself.

From a 2002 interview:

Noonan: The last time I spoke to Reagan was in '98. I'd been asked to speak at the Reagan Library and brought my son, who was eleven years old at the time.

Nooners in June 2004, describing her activities at a bar in Union Station:

[Oatsie] said, "I would like a cool, dry chardonnay." I said that sounded just about right. My son wanted a Japanese beer. He had earned it.

Six years ago, Nooners' unfortunate offspring was eleven. At most, he's 18 or 19 now. Now, Nooners doesn't explicitly say she bought the pretentious little prat a beer, although she suggests she gave it to him as a reward.

This calls for an investigation.

Decline Of The Vest

The sad thing about this story is that I can't use "Saddy Pantsdown" as the headline.

Ezra Klein has an amusing and devastating takedown of the apologists for the Bush campaign ad making use of Adolf Hitler.

The stench of desperation is emanating from chinless Ken Mehlman, Instafuckwit and the rest of the Bush operatives.

Dick Fucking Cheney says that "Fuck yourself" "badly needed to be said."

It's something that needs to be said at every Cheney fundraiser between now and November.

And speaking of Republican vulgarians, Newt "Bitch" Gingrich is will be appearing on Exxon/Mobil Meet the Press tomorrow. Given the level of Gingrich's expertise in foreign and military affairs, he must have photos of Big Russ with a sheep.

One more bizarre Pegasm:

Everyone talks about globalization and immigration, and these are fine abstractions, but the Quayle family is now part Chinese and the Bush family is part Mexican, and maybe you think that means nothing but it means plenty.

Uh, Jeb! has been married to Columba (an American citizen) for over 30 years, and nobody gives a shit about Dan Quayle's kid, and Americans have been marrying noncitizens for the last 200-plus years.

So it does mean nothing, Peg.

She's Melting

Or, Peggy Gets Her Freak On

It starts out no stranger than normal:

June 9, 2004, approximately 5 p.m., U.S. Capitol:

What I was thinking was: Everyone here brought their souls. We are all these physical repositories of ourselves, of our characters and personalities and ambitions. But everybody is a soul, has a soul, and all these people gathered for the funeral of the great man of their lives, and they brought their souls.

I tell you this because it somehow has to do with what followed.

...

Then the politicians would leave, and the friends and colleagues of Ronald Reagan would depart the Mansfield Room to enter the Rotunda and say goodbye to the old man we loved, and loved in a way, some of us, that we didn't even understand until we saw the coffin.

...

Richard Nixon, even when portrayed compassionately, is shown bathed in sweat and resentment. But he had a class--a patriotism--that has not been appreciated and understood.

And then she really loses it:

My eyes met my son's and I gave him the chin up-deadeye look that parents give children to say: I'm coming.

...

I said to my son, "Hold my hand and don't let go, we can't get separated." About halfway down the steps I suddenly wanted to share some thoughts on history. I slowed a little. I was very angry to be driven from our Capitol by terror scum. My son was too, and said of them words boys don't normally say in front of their mothers....

We wound up in a group--Oatsie and Nick, Robert and Blaine Trump. We met up after a few blocks and surveyed the options. If the plane was going to hit and the plane was carrying bad stuff, nukes or chems or bios, we'd want to be in a big solid place. Union Station, three blocks away. Run for it. Inside is coolness and marble and communications and TVs in a nice cool bar. We all thought: They might bomb the station. I thought: If they're gonna take out the Capitol with nukes, they won't bother with the station today.

We got to the station, got Oatsie and Nick up the right ramps, got into some tall cool bar. We were dripping with sweat, which soaked through OUR shirts. I forgot to tell you it was 92 degrees at 3 p.m. We were heaving from running and catching our breath. The bar had kids and commuters talking on phones and flirting and drinking, they had no idea what had happened we asked that they put their big Jumbotron TV on. When Oatsie was rolled, in she was asked by a waiter what she would like. She said, "I would like a cool, dry chardonnay." I said that sounded just about right. My son wanted a Japanese beer. He had earned it.

We settled in. I asked Oatsie Charles who was the first president she'd ever seen with her eyes. She said, "Franklin D. Roosevelt." She told us of him, and of her friend JFK. "He had natural charisma--just natural charm."

We listened to her stories of history as the drums beat for Ronald Reagan on the jumbo TV. And at that moment on a Sony Jumbotron in a little table in a railroad station bar, we watched the body of Ronald Reagan arrive at Andrews and be met by a car. There were other people there in the bar and they were young office workers, commuters talking on cell phones and flirting and laughing. I got up and went to the bar, I introduced myself and told them we'd been evacuated and now we were watching our friend who we'd loved come home to us from California and I asked if they'd like to join us. I asked if they'd like to join us. They were so wonderful--kind and sweet, and they nodded and lowered their voices. And a few came and turned their seats to join our small group and watch our friend come home.

It's hard to say which would help more -- an editor or a electroshock therapy.

Mickey "Wankette" Kaus is back to bashing Kerry - for trying to cast a vote on a veterans' health care bill.

The nerve of Senator Kerry -- attempting to cast a vote in the Senate, as a Senator, while running for President. Has he no shame?!?

In an attempt at balance, the hairless hack also bashes Bush -- for not taking advantage of an opportunity to make Senator Kerry look bad.

Pathetic. Even Karl Rove thinks Kaus is a tool.

Dim and Dimmer

On CNN's Newsnight tonight, Aaron "Chipmunk" Brown had a scintilating circle jerk concerning Farenheit 9/11. The worthies on the panel were Jeff Greenfield and failed TV Guide filler writer Jeff Jarvis.

Jarvis started out with the ploy that he's not "a Bush voter," leaving Greenfield to advise the audience -- who have never heard of Jarvis -- that Jarvis is a rabid warblogger.

Jarvis and Greenfield then agreed the film was biased, and not entertaining. Plus, Moore made Iraq look peaceful before we invaded it.

Jarvis then reminded us he was just blocks from the World Trade Center on 9/11, so Moore was attacking the "wrong guys."

Jarvis bemoaned the decline of civil discourse, blah, blah, blah.

A waste of time was had by all.

Amazing. An entire interview with President Clinton that doesn't mention Monica Lewinsky.

MoDo said it was impossible!

Shorter Supreme Court: IOKIYAR

Or, there's more than one way to skin an election:

While these officials were not "above the law," Justice Kennedy said, it did mean that courts should recognize "the paramount necessity of protecting the executive branch from vexatious litigation that might distract it from the energetic performance of its constitutional duties."

You mean like a meritless lawsuit financed by a President's political enemies and used for purposes unrelated to the subject of the lawsuit, and pursued by persons acting in concert with a special prosecutor appointed by a President's political enemies for purposes unrelated to either the lawsuit or the prosecution? That vexatious litigation?

Oh, and if only this Administration would perform its constitutional duties.

Roger's Political Jeopardy!

The answer is:

The more appealing option to fucking Lynne.

You gotta love Suzanne Fields. Vouching for the credibility of someone whose name she can't even fucking remember to spell correctly.

That's integrity.

Dennis Prager Slaps Dick

Update (3 minutes later): Atrios has already posted the same Prager quote.

Fuck.

The Washington Post reports:

"Fuck yourself," said the man who is a heartbeat from the presidency.

Public moralist Dennis Prager immediately condemned Dirty Dick Cheney:

"We who are not on the Left think public cursing is a big deal, because we believe that people can pollute their soul, their character, and, yes, their society, just as they can pollute their rivers and their air and their lungs."

If you count his work on the Energy Task Force, Dirty Dick has done all six.

Who Is Lee Shapiro?

Over at Romenesko, the e-mails are flying over the question of whether the term "Moonie" is a slur. One writer, who is identified by another as an employee of the Moonie Times, contributed this subliterate diatribe, which he reportedly sent to the Kansas City Star:

Using the term Moonie to describe Unification Church members is derogatory, demeaning and offensive - no different than calling someone a n---- or kike or rag head. (see recent Romenesko headline and today's Kansas City Star) Often predicated with [sic] "f------," as in "F----- Moonie", the purpose of the term is to isolate and dehumanize, so the dominate [sic] group can torture, kill, lynch, denigrate, whatever. It's a sleazy way of making a religious group fair game. But your editors probably knew that. Words can hurt, and in fact a close friend, a documentary film maker, was killed in Afghanistan in 1987, primarily because he was a "Moonie." His name, Lee Shapiro, is now on the Newseums list of journalists who died in the line of duty. He was there working, when few so-called real reporters had the balls. While I expect this kind of epithet from white trash, I expect more of a reputable newspaper. Are you a reputable newspaper? (6/23/2004 4:26:01 PM, emphasis added.)

Was Shapiro killed because he "words can hurt," and "because he was a 'Moonie'"? Well, not so fast. Here's what the Moonies say, on their Moonie website:

Another heartwarming story was when Lee Shapiro reported to Father about the Nicaragua film, Father said, "We have to push the Soviets out of Afghanistan. You make a movie." Lee Shapiro was completely determined to make a most dynamic movie in Afghanistan. So he traveled there fearlessly. So many people would not go, but he went with the Mujahudeen even to the front line. He himself looked like a Mujahudeen! He grew a beard. His weapon was not a gun, but a movie camera. He was on camel back with all his film taken on the front line. One day coming out of a fight, Soviet helicopters came. Everyone hid in the bushes, but Lee Shapiro realized he had left the film cans on the camel. More important than his life was this exposed film. So he ran trying to get the film, without any fear. The Soviet helicopter gunned him down. It then landed and picked up all that film and took it away to the Soviet Union. Father is now trying to recover it through the KGB. All the Soviet Congressmen who came this last time were told to bring us back that film. In any case, because of Lee Shapiro's effort the Congress unanimously voted him a Medal of Freedom.

That is a heartwarming story.

So, according to the Moonies, Shapiro, who was indistiguishable from an Afghan Mujahudeen, was shot from a helicopter gunship. It seems, uh, unlikely, then, that the Soviet gunner shot Shapiro because he someone called Shapiro a "Moonie."

(Of course, the Moonies could be lying about what happened.)

On the question of whether the term "Moonie" is a slur, I tend to disagree. However, I use it to describe the leaders of the church, or the church as an organization, or (mainly) to insult the religious bigots at the Moonie Times, who suck the Moon tit while espousing their own hate-fueled version of Christianity. While such usage may disparage the Church in the eyes of its members, such comments are not anti-religion, they are anti-criminal, anti-fraud and anti-bigot. And I have no use for criminals, frauds and bigots, whatever religion they hide behind.

Kaus Gets In Touch With His Feminine Side

Midget Mickey Kaus is back on the Clinton cock hunt, armed only with his legendary respect of women who haven't been molested by Arnold Schwarzenegger. The stunted schmuck writes:

Ex-President Clinton, perhaps concerned that his I-did-it-"because-I-could" explanation solipsistically focused on his own power while it treated Monica Lewinsky as an available, serviceable non-entity without any actual individual, human, attractive attributes, now gives an interview in which he says she's "a really intelligent person and a fundamentally good person" and he hopes she "won't be trapped in what Andy Warhol called everybody's 15 minutes of fame." ... Do you think someone reminded him that it's women who buy books? ...

Someone should remind Kaus that President Clinton's book is ranked Number 1, while Kaus's tome Fuck Poor Women The End of Equality is ranked 285,980.

Of course, President Clinton's comment does not disparage Monica Lewinsky, who Kaus may remember, initiated the liaison. Although I can see why that concept is incomprehensible to Kaus.

Bonus Loathsomeness: Kaus once again endorses Lucianne Goldberg's bigot bulletin board and confuses it with a blog (see 6/22, 3:53 P.M.).

Roger's Fun Facts

The next time someone asks if you know that the founder of Planned Parenthood was a proponent of eugenics (which is mostly bullshit), you can say, "No, but I hear Jude Wanniski, the Reagan-era guru of supply-side economics whose website, website, 'Polyconomics, [is] a TownHall.com member group,' loves Saddam Hussein and wants the Administration to release him."

Total Eclipse of the Moon

The Washington Post is finally scrambling to catch up with journalist and blogger John Gorenfeld. Having previously relegated the Moon Coronation to its gossip column, the Post now reports on it in detail.

Strangely, the headline - "The Rev. Moon Honored at Hill Reception" -- makes it sound as though the reception occurred this week, or over the weekend, instead of three months earlier.

It's interesting to see all the congressmen (none are women, it seems) running for cover, claiming they were bamboozled by Moon. It's a pretty good scam, giving "Crown of Peace" awards so you can be photographed being crowned at the Capitol. But you have to wonder how stupid these lawmakers were to be taken in by such a scam.

J. Batsboy Goldberg Won't Be Able To Stand Up For Weeks

TBogg has the scoop on this story of Republican Family Values from the Land of Spankin':

CHICAGO - U.S. Senate candidate Jack Ryan pressured and tricked his then-wife into going to sex clubs with "cages, whips and other apparatus hanging from the ceiling" and tried to get her to have sex in front of others, she alleged in 4-year-old court records released Monday.

In the records from a June 2000 child-custody battle, Ryan's ex-wife - television actress Jeri Ryan of "Star Trek: Voyager" and "Boston Public" fame - alleged that the Republican millionaire's pressure tactics included suggesting once that she owed him a trip to a sex club because he had eaten dinner out with her.

I can't imagine what the ex-wife saw in him, since Locutus of Dork there looks like the bastard child of Screech and a Muppet attacked by a lunatic with an eyebrow pencil.

The Moral Hazard

Here's a unique perspective on the Rowland resignation:

Conn. Gov. Rowland, Former Insurance Agent, Resigns Amid Impeachment Inquiry

June 22, 2004

John Rowland, a member of a prominent Connecticut insurance and political family and himself a former insurance agent, resigned last evening as governor of Connecticut rather than testify before a legislative panel investigating his possible impeachment.

Following the state Supreme Court's ruling on June 18 that he would have to testify before the legislative committee, Rowland opted to exit office rather than prolong the political battle that had left him with little public support.
...

Rowland was born in Waterbury, the descendant of a family steeped in Connecticut insurance and politics. He worked as an insurance agent for his family's Waterbury agency until 1984, when he was first elected to the U.S. House of Representatives. The Republican had previously won seats in the state House in 1980 and 1982.

From term life to a life term?

(source)

Meet Your Liberal Media: Whitewater Whitewashers Edition

In a front page article on Clinton-haters, the oh-so-liberal New York Times identifies subliterate author David Bossie only as president of a "conservative lobbying group," Citizens United and someone who helped to "foment the Whitewater scandal." (I thought that was Jeff Gerth.) No mention is made of the fact that Bossie was a Republican staffer on the House Government Reform and Oversite Subcommittee, who got shitcanned by its chairman, Dan Burton, because, as Atrios says, he "was busted releasing heavily doctored transcripts to the press who, reliably, rushed the information into print."

More fun facts about Bossie can be found here.

The article also reports that former Georgia Representative Bob Barr is writing a book on his role in the failed impeachment of President Clinton entitled "The Meaning of Is." The Times left out his full title, "adulterer, accused perjurer and litigious loser Bob Barr."

I guess the NYT assumes its readers are all so liberal they know the dishonorable records of these lowlifes by heart. Or perhaps the paper just wants to smear the President again.

Everybody Hates Peggy

Via Wonkette and Newsmax, we learn that conservatives also think that Nooners is a self-promoting, egomaniacal hack. Some Reaganaut named Jack Wheeler says that the Pegster is "beneath contempt."

Peggy came late, arriving in Reagan's second term, and was quickly identified by the other speechwriters as being dedicated to self-promotion. While the others were self-effacing and avoided taking any credit for a speech of the president's, Peggy would never fail to call up every media contact she had to make sure any speechwriting of hers was fully publicized.

For all her self-promotion, the facts are that she never wrote many major presidential speeches and had quite limited access to the president. The Reagan speechwriters were the ultimate Reaganauts in the White House, and Peggy was an outsider....

Peggy wasn't a part of this and now, so many years later, she allows her resentment to trash her tribute to Chief Speechwriter Ben Elliott and disgracefully use President Reagan's funeral service to do so. Of course, Peggy wasn't sitting with the other speechwriters at the service. I was. Her name never came up. No one asked, "Where's Peggy?" Her cheap, inexcusable, and completely gratuitous insults of her fellow speechwriters -- describing one as a "malignant leprechaun," another as more concerned with getting a haircut than speechwriting, and yet another as an illiterate hack -- expose a small and petty side to her character that will permanently blemish the reputation she has worked so hard to achieve.

Here's the question she needs to ask herself: Do you think that President Reagan would think more or less of you for writing what you did, Peggy? You know the answer. He would be ashamed of you. The knowledge of that shame will stain your soul, Peggy. You owe your fellow speechwriters the deepest of apologies - just as you owe an apology to the memory of Ronald Reagan.

"Ronnie liked me better!"

Speechwriters fighting over the corpse of their mouthpiece. Makes fueds between academics -- bloggers, even! -- look reputable.

C'mon, Pegster, don't take this lying down!

Hail to the Moon King

A must read.

Retrospect My Ass, Klein

"In retrospect, it is clear that there was no substance to the Whitewater allegations and the other White House scandalettes -- the travel-office firings, the FBI files, the death of Vince Foster -- except, of course, Lewinsky."

It was clear at the time, too, if you cared enough to notice.

Another One Bites The Dust

HARTFORD, Conn. -- Connecticut Gov. John G. Rowland, for months the subject of investigations into alleged corruption in his administration and facing possible legislative impeachment, will announce his resignation Monday night, two sources told The Associated Press.

The governor was planning to announce his resignation on a live television address to the state at 6 p.m., an administration source and another source familiar with the situation told the AP. The governor's plans to resign were first reported Monday morning by WTNH-TV, Channel 8.

Rowland's resignation would elevate Lt. Gov. M. Jodi Rell to governor.

Rowland, 47, a Republican easily re-elected to a third term in 2002, admitted late last year that he lied about accepting gifts and favors from friends, state contractors and state employees.

Good riddance to bad Republicans.

Let's see:

Iraq

9/11

"Mission Accomplished"

WMDs

The economy

Honor and Integrity

And now:

The mantle of Saint Ronnie

"[Ron-Not-Jnr.] Reagan was asked about the ambiguous comments he made at his father's funeral, criticizing politicians who wear their faith on their sleeves.

"'What I find interesting about it is that everybody assumes that I must be talking about George W. Bush, which I find fascinating and somewhat telling. If the shoe fits . . .,' Reagan said.

"'I think he's used religion to make his case for - for a lot of things, including Iraq,' he said later."

It's going to be a short convention.

Enemies, A Blog Roll

After weeks and months of procrastination, I've updated the Enemies List. And you thought I just ignored your e-mails!

Please welcome, in no particular order:

NewMexiKen

Blogwood

Winning Argument (Judd Legum)

Nico Pitney's Priority Wire

Blue Grass Roots

Counterbias

The Moderate Voice

edge of alleigh

Doucheblog

Can You Get Fired For Plagiarizing A Bumper Sticker?

From MoDo's column:

But one thing you can say for Bill Clinton: His "Who's gonna stop me?" Oval Office power surge produced a much lower body count.

Hmmm.... Sounds familiar.

Springtime For Haters

With the release of President Clinton's book, the Clinton-haters were out in full force this morning, attempting to relive their glory days of the 1990s at the cost of the truth.

On Reliable Sources, Howie the Putz showed a clip of that grinning idiot, Margaret Carlson, who was opining that Clinton's book was hurting the Kerry campaign. (That's her job!) He also replayed some idiot spewing bile about the President on O'Reilly's program. Kurtz then engaged in some weak Clinton-bashing, with Dan Rather standing in for Clinton's cock.

On Press the Meat, Pumpkinhead started out with a quote from the New York Times review dissing President Clinton's book. Russert's guests included Joe Klein, who essentially agreed with the President about Starr's abuses. The lead Clinton-hater was Bob Novak, who either didn't get advance notice of the topic or needs to get behind stem-cell research right now.

This should be fun.

Update: Time magazine explains why the whores are on the defensive:

Indeed, if there was a cover-up, Clinton argued at the movie screening, it was perpetrated by the media, which didn't report the essential flimsiness of the charges and downplayed the exoneration of the Clintons in 1995 by the government agency investigating Whitewater. "The mainstream press was in the tank to Starr until the Starr report came out, and then they turned against him," Clinton said. "For years and years and years he had been crushing these innocent people" like Susan McDougal, who did 18 months in jail for refusing to cooperate with Starr and who was in the audience that night. Clinton told us he had a private meeting with McDougal after the screening "for the first time in 20 years ... It was touching. Both of us started crying."

Update (6/21): Time link added.

The Colors, They're ...

By the way, we're back in business. Thanks to everyone who e-mailed and left advice in comments.

Jews You Can Use

Young Benji Shapiro can't understand why Jews don't love the Republican Party. After all, says Ben, F.D.R.'s dead and Robert Byrd was in the Klan about the same time F.D.R. died. Here's an excerpt of Benji's Harvardworthy argument to persuade his coreligionists to "open their eyes":

Though it was Jerry Falwell who powerfully defended America's pro-Israel policy the night of Sept. 11 on national television, American Jews largely fear the idea that, according to some Christians, Jews will go to hell for their rejection of Jesus.

I've got four possible reasons some Jews don't love the Republican party as much as Benjy.

One:

Other times, he was more explicit (calling supporter Robert Vesco, who later fled the country to escape criminal charges, "a cheap kike"). Sometimes he chalked up nefarious behavior to Jews ("The IRS is full of Jews," he told Haldeman, when the IRS commenced an audit of the Rev. Billy Graham. "I think that's the reason they're after Graham, is the rich Jews").

At least once the anti-Semitism appears to have had hard consequences. As As Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein first reported in The Final Days, and as White House memos later confirmed, Nixon feared that a "Jewish cabal" at the Bureau of Labor Statistics was skewing data to make him look bad, and he instructed his aide Fred Malek to tally up the Jewish employees at the bureau -- a count that probably resulted in the demotion of two Jews. (It later forced Malek's own resignation from George Bush's 1988 presidential campaign.) [source]

Two:

Ronald Reagan used to alarm other constituencies by speaking freely about the "End Times" foreshadowed in the Bible. In the Oval Office, Ronald Reagan told Yitzhak Shamir and Simon Wiesenthal, on two separate occasions, that he himself had assisted personally at the liberation of the Nazi death camps. [source]

On April 11, the White House announced that Reagan would be visiting the Bitburg military cemetery, to lay a wreath in honor of German soldiers who died in both World Wars. This became controversial when it came to public attention that a small number (variously reported as 49 or 56) of gravesites contained remains of soldiers who had served in Waffen-SS units. Despite protests from various quarters, most notably Elie Wiesel, Reagan proceeded with the visit on the grounds that it would promote reconciliation between the former adversaries. [source]

Three:

Once, during a 1991 White House press conference, Bush Sr. complained about the strength of the Jewish lobby on Capitol Hill -- the implication being that "Jews work insidiously behind the scenes," as David J. Forman wrote in the Jerusalem Post. On another occasion, Bush reminded his critics that the United States gives "Israel the equivalent of $1,000 for every Israeli citizen," a remark that detractors took as an allusion to the stereotype of Jews as money-obsessed and greedy.

And then there was Secretary of State James Baker's infamous "fuck the Jews" remark. In a private conversation with a colleague about Israel, Baker reportedly uttered the vulgarity, noting that Jews "didn't vote for us anyway." [source]

Four:

Turning to God, however, has also created its own problems, none more controversial for Bush than in 1993 after he told a Jewish reporter for the Austin American-Statesman that, according to his faith, nonbelievers in Christ, including Jews, go to hell. His statements were picked up by the Jewish press, and when he first ran for Texas governor in 1994, were revived by his opponent, then-Gov. Ann Richards, in ads her campaign took out in Jewish newspapers.

"Bush was giving the Orthodox biblical answer," says Marvin Olasky, a senior fellow of the Acton Institute for the Study of Religion and Liberty, a born-again Christian and advisor to Bush on compassionate conservatism. "On the face of it, you have to believe in Christ to go to heaven; Jews don't believe in Christ; therefore, Jews don't go to heaven. So of course there was an uproar."

The story lay dormant until 1998 when, right before Bush left for a trip to Israel, the same Austin American-Statesman reporter asked Bush what he would say to the Israelis upon arrival. "Go to hell," Bush joked. [source]

The Congressman's reference on this issue was to taped messages and phone calls by Christian Coalition founder and Bush supporter, Rev. Pat Robertson, and others, in which Warren Rudman, Sen. McCain's campaign co-chair, was referred to as a "vicious bigot."

Mr. Rudman, who is of the Jewish faith, told a newspaper reporter regarding the phone campaign to voters in Michigan that "There's no question in my mind it's anti-Semitism."

Last Sunday on Meet the Press, Rudman commented on other calls by Bush supporters, saying, "I know of phone calls that were made referring to me by my faith, with pronunciations of my name that were inaccurate." [source]

Better luck next time, Ben.

Eh, why does anyone give a shit who Andrew Sullivan "supports" in the Presidential election?

Unless I'm mistaken -- and I admit that I don't care enough to research this -- Sully is not an American citizen, and can't vote.

George Bush doesn't want his support, and neither does Senator John Kerry. They can't even accept his pounds sterling and pence -- his money is as tainted as the Lippo Group's.

Meanwhile, members of the Mickey Kaus endorsed site Lucianne.com demonstrate what Bush voters think of Sully: (Sorry, no link to a Kaus-endorsed bigot.)

Reply 1 - Posted by: dlentz10, 6/16/2004 9:13:44 PM

If you pay attention to Andrew Sullivan, you have too much time to waste. Nobody, even an obstensive conservative like Sullivan, should take pride in being a pervert.

David


Reply 5 - Posted by: ForNow, 6/16/2004 9:19:02 PM

Sullivan said plainly at The Advocate but not on his own blog, that Bush's positions on homosexuality are a deal-breaker for him (Sullivan).

I still want to know why Andrew Sullivan thinks the Boy Scouts ought to allow homosexual scoutmasters. Boy Scouts range in age from 11 - 18. Even accepting that homosexuality & pederasty can sometimes be distinguished, still where, Andrew, is the bright line between them? You know, Andrew, that there is no such bright line.


Reply 8 - Posted by: VivaFlame, 6/16/2004 9:27:16 PM

First we say "Good-byt to Hitchens
Now we say Goodbye to Andrew Sullivan.

Both are good writers with high IQ's but low morals and worse problems.

Let's hope they both get some help.

I don't befriend people who are not friends of my Country or my values.


Reply 17 - Posted by: dlm, 6/16/2004 9:59:26 PM

Hmmmm ....

So, the War on Terror talk was just that ... talk.

Did anyone really expect him to act differently? What it comes down to is not the fact that Al Qaeda doesn't care about is sexual persuasion and will kill him just the same, but that Bush thinks his life is immoral and wrong.

I think the reason he didn't mention it on his blog is that he didn't want his conservative readers to leave him. Funny thing is, though, you would have to be blind to not see that he moved anti-Bush. I stopped reading him regularly long ago. Occasionally I will give his site a glance, but normally he isn't the place for views anymore.

Today, he is a two-issue blogger. Gay civil rights, whatever that is, and the 'torture' in Iraq. That's it.

I bet he is one issue voter, too

Reply 29 - Posted by: FlyRight, 6/16/2004 10:30:38 PM

What I have wanted to know is why, if Andrew is so hot for gay marriage and is "in love" with his boyfriend, as he has told us endlessly, he isn't at Vera Wang right now getting his dress fitted for the big P-Town wedding. Wha hoppened? Boyfriend get cold feet?


Reply 40 - Posted by: boscon, 6/16/2004 11:19:48 PM

Look. He's a fag, a limey and he lives in P-Town. To me, that's three strikes and you're out.


Reply 103 - Posted by: RedDwarf, 6/17/2004 10:50:26 AM

It is a sad thing to see the enemy win. I mean, I really feel for the guy. He knows right from wrong, thus his desire to be a conservative. But he's had to surrender it and become anti-American, anti-Bush, anti-good, because of his deadly addiction to homosexuality. Over the months you could see him spiraling (many poster call it wobbling), losing to ground to the seductive, pleasurable evil consuming his soul. I grieve for this loss. He is now dead to us, and has thrown in with the enemy, rather than face down the incredibly difficult, painful choice of giving up homosexuality and joining the ranks of normals.

So those are the type of folks who stir Mickey's drink.

SullyWatch has the ultimate ringside commentary on the bantamweight bout Goldberg vs. Sullivan.

Bigot vs. Bigot

In the Washington Post, columnist David Ignatius reports on the brewing battle between the bigoted owners of the Moonie Times and the bigoted editor of their rag, Wesley "Klansboy" Pruden. Dear Pruden's worried that his bigoted bosses may be moving an inch to the left of his racist and reactionary worldview.

The real battles have been taking place out of public view, and rumors about a high-level power struggle have been swirling around the Times offices. Sources say that the dominant church official overseeing the publications is now the Rev. Chung Hwan Kwak, a close adviser to the church's founder, the Rev. Sun Myung Moon.

Here's the funny bit:

Pruden won't give up control of the Times without a fight. And he has powerful Republican friends on Capitol Hill and in the administration who would probably back a campaign to maintain the paper's editorial line and fend off meddling by its owners. What's clear from the Times-Moon dust-up is that the battle for the soul of conservatism has a new front.

A fight? How exactly would that go? "I will resist any effort to change the fundamental vision under which the paper was founded." "You're fired, Pruden." What a battle that would be!

Let's face it, Klansboy won't be fighting from a position of power. What other job is Pruden qualified for -- Proofreader for Crossburners' Quarterly or FrontPage Magazine? Exactly what clout do Congressional Republicans have over Moon and his empire? "Continue throwing away millions per year to flatter us, or you have to return that crown we gave you."

Whenever there's a battle between bigots, at least one of them has to lose.

Life is good.

(Link courtesy of mw.)

Dude, You're Shittin' A Breindel!

David Ehrenstein comments on this year's recipient of the Eric Breindel Award for Excellence in Journalism, or Smacky, as it is less commonly known.

Breindel (rhymes with grating nasal whine-del) was known and loved by all New Yorkers to whom he sucked up. In addition to his work at the New York Post, Breindel was the original host of Faux News Watch.

I'm surprised the Smacky didn't go to Rush Limbaugh this year, given the similarity of their tastes.

The Post described Breindel's values as "love of America and its democratic institutions, and bearing witness to the evils of totalitarianism." And Breindel didn't just preach those values, he lived them. To wit:

In the early months of 1983, after receiving a high-level security clearance from the FBI, Breindel went to work as Senator Moynihan's aide on the Senate Intelligence Committee. For someone interested in a career in government, it was a dream job. But on May 16, only eight weeks after he started, Breindel was arrested in the parking lot of a Washington, D.C., motel for buying five bags of heroin from an undercover cop. Two and a half grams for $150. The arrest report said he had tracks on his arms. He was a junkie.

...

After a period of rehabilitation, for his body, his psyche, and his reputation, Breindel signed on at the Post's editorial page in 1986. And immediately, he came out shooting bullets. Homeless people, poor people, gay people, the mentally ill, single mothers. All were subjected to Breindel's uncharitable lashings. There were never even subtle shadings in his writing that indicated he was someone who knew what it was like to stumble, to give in to temptation, or simply to suffer from some common human failing.

No wonder he loved America.

(And there's only One Degree of Separation between him and George Will!)

Sincere Apologies

Sometime last night my monitor decided to malfunction. Right now the entire screen has a pale pink overlay, rendering all the colors various shades of blue and orange. (Picture the Miami Dolphins colors jamming needles into your eyes; it's that painful.) I'm going to have to fiddle around with this and possibly get a new monitor if I can't fix it myself.

Hopefully I can get on another computer and post some items while I'm working on this problem.

Meanwhile, enjoy this pitch for the G.O.P. from Wan Juilliams. I've been waiting all day to crack wise on it, but, really, the jokes just write themselves.

Everytime I see this pointless, unfunny crap, I look forward to the Nixon/Safire reunion even more.

If you're going to write fiction, Bill, stick with the Al-Qaeda/Saddam connection.

The Jury's Still Out On The Obnoxius Drunk Part

Wow. The New York Times finally figured out what Ron-Not-Jnr. thinks of Dubya, with some help from "a friend of the Reagan family."

But on Friday, at the culmination of an emotional week of mourning for the former president, his son Ron Reagan delivered a eulogy that castigated politicians who use religion "to gain political advantage," a comment that was being interpreted in Washington as a not-so-subtle slap at Mr. Bush.

The remark has provoked intense debate among Republicans about precisely what the younger Mr. Reagan meant. Some saw the reference to religion as a message to the administration on stem-cell research. Others saw it as a possible critique of the war in Iraq. Still others insist there was no deeper message at all.

But a friend of the Reagan family, speaking on condition of anonymity, said Mr. Reagan, who did not return a call seeking comment on Monday, was deeply uncomfortable with the way the Bush administration intertwined religion and politics and felt compelled to say so at the burial of his father, a ceremony watched by millions.

I bet it was Merv.

Guess they couldn't quote "an obscure blog named Roger Ailes" as their source and still retain their Judy Miller/Bill Keller level of credibility.

But I'll give the paper some brownie points for this quote:

Ron Reagan, a television commentator who has frequently been critical of Mr. Bush, has already said as much. In 2000, he fired a shot at Mr. Bush in Philadelphia during the Republican convention, which featured a tribute to his father. "What's his accomplishment?" Mr. Reagan asked then. "That he's no longer an obnoxious drunk?"

You can never repeat that line too often.

Life Is Good

Is this what they call Blog Triumphalism?

Doc Searls writes some extremely boring crap.

Adam Curry has some profound thoughts.

Jeff Jarvis chokes his chicken.

Indeed.

Roger's Justice Department

Justice has been served. Two scoops.

And former U.S. Representative Bob Barr (R - Georgia) may soon be served with a malicious prosecution lawsuit.

Yes, it's the 5,000th consecutive loss for Krazy Kounsellor Klayman and Judicial Watch. JW's latest loser client is Boob Barr, whose case against Larry Flynt was tossed by the D.C. Circuit Court of Appeals because the Boobster failed to allege that what Flynt said about him was false. Says the A.P.:

"A three-judge panel of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit said Barr failed to make his conspiracy claim against Clinton and Carville within the three years permitted by law.

"As to Flynt, the panel ruled that Barr's claim is barred by the First Amendment because he failed to show that the information printed in a one-time issue called 'The Flynt Report' was false or was published with knowledge that it was false.

"Flynt's article included allegations by Barr's former wife that the congressman had an affair in the mid-1980s. It also said that in contrast to his public opposition to abortion, he drove his wife to a clinic to have an abortion performed."

Legal scholars and fans of justice alike will enjoy reading the Court's opinion (.pdf file) and laughing their asses off. The money quote:

"Barr's cause of action rests entirely on his claim that Flynt's conspiratorial publication of The Flynt Report injured his reputation and mental state.... Because Barr's complaint neither alleges that the information is false nor that the report was published with actual malice, Barr cannot obtain damages for the report's publication." (See page 10.)

Aw. Did the poor widdle bigoted nut-job get his feewings hurt?

Actually, the A.P. was too kind. Flynt wrote that Boob lied under oath about his adulterous affair, during a deposition. (See page 4.) And Booby didn't deny Flynt's charge in his complaint.

Oh, and look: Here's Klayman getting his ass kicked once again (.pdf file) by the D.C. Circuit, in a decision enforcing an IRS subpeona served on Judicial Watch.

Life is good.

Not everyone on the right loves Reverend Moon. Loathsome Joe Farah, of WorldNutDaily, has picked up on the story of Moon's coronation at the U.S. Capitol.

As is typical with WorldNutDaily's content, about 3/4th of the article is a direct steal, in this case from a Bill Berkowitz column. WND cites Berkowitz, but doesn't link. And WND gives no credit whatsoever to John Gorenfeld, who is credited and quoted by Berkowitz. WND mentions the one-world-government and cult angles, but downplays Moon's funding of the fundies.

Gorenfeld will be on Farah's radio show tomorrow. I can't think of a better place to mention the Bush/Moon connections. (Mention your website first, John!)

Hmmm....Maybe WorldNutDaily Books would like to sign John to a lucrative book contract.

(Thanks to mw for the links.)

Fox & Family Values

Reminiscing about Fox News criminal Ollie "Naked Gun" North and reading TBogg brought back some more fond memories of another Fox News consultant, Dick "Spankee" Morris:

Morris admits that the prostitute Sherry Rowlands listened to conversations he had with the president from their suite at the Jefferson Hotel, Washington. However, he insists he did not let his "companion" hear much. She has claimed that during more than 40 "all-nighters" with Morris, between sucking her toes and "being dominated", he liked to let her listen in to calls to Mr Clinton.

Meanwhile, presstitute Brit Hume takes another dive for a Bush.

Brit Hume fits the description. The Fox News anchor did a parachute jump yesterday, shortly before George H.W. Bush did so too, and then interviewed the just-turned-80 former president.

"We reporters are supposed to be up for stuff, aren't we?" Hume, 60, said before taking the plunge. "It's kind of an adventure." He said he determined after Bush invited him that "the level of peril in this was not overwhelming."

I hear Brit tests Neilsie's dates for V.D. too.

"It was difficult to tell where the 40th president ended and the 43rd began, a blurring further promoted by Ken Mehlman, the president's campaign manager, who told an Iowa Republican Party convention on Saturday that Mr. Reagan's spirit lived on. 'Every time an American soldier, sailor, airman or marine risks his or her life to ensure our security and peace, Ronald Reagan will be there,' Mr. Mehlman said."

Well, yeah. Now that he's dead.

(link)

Oliver's Barmy

Convicted lying sack of shit and FOX News journalist Lt. Crmnl. Oliver North says that he didn't attend St. Ronnie's funeral out of respect for his unindicted co-conspirator.

That, and Nancy's shoot-to-kill order.

Let's recall what St. Nancy said during Ollie's failed Senate campaign: Oliver North is liar. (See also here.)

A mentally unstable Ollie North lying out of his ass. It's like the 80s -- and 90s -- all over again.

(Main link via Buzzflash .)

Watch Out, Carville

From Big Pharma's website:

"I've been e-mailing with Mary Matalin for a long time."

Media Matters for America reports on Faux News' favorite faux Democrat, Susan Estrich. I think the other Roger Ailes uses Estrich to keep Alan Colmes in line.

And Mickey Kaus curses his barren scalp everytime he sees Estrich.

Grand Old Police Blotter: Jesus Loves Me, Let Me Go Edition

One of the things I loathe most about certain fundies is their willingness to let themselves and their fellows -- but no one else -- skate because "God forgives them."

There was Jackass Kelley, the fundie fabricator for USA Toady. And who can forget Dickie DelGaudio, whose recognition of his need for spiritual counselling coincided with his arrest for taking photos of underage girls.

Here's the latest fundie who absolves himself of responsibility because Jesus loves him.

A former official at American Family Radio, which regularly warns listeners about the dangers of pornography, must serve 15 years in prison for producing child pornography.

In federal court in Aberdeen Wednesday, U.S. District Judge Glen H. Davidson sentenced Kerry Dwayne Stevens, 47, of Tupelo, who pleaded guilty to two counts of producing child pornography. A law passed by Congress last year requires a mandatory 15-year sentence for creating child pornography.

"It's tragic for everybody involved," said the Rev. Donald Wildmon, founder and executive director of the Tupelo-based American Family Association, which started the fast-growing Christian radio network. "It's one of those things you wish had never happened. His family was devastated."

...

After his arrest, court documents say Stevens urged 1st District U.S. Rep. Roger Wicker to influence Davidson to rule favorably on a motion to suppress evidence. In a motion opposing bond, prosecutors wrote, "This overt attempt to obstruct justice should surely weigh on the court in assessing guilt, flight risk and danger to the community."

In his letter to Wicker, Stevens wrote, "I took my eyes off of Jesus for a moment and did something terrible ... I took some pictures of one of my daughter's friends. Suffice it to say that these pictures were of her in various sleeping positions. Let me hasten to add that I never touched her person, nor are there any ... showing her face, nor was there any involvement with the Internet. I did not do this for personal profit, but from a dark sin. Nor did I touch her, because I didn't want to wake her and have her damaged psychologically. And truthfully, I didn't want to take a chance on getting caught.

"I know what I did was wrong. Oh, how I wish I could simply undo what I've done!! But I can't."

But Assistant U.S. Attorney Paul Roberts in court suggested Stevens did more than just snap pictures, saying photographs showed an adult hand adjusting clothing and in one case touching a minor child.

Another article says that Stevens photographed his own daughter as well.

Oh, how I wish these scumbags could simply admit they were doing what they wanted to do, and quit pretending to be pawns of the supernatural!!

And, no, Donny, it isn't tragic for Mr. Stevens. Perhaps you should spend less time protecting the nation from "such a perverted activity as homosexual marriage," and spend more time protecting young children from your married heterosexual employees.

"You're All Out Of Order!"

The new new Blogger continues to have trouble with the concept of chronological order.

Post slanderous rumors about the creators of Google in comments below.

Roger's Book Bag

Acting on a tip, I headed to the local bookmonger this afternoon on a mission of ego gratification.

And there it was. In the "Current Affairs" section. Located, ironically, to the right of Bob Bork's Slouching Toward Gomorrah and David Bossie's Intelligence Failure (surprisingly, not an autobiography) and to the left Sid Blumenthal's The Clinton Wars. The impeccably sourced The Republican Noise Machine: Right-Wing Media and How it Corrupts Democracy, by David Brock.

I'm humbled to report that Roger Ailes, the blog, is mentioned in the acknowledgments. Page 399.

Of course, I bought a copy.

And if you're on my holiday gift list, well, your present might not be much of a surprise.

Now, I'm going to read the rest of the book.

p.s. Nothing on the shelf by David Brooks. I'm sure the store was just sold out.

But What About The Iron Sheik?

Here's a good... ok, interesting... article about those "Russian" pro-wrestlers from the 1980s.

Shorter Strokes

Kevin Drum says that wonkery is the new wankery.

Don't knock intellectual masturbation, Kev. It's sex with someone who isn't a Republican.

A Posthumous Endorsement of Abuse

The Wall Street Journal's editorialists, opining on the popularity of Ronald Reagan's death, say (reg. req.) that dead Ronnie gives his endorsement to torture and illegal war:

A few specific and illegal acts of prison abuse have been used by opponents of the war to tarnish the moral legitimacy of the entire effort in Iraq. Most Americans don't believe this about themselves or their military, and perhaps they recall in Mr. Reagan a leader who was willing and able to fight back and remind us of the country's worthy purposes and generosity. He was also a leader who could take on a dangerous adversary and win. There's a lesson in all of this for President Bush.

...

So maybe this is the way it should be. Most of the liberal establishment never did understand Mr. Reagan's popularity, much less explain it. As for the Gipper, we suspect he'd be amused and pleased to learn that even in death he is still being underestimated.

Well, at least he couldn't be accused of inconsistency.

Big Pharma, Feminazi

So sayeth young Master Shapiro:

"Divorce, shacking up and single motherhood are just as good as traditional marriage, both for children and for women, feminists claim."

Will Ben stand by his man Rusty? Will he come up with a tale about how his father and grandfather took turns holding down a drug-addled Gaga Shapiro when she insisted on keeping Poppop trapped in a loveless marriage? Or will his head just explode?

Just a couple of weeks ago, Private Benjamin was bewhining that none of the top 50 colleges had tapped Big Pharma to deliver a commencement address. Perhaps administrators didn't want to promote drugs on campus.

And, in his latest column, Benjy reveals that he was stillborn. And he recounts how he paid homage to a coffin. Very interesting. I hope Benny hasn't been picking up some of Rush's nastier habits.

Found Poetry

- Honor Ronald Reagan
- Drink Less Water
- Burn Fat, Get Muscle
- Get Athena Pheromone
- The Perfect Stock
- Honor Ronald Reagan
- Drink Less Water

(Advertising links on the Faux News Channel website.)

Celebrity Sin

Here's the loving couple in happier times. Must have been some mighty strong dope.

Which one called Raoul Felder first?

It's Mourning In America YET Again

I turn on the teevee this morning, and I see the cable news nets are still humping a dead president.

Then again, they're always humping for dead presidents.

Internet Predator Alert Level: RED

Female internet users are being warned not to respond to instant messages from a man who has recently appeared in chatrooms and bulletin boards using the name "BigPharma69."

Limbaugh and the then-Marta Fitzgerald's love affair began in 1990 on the information superhighway. Going by the name of the "Jacksonville Jaguar," Fitzgerald contacted the talk show host through the CompuServe message network to ask his advice on how to challenge her President Reagan-bashing professor at the University of North Florida, where she was a student. Reagan had once called Limbaugh "the No. 1 voice for conservatism in our country."

Fitzgerald's husband at the time, Tom Fitzgerald, said Limbaugh didn't respond to her first query. She got angry when she heard Limbaugh respond on the air to some flight attendants who had written wanting to meet him.

So she wrote Limbaugh a scathing letter, calling him pompous and telling him he was wasting his time, Fitzgerald told The Florida Times-Union in Jacksonville. This time, Limbaugh responded.

"That's how the whole relationship got started," Fitzgerald said. "They started corresponding back and forth."

Limbaugh escorted Marta, who was divorced from Fitzgerald in 1992, to the 1994 Super Bowl, Israel and New Orleans. He playfully hinted to radio listeners about his "Jaguar," and eventually Marta moved to New York, where Limbaugh owned an Upper West Side apartment.

...

Limbaugh, who has no children, also has opined about gay marriage. "Marriage is about raising children. That's the purpose of the institution."

Limbaugh has no children, but he has adopted thousands of blue babies in the past three years.

Funerals In Review

So, does anyone think Ron Not-A-Jnr. was comparing the old man favorably to someone else?

And what's up with that ham of a Presbyterian preacher? "To think I could become chaplain to the President of the United States... Only in America!" D'oh.

Ronald W. Reagan International Correctional Facility

While we're discussing naming things after St. Ronnie, how about slapping the Reagan moniker on that prison they're gonna build to replace Abu Ghraib?

With the Iran-Iraq war escalating, President Ronald Reagan dispatched his Middle East envoy, a former secretary of defense, to Baghdad with a hand-written letter to Iraqi President Saddam Hussein and a message that Washington was willing at any moment to resume diplomatic relations.

That envoy was Donald Rumsfeld.

Rumsfeld’s December 19-20, 1983 visit to Baghdad made him the highest-ranking US official to visit Iraq in 6 years. He met Saddam and the two discussed "topics of mutual interest," according to the Iraqi Foreign Ministry. "[Saddam] made it clear that Iraq was not interested in making mischief in the world," Rumsfeld later told The New York Times. "It struck us as useful to have a relationship, given that we were interested in solving the Mideast problems."

...

Throughout the period that Rumsfeld was Reagan's Middle East envoy, Iraq was frantically purchasing hardware from American firms, empowered by the White House to sell. The buying frenzy began immediately after Iraq was removed from the list of alleged sponsors of terrorism in 1982. According to a February 13, 1991 Los Angeles Times article:

"First on Hussein's shopping list was helicopters -- he bought 60 Hughes helicopters and trainers with little notice. However, a second order of 10 twin-engine Bell "Huey" helicopters, like those used to carry combat troops in Vietnam, prompted congressional opposition in August, 1983... Nonetheless, the sale was approved."

And how come Brian Mulroney got an invite, but not Saddam?

Republican Comedy Jam

Howie the Putz attempts comedy, and the result is exactly what you'd expect. The wacky premise: A memo to Bush listing ways he can be more like Reagan.

"Find a group of union employees to fire. Better yet, abolish a government agency that provides little or no benefit to our base. Do we really need a Labor Department?"

Ah ha ha.

Do quit your day job, Putzie.

The Associated Press needs to get some better writers.

BOISE, Idaho (AP) -- Handing the government a stinging defeat in its war on terror, a jury acquitted a Saudi graduate student Thursday of charges he used his computer expertise to help Muslim terrorists raise money and recruit followers.

"I hope the message is that the First Amendment is important and meaningful in this country," said David Nevin, defense attorney for Sami Omar Al-Hussayen.

The case against Al-Hussayen, a 34-year-old Ph.D. candidate in computer science student at the University of Idaho, was seen as an important test of a provision of the Patriot Act that makes it a crime to provide expert advice or assistance to terrorists.

Al-Hussayen set up and ran Web sites that prosecutors said were used to recruit terrorists, raise money and disseminate inflammatory rhetoric. They said the sites included religious edicts justifying suicide bombings and an invitation to contribute financially to the militant Palestinian organization Hamas.

...

"There was a lack of hard evidence," said juror John Steger. "There was no clear-cut evidence that said he was a terrorist, so it was all on inference."

U.S. Attorney Tom Moss said it would be a week before a decision is made on whether to retry Al-Hussayen on the eight counts on which the jury was deadlocked.

That should be "war on civil liberties." Not war on terror.

The Injustice Department failed to prove Mr. Al-Hussayen was a terrorist, or aided and assisted terrorists. It wasn't fighting terrorists, it was attempting to convict someone who isn't a terrorist.

Attorney Moss, however, might find himself naked in a shipping container, when General Asscrack learns that he failed to convict.

U don't have 2 watch the Parliamentary Channel/2 have an attitude....

As we bid a fond and seemingly endless farewell to our B-Actor-in-Chief, we learn that Great Britain has its own elderly scenery-chewer taking up politics:

Blair's name and face, once the Labour Party's key electoral assets, are invisible on most election literature this time.

The opposition Conservatives' chances of an electoral fillip, however, have been dented by the rise of the hitherto marginal UK Independence Party (UKIP).

A policy of withdrawal from the European Union and use of personalities such as actress Joan Collins and a talk-show host forced off the air for criticising Arabs have helped the UKIP storm to a remarkable near-20 percent showing in polls.

Next season, Joan gives Michael Howard a fatal heart attack during sex, and convinces Tony Blair to launch a preemptive attack on Moldovia.

Just read an e-mail saying that John Gorenfeld is going to be on Air America Radio's So What Else is News? with Marty Kaplan today. The live show is already more than half-over, but I believe KPOJ in Portland streams a tape-delayed broadcast.

Or I could be smoking crack.

Read This Article

A very important article from John Gorenfeld on the Moon psuedo-coronation in a United States Senate office building, this past March.

The two most important questions from the article: Why hasn't the press covered the event? And what exactly was the role of the Washington Times Foundation in the event? It sounds like the paper (or its "Foundation") was used as a front for the event, which is hard to square with the paper's often heard claims of editorial independence.

A Media Whore That Pays YOU

All the wingnuts who crow that Air America Radio is subsidized and can't survive in the marketplace of ideas (and ignore that it is a start-up) never seem to mention the underwriting of the paper of record for fundamentalist haters, the Moonie Times.

Now its seems they can't even give the Moonie rag away. A Romensko reader (see 6/4, 12:00 p.m.) reports:

After a DC car-inspection driven tour of the capital area's finest 7-11s, I noted a new and unique marketing technique: Giving Away the Washington Times. Or, more accurately: Paying People To Take The Washington Times.

You see, normally 7-11 customers can buy the Wall Street Journal for a dollar and the Washington Times for a quarter.

But now they will sell you both for 75 cents. Which struck me as a mite odd. Are they selling the WSJ to WashTimes readers for half price? Are they bribing WSJ readers to buy (or at least pretend to) the WashTimes? And most importanly [sic]: Can I waive the WSJ for a taquito?

After dropping the six bits down for the two papers, I walked out onto the street corner and got a Washington Post Express for free. It was all so easy I felt like I was in a sting operation. Or Eddie Murphy in his classic "White America" skit. ("Take the newspaper! Don't pay!")

The Journal is sold nationally and operates a successful subscription site on the 'net, so I don't think Dow Jones is paying folks to take its paper. And 75 cents is thrice the asking price for Moon's fishwrap/bumwipe. So there's no real question who's subsidizing who. Yet we never hear that Klansboy Pruden and Hermann Blankley are the kept men of the Anti-Christ.

Tonight I happened across Bay Area comedian and Progressive columnist Will Durst slumming on that moronic "American Idol for Comedians" program, apparently as a contestant. I hope it was a joke, or at least that he got some significant cash out of it.

Anyway, it reminded me how funny Durst is, and to steal these jokes:

You never hear about the weapons of mass destruction anymore. Now it's all: "He's a bad man." You know what, there's a lot of bad men out there. Kenneth Lay was responsible for ruining thousands of lives. Where's the footage of Army orderlies pawing through his scalp for lice? George Steinbrenner is an asshole: let's liberate the Yankees.

Fleabiscuit

A letter to the New York Times editorial page, July 7, 2004:

Over the last five weeks, Smarty Jones gave us all the opportunity to vicariously live the makings of the American dream.

In spite of the chaos and disappointment over our military, our political leaders and our businesses, we were able to take pleasure in the Philadelphia horse who by all reckoning shouldn't have won the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness Stakes.

When he lost the Belmont Stakes on Saturday, many of us felt a deep sadness. Even Edgar Prado, the winning jockey, and Marylou Whitney, Birdstone's owner, communicated sincere apologies; they realized their role in depriving the country of Smarty Jones, a badly needed American hero.

So I think that Nick Zito, Birdstone's trainer, really missed the mark when he noted that the fans "didn't boo that much." He added, "Later on they were O.K."

We're not O.K. We needed the horse to win. So fleeting, the American dream.

Defining Literacy Down

If you ran a publishing house, would you operate a website that makes you look subliterate? Would you promote your featured selection with prose that should shame a twelve-year-old? If so, you could run Regnery Publishing.

Witness Regnery's blurb for its new book on President Carter:

"Despite the praise and near saintly reputation he's been given for his time spent in the oval office, Jimmy Carter has been given a free ride by liberal media and historians. Before now, his Nobel Peace Prize and feigned humanitarianism has given him carte blanche to criticize and interfere with sitting presidents. But, the masquerade is over."

Nice!

Regnery boasts that it was "[o]nce a small publisher of important scholarly books," but has now "become a consistent producer of national best-sellers." Can't argue with that.

Only in Hollywood

Scoobie Meets The Pumpkinhead

Smear Tracker

A valued Roger reader and "groupie" has collected a number of "Vote for Kerry = Vote for Terrorism" links going back as far as March:

In March, a Puke Representative from Oklahoma, Tom Cole, said "I promise you this, if George Bush loses the election, Osama bin Laden wins the election." (Cole doesn't mention Kerry by name; it's more a "Vote for the Democratic Nominee = Vote for Terrorism" argument.)

In March, a Puke congressional candidate from North Carolina, Jay Helvey, "decried the support that Democratic Presidential candidate John Kerry is receiving from countries suspected of developing weapons of mass destruction such as North Korea."

In early April, blogger Slapnose caught Sully Sullivan endorsing the claim that Muqtada al-Sadr wanted a Bush defeat. Sully links to a Benador Associates reprint of a Amir Taheri column, which purportedly quotes a Muqtada al-Sadr relative hoping to drive Bush out of the White House.

And, not surprisingly, there are the confirmed lunatics, such as Ann Coulter and Robert Spencer writing in the pages of Crazy Davy's e-rag, Frontpage Magazine. I won't bother summarizing their drivel.

In addition, one of the bloggers at the group blog Lawyers, Guns and Money contributes this gem from February which purports to demonstrate that the Iranian government is endorsing Kerry.

Stay tuned for more updates.

A Crackpot Speaks

Don't know. I have complete respect for her point of view and believe I understand it and what's behind it -- a desire to further explore science and medicine to the betterment of man. But I do not share her views, in part perhaps because it's not the worst thing in life, or the most unrealistic, to have a dark imagination. And I see a lot of the research going on now as making inevitable the Age of the Clone. And the beginning of the Cloned Armies, and the Cloned Replacement Part People... Man should not mess with this.

Any guesses?

Update: Yes, it is the Stepford Peg. She struck a similar theme in her column just a month ago.

Today, she scrubs all traces of Jane, Maureen and Michael from the official history. Saints don't divorce.

Mary In Haste, Invent In Leisure

Brian Linse notes that the once feted John R. Lott, Jnr. is no longer cited much in the wingutosphere.

Perhaps he can start a new career with the Iraqi Enterprise Institute. I hear it's much safer over there.

Guess we won't be seeing Snitch on cable this week.

Or on This Week next week.

That's All I Can Stans, 'Cause I Can't Stans No More

"No, really."

"I swear."

"Look at me go."

"I'm leaving."

"I'm turning the doorknob."

"The door is open."

"See?"

Yes, Sully is once again leaving the Republican party. And this time, he means it.

It seems the Texas Republican Party has just come out in favor of intolerance, in a radical departure from past G.O.P. positions.

Unlike in 2000, when they were a model of tolerance.

Unlike in 1996, when the G.O.P. platform "reject[ed] the distortion of those [anti-discrimination] laws to cover sexual preference," opposed gay marriage, and "affirm[ed] that homosexuality is incompatible with military service."

And, unlike in 1992, when Patrick J. Buchanan raised the roof in Houston by stating that the Buchananites in the G.O.P. stood with President Bush (the elected one) "against the amoral idea that gay and lesbian couples should have the same standing in law as married men and women."

And unlike 1988, when Texas Republican Party Spokesman Robert Black said of the Log Cabin Republicans, "the Republican Party is not going to allow individuals like the Log Cabins or the KKK or any other hate group ... a forum to spread their hateful message."

And unlike 1984, when Jeane Kirkpatrick spoke at the G.O.P. convention and warned the nation about "San Francisco Democrats."

C'mon, Sully. Give 'em one more chance.

The Old Stab In The Back

What is this world coming to when you can't trust O.J. Simpson?

All of this led NBC News executives to charge that they had been victimized by Fox News and by the lawyer representing Mr. [O.J.] Simpson. "What annoys us is that people should play by the rules," said Allison Gollust, the spokeswoman for NBC News, which is owned by the General Electric Company. "We did, and Fox should, too."

Fox News executives had a simple response: What rules? "There was no agreement on which interview should go first," said Bill Shine, the vice president for production for Fox News, which is owned by the News Corporation.

That point was backed up by Yale Galanter, the lawyer for Mr. Simpson, who said in a telephone interview, "There were no agreements as to when, where or how the interviews would air."

But Mr. Galanter was quoted in The Chicago Sun-Times on May 28 saying something different. "One is on a major network, which comes out first on June 4; two are later on cable networks,'' he said.

That certainly was NBC executives' understanding of the order when they negotiated an agreement to devote an hour of "Dateline" to Ms. Couric's interview with Mr. Simpson. "We told them we wanted to be first, and they agreed," said David Corvo, the program's executive producer. Conventionally, significant interviews land on networks first because that is where they will reach the biggest audience.

Some people just lack basic moral values. The whole anniversary is ruined for me.

Father And Son

As Mark Kleiman has demonstrated, this bastard has made it clear exactly what kind of man he is.

But should anyone be anyone surprised? Let's look at Tony's boss, a man devoting a significant part of his fortune to elect George W. Bush as President. Here he is, just fifteen months ago, referring to himself in the third person:

Jewish people, you have to repent. Jesus was the King of Israel. Through the principle of indemnity Hitler killed 6 million Jews. That is why. God could not prevent Satan from doing that because Israel killed the True Parents. Even now, you have to determine that you will repent and follow and become one with Christianity through Rev. Moon.

Surely the True Father would be proud of his ideological son's comments, made in the course of smearing the opponents of Bush.

Chirp Alert

In which the hypocritical wingnut silence once again overwhelms.

West Texas Gals Go Broadway

Frank Rich writes:

"I want to marry a guy and a babe!" exclaimed Bill O'Reilly while trying out one such scary what-if hypothesis for his viewers last month. Someone should tell the Republican conventioneers that if you throw Hugh Jackman and a pair of maracas into that same plot, you've got "The Boy From Oz."

Here's a good first line of defense for the coming epidemic of St. Ronnie's Dance.

Programming Update

Sadly, if you want to see honest-to-God profanity on basic cable, you have to watch C-SPAN2.

Check out the 2004 BEA Sunday Author Breakfast rebroadcast, at 3:00 p.m. Eastern Time (and again 8:00 p.m. Eastern).

Plus, Bill Clinton at 11:00 a.m. Eastern.

I'm going to try to collect examples of the "If You Support Kerry/Oppose Bush, The Terrorists Win" slander like the Lileks/Fuckwit and Morris examples below.

If you see any others, leave them in comments or e-mail me.

If Bush is elected, the toe-sucking, newspaper-piddling johns have won.

(Thanks to a reader for the link)

There You Go

Ronald Reagan died at his home in California this afternoon.

I don't have much good to say about the former President, but I'm happy his suffering is over.

We can honor the institution, if not the man, by restoring honor and integrity to the White House in November. To paraphrase Ronnie, "I don't know about you, but I'm getting awfully tired of the lying voices from the White House these days."

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you humankind's finest acheivement in intellectual bankruptcy:

"[I]t's James Lileks who explains what's going on:

To paraphrase an influential thinker of the previous century: The death of millions is a statistic.

The reelection of one is a tragedy."

Mark your calendars, people. We shall never again witness such idiocy.

On tonight's episode of Sharp Practice:

Scott McClellan states that Bush is urging himself to cooperate in the grand jury's investigation into the Plame leaks. In response, Bush has consulted his attorney to determine whether he should follow Bush's advice.

Blogger/Democratic Convention Update

TBogg is waiting for his invitation from the DNC. Frankly, the Dems should pony up and send him to New York, undercover. (I'd pay to have him move next door to Lileks.)

Jeralyn Merritt, who has offered her blogging services to some media organizations, is also waiting for her credentials. (Hell, if I was the other Roger Ailes, Ms. Merritt would be filling Greta Van Sustern's host chair, and not just during the convention.)

Me, I'll just pay my cable bill in July.

White Man's Franchise

Is there anything the Republicans won't blame on Native Americans?

"Republicans downplayed Diedrich's 2,981-vote loss, their second consecutive special-election defeat this year, and said they looked forward to watching Herseth defend her six-month voting record before the November rematch.

"'If you take out the Indian reservation, we would have won,' said Rep. Tom Davis (R-Va.), former chairman of the NRCC."

Yes, Tom, had you disenfranchised American citizens, you would have won.

You tried that shit two years ago, Tom, but it didn't fly.

And it's not going to happen this year either.

Especially not in November.

Oh, and if your boy hadn't killed a man whilst joyriding, you'd still have the seat too.

Update: I see that Nicholas Confessore at TAPped covered the same ground a few hours ago, and even links to an entry in the same week from the TPM archives. A coincidence, but nevertheless sort of embarassing for yours truly.

(Via Buzzflash.)

Uriah Kaus Strokes Again

A Republican midget writes:

3. "We shook the tree," a reporter for The Hill tells Polier. "A bunch of names fell out, and yours had the most flesh to it." A bunch of names? Hmmm. Had Polier heard such names? Doe she think the hopes for a good Kerry sex scandal are completely unfounded? She's remarkably reticent about Kerry's behavior with others. ...

What the fuck?

Someone tells Polier that the story that she fucked Kerry was the most credible of the Kerry-fucking rumors -- a story she knows is completely false -- and she's supposed to ask who the others are and offer an opinion as to the credibility of the other stories? Did it ever occur to the Republican runt that the reporter was blowing smoke to justify asking an obnoxious and totally unfounded question of Polier? The reporter obviously knew nothing. Haven't you ever heard of a bluff, you dimwit?

And if, as Polier said, she hardly knew Kerry and never worked for him, how the hell would she know about "Kerry's behavior with others?" If you want to spend your days sniffing out a "good Kerry sex scandal," Kaus, do it yourself instead of expecting others to do it for you.

p.s. -- At least Kaus acknowledges that women loathe him and, apparently, the loathing keeps him up all night. (See 6/3, 3:36 a.m.) If there was ever a statistic that supports the existence of superior gender, that's the one.

Nooners Flashback

While some of us spent our Memorial Day weekend hiking, enjoying the sun and spending time with friends, others just spent time with their many personalities. To wit:

"In New York right now we are planning our Memorial Day weekends. We know we are in a difficult historical time, but we do not dwell on it. We don't always even think. We free-associate, like this: I should get a new dress for the graduation at the Saks sale. They could blow up the Lincoln Tunnel. Meg would love one of those little Chanel knockoffs from the street vender. If New York is bombed while we're in Boston, where will we stay? If Boston is bombed while we're at the graduation, how will we get home? Bring cousin Holly's number in northern Connecticut. Pick up mascara.

"From the dire to the banal. No, not from one to another but both interweaved. Having the jits and planning the party. People are dieting because summer's coming and wondering if an al Qaeda hit on New York would trigger a food shortage."

That's precious. The Bad Peggys are like those preschoolers who think milk comes from a supermarket. An al-Qaeda hit on New York would devastate this country's agricultural production.

In the next sentence, the Good Peggy responds that most New Yorkers disagree with the Bad Peggys:

My general sense is that New Yorkers don't really think anything bad is going to happen right now.

"And so goes the eternal internal battle for control of Peg's brain."

Someone should write a play based on Nooners' to-do list: Shopping and Fucking Lunatic.