Military Intelligence

This is not a satire:

-----Original Message-----
From: Information Services Customer Liaison, ISD
Sent: Thursday, May 06, 2004 12:45 PM
To: MLA dd - USD(I) - ALL; MLA dd - NII ALL
Subject: URGENT IT BULLETIN: Tugabe Report (FOUO)
Importance: High

FOR OFFICIAL USE ONLY


AUDIENCE
All ISD Customers

SUMMARY
Fox News and other media outlets are distributing the Tugabe report (spelling is approximate for reasons which will become obvious momentarily). Someone has given the news media classified information and they are distributing it. THE INFORMATION CONTAINED IN THIS REPORT IS CLASSIFIED. ALL ISD CUSTOMERS SHOULD:

1) NOT GO TO FOX NEWS TO READ OR OBTAIN A COPY
2) NOT comment on this to anyone, friends, family etc.
3) NOT delete the file if you receive it via e-mail, but
4) CALL THE ISD HELPDESK AT 602-2627 IMMEDIATELY

This leakage will be investigated for criminal prosecution. If you don't have the document and have never had legitimate access, please do not complicate the investigative processes by seeking information. Again, THE INFORMATION CONTAINED IN THIS REPORT IS CLASSIFIED; DO NOT GO TO FOX NEWS TO READ OR OBTAIN A COPY.

Do not look upon the Gubata Report, or thou shalt surely turn to stone. Because we take criminal offenses seriously. Starting .... now! No, really. For the love of Zeus, do not go to the Fox News website, click on the link marked Butaga Report on Prisoner Abuses, having previously installed the free Adobe Reader (available here), and open the linked .pdf file.

P.S. We didn't say anything about reading the report elsewhere. And please feel free to forward this e-mail to the press.

My favorite bit, of course, "please do not complicate the investigative process by seeking information."

What was that again about openness and accountability in a democracy?